Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[SRoss]

taalismn: (Facepalms)

SRoss: "I'll get the Proton Packs, you bring the thermite."

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "I just need the proper tools, setting and a few WILLING (though unwilling will work in a pinch) volunteers for my demonstrations, I 'm sure I could come up with something truly terrifying to behold!"

(Spotting a couple of gurneys with two recognizable bound and gagged figures of Kyle and Edwards...)

Arnie100: "Sweet! I can continue my demonstrations!"
Edwards and Kyle:

This is like, "How many F-18s can I buy for a Vietnamese dong?"

[Arnie100]

taalismn: (Facepalms)

SRoss: "I'll get the Proton Packs, you bring the thermite."

Arnie100: "WHAT? You didn't think I was gonna actually SUMMON something...did you? Spoiling my fun..."
SRoss: "You teach DEFENSE against the Dark Arts NOT Dark Arts!" (Facepalms)
taalismn: "You have to wait till next year for that..."
Kyle and Edwards: "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou..." (As they run out of the class at top speed)
Arnie100: "It was.just gonna be a demonstration not an actual sacrifice!!"

[taalismn]

Well, it's all fun and games until somebody actually nicks somebody else and draws blood just they mangle a key phrase as Europa reaches aphelion...
Then it's claws and tentacles and screaming and running and end of the world..

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "I would've had it under control. I have Annie on speed dial."

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "I would've had it under control. I have Annie on speed dial."

*BEEP*"You have reached the residence of Annie LaBelle, I'm not home right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Arnie100, if this is you calling me to get me to terrorize somebody or fix one of your messes...get in line with the other petitioners for my favor. Have a nice day!*ding*"

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Alright. Fine. No sacrifices for a while. Sheesh."
Victi - VOLUNTEERS: "We're saved!!"

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "Alright. Fine. No sacrifices for a while. Sheesh."
Victi - VOLUNTEERS: "We're saved!!"

"Hi, we're the Monument City Highschool #69 Girls' Thugee Society; can you come in here and help us for a moment? We...ah...have some furniture we need help with."

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "You can have my volunteers!"
Victi-VOLUNTEERS: "We're DOOMED!"

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "You can have my volunteers!"
Victi-VOLUNTEERS: "We're DOOMED!"

However, a quick pickpocket's pass over the Victi-VOLUNTEERS' pockets will quickly convince the thugge-club that these folks aren't even worth garroting for their wallets.

[Alpha 11]

SRoss: "What happened to you?"
Arnie100: "Cut my hand demonstrating to my students how to make a proper sacrifice...(Peaks into the Infirmary)...On the other hand, I got a First Aid kit in my class..."
taalismn: "Why? What'd you see?"
SRoss: (Peaks into the Infirmary...)
taalismn: "What? C'mon...(takes a peak)...yeah, better off with a First Aid kit."

SRoss: "What happened to you?"
Arnie100: "Cut my hand demonstrating to my students how to make a proper sacrifice...(Peaks into the Infirmary)...On the other hand, I got a First Aid kit in my class..."
taalismn: "Why? What'd you see?"
SRoss: (Peaks into the Infirmary...)
taalismn: "What? C'mon...(takes a peak)...yeah, better off with a First Aid kit."

SRoss: "I never thought I'd say this, but given a choice, I'd rather take my chances with Waashu."

Arnie100: "HEEYYY!! I can do a proper sacrifice! If I could just find a volunteer..."

Frankly I'm a little concerned what we'd get with an Arnie-blood sacrifice...

"I am the feared and horrible G'znarth the Grotesque. Behold my tentacled majesty and know True Fear!!! "

[Alpha 11]

Arnie100: "You can have my volunteers!"
Victi-VOLUNTEERS: "We're DOOMED!"

However, a quick pickpocket's pass over the Victi-VOLUNTEERS' pockets will quickly convince the thugge-club that these folks aren't even worth garroting for their wallets.

Arnie100: "I just need the proper tools, setting and a few WILLING (though unwilling will work in a pinch) volunteers for my demonstrations, I 'm sure I could come up with something truly terrifying to behold!"

(Spotting a couple of gurneys with two recognizable bound and gagged figures of Kyle and Edwards...)

Arnie100: "Sweet! I can continue my demonstrations!"
Edwards and Kyle:

taalismn: (Facepalms)

SRoss: "I'll get the Proton Packs, you bring the thermite."

Should we have a nuke or orbital bombardment on stand by?

Arnie100: "I just need the proper tools, setting and a few WILLING (though unwilling will work in a pinch) volunteers for my demonstrations, I 'm sure I could come up with something truly terrifying to behold!"

(Spotting a couple of gurneys with two recognizable bound and gagged figures of Kyle and Edwards...)

Arnie100: "Sweet! I can continue my demonstrations!"
Edwards and Kyle:

This is like, "How many F-18s can I buy for a Vietnamese dong?"

taalismn: (Facepalms)

SRoss: "I'll get the Proton Packs, you bring the thermite."

Arnie100: "WHAT? You didn't think I was gonna actually SUMMON something...did you? Spoiling my fun..."
SRoss: "You teach DEFENSE against the Dark Arts NOT Dark Arts!" (Facepalms)
taalismn: "You have to wait till next year for that..."
Kyle and Edwards: "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou..." (As they run out of the class at top speed)
Arnie100: "It was.just gonna be a demonstration not an actual sacrifice!!"

Well, it's all fun and games until somebody actually nicks somebody else and draws blood just they mangle a key phrase as Europa reaches aphelion...
Then it's claws and tentacles and screaming and running and end of the world..

Arnie100: "I would've had it under control. I have Annie on speed dial."

Arnie100: "I would've had it under control. I have Annie on speed dial."

*BEEP*"You have reached the residence of Annie LaBelle, I'm not home right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Arnie100, if this is you calling me to get me to terrorize somebody or fix one of your messes...get in line with the other petitioners for my favor. Have a nice day!*ding*"

Arnie100: "Alright. Fine. No sacrifices for a while. Sheesh."
Victi - VOLUNTEERS: "We're saved!!"

Arnie100: "Alright. Fine. No sacrifices for a while. Sheesh."
Victi - VOLUNTEERS: "We're saved!!"

"Hi, we're the Monument City Highschool #69 Girls' Thugee Society; can you come in here and help us for a moment? We...ah...have some furniture we need help with."

Arnie100: "You can have my volunteers!"
Victi-VOLUNTEERS: "We're DOOMED!"

[Arnie100]

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

[taalismn]

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

[Arnie100]

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

Edwards: "Well, you do have GIRLISHLY long hair!"
Kyle: "HHHEEEYYY!!! Just because I did that kabuki thing in college...oh, right you didn't know about that..."
Edwards: "Kabu -- WHAAATT?!"

[Alpha 11]

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

Edwards: "Well, you do have GIRLISHLY long hair!"
Kyle: "HHHEEEYYY!!! Just because I did that kabuki thing in college...oh, right you didn't know about that..."
Edwards: "Kabu -- WHAAATT?!"

Is that that some thing the main male charter form Frontier did?

[Arnie100]

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

Edwards: "Well, you do have GIRLISHLY long hair!"
Kyle: "HHHEEEYYY!!! Just because I did that kabuki thing in college...oh, right you didn't know about that..."
Edwards: "Kabu -- WHAAATT?!"

Is that that some thing the main male charter form Frontier did?

Alto: "I AM A GUY!! At least I've got two girls fighting over ME!"
Edwards: "He does have a point...every girl YOU meet wants to kill you afterwards."
Kyle: "Oh, shut up..."

[Alpha 11]

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

"So...What's next for the new year?"
"Let's see...explosions, gunfire, gratuitous violence and sex, man-chasing, Edwards and Kyle mishaps..."
The usual?"
The more things change, the more they stay the same."
"AYUP."

Kyle: "And apparently people think I'm a WOMAN."
Edwards: "So manly you are."
Kyle: "...."

Edwards: "Well, you do have GIRLISHLY long hair!"
Kyle: "HHHEEEYYY!!! Just because I did that kabuki thing in college...oh, right you didn't know about that..."
Edwards: "Kabu -- WHAAATT?!"

Is that that some thing the main male charter form Frontier did?

Alto: "I AM A GUY!! At least I've got two girls fighting over ME!"
Edwards: "He does have a point...every girl YOU meet wants to kill you afterwards."
Kyle: "Oh, shut up..."

[Arnie100]

"So it's the start of the new year..."
"TEEEEEENNNNNCCCCHHIIII"
"AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM
"There goes the Science Class..."
"TTTTTeeeEEEENNNNnnnCCCCHHHIII!!"

[taalismn]

"TTTTTEEEETTHHHHHHEEERRRRRRBBBBBBBAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!"
#POW#*KRAK*WWWHHHHAMMMMMM
"AIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!"
WUNCHATHUDASLAMMAHCRUNCHACRASHBANG
"...and there goes the gymnasium again..."

[Arnie100]

(Cut to scene of Tenchi being chased down the halls by a mob of schoolgirls...)

"AAAAIIIEEEEEE!!!!"

(Cut to scene of mob of schoolgirls being chased down the halls by Ryoko and Ayeka...)

Ryoko and Ayeka:

[taalismn]

"...it's dark in here..."
"...and it stinks..."
"...lemme hit the lights..."
"...what? WAIT! NO!...."
*click*snar-
///FWHUMPBF!///
"Cafeteria's exploded again."
"I thought we'd had that gas leak FIXED?!"

[Arnie100]

"Maybe it's a good idea we lost the cafeteria?"
"Why?"
"At least the food won't be trying to kill us..."
"True."

[taalismn]

"Maybe it's a good idea we lost the cafeteria?"
"Why?"
"At least the food won't be trying to kill us..."
"True."

Witnesses are pretty sure they saw several mystery meat patties making a run for it out of the flames....

[SRoss]

Protocola Machine: (Running around in circles in the flames) "Why! Why! Why was I given the capacity to feel pain!?!"

[Alpha 11]

"So it's the start of the new year..."
"TEEEEEENNNNNCCCCHHIIII"
"AAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM
BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM
"There goes the Science Class..."
"TTTTTeeeEEEENNNNnnnCCCCHHHIII!!"

"TTTTTEEEETTHHHHHHEEERRRRRRBBBBBBBAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!"
#POW#*KRAK*WWWHHHHAMMMMMM
"AIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!"
WUNCHATHUDASLAMMAHCRUNCHACRASHBANG
"...and there goes the gymnasium again..."

(Cut to scene of Tenchi being chased down the halls by a mob of schoolgirls...)

"AAAAIIIEEEEEE!!!!"

(Cut to scene of mob of schoolgirls being chased down the halls by Ryoko and Ayeka...)

Ryoko and Ayeka:

"...it's dark in here..."
"...and it stinks..."
"...lemme hit the lights..."
"...what? WAIT! NO!...."
*click*snar-
///FWHUMPBF!///
"Cafeteria's exploded again."
"I thought we'd had that gas leak FIXED?!"

Looks like they will need to rebuild the WHOLE school..., again.

"Maybe it's a good idea we lost the cafeteria?"
"Why?"
"At least the food won't be trying to kill us..."
"True."

"Maybe it's a good idea we lost the cafeteria?"
"Why?"
"At least the food won't be trying to kill us..."
"True."

Witnesses are pretty sure they saw several mystery meat patties making a run for it out of the flames....

Protocola Machine: (Running around in circles in the flames) "Why! Why! Why was I given the capacity to feel pain!?!"

[Arnie100]

///FWHUMPBF!///

SRoss: "There goes Edwards' office..."
Arnie100: (Munching on an apple) "Ayup."

(Everyone turns and stares at Arnie100...)

Arnie100: "WHAT?! I didn't do nothin' (still munching on apple)"

[taalismn]

Blowing up Edwards' office is almost considered a rite of passage for students of MCH#69.

[Alpha 11]

///FWHUMPBF!///

SRoss: "There goes Edwards' office..."
Arnie100: (Munching on an apple) "Ayup."

(Everyone turns and stares at Arnie100...)

Arnie100: "WHAT?! I didn't do nothin' (still munching on apple)"

Blowing up Edwards' office is almost considered a rite of passage for students of MCH#69.

[taalismn]

IT gets to be a more interesting rite after Edwards catches on, and starts booby-trapping his own office against would-be student arsonists.

[Alpha 11]

IT gets to be a more interesting rite after Edwards catches on, and starts booby-trapping his own office against would-be student arsonists.

I think the would most likely just encourage some of the students to continue doing it or to start doing it.

[Arnie100]

Edwards: "I'll be safe in my own office, you'll see!! You'll ne -- (CLICK) OH. NO."

///FWHUMPBF!///

[SRoss]

"And this is why I told you we should use prefab sections to build the school."

[taalismn]

Edwards: "I'll be safe in my own office, you'll see!! You'll ne -- (CLICK) OH. NO."
]

And there's always:
"Okay...door is undisturbed...doesn't mean anything...up into the ventilation system, after undoing the right screws...turn AWAY from my office, not tpwards it...quick shimmy down the ventilation trunk towards the nurse's office, stop at the duct-taped insulation, lift the far corner, disarm the claymore, lift it CAREFULLY, drop down into the crawl space, swinging rift to avoid the bear trap, one-two-three-four-steps, then grab the overhead bars and shimmy across the pressure plates, drop down behind the false wall, PULL, not push, check the outer office, step in, drop below the laser beams, crawl behind the desk, disarm the inner claymore, check my swivel chair for traps, lift the decoy stick...okay, clear, stand up, check my scotch drawer for traps, okay, clear....pull-*TWANG* damn it, snare trap! WHERE'D THAT COME FROM!? Oh, right, -I- set it...AND the grenade attached it..*sigh* I hate myself sometimes-"
##BBBOOOOMMMM##

[SRoss]

"That's almost as funny as the time we snuck into Edwards and Kyle's apartment and moved all the furniture 1mm."

[taalismn]

"That's almost as funny as the time we snuck into Edwards and Kyle's apartment and moved all the furniture 1mm."

And the two of them went nuts trying to figure out what ELSE had been done...

[Arnie100]

Edwards: "I KNOW THIS SOFA WAS MOVED!!"
Kyle: "From WHERE?!"
Edwards: "Help me push it to the le -- (CLICK) NOT AGAIN..."

"I wonder if there ever gonna figure out it's a dud..."
"What? And spoil the fun?"

[taalismn]

Edwards: "I KNOW THIS SOFA WAS MOVED!!"
Kyle: "From WHERE?!"
Edwards: "Help me push it to the le -- (CLICK) NOT AGAIN..."

"I wonder if there ever gonna figure out it's a dud..."
"What? And spoil the fun?"

"Is it a dud, or a time delay to make me THINK it's a dud?! Or maybe it's a trigger for ANOTHER charge hidden someplace ELSE in this ro-""
"JUST. THROW. IT. AWAY!!!!!!"

[Alpha 11]

Edwards: "I'll be safe in my own office, you'll see!! You'll ne -- (CLICK) OH. NO."

///FWHUMPBF!///

"And this is why I told you we should use prefab sections to build the school."

Edwards: "I'll be safe in my own office, you'll see!! You'll ne -- (CLICK) OH. NO."
]

And there's always:
"Okay...door is undisturbed...doesn't mean anything...up into the ventilation system, after undoing the right screws...turn AWAY from my office, not tpwards it...quick shimmy down the ventilation trunk towards the nurse's office, stop at the duct-taped insulation, lift the far corner, disarm the claymore, lift it CAREFULLY, drop down into the crawl space, swinging rift to avoid the bear trap, one-two-three-four-steps, then grab the overhead bars and shimmy across the pressure plates, drop down behind the false wall, PULL, not push, check the outer office, step in, drop below the laser beams, crawl behind the desk, disarm the inner claymore, check my swivel chair for traps, lift the decoy stick...okay, clear, stand up, check my scotch drawer for traps, okay, clear....pull-*TWANG* damn it, snare trap! WHERE'D THAT COME FROM!? Oh, right, -I- set it...AND the grenade attached it..*sigh* I hate myself sometimes-"
##BBBOOOOMMMM##

"That's almost as funny as the time we snuck into Edwards and Kyle's apartment and moved all the furniture 1mm."

"That's almost as funny as the time we snuck into Edwards and Kyle's apartment and moved all the furniture 1mm."

And the two of them went nuts trying to figure out what ELSE had been done...

Edwards: "I KNOW THIS SOFA WAS MOVED!!"
Kyle: "From WHERE?!"
Edwards: "Help me push it to the le -- (CLICK) NOT AGAIN..."

"I wonder if there ever gonna figure out it's a dud..."
"What? And spoil the fun?"

Edwards: "I KNOW THIS SOFA WAS MOVED!!"
Kyle: "From WHERE?!"
Edwards: "Help me push it to the le -- (CLICK) NOT AGAIN..."

"I wonder if there ever gonna figure out it's a dud..."
"What? And spoil the fun?"

"Is it a dud, or a time delay to make me THINK it's a dud?! Or maybe it's a trigger for ANOTHER charge hidden someplace ELSE in this ro-""
"JUST. THROW. IT. AWAY!!!!!!"

[Arnie100]

Edwards: "Come ON...there's gotta be something going on with this!"
Kyle: "GIVE ME THAT!! (Grabs the mine and runs over to the window to throw it and click) OH. COME. ON!!"
Edwards: "Oh. That's where I put that other one! I forgot about that! My bad..."
Kyle: "I. REALLY. HATE. YOU.."

[SRoss]

Edwards and Kyle find themselves by the river Styx, there is an empty boat nearby.

Edwards: "Where the hell is Charon?"

Kyle: "Look, a note."

Be back in 5 minutes...
...Charon

Kyle: (Sits down) "Well nothing to do but wait."

###CLICK!###

Edwards: "Oh you got to be kid..."

###BOOM!###

In a nearby shack...
Baron Samedi: "Whot was dat mon?"

Charon: "It's not important. You in or do you fold?"

[taalismn]

T.R. Edwards---First man to be 'lived'(as opposed to 'killed').

[Alpha 11]

Edwards: "Come ON...there's gotta be something going on with this!"
Kyle: "GIVE ME THAT!! (Grabs the mine and runs over to the window to throw it and click) OH. COME. ON!!"
Edwards: "Oh. That's where I put that other one! I forgot about that! My bad..."
Kyle: "I. REALLY. HATE. YOU.."

Edwards and Kyle find themselves by the river Styx, there is an empty boat nearby.

Edwards: "Where the hell is Charon?"

Kyle: "Look, a note."

Be back in 5 minutes...
...Charon

Kyle: (Sits down) "Well nothing to do but wait."

###CLICK!###

Edwards: "Oh you got to be kid..."

###BOOM!###

In a nearby shack...
Baron Samedi: "Whot was dat mon?"

Charon: "It's not important. You in or do you fold?"

T.R. Edwards---First man to be 'lived'(as opposed to 'killed').

[taalismn]

So, in a way Lisa Hayes Hunter has defeated herself(as opposed to T.R. actually winning a victory on his own merits); she's become so proficient at killing him that it's come full circle; the afterlife is refusing to take him*, effectively making him unkillable for the time being. Kill him and he comes back.

*This is playing havoc with paradox and temporal mechanics, since at some point death is going to HAVE to take him permanently, unless he winds up being the only thing to survive the heat-death or big crunch of the universe. But for now, the afterlife is not accepting him until some sort of final decision is made.

[SRoss]

Worry not, Lisa planned for this, there are after all many underworlds.

Meanwhile, in Hel, a loud explosion startles the goddess awake...

Hel: (Looking at the charred Edwards and Kyle) "And who the hell are you?"

[taalismn]

Edwards: "Tried the whole karmic reincarnation thing...didn't work out."
Kyle: "Uhm?"
Edwards: "Came back as a snake...next thing I know, somebody's dropped a genetically engineered MONGOOSE on me."
Kyle:"..."
Edwards: "After that I came back as a tapeworm in a goat's gut, just as they were testing a new deworming medicine."
Kyle: "..."
Edwards: "Then I was a bacterium, happily making multiple copies of myself inside some skid-row schmoe, until he got into clinical trials of a new super-antibiotic...I began to get the idea after that..."

[Arnie100]

Worry not, Lisa planned for this, there are after all many underworlds.

Meanwhile, in Hel, a loud explosion startles the goddess awake...

Hel: (Looking at the charred Edwards and Kyle) "And who the hell are you?"

Lisa: "Minmei, how many hells do the Chinese have?"
Minmei: "I dunno...there's a lot of them. Why?"
Lisa: "Nothing..."

(Meanwhile Down Below...)

Edwards: "I got a bad feeling..."
Kyle:
Charon: "YES!!! ( fist pumps) FINALLY MAYBE I CAN GET SOME PEACE AND QUIET DOWN HERE!!!"

[SRoss]

Edwards: (Looking at Kyle) "I don't know how we ended up in the hell of the Horny Dragons! But I blame you!!!"

[taalismn]

Edwards: "Okay....what are we doing in Bayonne, New Jersey?"
Kyle: "It's apparently somebody's definition of 'Hell'."

(I've never been to Bayonne. nut I have been through part of Newark...which, at the time and place I was passing, looked like cyberpunk hell...container port on one side, gasoline refinery with flame-belching burnoff towers on the other side...and plane landing lights visible through aforementioned flames coming in to land at the nearby Newark airport)

[Alpha 11]

So, in a way Lisa Hayes Hunter has defeated herself(as opposed to T.R. actually winning a victory on his own merits); she's become so proficient at killing him that it's come full circle; the afterlife is refusing to take him*, effectively making him unkillable for the time being. Kill him and he comes back.

*This is playing havoc with paradox and temporal mechanics, since at some point death is going to HAVE to take him permanently, unless he winds up being the only thing to survive the heat-death or big crunch of the universe. But for now, the afterlife is not accepting him until some sort of final decision is made.

You do know, there are other hells out there, right?

Worry not, Lisa planned for this, there are after all many underworlds.

Meanwhile, in Hel, a loud explosion startles the goddess awake...

Hel: (Looking at the charred Edwards and Kyle) "And who the hell are you?"

Edwards: "Tried the whole karmic reincarnation thing...didn't work out."
Kyle: "Uhm?"
Edwards: "Came back as a snake...next thing I know, somebody's dropped a genetically engineered MONGOOSE on me."
Kyle:"..."
Edwards: "After that I came back as a tapeworm in a goat's gut, just as they were testing a new deworming medicine."
Kyle: "..."
Edwards: "Then I was a bacterium, happily making multiple copies of myself inside some skid-row schmoe, until he got into clinical trials of a new super-antibiotic...I began to get the idea after that..."