Best quotes/moments 2007

[kamikazzijoe]

Last years quotes were great. WE need to post them from this year as well. I'm still sleep deprived so i can only put a few down now and post more later

Kev: The scarecrow drops from the ceiling. "You will never stop..."
Me: QUICKSAND!
Ranger: Man my prowl is just not working today...
Kev: Ranger, you take seven points of damage from his thrown dagger. "What? What magic is this?"
Me: Wall of stone on top of him and we walk over. "Teach that bastard to monologue on me."
Kev: That's the fastest anyone has ever taken down the scarecrow.
Me: Hey ranger, don't forget to grab the dagger and lets go.
Ranger: It's still stuck in me.
Me: Ok, then I grab the dagger and we keep going.


[skeletons are crawling out of the Mississippi river all over our boat and the munition vessel we are escorting]
GM: So the six skeletons near the ammo burst into flames.
SAMAS: Guys I need help the skeletons near the ammo burst into flames.
Helmsman: That my cue to turn the boat around and head the other direction.
SAMAS: Hey guys. GUYS???
Army brat: Flaming skeletons huh? Musta been in the navy too.
GM: "How are you guyss doing? I don't know about you but I'm completely dead."

I know you're good at it Mike, but winning isn't everything - Madmanmike

[ApocalypseZero]

Making Juli's Nightbane seem like it was the scariest thing to a hospital guarded by NSB was great.

A personal quote I loved from the same Nightbane game.

"I cast Breathe without Air then diving tackle the Agent from my levitated position, dragging him into the water where I can hold him there until he drowns."

And that worked too, another.....

"Carmen, can you call Kevin and see if Julius is alright? I think we killed him." MadManMike. I think it was cleared that Julius can pass out from laughing too hard.

[Reelman]

In my Chaos Earth Game:

Mechanic charging the burster

GM: The burster throws fire at you, do you want to try to dodge?

Mechanic: I parry with the fire extinguisher.

And he made a great roll to parry!

[MADMANMIKE]

..In Carmen's after hours game on Saturday night I came late and picked a vagabond. The "heroes", and I use the term very loosely, had some tracks outside of town they wanted identified by a local, so I said I'd go and help them.

..I didn't have the tracking skill, so when we got out there I rolled on Demon and Monster lore and missed my roll by five. I was sitting next to Carmen and showed him what I did, and before he could say anything I said "Oh sure, what you got here is a Chupacabra."


..The Rogue Scholar in the group says "I roll on Demon and Monster lore to see if these prints are of a non-Chupacabra origin.."

..Later the Crazy is jumped by a monster that drags him into the woods by his head. I yell "Chupacabra!" and running after them fire the Big bore."

Carmen: "Okay, you need to roll a 16 to hit the monster with a called shot."

.."Oh, I'm not making a called shot, I'm just shooting in that direction. Hell, I don't even have the weapon proficiency... I get a seven."

..Carmen: "Okay, you shoot the Crazy."

..In Julius's game, My hero was a character called "Mr. Lucky". I suffered 40 points of damage in the game, and 23 of them were self inflicted.

-Mike <8]

[Braden Campbell]

My friday night, Thundercloud Galaxy game had an interesting moment, one which you don't often see in a role-playing session.

9 characters arguing about morality.

The Civil Engineer wants to finish the rail road bridge but refuses to work the natives to death to do so. The Corporate chick is threatening to fire the Civil Engineer if he doesn't get this project back on schedule. The four IDF Militiamen are breaking out the neural maces to bust some alien heads. The TVIA Inspector is threatening to bring in the CAF and shut this whole operation down. The Galactic Game Hunter is calmly trying to explain why the natives are so keyed up.

I just sat back and smiled, knowing that the setting I'm writing will work for certain.

[MADMANMIKE]

..During Julius's Sunday Afternoon Golden Age Heroes game, we were meeting some Germans working with the Allies in the woods; Jules had an excellent German accent on his English when he said what they were saying.

..After a moments pause I spoke slowly and loudly "ARE YOU SPEAKING ENGLISH? I WILL TALK SLOWLY SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME. WE NEED TO BE QUIET SO THEY DON'T FIND US OUT HERE."

-Mike >8]

[Warwolf]

I still don't know how you survived that game. And Juli's comment on that plunge into the nerve gas: "If it had just been him and Dead Sexy Katie, he'd have died."

Becuase I went in after his sorry a**. But, I guess it was the least I could do after he armored me in the scorpion's claws.

Warwolf, dangling from a rope in my game after an ancient giant staircase has plunged into a water-filled chasm 100 feet below: "Great, I'm a pinata."

Correction, it was 200 feet, I couldn't see in the dark like everyone else, and the rest of the party had fallen with the staircase. Irvin then describes how I am dangling above this chasm in the only beam of light present.

(Aside: I was the last one to touch down as I didn't have the climbing skill. However, I still managed to roll under my PP and use the rope to negotiate the 20 ft drop. As soon as my weight hit the steps, they dislodged from the wall. My comment? You realize I'm still hanging on to the rope, right? I then proceed to hear several loud crashes, screams, arcing electricity, and then silence...)

What prompted the statement was when the NSB agent un-slung the Steyr from his shoulder and started looking around:

Me: Wait a minute, you said I'm hanging in a single shaft of light... great, I'm a frickin' pinata.

I had a pretty good one that set Julius laughing in his VIP game. After we finally tracked down the werewolf, I called the group members that weren't present and stated, "We've got a runner... bring the silverware."

There are a couple from the Manhunter game as well, but they'll take a bit longer to write up...

[Josh Sinsapaugh]

Here's a few:

"I think Jesus was a two drum-pedal guy." - Brandon Aten, randomly, seventy miles outside of Toledo

Josh: "You're a skag baron."
Taylor: "I don't even know what that means?"
Josh: "You don't? Just what have you been doing with your life?"
Taylor: "Baroning skag, apparently."

More once I think of them.

~ Josh

[kamikazzijoe]

..In Carmen's after hours game on Saturday night I came late and picked a vagabond. The "heroes", and I use the term very loosely, had some tracks outside of town they wanted identified by a local, so I said I'd go and help them.

..I didn't have the tracking skill, so when we got out there I rolled on Demon and Monster lore and missed my roll by five. I was sitting next to Carmen and showed him what I did, and before he could say anything I said "Oh sure, what you got here is a Chupacabra."


..The Rogue Scholar in the group says "I roll on Demon and Monster lore to see if these prints are of a non-Chupacabra origin.."

..Later the Crazy is jumped by a monster that drags him into the woods by his head. I yell "Chupacabra!" and running after them fire the Big bore."

Carmen: "Okay, you need to roll a 16 to hit the monster with a called shot."

.."Oh, I'm not making a called shot, I'm just shooting in that direction. Hell, I don't even have the weapon proficiency... I get a seven."

..Carmen: "Okay, you shoot the Crazy."


-Mike <8]

Normal PC: The way the cameras are being disabled, it reeks of intelligence.
Vagabond: Yeah intelligence sure does reek. All them educated people walking around thinking they're better than you.

The techno-wizard sat in the middle of the town square surrounded by carpets of adhesions. He watched a cat like crazy run into one and go face first into the ground. After the spell was canceled she got up and promptly tackled the TW into another carpet.
TW: Holy crap! Did i just get laid?
Those carpets of adhesion were also responsible for the destruction the groups only vehicle causing the third fire in town.

Vagabond: I get the hose and start putting that one out too.

Later-Vagabond: I shoot the P.C.s.
PCs: What?
Vagabond: The priest gave me this rifle to defend the town and the only people destroying it are you.

[MADMANMIKE]

Normal PC: The way the cameras are being disabled, it reeks of intelligence.
Vagabond: Yeah intelligence sure does reek. All them educated people walking around thinking they're better than you.

The techno-wizard sat in the middle of the town square surrounded by carpets of adhesions. He watched a cat like crazy run into one and go face first into the ground. After the spell was canceled she got up and promptly tackled the TW into another carpet.
TW: Holy crap! Did i just get laid?
Those carpets of adhesion were also responsible for the destruction the groups only vehicle causing the third fire in town.

Vagabond: I get the hose and start putting that one out too.

Later-Vagabond: I shoot the P.C.s.
PCs: What?
Vagabond: The priest gave me this rifle to defend the town and the only people destroying it are you.

..lol, thanks man, I just had a lousy day and needed a good laugh. I forgot the looks on everyone's faces when I said that.

[Carmen]

Yea Madman you realy made the game wild!

[verdilak]

During the Sunday Juicer Uprising game I played:

GM: 34?! How is it 34?
Juicer: Well, look. My P.P. is HUGE!
GM: Ahh, ok...

Took him a few moments to get it, long with the Juicer in question. The rest of us got is immediatly.

[Josh Sinsapaugh]

Brian's "Manning Brother Adventure" thread reminded me of this one:

So, I walk over and sit down with Brian at his table, quipping "Hey look, I am Allen Manning." Allen was off getting food or something, at the time.

Brian and I get talking, and then Allen returns, I ask if he wants me to move - he notes that he doesn't care and that it's cool.

So, we continue talking, when suddenly someone comes up and asks for Brian's autograph, and then mine. I didn't sign the book (or whatever it was), as the person actually mistook me for Allen Manning.

Yes, I got mistaken for Allen Manning.



Not really a quote, but still funny. Also, IIRC, I believe that Allen got mistaken for Chuck Walton or Mumah because of where he was sitting, thanks to me taking his seat.

~ Messing with the fans' heads is always cool.

[Warwolf]

Messing with the fans' heads is always cool.

You want to talk about messing with heads... I wonder how long the Mannings kept their badges switched on Saturday.

[Josh Sinsapaugh]

Oddly enough, I could tell them apart without their badges.

I'm weird like that.

~ Josh

[Brian Manning]

Was that Saturday? I thought we did that on Sunday. I know we switched them back for photos we were taking, but I don't remember if those were photos with Kevin, or Eric Wujcik.

No one seemed to notice, but I guess we were easy to tell apart, becuase I speak in the third person. I mean Brian speaks in the third person when Brian's talking to other people.

[mumah]

Was that Saturday? I thought we did that on Sunday. I know we switched them back for photos we were taking, but I don't remember if those were photos with Kevin, or Eric Wujcik.

No one seemed to notice, but I guess we were easy to tell apart, becuase I speak in the third person. I mean Brian speaks in the third person when Brian's talking to other people.

It's a sign of a truly great artist who speaks in the third.

[kamikazzijoe]

So let me get this straight, he was just possessed by a demon, he's evil, a changling and unconscious? Thats a coup de grace waiting to happen.
-Barbarian after "beating the hell" out of the changling who had been possessed.
Not much later the fairy sung the bad guys ship to death

[J. Lionheart]

So let me get this straight, he was just possessed by a demon, he's evil, a changling and unconscious? Thats a coup de grace waiting to happen.
-Barbarian after "beating the hell" out of the changling who had been possessed.
Not much later the fairy sung the bad guys ship to death

Haha, those were awesome.

Wait - were you in that game? Which player were you? (I was the "Ramen" priest of Ra - the big cat fellow).

[Warwolf]

So let me get this straight, he was just possessed by a demon, he's evil, a changling and unconscious? Thats a coup de grace waiting to happen.
-Barbarian after "beating the hell" out of the changling who had been possessed.
Not much later the fairy sung the bad guys ship to death

Haha, those were awesome.

Wait - were you in that game? Which player were you? (I was the "Ramen" priest of Ra - the big cat fellow).

Wow... a wolfen fan playing a big cat... did you try and bite yourself?

[Spectre]

Julius VIP BTS game
A Psi Tech and a college prof run into a pawn shop on the phone...
"We need 5 rifles...
and a really nice silverware set."


Rifts Japan game
The players stood up and shouted (at exactly the same time) after seeing the village burning and learning of the betrayal
"We want his f***ing head."

[kamikazzijoe]

So let me get this straight, he was just possessed by a demon, he's evil, a changling and unconscious? Thats a coup de grace waiting to happen.
-Barbarian after "beating the hell" out of the changling who had been possessed.
Not much later the fairy sung the bad guys ship to death

Haha, those were awesome.

Wait - were you in that game? Which player were you? (I was the "Ramen" priest of Ra - the big cat fellow).

Sitting right next to you as the barbarian with the IQ of 7.

[kamikazzijoe]

CS officer: Medic! This man has a broken leg. Treat him.
5 minutes later...
Medic: He's dead sir.
CSO: What he had broken leg what did you do?
Madhaven peanut gallery: Worst...Medic...Ever! Hey some of my patients live. Dude he only had a paper cut!

Later that game as the boats are getting swarmed with skeletons, two CS are knocked into the water.
GM: As you swim back a grenade flies off this ship and lands between you.
CSO: What? WHO THREW THAT?
GM: The medic.
Helmsman: Now thats job security!
GM: You're swimming away so the damage will be to the legs.
CSO: Oh no! that can be fatal.

Gunner: I shoot more skeletons off the side of the ship.
GM: There aren't anymore.
Gunner: We got them all.
CSO: No they're just waiting for the medic to finish us off.

[kamikazzijoe]

Some more from the all night PF game at the hotel:

I use hypnotic suggestion on the rat. -Carmen playing a mind mage. And yes the rat was a normal rat.

The ratling thief returns with his head hanging. "I just got robbed by the police."

Shifter, we need your gorgon (Medusa) to get more involved in the fight.
OK
I now see why shifters are so arrogant. Now that the twelve of us have had our fun "playing" around with the monster unsuccessfully, your demon will walk in and have the job finished by the end of the melee.

From Julius's game on Sunday:
Madmanmike: So on your recon mission you didn't find the guy we're looking for, the bad guys we're worried about, or the secret passage and they now know we're here. That's pretty much a clean sweep.

Hey I have impact resistance so we can stop truck by me getting run over...as long as its during the day since i also need my solar powering.

I got a great plan. So we fill a car full of explosives, I use my race car skills to crash it into the front gate as a distraction and teleport out to safety. Hey we can even leave the two nazis inside so when they investigate they'll find that two of their own turned rouge.
Madmanmike: Hmmmm so they made four left turns, shifted gears, and drove above the speed limit while having their hands tied behind their back? I guess that's why they're the master race, such great dexterity with that third leg.

Almost everyone is in a room engaging SS in hand-2-hand including a super nazi with nun-chucks
Me: I walk up to nun-chucks and shoot him in the head. [rolls] 96 damage straight to HP if we're using modern compendium rules.
Alpha: What are you the executioner?

next action round:
Me: So how many are left?
Julius: 7
Me: So the same amount as when i finished my last action. [glances at the combat oriented heroes]

Julius: You find 4 SS scientist surrounded by grizzly experiments
Hero1: We kill them.
Hero2: Hey whats your alignment?
Me: Thats the great thing about SS, no matter what you do to them you don't feel bad.

Keeping in mind we're using pregen chars.
Julius: You see the scientist you're here to rescue.
Me: Ok I grab him and teleport.
Julius: You...you can do that?
Hero3: Well it looks like only one of us is surviving this adventure.

[MADMANMIKE]

..Jules told me that on Saturday morning when he opened the door Joe stepped out in his deadboy armor and said "Alright People! This is how it's going to be!" and somebody in the crowd yelled "We don't answer to the Coalition!

-Mike >8]

[Eryk Stormbright]

Some more from the all night PF game at the hotel:

I use hypnotic suggestion on the rat. -Carmen playing a mind mage. And yes the rat was a normal rat.

The ratling thief returns with his head hanging. "I just got robbed by the police."

Shifter, we need your gorgon (Medusa) to get more involved in the fight.
OK
I now see why shifters are so arrogant. Now that the twelve of us have had our fun "playing" around with the monster unsuccessfully, your demon will walk in and have the job finished by the end of the melee.

From Julius's game on Sunday:
Madmanmike: So on your recon mission you didn't find the guy we're looking for, the bad guys we're worried about, or the secret passage and they now know we're here. That's pretty much a clean sweep.

Hey I have impact resistance so we can stop truck by me getting run over...as long as its during the day since i also need my solar powering.

I got a great plan. So we fill a car full of explosives, I use my race car skills to crash it into the front gate as a distraction and teleport out to safety. Hey we can even leave the two nazis inside so when they investigate they'll find that two of their own turned rouge.
Madmanmike: Hmmmm so they made four left turns, shifted gears, and drove above the speed limit while having their hands tied behind their back? I guess that's why they're the master race, such great dexterity with that third leg.

Almost everyone is in a room engaging SS in hand-2-hand including a super nazi with nun-chucks
Me: I walk up to nun-chucks and shoot him in the head. [rolls] 96 damage straight to HP if we're using modern compendium rules.
Alpha: What are you the executioner?

next action round:
Me: So how many are left?
Julius: 7
Me: So the same amount as when i finished my last action. [glances at the combat oriented heroes]

Julius: You find 4 SS scientist surrounded by grizzly experiments
Hero1: We kill them.
Hero2: Hey whats your alignment?
Me: Thats the great thing about SS, no matter what you do to them you don't feel bad.

Keeping in mind we're using pregen chars.
Julius: You see the scientist you're here to rescue.
Me: Ok I grab him and teleport.
Julius: You...you can do that?
Hero3: Well it looks like only one of us is surviving this adventure.

and also in the my Sundaynight PF game.. the last thing Carmens mind mage said Right before he put on the EVIL rune crown made by ZY.... "yes.. you are all right, this is too powerful a thing for any of you mere mortals..."lets just say things got pretty bad after that

[J. Lionheart]

..Jules told me that on Saturday morning when he opened the door Joe stepped out in his deadboy armor and said "Alright People! This is how it's going to be!" and somebody in the crowd yelled "We don't answer to the Coalition!

-Mike >8]

Haha, that was me that yelled that I wasn't in costume yet, so was just a face in the crowd. ::grins::

[Rabid Southern Cross Fan]

Heh,

for me it had to be the moment my players were allowed to finally turn over their characters and see that I had done a 'Bait & Switch' on them. Their reactions upon learning they had all been captured and reprocessed into Bioroid Terminators at the end of the 2nd Robotech War was classic.

Then, of course. there was the time that the Salamander Battloid Driver slapped a Breaching Charge on the back of a Protector Invid. Mayhem, I telll you. Pure mayhem!

Finally, there was the VF-1 Pilot (played by our resident Nxla666) attempting to frag his commander (the Spartas Driver). Nothing like backstabbing fellow teammates. Its good to be an Evil GM.

I must commend all those who played Vae Victis for getting into the spirit pf the twisted Secret Agenda's I set for everyone. Ive been in some convention games where people take it far too seriously when the object of the game is not to survive the encounter with the 'bad guys', but the machinations of your fellow players!

[tenknifefoot]

<<My P.P. is HUGE!>>


Excellent exhausted gaming table moment, if you ask me. My gaming group didn't seem too impressed with my story about my huge P.P.. I guess you had to be there.