Mis-Credited, Mis-Stated Quotes, Rifts Style!!!

[taalismn]

"Ah've always depended on the kindness of strangers."

-Erin "Scarlett" Tarn

"EEEEEERRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Toc Rat]

"Did you see the sign that said, "Dead Dee Bee Storage" on my front lawn?!"

-Julian the First

You just KNOW that I was trying to find a way to work that Quote into Rifts!!

Curse me for not having thought of that one sooner!!

I could have sworn it was already on this thread...somewhere

[rat_bastard]

Kryzbyn wrote:
You'd HAVE to modify it to take out a hunter.

Besides, what other robot has a "****" gun?
I had an operator extend he barrell of his Hunter's "belly" laser just so he could say his robot had a bigger **** than anyone else's hunter...he also replaced it with a gatling laser from some tank...does 1d6x10.

*giggle*
Top ten places my mind went
#10 even if you cannot fire it, you must put a boom gun down there.
#9 Protection? baby, I'm MDC.
#8 Overcompinsate much?
#7 Sure beats the Coalition's skull motif...
#6 I'm pretty sure I know that that robot's weak spot is.
#5 don't forget to shake it after you fire it.
#4 Poor robot, allways thinking with his munitions...
#3 Why is that robot dry humping my Glitter-girl?
#2 Unfortunaly, after firing the robot rolls over and goes to sleep mode.
#1 This location is normaly requires a called shot and is -3 to hit, however in cold weather it is -8 to hit.

sorry, had to imortalise it.

[Rimmerdal]

#3 Why is that robot dry humping my Glitter-girl?

[cornholioprime]

Kryzbyn wrote:
You'd HAVE to modify it to take out a hunter.

Besides, what other robot has a "****" gun?
I had an operator extend he barrell of his Hunter's "belly" laser just so he could say his robot had a bigger **** than anyone else's hunter...he also replaced it with a gatling laser from some tank...does 1d6x10.

*giggle*
Top ten places my mind went
#10 even if you cannot fire it, you must put a boom gun down there.
#9 Protection? baby, I'm MDC.
#8 Overcompinsate much?
#7 Sure beats the Coalition's skull motif...
#6 I'm pretty sure I know that that robot's weak spot is.
#5 don't forget to shake it after you fire it.
#4 Poor robot, allways thinking with his munitions...
#3 Why is that robot dry humping my Glitter-girl?
#2 Unfortunaly, after firing the robot rolls over and goes to sleep mode.
#1 This location is normaly requires a called shot and is -3 to hit, however in cold weather it is -8 to hit.

sorry, had to imortalise it.

:frust:

[cornholioprime]

"The thousand Battalions of the Coalition Empire descend upon you. Our SAMAS formations will blot out the sun."

-Coalition Officer delivering an ultimatum to the Tolkeen Council of Twelve



"Then we will fight in the shade."

-King Creed, in response

(Ye GODS!!! I can't wait for "300" to come out!!)

[Kryzbyn]

Kryzbyn wrote:
You'd HAVE to modify it to take out a hunter.

Besides, what other robot has a "****" gun?
I had an operator extend he barrell of his Hunter's "belly" laser just so he could say his robot had a bigger **** than anyone else's hunter...he also replaced it with a gatling laser from some tank...does 1d6x10.

*giggle*
Top ten places my mind went
#10 even if you cannot fire it, you must put a boom gun down there.
#9 Protection? baby, I'm MDC.
#8 Overcompinsate much?
#7 Sure beats the Coalition's skull motif...
#6 I'm pretty sure I know that that robot's weak spot is.
#5 don't forget to shake it after you fire it.
#4 Poor robot, allways thinking with his munitions...
#3 Why is that robot dry humping my Glitter-girl?
#2 Unfortunaly, after firing the robot rolls over and goes to sleep mode.
#1 This location is normaly requires a called shot and is -3 to hit, however in cold weather it is -8 to hit.

sorry, had to imortalise it.

Right on

[cornholioprime]

"I ain't got time to bleed."

-Jesse Ventura, Caolition Special Forces, when asked why he decided to go Full Conversion 'Borg

(5 easy Geek Points for the reference)

[Jesterzzn]

"I ain't got time to bleed."

-Jesse Ventura, Caolition Special Forces, when asked why he decided to go Full Conversion 'Borg

(5 easy Geek Points for the reference)

"You got time to duck?"

[Mike Taylor]

"All inferior creatures are to be considered enemies of the Coalition and destroyed!" -- CS officer giving orders to a squad of Skelebots

"You must obey me! I created you! I am the master, not you! I! I! I!" -- Doctor Braddock

Yes, I know I broke with the format, but I have a hell of a time reading dark blue text on an even darker background.

[cornholioprime]

"The deadliest weapon in the world is a CS Juicer and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat.
Your Rifle is only a tool; it is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong, you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead Juicers and then you will be in a world of dren.....because Emperor Prosek does not allow his troops to die without permission! Do you maggots understand me??"

-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, CS Black Ops

[cornholioprime]

"No, you can't have it....you'll shoot your eye out, Kid."

-Splynncryth Sr., explaining to young Splyyncyrth Jr. why he can't have a Glitter Boy RG-14 Rapid Acceleration Electromagnetic Rail Gun for Christmas

[cornholioprime]

"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."

-Shora Kobe, heroic Altara Warrior Woman and member of the Atlanteans

[Mech-Viper Prime]

CPD Desk Sergeant: Before you go any further, pal, I gotta tell ya it's cash up front. A thousand credits a day for a full investigation, another thou' if the assailant is caught. Do you understand?
Unknown CS Citizen: Yeah. Hey, here's a Credit. Thanks for nothin'.
CPD Desk Sergeant: Think you can do better?... Punk.

[Mech-Viper Prime]

"What do you mean you can't find them? How do you lose a 6 foot cyber-knight female with a talking rock, huh?"

Captain Jose Staker, of CS REF

[cornholioprime]

"What do you mean you can't find them? How do you lose a 6 foot cyber-knight female with a talking rock, huh?"

Captain Jose Staker, of CS REF

Dude, I know this one from somewhere......it's on the tip of my brain.....

[Mech-Viper Prime]

"What do you mean you can't find them? How do you lose a 6 foot cyber-knight female with a talking rock, huh?"

Captain Jose Staker, of CS REF

Dude, I know this one from somewhere......it's on the tip of my brain.....

Heavy Metal 2000

[cornholioprime]

"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

-Audio from an invading Mechaniod Battalion

I think that I scooped you on this one......


...but if I did, it many many many pages back, and I ain't lookin' back for it...

[Mech-Viper Prime]

Colonel of Tolkeen Battle Control Room: Warlord Scard! Jericho Holmes approaching!
Scard: What do you mean, " Jericho Holmes approaching"?
Colonel of Tolkeen Battle Control Room: On a Coalition rocket-cycle. Shall I inform His Majesty?
Scard: Imbecile! King Creed would shoot you for interrupting his emotional breakdown with this news! Fire when Holmes's in range!

[Nxla666]

"If it bleeds we can kill it." CS SpecFor sergeant after encountering a Riathenor.

[cornholioprime]

"Howdy, stranger.
This is Hauser.
If things have gone wrong, I'm talking to myself, and you've got a wet towel wrapped around your head.

Whatever your name is, get ready for the big surprise: You...are not you.

You're me."

-Quaid Hauser, Temporal Mage, addressing his 'Id Self'

[Rimmerdal]

"If Dice could Talk" By Kevin Siembieda
RD

[rat_bastard]

Linus Caldwell: So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy!
Basher Tarr: A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy?
Linus Caldwell: Yeah!
Basher Tarr: You've gone right out of your tree, my son.
[looking at Turk]
Basher Tarr: He's mad. It's madness.
Turk Malloy: Yeah, it's crazy. It's NGR television crazy, and, we're still one short.
Linus Caldwell: No no, but think about it. She can get near Poor Yorick, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well that's a trifecta!
Basher Tarr: You might be right. Make the call.

[cornholioprime]

Have I mentioned how much I hate Total Recall in the past year?


<<Insert Mis-Quote from "Good Omens" here>>

sorry i got nothin'.

:thwak:

You HAD to say it, didn't you??

Well, just for sayin' that.....

"So, how long are you staying here in Chi-Town?"

-Unnamed CS Gate Guard of Chi-Town Gate in its earliest days

"Two..Weeks."

-Splugorth Changeling Spy, disguised as a fat woman

[cornholioprime]

"Why did you hide a Coalition Soldier in your
footlocker, Private Pyle?"

-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Brodkil Drill Sergeant



"Sir, because I was hungry, Sir!"

-Private Pyle, Brodkil Fat-body

[Nxla666]

"Why did you hide a Coalition Soldier in your
footlocker, Private Pyle?"

-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Brodkil Drill Sergeant



"Sir, because I was hungry, Sir!"

-Private Pyle, Brodkil Fat-body

[cornholioprime]

"Now I'm not gonna kid you. I don't really care about what you know or don't know. I'm gonna torture you for awhile regardless.

Not to get information, but because torturing a vampire amuses me.

There's nothing you can say, there's nothing you can do. Except pray for death."

-Doc Reed (10 Geek points for the reference)

[Crazy Lou]

"Nations are not great except for the activities they undertake, in this case saving the human race from the alien invaders!" -- Karl Prosek in a CS propaganda speech.

And of course there's my signature quote, it's in latin below, and it translates, "There has been no great character without a mixture of insanity." It just applies to Rifts, it's not really a quote or anything.

[cornholioprime]

"Nations are not great except for the activities they undertake, in this case saving the human race from the alien invaders!" -- Karl Prosek in a CS propaganda speech.

And of course there's my signature quote, it's in latin below, and it translates, "There has been no great character without a mixture of insanity." It just applies to Rifts, it's not really a quote or anything.

I can't guess weher the first quote came from....

[cornholioprime]

cornholioprime wrote:

"Now I'm not gonna kid you. I don't really care about what you know or don't know. I'm gonna torture you for awhile regardless.

Not to get information, but because torturing a vampire amuses me.

There's nothing you can say, there's nothing you can do. Except pray for death."

Damn, I know I have heard that before, but I just can not place it!


"Shut the blast door on this one Archie! it's the ducks guts!" - Hagan Lonovich on a new 'bot design.

It' from Reservoir Dogs....the torturer's name was Mr. Orange, I think.

[Ziggurat the Eternal]

"With the Information I can access, I can run things 900-1200 times better than any Human..."

-A.R.C.H.I.E. Three

Perfect!

"End of line."

OMG THATS TRON i LOVE tron. BEST MOVIE EVER.

[Subjugator]

Mr. Blonde

Mr. Blonde: Hey what's goin' on? Can you hear that?

[Guy_LeDouche]

General Jericho Holmes: "How odd that it should end this way for us after so many stimulating encounters. I almost regret it. Where shall I find a new adversary so close to my own level?"
(former) King Robert Creed: "Try the local sewer."
+20 Movie Geek Points

Cutter of Demonbusters: "They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me."
+20 Movie Geek Points


An unnamed Crazy:"If we talk for too long, I'll forget how we started. Next time I see you, I'm not gonna remember this conversation. I don't even know if I've met you before."
+30 Movie Geek Points


Lord Coake:"Time for plan B. Plan A was to break into Dunscon's fortress."
Empress Prosek: "And that you have done. Now what?"
Lord Coake: "Well, we really don't have a plan B. We didn't expect for the first plan to work. Sometimes you can overplan these things."
+30 Movie Geek Points

Lazy slob of a vagabond Lawrence, being interrogated by NTSET inspectors:" OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life."

+40 Movie Geek Points

[cornholioprime]

An unnamed Crazy:"If we talk for too long, I'll forget how we started. Next time I see you, I'm not gonna remember this conversation. I don't even know if I've met you before."
+30 Movie Geek Points

That's GOT to be "Memento."

I'll take my Geek Points now, please, if I'm right.

[cornholioprime]

[quote="Guy_LeDoucheLazy slob of a vagabond Lawrence, being interrogated by NTSET inspectors:" OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life."

+40 Movie Geek Points

Wish that I still remembered "Goonies....."

That one is Goonies[/quote]

[Guy_LeDouche]

Sorry for the delay all, got tied up on business trip.

Congrats to all the guessers! Here's the answers:

QUOTE #1: "Raiders of the Lost Ark" conversation between Indiana Jones and the evil Rene Belloq (not sure of the spelling.)

QUOTE #2: "Batman Begins"

QUOTE #3: Corn, you're dead on. "Memento" it is, a personal favorite of mine.

QUOTE #4: "The Three Amigos"


Of course, several of you got the "Goonies" quote! Silly, I know, but still a an entertaining as h*ll movie, even in my 30's.

[Guy_LeDouche]

here you go:

"Dr. Evil" from "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery"



Great translation, by the way. I could almost see Dunscon doing this.

[cornholioprime]

"Billy.
Billy!

The other day, I was at home makin' time with my Shemarrian girlfriend, and
I said to her, 'Jeez, you're a big D-Bee.
Jeez you're a big D-Bee.'

She said, 'Why did you say that twice?'

I said, 'I didn't.' "

-Sergeant Hawkins, Cyber-Knight

(I shouldn't even have to award Geek Points for this one, it's so dad-blamed easy!!!!)

[Guy_LeDouche]

No doubt. "Predator"!!

[cornholioprime]

"Where are you from, Fatbody?

....Minnesota? MINNESOTA?!?

Son, don't nothin' come from Minnesota but 'Zick-icks' and Psi-Stalkers.

And you don't look like a Zick-icks to me, so that kinda narrows it down.

Son, are you a Psi-Stalker?? Do you suck P.P.E.?!?"

-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Dweomer Magical Combat Intructor



"Sir, no Sir!!"

-Dweomer Recruit


"Bull!! I'll bet that you could suck the P.P.E. right out of a Greater Rune Weapon!!"

-Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, Dweomer Magical Combat Intructor

[Blight]

A female merc. and a lay-line walker are standing in a field when he sees a charging rhino-buffalo behind the merc coming right for her.
female Merc " so your a magician, pulling rabbits out of a hat huh." she says laughing.
The lay-line walker throws a black orb over her shoulder. She looks back to see it decimate the beast.
The Drained walker falls to the ground saying "oh boy, all out of rabbits."

[cornholioprime]

Setting the scene - A small squad of CS troops are hurrassing a D-Bee when a figure walks into the room, telling them to leave her alone.

CS Officer - "Is there a name for this private little world of yours, huh? What happens there when we don't just run away? You'll kill us... with a soup cup?"

Unknown Juicer - "Tea, actually."

CS Officer - "What's that?"

Unknown Juicer - "I'll kill you with my teacup."

The Movie is "The Chronicles of Riddick..." which EVERYONE on the Planet likes better than I do...

[cornholioprime]

"Billy.
Billy!

The other day, I was at home makin' time with my Shemarrian girlfriend, and
I said to her, 'Jeez, you're a big D-Bee.
Jeez you're a big D-Bee.'

She said, 'Why did you say that twice?'

I said, 'I didn't.' "

-Sergeant Hawkins, Cyber-Knight

(I shouldn't even have to award Geek Points for this one, it's so dad-blamed easy!!!!)

Predator II! Danny Glover what a blokey bloke!!!!

Awwww, man...you got the wrong Predator.

This was the part of the Movie where Hawkins was joking to Billy about the Girl with the big [__ insert naughty colloquilism for feline here __]...

[cornholioprime]

"Billy.
Billy!

The other day, I was at home makin' time with my Shemarrian girlfriend, and
I said to her, 'Jeez, you're a big D-Bee.
Jeez you're a big D-Bee.'

She said, 'Why did you say that twice?'

I said, 'I didn't.' "

-Sergeant Hawkins, Cyber-Knight

(I shouldn't even have to award Geek Points for this one, it's so dad-blamed easy!!!!)

Predator II! Danny Glover what a blokey bloke!!!!

Awwww, man...you got the wrong Predator.

This was the part of the Movie where Hawkins was joking to Billy about the Girl with the big [__ insert naughty colloquilism for feline here __]...

I stand corrected.
I remember now, he was trying to make the indian-fella laugh.


I liked Pred II better though, the Predators & Danny Glover were way cool

Predator II?!?

[cornholioprime]

"What made you want to join the C.S. army?" -recruiter
"An armed escort of two military police-men,"-recruit
"hmm, patriotic volunteer," -recruiter talking into recorder, "What were you in civilian life?"
"I was an Admiral in the CS navy," -recruit
"my my you left a well paying job," -recruiter
"I know, there must be some mistake!" -recruit
"My word yes, you an Admiral," -recruiter chuckles

Ya got me on this one.....

[cornholioprime]

"A blithering, doddering Idiot says ' what??' "

-Desmond Bradford, Chief Scientist of the Lone Star Genetics Complex

"What??"

-General Loni Kashbrook, head of Security, Lone Star Complex

[Guy_LeDouche]

"She's a witch, burn her!"

How do you know she's a witch?

[Blight]

He lost his license to practice cyber medicine in Kingsdale, KINGSDALE. Do you know how bad you have to be to lose your cyber doc license in Kingsdale?...

[Roscoe Del'Tane]

1) Preacher sees shambling mob of Zombies approaching the town. Leaps off the chapel and commences beating the living daylights out of them. "I Kick arse for the LORD!"

2) "I never said I couldn't use a pistol; I said that I never had much use for one." Gunslinger after shooting three men dead in self defense.

3) Bloody mess of aman bursts into a bar waving a shotgun.
"Unless yuo people want to die, you people'l do what I say, and you'll do it fast."
Bartender whipes out one too. "Mines bigger'en yours."
Hero puts his gun down. "Listen to me. A storm of hell's coming down on this place any second. I don't know what they are. I don't know where they came from. All I do know is that these Fuscers are fast, nasty, and hungry." Displays head of monster. "And there's four of them. They got claws like Ginsu knives, and more teeth than a chainsaw. Their comming, right now." Pauses for words to sink in. "So we gotta lock this bar down. That means doors, windowns, drains, and zippers, and we gotta do it fast."

Points to bar member. "You. Get a phone, call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks axe, and get 'em out here." Walks over to window to look outside. "Any questions?"

"Yeah. Who the hades are you?"

Pauses in act of sipping a beer. "I'm the guy who's gonna save your axe." Monster eats his head. Chaos reigns in bar.

[cornholioprime]

1) Preacher sees shambling mob of Zombies approaching the town. Leaps off the chapel and commences beating the living daylights out of them. "I Kick arse for the LORD!"

2) "I never said I couldn't use a pistol; I said that I never had much use for one." Gunslinger after shooting three men dead in self defense.

3) Bloody mess of aman bursts into a bar waving a shotgun.
"Unless yuo people want to die, you people'l do what I say, and you'll do it fast."
Bartender whipes out one too. "Mines bigger'en yours."
Hero puts his gun down. "Listen to me. A storm of hell's coming down on this place any second. I don't know what they are. I don't know where they came from. All I do know is that these Fuscers are fast, nasty, and hungry." Displays head of monster. "And there's four of them. They got claws like Ginsu knives, and more teeth than a chainsaw. Their comming, right now." Pauses for words to sink in. "So we gotta lock this bar down. That means doors, windowns, drains, and zippers, and we gotta do it fast."

Points to bar member. "You. Get a phone, call the cops, National Guard, townies, anybody who kicks axe, and get 'em out here." Walks over to window to look outside. "Any questions?"

"Yeah. Who the hades are you?"

Pauses in act of sipping a beer. "I'm the guy who's gonna save your axe." Monster eats his head. Chaos reigns in bar.

From "The Feast."

YES!!!