Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[Alpha 11]

Arnie100: "Alright; class, who do we volunteer for the ice bucket challenge?"

(Edwards opens the door to his office and walks in and closes the door...suddenly...)

Edwards: "GGGGYYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" (As a dozen buckets of ice water is simultaneously dumped on target...)

(...Outside in the hallway...)

Nova: "What was that?!"
Dana: "Looks like they got Edwards..."
Nova: "With what?"
Dana: "Ice bucket challenge..."

(Medics wheel out Edwards frozen into a block of ice from his office...)

Dana: "Wasn't expecting that!"

Nova: "wait, don't you need to donate a bunch of money even if you do take the bucket?"

Louie: *Whistles while hitting "log out" from edward's bank account*

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: ""So; class, who's next on our list?"
Class:

(The school suddenly feels a shiver go up and down thejr spines)

[Alpha 11]

Arnie100: ""So; class, who's next on our list?"
Class:

(The school suddenly feels a shiver go up and down thejr spines)

[Defender_X]

And folks wonder why I come to class in a battlroid. And yes, I go to class in it too. The bribes to have it declared a service war machine were worth it. But MREs get old for lunch fast. And yes, I'm putting a tux on the thing too for prom.

I get the impression of this guy being the resident Shinichi Mechazawa(from Cromartie High School). His class rivals vary from the pranksters trying to fill his cockpit with mashed potatoes, to his extreme rival studying up on anti-mecha tactics and setting anti-armor mines in the guy's locker.

Ma Duce has a way of fixing things.

[Arnie100]

(Walking down the hall...)

Field Marshall Leonard: "So; Emerson...what's this 'ice bucket challenge' I've been hearing about?"
Gen. Emerson: "Well; Sir, it goes like this...(Looking up and noticing the large buckets and stops as Leonard...)"
Field Marshall Leonard: "Well? Spit it out! ( Suddenly, the buckets dump on target) GGGGGYYYYYAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Gen. Emerson" THAT; Sir, is the ice bucket challenge!"
Field Marshall Leonard: "My HAIR?! What about my HAIR?!"
Gen. Emerson: "Uhm..."
Field Marsnall Leonard: "NNNNNNNNNMMMNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

(The real reason Leonard has no hair)

[SRoss]

SRoss: "Wow! Who knew Hyperfleas could function in ice water!" (Pauses) "Hmm ... Probably shouldn't have sent the rest to the Ice Guard base for safe keeping."

[SRoss]

Arnie100: "So how'd the after-school sensha-dō program go?"

SRoss: "The new exchange student, Karno, got cliff-dived by a TOG II."

[Alpha 11]

And folks wonder why I come to class in a battlroid. And yes, I go to class in it too. The bribes to have it declared a service war machine were worth it. But MREs get old for lunch fast. And yes, I'm putting a tux on the thing too for prom.

I get the impression of this guy being the resident Shinichi Mechazawa(from Cromartie High School). His class rivals vary from the pranksters trying to fill his cockpit with mashed potatoes, to his extreme rival studying up on anti-mecha tactics and setting anti-armor mines in the guy's locker.

Ma Duce has a way of fixing things.

(Walking down the hall...)

Field Marshall Leonard: "So; Emerson...what's this 'ice bucket challenge' I've been hearing about?"
Gen. Emerson: "Well; Sir, it goes like this...(Looking up and noticing the large buckets and stops as Leonard...)"
Field Marshall Leonard: "Well? Spit it out! ( Suddenly, the buckets dump on target) GGGGGYYYYYAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Gen. Emerson" THAT; Sir, is the ice bucket challenge!"
Field Marshall Leonard: "My HAIR?! What about my HAIR?!"
Gen. Emerson: "Uhm..."
Field Marsnall Leonard: "NNNNNNNNNMMMNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

(The real reason Leonard has no hair)

SRoss: "Wow! Who knew Hyperfleas could function in ice water!" (Pauses) "Hmm ... Probably shouldn't have sent the rest to the Ice Guard base for safe keeping."

Arnie100: "So how'd the after-school sensha-dō program go?"

SRoss: "The new exchange student, Karno, got cliff-dived by a TOG II."

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Seems we're getting a bunch of new Karnos..."
SRoss: "Clones."
Arnie100: "We lose one every day. They're quite popular in my class as volunteers for my deminstrations."
SRoss: "Volunteers? Is that a polite way of saying 'sacrifice?'"
Arnie100: "What they don't know will kill them. Rand's taking it quite well. Though, I'm sure I can find something extra for him to do."

[Alpha 11]

Arnie100: "Seems we're getting a bunch of new Karnos..."
SRoss: "Clones."
Arnie100: "We lose one every day. They're quite popular in my class as volunteers for my deminstrations."
SRoss: "Volunteers? Is that a polite way of saying 'sacrifice?'"
Arnie100: "What they don't know will kill them. Rand's taking it quite well. Though, I'm sure I can find something extra for him to do."

[SRoss]

SRoss: "Ok Rand. For extra credit, open that crate I just got from the Ice Guard."

Rand: "Um, ok."

Rand opens the crate and a Mutant Polar Bear leaps out, scratching like mad. It grabs Rand and begins using him as a butt scratchier.

SRoss: (Watching from outside the room) "Hmm, What's it take to stop those things? Hang on Rand, I'm getting the liquid nitrogen!"

Rand:

[Arnie100]

(Out in the hallway...)

Nova: "I get nervous everytime I pass by The Defense Against The Dark Arts Class. What's that sound coming from there? Uhm, Dana..."
Dana: "YOU look! Remember what happened to my hair?!"
Nova: (Opens the door and hears this.) (And quickly closes the door...)
Dana: "Well?"
Nova: "You don't wanna know."

[SRoss]

Elsewhere...

SRoss: "Today class, we're going to learn how to convert the school's CT Camera network into a Scorpion Stare system."

[taalismn]

Defense Against Dark Arts Teacher: "Okay, Miss Sarah, tell me what your first response would be if, say, Sauron came into the room-"
"(.!.)"
Teacher: (banging side of head)"..okay, if any of you still have your hearing, perhaps that was not a good example. Miss Sarah, you do realize that's coming out of your damage deposit, though you may have to negotiate separately with Professors Winkle and Dethstrom; they were quite fond of their automobiles, I understand."

[Arnie100]

(In the hallway...)

Rand: "HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP MMMMEEEEEEE!!!!" (As we see him being chased by a horde of angry.girls scratching like mad...)
SRoss: "What'd he do?!"
Arnie100:(Munching on a donut) "Something about Hyperfleas in the gjrls' bathroom..."
SRoss: "Got any more thermite powder?"
Arnie100: " Classroom's closet."

[Alpha 11]

SRoss: "Ok Rand. For extra credit, open that crate I just got from the Ice Guard."

Rand: "Um, ok."

Rand opens the crate and a Mutant Polar Bear leaps out, scratching like mad. It grabs Rand and begins using him as a butt scratchier.

SRoss: (Watching from outside the room) "Hmm, What's it take to stop those things? Hang on Rand, I'm getting the liquid nitrogen!"

Rand:

(Out in the hallway...)

Nova: "I get nervous everytime I pass by The Defense Against The Dark Arts Class. What's that sound coming from there? Uhm, Dana..."
Dana: "YOU look! Remember what happened to my hair?!"
Nova: (Opens the door and hears this.) (And quickly closes the door...)
Dana: "Well?"
Nova: "You don't wanna know."

Elsewhere...

SRoss: "Today class, we're going to learn how to convert the school's CT Camera network into a Scorpion Stare system."

Defense Against Dark Arts Teacher: "Okay, Miss Sarah, tell me what your first response would be if, say, Sauron came into the room-"
"(.!.)"
Teacher: (banging side of head)"..okay, if any of you still have your hearing, perhaps that was not a good example. Miss Sarah, you do realize that's coming out of your damage deposit, though you may have to negotiate separately with Professors Winkle and Dethstrom; they were quite fond of their automobiles, I understand."

(In the hallway...)

Rand: "HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP MMMMEEEEEEE!!!!" (As we see him being chased by a horde of angry.girls scratching like mad...)
SRoss: "What'd he do?!"
Arnie100:(Munching on a donut) "Something about Hyperfleas in the gjrls' bathroom..."
SRoss: "Got any more thermite powder?"
Arnie100: " Classroom's closet."

[taalismn]

Rand: "Can I take this semester as online courses and home study instead?"
"Don't you have a mobile address?"
Rand: "Harder to track down, harder to hit. That's sort of the point."

[Alpha 11]

Rand: "Can I take this semester as online courses and home study instead?"
"Don't you have a mobile address?"
Rand: "Harder to track down, harder to hit. That's sort of the point."

[SRoss]

SRoss: "Ok Rand, just make sure to install OFCUT ..."

Rand: "YYYYAAAARRRRRGGGG!!!!"

SRoss: (Sigh) "Before, you download your Defense Against The Dark Arts homework..."

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Rand...are you trying to tell me your phone deleted your homework?"
Rand: "I swear its true!"
Arnie100: "I see. Well, Got something else for you. The cages in the Magical Beasts class needs some cleaning I understand..."
Rand: "It wasn't my fault...I don't wanna go in there..."
Arnie100: "Sarah, can you make sure he gets there? Thank you!"
Sarah:
Rand: "It wasn't my fault..."

[Alpha 11]

SRoss: "Ok Rand, just make sure to install OFCUT ..."

Rand: "YYYYAAAARRRRRGGGG!!!!"

SRoss: (Sigh) "Before, you download your Defense Against The Dark Arts homework..."

Arnie100: "Rand...are you trying to tell me your phone deleted your homework?"
Rand: "I swear its true!"
Arnie100: "I see. Well, Got something else for you. The cages in the Magical Beasts class needs some cleaning I understand..."
Rand: "It wasn't my fault...I don't wanna go in there..."
Arnie100: "Sarah, can you make sure he gets there? Thank you!"
Sarah:
Rand: "It wasn't my fault..."

Poor Rand.

[taalismn]

"Good gosh, Principle, things are looking bad!"
"And the school year hasn't begun yet."
"...ah...what?"
"Ah, Lazlo, the school year properly begins next week. THis was just summer school. Preparatory work for the school term proper. Next week, the student body proper will arrive from summer vacation to begin classes..Lazlo, put the knife away and button up your sleeve cuffs right this moment!"

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "I'm set. (Opens cabinet in office loaded with booze, guns and ammo)"

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "I'm set. (Opens cabinet in office loaded with booze, guns and ammo)"

That will last you...through study hall.

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Don't worry...there's more where that came from...(hic)..."

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "Don't worry...there's more where that came from...(hic)..."

"The primary reason for our high turnover rate of teachers? Cirrhosis of the liver."

[Alpha 11]

"Good gosh, Principle, things are looking bad!"
"And the school year hasn't begun yet."
"...ah...what?"
"Ah, Lazlo, the school year properly begins next week. THis was just summer school. Preparatory work for the school term proper. Next week, the student body proper will arrive from summer vacation to begin classes..Lazlo, put the knife away and button up your sleeve cuffs right this moment!"

Arnie100: "I'm set. (Opens cabinet in office loaded with booze, guns and ammo)"

Arnie100: "I'm set. (Opens cabinet in office loaded with booze, guns and ammo)"

That will last you...through study hall.

Arnie100: "Don't worry...there's more where that came from...(hic)..."

Arnie100: "Don't worry...there's more where that came from...(hic)..."

"The primary reason for our high turnover rate of teachers? Cirrhosis of the liver."

[Arnie100]

(In The Dark Arts class...)

Rand: "Is he drunk again?"
Arnie100: "I heard THAT! And I also hear the Megalodons need their teeth cleaned...(hic)..."
Rand: "Not AGAIN!"
Arnie100: "Then you can clean up after the Raptors..."
Rand: " It's not FAIR!"

[taalismn]

"Dana, you think you maybe took the 'ice bucket challenge' a bit too far with Professor Fredericks?"
"No. Not at all. I thought it was rather clever myself."
"Ramping up the humidifier AND his AC? THey've had to bring in JACKHAMMERS to remove the glacier in in his office if they want to get him out before next spring's thaw."

[Arnie100]

"Mrs. Sarah? Rand seems to be missing...can you bring him back?"
"Do you want him alive or..."
"Preferrably alive. The T-Rex needs to be fed..."

[Alpha 11]

(In The Dark Arts class...)

Rand: "Is he drunk again?"
Arnie100: "I heard THAT! And I also hear the Megalodons need their teeth cleaned...(hic)..."
Rand: "Not AGAIN!"
Arnie100: "Then you can clean up after the Raptors..."
Rand: " It's not FAIR!"

"Dana, you think you maybe took the 'ice bucket challenge' a bit too far with Professor Fredericks?"
"No. Not at all. I thought it was rather clever myself."
"Ramping up the humidifier AND his AC? THey've had to bring in JACKHAMMERS to remove the glacier in in his office if they want to get him out before next spring's thaw."

"Mrs. Sarah? Rand seems to be missing...can you bring him back?"
"Do you want him alive or..."
"Preferrably alive. The T-Rex needs to be fed..."

Scary, she seems to be jumping threads.

[taalismn]

Rand: "STUNT DOUBLE!"
Sarah: "I was WONDERING when he'd remember that...."
Stage Technician: "Hold on a moment before the T-rex scene...Karno and Rand aren't exactly the same size and we're having trouble getting Karno into Rand's school jersey..."
Sarah: "Different build?"
StageTech: "That, and he refuses to let go of the dressing room doorframe long enough for us to pull the jersey over his arms."

[Alpha 11]

Rand: "STUNT DOUBLE!"
Sarah: "I was WONDERING when he'd remember that...."
Stage Technician: "Hold on a moment before the T-rex scene...Karno and Rand aren't exactly the same size and we're having trouble getting Karno into Rand's school jersey..."
Sarah: "Different build?"
StageTech: "That, and he refuses to let go of the dressing room doorframe long enough for us to pull the jersey over his arms."

Glad he finally remembered.

[Arnie100]

Karno: "NONONONONONONONONO!!!" ((Holding on to the frame of the door for dear life)
Stage Technician: "This won't hurt a bit..."
Karno: "It's going to hurt a LOT!!!!"
Sarah: "For you...maybe...and for Rand, also..."
Rand: "ME?? Why ME?!"
Sarah: "You still have to feed the T-Rex! The stunt double's only for getting to the T-Rex..."
Rand: "It's not fair...it's not FAIR!!"

[taalismn]

Rand: "It's not fair...it's not FAIR!!"

Haydonite: "THAT'S -MY-LINE! NO STEALING IT!...okay, everybody's suddenly looking at me...maybe drawing attention to myself wasn't the best idea..."

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Mrs. Sarah, kindly demonstrate for the Haydonite what a fully-loaded plasma cannon can do, please? And; no, the Haydonite doesn't get a stunt double..."
Sarah: "This'll be fun!"
Haydonite: "Awareness, SAVE ME!!"

[taalismn]

Awareness(trapped in an isolated hard drive in the school Computer Lab(Hacking Practice System): <<"Veidt, you stupid $#!+!">>

[SRoss]

SRoss: "And now class, Mr. Nichols will show us how to REALLY $%^&* a sentient computer."

[taalismn]

SRoss: "And now class, Mr. Nichols will show us how to REALLY $%^&* a sentient computer."

Nichols: "So, young Miss Romanova, what did you do for your hacking exercise?"
Nene: "I gave it what I call the 'MLP Friendship Virus'!"
Awareness: <<"....eeewwww....Pinky Pie.....">>

[Alpha 11]

Karno: "NONONONONONONONONO!!!" ((Holding on to the frame of the door for dear life)
Stage Technician: "This won't hurt a bit..."
Karno: "It's going to hurt a LOT!!!!"
Sarah: "For you...maybe...and for Rand, also..."
Rand: "ME?? Why ME?!"
Sarah: "You still have to feed the T-Rex! The stunt double's only for getting to the T-Rex..."
Rand: "It's not fair...it's not FAIR!!"

Rand: "It's not fair...it's not FAIR!!"

Haydonite: "THAT'S -MY-LINE! NO STEALING IT!...okay, everybody's suddenly looking at me...maybe drawing attention to myself wasn't the best idea..."

Arnie100: "Mrs. Sarah, kindly demonstrate for the Haydonite what a fully-loaded plasma cannon can do, please? And; no, the Haydonite doesn't get a stunt double..."
Sarah: "This'll be fun!"
Haydonite: "Awareness, SAVE ME!!"

Awareness(trapped in an isolated hard drive in the school Computer Lab(Hacking Practice System): <<"Veidt, you stupid $#!+!">>

SRoss: "And now class, Mr. Nichols will show us how to REALLY $%^&* a sentient computer."

SRoss: "And now class, Mr. Nichols will show us how to REALLY $%^&* a sentient computer."

Nichols: "So, young Miss Romanova, what did you do for your hacking exercise?"
Nene: "I gave it what I call the 'MLP Friendship Virus'!"
Awareness: <<"....eeewwww....Pinky Pie.....">>

[taalismn]

Nichols: "That's...actually quite frightening. All I did was transpose all of the linked Haydonite consciousnesses into one of my old video games..."

NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM
Haydonite 1:< "NOTHING STOPS IT!">
Haydonite 2:<"LOOK OUTm THERE"S ONE OF THOSE ENERGY MASSES! IT'S -#sisst!bwah-bwha-bwha#
Haydonite 3: <"FASTER, YOU FOOLS! IT GOT TWO! IT'S OUT FOR BLOOD!" >

[Alpha 11]

Nichols: "That's...actually quite frightening. All I did was transpose all of the linked Haydonite consciousnesses into one of my old video games..."

NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM
Haydonite 1:< "NOTHING STOPS IT!">
Haydonite 2:<"LOOK OUTm THERE"S ONE OF THOSE ENERGY MASSES! IT'S -#sisst!bwah-bwha-bwha#
Haydonite 3: <"FASTER, YOU FOOLS! IT GOT TWO! IT'S OUT FOR BLOOD!" >

[SRoss]

Awareness: "All the possible video games out there, AND HE HAD TO PUT ME IN THIS ONE!!!"

Game: "Welcome programs."

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Hey...Dr. Nichols...I haven't seen these in years!! Do you mind??"
Louie: "Have at it!
Arnie100: "I could be up all night playing these!"
Haydonite: <"Uh-oh..".>
Awareness: <"Awareness, save me!! Wait...I am the Awareness!! We're doomed!">

[SRoss]

Edwards: "The Defense Against Dark Arts course is our most expensive class! And the year's barely started! Do you have anything to say in your defense!?!"

Arnie100: "Well..."

Edwards: (Pointing to an old looking wine cabinet) "And what's this!?! Your latest purchase!?!"

Arnie100: "Umm..."

Edwards: (Flinging open the cabinet) "IIIEEEE!!! ARRRGGG!!!"

Elswhere...

Lisa: (Writing in her notebook) "Number 44778 - Possessed by creature in the dybbuk box."

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Doesn't anyone read the warning labels in my class?"
SRoss: "You don't have any warning labels..."
Arnie100: "I forgot about those! Should I...?"
SRoss: "Let 'em learn on their own!"

[taalismn]

Harry Potter: "I'm rather glad I graduated before the school's motto became 'survival of the fittest'."

[Arnie100]

Harry Potter: "I'm rather glad I graduated before the school's motto became 'survival of the fittest'."

Ron: "I still have nightmares about that class...(shudders)"
Hermione: "I rather enjoyed the demonstrations!"
Harry: "Those were kind of fun watching that Rand guy..."
Hermione: "That's what he gets for trying to hit on me..."
Harry: "So you're the one that's been volunteering him?!"
Hermione:
Ron: "Remind not to get you angry with me."

[SRoss]

taalismn rounds the corner and encounters a group of young women wearing school uniforms, two sizes too small, with VERY short skirts.

taalismn: "What are YOU doing here!?!"

Sisters of Cleaning: "We're the school's Morals Committee,aka; the Hall Monitors. Are you trying to draw helpless schoolgirls into a Loleta-like relationship with members of the teaching staff? Abusing your ultimate power over them to force them to submit to your perverted desires!?!"

taalismn: "OH GOD NO!!!"

Head Sister: "You ... you ... MONSTER!!!"

[taalismn]

Harry: "Honestly, back in the day all we had to wrry about was bog trolls and creepy nemesises coming back from the dead. These days, high schools seem to suffer from ramapant wardrobe malfunctions, zombie plagues, and alien invasions. Sometimes several at the same time."
Hermione: "Bet you had a zombie plan you were just itching to try out."
Harry: "Damn straight."