Mis-Credited, Mis-Stated Quotes, Rifts Style!!!

Ziggurat the Eternal · Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:07 pm

oh...my...god its Riftgate RG-1

cornholioprime · Wed Nov 14, 2007 4:45 pm

"What's the most you ever lost on a Coin Toss??"

-Anton Chigurh, Sunaj Assassin

cornholioprime · Sat Nov 17, 2007 3:26 am

"Where are your hands??"

-Victor Lazlo

"Between two pillows."

-Sir Winslow Thorpe

"THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!!!"

-Victor Lazlo

Library Ogre · Sat Nov 17, 2007 12:58 pm

cornholioprime wrote:"Where are your hands??"

-Victor Lazlo

"Between two pillows."

-Sir Winslow Thorpe

"THOSE AREN'T PILLOWS!!!"

-Victor Lazlo

Wow. Planes, Trains, and Superjaegers?

verdilak · Unread post by **verdilak** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:44 am

"Tray, I don't want you hangin' out in the streets. I want you to finish school, 'cause without an education the only kind of work you're gonna get is getting into the CS Army, being food for the CS Army, or workin' security for a bunch of heros." Psi-Stalker mother talking to her son.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:00 pm

"Remember; wherever you go, that's where you are."
-------Shifters' Motto

"Not MY Planet, Monkey-Boy!"
----Random Dimensional Traveller

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Nov 18, 2007 7:10 pm

"I don't wanna kill you, and you don't wanna be dead."
------Pecos Raider to a downed CS scout.

cornholioprime · Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:38 am

Daunlander wrote:"Ain't we a pair raggedy man?"
-Angel of Death to unkown hero who just wrecked an experiment

Aunty Entity, from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

Library Ogre · Unread post by **Library Ogre** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 6:17 pm

Dracurian wrote:"Don't know 'em & I don't want to know 'em," - Vlad the mercenary
"They're Altarian whores," - Marcus, mercenary captain
"I'm in!" - Vlad

Jayne and Mal, from the episode "Heart of Gold" in Firefly

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Nov 27, 2007 7:37 pm

"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."
----Captain Nemo, New Navy.

Library Ogre · Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:00 pm

taalismn wrote:"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."
----Captain Nemo, New Navy.

I don't know, but it seems horribly out of character.

cornholioprime · Tue Nov 27, 2007 10:52 pm

Daunlander wrote:"Ain't we a pair raggedy man?"
-Angel of Death to unkown hero who just wrecked an experiment

And

in that spirit....

"Who runs FireTown??"

-MasterBlaster, Titan Juicer, letting Aunty Entity the Shifter know how things really stand

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Nov 28, 2007 7:20 pm

Mark Hall wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats."
----Captain Nemo, New Navy.

I don't know, but it seems horribly out of character.

True, but the guy's been responsible for SO long, that occasionally he's gotta be tempted to drop the responsibility and go off sailing looking for swashbuckling...

Roscoe Del'Tane · Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:18 am

Magic_Raph_Inc wrote:"Caution, the flame of a demon fire thrower "may" start a fire" written of
TKdemon flame thrower to prevent ny lawsuit (originaly on a matchbox)
"Do not stop Tk chainsaw with hands"
"caution, handle goblin grenade with care"

Bill Engvall, the Here's Your Sign guy, right?

cornholioprime · Sat Dec 08, 2007 9:03 pm

Red Raven wrote:"NOW WE SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!!! NOW WE SE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!!!! HELP! HELP! IM BEING REPRESSED!!!!" - Dennis the street rat as hes being hauld away by a CS patrol

Ummmm...is that from "Demolition Man??"

finn69 · Unread post by **finn69** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:22 am

cornholioprime wrote:
Red Raven wrote:"NOW WE SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!!! NOW WE SE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM!!!! HELP! HELP! IM BEING REPRESSED!!!!" - Dennis the street rat as hes being hauld away by a CS patrol

Ummmm...is that from "Demolition Man??"[/quote

monty python and the holy grail

Blight · Unread post by **Blight** » Sun Dec 09, 2007 10:12 pm

Ninjabunny wrote:*A Mega-Juicer and a Grackletooth fall in a river with a waterfall up ahead*

Mega-Juicer:"Let me guess water fall?"

GrakleTooth:"Yup..."

Mega-Juicer:"Sharp jagged rocks?"

Grakletooth:"Lots...."

Mega-juicer:"Bring it on."

Emperor's new grove

cornholioprime · Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:13 am

"SILENCE!!!! ....I kill you!!"

Achmed the Minotaur

cornholioprime · Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:34 pm

"I find myself terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought."

-Last known journal entry of Doctor Peter Venkman, would-be GhostHunter, found on the outskirts of Madhaven

cornholioprime · Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:58 pm

"Don't tase me, Bro!!"

-Unnamed teenager addressing a Coalition police officer at a pro-Lazlo peace rally in the 'Burbs

finn69 · Unread post by **finn69** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 5:46 pm

[quote="Red Raven"]XO: Prepare ship for light speed.
CO: No no light speed is too slow!
XO: Light speed too slow?!?
CO: Yes were going to have to go right to LUDACRIS SPEED!

a crew getting ready to test a new FTL drive[/quote

SPACEBALLS!!!!

cornholioprime · Sun Dec 23, 2007 2:44 am

"Right now, there is a new religion invested in the city every thirty-five minutes. And yet, strangely, Juicer Chainsaws are illegal. There is no balance in this place."

-Spider Jerusalem, Interdimensional Traveler, on the streets of Lazlo.

GaredBattlespike · Fri Jan 11, 2008 8:26 pm

I love the smell of Fusion Blocks in the morning. Smells like...*sniff*...Victory!
Glitter Boy saying over the loudspeaker"This is my Boom Gun! If any of you primitive screw-heads...."
A large Borg in CS Borg armor says"You don't know the power of the Coalition side!" /Alterative: "The Emperor has been expecting you. He is your Master now."

cornholioprime · Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:54 pm

"We're not holding anything, let the D-Bee do that. We are advancing constantly, and we're not interested in holding onto anything, except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and kick him in the ass!"

-CS General George Scott, at the start of the Federation of Magic Counteroffensive of 12 P.A.

cornholioprime · Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:56 pm

Pyrobird, would you believe that we came up with the EXACT SAME Quote from the EXACT SAME General (Patton) and that we used the EXACT SAME Enemy (the Federation of Magic) to use the Quote on?!?!?

:lol:

Spectre · Unread post by **Spectre** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 10:35 pm

"You... have a plan, right?"
Coalition police operative to his teamate staring at the tectonic entity.

glitterboy2098 · Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:15 pm

"Take my advice and go back to the time you came from. The future isn't what it used to be."
-Grackle tooth merc to a freshly thawed member of the 30,000.

Grey Seer: Oh, I'm afraid you have to spend the rest of your life paying for your mistakes. Not this one of course, it's trivial, I have withdrawn the spell, but there will be others.
Joe Prosek Sr.: What are you talking about?
Grey Seer: You are touched by darkness, Emperor. I see it as a blemish that will grow with time. I could warn you of course, but you would not listen. I could kill you, but someone would take your place. So I do the only thing I can–I go. [starts to turn away, then turns back to Joe Sr.] Oh, I believe it was an endorsement you wanted. A word or two, a picture, to send to the folks back home, confirming that you have a destiny before you.
Joe Prosek Sr.: Yes, it was just a thought, nothing more.
Grey Seer: Well, take this for what little it will profit you. As I look at you, Emperor, I see a great hand reaching out of the stars. The hand is your hand. And I hear sounds–the sounds of millions of people calling your name.
Joe Prosek Sr.: My followers?
Grey Seer: Your victims.

John Sheridan: It's our version of the homeless. In many ways, we have the same problem Chi-Town does.
Julie Masante: Mmm. Chi-town doesn't have homeless.
Sheridan: Excuse me?
Masante: We don't have the problem. Yes, there are some "displaced" people, here and there, but, uh… they've chosen to be in that position. They're either lazy, or they're criminal, or they're mentally unstable.
Sheridan: They can't get a job!
Masante: the Coalition has promised a job to anyone that wants one. So, if someone doesn't have a job, they must not want one.
. . .
[Masante runs down a list of all the social problems Chi-town has suddenly solved.]
Sheridan: And, uh w-when exactly did all this happen?
Masante: When we rewrote the dictionary.
-overheard during an ISS inspection of Lonestar.

cornholioprime · Mon Jan 14, 2008 10:39 pm

"I've fallen and I can't get up!!"

-Transmission from a downed and damaged Triax Devastator

ShadowLogan · Unread post by **ShadowLogan** » Tue Jan 15, 2008 10:36 am

"Skelebots!.. Skelebots!... Skelebots we know what to do! We'll play ourselves wild!"
-tagline for the a musical group of reprogrammed CS Skelebots

"nice to know the magic works"
-recently resurrected warrior as he checks himself out in the mirror, hand on his throat as if to adjust a tie that isn't there

cornholioprime · Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:00 am

"Make it so."

-Nemo Dobson, Captain, USS Ticonderoga

cornholioprime · Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:02 am

"You still don't know what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility...I admire its purity, a survivor, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusion of morality."

-Last audiovisual transmission of an A.R.C.H.I.E.-Three Infiltration Android designation "Bishop," from within an Xiticix hive

cornholioprime · Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:21 am

"All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed?
Another glorious day in the New Navy Corps! A day in the Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps!"

-Unnamed New Navy Sergeant

glitterboy2098 · Mon Feb 11, 2008 1:41 pm

"Two thousand years ago the proudest boast was "civis Romanus sum." Today, in the world of freedom, the proudest boast is "Ich bin ein Berliner." - Karl Prosek, apon signing the NGR-Coalition Accords.

<did he just say he was a jelly doughnut?> - NGR ambassador to aide, shortly after prosek's speech.

cornholioprime · Mon Feb 11, 2008 4:08 pm

"Are you Victor Lazlo?!?"

-Triax Law Enforcement Authorities at the door of one of the Hideouts

"No, Sir, I am a meat popsicle."

-Victor Lazlo

cornholioprime · Tue Feb 12, 2008 8:43 pm

"I am Spartacus."

"No, I am Spartacus!"

"No, I am Spartacus...."

"No, it is I who am Spartacus."

-Group of smart-aleck Changelings, addressing their Splugorth jailer

cornholioprime · Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:24 am

".......aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAARRGGHH!!

Ten Thousand years....gives you such a crick in the neck!!"

-Unnamed Jinn, newly released

(5 Geek Points up for grabs)

devillin · Unread post by **devillin** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 3:37 am

cornholioprime wrote:".......aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAARRGGHH!!

Ten Thousand years....gives you such a crick in the neck!!"

-Unnamed Jinn, newly released

(5 Geek Points up for grabs)

Genie, from Alladin?

cornholioprime · Tue Mar 18, 2008 8:52 pm

devillin wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:".......aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAARRGGHH!!

Ten Thousand years....gives you such a crick in the neck!!"

-Unnamed Jinn, newly released

(5 Geek Points up for grabs)

Genie, from Alladin?

:ok:

cornholioprime · Thu Mar 20, 2008 5:04 pm

"OH! the Humanity.....er...the Brodkility.....I mean....the Phoenixity........OH! H**L, just pick one, Dang It!"

-bigbobsr6000, Reporter, commenting on a Dweomer dirigible disaster

cornholioprime · Thu Mar 20, 2008 10:40 pm

"Give me 20 D-size E-Clips."

-Radio Raheem, Rahu-Man

"20 C-size E-Clips?"

-Sonny, Flooper clerk

"D, $*%&^_@(%&#, D. Learn to speak Elven first, all right?"

-Radio Raheem, Rahu-Man

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:32 am

Ziggurat the Eternal wrote:oh...my...god its Riftgate RG-1

You expected otherwise?

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:41 am

New Jersey: "Why is there a watermelon there?"
Reno: "...I'll tell you later."

Two of Team Bahn-Zai's members reconoitering the Techno-Wizard wing of the Lazlo city's division of Bahn-zai Interdimensional Enterprises.

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 12:59 am

bob the desolate one wrote:
glitterboy2098 wrote:"Anyone who has ever heard it when the land was covered with a blanket of snow and elusively lighted by shimmering moonlight, will never forget the strange, trembling wolf cry." ~ Unknown Scandinavian Soldier

Kapten Buliwyf: 'Lo, there do I see my father.
Löjtnant Herger: 'Lo, there do I see My mother, and my sisters, and my brothers.
Kapten Buliwyf: 'Lo, there do I see
Löjtnant Herger: The line of my people...
Menig Edgtho: Back to the beginning.
Menig Weath: 'Lo, they do call to me.
NGR Hauptman Siegfried: They bid me take my place among them.
Kapten Buliwyf: In the halls of Valhalla...
NGR Hauptman Siegfried: Where the brave...
Löjtnant Herger: May live...
NGR Hauptman Siegfried: ...forever.

13th warrior great movie highly underrated

(F-Bomb)ing-A :ok:

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Fri Mar 21, 2008 1:13 am

"Now for wrath!
Now for ruin!
And the red dawn....RIIIIIIDDE!"
~King Arthu durring a seige by Foi-mori at Helmet Valley

cornholioprime · Tue Mar 25, 2008 10:50 pm

"And the Sign says, 'ya gotta have a Membership Card, to get inside.....' "

-unnamed Chi-Town hopeful, Folk Singer, and perennial resident of the 'Burbs

cornholioprime · Wed Mar 26, 2008 12:48 am

"What were you doing down in South America??"

-Free Quebec Interrogator

"Workin' on my Tan."

-Jack Conrad, Titan Juicer Commando

"Why'd you blow up that Vampire-infested City??"

-Free Quebec Interrogator

"It was blocking my sun."

-Jack Conrad

(2 measly Geek Points for the reference)

glitterboy2098 · Wed Mar 26, 2008 4:33 pm

Crashing through the night
Comes a fear full cry
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
Armies of the night
Evil taking flight
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
No where to run
No where to hide
Panic spreading far and wide
Who can turn the tide?

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
Hail Joe!
CS Joe is there

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there
Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
CS Joe is there

Can the world oppose
Deadliest of foes?
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
Joes will risk it all
To end the evil call of
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
They never give up
They never say die
Walking tall with banners high
They sound the battle cry-
Hail Joe! Hail Joe!

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe will dare
CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there

Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
CS Joe is there

CS Joe is the codename for Coalition's daring, highly trained
special mission force.
It's purpose, to defend human freedom against Lazlo-
a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe will dare
CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there
Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
CS Joe is there
Lazlo! Retreat! Retreat!

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there
CS Joe

-Theme song to a popular Coalition Childrens TV show.

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Wed Mar 26, 2008 11:37 pm

glitterboy2098 wrote:Crashing through the night
Comes a fear full cry
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
Armies of the night
Evil taking flight
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
No where to run
No where to hide
Panic spreading far and wide
Who can turn the tide?

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
Hail Joe!
CS Joe is there

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there
Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
CS Joe is there

Can the world oppose
Deadliest of foes?
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
Joes will risk it all
To end the evil call of
Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo! Lazlo!
They never give up
They never say die
Walking tall with banners high
They sound the battle cry-
Hail Joe! Hail Joe!

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe will dare
CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there

Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
CS Joe is there

CS Joe is the codename for Coalition's daring, highly trained
special mission force.
It's purpose, to defend human freedom against Lazlo-
a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe will dare
CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there
Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
CS Joe is there
Lazlo! Retreat! Retreat!

CS Joe- A real Coalition hero
CS Joe is there
CS Joe

-Theme song to a popular Coalition Childrens TV show.

You sir...win the internet for today.

glitterboy2098 · Thu Mar 27, 2008 8:31 pm

an entertaining if silly show about CS soldiers firing randomly with laser guns, never dieing as their armor ALWAYS protects them from that last hit, no matter how powerful, they have an endless of supply of SAMAS's and robots....fighting threats to the coalition (always ultimately the result of LAZLO schemes), set during the reign of Emperor Josepth Prosek the 1st.

well known for the villan you love to hate, the leader of LAZLO, Plato, henchwoman Erin Tarn (known for her skill in disguise and spreading dissent), and Thorp, the armored weapons master..

glitterboy2098 · Tue Apr 08, 2008 7:39 pm

"Attention, attention. Hello, wonderful people of Lazlo! Allow me to introduce myself; a man who needs no introduction: I am Don Karnage! For years, I have tried to visit your fair city... But you have always shooted at me! Ahem. However, now that I am here, you will hand over all your valuable knickity-knacks to me. Okey-dokey? I didn't hear a yes... "

"Worth is in the eye of me, who is doing the beholding"

"Speak up! My door is ALWAYS open sometimes..."

"This plan is foolproof... Which is the reason
I am allowing you fools to to handle it!"

"Why are those idiots making the guns go boom-boom?"

" It is I, the spectaculous Don Karnage! My bloodthirsty horde is on an intercept course with you. We will be shooting you and looting you in approximately ten minutes. Feliciations."

"You force me to do terrible things that...I enjoy doing anyway!"

"I will ask the prisoners. No... I will boil them in vinegar first!
Vinegar, and maybe some salt. Ah, then I will ask them, ha ha!"

"He who steals and runs away, lives to steal another day!"

"This had better be important, Mr. I-have-the-brains-of-a-duck-you-know!"

"I will show those sons of hamsters what happens when they put a reward on Don Karnage!"

"Did you say...crazy? NEVER call me that word!!!"

"No one would be so stupid as to attack the Iron Vulture! (gunfire, shattering glass) They are stupider than I thought! Retreat!"

Dumptruck: Are we going to rob it?
Don Karnage: No, no, we are going to plunder it!
Dumptruck: But wait, aren't we robbers?
Don Karnage: No, we are pirates! Pirates, Pirates, PIRATES! How many times must I remind you?

Karnage: Surrender up, Baloo! It is I, the incredibly, amazing pirate---
Baloo: Don Garbage!
Karnage: It is Karnage! Don Karnage! Roll the "r"!

Don Karnage: To your posts, men! We will fight to the last man!
[Gunfire]
Don Karnage: Then again... Retreat! Retreat! Full speed behind!

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Mis-Credited, Mis-Stated Quotes, Rifts Style!!!

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