Hmmm. Before I jump into that, let me muse for awhile.
Tomorrow, April 2, I turn 55.
I have never been bothered by age or getting older. I know a number of people who hate birthdays. I remember Erick Wujcik refused to celebrate his 30th. Sheesh. Me? I figure there’s nothing you can do about it so I embrace it. As far as I know, I’m in good health and I’m living my dream (though at times it has been a nightmare). My hair continues to turn white, but hey, I’m happy to have a nice crop of hair of any color. Besides, I love surprises and enjoy being showered with gifts.
As Erick would say, “It's all good.” This year though, I’ve been feeling glum. Not about turning another year older. That’s cool. I think I’m feeling a little worn out again, and disappointed in the way some things are going. Thundercloud Galaxy™ is nothing short of a great book, but the rewrites have taken me forever. The long hours are taking their toll. As for online sales, gah. Without a major new release in eight weeks, they’ve dropped into the crapper. I know things will pick up starting with Thundercloud Galaxy™, but I am soooo tired of the up and down cash flow. I’m frustrated about deadlines slipping too. There are just so many demands on me lately that even the good stuff, like the Creators Conference, seems to be weighing on me the past week.
Mainly though, I’ve been missing my Dad and Erick Wujcik a lot these past few weeks.
I think what sent me into Glumville, though, was something I had to read. It contained some unflattering things about me and speculation about Palladium Books. A bunch of old myths and half-truths, misrepresentations and bitterness stirred up old memories and emotions. Then, I learned about some bad things that happened to some good people I care about, and I’m thinking, “Man, life can really suck sometimes. Dang, I hate politics, egos, and the bull$#@+ games people play. What’s the point of it all?”
I talk to a friend, and she’s feeling the same way: She’s missing Erick and disappointed in the world, too. We commiserate for awhile and laugh a bit. Thursday has been a long, painful day. I get home around 9:30 PM, watch some TV and crash.
Friday morning starts out better. I’m feeling a bit more rested, talk to a couple of friends and get to work.
The mail arrives. In it is a birthday wish and a short story written by one of Palladium freelance writers as birthday gift. It’s good. Funny. It makes me laugh.
Then a package from my brother arrives via UPS. It contains season one of the Highlander TV series (I’ve never seen it), a fossil of a dinosaur tooth (you have no idea how appropriate it was that arrived today), a couple gift cards and love. I start to feel better.
I'm about to step out to run some errands, but by the front door are some packages the substitute mail delivery person set inside without even knocking to let us know they were there. Another example of someone who doesn’t care about his/her job. (Btw, our regular mail carrier is great.) One package is a large “flat.” It’s from one of my freelance artists. Only he doesn’t have a current assignment, so I can’t imagine what it might be.
Zipping it open is a gorgeous painting and a letter. The painting is a birthday gift. I’m blown away. I tear up a bit as I read the letter. It says in part:
“This piece marks the first time you and I worked together, so I can’t think of a better home for it than you. Please accept it as my gift for your birthday. You are the last of a dying breed and I can’t tell you how much I admire your tenacity. Here’s hoping you have the best birthday ever.”
Wow. Thanks D, for not only blowing my socks off with your generosity and warm words, but for snapping me out of my funk and reminding me that the world isn’t a hopeless cesspool filled with petty, self-serving twinks. Thank you for reminding me that the people who know me, know the truth, and know the real me. Thank you for reminding me that there are plenty of good people still left in the world and that I have an army of them in my corner. I am one lucky guy. And I can’t believe I own one of your paintings.
As I sit back to write this, I realize I’ve had a damn good week. I helped a young screenwriter brimming with talent. I had a good talk with another writer. I had fun with Carmen this week. Wayne and Alex and I laugh all the time. Wayne and I prevented Julius from getting incinerated (long story). Kathy has been kind and helpful as always. This afternoon, Alex told me how much our friendship means to him – we’ve been best friends since eighth grade. A wacky pal called to inform me he ate NINE lobsters and now holds second place at the restaurant. (The record holder ate 15!) The Rifter® #54 went to the printer yesterday. The printer has fast-tracked the printing for us and I approved the cover and interior pages just this afternoon, 24 hours after The Rifter® #54 was sent in. It will probably ship on our original release date of April 12, not the 14th. Going to my printer is like visiting a friend, and I had a nice chat with my printing rep. Thundercloud Galaxy™ is almost finished, the book is great, the author is a stand-up guy who has a good heart and the drive to become a hell of a writer someday. My life is rich with all the things that really matter.
Yeah, I think my 55th birthday is turning into one of the best ever, thanks to some of the most amazing, good, kind, creative people in the world. And that includes the Palladium fans.
Keep those imaginations burning bright. Keep the faith. Don’t let the Muggles and dweebs of the world get you down. Life is good. Find your magic and soar.
Sincerely,
Kevin Siembieda
Publisher, Writer and Game Designer
© Copyright April 1, 2011 Palladium Books Inc. All rights reserved.
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