dominator draft please critique

[csbioborg]

Jarith pitied the Promethean that lay before him. Strapped down by cables and made impotent by energy fields inhibiting his powers, the Promethean still struggled to resist. Jarith despised the task but it was necessary. Inside the Prometheans mind held at least some of the secrets of phase technology. That technology might be the salvation for his people. Jarith closed his eyes for a moment and envisioned the countless trillions that still were enslaved. The image strengthened his resolve. He began to activate the sensory machines that would extract the Promethean’s memories. The process was painstakingly long but since it was a physical extraction it was not affected by any psionic shields that the Promethean might have in place. The machines would extract all his memories and then filter through them for pertinent information using an algorithm Jarith had programmed. Unfortunately for the Promethean an extraction of his entire mind would kill him. Jarith swore to himself he would refine the process eventually but for the time being this Promethean was sacrificing himself for the liberation of Jarith’s people. Jarith hated watching this part of the procedure. He instructed his gremlin assistants to monitor the process and contact him if something went wrong. Jarith left to pay his subordinates. In truth, he was lucky his bounty hunters had been able to capture a live Promethean. He stepped onto a teleporter and arrived in a room where they were waiting for him.. He looked upon his motley group of bounty hunters. He remembered they had first met. The group had been trying to steal tech from his lab while he was away. He had arrived just as they were departing. At first he had planned to kill them but realized a group capable enough to bypass his safeguards might be of use to him. Venturing into the galaxy was treacherous and time consuming due to the Cosmo Knights perennial jihad against his kind. A group of capable subordinates powerful enough to capture the items and beings he needed would let him concentrate on his experiments. To their surprise instead of death he had offered them employment. Now they captured what Jarith needed and they were paid with technology. The arrangement had served all of them well over the years. Jarith commanded one of his robots to deliver them a box of items including a list of items Jarith was interested in. After inspection, the group thanked him and departed. When Jarith returned to his lab the Promethean was dead and his memories had been uploaded into the computer. Jarith commanded his gremlins to dispose of the body and began to look over the data.





The name Dominator brings terror to the residents of the Three Galaxies. To most people the Dominator’s are a one dimensional boogey man of pure evil who often is archetype as the Cosmo Knights greatest enemies. The truth is much more complex. The name Dominator has been given to this race however many millennia ago their people were known by a different name. The Dominator civilization spanned most of a galaxy in another dimension. They were a peaceful race that had coexisted with the other races inhabiting their region of space. They were run by a democratic government, called The Republic, that mandated war on other sentient life was only permissible in defense. Advances in medicine had made old age and disease only footnotes in history books. So the Republic had to deal with a booming population. They perfected terra forming technology to the extent they could make a barren rock habitable in a matter of months. They were by far the most technologically advanced race in a dimension were magic was rare. There people had not seen war in generations and crime was virtually unheard of. Theirs was a people devoted to progress in all scientific endeavors.

All that changed one day when they were attacked by an Alien Intelligence more powerful than the Three Galaxies has ever seen. The Alien Intelligence had in its thrall millions of beings on par with the strongest Alien Intelligences the denizens of the Three Galaxies have encountered. A massive war began. At first the Dominator’s were caught off guard. The Alien Intelligence and its thralls used magic, something the Dominators had never encountered. In a matter of weeks the outskirts of the Republic were conquered. However, the Dominators began to analyze this new form of power and adapted. Long forgotten war craft was remembered and the Dominator’s fought back. They brought back into commission weapons they had long since abandoned. World size ships went into battle against the AI’s minions. Hordes of robots and satellites were quickly reconfigured for combat. Many of the Dominator’s themselves consented to alteration. Billions of Dominators were augmented with technological and biological alterations and were sent off to fight the encroaching menace.

The war that unfolded reached levels almost unparalleled in the history of the Megaverse. The Dominators let loose technology on a massive scale. They attacked the beings with energy weapons that fired the energy of a supernova, temporal tangle fields, artificial black holes and massive rail guns designed to fire white dwarfs; just to mention a few. All this did was slow down the Alien Intelligence. Hundreds of thousands of its thralls were slain but the Dominators’ forces were sustaining dwindling. World ships started being destroyed faster than they could be constructed and worlds were being lost. Still the Dominators stoically went into battle.

As the years past the Dominators began to realize a grim truth. Intelligence reports indicated all other forms of sentient life the Alien Intelligence encountered were exterminated. However, the Dominators were being enslaved. They had been placed into slave factories where they were forced to design and construct weapons for the Alien Intelligence. Each world was guarded by dozens of the Alien Intelligences thralls and each Dominator was controlled by a slave collar that compelled them to obey. The truth became bitterly clear; the Alien Intelligence had not come to their galaxy by happenstance. This Being had singled out the Dominators for their technological expertise and had come to their galaxy to conquer them specifically. Moreover, their people were being used to produce weapons that most likely would be used to conquer countless other galaxies.

The war began to embitter the Dominators. They cursed the peaceful policies that had stymied their development of weapons. This is when the Dominators demeanor began to change. Many of the surviving Dominators now swore they would defeat the Alien Intelligence whatever the cost. As the war raged a change developed in their tactics. Before hand, the Dominators would not attack a thrall that was on a world containing sentient life. The Dominators had learned the thralls would immediately kill the planet’s entire population to harness power for its magic so it could fight back. The thrall’s had used this to their advantage by using sentient life forms as living shields. Now the Dominator’s would intentionally leave a planet with sentient life unguarded. When the complacent thrall’s left themselves exposed on such world’s the Dominator’s would ambush it destroying both the thralls and the planet with their advanced weapons.

As the decades went by the Dominator’s were pushed further and further back. It was then they implemented a policy that would have been unthinkable at the beginning of the war. As they retreated they destroyed any living world they passed in order to deprive the Alien Intelligence and its thralls life force of the planets population. Finally the last of the Dominator’s world ships made its final stand at the edge of the galaxy. The Alien Intelligence had appeared personally along with a cohort of his thralls to vanquish the last of the Dominator’s forces.

Knowing they were beaten, the Dominators looked for an escape route. They knew they could not outrun the enemy. There last resort laid in some experimental technology. The Dominator’s had been experimenting with some success with dimensional transport technology. However, they had never tried a transport of this size and the ship was not designed for the rigors of dimensional travel. Still, this was there only hope to escape and maybe comeback to rescue their people. They jury rigged a dimensional transport device to the entire ship. As the Alien Intelligence attacked the Dominator’s began their dimensional jump. The jumped worked but split the ship into pieces. Thankfully the Dominator world ships were designed to function as hundreds of smaller ships in case a massive attack destroyed the integrity of the entire world ship. Each one of these component ships were flung through the Megaverse into random dimensions. One of these ships containing several thousand Dominators arrived in the Three Galaxies.

The Dominators’ arrived in a fairly uncharted region of the Three Galaxies. Since they had been flung randomly through the dimensions they had no way of orienting themselves to determine where their home dimension is. They also were not sure whether they were the only survivors of the dimensional jump. They landed onto a habitable world. They began to research the subject and realized they could not figure out the problem by themselves. The leaders of the Dominators decided on a plan. They would break into groups that would explore their new dimension with three objectives in mind. Find a way home and research, try to gain contact with any of the other stranded Dominators and find technology that would help them liberate their people. They built ships and broke into groups of fifty to one hundred Dominators.

The Cosmo Knight War

One such group came upon a world inhabited by a primitive (roughly Medieval Age level) species of sentient aliens. The planet would have been unremarkable except for some strange energy readings indicating a level of technology much higher than anything else the Dominator’s had encountered. When they scanned the surface the Dominators found an ancient ship that possessed dimensional transport technology. Unfortunately, when they descended to inspect the vessel they discovered it was being worshipped as a god by the native population. When they approached the vessel the natives began to attack. The Dominators used their advanced weaponry and cut them all down. They gained access to the ship and began to research it. It turned out that the ship was worshipped by the entire continent. For days on end, the natives attacked any Dominator outside of the ship. Months passed and hundred of thousands of the natives died until a group of Cosmo Knights happened upon the perceived genocide. They approached the Dominator’s and demanded they surrender. An argument began and a battle eventually ensued. The Cosmo Knights were unprepared for the high level of Dominator technology. While several of the Dominator’s were slain the Cosmo Knights were defeated. However, one escaped to tell the story. The Dominators spent the next several weeks studying the technology. Unbeknownst to them the surviving Cosmo Knight was amassing a legion of Cosmo Knights apprehend the Dominators. In the ensuing weeks the Dominator’s were able to decipher the ships data and discovered the ship had a dimensional map. One of the coordinates, on the map, matched a dimension the Dominators had experimented travel with. Excited, the Dominators realized they were close to finding their home dimension. It was then that a legion of hundreds of Cosmo Knights descended on the Dominators. The Dominators knew they were scant hours away from determining the coordinates to their home dimension. They also knew that based on their encounter with the last Cosmo Knights they were beaten. Most of the Dominators fought a pitched battle to buy a handful of Dominators time to decipher the coordinates. The Dominator fought to a man killing several dozen Cosmo Knights but eventually the Cosmo Knights overcame the Dominators due to their vastly superior numbers. As the Cosmo Knights entered the ship the remaining Dominators finished deciphering the data. The other Dominators fought to buy the last Dominator time to send out an encrypted signal to the other Dominator ships detailing the coordinates of their home dimension and what had transpired. His last act was to pull a dead man’s switch setting off a kinetic blast destroying the ship, all evidence of their work, and many of the Cosmo Knights as well.

Initially, after the message was sent many of the Dominator groups were blind with rage. They murdered any Cosmo Knight they found along with their companions. This resulted in dozens of battles where Cosmo Knights and Dominators died alike. Hundreds of Cosmo Knights died during this period known by each side as the Cosmo Knight War or the Dominator War respectively. The feud was heading towards a bloody final conflict when the Dominators’ leaders intervened. By this point any Dominator was fair game for the Cosmo Knight and their allies. The Cosmo Knights had assembled a armada of ships, dragon and even a few gods to attack the Dominators. With only a few thousand Dominators remaining they would eventually lose even if they killed 100 to every one Dominator. If they died fighting a war here then all of their people back home would remain enslaved and the Dominators who had found the ship deaths would have been in vain. The leaders decided the best way for them to ensure the research continued was to go into hiding. The leaders of the Dominator’s order that each Dominator go off in groups of no more than three to research and explore for a means to defeat the Alien Intelligence at home. While all the Dominator’s complied with the order to disperse, not all complied with the order to hide. Some of the Dominators still tracked down Cosmo Knights and killed them. This led to hundreds if not thousands of battles in the millennia since that have left the Dominators at the top of the Cosmo Knights list of villains.

Present Day Dominators

While the natural life span of a Dominator is around a thousand years their technology has allows them to not age. Therefore most of the Dominators from the original group are still around. Out of survival they rarely congregate together in large groups. For them, there two most important goals are to find the other stranded Dominators and figure out a way to defeat liberate their people. Mostly they still live alone or in small groups, communicating with other Dominators through transmissions alone. They will meet with other Dominators to find a mate and for especially important missions. For the most part, they still follow the belief that they most stay in the shadows in order to survive. That is why an increasing amount of Dominators are using agents to carry out their missions. These agents come in especially handy when magic is involved. While they have become quite adept at combating magic most Dominators are wary of magic. With rare exceptions only Dominators born in the Three Galaxies are willing to rely on any form of magic. Now that they know its location the Dominators are able to send probes in order to view their home dimension. It is still enslaved by the Alien Intelligence. The images of other suffering Dominators help keep their resolve strong. While most Dominators are patient enough to try and develop their technology until they can defeat the Alien Intelligence there are increasing amounts that believe more immediate measures must be taken. Three competing strategies have emerged.

1) The traditional view. These Dominator’s believe that they must bide their time and wait until they can mount a military force strong enough to fight off the Alien Intelligence and its minions. This requires they develop their own technology and gather whatever tech they can from other races to incorporate into their own.

2) These Dominators believe that the Cosmic Forge is the answer to their problems. If they could harness its power then they could return home and defeat the Alien Intelligence. These Dominator’s are actively searching for the Cosmic Forge and many are willing to join the Forge War obtain it. The other Dominators scoff at the idea they should spend their time looking for a mythical device no one can even ascertain really exists. The only evidence of the Forge is the Cosmo Knights. If the Forge was real extremely powerful, how could the Dominator’s get the upper hand against the Cosmic Forge’s anointed champions?

3) There are an increasing amount of Dominators that have given up on their home dimension. They have decided that it is irrevocably lost to the Alien Intelligence. However, they still feel they most liberate their people. The enslaved Dominators are still controlled by slave collars. Probes indicate that the Alien Intelligence leaves their home dimension from time to time. During this period its thralls are left in command. They believe that if they could free all the Dominators at once from control the resulting unrest would be enough to free the majority of their people. These Dominators have been able to procure a few collars and are working a method to deactivate them. The problem is the collars operate through magic. Moreover, the collars must be deactivated across most of a galaxy at around the same time. Simply figuring out how to deactivate the collars is a daunting task to this magically inept race. How they will deactivate all of them at once is even more bewildering a project. Most of this group believes that there is a technological answer to the problem. There is a splinter group that believes the only answer lies in the mystic arts. Many of this splinter group has actively begun experimenting with magic. A handful have abandoned technological pursuits altogether and devote themselves fully to honing their skills as practioners of magic.

There are also an increasing amount of Dominators born in the Three Galaxies that would like nothing more than to be done with all the secrecy and simply join the galactic community. For them, the war happened thousands of years before they were born. They don’t see why they should devote their lives to a cause that they feel was lost millennia ago.


Notes on R.C.C.

The average Dominator is, in essence, a aberrant rogue scholars in a desperate race to save his people by any means necessary even if it means fighting every last Cosmo Knight, kreegor and alien intelligence in the Three Galaxies. While the natural life expectancy of a Dominator is 1,000 years their technology can keep them alive indefinitely. While many Dominator’s rely solely on their technology, there are a abundant amount that develop there existing pscionic abilities. Dominators are Master Psychics but they do not naturally display abilities. They must actively train their minds. However, this also means they can pick what type of pscker they wish to become. Over 30% do so, with most preferring to become mind melters. Dominators that opt to develop their psionics gain the O.C.C. abilites equivalent to their level. Dominator can become a practioner of magic but there are only handfuls that have decided to pursue this road. While Dominators can be of any alignment nearly all Dominator’s born in their original dimension are Aberrant. These being are completely fixated on freeing their people and have no qualms about killing or any other action that furthers that goal including laying down their own life.


Example of a Dominator

Jarith is a 13th level Aberrant aligned Dominator. He is a mind melter equivalent to his level. He resides in an otherwise unoccupied planet in UWW space in secrecy. Several centauries ago he ran into another Dominator who had trained a pack of gremlins to help him with their work. Due to gremlins natural affinity with machinery they are a great asset when properly managed. He has several thousand gremlins living on his world they help facilitate his work greatly. Besides him they are the only permanent sentient life on the planet. Jarith is actually quite fond of the gremlins. After years of isolation he is rather happy to have company. The gremlins are fiercely loyal of him as well. Jarith has treated them with respect and gives them free rein to play with machines he has discarded. Jarith is part of the original group of Dominators and he is still committed to freeing his people. He thinks the Dominators that are chasing after the Cosmic Forge are chasing a pipe dream. He believes enough research especially of Phase technology will eventually give him the edge to tackle the Alien Intelligence. Jarith is the quintessential Aberrant aligned being. If it is to further his goal of defeating the Alien Intelligence the he is willing to murder, steal and do anything else. This all is for the liberation of countless numbers of his people. Otherwise he is actually not a bad person he has unbeknownst to their owner he has helped several lost ships get back on course. Recently, he decided to field test some new robots on a world controlled by an Alien Intelligence, freeing the planet in the process. A decade ago he encountered a relatively powerful group of mercenaries that he keeps in his employ.

The mercenaries are a tight knit group of fighters. Despite their alignments they are all fiercely loyal to each other. The group met each other during a large scale operation in Phase World. The group found they worked especially well together. After the job they decided to stick together. They subsequently found Jarith’s planet and thought they could steal some valuable tech while he was away. He returned just as the group was departing. Instead of killing them he offered them a job. Now they work primarily for him, retrieving people and technology Jarith thinks will be valuable in his research. Over the years, they have delivered everything from gene stealer data to actual Prometheans. They are quite fond of Jarith and have never considered betraying despite the reward revealing the location of a Dominator would bring. Jarith has rewarded this loyalty with technological equipment unrivaled in the Three Galaxies. Jarith has found himself growing more attached to the group as time goes on. Besides his gremlins, they are the closest thing to friends he has had in centuries.

Bill a 12th level Aberrant full conversion cyborg that Jarith has had inordinate amounts of fun tinkering with. Jarith turned Bill from a standard full conversion into one of the most powerful cyborgs in the Three Galaxies. He also appears to be fully human despite being stronger than a squad of Naruni Repot Bots. Jarith thinks of Bill as a pet project so works on him whenever there is free time. Bill was originally a CS Grunt. He had spent thirty years in the regular CS military. When his son was killed by the federation of magic he retired and underwent Juicer augmentation. For five years he engaged in guerilla war against the Federation with his partner Linh. When his time was running short he was got embroiled in the events described in Juicer Uprising. He came across the aliens behind the plot. After killing two he retrieved their weapons. He underwent full conversion after the Uprising. Once he found they could be used on beings immune to energy he began to use his weapons sparingly. When he showed up in Phase World and finally encountered Jarith he showed him the weapons. Jarith was amazed to find energy weapons that could damage Cosmo Knights. He bought the weapons in exchange he made substantial upgrades to Bill's body. Jarith has incorporated the technology to all his weapons and spreads it to any Dominator he meets.
.
Linh's a 12th level Anarchist Hyperion Juicer that was transformed by during the Juicer Uprising. Bill and Linh served together in the C.S. and underwent augmentation together. After 30 years as a grunt alongside Bill he had no problems following his friend. When the Juicer Uprising began he immediately underwent the transformation. Jarith upgraded the nanotech that transformed Linh using tech he had created from studying Machine Men he had captured. Linh's mental attributes have been returned to normal and he enjoys the same power and life expectancy of a Machine Man.

Of the group these two know they owe Jarith the most and as a result the most loyal to him.

John- A human 13th level Aberrant former Invincible Guardsman with the change into metal super power. His prime weapon of note is a Cosmo Knight war hammer. He was made an Invincible Guardsman after an encounter was he was the sole survivor of a group of soldiers that managed to kill the Cosmo Knight. He keeps the hammer as a keepsake. He fled the Guard after he was framed by several of his follow guardsmen for smuggling to cover up their own smuggling operation.

Jinn- A human 10th level Anarchist former Gun Brother Bioborg. He is an extremely skilled martial artist that has been augmented to biowizardry’s full extent. He rarely talks about it but he left the Brotherhood over a dispute concerning a woman. Despite his martial skills he prefers

Griff- A human 10th level Aberrant Fallen Cosmo Knight. Griff was born on one of the worlds of the Central Alliance. Griff fell from grace when the Cosmo Knights he was traveling with planned to prevent an attack by against a nonaligned world by the Central Alliance. Griff discovered his home world was leading the attack. He tried to dissuade the Cosmo Knights from intervening arguing it was a political matter they should not be involved in. The other Cosmo Knights rightfully said the Central Alliance was attacking a peaceful planet and they needed to intervene. He knew if the Cosmo Knights sided against the Central Alliance they would slaughter them. Torn between his own people and his fellow Cosmo Knights Griff chose his countrymen. He attacked the other Cosmo Knights as they were about to leave the planet to engage the Central Alliance fleet. One Cosmo Knight stayed to restrain Griff while the others engaged the Central Alliance fleet. Griff killed the Cosmo Knights just as he lost his powers. He could only watch the explosions fill the night sky indicating the destruction of the fleet. After discovering his brother was on one of the ships Griff grew mad with grief. He swore he would get revenge on his former comrades. Between a greater soul drinking rune sword he owns and the equipment Jarith gives him he is rapidly gaining the power he needs to do just that. He has already killed one of the six Cosmo Knights that destroyed the fleet that night. His rune sword cannot wait to taste the soul of another Cosmo Knight

Vuy is an Aberrant Martial Artist (11th level) from the Ninja and Super Spies World who is married to the only nonhuman of the group Sara a Miscreant Oni Assassin Aberrant (8th level). He has never explained how he came to the Three Galaxies because he doesn’t know himself. All he remembers is an encounter with an Immortal and then waking up in Phase World. He quickly found himself employment as an assassin. Vuy and Sara found themselves after the same mark. They both mistook one another to be the mark’s bodyguard and fought a pitched battle. Vuy was victorious when a beam gave way that was damaged during the fight. When Vuy undid Sara’s helmet he was surprised to see a woman, albeit an alien woman’s face. Already impressed by her martial ability he immediately became enamored when he saw her beautiful features. He nursed her back to health and the two fell in love. Sara ran away from her clan with Vuy and they have been together for two decades now. Vuy recently was beginning to show signs of aging but Jarith preformed a procedure has put him back in his prime.


Jarith's Equipment of note
Jarith's planet is surrounded by an array of combat satellites.
His planet is covered by ground to space platforms.
He always has a laser pistol that does 1d4 x 100 damage that has been modified with the Juicer Uprising alien’s tech to so it harms even beings immune to energy. and a force field of 2,000 M.D.C. While on his planet he can summon thousands of attack robots in a manner of minutes. Off planet he wears power armor with 5,000 MDC (2,000 MDC for each limb and head) built with nanotech plus a built in 3,000 MDC force field. The nanobots regenerate the armor at 2d8 x 10 MDC per melee round unless brought to zero. He also carries a sword that does 5d6 x 10 MDC damage. The armor's weapons systems fire energy blasts that do 3d4 x 100 per shot. All his equipment, from his robots to his armor has been converted using the Juicer Uprising Technology so it can affect Cosmo Knights. Jarith would almost look forward to Cosmo Knights finding his planet. Jarith was one of the Dominators advocating war against them and he still carries a grudge against the Cosmo Knights for all his comrades that fell during the Cosmo Knight

[Daikuma]

I liked it. Although I think this flies in the face of the established "let the bad guys really just be BAD" attitude that is prevalent in the Palladium verse, it shows great promise.

There were a few grammatical errors (although I assume you are not asking about those) and this part here:

As they retreated they retreated they destroyed any living world they passed in order to deprive the Alien Intelligence and its thralls the planets life-force.

Is right out of the recent "Replicators Vs. Wraith" storyline going on in Stargate: Atlantis for the last 2-3 months, so you may want to submerge it a little more. [if you haven't seen it, the Replicators, in an effort to destroy the Wraith as they are programmed to do, start wiping out entire sentient worlds to starve out the Wraith and herd them to their destruction]

[csbioborg]

As they retreated they retreated they destroyed any living world they passed in order to deprive the Alien Intelligence and its thralls the planets life-force.

Is right out of the recent "Replicators Vs. Wraith" storyline going on in Stargate: Atlantis for the last 2-3 months, so you may want to submerge it a little more. [if you haven't seen it, the Replicators, in an effort to destroy the Wraith as they are programmed to do, start wiping out entire sentient worlds to starve out the Wraith and herd them to their destruction][/quote]

Thanks for the input
How do you suggest I do that?

BTW I haven't been watching Stargate Alantis. Getting rid of Jack O'Neil really killed it for me with Stargate. HOw did the Replicator's and Wraith start fighting? Is Lt Ford still drinkning Wraith organs or did they kill/capture him?

[Aramanthus]

Over all it looks awesome. Just one thing that bothers me is the armor he built at the end of your article.

Off planet he wears power armor that makes him knigh unstopable

That bothers me a little. I think it should be statted out. Sorry, but I for one think that nothing is indestructible. Extremely powerful is fine, but things do need some limits. I would put definate limits on somethings like his power armor.
I do like the additions you've made!

[csbioborg]

Over all it looks awesome. Just one thing that bothers me is the armor he built at the end of your article.

Off planet he wears power armor that makes him knigh unstopable

That bothers me a little. I think it should be statted out. Sorry, but I for one think that nothing is indestructible. Extremely powerful is fine, but things do need some limits. I would put definate limits on somethings like his power armor.
I do like the additions you've made!

I changed it to

Off planet he wears power armor with 25,000 MDC built with nanotech plus a 10,000 MDC force field. The nanobytes regenertate regnerate the armor at 2d8 x 10 per melee round. He also wields a monoedged sword that does 5d6 times 10 damage. The armor's weapons ststems do 3d4 X 100 per shot. All his equipment, from his robots to his armor has been converted using the Juicer Uprising Technology so can affect Cosmo Knights

How else should I change it to be suitable for submission
Thanks for the input.

[glitterboy2098]

so he's wearing a 3G's battlecruiser?

i'd drop the MDC down to 2,500mdc , and the FF reduced to about 2,000.
still very tough for PC's, even cosmoknights, to deal with, but not requiring you to divert a Warshield cruiser to for a 1 on 1 duel.

DB2 puts the standard Dominator body armor at 1000mdc main body and 500 for limbs and head.

a dominators main strength is in it's mothership ("thats no moon") and the army it has gathered. (probably mostly drones, though hired guns would be very likely as well)

their Motherships are described as having enough firepower to devestate a planet. call it 10-20x that of a Doombringer, which has several hundred megatons per second firepower. to actually devestate a planet, the mothership could bombard the surface over the space of a few days, wiping out entire cities in each blast.

[csbioborg]

Thank you that's why I posted this. Are the weapons okay or should they be changed. What about the backstory?

so he's wearing a 3G's battlecruiser?

i'd drop the MDC down to 2,500mdc , and the FF reduced to about 2,000.
still very tough for PC's, even cosmoknights, to deal with, but not requiring you to divert a Warshield cruiser to for a 1 on 1 duel.

DB2 puts the standard Dominator body armor at 1000mdc main body and 500 for limbs and head.

a dominators main strength is in it's mothership ("thats no moon") and the army it has gathered. (probably mostly drones, though hired guns would be very likely as well)

their Motherships are described as having enough firepower to devestate a planet. call it 10-20x that of a Doombringer, which has several hundred megatons per second firepower. to actually devestate a planet, the mothership could bombard the surface over the space of a few days, wiping out entire cities in each blast.

[Daikuma]

As they retreated they destroyed any living world they passed in order to deprive the Alien Intelligence and its thralls the planets life-force.

Is right out of the recent "Replicators Vs. Wraith" storyline going on in Stargate: Atlantis for the last 2-3 months, so you may want to submerge it a little more. [if you haven't seen it, the Replicators, in an effort to destroy the Wraith as they are programmed to do, start wiping out entire sentient worlds to starve out the Wraith and herd them to their destruction]

Thanks for the input
How do you suggest I do that?

BTW I haven't been watching Stargate Alantis. Getting rid of Jack O'Neil really killed it for me with Stargate. HOw did the Replicator's and Wraith start fighting? Is Lt Ford still drinkning Wraith organs or did they kill/capture him?

Not sure how I'd do it. Just mentioning that the content overlaps, and from personal experience I can tell you that it will often knock down an otherwise perfect submission from publishing because "someone on staff saw that episode". Now if you have no intention of submitting it for publication, keep it as it is (don't get me wrong, I like it, I've ust seen it).

Let's see, it turns out the replicators were created by the ancients with the sole purpose of destroying the wraith in the first place. The Atlantis crew figured this out and reactivated that part of their programming. The Replicators (now in complete humanform) are still waging a war using every tactic they have, including the "starve them out" one you mentioned.

And they disappeared Lt. Ford way back when. I think this is the second season where Rainbow Sun Francks name doesn't appear in the credits.

Oh, and Teyla is pregnant...

[Aramanthus]

There is precedence for the nano tech material in Phase World. I think it looks fine to me.

[Spinachcat]

Good rough draft.

I still think you have a Rifter article here - an alternate view of Dominators. You need to polish up the writing, but you have a great start. Give us more of an insight in Jarith's long term plans and build adventure hooks around him.

I am hesitant about the numbers in the article. Everything seems a tad overdone - Jarith seems like the UberDominator. Go back to the info we have on the Dominators and build us some "average" Dominators. Maybe work up some charts to help GMs personalize their Dominators and build up ways to focus on this "rogue scholar" aspect.

I have trouble with the super-cohesive, buddy buddy group of evil mercs. Delve more into their evil...or their aberrant codes and how they pertain to Jarith. Also, they need more than just first names and tighten their backgrounds.

I am much more interested in hearing more about your take on the misunderstood mega-villains than details about their lackeys.

I am looking forward to seeing more!