Welcome to Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane

[JuliusCreed]

"Ah...I see." and switching back into guild tongue, "A fragment of a good multiple dimensional being. In essences, you are many and in many places; but rarely out side of the shop. Cool. Like I said, I make it a point to know about the people of interests in my fiefdom. Shall I come back when you're not so busy? Say 10:00 at night, and I shall leave my guards behind." Again bows formally, and says in Elven, "Good day to you, Master Alchemist. I have several other places to go today. The farmers guild and the local branch of the Imperial Mages guild." Mutters, "My guards houses." "I shall bring the tea, or would you like something a tad stronger. Perhaps a good Elven Meed?"

The old man chuckles a bit at the mention of "a good multiple dimensional being", but nods with a smile as he stands from his rocking chair. "I am never too busy for anyone quite frankly, so anytime you see fit to come in, feel free to do so. And whatever you desire to bring for a drink is splendid, I have no personal preferences, though I must admit to a particular weakness for a well made cup of tea." His smile falters only slightly as a crash of broken glass is heard from the back followed by a small explosion and a rather dim-looking orc scurrying out from behind a curtained doorway looking slightly singed and very scared. "10 at night would be perfect... I'll see you then good sir..." With that he bows slightly and hurries to the back where plumes of green smoke seem to be starting to billow out, muttering something about needing to start locking the doors now.

[JuliusCreed]

Welcome back! Good to see you! Come in, come in, have a seat, take a load off. I know the adventuring life can be rough and you deserve a break. Yeah don't worry about that horde of zombies chasing you down out there, they couldn't get past that door if you gave them a 10-step plan and walked them through it. So how ya been, can I get for you? No wait... I know what you need...

The Fang: A magical knife favored by Rangers and people in the field in need of an emergency food supply. Forged in a kukri (sp.?) style, this weapon has a heavy curved blade sharpened on the concave side with a wider forward end to give it more striking power. The handle is wooden and carved for a comfortable fit when gripped either in forehand or backhand and ends in a heavy thorn style pommel as a counterbalance for the blade. It also performs remarkably well as a thrown weapon.
The power of this knife is simple. The wielder concentrates for 2 melee rounds with the weapon drawn. At the end of that time a random normal animal will appear. (75% chance of a game animal, 25% chance of a predator) The wielder then has the option of letting the beast go, or attacking. If he spares the animal it will linger for 2 melee rounds before peacefully wandering off. If he attacks, the beast will defend itself, but will be compelled to remain in the fight for up to 5 melee rounds. At the end of that time the animal will either flee (90% chance of this if a game animal, 50% for predators) or it will remain to fight to the death. An animal that flees at the end of the allotted time may of course be pursued.
In normal combat The Fang is a very high quality weapon doing 2d6 damage and granting the wielder a +1 to Strike, +1 to Strike when Thrown and +3 to Parry. In combat against whatever it summons it does 5d6 damage and grants a +3 to Initiative as well as the above bonuses with an additional +1. Please note that only "normal" animals are summoned, ie deer, elk, bears, tigers, etc. Supernatural creatures, monsters and humanoids are not summoned. Cost: 10,000 gold

Demon Flail: A Ball and Chain type weapon, usually a Flail, Mace and Chain or Goupillon Flail, with parts made of bones... Demon bones to be precise. The handle usually consists of an arm or leg bone of some kind while the head is usually just that, a head (well, skull actually, but you get the idea) Metal pieces consist of the chain as well as a few extra spikes hammered through the skull for extra weight and damage. These weapons are Indestructible (have to be, they're made of bone!) and can turn their wielder Fire resistant as per the standard enchantments. They may also become a powerful Flaming Ball and Chain upon command that does 6d6 damage and may spit a Fireball once per melee when so activated. May be activated up to 3 times per day and will remain so for 10 melees. When not activated, these items do normal damage for their type. When wielded these weapons also have a Horror Factor of 10 (14 when Flaming) unless they are crafted as Nunchaku. Then the HF does not apply (they just look like nunchaku rather than a demonic weapon <shrug>) Cost: 80,000+ gold often 200%-500% more depending on the size of the weapon (Demon Bones are damned expensive!) If a character were to bring in his own Demon bones to fashion into one of these (hint, hint for all you greedy little weapon grubbers out there ) one of these could be made for about 75,000 gold (covers enchantment cost plus a little extra for expenses ) And yes, Deevil bones work for making one of these little beauties as well, but they can NOT be combined with Demon bones.

Medusa Shield: A large iron shield specially sculpted with the head of a Gorgon on its face. As is the shield has a Horror Factor of 12 to all who look at it. When it's activated by the wielder, the Gorgon head becomes animated with the snakes writhing around and snapping at opponents nearby, the mouth of the Gorgon hissing and openning in a silent scream, as the eyes start to glow with an eerie yellow light. All of this is actually completely harmless, but the whole show boosts the shield's Horror factor to 16! Victims failing the Save will suffer the usual penalties for Horror Factor (loses initiative and 1 attack) and suffer an additional -3 to Strike Parry and Dodge as they instinctively try to avert their gaze from the shield. After the first melee the victim regains their compusure and may fight normally, but with a -1 to Strike Parry and Dodge against the wielder. (still a bit distracted/jumpy about that Gorgon head) The shield may be activated up to 4 times per day for a duration of 10 melees. Cost: 25,000+ gold Special Note: There are rumors that there is a Medusa Shield that works the same way as this one, but actually Petrifies whoever looks at it! The price of such an item would be immense, but then, it IS just a rumor

Master Lockpicks: A damned expensive thing to get, but these are a real godsend to Thieves everywhere. A normal set of lockpicks usually has about 8 to 32 different pieces, including a Tension bar, Extractors and a variety of different Picks. This set only has 2 pieces; A tension Bar and a single Pick. When using them to open a lock the Pick itself actually transforms into the proper pick needed for whatever lock you encounter! This adds a +25% bonus to the Pick Locks skill. On top of that, both pieces of the set are Indestructible, so they will never break, even if the skill roll fails! The only drawback, other than the cost for the set, is that it takes twice as long to open the lock as the Pick changes to suit the lock it is being used on. (a real problem if pressed for time) Cost:75,000 gold for the set

Luck Blade: A weapon enchantment that can actually be placed on any weapon (not just Blades, the name comes from the old D&D item) the weapon has a nasty knack for just getting that lucky strike. Every time the wielder rolls to strike he also rolls a percentile. If the percentile comes up at 33% or less damage from the weapon is doubled as though it were a Critical Strike! If an actual Critical Strike is rolled with a successful Luck Blade roll damage is instead TRIPLED! This enchantment does NOT work in conjunction with a Death Blow. (see Assassin's Blade enchantment below for that) Cost: 50,000 gold

Assassin's Blade: A deadly weapon enchantment, any roll of a natural 20 with this weapon does double damage direct to Hit Points as though it were a Death Blow. If the wielder actually has the Death Blow maneuver, a Natural 20 will do TRIPLE damage direct to Hit Points (if the Death Blow stipulations indicate one is performed on anything other than a Natural 20, like a 19-20 for instance, anything other than the Natural 20 is a regular Death blow) Cost: 75,000 gold

Well, that should just about do it. If there's anything else I can get for you, let me know. I'm sure I can find something you need.

Thanks for coming by! Come again soon!

[JuliusCreed]

The Undead Hunter returns with the Orc that was with the Elven warrior fallowing him.

"Uncle Remus, I have retrived the information you requested! Her name is Lithe'anial'itarmos Groomen'tharth, though she said most just call her Lithe. She is a Pallidin of Ruga, and says that her home is where ever her Goddess takes her. Her passions are; 'Faith, battle and a good challenge'. I hope this will satisfy your request. Also do you know of anyone who needs an Orc companion?"

he looks hopelessly at the Orc as he nearly knock something off one of the shelves. The Hunter sighs and rolls his eyes.

A small explosion is heard somewhere in the back as you enter the shop followed by a litany of creative euphisms in at least a dozen different languages, most of them involving what somethings mother can go and do with Belphegor of the Sulphur Pits. A moment later, Uncle Remus comes out with a pleasant smile on his soot smudged face, a tiny little fire burning on his sleeve.
"Glad to see you! And thank you so much for the information. It will help immensely in a couple of my more.... creative... ventures. Now, here's all of the items you ordered and for getting that little tidbit for me I figure you've earned a decent discout... say about.... 75%. You were pretty quick in retrieving the info for me. Thanks again for that. As for the orc..." he eyes the rather simple looking guy with a dubious eye, "I suppose I can keep him here for a bit. I could maybe use him as a sweeping boy or deliveries or something." He winces a bit as a bottle the Orc is inspecting teeters then falls from a shelf, stopping a mere inch from the floor before floating back up to its place before the creature's bewildered eyes. "Okay, maybe not sweeping, but I'm certain I can find something for him here. One last thing before you go. Do you happen to know where this Palladin of Rurga is currently located? I have something I'd like to give her. I can make it woth your while, of course." He gets a grin that borders somewhere between mischeviously wicked and downright devious.

If you would like uncle Remus, I could deliver this item for you, and tell lady Lithe it is a gift from you. And might I ask Uncle Remus, out of curiosity, what has given you shuch an interest in this elf?

Uncle Remus just grins that wicked little grin with a gleam in his eye. "My boy, I may be old, but I ain't dead. My interest in her is... shall we say, almost purely physical if you know what I mean... and no I won't need you to deliver anything for me, I've troubled you enough. Again, thank you very much for all you have done for me."

[JuliusCreed]

Hello everyone! It's been a long time coming, but the latest shipment is in. Here is is, folks, the latest batch of Whoop-Ass!!

First a refresher of all the kinds available so far;

Red: Opponents will suddenly find any cloaks, capes, robes or other loose flowing clothing has been turned a bright red. Not too much of a problem until they see the herd of 30 rampaging bulls charging directly at them. Trampling damage is 1d6x10 per melee round for 2 rounds and victims lose all attacks and combat bonuses as they are mercilessly pounded into the ground. No saving throw, but victims are allowed ONE dodge at 17 or better. Cost: 1000 gold
Gold: Summons a Deevil Serpent (PFRPG pg 332) under the control of the openner. It will remain until all enemies have been defeated or for 10 melee rounds, whichever happens first. Cost: 1500 gold
Blue: All opponents within 50 feet of the openner save vs. Magic or suffer the effects of a Ward of Despair (PFRPG pg 128). Duration is equal to 6th level. Cost: 700 gold
Orange: Summons a Lesser Fire Elemental to do the openner's bidding. will remain for 10 melees or until all opponents are slain/defeated. Cost: 1200 gold
Black: All opponents within 50 feet of the openner save vs. Magic or suffer the effects of a Ward of Death (PFRPG pg 128). Duration and damage are equal to 6th level. Cost: 1000 gold
Yellow: Opponents suddenly hear a loud horn blaring off to the side a moment before a runaway School Bus runs them down. Damage is a whopping 2d6x10 and victims may try and dodge at 16 or better. (Damage is based on Car Combat rules for Vehicle Damage found in N&S pg 137 using a 10 or 16 wheeler Semi-Truck travelling at 100mph) Cost: 1200 gold
Green: This stuff creates a sickly green cloud of foul-smelling fumes, similar to a Miasma when it comes to effects (PFRPG pg 222), but with the added effect of being poisonous, dealing 1d6 damage per melee round to everyone caught within it. Duration is 6 minutes. Cost: 700 gold
Silver: When dumped on the ground this silvery liquid pools like mercury rather than splashing around, coalescing into a roughly humanoid shape, slowly taking on finer and finer details until, at the end of 1 melee round the thing looks like an exact copy of the thrower. It then opens its eyes to turn and look at the thrower, saying "Get... out" before turning back and attacking, its hands and arms lengthening and sharpening into sword-like appendages as it goes. The thing has an AR of 16, 200 SDC and regenerates from damage at a rate of 1d6x10 SDC per melee. It has 4 attacks, +4 to strike, +7 to parry/dodge and +10 damage. Attacks are made with the appendages in sword or spike form, doing anywhere from 1d6 (dagger hand or short sword hand and partial forearm) to 4d6 damage (polearm type weapon using both hands and arms or a very large sword) per attack, depending on exactly what kind of shape it uses. It is impervious to nearly all forms of magic and psionics. The only magic or psionic attacks that work are the ones that do real physical damage (ie Fireball, Psi-Sword, TK Punch, Call Lightning, etc) Also impervious to poisons, gases, and fumes. It feels no pain. It feels no fear. And it absolutely will not stop. At least not until it's destroyed or the duration of 10 melees runs out. Then it just melts away to nothing. Anyone watching it melt away will see it give a thumb's up as the last of its body vanishes. Cost: 1500 gold
Grey: Causes the ground to heave and churn, exploding upward with a lesser Earth Elemental under the command of the user. It will remain on this plane for 10 melees. Cost: 1200 gold
Brown: Turns all opponent weapons into snakes, as per the Swords to Snakes wizard spell (PFRPG pg 208). The only difference is these snakes are tougher (AR 10 HP 35), hurt more (3 attacks/melee doing 1d8 dmg), and they're poisonous (Save vs non-lethal poison or take an additional 2d6 poison damage). And I do mean ALL opponent weapons are transformed, even the ones that are still sheathed/not being used. Transformation lasts for 10 melees. Cost: 1200 gold
Pink: A squad of, ahem... shall we say "attractive"... young girls wearing tight sweaters, short skirts and athletic shoes holding pom-poms come out to cheer for the user and his party. Any males among the opponenets must save vs magic at -5 or suffer the effects of Mesmerism (PFRPG pg 222) for the duration the girls are cheering. Females of any race also save, but with no penalty. If they fail to save, they will join the girls in the cheering. Duration is 10 melees. Cost: 1000 gold

And now, the new stuff;

Indigo: Bubbles and froths on the ground a moment before a gang of clowns burst from the pool and "attack" the opponents with an outrageous array of pratfalls and shenanigans, everything from kneeling behind an opponent while another pushes him back to trip him up, to seltzer water and cream pies to the face. All of these "attacks" are relatively harmless, though some minor damage could result from falls, meant to cause confusion and disorientation. (not to mention a few laughs on the part of the user and his party) The total number of clowns summoned varies, usually outnumbering the user's opponents 3 to 1 to a maximum of 30. They are all considered AR 13 with 30 HP and 30 SDC each and a total of 3 actions per melee each with a +5 to strike (including with thrown items) and +7 to Dodge. They will remain for a total of 10 melees before they suddenly vanish with a big puff of smoke. Cost: 1500 gold
Lavender: With a quiet bang, a puff of smoke and a shower of golden glittery sparks, the user's opponents are turned into butterflies! All of them retain their original AR, SDC and HP before they were transfomed, so attempting to kill them could prove to be difficult, especially since their going to be a lot harder to hit. (Essentially, they gain a +5 to Dodge attacks) However, the biggest problem is that the transformation only lasts for 2 melees. Better to just make a timely getaway, perhaps? Cost: 2000 gold
Cream: Basically an off-white color, when activated it summons a Lesser Air Elemental that takes on the form of a small tornado. It is under the user's command and will remain for 10 melees. Cost: 1200 gold
Teal: A pleasant buish green color, the moment it touches the ground it seems to boil violently before exploding upward in a geyser as it summons forth a Minor Water Elemental. It follows the thrower's commands and remains for 10 melees. Cost: 1200 gold
Clear: The only Can of Whoop-Ass with NO color (looks like purified water) When activated all of the opponents within 20 feet must save vs Magic at a -3. Those that make their save are unaffected. Those failing mysteriously vanish! No one knows exactly what happens to those that fail to save against this stuff, whether they are killed or magically teleported away to a faraway place or even a different dimension or what. All that is known is that they are just... gone. (GM's are encouraged to have a lot of fun with this stuff, especially if it gets used against your players. Play up all kinds of rumors about the results of this stuff, especially ones that have dire consequences. Honestly, I leave it totally in all of your capable hands ) Cost: 10,000+ gold and also extremely rare, even for Uncle Remus

That's all for now folks! Glad you could make it by. And make Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane your first stop for all your magical holiday needs!
Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

(On an editting note, I'd been wondering why the Silver Whoop-Ass had been so popular and finally discovered the reason. [initially thought there were a lot of Terminator fans out there ] The 5 minute duration has been appropriately editted to its original intention of 5 melees. Sorry if this seriously disappoints or angers anyone, but I'm trying to keep all of my items as balanced as possible. In the spirit of that I have also changed the duration a bit further to a full 10 melee rounds to keep it on par with the types that summon Minor Elementals. Thank you all for your continued support and patronage! )

[JuliusCreed]

Greetings! Sorry about the mess, but I've been rather busy in the lab coming up with the latest items of chaos, destruction and all around wierdness. Here's a couple things I've managed to put together;

Gauntlets of Thunder: This item is particularly favored by Pit Fighters, Warrior Monks and others that favor "empty hand" techniques. As the name implies, these are gauntlets imbued with a standard Thunder Hammer enchantment. In combat they will inflict 2d6 damage with a punch and, of course, let loose with a clap of thunder when they strike. However, thanks to my newest assisstant (the rather dim-witted Orc left to me by one of my loyal customers ) a rather interesting side effect has been discovered about them. If a pair of them are worn and the wearer forcefully claps his hands together a powerful Sonic Wave is unleashed! This attack affects everything within a 20 foot radius of the wearer, friend and foe alike, causing 2d6 damage and has a 70% chance of knocking down everyone within the area of effect as well as temporarily deafening anyone without proper ear protection. Total penalties inflicted include the loss of Initiative and 1 attack from being knocked down, a -3 to Strike, Parry and Dodge and a -6 to Parry or Dodge attacks from behind from the deafness. Duration of the deafness is 1d6 melees. Cost: 40,000 each or sold in a pair for 75,000 gold

Speed Loader: A weapon enchantment unique to bows and cross bows. Once the weapon fires it automatically redraws with a fresh arrow/bolt nocked/loaded and ready to fire. If the firer does not have another arrow or bolt available, the enchantment will not function. Adds a +3 to the Rate of Fire per melee round. Cost: 15,000 gold

Flame Shot: Another enchantment for bows and crossbows, when activated the arrows or bolts fired from the weapon become flaming arrow, doing 4d6 damage with a successful strike. Duration of the enchantment is 5 melees and may be activated up to 3 times per 24 hour period. The weapon does NOT provide ammo for the Flame Shot (that's the Spits Fireballs enchantment) and arrows used with this enchantment are usually destroyed.(75% chance) Cost: 37,000 gold

Lightning Shot: Essentially identical to Flame Shot above, except the arrow becomes a small Lightning Bolt doing 4d6+5 damage. All other aspects (duration, limitations etc.) are the same. Cost: 47,000 gold Special Note: The Cyclops are rather miffed about this particular enchantment.

Light Shot: Like the Flame and Lightning Shot enchantments above, but the arrow transforms into a beam of true Daylight. Damage is 1 die higher than the type of arrow fired (3d6 for longbow, 2d6 for short, 2d8 for crossbow) and does double damage to the Undead. Arrows fired using this enchantment are destroyed. All other aspects are identical to the above enchantments. Cost: 45,000 gold

That's all for now! But, as you all know, more is on the way!

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[JuliusCreed]

Stone walks through the door, he is dressed in studded leather armed with a bamboo wipe staff, daggers, and blow gun. "howdy uncle remus i have learned how to combat undead and track my pray no matter where they are." A crash comes from the back and very sad, confussed orc comes out with purple skin, still smoking. Hmm i think i can give the orc a home and decent pay. I will train him to be an assistant, and give him friendship the way you did." I was wondering if you have a net that can put those captured to sleep or say walk in dreamless sleep. How about a jelly like substance that can be fired from dart that will release a toxin like substance in fire simulate bad cramps and gas. And the tent can it be made into a single person suit, with attached bags so when my target comes for water he will drink a slow released sedative that will put him to sleep..

The old man gets a broad smile as you enter, a certain hint of pride gleaming in his eyes as he looks you over. "My you've certainly come up since I last saw you. Congratulations on your success so far. May it continue far down the road you are about to travel. As for your requests, I think I can find you something here."

Dream Catcher: A large roughly man-sized net made from a surprisingly lightweight gold colored fiber of unknown origin. When thrown over a victim, they immediately fall into a deep, magical slumber unless a successful save vs magic is made. While entangled in the net the victim may try to escape. However, every escape attempt forces an additional save vs magic with a cumulative -1 penalty. Failing any of the saves results in the victim falling asleep. The magical sleep lasts for 6 hours, after which the victim awakens normally. Cost: 8500 gold

Bumblebees: A large dart weapon, particularly thick around the center area, about 6-8 inches long and about as big around as an average cigar. The dart is actually hollow with a sharp injection tube for a tip. Essentially, it is a hand thrown Tranquilizer Dart. Damage from this little gem is 1d4 plus the effects of whatever drugs or poisons it may be loaded with. While the weapon is not magical in and of itself, it may be enchanted with any standard applicable weapon enchantment. Cost: 5 gold each

"Now the last thing your asking has me a little confused..." he eyes you cautiously, like a person would look at someone to ascertain whether or not they're drunk. "You say you want 'a tent that can be made into a single person suit'? So basically a tent that turns into a suit of clothes... But then, you want the suit 'with attached bags so when your target comes for water, he'll drink a slow released sedative...'? A slow released sedative I can do easilly enough, Ive got loads of the stuff... but just clarify what you're really asking for here... a tent that turns into a suit with attached bags? Am I right on this or am I totally misunderstanding you?"

[JuliusCreed]

stone smiles in grim yet happy way."yes, Essentially my one person tent can sleep or allow me with a tug of cord turn into a snug suit." " and if possible i need a dowsing rod that can store ink and blank map that when the rod/pen is applied will show the nearest water sources for add leat 2 miles in any direction."
Stone laughs heartily and points to the orc who now stands proudly in his half chain mail sporting a crossbow"oh and if possible some boots of stealth and gloves of dexterity." He leans over and whispers" he is tuff and and willing, but he is clumsier than a drunk ox." Stone claps SAM the orc on the back in a friendly manner.

The old man considers a moment before noddin with a grin. "I think I have just the thing for you then. Try this on for size..."

Shelter Cloak: An ordinary cloak with odd symols sewn into the material with black thread. Upon command the cloak expands into a 2-man tent. In all respects the tent is normal, but may be further enchanted as an Environmental Tent or even a Hunting Tent (described in a previous post) repeating the command reverts it back to its cloak form. Also comes in a 4-man and 8-man version. Any damage sustained by this item is reflected in both forms. Base cost: 10,000 gold for a 2-man, 15,000 for a 4-man, 20,000 for an 8-man. Environmental Tent or Hunting Tent abilities cost an additional 15,000 gold each

Dowsing Maps: A rather unique item closely related to the Mystic Maps and operate on the same principle. However, rather than rubbing a bit of dirt into the parchment to get a map of the area, one poust a bit of water on the parchment to get a general layout of the sources of water within its area of effect. The type of water used, salt water or fresh, is irrelevant. All sources of water will be revealed, be it rivers, lakes, streams, oceans and even underground sources, although underground sources show up rather faded and dim on the map unless a surface well is present. Maximum range of the map is a 1 mile radius. Unfortunately, the map also suffers from the same drawback as the Mystic Maps, slowly becoming rather unreliable with repeated use. After 3 seperate activations the map has a cumulative 10% chance per activation of producing an flawed and inaccurate map. Cost: 2000 gold Note: These items can cost as much as 10 to 20 times more in particular areas (people in the Baal-Gor Wastelands would probably give anything for one of these)

That should do it for you. The idea for the cloak seems a bit smarter than a set of clothes, to me... clothes are worn under your armor after all. Can you see yourself activating it with your armor on? Could get pretty embarrassing. As for the Orc I will say take good care of him. He's clumsy and uncoordinated and dumber than a box of rocks, but I'm sure with the right mentor he could do great things." The old man smiles as he leans in a bit closer. "And good luck with getting him to respond to the name Sam. He's pretty used to being called 'Lunkhead'."

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[JuliusCreed]

It has been quite a while since I restocked the shelves here folks and for that I apologize. My only defense is the fact that the holidays are firmly upon us and the season keeps us all quite busy. However, I do try and keep fresh items rolling in as often as possible and today I actually have a few new things for you to look over. Take a look at these;

Paper Weapons: An odd little item, closely related to Transformable Weapons, and of immense value to Thieves, Assassins and Spies as well as Mages and Priests! Its initial appearance is that of a standard sheet of paper with a detailed picture of a weapon of some sort.Upon uttering the command word "alltaykit" the paper transforms into the pictured weapon. The item remains in this form for a maximum of 1 hour before reverting back to its original paper form, however it will be blank and useless. (except as a normal piece of paper) These items are sold singly or in books of 25, 50, or 100! The weapons produced by this item all do normal damage for their particular type and do not have any particular enchantments, but are still considered magical for the purposes of affecting creatures that can only be hurt with magic. Base cost: 1000 gold each. Books of these may be bought at a cost of 20,000 for 25, 40,000 for 50 or 75,000 for 100. If a book is bought, the chosen page must be torn out and held to be activated. Players may choose exactly what kinds of weapons are pictured in the books or they may buy a book of random weapons. Bows and crossbows may also be pictured and will come with a supply of 24 arrows or bolts.

Mystic Paint/Ink: Comes in a 1 pint jar this stuff appears to be a thick clear liquid while in its container. The user speaks the command word "dyit" followed by a color of choice. While the substance remains clear in the jar after the command is spoken, when it is applied to a surface it will appear in the chosen color. Great for Summoners, Diabolists and anyone with an artistic streak. The color of the Mystic Paint/Ink may be changed by repeating the command and choosing a new color. Mystic Paint/Ink that has already been applied will NOT change color. Cost: 1500 gold per 1 pint jar.

Bone of Lies: An item particularly popular with Thieves, Spies and other Evil folks, this item appears to be a normal bone, usually an arm or leg bone. It is activated when the user tells a lie while the item is in his possession. (not neccessarily held) Whoever the user is lying to must roll a save of 15 or higher. (ME bonuses vs Psionics apply at 1/2 rounded down) Making the save means no effect. Failure results in the lie being believed by the victim, regardless of how outrageous it may be! Regardless of success or failure, the bone darkens a bit with each lie told until finally turning completely black after 13 uses, after which it becomes useless. When the bone reaches this point, the user MUST dispose of the bone by first immersing it in holy water and then burning it down to ash. (the process of burning it down requires about 3 hours in a standard campfire, roughly an hour in a forge, pretty much instant if thrown in a volcano) If this process is not done right away, the user will suffer from the Curses of Dislike and Misunderstanding within 12 hours. The Curses will remain until the Bone is properly disposed of by the user AND 2 successful Remove Curse incantations are performed. Cost: 50,000+ gold Note: The Bones and Blood of Greater Deevils are required to make this particular item, hence its high price.

Serpent Whip: An enchanted bullwhip, it has two particularly nasty effects in combat. 1> When used in standard snapping strikes, the whip does 2d6 damage and victims save vs Lethal Poison or take an additional 2d6 damage per melee for 1d6 melees. 2> If used to Entangle, the whip will Constrict the victim doing 2d6 damage per melee until they break free or are released by the wielder. Effective PS of the whip for victims trying to break free is 25. Cost: 12,000 gold

Thaks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[JuliusCreed]

A strange demonic little creature greets you as you enter, flitting up to within inches of your face on tiny little bat wings bearing as warm a smile as it possibly can with its mouth of tiny needle teeth. It speaks in a low rolling bass, its voice reminiscent of thunder rolling in the distance.
"Greetings! Welcome to Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane! I regret to inform you that Uncle Remus is going to be unavailable for some time as he and Auntie Remus have decided to go on a long awaited holiday vacation. However, business will continue here at the shop as usual. If there is anything you require let me know and I will be happy to accomodate. My name... is Bubbles."
With that, the tiny little demon/faerie gives another disturbing smile and flies off to parts unknown.

[pblackcrow]

At 10:00, there is a rustling of leaves and then there is a loud flapping noise, As if some one large bird was landing, at the shop door.and a voice say "from this from into a crystal go ye now." in an ancient elven language. And in walks the elf with out a crown, in a cloak of blue and white, with matching clothes and a boots, holding a tea pot comes in the lift and a crystal in his right. "Hello again master alchemist. I hope you like cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, and ginger in your tea." Will bow, informally, but considering he has a tea pot, it is very formal. He will ask "Do you have the time to study something and perhaps reproducer this. It was found by a knight of mine. Uh, it has a gryphon inside. I think my people called them beast crystals. Anyway, if you are ready to talk; lets talk."

[JuliusCreed]

At 10:00, there is a rustling of leaves and then there is a loud flapping noise, As if some one large bird was landing, at the shop door.and a voice say "from this from into a crystal go ye now." in an ancient elven language. And in walks the elf with out a crown, in a cloak of blue and white, with matching clothes and a boots, holding a tea pot comes in the lift and a crystal in his right. "Hello again master alchemist. I hope you like cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, and ginger in your tea." Will bow, informally, but considering he has a tea pot, it is very formal. He will ask "Do you have the time to study something and perhaps reproducer this. It was found by a knight of mine. Uh, it has a gryphon inside. I think my people called them beast crystals. Anyway, if you are ready to talk; lets talk."

The old man walks in from the back wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt at least 2 sizes too big, knee-length denim cut-offs and a pair of brown leather sandals all topped of with a ragged straw hat and a flower lei dangling from his neck. He carries an oddly shaped glass that smells distinctly of alcohol and exotic fruits topped with a tiny paper umbrella in one hand and a surfboard tucked under his other arm. With a beaming grin and a delighted twinkle in his bespectacled eyes he waves you in with the hand bearing the drink. "Aloha, brah!! Howzit! Glad you could stop by! Care for a Mai Tai?" He then notes the crystal in your hand and the glass vanishes from his hand, replaced with the crystal, his eyes twinkling with curiosity as he inspects it closely, a jeweller's loupe appearing over his glasses.
"Ahhhhhh... This is an interesting piece. Pretty rare nowadays. They don't make them like this anymore. Yes, it can be recreated. Takes a bit of doing, though because, you see, it actually does contain a living creature in there. The crystal acts as a sort of extra-dimensional stasis field that keeps the critter alive and well until it's called forth. The actual magic part of it is really the crystal, though. You see, while this currently contains a griffin, the crystal can actually be used to contain any creature you desire. Say, for example, you wanted a pegasus in there instead. Just let the griffin out and go through the proper rituals to set it to contain said pegasus. Then, boom... a pegasus is the creature contained. The proper ritual, however is the trick. You need a drop or two of the chosen creature's blood placed on the crystal to set it for the creature you want to contain. And then, that particular beast will be the one that gets held in stasis. They were created a long time ago for the more noble knights and palladins of the Elven kingdoms as a way to keep their chosen mounts safe while they were engaged in otherwise hazardous activity that they couldn't go charging into on horseback, like into Dwarven cities during the Great War and such. Rather handy little trinkets, I must say. Saved a lot of horses, they did. They do tend to be a bit on the fragile side, though. A couple solid whacks from a hammer was usually enough to shatter them, so many of their owners had additional enchantments placed on them to make them more resilient. However, if one were to be destroyed, the mount within was destroyed also as the extra-dimensional space they were contained in basically collapsed in on them. Only living creatures could be contained in these devices though, so no trying to catch a Yema with one. Also, they have a side application.... a bounty hunter could use them to safely transport their quarry as well. Just catch them, draw a bit of blood, get it on the crystal and bang... instant, inescapable prison. Assassins and Thieves can also make good use of these little gems with a bit of creative thinking. For that matter, I'm betting anyone can come up with a good application for them."
The old man gets a wicked gleam in his eye at the last and settles into his rocking chair by the hearth as a fire springs to life within it, another chair galloping up across from him as his clothes fade away to be replaced by his usual garb of rather worn looking work clothes. He motions for you to sit as the crystal vanishes from his hand to reappear in yours again. "That is a lovely smelling tea my good man. Shall we have a sit and chat for a while?"

[ingexthefuryhunter1]

As the shop door, swings open a reveries dwarf walks in holding a double bladed axe at the ready " By Odin's beard it is a shop, in a cave? And by the looks of it a fairly well stocked one, I wonder if they may carry a repair kit for arms and armor that doesn't run out as quickly or possibly a portable cart and mount so that we may be able to move more of that haul from the treasure chamber.

[pblackcrow]

At 10:00, there is a rustling of leaves and then there is a loud flapping noise, As if some one large bird was landing, at the shop door.and a voice say "from this from into a crystal go ye now." in an ancient elven language. And in walks the elf with out a crown, in a cloak of blue and white, with matching clothes and a boots, holding a tea pot comes in the lift and a crystal in his right. "Hello again master alchemist. I hope you like cinnamon, nutmeg, clove, and ginger in your tea." Will bow, informally, but considering he has a tea pot, it is very formal. He will ask "Do you have the time to study something and perhaps reproducer this. It was found by a knight of mine. Uh, it has a gryphon inside. I think my people called them beast crystals. Anyway, if you are ready to talk; lets talk."

The old man walks in from the back wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt at least 2 sizes too big, knee-length denim cut-offs and a pair of brown leather sandals all topped of with a ragged straw hat and a flower lei dangling from his neck. He carries an oddly shaped glass that smells distinctly of alcohol and exotic fruits topped with a tiny paper umbrella in one hand and a surfboard tucked under his other arm. With a beaming grin and a delighted twinkle in his bespectacled eyes he waves you in with the hand bearing the drink. "Aloha, brah!! Howzit! Glad you could stop by! Care for a Mai Tai?" He then notes the crystal in your hand and the glass vanishes from his hand, replaced with the crystal, his eyes twinkling with curiosity as he inspects it closely, a jeweller's loupe appearing over his glasses.
"Ahhhhhh... This is an interesting piece. Pretty rare nowadays. They don't make them like this anymore. Yes, it can be recreated. Takes a bit of doing, though because, you see, it actually does contain a living creature in there. The crystal acts as a sort of extra-dimensional stasis field that keeps the critter alive and well until it's called forth. The actual magic part of it is really the crystal, though. You see, while this currently contains a griffin, the crystal can actually be used to contain any creature you desire. Say, for example, you wanted a pegasus in there instead. Just let the griffin out and go through the proper rituals to set it to contain said pegasus. Then, boom... a pegasus is the creature contained. The proper ritual, however is the trick. You need a drop or two of the chosen creature's blood placed on the crystal to set it for the creature you want to contain. And then, that particular beast will be the one that gets held in stasis. They were created a long time ago for the more noble knights and palladins of the Elven kingdoms as a way to keep their chosen mounts safe while they were engaged in otherwise hazardous activity that they couldn't go charging into on horseback, like into Dwarven cities during the Great War and such. Rather handy little trinkets, I must say. Saved a lot of horses, they did. They do tend to be a bit on the fragile side, though. A couple solid whacks from a hammer was usually enough to shatter them, so many of their owners had additional enchantments placed on them to make them more resilient. However, if one were to be destroyed, the mount within was destroyed also as the extra-dimensional space they were contained in basically collapsed in on them. Only living creatures could be contained in these devices though, so no trying to catch a Yema with one. Also, they have a side application.... a bounty hunter could use them to safely transport their quarry as well. Just catch them, draw a bit of blood, get it on the crystal and bang... instant, inescapable prison. Assassins and Thieves can also make good use of these little gems with a bit of creative thinking. For that matter, I'm betting anyone can come up with a good application for them."
The old man gets a wicked gleam in his eye at the last and settles into his rocking chair by the hearth as a fire springs to life within it, another chair galloping up across from him as his clothes fade away to be replaced by his usual garb of rather worn looking work clothes. He motions for you to sit as the crystal vanishes from his hand to reappear in yours again. "That is a lovely smelling tea my good man. Shall we have a sit and chat for a while?"

"I see, and could you make say...10 of them?" "Oh, yes; please...let's." sitting down. "What can you tell me that will get me OUT OF THAT BLASTED KEEP FOR AWHILE. And uh...what, in Thoth's name, is a 'my-tie'?"

[JuliusCreed]

As the shop door, swings open a reveries dwarf walks in holding a double bladed axe at the ready " By Odin's beard it is a shop, in a cave? And by the looks of it a fairly well stocked one, I wonder if they may carry a repair kit for arms and armor that doesn't run out as quickly or possibly a portable cart and mount so that we may be able to move more of that haul from the treasure chamber.

The old man beams with pride as the dwarf enters. "Aye friend dwarf, I keep the most well stocked shop anywhere in the world. And I do mean anywhere. As for what you're looking for, try these out and see if they help you any..."

Magic Patches: Similar in function to Magic Bandages (PFRPG pg 258) these small square pieces of metal or leather measure 6 inches to a side and will adhere to and repair any armor of like kind, forming a functional, though rather unsightly, patch. Leather patches restore up to 20 SDC to any leather armor, including Studded Leather. Metal patches restore up to 40 SDC to any Heavy Armor, including Chain and Double Mail. Magic SDC cannot be repaired by these patches and they will not repair any armor beyond its NORMAL SDC limit. Cost: 100 gold for Leather, 150 gold for Metal

Honing Oil: Actually made to be used in conjunction with the Magic Sharpening Stone mentioned in an earlier post. It may also be used alone though with less spectacular results. When used with the Magic Sharpening Stone, the bonuses granted from the Stone will remain for 1 week rather than the stated 24 hours. The stone's limitations are unchanged (still only good for 12 uses) If used by itself, the Oil imbues the weapon being sharpened with a +1 to damage for 24 hours. Bonuses fade after the alotted time whether the weapon is used or not. Cost: 1200 gold per ounce. 1 ounce is good for 3 uses.

Sewing Needles: Similar to a Quill of Literacy in function, these needles, when properly threaded and stuck into the fabric to be sewn, will do the sewing for you when the command word "stitchum" is uttered. They may be used to make repairs or pattern tailoring and operate with a 90% Tailor skill proficiency. They will stop working when the command word "cuttit" is spoken or when they run out of thread, so pay attention to them or you may find the cuffs of your pants sewn shut. They also come in a thicker, heavier version for use on leather items. Cost:100 gold (light), 150 gold (heavy)

Duct Tape: If it can't be fixed with this, it's really broke! Comes in 50 yard rolls. 1 yard is 1 use and has literally hundreds of applications.
1 yard: Repairs small rips and tears in fabric such as clothes, tents and sails. Restores 10 SDC to light armor or 5 SDC to heavy armor. Repairs 1 small weapon (up to 2 feet long or extremely light such as arrows, knives, throwing axes and some short swords). Mends rope or can be used to lightly bind someone as a rope (10 SDC to break)
2 yards: Repairs medium rips and tears in fabric. Restores 20 SDC to light armor or 10 SDC to heavy armor. Repairs 1 medium weapon (up to 5 feet long such as most swords, axes, blunt or ball and chain, short bows and crossbows). Mends light chains or can be used to bind someone (20 SDC to break)
3 yards: Repairs large rips holes and tears in fabric. Restores up to 30 SDC in light armor or 15 SDC in heavy armor. Repairs 1 large weapon (longer than 5 feet such as most spears, staves and pole arms and long bows). Mends heavy chains or can be used to securely bind someone (30 SDC to break).
Anything repaired with Duct Tape can be repaired normally afterward, but will take twice as long to fix and cost 50% more Tough to remove this stuff) Cost: 10,000 gold per 50 yard roll

As for a "portable horse and cart".... well let's just say I've got a few things that may be a bit better than that...

Coat of Deep Pockets: A long leather coat with 3 pockets; 2 large outer pockets at about waist height and 1 smaller inner breast pocket. The pockets are enchanted with permanent Dimensional Pockets each capable of storing about 30 lbs worth or stuff (see PFRPG pg 209) If it can fit in the pocket it can be carried. The Coat itself also acts as a Cape of Dimensions (PFRPG pg 257), but with a couple of improvements. First, the weight limit is higher, capable of storing up to 500 lbs. Second, the normal time limit in which items may be stored within the dimensional limbo has been dramatically extended to 24 hours! However, the Coat cannot be used to perform a Dimensional Shift like the Cape of Dimensions, nor can it be made Indestructible, although it is rather tough with 55 SDC. Cost: 750,000+ gold Extremely difficult to make! Additional SDC may be added at the standard Magic SDC cost for magic armor, but the item itself is NOT armor and cannot be used as such.

The Amazing Minimizer: This unassuming wodden box measures about the size of standard small trunk. Speaking the command word "teeny" will cause any non-living matter placed in the box to shrink down to half its original size and weight. The command word "biggun" reverses the process. It will not make anything placed in the box bigger if the reversal command is spoken with a normal sized item in the box. Cost: 5000 gold

Hope these help! If you need anything else, let me know!

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[JuliusCreed]

"I see, and could you make say...10 of them?" "Oh, yes; please...let's." sitting down. "What can you tell me that will get me OUT OF THAT BLASTED KEEP FOR AWHILE. And uh...what, in Thoth's name, is a 'my-tie'?"

The old man chuckles a bit and with a twinkle of his bespectacled eye an odd shaped glass appears in your hand topped with a paper umbrella and smelling of strong rum and fruit. "That, my friend is a Mai Tai. Enjoy. As for making those crystals... of course. I wouldn't be among the greats if I couldn't. It will take a bit of time of course, as well as a few things that i'll need to acquire. Luckily, you have a serious need to get out and do something, so I think you'll be a perfect candidate for going on a little adventure for me. Call it partial payment for services rendered. And what I need is the simplest thing, yet so blasted difficult to get..... Dragon's tears. You'd think it would be easy to get them, but noooooo... Dragon's are notorious for just not crying. Surpising really, considering how emotionally driven a lot of them seem to be. But I digress... get me the tears of a Dragon... the older the beast the better and I'll need at least 20 ounces of them for what you need." He settles back into his chair, gently rocking back and forth with a quirky smile. "So how's that Mind Mage of yours? The one at the gates?"

[TheGameMaster]

The Undead Hunter comes up to Uncle Remus and the elf drinking tea

"Excuse me, I don't mean to inturupt, but I couldn't help overhearing. Is there anyway I could get one or two of those crystals? I know my Bounty Hunter friend would like one for Christmas. And like you said just about anyone can find a use for them so... If it wouldn't be too much trouble I would like 2, one for my friend and one for myself. Maybe I could help you get some of those dragon tears in partial exchange for the Crystals?"

[JuliusCreed]

The Undead Hunter comes up to Uncle Remus and the elf drinking tea

"Excuse me, I don't mean to inturupt, but I couldn't help overhearing. Is there anyway I could get one or two of those crystals? I know my Bounty Hunter friend would like one for Christmas. And like you said just about anyone can find a use for them so... If it wouldn't be too much trouble I would like 2, one for my friend and one for myself. Maybe I could help you get some of those dragon tears in partial exchange for the Crystals?"

The old man arches a brow, glancing from the Hunter to the Elf with a grin. "Seems you've gotten your first volunteer to help you with your quest, friend Elf... what say you? Of course this will mean a need for a larger amount of tears... I'm thinking 40 ounces now that they seem to be on the rise in popularity. How about it? I'll even provide a few Indestructible vials to carry them in..."

[pblackcrow]

"I see, and could you make say...10 of them?" "Oh, yes; please...let's." sitting down. "What can you tell me that will get me OUT OF THAT BLASTED KEEP FOR AWHILE. And uh...what, in Thoth's name, is a 'my-tie'?"

The old man chuckles a bit and with a twinkle of his bespectacled eye an odd shaped glass appears in your hand topped with a paper umbrella and smelling of strong rum and fruit. "That, my friend is a Mai Tai. Enjoy. As for making those crystals... of course. I wouldn't be among the greats if I couldn't. It will take a bit of time of course, as well as a few things that i'll need to acquire. Luckily, you have a serious need to get out and do something, so I think you'll be a perfect candidate for going on a little adventure for me. Call it partial payment for services rendered. And what I need is the simplest thing, yet so blasted difficult to get..... Dragon's tears. You'd think it would be easy to get them, but noooooo... Dragon's are notorious for just not crying. Surpising really, considering how emotionally driven a lot of them seem to be. But I digress... get me the tears of a Dragon... the older the beast the better and I'll need at least 20 ounces of them for what you need." He settles back into his chair, gently rocking back and forth with a quirky smile. "So how's that Mind Mage of yours? The one at the gates?"

"Tomas is now on a leave of absence to get his head on straight...To think he was smoking a mixture of wild hemp, basil, and nutmeg and never was late for work or showed any sign of it on the job. It is not illegal here, mind you. I try to govern over my people not rule over them. I may and do tax the sale of wild hemp and other things here and do try to enforce some control over who can and can not buy it and how much at a time they can buy with the psychic stamp. However it is not something that I want a guardsman doing. Especially one who is in his position who could leek something vital to someone in a drug induced state. Uh, question...is there anything you can give him to help with the permanent detoxification process? By the way, this is an interesting drink. And I know a Kukulcan dragon. An old friend of the family. If, mind you, if she is still around and not in her realm for the dragons holiday. It won't harm her or trap her in any way will it? If not, is there anything else you need or might know of? A days ride there and back doesn't seam like a very impressive uh, 'vacation'."

[JuliusCreed]

"Tomas is now on a leave of absence to get his head on straight...To think he was smoking a mixture of wild hemp, basil, and nutmeg and never was late for work or showed any sign of it on the job. It is not illegal here, mind you. I try to govern over my people not rule over them. I may and do tax the sale of wild hemp and other things here and do try to enforce some control over who can and can not buy it and how much at a time they can buy with the psychic stamp. However it is not something that I want a guardsman doing. Especially one who is in his position who could leek something vital to someone in a drug induced state. Uh, question...is there anything you can give him to help with the permanent detoxification process? By the way, this is an interesting drink. And I know a Kukulcan dragon. An old friend of the family. If, mind you, if she is still around and not in her realm for the dragons holiday. It won't harm her or trap her in any way will it? If not, is there anything else you need or might know of? A days ride there and back doesn't seam like a very impressive uh, 'vacation'."

The old man settles back in his chair with a languid smile spreading across his features, a cup of steaming hot tea floating to his hands. With an almost thoughtful sigh he takes a sip from the cup and gingerly places it on a table that saunters over to receive it. Steepling his fingers he levels his gaze upon your eyes, the sparkling blue orbs swimming with the limitless depths of a true dragon's gaze as he speaks.
"No, the process wouldn't harm or trap her in any way shape or form. She wouldn't even feel a tingle. But then again.... neither would you. The tingle I speak of is the tingle of excitement you would feel at the thrill of engaging in the hunt again. Sure, you could take the easy way and go to an old friend to help you. Why, any smart man would when faced with such a challenge. But you are actually seeking a challenge. As you said, something to "get you out of that damn keep". So here's the choice before you... go the easy route, or get out of the damn keep. Either way, you ultimately get what you want." With a wry grin he takes up his cup again, quietly sipping from it. "As for a "permanent" detoxification, I'm afraid that the wonders of alchemy only spread so far. Dear Tomas' detox process will have to be endured the same way as everyone else's and the permanence of his detoxification will depend solely on his own willpower and the support of those closest to him." He takes another sip from his cup and sets it back upon the table with a gentle smile, the fire in the hearth popping loudly as a pocket of resin heats to bursting, a shower of sparks bursting up in a plume of brilliant reds and oranges. "Has there been any further word about the knight and the dear Lady Du... er, his 'old army friend'?"

[TheGameMaster]

"Well Gentelmen I will let you continue your conversation. If you would care for my assistence in acquiring those dragon tears please let me know. And Uncle Remus, if he choses to just go to his old family friend, could you hold on to a couple of those crystels for me when you get them made. I will take two for exchange of some sevice of mine, or if you prefer the easy route I'll pay in gold"

The Hunter bows and dissmisses himself.

[t0m]

*the young man in the horned mask enters quietly*

"hello uncle remus! i am only here for a quick stop. i come bearing a gift. my friend doc has been working on this new liquor for a while and i thought you might enjoy it. its based on a form of moonshine we found in the possession of some unfortunately combative ogres. while we enjoyed the 'kick', we found the floating debris and algae to be...distracting. doc has re-created the stuff, but using his home made distillery to ensure purity. and in his typical fashion, has added wildberries and some other special things we have found along the way (fyreskye and la-shalla to be specific) to spice it up a little bit. i pilfered a bottle from his private reserves for your perusal. i hope you enjoy it good sir..."

*the young man, who usually moves with great precision, seems to be fairly 'loose', and his speech has a giggly, overly formal yet joking tone*

"oh hello good sir elf. i hadnt noticed you there in my excitement to offer my gift to uncle remus. i apologize for my indiscretion and offer you a drink as well..."

[JuliusCreed]

*the young man in the horned mask enters quietly*

"hello uncle remus! i am only here for a quick stop. i come bearing a gift. my friend doc has been working on this new liquor for a while and i thought you might enjoy it. its based on a form of moonshine we found in the possession of some unfortunately combative ogres. while we enjoyed the 'kick', we found the floating debris and algae to be...distracting. doc has re-created the stuff, but using his home made distillery to ensure purity. and in his typical fashion, has added wildberries and some other special things we have found along the way (fyreskye and la-shalla to be specific) to spice it up a little bit. i pilfered a bottle from his private reserves for your perusal. i hope you enjoy it good sir..."

*the young man, who usually moves with great precision, seems to be fairly 'loose', and his speech has a giggly, overly formal yet joking tone*

"oh hello good sir elf. i hadnt noticed you there in my excitement to offer my gift to uncle remus. i apologize for my indiscretion and offer you a drink as well..."

The old man smiles roadly as he accepts the bottle. "Well hello and welcome back! Thank you so much for this. Mayhap we can share a drink from it sometime soon. Sounds like it'll be some pretty good stuff. And i'm not too good with introductions, especially when i don't know the names involved so I'll go with what I know... Potion Boy, this is Elf Mage... Elf mage, Potion Boy, one of my more... interesting customers." With a wry grin he sets the bottle aside. "You've come at a rather opportune moment it seems... the Mage here is in need of Dragon tears. Perhaps you could assist him in acquiring some in a manner worty of his attentions. See, he also needs a vacation."

[t0m]

*the young man takes off his mask and attempts a formal looking bow towards the elven mage. his eyes are wild, glassy and his pupils are extremely dilated. a stupid grin is etched unflinchingly into his face*

"i can forgive you for forgetting my name. our previous introduction was offered at a most inopportune moment. i believe it was over frost giant moonshine and random potions (highly distracting)...people call me grey"

*he hops into a chair, pulls out a second bottle of the liquor, a pipe and pouch of some kind of tobacco/herbs which smells like fruit and candy*

"i hope you dont mind if i smoke? do you have any shot glasses? it seems rude to bring a bottle as a gift, then expect you to open it, so i brought two."

*he is rambling in short, hurried sentences which jump from one thought to another, but is still very well spoken and coherent*

"as for helping to acquire dragon tears, it sounds like the perfect thing to do on this lazy weekend...there are numerous dragons living in the silver mountain range, which is just outside of town. are you interested in a vacation to the fabulous mountains of timiro? you dont look like the rough and tumble camping type...i have always wondered if i could bring a dragon to tears. i know for a fact that i have been able to induce a nearly crippling rage in the last dragon i encountered. you may remember him actually...it was not a year ago that he attacked our fine city and was vanquished just outside the gates by my friends and i (and a legion of dragon hunters, and the royal guard, the mages guild and the warlocks guild)"

*he smiles manically, pours three drinks and hops back out of his chair. he begins to pace around the room while he tells you the story of the dragon...and the giant barbecue which followed his defeat*

[pblackcrow]

The old man settles back in his chair with a languid smile spreading across his features, a cup of steaming hot tea floating to his hands. With an almost thoughtful sigh he takes a sip from the cup and gingerly places it on a table that saunters over to receive it. Steepling his fingers he levels his gaze upon your eyes, the sparkling blue orbs swimming with the limitless depths of a true dragon's gaze as he speaks.
"No, the process wouldn't harm or trap her in any way shape or form. She wouldn't even feel a tingle. But then again.... neither would you. The tingle I speak of is the tingle of excitement you would feel at the thrill of engaging in the hunt again. Sure, you could take the easy way and go to an old friend to help you. Why, any smart man would when faced with such a challenge. But you are actually seeking a challenge. As you said, something to "get you out of that damn keep". So here's the choice before you... go the easy route, or get out of the damn keep. Either way, you ultimately get what you want." With a wry grin he takes up his cup again, quietly sipping from it. "As for a "permanent" detoxification, I'm afraid that the wonders of alchemy only spread so far. Dear Tomas' detox process will have to be endured the same way as everyone else's and the permanence of his detoxification will depend solely on his own willpower and the support of those closest to him." He takes another sip from his cup and sets it back upon the table with a gentle smile, the fire in the hearth popping loudly as a pocket of resin heats to bursting, a shower of sparks bursting up in a plume of brilliant reds and oranges. "Has there been any further word about the knight and the dear Lady Du... er, his 'old army friend'?"

He thinks for a moment. "You have a point. As for the knight of Loknear, who told you that it was the Lady Dracanarius he's going on with? They lied, it's not." *laughing* "No, no, no...He is not into women. As for Lady De'Stuffane of Loknear, I haven't heard anything more. I only had a short audience with the jester in privet. I have heard a rumor that there will be a war between the houses of Bridane and Roxnia in the spring over a land right concerning the island of Noth. If it is true, Lord Jordan has my backing; however I do wish that they wouldn't bicker over their recently departed Mother's land. Her ashes hasn't even been scattered yet and they're squabbling over who gets what. For a pair of twins, this brother and sister doesn't act very supporting towards one another in this time of need. They are making us all look bad."

[JuliusCreed]

He thinks for a moment. "You have a point. As for the knight of Loknear, who told you that it was the Lady Dracanarius he's going on with? They lied, it's not." *laughing* "No, no, no...He is not into women. As for Lady De'Stuffane of Loknear, I haven't heard anything more. I only had a short audience with the jester in privet. I have heard a rumor that there will be a war between the houses of Bridane and Roxnia in the spring over a land right concerning the island of Noth. If it is true, Lord Jordan has my backing; however I do wish that they wouldn't bicker over their recently departed Mother's land. Her ashes hasn't even been scattered yet and they're squabbling over who gets what. For a pair of twins, this brother and sister doesn't act very supporting towards one another in this time of need. They are making us all look bad."

The old man nods with as rather grim expression. "Family politics are always such sticky matters. I try to avoid such things as often as I can, especially considering my own stock in trade. I end up favoring one side or another and business suffers such a grievous loss and may even involve a skirmish or two right here in this very shop. I remember one incident that took place long ago. Seems there was a bit of a disagreement over some trifle between a king and one of his barons that was quickly escalating into full blown war. Well, long story short, it just so happened that one day the baron was in here negotiating the price for a rather dastardly piece of work when who should walk in but the king himself just as the goods were changing hands. And to top it off, the king was coming for the very same item for the very same purpose. needless to say, I've had to keep very powerful deterrents against violence in place since that day."

[pblackcrow]

The old man nods with as rather grim expression. "Family politics are always such sticky matters. I try to avoid such things as often as I can, especially considering my own stock in trade. I end up favoring one side or another and business suffers such a grievous loss and may even involve a skirmish or two right here in this very shop. I remember one incident that took place long ago. Seems there was a bit of a disagreement over some trifle between a king and one of his barons that was quickly escalating into full blown war. Well, long story short, it just so happened that one day the baron was in here negotiating the price for a rather dastardly piece of work when who should walk in but the king himself just as the goods were changing hands. And to top it off, the king was coming for the very same item for the very same purpose. needless to say, I've had to keep very powerful deterrents against violence in place since that day."

"Yes, quite true. I not fond of it myself. Too much stupidity there for my taste. But than, by not supporting Jordan I would come across as a liar; because he helped me out with manpower during the war with the gromek's. But I am going to be voicing my opinion on the matter if it comes down to war!" takes a drink, "This uh, my-tie? is quite good." takes another drink, "Anyway, have you heard any news about the spread of these astral lice or the new sickness over in Torun's Empire...the one said to be effecting only mages and psychics?"

[JuliusCreed]

"Yes, quite true. I not fond of it myself. Too much stupidity there for my taste. But than, by not supporting Jordan I would come across as a liar; because he helped me out with manpower during the war with the gromek's. But I am going to be voicing my opinion on the matter if it comes down to war!" takes a drink, "This uh, my-tie? is quite good." takes another drink, "Anyway, have you heard any news about the spread of these astral lice or the new sickness over in Torun's Empire...the one said to be effecting only mages and psychics?"

The old man furrows a brow a bit at the questions, head shaking a bit in response. "I can't say I have, though I will certainly have a look into them both. "Astral Lice", you say? Very odd... and obviously I should have some rather grave concerns over an illness affecting mages and psychics so that shall be one of my higher priorities. Thank you so much for the news on them. Oh and I'm so glad you like the drink." He passes a slip of paper to you with a grin. "Here's a basic recipe for it. Feel free to expand on it in any way you like."

[JuliusCreed]

Hello everybody! Old Uncle Remus has been in a bit of a funk lately. It seems my muse is on a holiday vacation and has left me seriously high and dry when it comes to making new toys for you to play with. My sincerest apologies to those of you out there that have been eagerly awaiting the latest installment of magical weirdness that springs from my mind. To rectify this I have gone through some of my older creations from previous threads to post them here so that all of you can have an easy reference point to everything in my shop. I promise more new items as soon as my addled brain can concoct them. Until then, here's everything else.

Magic Horse Brushes: You just got done with a hard days riding, set up camp and got your fire started. The last thing your tired body needs is more work brushing your horse down. Thank goodness for Magic Horse Brushes! Just say the magic word and these brushes get the job done for you in no time! From top to bottom, front to back, your horse will be brushed down and feeling fine before you can finish your dinner! And for a little extra, they even come in a self cleaning version! Cost: 300 gold (450 for self-cleaning)

Shade Torches: Hot summer days got you down? Do you really need a break from that pounding sun in the Bal-Gor Wastes? Then try Shade Torches! Just light like a regular torch and hold it over your head like a regular torch and you have instant portable shade. Comes in 3 different intensities for all your shade needs. There's Regular (like standing under a shade tree at high noon), Heavy (a moonless night in the forest), and Extreme (so dark nightvision can't penetrate). All affect a 20 ft diameter circle and last for 4 hours. Costs: Regular:150, Heavy:250, Extreme:400

Magic Tobacco: Literally dozens of different kinds. Here's a couple to try;
Talespinner's Blend: A rich aromatic blend of pipe tobacco, popular with Bards and grandfathers worldwide. Produces billowing clouds of smoke that take on shapes and images of whatever the storyteller/smoker is talking about. For example if a Bard is telling a tale of a great warrior battling a fearsome demon the smoke will produce images of a knight in full battle regalia battilng a fearsome demonic creature. The fun part is, the audience can be made a part of the story as well. None of the images made by the smoke can harm anything, nor can they take damage (they are just smoke after all), but it can make for quite a distraction, especially if the story teller comes up with some truly frightening or vivid images (GM's can apply a HF of up to 13 if the descriptions are particularly detailed) Cost:100-300 gold per ounce (1 ounce is good for about 2 hours of storytelling/smoking)
Vile Chaw: A particularly horrible tasting chewing tobacco, not really favored by anybody. It must be chewed for 1 full melee round and spat out. The chewer must make 2 saving throws vs. non-lethal poison to avoid spitting it out too soon. Failure means the chewer spits out the horrid stuff and spends the rest of the round retching and gagging (lose remaining attacks and -5 to parry/dodge for the rest of the round), while the now useless wad of chaw wriggles around on the ground and melts away to a sticky black sludge. Anyone making both saves manages to keep the stuff in for the alotted time and must spit it out at the beginning of the next round. When they do it writhes around and grows, taking the shape of a random Worm of Taut under the command of the chewer. it will remain in existance for 30 minutes or until destroyed. If for some insane reason the chewer does NOT spit the stuff out at the beginning of the next melee, just imagine what your character would look like with a Blow Worm suddenly exploding from his mouth. 'Nuff said. Cost: 250-500 gold per ounce (1 ounce=1 use)

Gloves of Adhesion: A favorite among thieves, these normal normal looking gloves are made of a supple dark colored leather with arcane symbols sewn in silver thread around the cuff. The enchantment is simple; They're sticky. Wearing them adds a +20% bonus to Climb skill, a +15% to Pick Pockets and the wearer cannot be disarmed. The only drawback is if the wearer fails his Pick Pockets roll; The chance for the intent being recognized shoots up from 67% to 85%. But you're not going to fail your Pick pockets roll, are you? Also, while wearing the gloves, the user cannot throw a weapon (it sticks to the glove) Cost: 20,000+ gold and very rare

Venom Blade: A weapon enchantment that, when activated, turns the blade of the weapon a sickly green color. Strikes with the weapon do normal damage and the victim saves against Non-Lethal Poison or takes an additional 2d6 damage per round for 4 rounds (Save each round to avoid extra damage). Also comes in a Lethal Poison version that does 4d6 extra damage per round for 4 rounds (Save vs Lethal Poison each round to avoid damage) and two other types that cause Paralysis (Save vs Non-Lethal Poison or victim is paralyzed for 2d6 minutes) or Sleep (Save vs Harmful Drugs or victim falls asleep for 1d6 hours) More than one type of Venom Blade Enchantment can be placed on a single weapon, but it cannot be combined with a Flaming Sword/Knife. Cost: Non-Lethal Poison; 50,000 Lethal Poison; 60'000 Sleep or Paralaysis; 40,000

Ring of Transportation Summoning: A rather largish ring of plain design, it only functions when worn on the thumb. Once per day the wearer can activate the ring's power by prominently sticking his thumb out and waiting. Within 2 melee rounds, during which time the wearer can only defend himself, not attack (not even spell casting or psionics), some form of transportation will arrive to take the wearer and up to 4 other people to any destination within 500 miles of his current location. It is entirely up to the GM exactly what form the transport takes, be it a Dragon that will carry the wearer on his back, a horse drawn carriage, a small flock of Pegasus of even an army of Fairies. Whatever it is that shows up, it will NOT engage in combat, even if the wearer and/or any companions are currently fighting. The transportation will basically show up, holler "Come on!" and wait for 1 melee round before departing on their own. If you don't get in, sorry,,, your loss and the ring cannot be activated again for 24 hours. If, for some odd reason, the wearer or his companions attack the transportaion (for example a Dragon shows up and someone gets greedy) the transport will vanish instantly and the charge is wasted again. This applies even during transport. (bad thing if its flying) Cost: 50,000+ gold, often at least twice that

Spidey Suit: Not really a suit as a set of accessories consisting of fine black leather gloves, boots belt and ninja-style hood. Extremely popular among Thieves and Assassins, but there are no restrictions on who, or what, can wear it. When the entire set is worn, the user gets the following abilities;
Spidey Senses: Wearer gains Sixth Sense like the Psionic ability (PFRPG pg 171) as long as the set is worn. No ISP limitations.
Spidey Climbing; The gloves and boots work like the Gloves of Adhesion in my previous post but also allow the user to crawl/walk along walls and ceilings. SPD is reduced by 25% when crawling/walking on ceilings/upside down.
Spidey Webs: The gloves are capable of shooting out a Magic Net (PFRPG pg 195) to ensnare opponents. Effective level of proficiency is 6th. This can only be used 3 times per day. They also release a Web Line that extends out to a range of up to 200 feet, firmly adhering to whatever the end of it strikes (The line itself has no adhesive properties, just the tip of it). The Web Line can be used as a rope to climb obstacles, swing from one point to another, catch a fleeing opponent and/or tie them up, or whatever else you can think of to use a rope for. Other than being able to attach to whatever the line is released at, it has no other special properties and can be cut or burnt like a regular rope, though it is rather resilient. (15 SDC to cut it at any point) No limit to how much Web Line can be created, other than the 200 feet per activation.
Spidey Leaps: Boots give the wearer the ability to make tremendous leaps, up to 15 feet straight up or 20 feet across from a standstill. Double these distances with a short running start.
Spidey Strength: The outfit as a whole gives the wearer a PS of 24 or adds 4 points to PS if it is already 22 or higher.
Spidey Agility: The whole outfit adds 6 points to the wearer's PP
Cost: 150,000+ gold

Elemental Gauntlets: 4 different gauntlets imbued with elemental powers. They may be worn singly or in mixed or matched pairs. Listed price is for a single gauntlet.
Air Gauntlet: When activated, the gauntlet crackles with electrical energy, creating an Electrical Field around the wearer. (PFRPG pg225) While active, the Gauntlet can be used to cast the following at 6th level proficiency; Call Lightning (once per Melee), Vacuum, Wind Blast (once per Melee). The gauntlet remains active for 10 minutes and can be activated 3 times per day/24 hour period.
Earth Gauntlet: When activated, the wearer's skin turns to stone, granting him a natural AR of 14 and an additional 140 SDC. While active, the gauntlet can be used to cast th following at 6th level proficiency; Hopping Stones, Wall of Stone, Petrification (once per Melee). The gauntlet remains active for 10 minute and can be activated 3 times per day/24 hour period.
Fire Gauntlet: When activated, the gauntlet erupts with flames, giving the wearer the equivalent of Fiery Touch (PFRPG pg234). While active, the Gauntlet can be used to cast the following at 6th level proficiency; Flame Lick, Fire Ball (once per Melee), Mini-Fireballs. The gauntlet remains active for 10 minutes per activation and can be used 3 times per day/24 hour period.
Water Gauntlet: When activated, the wearer's skin becomes covered with an Armor of Ice, graning an AR of 14 and 100 SDC. While active, the gauntlet can be used to cast the following at 6th level proficiency; Fog of Fear, Shards of Ice, 10 Foot Ball of Ice (once per Melee). The gauntlet remains active for 10 minutes and can be activated 3 times per day/24 hour period.
Cost: 50,000+ gold each

Friendship Bracelets: A simple bracelet made from strings of various colors woven together in a basic thin strand. They are bought in pairs or greater numbers as they must become bonded with at least 2 different people. The bonding process requires a drop of blood from each person to be involved in the link to be mixed together in a short magical ritual that involves each person involved standing in a circle, mixing their blood in a cup or chalice of no particular value or significance and dipping their bracelets into the mixture while humming some ancient tune (actually "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King).
Upon completion of the ritual, the wearers of the bracelets will be able to sense the general well being of the person that is bonded to them through the bracelet. If the bracelet is removed by one person it will be sensed immediately by the others in the circle of friends as an alarm of varying intensity based on the circumstances of the removal. For example if the person removes it just for a moment to wash his hands, the alarm would be a gentle momentary buzz. If he were forced to remove it by someone threatening to kill him if he didn't the alarm would be a bit more of a consistent and prominent buzz that would raise a bit of alarm.
The last ability of the bracelets is to issue a calling. If one of the wearers concentrates on one of his friends in the circle for a moment, he can issue a mental summons of sorts to that person, regardless of their location, even in another dimension. The friend is in no way obligated, much less compelled to answer the call, but will immediately sense the general nature of it, such as "Come to me, I need help" or Contact me quickly" or whatever. If one of the bracelet wearers dies, everyone in the circle will sense it and see the last few moments of his life flash through their minds, giving them all a glimpse of how he died and possibly what killed him, if anything. (Death by natural causes, such as old age or disease would show him lying on his death bed and quietly expiring) Cost: 1000 gold each (and remember, at least 2 must be bought and activated for them to work)

Armor Enchantments: Any of the standard Item Enchantments that are usually placed on Rings, Bracelets, Charms, etc. can be now placed on a suit of Armor! All listed effects, bonuses and limitations apply. Cost is the listed price of the Enchantment plus an additional 30,000 gold for heavy armor (chain through plate), or and additional 20,000 for light armor (cloth, quilt and leather) Can be combined with standard Armor Enchantments as well, but the Armor is still limited to a maximum of 3 total Enchantments

Healing Armor; An enchantment placed on any suit of armor that works as long as the entire suit is worn. The enchanted armor will heal its wearer at a rate of 2 HP/SDC per hour in addition to standard healing rates. If the wearer falls into a Coma, the Healing continues at the same rate and gives the wearer a +15% bonus to be revived from it. Finally, twice per day, the suit can do a Super Healing of 2d6 HP or 4d6 SDC instantly. Cost: 50,000 gold

Voice Box: A small cube, about 2 inches to a side, of black metal inscribed with arcane symbols. When activated by pressing one of the sides, any spoken word will be translated through the box into the language represented by the side that is pressed. The box has a listening range of only 10 feet and can be heard clearly for up to 15 feet. The box must be "programmed" with the languages the owner wishes it to translate by pressing one side, saying the word "Speak" in a chosen language, then pressing the same side. From that point on, if that side is pressed, the box will translate in that language. A side can also be "re-programmed" by pressing the side, saying the word "Silence" in the language of that side, and pressing the side again and repeating the programming instructions above in a new language. This is proving to be a very popular item among scholars, bards who specialize in storytelling (not so much for singers. the box has a very flat, monotone voice) and especially travelling merchants. It Can NOT translate the Elemental languge of true Elementals/Warlocks. Skill proficiency is 95% for successful translation. If the roll fails, the box emits garbled gibberish and shuts down (can still be reactivated) Duration is until the box is shut off (press the side again) Cost: 5000+ gold

Mystic Maps: A 24 inch square map of the known world drawn on parchment. The owner of the map attunes it with a drop of his/her blood smudged into a corner. From then on the map will show his location on the map with a small bright red dot, effectively adding a +20% bonus to all forms of navigation. Don't let this little gem fall into the hands of your enemies. A note for Diabolits: This map cannot be made indestructible by placing a silver rune on it! Yes it's parchment, but the map is aready drawn on it, thus the composition is altered and rendering it incapable of supporting the rune parchment ability. Cost: 1000 gold

Dimensional Tent: Really a misnomer (since I can't think of any other way to describe it), this is a tent that, when erected, has a larger space inside it. A simple 1 or 2 man pup tent is equivalent to a four man tent. 4 man is equal to an 8 man tent, and the 8 man tent is the equivalent of a small house complete with 3 seperate rooms! Anything left inside the tent will be stored in it util it is erected again, but it cannot be disassembled if living creatures are left inside, only non-living materials. Often the largest version is furnished like a house by its owner, complete with beds, tables, chairs etc., all of which are safely stored inside when the tent is taken down. Like the Environmental Tent, it does not protect against major acts of nature such as earthquakes, mudslides and such, nor does it share the Environmental Tents environment regulation abilities, though this can be added for an extra cost. Cost: 5000 for the small 2 man version, 8000 for the medium 4 man, and 10,000 for the large 8 man. Environmental versions add 5000 gold

Wow... lots of stuff here. Hope you all enjoy! More will come as it comes to me!

Thanks for coming by! Come again soon!

[JuliusCreed]

Greetings and welcome or welcome back, whatever the case may be! I've been going through some of my older stock and found a few items I promised to put on the shelves!

*Sightblinder*: Remember Wayfinder, mentioned a while back? This is another of the swords from that set. Identical in appearance in every way except the symbol on the crosspiece looks like an open eye. The powers of this sword are twofold and favored heavilly by Thieves, Assassins and Spies.
Disguise: This power is constantly in effect, but does not work on anyone closely associated with the wielder (ie family, close friends or allies, etc.) While the wielder possesses the blade his appearance to anyone around him is not his own, but rather that of one of two things; either someone/thing the person observing him trusts, or someone/thing the person observing him fears. The disguise is TOTAL, even fooling Magic and Psionic probes and detections. Even a Gem of Reality or the gods themselves will see and believe the disguise. The only drawback is that the wielder will have no idea exactly what it is he looks like to them, even if he looks in a mirror, (his reflection will be his own, though surrounded by a golden aura) though he can get a basic idea of what he looks like based on the reactions of those fooled by the disguise. (for example, someone looks at him and runs away screaming. obviously, they see something they fear) There is an even 50/50 shot of either trust or fear instilled in whoever sees the wielder and reactions can vary widely. A warrior seeing something he fears will not neccessarily run away, for example. Likewise, if an observer sees something he trusts, he may start treating the wielder like an old long lost friend even though the wielder is a complete stranger. (roleplaying through encounters like these can have some very embarrassing results)
People Read: A variation of the Psionic Object Read. The wielder of the sword concentrates on a single person for one melee and will begin to see glimpses of the person's past history. Such scenes could include significant events in their lives, (like winning a great battle) their true natures, (for example, if the person is a changeling or other shapeshifter) or dirty little secrets from their past. (like the time the Palladin slept with the farmer's daughter) The images will continue for as long as the wielder concentrates on the target and can last upwards of several hours if one decides to try and watch the target's entire life. Particular subjects of the target's life may also be sought out and watched with a little extra effort, like concentrating on a particular enemy's weakness. Such a task takes about 2d4 melee rounds. The target MUST be within line of sight (won't work if observed through remote means such as a crystal ball) and can only be done on one target at a time.
In combat, Sightblinder does 2d6 damage and is +2 to Strike and Parry (quality bonuses, not magical)
Curse: Technically, Sightblinder does not have a curse, though frivolous use of the People Reading power can get results that the wielder may not really like. (Do you really want to know if your girlfriend is cheating on you?)
Cost: 250,000 gold

Ghost Blade: A weapon enchantment that can only be placed on swords. (for some odd reason it doesn't work on ANY other weapon) When activated, the blade becomes semi-transparant and will pass through ANY defenses the opponent may have, including armor, magic (such as Armor of Ithan) or psionics, (Force Fields, Psi-Shield, etc) and cannot even be parried. (victims may still Dodge) A successful strike with this weapon when activated does the weapon's normal damage directly to Hit Points. The downside is the weapon cannot be used to Parry while activated, it cannot be used to perform a KO/Stun, Critical Strike or Death Blow while activated and Damage bonuses cannot be applied while activated. (normal weapon damage ONLY) Finally, this is the ONLY enchantment that can be placed on a weapon. If one attempts to enchant an already magical sword with this magic, it will result in an automatic failure and may destroy the item. (40% chance) The enchantment may be activated 3 times per day and will remain active for 5 melees. Cost: 50,000 gold

Icarus Cloak: A well made cloak of exceptionally light material, when worn and activated the cloak becomes a pair of great feathered wings allowing the wearer to fly at a speed of up to 40 mph. The wearer may carry up to his normal PS limit while flying and can achieve a maximum altitude of about 200 feet. The cloak may be activated up to 3 times per 24 hour period with each activation lasting a maximum of 3 hours. It is highly reccommended that the wearer land BEFORE the time expires. A fall from 200 feet up hurts... a lot. Cost: 40,000 gold (rather pricey because of the use of Angel Feathers in the creation process)

Coming soon: A fresh batch of Whoop-Ass!! And, a New Year's special! Buy one 24 pack of random unmarked potions, get a 12 pack FREE!! Now, until midnight December 31st!! Stock up now for the parties!!

Thanks for coming by! Come again soon!!

[gaby]

A Minstrel walker in,Good day Sir,I have a bit of a run in with a Music critic and My Lute got damage,can you tell me about what lutes you have?

[JuliusCreed]

A Minstrel walker in,Good day Sir,I have a bit of a run in with a Music critic and My Lute got damage,can you tell me about what lutes you have?

The old man smiles and nods sympathetically as he heads behind the counter. "My condolences on your loss, good sir. It's such a pity when an uncultured philistine has no appreciation for the finer arts. Let me see what i can find for you here."

Electric Guitar: An amazing instrument taking the form of a guitar, lute, lyre or other stringed instrument. Often used in the performance of rousing ballads and songs of inspiration by some of the best bards and minstrels in the land. It also possesses a special ability known as the Power Chord. When played, the Minstrel strikes the strings in a forceful manner, releasing a powerful sustained note and unleashing a Lightning Bolt at a single target, directed by the player pointing the neck of the instrument at his intended victim. The target must be within 150 feet and the player must have a clear line of sight. The bolt is +6 to strike (no other strike bonuses apply) does 5d6 damage, and may be fired up to 3 times per 24 hour period. Cost: 50,000 gold

Siren Lute: A beautifully crafted instrument of impeccable quality, this particular piece is favored in playing slow songs and ballads of love. The player may also use it to cast the equivalent of a Love Charm spell (PFRPG pg 204) on a single target while playing a song of this type. The Minstrel must make eye contact with the victim at any time while playing the song. Eye contact must be maintained for 1 melee round as the Minstrel plays for his "audience of one" (think Michael Jackson asking a girl "Is it alright if I play this just for you?" And the women just eat it up!) At the end of that round, the victim is allowed a standard saving throw vs Magic at a -2. Failure to save means suffering the full effects of the Love Charm at the equivalent of 6th level proficiency. Special Note; The Side Effects of the Love Charm spell (Insane jealousy and Permanence) also apply to the victim of this instrument's power, so be careful when using it. The power may be used only twice per 24 hours. Cost: 40,000 gold (Note: There are rumors of even more powerful versions of this item that are capable of affecting entire crowds! One particular rumor tells of a long deceased Mistrel named Allviss Perressly who charmed entire nations with his music. So deeply felt was the enchantment that even now there are people scattered around the world that express a deep love for this now dead singer.)

The Axe: No, this is not a weapon, though the shape of this particular guitar is very similar to it. It is highly favored by those who play battle hymns and strong, driving songs of glory and honor. It is enchanted to enhance such music with a couple of interesting powers. First is the power of Amplification. Twice per day this power can be used to amplify the sound of whatever is being played to the point that it can be clearly heard for up to 1 mile. If this power is not used, the music can be heard clearly up to 100 feet away. This range is reduced a bit depending on the levels of backgound noise in the area. For example, if played during a great battle (great being roughly equivalent to a few thousand warriors clashing in battle, for example) the hearing range is reduced to about half. The duration of the Amplification power is up to 1 hour. Another power, generally meant to be combined with the first, is that of instilling a Battle Fury, granting combat bonuses to the player's allies/comrades. The bonuses include an additional attack per melee, and a +2 to Strike, Parry and Dodge. This power can be activated twice per 24 hours and bonuses last for as long as the Minstrel continues to play and as long as the music can be heard. If at any time the Minstrel stops playing or anyone leaves hearing range, the bonuses immediately vanish and the power must be reactivated. Cost: 60,000 gold Note: This instrument is slowly gaining popularity with many military forces for obvious reasons.

The Toreador: This powerful instrument is extremely rare and difficult to create, but those who use it can be counted among the greatest artists to ever perform anywhere. Playing it is extremely difficult, giving the player a -25% penalty against the appropriate skill. However, if the Minstrel is successful in playing it, after 1 round of playing he will find himself granted the ability of Empathic Transmission (PFRPG pg 174) The full range of emotional responses is possible, but is dependant on the music played by the Minstrel. For example, to instill Hatred or Anger one must play something driving and hard edged (think punk or early garage grunge). Love or Peacefulness requires a more flowing and natural tune (Sonny and Cher from the 60's or The Captain and Teneal (sp?) Confusion means a fast, erratic sound of clashing melodies (Industrial Techno or Speed Metal) And so on and so forth. The sound from this instrument may be heard clearly for up to 100 feet and affects everybody, friend or foe, within the area (except the player) for as long as the music is played. Everyone is allowed an initial save against the effects of 14 or better. Additional saves are allowed every 10 melees the music continues. If the Minstrel stops playing, the effects wear off after 2 melees. Those who make their saving throws are unaffected, but must continue to save every 10 melees the music continues. The power may be activated up to 2 times per 24 hours. Cost: 100,000 gold

The One Man Band: Once a Minstrel successfully plays one of these for a full melee round, he can let it go and it will continue to play on its own, allowing the artist to pick up and play another instrument with it in a duet! Several different versions of this item can be purchased and made to perform by the same person as well (though the added bulk could get a bit cumbersome) A single Minstrel may activate/control up to 3 of these instruments at one time! All will continue to play for as long as the Minstrel plays. If the artist stops playing at any time, the instruments will continue to play for 1 minute, (4 melees) waiting for him to pick up a new instrument and resume. If he doesn't jump back in, they will all stop. They may be activated up to 3 times per 24 hours. Cost: 10,000 gold for each instrument

I hope these will help you get your career going again. Perhaps I could convince you to book a gig here one day? I could certainly use the attraction to stimulate business a bit and I'm sure you could use the publicity and exposure. Not to mention the pay! Say, a nice discount perhaps?

Thanks for coming by! Come again soon!

[gaby]

A group of warriors enter,the leader say hallo,Me and my team have hear a Rumor that Demons will invade the world,We need demon killing weapons,what do you ask in exchange?

[JuliusCreed]

A group of warriors enter,the leader say hallo,Me and my team have hear a Rumor that Demons will invade the world,We need demon killing weapons,what do you ask in exchange?

The old man looks over the group with a discerning eye, a brow arching thoughtfully as he slowly nods. "Demon killing weapons are easy, what with the standard Demon Slayer enchantment. But I get the feeling you folks are looking for something with a little extra edge to it. Try some of these on for size..."

Hellfire Weapons: Similar to Flaming Weapons, these items consist of specially enchanted handles and scabbards/cases that are impervious to Hellfire and buisness ends made of black tinged flames. They come in Knife and Ball&Chain versions as well as 2 different Sword types. The advantages of Hellfire Weapons over regular Flaming Weapons are 1> Extra Damage; Hellfire Knife; 3d6, Hellfire Ball&Chain; 5d6, Hellfire Swords; 5d6 and 6d6. 2> Super Intensity; Items, Armor and Creatures that are normally Resistant or Impervious to Fire (ie Most Demons/Deevils, Fire Dragons, Nimro Giants, etc.) can be affected by these weapons. Impervious to Fire takes half damage from these weapons. Resistant to Fire takes normal damage. Also note, creatures/items/armor/etc. that is vulnerable to fire (Algor Giants, Ice Dragons, Water Elementals, etc.) take TRIPLE damage from these weapons. Cost: Knife: 30,000 gold, Ball&Chain: 40,000 gold, Sword (5d6): 45,000 gold, Sword (6d6): 55,000 gold

Nemesis Flails: An interesting variation of the earlier mentioned Demon Flails. If a Demon Flail is enchanted with a Deevil Slayer enchantment it will do double damage to Deevils in its normal form or TRIPLE damage when its Flaming Weapon ability is activated! The same is also true of Demon Flails made of Deevil bones (we'll call them Deevil Flails for the sake of clarity) being enchanted as Demon Slayers. What's more, the damage of the Fireball these weapons spit when activated does double damage as well. Cost: 100,000 gold (Still rather pricey, but they ARE made of Demon/Deevil bones. You want a discount? Bring your own materials! That can bring the price down to about 75,000-80,000 gold)

Sword of the Archangel: A powerful weapon, these are finely crafted swords of various types, though nearly always a Large Sword (about 5%-10% are Short Swords) with engraved blades, jewelled hilts and pommels and heavilly adorned scabbards. Regardless of the type of sword it is, all powers are identical. Damage from one of these is 5d6. Upon command, the blade starts to glow with an intense white light, fully illuminating a 10 foot radius around the wielder. When so activated, the light is considered true Daylight, repelling/damaging vampires within the radius of effect. While the weapon is held over the wielder's head, the circle of light is also considered a Superior Protection Circle as the Wizard Ritual, (PFRPG pg 214) including saving throw bonuses and extra PPE and ISP for Mages and Psychics. If used in combat, the protection circle ends and the weapon does 1d6x10 damage! Victims will find they cannot regenerate damage from this weapon. Magic spells, potions, Psionic or natural bio-regeneration, clerical healing touch or Miraculous healing... NONE of it works! Damage taken from this weapon has to be healed the old fashioned way; Bandages, stitches, medicine and time! Cost: 150,000+ gold, often 100%-200% more. Extremely rare and difficult to create.

Demon Whistle: Not really a weapon, but very handy nonetheless. This item is a whistle carved from bone (yes, it's demon bone) Activated simply by blowing it, it emits a horribly piercing shriek, like nails being dragged down a chalkboard broadcast over rock concert amplifiers. At least, that's what Demons hear. Like a dog whistle, except Demons are the only creatures that can hear it. Effects are the equivalent of a Diabolist's Ward of Agony (PFRPG pg 128) with a duration of only 3 melee rounds and NO damage. Demons will also find it difficult to hear after recovering from the initial Agony effects, suffering a -3 to Strike, Parry/Dodge and -6 to Parry/Dodge attacks from the rear for 4 melees. The whistle may be used 4 times in a 24 hour period. Cost: 10,000 gold Note: An equivalent Deevil Whistle could also be made from Deevil Bone for the same price. Perhaps others could be made for other creatures as well

That's what I've got to start with, guys. Is there anything else I might be able to scare up for you? Custom orders are a specialty here, you know.

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[pblackcrow]

"Yes, quite true. I not fond of it myself. Too much stupidity there for my taste. But than, by not supporting Jordan I would come across as a liar; because he helped me out with manpower during the war with the gromek's. But I am going to be voicing my opinion on the matter if it comes down to war!" takes a drink, "This uh, my-tie? is quite good." takes another drink, "Anyway, have you heard any news about the spread of these astral lice or the new sickness over in Torun's Empire...the one said to be effecting only mages and psychics?"

The old man furrows a brow a bit at the questions, head shaking a bit in response. "I can't say I have, though I will certainly have a look into them both. "Astral Lice", you say? Very odd... and obviously I should have some rather grave concerns over an illness affecting mages and psychics so that shall be one of my higher priorities. Thank you so much for the news on them. Oh and I'm so glad you like the drink." He passes a slip of paper to you with a grin. "Here's a basic recipe for it. Feel free to expand on it in any way you like."

"Okay, will do. And thank you. By the way, there is an ice dragon I've been meaning to capture for sometime now. Would that work? I am not certain of it's age. Though, it's an adult to be sure. The sizes of the turds says a lot. But I will need a way to deactivate it's teleporting and shape changing abilities...And please tell me you alchemists have came up with a better form of doing it than a magical...uh, what was the term he used again...suppository?! Big thing. The first and last time I gave to one dragon wasn't exactly a pretty sight and it took nine and a half weeks for the healers to repair where she crushed it. And yes, trust me it was a female dragon. Uh, that, and some environmental HEAVY wool undies and face mask to go under my heaviest leather armor, thick wool robe, and my heavy wool cloak. Maybe that will make a difference. Not too likely, but maybe. I have also tried to dealt with ice dragons before on 3 occasions...Note I said, 'tried to'. Let me tell you it is not fun, nor is it easy."

[JuliusCreed]

"Okay, will do. And thank you. By the way, there is an ice dragon I've been meaning to capture for sometime now. Would that work? I am not certain of it's age. Though, it's an adult to be sure. The sizes of the turds says a lot. But I will need a way to deactivate it's teleporting and shape changing abilities...And please tell me you alchemists have came up with a better form of doing it than a magical...uh, what was the term he used again...suppository?! Big thing. The first and last time I gave to one dragon wasn't exactly a pretty sight and it took nine and a half weeks for the healers to repair where she crushed it. And yes, trust me it was a female dragon. Uh, that, and some environmental HEAVY wool undies and face mask to go under my heaviest leather armor, thick wool robe, and my heavy wool cloak. Maybe that will make a difference. Not too likely, but maybe. I have also tried to dealt with ice dragons before on 3 occasions...Note I said, 'tried to'. Let me tell you it is not fun, nor is it easy."

The old man nods with a gentle smile. "Yes, an ice dragon would do quite nicely. Any dragon would do well to be perfectly honest, though it must be an adult at least. As for deactivating its teleportation or shape-shifting powers... that's always a touchy matter, though I've never honestly heard of any means to do so with a suppository. I may have a few things here that can help with that, though."

Changeling Shackles: This is actually the name of an ancient device used centuries ago during the Changeling Inquisitions. Seeing the need to overcome the Changelings natural ability to shapeshift into a smaller form in order to escape from normal bonds, these mystic shackles were enchanted to change their size in order to fit whatever form the prisoner took. Originally, they were only capable of growing or shrinking to a size that would fit most humanoids. These are modified slightly in order to be able to grow even larger or smaller for use on shapeshifters that can take forms other than those of most humanoids. (Dragons, Demons, Deevils and the like) Ones locked onto a target, they will automatically grow or shrink to whatever size needed to restrain the form the victim takes between 6 inches up to 50 feet tall. (sizes based on a roughly humanoid shape. May be placed on either wrists or ankles of the victim. Note: As a Magical restraint, the Escape spell is ineffective against them, but the victime can still attempt to pick the lock. The lock on the shackles is rather complex, requiring a skill roll at -20%. Cost: 15,000 gold per set

Spatial Disruptor: An odd device shaped like a disk about 4 inches across and about a centimeter thick with odd symbols decorating both sides. When activated by speaking the command word "stikaroun" the symbols glow with a strange red light. While active, disrupts the spatial fabric of the area of effect, preventing the use of teleportation abilities, whether natural, psionic or mystic in nature. Effectively, the area of effect cannot be teleported into or out of. Even Dimensional Teleport abilities are affected, though to a lesser degree. (Dimensional Teleports have only a 30% chance of success) The device affects a 100 foot radius area around the device and the effects last 10 melee rounds or until the user speaks the command word "gedawttaheer", at which point the symbols will glow with a slowly fading green light. It may be activated up to 3 times per 24 hour period. Cost: 100,000+ gold and exceptionally rare (Rather pricey because some SERIOUS dimensional magic is used in creating these)

"As for 'environmental wool undies'... considering what you're going after how about..."

Impervious to Cold: An enchantment that can be placed on armor (or clothing, for that matter) to render the wearer immune to the effects/damage of cold based attacks. Cost: 12,000 gold

"Those should help significantly in your quest, my good man. If there's anything else I can get for you, just ask."

[pblackcrow]

"As I recall, the suppositories were experimental. Impervious to cold armor? Hummm. Very well. I will bring my own leather armor tomorrow to be done. But I also want to go ahead and get the environmental under garments along with socks, light gloves, and a thin white silk mask done as well. They would be such an absolute blessing to have anyway. Think about it. Here in the winter months they will keep you warm but not overly so in any armor, and in summer cool, etc. The chains would be nice to have. Uh, 3 question about the disk: How long it it effective? Is there a way to x5 the area of effect? We are talking a dragon here not a human...Their lairs tend to be quite a bit larger than 100'. And lastly, can it take a hit from a dragon?"

[JuliusCreed]

"As I recall, the suppositories were experimental. Impervious to cold armor? Hummm. Very well. I will bring my own leather armor tomorrow to be done. But I also want to go ahead and get the environmental under garments along with socks, light gloves, and a thin white silk mask done as well. They would be such an absolute blessing to have anyway. Think about it. Here in the winter months they will keep you warm but not overly so in any armor, and in summer cool, etc. The chains would be nice to have. Uh, 3 question about the disk: How long it it effective? Is there a way to x5 the area of effect? We are talking a dragon here not a human...Their lairs tend to be quite a bit larger than 100'. And lastly, can it take a hit from a dragon?"

Answers to your questions are;
1> "The device affects a 100 foot radius area around the device and the effects last for 10 melee rounds or until the user speaks the command word "gedawttaheer"..."

2> Buy 5 of them. Seriously, no, there is not. The area of effect is rather limited because of the type of magic involved. We're essentially dealing with a level of magic that is known only to particularly ancient beings, such as Dragons and some of the elder gods, that deals with messing around with the fabric of time and space. Pushing the area of effect of one of these is risking tearing a hole to some very bad places. With a little creativity though, the disc can be seriously effective. here's a freebie for you on it... Carpet of Adhesion. Cast it on the Dragon or the disc, then attatch one to the other and activate.Now, no matter where the dragon goes, the disc goes with it. At least until the Carpet expires

3> Yes, but not very many. Effective SDC of the item is about 100.

As for enchanting your undies and armor, no problem. Just leave them on the counter there and i'll have them ready in about a week. Anything else I can do for you, my boy?

[JuliusCreed]

Good morning, boys and girls! Uncle Remus here with some new stuff, fresh from the lab! Let's see if anything tickles your fancy here!

Cloak of the Manta: A finely tailored cloak made from finely crafted, extremely lightweight leather of a light to medium grey color. Activated underwater by mental command, it bonds itself to the wearer's body and legs, leaving the arms free and spreads out like a pair of wings to let the wearer effectively "fly" underwater! While activated the wearer is granted the abilities from a Superior Swim as the Fish spell (PFRPG pg 199), including the ability to breathe underwater and the combat bonuses. The cloak leaves the wearer's arms free so that he may freely engage in combat with hand-held weapons, pick up items, etc. Effects last for up to one hour or until the wearer leaves the water. The cloak may be activated up to 3 times per 24 hour period. Note: If the wearer is underwater when the time limit is about to expire, the cloak will magically send a warning to its wearer with a small buzzing to the back of the head. The wearer does not have to surface to reactivate the cloak. Cost: 30,000 gold

Cloak of the Stingray: Identical to the Cloak of the Manta with one small modification; when activated the cloak also trails a tail behind it tipped with a sharp spike that may be used to impale opponents in combat. Attacking with the spike uses one of the wearer's attacks/actions and the attack is +3 to Strike in addition to the wearer's PP bonus, if any. Hand to Hand bonuses do NOT apply. A successful strike with the spike does 2d4+2 damage. The spike may also be further enchanted with any standard weapon enchantments except Flaming Weapon or Spit Fireballs (it's only active UNDERWATER!) and is limited to 1 enchantment. Cost: 40,000 gold Additional weapon enchantments for the spike are standard cost.

Eel-skin Gloves: A pair of finely crafted light leather gloves, often favored by Mages, Thieves, Assassins and Spies. With but a mental command, the gloves become electrified, allowing the wearer to do 2d6 damage with a simple touch. This damage can also be added to normal punch damage. While activated, the gloves may also be used to generate and hurl a mini-Lightning Bolt at a target up to 100 feet away once per melee, doing 4d6 damage with a successful strike. The Lightning Bolt is +3 to strike when thrown. The gloves may be activated 3 times per 24 hour period and remain active for 10 melees per activation. Cost: 25,000 gold per pair. Single gloves may also be bought for 15,000 gold each.

That's all for now folks! Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[pblackcrow]

[quote="JuliusCreed]Answers to your questions are;
1> "The device affects a 100 foot radius area around the device and the effects last for 10 melee rounds or until the user speaks the command word "gedawttaheer"..."

2> Buy 5 of them. Seriously, no, there is not. The area of effect is rather limited because of the type of magic involved. We're essentially dealing with a level of magic that is known only to particularly ancient beings, such as Dragons and some of the elder gods, that deals with messing around with the fabric of time and space. Pushing the area of effect of one of these is risking tearing a hole to some very bad places. With a little creativity though, the disc can be seriously effective. here's a freebie for you on it... Carpet of Adhesion. Cast it on the Dragon or the disc, then attatch one to the other and activate.Now, no matter where the dragon goes, the disc goes with it. At least until the Carpet expires

3> Yes, but not very many. Effective SDC of the item is about 100.

As for enchanting your undies and armor, no problem. Just leave them on the counter there and i'll have them ready in about a week. Anything else I can do for you, my boy?[/quote]

"Not that I can think of. Thank you very much for your help. You may keep the tea pot. If I can get out of the keep for a I shall either bring the armor and the other stuff tomorrow, or I shall have one of my adopteds bring them." stands, "And here's 2/3 of the payment then too and the rest of it next week. I should hope you will have a good night." Formally bows.

[JuliusCreed]

"Not that I can think of. Thank you very much for your help. You may keep the tea pot. If I can get out of the keep for a I shall either bring the armor and the other stuff tomorrow, or I shall have one of my adopteds bring them." stands, "And here's 2/3 of the payment then too and the rest of it next week. I should hope you will have a good night." Formally bows.

The old man smiles warmly, taking the elf's hand in a light grasp with a slight bow. "My pleasure, good sir. Always a pleasure to do business with you. My thanks for the tea and the teapot. It shall be cherished. As for the remainder of your payment, don't worry about it. The time, talk and good company are more than enough to compensate. Call it a "friendly discount". You may pick up your things a week after they are left with me. They will be ready then, I guarantee it. Good luck on your journeys. May this quest for tears prove a success." As he releases your hand, you feel a slight extra weight in it and feel the touch of soft suede against your palm.

[pblackcrow]

"Thank you. I will write you a tax credit." And looks at his hand.

[JuliusCreed]

Hey everybody! Bet you all thought I was dead and gone, what with all the talk of Necromancers hunting for Alchemist heads (take a look here) Well I can assure you I am alive and well! Just been busy in the workshop coming up with a few things of interest. Have a look!

Military Boots: A sturdy looking set of heavy leather work boots in a variety of colors, mostly black and brown, though green is making a strong approach as well (mostly bought by Rangers) When worn, they grant the user with the equivalent of a Forced March skill. If the wearer already has Forced March, they double the standard marching duration. Standard running SPD is not affected. Cost: 8000 gold per pair

Elven War Lance: An ancient mystic weapon, dating back to before the Great War, it appears to be an extremely short spear with a wide, leaf-shaped tip, overall length of about 2 feet. Upon command, the handle lengthens to about 8 feet, giving the wielder a distinctly superior reach in combat as a spear. The weapon remains in spear form for 10 melee rounds and can be activated up to 5 times per day. The wielder uses either WP Short Sword in short form or WP Spear when activated. In either form the weapon does 2d6 damage and may be enchanted with up to 2 more weapon enchantments at standard cost. If the Flaming Sword enchantment is placed on it, it will be a Flaming Spear when activated and will inflict damage appropriate with the level of enchantment purchased. Cost: 10,000 gold

Heartseeker: An insidious weapon enchantment that can only be placed on daggers, swords and spears, this magic causes the tip of the enchanted weapon to break off in the body of its victim and work its way to their heart. This process is painfully slow and agonizing and takes an amount of time based on where the weapon strikes. If the victim is struck in an arm or leg it could last up to 5 days as the item slowly tears its way through the victims body. If struck in the chest, the victim could be dead within 24 hours! To complicate things, any attempts to remove the item from the victim's body (Surgeon skill, Psychic Surgery, etc.) will see it work its way in deeper and faster, regardless of the method used. There are only two ways to safely remove the damned thing. First is with a successful Remove Curse. Unfortunately, the Remove Curse option suffers from a -25% to its success rate, but it can be attempted as often as needed. After a successful Remove Curse, the item may be removed by any means. Second, the wielder of the enchanted weapon can successfully remove it in any way he sees fit. He is the ONLY one the item does not react to when being removed from the victim's body. Technically, there is a third way to save the victim, but it only applies if the victim is struck in a limb, such as an arm or leg; Cut the limb off. Damage from the tip of the weapon working its way though the body is 1d6. This damage is applied every time someone other than the weapon's wielder attempts to remove it AND once every 8 hours as it makes its way closer to the victim's heart. Damage is applied to the victim's SDC until it reaches the chest/main body of the victim. At this point it is applied directly to HP as it tears its way through vital organs to reach its goal. The victim also suffers a -2 to Strike, Parry and Dodge, -1 attack/action per melee, SPD reduced by 25% and skill performance reduced by 20% as long as the item is working its way through the victim. If the item is removed, penalties are instantly gone. Oh, and last but not least, after the tip of the weapon breaks off in the victim, the weapon automatically regrows a new one. Cost: 25,000 gold

That's all for now folks. I feel I owe an apology to you, my loyal customers, for not having a fresh batch of Whoop-Ass out yet as I promised a while back. The last batch I was concocting had a rather.... energetic... incident. I miss Lunkhead... er, Sam.

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[t0m]

*grey leaps through the door with another bottle in his hands, a mischievous look on his face*

'hello uncle remus! i bring yet another bottle of liquor, and an offer you may or may not be able to refuse. i hear you are missing the assistance of your former assistant. i would like to take his place. my normal companion/partner in adventure, has decided to spend some time teaching some students of medicine at the royal university of timiro. he will be too busy to adventure for a few months, and i am left incredibly bored for the most part. i am offering my self for a period of months equal to his time teaching. i know nothing of what you do here, but i am dexterous, intelligent enough to follow instruction, and fearless (some would say bordering on insanity) in the face of explosions of corrosive, color changing chemicals and other worldly beasts. i am willing to help in whatever capacity you require, either here, or abroad, and i require no payment. i am merely looking for something to entertain myself until my partner has completed his teaching duties. please accept my offer, or i may be forced to hang out in your shop, drinking and not doing anything helpful for the coming months like some kind of layabout.'

[JuliusCreed]

*grey leaps through the door with another bottle in his hands, a mischievous look on his face*

'hello uncle remus! i bring yet another bottle of liquor, and an offer you may or may not be able to refuse. i hear you are missing the assistance of your former assistant. i would like to take his place. my normal companion/partner in adventure, has decided to spend some time teaching some students of medicine at the royal university of timiro. he will be too busy to adventure for a few months, and i am left incredibly bored for the most part. i am offering my self for a period of months equal to his time teaching. i know nothing of what you do here, but i am dexterous, intelligent enough to follow instruction, and fearless (some would say bordering on insanity) in the face of explosions of corrosive, color changing chemicals and other worldly beasts. i am willing to help in whatever capacity you require, either here, or abroad, and i require no payment. i am merely looking for something to entertain myself until my partner has completed his teaching duties. please accept my offer, or i may be forced to hang out in your shop, drinking and not doing anything helpful for the coming months like some kind of layabout.'

The old man chuckles softly, eyes sparkling a bit behind his spectacles. "Your exhuberance is refreshing, young man, and greatly appreciated, as is your offer of services in order to curb your boredom. I do miss my old friend Sam occassionally, though it is usually only for those brief and fleeting moments when I am remembering how amusing he looked when he messed something up. That vacant drooling expression he often wore was always rather comical. But then the moment quickly passes as the related memory of the damages comes rushing in right behind. I do, however, have to give him at least some credit. Whether by design of fate or sheer ignorant luck, he did manage to help me with a couple of my newer discoveries. You remember the Thunder Gauntlets? He's the one that discovered the Sonic Wave power they possess. Of course, I ended up having to replace roughly half of my lab equipment and get extensive repairs done on the walls and ceiling, but he deserves kudos for the discovery nonetheless." He smiles gently, eyes getting a wandering look as though lost in thought for a moment, then snaps back with a grin. "But enough about that. You are here for a break in your tedium. Sadly I have nothing to offer along the lines of a job as I have minions out scouring for everything I need and I certainly don't want you to lower yourself to something as mundane as dusting my shelves. Thus, my offer to you is simple; Hang out in my shop, drink and do nothing even remotely helpful save regale me with your company, your words, and perhaps a few snorts of whatever booze you happen to bring by that day. While you are asking for no payment, I cannot in good concious ask you to do anything like this for me without some form of compensation." With a brief gesture, a case marked RUMP appears on the counter as a sly grin crosses his features. I figure a case a day should be sufficient... wouldn't you agree? I can even throw in a warm and safe bed for the evenings you need one."

Official 100th post sale! Now for a limited time; All items 30% off!! Buy a case of Whoop-Ass, get a second case for half price!
Offer expires in 7 days, at 2-11-11!
Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane!! Your one stop Magic Shop!

[t0m]

*grey smiles a crazy grin*

"i accept your offer good sir. im not sure what this 'RUMP' is, but your mischievous grin has revealed enough to pique my interest, and ensure that it will be suitable. i will not need lodging, as i live in a 'manor' near the tenements...perhaps at some time you would grace us with your presence for a meal some evening after the shop closes? my aforementioned partner will still be in town, just too busy at the university to do anything fun...im sure he would love to meet you as well. along with our vast stocks of booze, we have quite a few rare/magical artifacts that you might enjoy examining...actually, come to think of it, i have never seen you leave the shop, or even mention it...perhaps ill bring you a plate from home instead some day and spare you the possible discomfort of the outside world...anyway, i appreciate you taking me on like this, and i assure you that even dusting is not beneath me...but i would much prefer to tackle something more dangerous...perhaps you have a demon or wild animal, which is dusty? heheh..."

*he opens the case of RUMP, examines its contents and tells stories of his adventures...riding a wild beast dragon, jumping overboard in sea monster infested waters to retrieve a bottle of rye that slipped out of his hand and more...he is clearly a thrill seeker, bordering on self destructive/suicidal behaviour. it is unclear exactly what he 'is' in terms of an occupation/training, but he seems to have a good heart, and from his stories (if they are to be believed) he is quite a fighter*

[JuliusCreed]

Dear me it has been quite a while since I put up any new items. For that, my loyal customers, I sincerely apologize. But, I can assure you, the wait may well be worth it. I have made a new discovery in my lab and wish to see how this works out. I just need a couple of... "volunteers"... to give them a go. Here's a basic rundown...

I have discovered what I like to call Symbiotic Magic Items. They start off as simple magical doodads, a sword, a cloak, a gauntlet or whatever, with a simple enchantment. After it is purchased, the owner then bonds with the item over a period of about 2 weeks, sometimes longer depending on the item. The bonding process is similar to that of a Rune Item.
After the bonding process is complete, the item begins to grow in power, gaining new, more powerful abilities as the person it is bonded with grows in power and experience. For example, one item could be a magical cloak like a Cloak of Armor. After it bonds with its owner, it acts as a regular Cloak of Armor until its wearer achieves a new level of experience. At that point, the cloak could suddenly manifest the power of a Cloak of Shadows or become an even stronger Cloak of Armor with even more SDC or a higher AR. The owner gains another level of experience and the cloak suddenly gains the ability of an Icarus Cloak or a Cloak of the Manta or any number of other things. And so on and so on and so on.
The only limitations to the powers each item gains are 1> They are abilities best suited to each individual owner's OCC, for example, the above mentioned cloak, if worn by a Thief or Assassin, would most likely gain Cloak of Shadow powers and other stealth related abilities and powers, while if worn by a Soldier or Mercenary, it would most likely become tougher with increases in AR and/or SDC or grant resistances to certain forms of attack. 2> The new powers actually manifest at every 3rd level of experience gained by the owner. However, the owner must be actively using the item. You can't just buy it, put it away in storage for a few levels, then pull it out later as a more powerful item. 3> Finally, these items, once bonded to a particular person, it will not work as a magic item/weapon for anyone but the owner. They will function properly for their owners only! If one is loaned to someone or lost or stolen, it will cease to function as a magical item and will work only as a normal item. Any powers or abilities the owner gains from the item that affects them personally, for example an attribute boost or a magical ability like throwing fireballs or whatnot, are immediately lost if the item is lost or stolen. Of course, these type of powers also immediately return if/when the item is regained.
So, with all of that said and done, do I have any takers? If so, tell me what you're looking for and I'll see what I can whip up for you. I'll just need to know what kind of item you're looking for, what your OCC is, and a general idea of the kind of powers you're looking for. Any questions you may have on these little gems will be addressed as they arise. Prices for these things are pretty much up in the air right now as they are still in the experimental phase. However, I am willing to let the first 10 of these beauties go for the price of a mere 10,000 gold! The only thing I will require is whatever feedback I can get on them, positive or negative, in an effort to see just how well they may sell in the future. Act now folks! This is a very limited time offer!
Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[Cinos]

"An interesting concept" A well dressed, if not foppish and overly trendy man, accompanied by an aged wizard, half his face heavily disfigured by burns, comments, "Mayhaps I have several young gentlemen interested in just such tools. A young con-artist, a man hoping for Imperial recruitment dreaming of making a name as a Jassinary, a hopeful wizard and a mystic who'd just as soon avoid fights then ever get into one. I'm sure they won't mind experimental tools, but I'm sure they won't be aware they're experiments either."

[JuliusCreed]

"An interesting concept" A well dressed, if not foppish and overly trendy man, accompanied by an aged wizard, half his face heavily disfigured by burns, comments, "Mayhaps I have several young gentlemen interested in just such tools. A young con-artist, a man hoping for Imperial recruitment dreaming of making a name as a Jassinary, a hopeful wizard and a mystic who'd just as soon avoid fights then ever get into one. I'm sure they won't mind experimental tools, but I'm sure they won't be aware they're experiments either."

The old man smiles broadly, giving the disfigured wizard a brief bow of respect before rummaging around behind the counter. "Thank you, my good man. Your appreciation for my work is welcomed. And their awareness of being experiments themselves is limited only by whatever information you provide them about these tools. I'll just need a rough idea of what exactly they are looking for along the lines of what form these tools will take. Though I do have a few suggestions..."

For the young con-artist... A pair of fine leather gloves that start off with granting a generous bonus to some of the skills of his trade, particularly Sleight of hand, Palming, Pick Pockets and Concealment. The bonus starts out at +10% and could go up to as high as +25% as they progress. Other granted powers that could manifest would be a bonus to the lad's PP attribute or, more likely, his MA attribute, especially if he specializes in actually running con games rather than outright thievery, a stealth type power or two such as Shadow Melding or even Invisibility, and at the higher levels of power he could see a manifestation of the deific gift of the Innocence of Panath (re. Dragons and Gods pg. 113) The form of the item could also be a ring or bracelet or other unassuming diadem of some sort.

For your would-be Jannisary... let's see, if memory serves the Jannisary primarilly focuses on the use of a shield, so how about we start with that. A shield that starts off being Indestructible. Then, depending entirely on the individual's combat focus, the powers it could gain vary widely. If he focuses strongly on defense, he could see it start to grant him resistances to certain forms of attack such as fire, electricity/lightning, and so on, the shield itself could start tossing around Forcefields to protect others from a distance, and it may even start to alter its shape some to allow for greater balance, thus granting some rather hefty bonuses to Parry in combat. If he takes a more offensive track, there's always the possibility of the shield starting to toss around Fireballs or Lightning Bolts, growing spikes or blade edges for bashing and slashing attacks or even growing to the point that it starts to act as a Medusa Shield (see an earlier post for details) And of course, if he's clever enough, he could balance his style of combat well enough to get a balanced mix of any of the powers listed.

The hopeful Wizard... How good is his vision, because for him I see a pair of spectacles. Simple reading glasses that allow him to read any written non-magical language. From there, the possibilities can be fairly obvious, from reading magical writings, such as wards or even Runes, to seeing beyond what normal vision allows, such as seeing the invisible or aura reading, all the way up to seeing the invisible energies of magic itself all about him, allowing him to flawlessly detect magical items, identify magically transformed creatures, or see the mystic energy being weaved around a fellow mage as he begins casting a spell. The possibilities are, quite frankly, mind boggling.

And finally, the pacifistic Mystic (heh)... This one will most likely want something to help in his endeavours at avoiding combat, so how about some robes that act as a Cloak of Armor to start out. As they grow, they will probably get tougher with increases in SDC and AR, especially if he isn't too good at avoiding getting hit. If he does get better at avoiding combat though, other powers could start to show up that enhance this ability such as Flight, Teleportation, or even the power to become Intangible like a ghost for limited periods. There's even a possibility of the robes becoming a better fighter for him, giving him generous combat bonuses as they guide him though the fight like an expert swordsman. Of course, he'll have to wear the robes for them to work in any way shape or form regardless, so I hope he's really a pacifist and not an outright coward.

Anyway, that's what I can offer to you suggestion-wise. If you have any other ideas on what they could use, please let me know. I'll be more than happy to fill any request to the best of my humble abilities.

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[bigwhitehound]

Sounds as if the shop is in a pocket dimension; with "Doors" connecting it to many different places. Maybe to other realities too.

Anyway.

A powerfully built mercenary wearing plate & chain armor and carrying a magic broadsword walks into the shop.
Morning! I hear you sell magic stuff (grunts in half dislike), I'll buy both types of cook pots, the icebox, 4 sets of magic patches, a 4 man Dimensional Tent, how much can I put in that anyway (?) and un....... do you have any (speaks quietly) personal grooming products? OH! I"ll be paying with Old Kingdom Dragon Coins if that's OK with you,... (Merc mumbles to self) "Where did I put that magic pocket bag?

[JuliusCreed]

Sounds as if the shop is in a pocket dimension; with "Doors" connecting it to many different places. Maybe to other realities too.

A sound theory... and just as viable as the other hundred or so I've heard

Anyway.

Oh, right... story time

A powerfully built mercenary wearing plate & chain armor and carrying a magic broadsword walks into the shop.
Morning! I hear you sell magic stuff (grunts in half dislike), I'll buy both types of cook pots, the icebox, 4 sets of magic patches, a 4 man Dimensional Tent, how much can I put in that anyway (?) and un....... do you have any (speaks quietly) personal grooming products? OH! I"ll be paying with Old Kingdom Dragon Coins if that's OK with you,... (Merc mumbles to self) "Where did I put that magic pocket bag?

The old man nods with a delighted smile to the new customer as he places his order, the requested items flying from the shelves to the counter as he names them off, all of them apparently delighted to have a new home with the merc. He also listens carefully to the questions posed, a bushy eyebrow arching a bit.
"Well the capacity of the 4 man dimensional tent are the equivalent of an actual 8 man tent. If you have any military training or experience, that's about equal to one of their standard issue GP Small Tents. Just don't try storing anything alive in there. As for...", his voice drops to a hushed whisper, "...personal grooming products... I have a selection of items right here that may interest you..."

Soap of Non-Scent: Like Aura of Non-Scent (PFRPG pg 259) but hate the messy spray, the fragile glass bottle and/or the fact that you look a little girly when you spritz the stuff on, tough guy? Then try Soap of Non-Scent! All the benefits of the original Aura of Non-Scent spray in a convenient soap! No more mess with a liquid spray! No more wasted product with a broken bottle! No more looking all sissified, Mr. Manly Man! Just wash up with this stuff and you'll smell like... well NOTHING!! Duration is largely dependent on the amount of washing done. A quick face and hands for supper wash up will last for the typical 20 minute duration. A full body scrub down will last for a full 8 hours! Cost: 1500 gold per ounce (one ounce is good for 3 full body scrubs or 12 quick washes.

Refreshing Mints: You just woke up from a long night in the field. Your hair's a mess, your clothes are rumpled, you smell like the booze passed around the fire last night and your mouth smells, and feels, like a small fuzzy creature died in it. This is a job for a Refreshing Mint! Just take one of these and before you can get your horse saddled you'll look and feel clean and fresh! Your hair will be styled and shiny, your breath will be minty fresh, even your clothes will be pressed and smell just off the line fresh. The effects last only as long as the state can be maintained, but let's face it, people are people and they will gewt dirty, so average duration seems to be about 5 hours before the wear and tear of the day really starts to show. Also, prolonged use of the Refreshing Mints without any actual bathing from time to time will result in a mild addiction to them. This addiction results in a growing tolerance to the effects of the Mints, and thus a need for larger and larger doses to get the desired effect. One could conceivably build a tolerance to the point that they are eating 20 or more of the Mints 3, 4, and 5 times a day just to keep a hair from falling out of place. The addiction has only one cure. An ice cold bath for a minimum of 30 minutes, making sure to scrub clean every inch of one's body. Cost: 1000 gold for a pack of 5 Refreshing Mints

If there's anything else I can get for you, let me know! I'll be happy to accomodate!

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!