Things you hate to hear as a GM

[DhAkael]

"I wouldn't do that if I was GMing"

"What do you mean I didn't hit."

"Why are they running away? The battle isn't over."

"It's not fair to have have them ambush us."

"Your having them outflank us?"

"Bardic Knlowedge"

"I go to the tavern to get information." *rolls dice* "20 on my Gather Informtation roll! What do I learn."
My response "A new swine sickness is spreading and the price of pork will double next week.".

All these and more have I experienced as GM.
I know your pain.

[Reagren Wright]

I've got the best one of all-Cell Phone Rings during the middle of gaming,
especially when they are from ones significant other, and the person is
on the phone for more than 5 minutes .

[Vrykolas2k]

I've got the best one of all-Cell Phone Rings during the middle of gaming,
especially when they are from ones significant other, and the person is
on the phone for more than 5 minutes .

I have everyone turn off their cell-phones 'ere we begin, or ask them to leave if they don't.
Unless they're expecting some sort of emergency call or whatever...

[LostOne]

"When do we get to the sex?"

I had a new player ask something along those lines one time...the entire group (including my as GM and the new player) were guys.

I leaned back, licked my fingers and rubbed a nipple (through my t-shirt) and said, "anytime you want, baby." Never saw him again.

I can't stand players that only want to have sex vicariously through their characters...go out and get a date. Listening to you live our your sick fetishes through your character is not entertaining for everyone else, and possibly sickening or emotionally scarring.

I have everyone turn off their cell-phones 'ere we begin, or ask them to leave if they don't.
Unless they're expecting some sort of emergency call or whatever...

Doesn't work for me. I'm a parent, and also on call for work when the network/servers break. My cellphone is on 24/7, but since I'm usually the GM (and some of the other members are also parents), everyone understands. I've actually have to leave gaming 10 minutes into it because something at work broke.

[The Beast]

I've got the best one of all-Cell Phone Rings during the middle of gaming,
especially when they are from ones significant other, and the person is
on the phone for more than 5 minutes .

I have everyone turn off their cell-phones 'ere we begin, or ask them to leave if they don't.
Unless they're expecting some sort of emergency call or whatever...

I don't mind the interuptions unless they occur frequently to one player, or they don't leave the table if the call's gonna take awhile.

[Vrykolas2k]

I've got the best one of all-Cell Phone Rings during the middle of gaming,
especially when they are from ones significant other, and the person is
on the phone for more than 5 minutes .

I have everyone turn off their cell-phones 'ere we begin, or ask them to leave if they don't.
Unless they're expecting some sort of emergency call or whatever...

I don't mind the interuptions unless they occur frequently to one player, or they don't leave the table if the call's gonna take awhile.

I guess it's got to do with the fact it's always been personal calls coming in. Most of the people I know who are on call 24/7 don't game.

[The Beast]

..."you saw me roll these stats" i have a party member who has character with at lest 4 exception stats on every character :\

What wrong with that, as long as you saw the rolls?

[bigbobsr6000]

For those who GM at their place of residence.

"Dude, where's your plunger?"

(From down the hall.) "Anymore toliet paper?"

(From the kitchen.) CRASH...tingle..tingle..."Oops!"

"I let your cat/dog out."

(Comes from kitchen w/plate of food what was your next day's lunch.) "It's okay if I eat this?"

"Next time could you buy more soda and snacks?"



The Horror.....The Horror......

[Northern Ranger]

I had a saying I have said in every single game I have ever played in that always confuses then annoys my GMs "I crouch down and fill up one of my small pouches full of sand" at some point later in the game during close combat its followed up with " I reach into in my small pouch with my free hand and throw some sand in his eyes" Who says you have to slaughter the GMs big baddie when you can humiliate them?

Lynx

[bigbobsr6000]

After all have left at 0-dark-thirty the last player states: "I need a ride."

[Natasha]

After all have left at 0-dark-thirty the last player states: "I need a ride."

And then she needs somebody to take her home!

[The Beast]

After all have left at 0-dark-thirty the last player states: "I need a ride."

And then she needs somebody to take her home!

[Natasha]

"I have an IQ of 28...how come they don't listen to me...I'm a genius"

Story of my life!

Good one though.

[bigbobsr6000]

Problem with being really smart is there are no more surprises (unless you count Gomer Pyle or the Spanish Inquisition) you always know what is going to happen next.

Enjoy

[bigbobsr6000]

^^ That's right. "Pride preceedth a fall."

[Dog_O_War]

I hate to hear the following;

"so I made an awesome character" - and then nothing but stats and equipment are listed, with nothing about the actual character.

"I hate your logic to these situations. It makes too much sense. Can we go back to the broken way of doing things, back when I was way more powerful than everyone else?"

"Look at all these 20+ stats I rolled!" or "I swear I rolled this."

and the most vile "Are farts lumpy?"

Heh, well that last one only applies when stuff is feeling dramatic.

[Vrykolas2k]

"I just killed my dog and parents... how much x.p. are they worth?"

[Northern Ranger]

"I just killed my dog and parents... how much x.p. are they worth?"

[drewkitty ~..~]

"I just killed my dog and parents... how much x.p. are they worth?"

GM: "Lets see, you're a principled Cosmo Knight, so negitive 20,000, That makes you level -5. Also your powers are striped from you, and you are stuck on the poo-dunk back-water world you were born on. "

[bigbobsr6000]

I want to see your rolls. (says player)

[SkyeFyre]

Player:I rolled those! I swear
Me: Uh, huh. So why is it that on a roll of 5D6, the character's stat is 31?
Player: Oops, remember dude, I suck at math.

Now it wouldn't have that big of a deal... but when the stats for a Fire Dragon Hatchling look like this:

IQ: 25
MA: 25
ME: 25
PS: 31
PP: 25
PE: 31
PB: 31
SPD: 31
PPE: 900
MDC: 500

Each one a value higher than what is possible with that dice roll.

Me: Yeah... you REALLY suck at math. Reroll the whole thing.

[Vrykolas2k]

I want to see your rolls. (says player)

Doesn't bother me.
Then again, I always roll in plain view anyway.

[Vrykolas2k]

"Most of the spells in Rifts don't really work in real life. Nightbane's are better."

[Northern Ranger]

"There's no possible way you could have rolled well enough to make that work!"

[Vrykolas2k]

"Most of the spells in Rifts don't really work in real life. Nightbane's are better."

You don't like the sound of the super-soaker getting pumped up.
But I can't believe that twit said that.

Welcome to the forums, sweety.

[bigbobsr6000]

Newbie at 1st session: "I brought the black candles & where do you want the chicken?"

[Northern Ranger]

Newbie at 1st session: "I brought the black candles & where do you want the chicken?"

[Vrykolas2k]

"Most of the spells in Rifts don't really work in real life. Nightbane's are better."

You don't like the sound of the super-soaker getting pumped up.
But I can't believe that twit said that.

You see, this is why I get so paranoid about running an adventure. Not only are some gamers going to throw out the "you can't do that according to the rules" but some will even say "I taze him will I'm entangled and falling with him in mid-air so I don't get shocked." Is it fair to just kill off some characters due to stupidity?

Well, as long as you understand why they say things can't be done according to the rules...
Rules are there to help with consistency.
Consistency is a good thing.

[drewkitty ~..~]

"Most of the spells in Rifts don't really work in real life. Nightbane's are better."

You don't like the sound of the super-soaker getting pumped up.
But I can't believe that twit said that.

You see, this is why I get so paranoid about running an adventure. Not only are some gamers going to throw out the "you can't do that according to the rules" but some will even say "I taze him will I'm entangled and falling with him in mid-air so I don't get shocked." Is it fair to just kill off some characters due to stupidity?

Well, as long as you understand why they say things can't be done according to the rules...
Rules are there to help with consistency.
Consistency is a good thing.

I'll "Just say Yes" Then you have the group throw their cheatos at him for getting the Whole Group killed.
This can be reversed by GM Fiat if said player "Gets a Clue".

[bigbobsr6000]

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed."

[Natasha]

"So's your face."

[LostOne]

"Can we fast forward past all this boring plot crap and get to the next fight?"



He didn't last long with our group...the rest of the group deliberately avoided fights for the next five sessions. Once he realized what they were doing, he began trying to start fights. The group turned his character over to the local authorities.

[LostOne]

Hopefully you gave your group some cookies as a thank you.
You must have a great group.

Sadly that group is no more. That was the high school group. College caused us to scatter across the globe.

[Northern Ranger]

"Can I do this...?"
"Would he really do that?"
"That's not acting within that characters alignment."


Arrgh! Sometimes, with some players, you just want to #*%@!slap them!

[Natasha]

The Rules Lawyer Strikes Back.

[LostOne]

Had a player quit an online Splicers game I just started running (all people I've gamed with before, but some have not met each other being that I didn't know everyone at the same time and some have moved away).

His reasons? (paraphrased)

"...there's too much to read in the world primer you posted..."
It's less than 2 pages printed out, you lazy bastitch.

"...I'm too lazy to ask the GM questions about the world so I understand it better...I'd rather just post things that are incorrect for the setting and you allow it thereby letting me rewrite the setting as I see fit..."
He refused to accept the idea that host armor pilots strip naked before suiting up. It's in the primer.

"...too much plot not enough combat..."
huh???? You never complained about plot at the table, even when we went multiple nights without fights sometimes. The game is literally starting out, he's only posted twice (most people have posted about 5 times), and he's already expecting to be knee-deep in gritty battles against robots. They're still getting to know each other, getting their mission briefing, getting war mounts, etc. They haven't even stepped foot outside of the Great House's staging area yet.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
He flat-out doesn't respond to things in the game that are directed at his character. A superior officer asked him a question, he didn't answer it. He clearly isn't reading all the posts, if he's skimming them all, he's doing a crappy job of it.

Sadly, this player discovered World of Warcraft a couple months ago...guess I won't be seeing much of him again ever. He has a very addictive personality, he should have known better than to start playing WoW. One of the FF games came out and he threw away his college time (senior in college, one semester from graduating...flunked...out...because of a FF game)

Oh well, the game has improved greatly in the two days since he stepped down. One of the good players stepped up and is playing the dropped Roughneck PC now, in addition to his Technojacker.

Good gamer at the table, horrible online, possibly hampered by his WoW addiction.

[lostsoul336]

Me: Where is <insert Name>
Player: O' he called me and told me he couldnt make it again tonight
Me: Thats like 3 nights in a row.
Player Well he wanted me to ask if he could still get the experience for his character who was with the group.
Me: Tell him his character died...

[ReaperRob]

Niiiiiiiiice

[LostOne]

1. called shot to the head..EVERY TIME! (this one really burns me!)

That is my one gripe with games that allow called shots. This is usually the way it ends up going, 95% of shots against a humanoid is at the head. My solution? Occasionally throw something at the group where there is no head...no obvious sensory organs, etc. Or increase the penalties for headshots and make it a sharpshooting choice to have the book-penalty instead. Also, remember, that hyperion juicer sharpshooter can do headshots too...anything players can do, the NPCs (at least the important or dangerous) should be able to do.

3.player really wants to be,no insists,to be the only diabolic character in an principled game

My normal response, "You can pick an alignment that fits in the game, or go home and I'll call you next time we're rolling up characters for a new game. It might be months or years." But really, depending on the game, I may tell the players that evil (or good) alignments are not allowed during character creation, before anyone brings it up.

[Northern Ranger]

That's pretty good, actually.

[bigbobsr6000]

GM: I thought you couldn't make it.
Player: I'm fine..(COUGH!)....(SNEEZE!) [Spraying the air and all around him/her]. Really..(COUGH...COUGH...) [Blowing nose]... I can play, it's no problem...(SNEEZE...SNEEZE) [There's that mist again].

[bigbobsr6000]

Things you hate to hear as a GM?



'nuff said.

[LostOne]

Any time the party munchkin comes to the DM with "I have a new character idea. I found this really supercool OCC/RCC/PCC online..."

no

[Damian Magecraft]

this one can get very annoying....


But my last GM would...

[Natasha]

Things you hate to hear as a GM?



'nuff said.

I don't have to be GM to hate that

[LostOne]

When starting a new game:
"I have this character I love that I'd like to play in this game."
The player hands the character over.
"He's not level 1."
"Well yeah, I played him at college, he's awesome."

If, for some reason, I have a lapse in judgement brought on by alcohol, it inevitably turns out that the character has a greatest rune weapon or something else that grossly unbalances the game. Like a titan juicer in System Failure, or a soul drinking rune weapon in Nightbane, or 8-10 major superpowers, etc. Apparently this player plays with an uber-munchkin group at college...joy...it's starting to affect his play style in our group. He's getting bored with the politics and intrigue and only excited about fights these days.

[Natasha]

When starting a new game:
"I have this character I love that I'd like to play in this game."
The player hands the character over.
"He's not level 1."
"Well yeah, I played him at college, he's awesome."

That's awesome.

[LostOne]

That's awesome.

I just don't get that boy sometimes...new game, everyone's level 1, but he wants to bring in his level 6 whatever with tons of powerful even customized gear and abilities.

[Natasha]

That's awesome.

I just don't get that boy sometimes...new game, everyone's level 1, but he wants to bring in his level 6 whatever with tons of powerful even customized gear and abilities.

Hehe yea. He should reset this character and play him up again and see how it turns out. Sounds like fun to me.

[Natasha]

Let's play HALO.

Rough.