Tales from Madhaven

[Prince Cherico]

I worked on the ancent Air conditioning unit, even though it had been
rusted through from centurys of neglect I refused to suffer through yet
another swealtering summer, and I despretly wanted to use the manuwell
I had found in the underground libary. Centurys ago some paranoid nut
named Maxwell decided that the end was comming and compiled a
massive libary in his basment appartment, he had all the books made
out of plastic, he even had a homemade printing press. Fortantly his
collection survived, half of the collection was composed of tectical
manuwells and how to books, the rest appeared to be badly written
books about a magic user named salior moon. The beast man who
had found the collection was quite willing to sell copys of the manuwells
at a reduced price for his metal morph friend, it had ment a week spent
fixing a rusty space heater but it had been worth it.
The aging skyscraper that I called home was one of the stronger ones
it was built during a time when built in soler panels were maniditory
and this gave us a source of free power however the building was
swealtering hot durring the summer. I looked down and saw yet another
stranger running down the street nakid and screaming.
I looked behind me at my brother.
"Third one this week Joe."
Joe sighed as he lazyly got up
"I dont know why they bother comming anymore, so how long until
we can loot his stuff?"
I staired as the screaming mand went into fetal posistion and sucked
his thumb and cryed
"I give it at least 3 more days hopefully this one brought tools like
the last one did it would make fixing the air conditioning easyer."
Joe rolled over
"Its too hot to work on that busted system"
I shot daggers from my eyes at Joe
"Its precisly because it is hot that Im working on this and have been
working on this for the last 2 months. If i could fix the generater then
I can fix the air conditioning."
Joe went back to sleep and I continued to work on the acent air
conditioning system. Finally I put the grat on the control panel and
flicked the switch. I felt the blessed cool blow across my face.
Joe woke up and stared and stared at me.
"I dont belive it you actually fixed that thing, you really are a genus"
Suddenly we heard a artificial lazer sound I looked at the window
at the now headless man in underwere. I looked at Joe intently
"I fixed the airconditioning unit that means you have to go scavenge
his stuff."
Joe grumbled as he got up and went down the stares, another day
in madhaven.

[The Galactus Kid]

that was awesome. Was the spelling part of the tale, like a journal entry? either way, it was pretty neat. keep it up.

[9voltkilowatt]

Like G.Kid said, it is very cool.


***So, what race are they that they haven't gone completely whack-o yet?***

[Prince Cherico]

Like G.Kid said, it is very cool.


***So, what race are they that they haven't gone completely whack-o yet?***

both charaters are metal morphs

[Josh Sinsapaugh]

Cool story Chico.

Though, how about making it into paragraph form so it is easier to read? Just a thought.

~ Josh

[9voltkilowatt]

AH. *smacks self in the forehead*, I've only read it once so I just kinda overlooked the reference to them and the beastman.

[Prince Cherico]

I walked outside of the building and just after my brother max had
finally finished the fixing the air conditioning too. A few of the more
conservative elders would probally whine about how the overuse of
technology led to the destruction of the golden age. Of course these
same elders would be the first ones to lounge in the now air conditioned
building. Thank god for hypocrisy, I guess. I walked towards the
now headless outsider, he had his underwear on which where now
stained with excrement. his gun was clean though so I pockected it.
No sense in being a fool, the weapon still had 5 shots in it which was
good it would take a week for our building to recharge a single E-clip.
I draged his body to the dumpster, for some reason the anchents garbage
bins seemed to be nearly indestructible and seemed to be everywhere.
I tossed the body in with the others, tomorrow was burnable day and
it would my turn to burn the collected outsider bodys again unless I
could con a lummox to do it for me. I really hoped the outsiders had
candy. Candy was the ultiment bribe for a lummox none of them seemed
to be able to resist sweet things.
I walked towards the outsider camp, they had started out with 20 people
the smell was horrible, the man in the underwear had been the last
straggler the others had already killed themselves or each other.
The Straggler had lasted way beyond the normal time phase if he had
offed himself a week earlier I would have won a pile of trade goods as
is no body won. Why couldn't the outsiders do me a favor and die
at a predictable time? I looked in the corner of the building and smiled
a wheel barrow those things always made life easyer it really was my
lucky day. I carefully collected all the outsiders worldly possessions and
removed their clothing and body armor. I looked up and said a prayer
for them,
"Um great lady please help these poor deluded outsiders find peace in the
great beyond and tell them thanks for the sweet stuff, oh and where ever
they are can you also give them clean underwear because no one wants
to go to the great beyond in dirty underwear its just plain icky and stuff."
With that I was about to go but in the corner of my eye I spyed a large
box that i had missed. I opened it and smiled it was filled with candy
bars.
"Thank you outsiders"
With that I tossed the box on top of the wheel barrow and proceeded
to cart every thing back home, with the box of candy I wouldn't be
stuck with burning duty any time soon, today really was a good day.

[9voltkilowatt]

...oh and where ever they are can you also give them clean underwear because no one wants
to go to the great beyond in dirty underwear its just plain icky and stuff."

Best prayer ever!

[Nxla666]

Cool story Chico.

Though, how about making it into paragraph form so it is easier to read? Just a thought.

~ Josh

Yes, but then it wouldnt be Cherico.

Good reading so far, Cherico.

[Prince Cherico]

Me name is Bob me am Lummox me am strong and powerful
today like every day it dirty and noisy. Some outsiders died
a few days ago me am happy outsiders scream too much and
make it hard to sleep. But today good day I offered whole bar
of candy just to burn outsiders, it fun job outsiders start out smelly
and then once fire goes they stop being smelly, me hate smelly
things they smelly. After me finish burning outsiders me carry
black stuff over to big hole where no one live me dump out black stuff
into hole. After that I put back big metal thing. Me go over to collect
candy, weak shiny man offer me two candys if I drag outsiders to
to big metal thing and three candys if me burn them too. I lucky me
get many candys today. I got to outsiders place and discover pink
shiny thing me like pink shiny thing so me grab it shiny metal man
can turn shiny things into other shiny things, and me want pink shiny
coat it make me look pretty make Lummox girls fall in love. I carry
outsider bodys to metal thing and burn them and then carry black
stuff to big whole. After that me take pink shiny thing to shiny man.
Shiny man tell me that if I protect them to next full moon me get
pink shiny coat. I go outside and eat candys today is good day Me
happy.

[The Galactus Kid]

Awesome.

[Shadyslug]

Finally...a format that Chico's spelling and grammar works well in...

[Prince Cherico]

It had been a week since Joe had hired the Lummox to protect us,
and it had been a long week. A outsider had attacked our clan
and we were asked to bring our stockpile of outsider weapons
to the forefront. It had been a long battle but the Lummox had made
all the difference, he was also instrumental in convincing the clan to
give back the outsider weapons. We were given right of salvage, and
the Lummox hauled the outsider to our place.
The E-clips had been completely used up in the fight and it could take
years to recharge them. I had a better plan though, the outsider
had been a Shemerian warrior powerfull cyborgs. Her head had been
blown off but the rest of the body was relatively intact. I hoped to
turn her into a E-Clip recharger but it was proving to be a slow going
project. At this rate it would take me another two weeks to convert the
cyborg into a recharger. I decided to take a break and kneeled down
before the god of trade.
"Lord Santa claus please grant me prosperity in this time of need
my community is counting on me to complete this project please grant
me success in this endeavor."

Joe woke up from his nap
"Why do you insist on waking me by praying to that idol"
I controlled my rage
"You know it was saying those sorts of things that got us kicked out
of the clan for being heretics. If you had shown proper respect for
the gods we wouldn't be in this predicament."
Joe sprawled out on the ground and crawled up to the Idol and pressed
a button. The Idol said "Ho ho ho merry chrismas loudly."
Joe then got on his back and said
"Why should I waste my time praying for that? A man gets through his
life based on his own merits and not on the god he bows before."
I was no longer surprised by his blasthemy but I felt compelled to speak.
"This is about Tradition Joe people have been praying to Santa claus
since the time of the Anchents."

"Max if the acents were so great they would still be around and if
Santa clause was so great he would have saved the Acents"

"Joe the Acents were punished for their hubris and turning their
backs on the gods"

"If thats the case the gods aren't worth worshiping in the first place
its all a lot of nonsense, the gods will punish you forever and
torture you for all eternatity if you do any thing to displease them
but oh they also love you."

"Ok Joe if you belive in merit so much how is Bobs coat going?"

Joe sat up
"I finished getting the measurements, and I was finally able to unwrap
the pink stuff, how the outsiders managed to get a massive collection
of pink water proof fabric like that I will never know theres enough there
for at least 400 lummoxes. I finished the cutting process and tonight I will
start the process of actually sewing it altogether. After that I think i will
use the rine stones to embroider the coat."

"Finally your barrel of rine stones comes in handy the barrel you traded
all our outsider weapons for. The Useless barrel of rine stones that has
been sitting their for two years"

"I said I was sorry Max and anyways with our location we have a stream
of outsider weapons coming in on a monthly basis."

"We cant count on outsiders having the decency to die near us you sold
5 guns and 7 e-clips for a useless barrel of stones we could have used
those guns during the fight they could have prevented the lose of the
three clansmen who died."

"I cant talk to you when your like this max I'm going up stares and I'm
going to get some proper sleep and when I'm done I will finish the coat
is that ok your highness"

I pointed at the door
"Then leave, leave like you always do."
Max left and I sighed finally some peace and silence.

[Prince Cherico]

I looked at the coat, I had decided to use the rine stones to
recreate a large flag of the ancients. The barrel of Rine stones
had so many of them in so many colors that my job wasn't that
difficult. I had decided to go with a Trench coat design I thought
it would appeal to BoB. It had taken several nights of work but
I was finished. I looked at the night sky from our building, and thought
about what my brother max had said. Its not that I don't worship the
gods at all its just that I only have the energy to worship a few of
them in other words the lady of the city and a few others. The shaman
of the clan had gotten angry that I continued to sleep through their
boring religous rites. Eventually they had enough of my snoring through
the rites and had ordered me to apologize. I don't know why but I refused,
it just felt right some how. After that I left the clan, my brother Max was
forced to join me to make sure nothing happened to me. He still resents
me for that he was going to marry a girl in the clan but with his exile
he lost his opportunity. She married another clansmen, Max was crushed
when he found out and hes been angry and snippy at me ever since.
Max doesn't show much emotion but I could tell he really loved her.
I heard the footsteps of a large robot and the amplified voice of a
outsider say "I am John Val John beware worms today you breath
your last upon my honor you will go back to the foul underworld"
With that John Val John laughed for a few minutes and then ran off.
He was a outsider whos group had been obliterated by Ruin worms.
He had been hunting them for the last few months. His shiny robot
made his effort easyer and his efforts kept out part of the city clean.
Unfortantly the grief had driven him mad it was impossible to speak to
him. I then saw some one walking through the darkness I couldn't
belive it. I ran downstairs as quickly as I could. Bob was guarding
the entrance staring at her.
"Bob shes ok let her in." Bob walked away from the entrance
"Roxy, wow this is great Max will be thrilled to see you."
Roxy looked at me
"Joe I need a place to hide, its gotten bad at the clan I need to stay
with you and Max." She then showed me her crushed mangled hand
I looked at it in shock.
"The man I married isn't the man I thought he was I barely escaped before
he killed me. Can you and your brother please protect me?
I was stunned I couldn't find words to express my shock, it was then
that Max got down from the stares. He looked at roxy with eyes that
emplored the world that it wasn't a dream. He ran over to Roxy and gave
her a hug. "You will always have a place with me Roxy, always"
I looked at bob he looked on as the two huged.
"This not good, this led to bad stuff."
For the first time since he had come bob said something intelligent
I looked at my brother and shruged, even though I knew it would lead
to trouble I would back my brother I owed him that much. I looked
at bob.
"Bob I finished your Jacket, you can leave the next full moon like we
promised or you can stay here for 5 more moons. If you have a girl
you like you can bring her here. In exchange I can make coats for your
whole clan."
Bob looked at me thoughtfully
"It deal"
If I was lucky there would only be 100 in his clan if I was unlucky 500
but for the first time I'm my life I had dedicated myself to the thing I
hated most in this world, work.