Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[Alpha 11]

They tried manning with the door entrances with GMP robots....
"Have. A. Nice. Day." (*robot waves as student walks by with the better portion of a Garfish cruiser's arsenal in her knapsack.)

"Them robots are smarter then we give them credit for."

"Ahem. Welcome to HyperDimensional Calculus. First lesson, those advanced calculators you all brought with you? Turn them off, throw them out. HyperDimensional Calculus has just about NOTHING to do with advanced mathematics. HyperDimensional Calculus has more in common with philosophy than any 'hard' science you are familiar with. HyperDimensional Calculus is more the upfront pondering and virtual experiencing of realms of probability and possibility that beggar human and computative linear thought, and move beyond even the ability of quantum computers to fully embrace. FEELING and EMOTION have as much to do with HyperDimensional Calculus as equations. When dealing with the substance of HyperDimensional Calculus, one must be acutely aware of the Observer Effect, in that the mere act of OBSERVING the subject, changes it. This is the equivalent, in the simplest possible example, of your math homework worksheets changing as you are reading them. That's an ever-simplification of the realm of HyperDimensional Calculus, where even contemplating possible solutions to a problem, changes the problem and its possible solutions. Under ideal circumstances, then, it is possible to guide the ultimate solution to a problem by mere thought.
The problem is, it's not that simple. The universe has a way of responding to attempts to change it in such manner by its sheer infinity. The universe has a nasty habit of stating I'M BIGGER THAN YOU. -YOU- CHANGE. "

[SRoss]

"Ahem. Welcome to HyperDimensional Calculus. First lesson, those advanced calculators you all brought with you? Turn them off, throw them out. HyperDimensional Calculus has just about NOTHING to do with advanced mathematics. HyperDimensional Calculus has more in common with philosophy than any 'hard' science you are familiar with. HyperDimensional Calculus is more the upfront pondering and virtual experiencing of realms of probability and possibility that beggar human and computative linear thought, and move beyond even the ability of quantum computers to fully embrace. FEELING and EMOTION have as much to do with HyperDimensional Calculus as equations. When dealing with the substance of HyperDimensional Calculus, one must be acutely aware of the Observer Effect, in that the mere act of OBSERVING the subject, changes it. This is the equivalent, in the simplest possible example, of your math homework worksheets changing as you are reading them. That's an ever-simplification of the realm of HyperDimensional Calculus, where even contemplating possible solutions to a problem, changes the problem and its possible solutions. Under ideal circumstances, then, it is possible to guide the ultimate solution to a problem by mere thought.
The problem is, it's not that simple. The universe has a way of responding to attempts to change it in such manner by its sheer infinity. The universe has a nasty habit of stating I'M BIGGER THAN YOU. -YOU- CHANGE. "

Astraea: (Putting her hand up) "Oh, oh! is the answer purple?"

Taalismn:

[taalismn]

Megaverse: "NO. MAUVE."

[SRoss]

Toombs woke with a start. He didn't understand how or why. But he somehow felt that the Megaverse was giving him the big middle finger...

[taalismn]

Toombs woke with a start. He didn't understand how or why. But he somehow felt that the Megaverse was giving him the big middle finger...

And at the same time, an entire class of high school students went albino-white pale in stark raving terror. A few seconds later, the screaming began.

[Arnie100]

Toombs woke with a start. He didn't understand how or why. But he somehow felt that the Megaverse was giving him the big middle finger...

And at the same time, an entire class of high school students went albino-white pale in stark raving terror. A few seconds later, the screaming began.

Arnie100: "What?? I just took them to Miss Minmei's cooking classs...how'd I know she was chasing Kyle and Edwards around with a butcher knife? Okay, the part about Kyle and Edwards naked might have something to do with it..."

[taalismn]

[
Arnie100: "What?? I just took them to Miss Minmei's cooking classs...how'd I know she was chasing Kyle and Edwards around with a butcher knife? Okay, the part about Kyle and Edwards naked might have something to do with it..."

Student: "Ho-hum...just more faculty hijinx. We'll repress the memory for later. No, it's the idea that any form of Megaversal consciousness relates in any way to MAUVE."
Student2: "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

[Alpha 11]

"Ahem. Welcome to HyperDimensional Calculus. First lesson, those advanced calculators you all brought with you? Turn them off, throw them out. HyperDimensional Calculus has just about NOTHING to do with advanced mathematics. HyperDimensional Calculus has more in common with philosophy than any 'hard' science you are familiar with. HyperDimensional Calculus is more the upfront pondering and virtual experiencing of realms of probability and possibility that beggar human and computative linear thought, and move beyond even the ability of quantum computers to fully embrace. FEELING and EMOTION have as much to do with HyperDimensional Calculus as equations. When dealing with the substance of HyperDimensional Calculus, one must be acutely aware of the Observer Effect, in that the mere act of OBSERVING the subject, changes it. This is the equivalent, in the simplest possible example, of your math homework worksheets changing as you are reading them. That's an ever-simplification of the realm of HyperDimensional Calculus, where even contemplating possible solutions to a problem, changes the problem and its possible solutions. Under ideal circumstances, then, it is possible to guide the ultimate solution to a problem by mere thought.
The problem is, it's not that simple. The universe has a way of responding to attempts to change it in such manner by its sheer infinity. The universe has a nasty habit of stating I'M BIGGER THAN YOU. -YOU- CHANGE. "

Astraea: (Putting her hand up) "Oh, oh! is the answer purple?"

Taalismn:

Megaverse: "NO. MAUVE."

Toombs woke with a start. He didn't understand how or why. But he somehow felt that the Megaverse was giving him the big middle finger...

Toombs woke with a start. He didn't understand how or why. But he somehow felt that the Megaverse was giving him the big middle finger...

And at the same time, an entire class of high school students went albino-white pale in stark raving terror. A few seconds later, the screaming began.

Toombs woke with a start. He didn't understand how or why. But he somehow felt that the Megaverse was giving him the big middle finger...

And at the same time, an entire class of high school students went albino-white pale in stark raving terror. A few seconds later, the screaming began.

Arnie100: "What?? I just took them to Miss Minmei's cooking classs...how'd I know she was chasing Kyle and Edwards around with a butcher knife? Okay, the part about Kyle and Edwards naked might have something to do with it..."

[
Arnie100: "What?? I just took them to Miss Minmei's cooking classs...how'd I know she was chasing Kyle and Edwards around with a butcher knife? Okay, the part about Kyle and Edwards naked might have something to do with it..."

Student: "Ho-hum...just more faculty hijinx. We'll repress the memory for later. No, it's the idea that any form of Megaversal consciousness relates in any way to MAUVE."
Student2: "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

[SRoss]

"Hello! Bleachco[sup]tm[/sup] I'd like to place a Brain Bleach order... How many cases? No, I think you misunderstand. I'd like to order it by the truckload!"

[taalismn]

"Hello! Bleachco[sup]tm[/sup] I'd like to place a Brain Bleach order... How many cases? No, I think you misunderstand. I'd like to order it by the truckload!"

"Can I just have a direct pipeline installed from your refinery?"

[Arnie100]

"Hello! Bleachco[sup]tm[/sup] I'd like to place a Brain Bleach order... How many cases? No, I think you misunderstand. I'd like to order it by the truckload!"

"Can I just have a direct pipeline installed from your refinery?"

Better yet, can we just have a plant built next to the school?

[Alpha 11]

"Hello! Bleachco[sup]tm[/sup] I'd like to place a Brain Bleach order... How many cases? No, I think you misunderstand. I'd like to order it by the truckload!"

"Hello! Bleachco[sup]tm[/sup] I'd like to place a Brain Bleach order... How many cases? No, I think you misunderstand. I'd like to order it by the truckload!"

"Can I just have a direct pipeline installed from your refinery?"

"Hello! Bleachco[sup]tm[/sup] I'd like to place a Brain Bleach order... How many cases? No, I think you misunderstand. I'd like to order it by the truckload!"

"Can I just have a direct pipeline installed from your refinery?"

Better yet, can we just have a plant built next to the school?

[taalismn]

[

Better yet, can we just have a plant built next to the school?

Because one good bad accident and it's Amnesiaville all around.

[Alpha 11]

[

Better yet, can we just have a plant built next to the school?

Because one good bad accident and it's Amnesiaville all around.

[taalismn]

"Hello, my name is Johnathon Wolff, and welcome to Sex Ed. ....It's not what you think."

[Arnie100]

"Hello, my name is Johnathon Wolff, and welcome to Sex Ed. ....It's not what you think."

(Minmei walks into the classroom with a 12-gauge shotgun...)

Minmei: "You're teaching WHAT?!"
Wolff: "I'll behave...promise!"
Class:

[SRoss]

Let me get this straight, all the Sex Ed students took the Abstinence Pledge!

Meanwhile... In the Sex Ed classroom...

Wolf is lying in the fotel position, having just accidentally shown the class the Reges' Honeymoon tape.

[taalismn]

Wolff: "That snapping sound you hear is my probation officer opening his pistol holster..."

[Alpha 11]

"Hello, my name is Johnathon Wolff, and welcome to Sex Ed. ....It's not what you think."

"Hello, my name is Johnathon Wolff, and welcome to Sex Ed. ....It's not what you think."

(Minmei walks into the classroom with a 12-gauge shotgun...)

Minmei: "You're teaching WHAT?!"
Wolff: "I'll behave...promise!"
Class:

Let me get this straight, all the Sex Ed students took the Abstinence Pledge!

Meanwhile... In the Sex Ed classroom...

Wolf is lying in the fotel position, having just accidentally shown the class the Reges' Honeymoon tape.

Wolff: "That snapping sound you hear is my probation officer opening his pistol holster..."

[taalismn]

"I thought we agreed on tranquilizer darts."
"And I heard from every parent of a female taking your class that if you break with the agreement, they want you to eat lead."

[Arnie100]

Wolff: "Besides, who would want ME dead?"

(In walks Catherine and Minmei...)

Wolff: "I shoukd've kept my mouth shut..."

[taalismn]

"Miss Mann, you were supposed to LOOK at the Flower of Life for your XenoBotany class, not EAT it."
"Ah, I thought it was a snack?"

[Alpha 11]

"I thought we agreed on tranquilizer darts."
"And I heard from every parent of a female taking your class that if you break with the agreement, they want you to eat lead."

Wolff: "Besides, who would want ME dead?"

(In walks Catherine and Minmei...)

Wolff: "I shoukd've kept my mouth shut..."

"Miss Mann, you were supposed to LOOK at the Flower of Life for your XenoBotany class, not EAT it."
"Ah, I thought it was a snack?"

[taalismn]

Wolff: "Moving right along. Class, I'm here to lecture you on responsible sexual behavior. Why? Because IRresponsible sexual behavior can have serious and far-reaching consequences. For a good example of what comes of unprotected sex, I offer you 'Exhibit A'..."
Lynn Kyle: (suddenly realizing the entire class is looking at him and that he is, in fact, sitting behind a placard reading 'A')".....hheeeeeyyyyy..."

[Arnie100]

Minmei: "My aunt would have to agree with that..."
Kyle: "That's just not.right!"

[SRoss]

Wolff: "Then there's exhibit B."

(Activates hologram)

Zor: "Corg! I am your father!"

Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

[taalismn]

Wolff: "And because for some godforaken reason, we like to do things in threes around here, 'Exhibit C'."
(A picture of Karno and his brothers appear)
Wolff: "...the sad thing being, 'C' is the result of a PLANNED, eugenic selection program...(picture of the Three Robotech Masters appears)...obviously administered by idiots who may have been the result of poor planning on the part of their...or rather HIS, parents to begin with. Hence, 'far-reaching consequences. But I understand that that sort of thing will be covered in your 'Biology and Scientific Ethics' module for social studies."

[Arnie100]

Wolff: "Then there's exhibit B."

(Activates hologram)

Zor: "Corg! I am your father!"

Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Regess: "You know, son, he's right!"
Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

[taalismn]

Rand: "The resemblance is all in the eyebrows..."

[Alpha 11]

Wolff: "Moving right along. Class, I'm here to lecture you on responsible sexual behavior. Why? Because IRresponsible sexual behavior can have serious and far-reaching consequences. For a good example of what comes of unprotected sex, I offer you 'Exhibit A'..."
Lynn Kyle: (suddenly realizing the entire class is looking at him and that he is, in fact, sitting behind a placard reading 'A')".....hheeeeeyyyyy..."

Minmei: "My aunt would have to agree with that..."
Kyle: "That's just not.right!"

Wolff: "Then there's exhibit B."

(Activates hologram)

Zor: "Corg! I am your father!"

Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Wolff: "And because for some godforaken reason, we like to do things in threes around here, 'Exhibit C'."
(A picture of Karno and his brothers appear)
Wolff: "...the sad thing being, 'C' is the result of a PLANNED, eugenic selection program...(picture of the Three Robotech Masters appears)...obviously administered by idiots who may have been the result of poor planning on the part of their...or rather HIS, parents to begin with. Hence, 'far-reaching consequences. But I understand that that sort of thing will be covered in your 'Biology and Scientific Ethics' module for social studies."

[Alpha 11]

Wolff: "Then there's exhibit B."

(Activates hologram)

Zor: "Corg! I am your father!"

Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Regess: "You know, son, he's right!"
Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Rand: "The resemblance is all in the eyebrows..."

[SRoss]

Wolff: "Then there's exhibit B."

(Activates hologram)

Zor: "Corg! I am your father!"

Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Regess: "You know, son, he's right!"
Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Wolff: "Of course this means Minmei is your step mom."

Minmei: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

[taalismn]

Factor in time travel....That's one funny-looking family tree...

"Miss Minmei, maybe you better skip the geneaology class..."

[Alpha 11]

Wolff: "Then there's exhibit B."

(Activates hologram)

Zor: "Corg! I am your father!"

Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Regess: "You know, son, he's right!"
Corg: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Wolff: "Of course this means Minmei is your step mom."

Minmei: "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Factor in time travel....That's one funny-looking family tree...

"Miss Minmei, maybe you better skip the geneaology class..."

[taalismn]

"And next, in Home Economics, you of the post Rain of Death generation will learn how to prepare something other than government-issued military rations, as taught by the few survivors of France and Italy, who are deadset on re-establishing their countries' culinary traditions, regardless of how many of you are killed in the process."
"The Strong Survive."
"Not if your soup is any indication!"
"You implying something, noodle-twizzler?"
"Not implying, factually stating."
snik!
zinccc!
:"Gentlemen, you are here to TEACH, not to FIGHT. Leave that for 'Iron Chef'."

[Chronicler]

"And next, in Home Economics, you of the post Rain of Death generation will learn how to prepare something other than government-issued military rations, as taught by the few survivors of France and Italy, who are deadset on re-establishing their countries' culinary traditions, regardless of how many of you are killed in the process."
"The Strong Survive."
"Not if your soup is any indication!"
"You implying something, noodle-twizzler?"
"Not implying, factually stating."
snik!
zinccc!
:"Gentlemen, you are here to TEACH, not to FIGHT. Leave that for 'Iron Chef'."

Chronicler: "Funny that the faculty keeps on say the student's will die in this school. Little does anyone know the U.E.G has commissioned me to perform resurrection spells."

Student: "Yeah but I hate rolling on the random chart. Last time I was a newt."

Chronicler: "But you got better."

[taalismn]

[

Chronicler: "Funny that the faculty keeps on say the student's will die in this school. Little does anyone know the U.E.G has commissioned me to perform resurrection spells."

Student: "Yeah but I hate rolling on the random chart. Last time I was a newt."

Chronicler: "But you got better."

Student: "If you overlook the trunk growing out of my face."

[Chronicler]

[

Chronicler: "Funny that the faculty keeps on say the student's will die in this school. Little does anyone know the U.E.G has commissioned me to perform resurrection spells."

Student: "Yeah but I hate rolling on the random chart. Last time I was a newt."

Chronicler: "But you got better."

Student: "If you overlook the trunk growing out of my face."

Chronicler: "The U.E.G doesn't cover polymorph spells, you are going to have to pay up front."

Student: "How much."

Chronicler: "Your first born"

Student: "WHAT!?!"

Chronicler: "Equivalent exchange. You become a human, I get a human."

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Chronicler, make sure if Edwards and Kyle get resurrected as something that can be squished under a certain Admiral's boot..."

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "Chronicler, make sure if Edwards and Kyle get resurrected as something that can be squished under a certain Admiral's boot..."

Breetai: "EDWARDS!!! WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID ABOUT KAZIANNA?"
Edwards:(looking at the bottom of Breetai's raised boot) "...entirely in jest, I assure you..."

[SRoss]

Kyle: "Hey babe! What's shaking?" (Pats Sarah on the bum)

Rest of scene has been deleted on account of it being so messy as to cause several veteran BSS Troopers to throw up in their armour.

[Alpha 11]

"And next, in Home Economics, you of the post Rain of Death generation will learn how to prepare something other than government-issued military rations, as taught by the few survivors of France and Italy, who are deadset on re-establishing their countries' culinary traditions, regardless of how many of you are killed in the process."
"The Strong Survive."
"Not if your soup is any indication!"
"You implying something, noodle-twizzler?"
"Not implying, factually stating."
snik!
zinccc!
:"Gentlemen, you are here to TEACH, not to FIGHT. Leave that for 'Iron Chef'."

"And next, in Home Economics, you of the post Rain of Death generation will learn how to prepare something other than government-issued military rations, as taught by the few survivors of France and Italy, who are deadset on re-establishing their countries' culinary traditions, regardless of how many of you are killed in the process."
"The Strong Survive."
"Not if your soup is any indication!"
"You implying something, noodle-twizzler?"
"Not implying, factually stating."
snik!
zinccc!
:"Gentlemen, you are here to TEACH, not to FIGHT. Leave that for 'Iron Chef'."

Chronicler: "Funny that the faculty keeps on say the student's will die in this school. Little does anyone know the U.E.G has commissioned me to perform resurrection spells."

Student: "Yeah but I hate rolling on the random chart. Last time I was a newt."

Chronicler: "But you got better."

[

Chronicler: "Funny that the faculty keeps on say the student's will die in this school. Little does anyone know the U.E.G has commissioned me to perform resurrection spells."

Student: "Yeah but I hate rolling on the random chart. Last time I was a newt."

Chronicler: "But you got better."

Student: "If you overlook the trunk growing out of my face."

[

Chronicler: "Funny that the faculty keeps on say the student's will die in this school. Little does anyone know the U.E.G has commissioned me to perform resurrection spells."

Student: "Yeah but I hate rolling on the random chart. Last time I was a newt."

Chronicler: "But you got better."

Student: "If you overlook the trunk growing out of my face."

Chronicler: "The U.E.G doesn't cover polymorph spells, you are going to have to pay up front."

Student: "How much."

Chronicler: "Your first born"

Student: "WHAT!?!"

Chronicler: "Equivalent exchange. You become a human, I get a human."

Arnie100: "Chronicler, make sure if Edwards and Kyle get resurrected as something that can be squished under a certain Admiral's boot..."

Arnie100: "Chronicler, make sure if Edwards and Kyle get resurrected as something that can be squished under a certain Admiral's boot..."

Breetai: "EDWARDS!!! WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID ABOUT KAZIANNA?"
Edwards:(looking at the bottom of Breetai's raised boot) "...entirely in jest, I assure you..."

Kyle: "Hey babe! What's shaking?" (Pats Sarah on the bum)

Rest of scene has been deleted on account of it being so messy as to cause several veteran BSS Troopers to throw up in their armour.

[taalismn]

"We're going to have get out the Big Hoover for this job..."

[Arnie100]

"Can't we just use a Rug Doctor?"

[taalismn]

"Perhaps it would be easier to simply burn down the entire wing."
"That's going to happen anyway."

[Alpha 11]

"We're going to have get out the Big Hoover for this job..."

"Can't we just use a Rug Doctor?"

"Perhaps it would be easier to simply burn down the entire wing."
"That's going to happen anyway."

[SRoss]

SRoss: "You know, it's really hard to teach Rugby when they keep annihilating the ball."

Arnie100: "Leave it to me."

(Chants something and a large roundish object appears in the middle of the field.)

Splugorth: "What the duce!?!"

SRoss: (Blows whistle to start the match)

[guardiandashi]

SRoss: "You know, it's really hard to teach Rugby when they keep annihilating the ball."

Arnie100: "Leave it to me."

(Chants something and a large roundish object appears in the middle of the field.)

Splugorth: "What the duce!?!"

SRoss: (Blows whistle to start the match)

Sarah Looks at the Splugorth and says wait I think that is too big for a proper ball.
She then looks at the sideline and says "OOOHHH!!!!" and runs of the field quickly... as the new players step onto the field. Including Gypsy Danger, and the rest of the Jagers.

Sarah looks at the field from the nearest bomb shelter, so what is that game "Ultimate Rugby?"

[SRoss]

"Clearly she forgot, today's match is against the Shemarrians."

[taalismn]

"Clearly she forgot, today's match is against the Shemarrians."

"And the Shemarrians think they're playing Buzkashi."