Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[taalismn]

"Bury it?"
"Paint it pink!!!!"
"Remove anything that isn't nailed down. Anything that can be pried loose isn't nailed down."
"Nuke it. Nuke it repeatedly."

[glitterboy2098]

"for crying out loud. you slap a US airforce logo on it and name it Enterprise"
"the observing Colonel will refrain from giving suggestions to the students please."

[taalismn]

"for crying out loud. you slap a US airforce logo on it and name it Enterprise"
"the observing Colonel will refrain from giving suggestions to the students please."

"Jack, we're only here to observe..."

[Arnie100]

"I still think Enter --"
"JACK."
"Alright, alright...anyone wanna go fishing?"
"ABSOLUTELY NO."

[taalismn]

"Bah, everybody knows you call a ship 'Yamato' or 'Soyakaze', or-"
"*A-HEM* No comments from you either, Captain!"

[guardiandashi]

"I still think Enter --"
"JACK."
"Alright, alright...anyone wanna go fishing?"
"ABSOLUTELY NO."

Sarah: What are you fishing for?
wait you are fishing in a pond with no fish in it.... Bah that's no fun

A device suddenly appears floating that has a little sign that says please press play, in about 50 languages with a little play symbol following most of them.

When play is depressed there is a brief scan of the room, and a holographic playback occurs.
it stars this guy named "Kodiak" and shows him fishing in various places. The first is off a "dock or pier" attached to a ruined building surrounded by water (a nearby also ruined building says Miami Hilton) And this huge Leviathan isk monster tries to eat him (and succeeds) shortly followed by a massive explosion.
this scene is followed by others in progressively (a LOT smaller) bodies of water finally ending up with a person in front of Kodiak stepping in a mud puddle in the scene it is obvious it is only 1/4 inch deep, and only a little bigger than 1 foot in diameter... but One of those Leviathan Fish lunges out of it to get Kodiak...

Everyone in the room

[taalismn]

Sucks when you have an Elemental-aligned apex predator that can use any convenient interface of its medium to hunt prey...a puddle, a drinking fountain, a punch bowl...

[guardiandashi]

Sucks when you have an Elemental-aligned apex predator that can use any convenient interface of its medium to hunt prey...a puddle, a drinking fountain, a punch bowl...

pretty much, they were predatory giant fish porting from the/an elemental plane of water to attack him as a "joke" from his girlfriend/wife ... I don't remember the exact details, because its been years and it was my brothers char.

[Alpha 11]

Miriya: "Not only am I the mayor of this colony ship...I have a daughter who's in a music band...and I had to fight off an alien attack."

"What's the first thing to do when refurbishing a derelict superdimensional fortress? Class?"
"Disconnect the weapons systems from the power supply?"
"Check the engine spaces for hidden compartments and contraband?"
"Look to see if the keys are still in the ignition?"
"Test the structural integrity above the antigravity units?"
"Fumigate for pods, eggs, and cocoons."
"Launch it into the sun."
"Go check the freezer compartments for frozen alien space babes!"
"Look in the glove compartments for spare change!"
"...this is going to be a hard semester...."

"Hope they're no soace monsters?"
"Don't go in alone?!"
"Send in the newbies!"
Seriously...hope there's no space monsters!"

"Bury it?"
"Paint it pink!!!!"
"Remove anything that isn't nailed down. Anything that can be pried loose isn't nailed down."
"Nuke it. Nuke it repeatedly."

"for crying out loud. you slap a US airforce logo on it and name it Enterprise"
"the observing Colonel will refrain from giving suggestions to the students please."

Great Stargate reference!

"for crying out loud. you slap a US airforce logo on it and name it Enterprise"
"the observing Colonel will refrain from giving suggestions to the students please."

"Jack, we're only here to observe..."

And Daniel would most likely have said that.

"I still think Enter --"
"JACK."
"Alright, alright...anyone wanna go fishing?"
"ABSOLUTELY NO."

[Alpha 11]

"Bah, everybody knows you call a ship 'Yamato' or 'Soyakaze', or-"
"*A-HEM* No comments from you either, Captain!"

"I still think Enter --"
"JACK."
"Alright, alright...anyone wanna go fishing?"
"ABSOLUTELY NO."

Sarah: What are you fishing for?
wait you are fishing in a pond with no fish in it.... Bah that's no fun

A device suddenly appears floating that has a little sign that says please press play, in about 50 languages with a little play symbol following most of them.

When play is depressed there is a brief scan of the room, and a holographic playback occurs.
it stars this guy named "Kodiak" and shows him fishing in various places. The first is off a "dock or pier" attached to a ruined building surrounded by water (a nearby also ruined building says Miami Hilton) And this huge Leviathan isk monster tries to eat him (and succeeds) shortly followed by a massive explosion.
this scene is followed by others in progressively (a LOT smaller) bodies of water finally ending up with a person in front of Kodiak stepping in a mud puddle in the scene it is obvious it is only 1/4 inch deep, and only a little bigger than 1 foot in diameter... but One of those Leviathan Fish lunges out of it to get Kodiak...

Everyone in the room

Sucks when you have an Elemental-aligned apex predator that can use any convenient interface of its medium to hunt prey...a puddle, a drinking fountain, a punch bowl...

Sucks when you have an Elemental-aligned apex predator that can use any convenient interface of its medium to hunt prey...a puddle, a drinking fountain, a punch bowl...

pretty much, they were predatory giant fish porting from the/an elemental plane of water to attack him as a "joke" from his girlfriend/wife ... I don't remember the exact details, because its been years and it was my brothers char.

That was a joke? Would hate to see what she would do to him if see was mad. And what show is this?

[guardiandashi]

That was a joke? Would hate to see what she would do to him if see was mad. And what show is this?

a "rifts campaign" my friend who was gm'ing ran

[taalismn]

[
pretty much, they were predatory giant fish porting from the/an elemental plane of water to attack him as a "joke" from his girlfriend/wife ... I don't remember the exact details, because its been years and it was my brothers char.

That was a joke? Would hate to see what she would do to him if see was mad. [/quote]

What else? No sex. And simultaneous curses: Mega-Libido and Sexual Frustration*. ("aaauuuuccckkkkkhhhhhkk!!!")

*Or in a literal pinch, the Ludicrous Magic spell Shrink Body Part will do just as well.

[Kargan3033]

[
pretty much, they were predatory giant fish porting from the/an elemental plane of water to attack him as a "joke" from his girlfriend/wife ... I don't remember the exact details, because its been years and it was my brothers char.

That was a joke? Would hate to see what she would do to him if see was mad.

What else? No sex. And simultaneous curses: Mega-Libido and Sexual Frustration*. ("aaauuuuccckkkkkhhhhhkk!!!")

*Or in a literal pinch, the Ludicrous Magic spell Shrink Body Part will do just as well.

Which is also a setup for Sunken Chest jokes as well as Tater-Tot jokes.

[Alpha 11]

That was a joke? Would hate to see what she would do to him if see was mad. And what show is this?

a "rifts campaign" my friend who was gm'ing ran

Wow.

[
pretty much, they were predatory giant fish porting from the/an elemental plane of water to attack him as a "joke" from his girlfriend/wife ... I don't remember the exact details, because its been years and it was my brothers char.

That was a joke? Would hate to see what she would do to him if see was mad.

What else? No sex. And simultaneous curses: Mega-Libido and Sexual Frustration*. ("aaauuuuccckkkkkhhhhhkk!!!")

*Or in a literal pinch, the Ludicrous Magic spell Shrink Body Part will do just as well.[/quote]

[
pretty much, they were predatory giant fish porting from the/an elemental plane of water to attack him as a "joke" from his girlfriend/wife ... I don't remember the exact details, because its been years and it was my brothers char.

That was a joke? Would hate to see what she would do to him if see was mad.

What else? No sex. And simultaneous curses: Mega-Libido and Sexual Frustration*. ("aaauuuuccckkkkkhhhhhkk!!!")

*Or in a literal pinch, the Ludicrous Magic spell Shrink Body Part will do just as well.

Which is also a setup for Sunken Chest jokes as well as Tater-Tot jokes.

[taalismn]

Somewhere, Dolza's heads explodes from all the implied innuendo...

[Alpha 11]

Somewhere, Dolza's heads explodes from all the implied innuendo...

[taalismn]

"Tommy."
"Dana."
"Why is a pin-up centerfold shot of MY MOTHER adorning the inside of your locker?"
oh shi-....

[SRoss]

"Quick! Anyone know if Tommy gets character shielding!?!"

[Alpha 11]

"Tommy."
"Dana."
"Why is a pin-up centerfold shot of MY MOTHER adorning the inside of your locker?"
oh shi-....

[taalismn]

"Quick! Anyone know if Tommy gets character shielding!?!"

Dana gets Shield Penetration...

[Kargan3033]

"Quick! Anyone know if Tommy gets character shielding!?!"

Dana gets Shield Penetration...

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

[taalismn]

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

"YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!!!"
(cue 50 Ton Hammer of Doom looming over hapless male)

[Alpha 11]

"Quick! Anyone know if Tommy gets character shielding!?!"

Nope!

"Quick! Anyone know if Tommy gets character shielding!?!"

Dana gets Shield Penetration...

"Quick! Anyone know if Tommy gets character shielding!?!"

Dana gets Shield Penetration...

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

"YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!!!"
(cue 50 Ton Hammer of Doom looming over hapless male)

[taalismn]

<Burnbook Account FaceRipper logging on. Loading Burnbook 3.01. What school are you interested in seeing?>
(type-type-type)
"Monument City Highschool #69."
<What have you got to say about your classmates?>
(type-type-type)
"Isn't that Sterling girl such a freakin' prima-donna? Just because her freakin' parents were oh-big ACES she acts like the oh-so-modest queen of the school-"
(type-type-type)
"-and don't get me started on that Satori #####. Isn't she an even bigger FREAK than Sterling, with her green hair and her ####attitude, like she's the school secret police or something. ##### oughta be taken down one of these days-"
"Pretty brave, ain't you, hiding behind the internet?"
"Yeah, ain't it great?"
(looks up, sees the surrounding black-armored figures)
"uh-oh-"
<Burnbook Account TeenRipper has logged off.>

[Alpha 11]

<Burnbook Account FaceRipper logging on. Loading Burnbook 3.01. What school are you interested in seeing?>
(type-type-type)
"Monument City Highschool #69."
<What have you got to say about your classmates?>
(type-type-type)
"Isn't that Sterling girl such a freakin' prima-donna? Just because her freakin' parents were oh-big ACES she acts like the oh-so-modest queen of the school-"
(type-type-type)
"-and don't get me started on that Satori #####. Isn't she an even bigger FREAK than Sterling, with her green hair and her ####attitude, like she's the school secret police or something. ##### oughta be taken down one of these days-"
"Pretty brave, ain't you, hiding behind the internet?"
"Yeah, ain't it great?"
(looks up, sees the surrounding black-armored figures)
"uh-oh-"
<Burnbook Account TeenRipper has logged off.>

[taalismn]

[

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

Cue Monument City Highschool #69 Sex Education Class:
"Whu-wee! WE learn how to do it!"
"Somehow I think otherwise; I think they're going to do everything to prevent us FROM ever breeding..."

[Chronicler]

[

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

Cue Monument City Highschool #69 Sex Education Class:
"Whu-wee! WE learn how to do it!"
"Somehow I think otherwise; I think they're going to do everything to prevent us FROM ever breeding..."

"Contrary to belief sex-ed can prevent teen pregnancy's by a large percentage."
"...... What?"
"That. Also I think me and every guy here wouldn't want to do it with the girls anyways."
"Why?"
"One word. "Mantis".
"Welp I don't know about you guys but I'm taking an oath of celibacy. What about you?"
"Yeah I want a higher chance of survival here. I'm in."
*sigh* "So much for my highschool life. Those teen movies lie."

[taalismn]

[
"Contrary to belief sex-ed can prevent teen pregnancy's by a large percentage."
"...... What?"
"That. Also I think me and every guy here wouldn't want to do it with the girls anyways."
"Why?"
"One word. "Mantis".
"Welp I don't know about you guys but I'm taking an oath of celibacy. What about you?"
"Yeah I want a higher chance of survival here. I'm in."
*sigh* "So much for my highschool life. Those teen movies lie."

Somewhere a group of Sisters of Cleaning feel a shudder of sympathy....

[Alpha 11]

[

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

Cue Monument City Highschool #69 Sex Education Class:
"Whu-wee! WE learn how to do it!"
"Somehow I think otherwise; I think they're going to do everything to prevent us FROM ever breeding..."

[

Basicly what happens when birth control fails in the RTverse.

Cue Monument City Highschool #69 Sex Education Class:
"Whu-wee! WE learn how to do it!"
"Somehow I think otherwise; I think they're going to do everything to prevent us FROM ever breeding..."

"Contrary to belief sex-ed can prevent teen pregnancy's by a large percentage."
"...... What?"
"That. Also I think me and every guy here wouldn't want to do it with the girls anyways."
"Why?"
"One word. "Mantis".
"Welp I don't know about you guys but I'm taking an oath of celibacy. What about you?"
"Yeah I want a higher chance of survival here. I'm in."
*sigh* "So much for my highschool life. Those teen movies lie."

[
"Contrary to belief sex-ed can prevent teen pregnancy's by a large percentage."
"...... What?"
"That. Also I think me and every guy here wouldn't want to do it with the girls anyways."
"Why?"
"One word. "Mantis".
"Welp I don't know about you guys but I'm taking an oath of celibacy. What about you?"
"Yeah I want a higher chance of survival here. I'm in."
*sigh* "So much for my highschool life. Those teen movies lie."

Somewhere a group of Sisters of Cleaning feel a shudder of sympathy....

[Arnie100]

(Well...except for ONE young man...)

"TEEEEEEENNNNNNNNCCCHHHHIIIIIII" (Mob of girls in hot pursuit)
Tenchi: "Oh, not AGAIN!"

[Alpha 11]

(Well...except for ONE young man...)

"TEEEEEEENNNNNNNNCCCHHHHIIIIIII" (Mob of girls in hot pursuit)
Tenchi: "Oh, not AGAIN!"

Witch one?

[taalismn]

"Okay, before anybody gets carried away, a flamethrower is NOT an acceptable form of birth control...well, maybe under some circumstances, it CAN be, but they have to be really SPECIAL and RARE circumstances..."
"You haven't been paying attention to the sort of guys who have been hitting on me of late. They're not becoming 'rare' nor are they 'special'."
"Hush. This class is about teaching young people to be responsible, not to air your personal problems..."

[Arnie100]

"But, uuhhmm, the thing came out of her chest and was singing 'Hello, my baby...Hello, my honey...Hello, my ragtime gal'..."
"In that case...use to your heart's content..."

[taalismn]

"But, uuhhmm, the thing came out of her chest and was singing 'Hello, my baby...Hello, my honey...Hello, my ragtime gal'..."
"In that case...use to your heart's content..."

"THAT WAS HER TAMAGOTCHI!!!"

[Alpha 11]

"Okay, before anybody gets carried away, a flamethrower is NOT an acceptable form of birth control...well, maybe under some circumstances, it CAN be, but they have to be really SPECIAL and RARE circumstances..."
"You haven't been paying attention to the sort of guys who have been hitting on me of late. They're not becoming 'rare' nor are they 'special'."
"Hush. This class is about teaching young people to be responsible, not to air your personal problems..."

"But, uuhhmm, the thing came out of her chest and was singing 'Hello, my baby...Hello, my honey...Hello, my ragtime gal'..."
"In that case...use to your heart's content..."

"But, uuhhmm, the thing came out of her chest and was singing 'Hello, my baby...Hello, my honey...Hello, my ragtime gal'..."
"In that case...use to your heart's content..."

"THAT WAS HER TAMAGOTCHI!!!"

[Chronicler]

*Chronicler comes out of his history class, scalpel sunk into his forehead*

taalismn: "What happen to you?"

Chronicler: "You know they had to dissect a cadaver in the med-student lab?"

taalismn: "Yeah?"

Chronicler: "Never put a snake in one."

taalismn: "Serves you right. "

(Guess which show I referenced in this. Hint it had a puddlejumper in it.)

[SRoss]

Biology 101...

Barney: "I love you! You love me..."

SRoss: "Ok class. Today we're dissecting a Purple Dinosaur..."

Barney:

[taalismn]

*Chronicler comes out of his history class, scalpel sunk into his forehead*

taalismn: "What happen to you?"

Chronicler: "You know they had to dissect a cadaver in the med-student lab?"

taalismn: "Yeah?"

Chronicler: "Never put a snake in one."

taalismn: "Serves you right. "

(Guess which show I referenced in this. Hint it had a puddlejumper in it.)

Aphopis: "Unpin me from this table IMMEDIATELY, inferior ones!"

[SRoss]

*Chronicler comes out of his history class, scalpel sunk into his forehead*

taalismn: "What happen to you?"

Chronicler: "You know they had to dissect a cadaver in the med-student lab?"

taalismn: "Yeah?"

Chronicler: "Never put a snake in one."

taalismn: "Serves you right. "

(Guess which show I referenced in this. Hint it had a puddlejumper in it.)

Aphopis: "Unpin me from this table IMMEDIATELY, inferior ones!"

SRoss: "Would you like to make the first cut?"

Teal'c: "Indeed."

[taalismn]

[
SRoss: "Would you like to make the first cut?"

Teal'c: "Indeed."

"We don't normally allow chainsaws in biology class...but, go ahead."
"No, use the blow torch! It cauterizes!"

[Alpha 11]

*Chronicler comes out of his history class, scalpel sunk into his forehead*

taalismn: "What happen to you?"

Chronicler: "You know they had to dissect a cadaver in the med-student lab?"

taalismn: "Yeah?"

Chronicler: "Never put a snake in one."

taalismn: "Serves you right. "

(Guess which show I referenced in this. Hint it had a puddlejumper in it.)

Did it have 3 TV shows and 3 movies?

Biology 101...

Barney: "I love you! You love me..."

SRoss: "Ok class. Today we're dissecting a Purple Dinosaur..."

Barney:

*Chronicler comes out of his history class, scalpel sunk into his forehead*

taalismn: "What happen to you?"

Chronicler: "You know they had to dissect a cadaver in the med-student lab?"

taalismn: "Yeah?"

Chronicler: "Never put a snake in one."

taalismn: "Serves you right. "

(Guess which show I referenced in this. Hint it had a puddlejumper in it.)

Aphopis: "Unpin me from this table IMMEDIATELY, inferior ones!"

*Chronicler comes out of his history class, scalpel sunk into his forehead*

taalismn: "What happen to you?"

Chronicler: "You know they had to dissect a cadaver in the med-student lab?"

taalismn: "Yeah?"

Chronicler: "Never put a snake in one."

taalismn: "Serves you right. "

(Guess which show I referenced in this. Hint it had a puddlejumper in it.)

Aphopis: "Unpin me from this table IMMEDIATELY, inferior ones!"

SRoss: "Would you like to make the first cut?"

Teal'c: "Indeed."

[Alpha 11]

[
SRoss: "Would you like to make the first cut?"

Teal'c: "Indeed."

"We don't normally allow chainsaws in biology class...but, go ahead."
"No, use the blow torch! It cauterizes!"

[guardiandashi]

[
SRoss: "Would you like to make the first cut?"

Teal'c: "Indeed."

"We don't normally allow chainsaws in biology class...but, go ahead."
"No, use the blow torch! It cauterizes!"

Hey I have this new weapon I got from this guy I want to try out. He said he was a jadi jed something or other... anyway its really cool SEE (Buzz hum)
and something I saw indicates you can use it for lots of things like cutting limbs off, shaving, and even eye surgery (although that one didn't go so well)

[taalismn]

Never NEVER ever mention to an enemy that you regenerate from wounds...or even put on a display of your fantastic regeneration abilities, just to show off...a sadistic opponent will just take it as a challenge.
Run away or play really really dead and try to get the drop on them that way(of course, a SMART opponent will double-tap the corpse just to make sure, so learn when to make a speedy retreat to lick your wounds in peace).

[Alpha 11]

[
SRoss: "Would you like to make the first cut?"

Teal'c: "Indeed."

"We don't normally allow chainsaws in biology class...but, go ahead."
"No, use the blow torch! It cauterizes!"

Hey I have this new weapon I got from this guy I want to try out. He said he was a jadi jed something or other... anyway its really cool SEE (Buzz hum)
and something I saw indicates you can use it for lots of things like cutting limbs off, shaving, and even eye surgery (although that one didn't go so well)

Never NEVER ever mention to an enemy that you regenerate from wounds...or even put on a display of your fantastic regeneration abilities, just to show off...a sadistic opponent will just take it as a challenge.
Run away or play really really dead and try to get the drop on them that way(of course, a SMART opponent will double-tap the corpse just to make sure, so learn when to make a speedy retreat to lick your wounds in peace).

[Kargan3033]

*Shawn Phillips walks out of the showers in the boy's locker room to get dressed after a long hot shower after the school's Smash Ball game with the Sister Of Repentant Woes All Girls Academy and much to his Surprise he saws a slender figure dressed from head to toe in black in front of his locker and holding up a pair of his black silk boxers with red hearts on them. *

Shawn:" HEY WHAT HELL ARE YOU DOING!? "

*And watches as the darkly dressed figure spins about to reveal a pair of shockingly bright light jade green eyes that wide with shock at his nudity*

Unknown boxer thief:" Ninjitsu smoke bomb! " in a clearly feminine voice.

*Suddenly the boy's locker room his filled with thick gray smoke as the female boxer thief runs out of the boy's locker room. *

Bonkers: " I can't believe what some of the girls are willing to pay for a pair of Shawn's boxers. "

[taalismn]

Clearly Monument City's economy is circling the drain if Shawn Phillips' underwear is worth ANYTHING.

[Kargan3033]

Clearly Monument City's economy is circling the drain if Shawn Phillips' underwear is worth ANYTHING.

Not really, given that in most anime underware theives are ususaly guys I thought it was high time for a female underware thief, equality and all that fun stuff besides I'm sure that in real life there are female perverts who have a thing for guy's underware.


As for Monument City's economy given how costly education as well as pretty much everything else is in the post Rain Of Death world everything has vaule, and don't even get started on the full sized zent's undergarments.

[taalismn]

Clearly Monument City's economy is circling the drain if Shawn Phillips' underwear is worth ANYTHING.

Not really, given that in most anime underware theives are ususaly guys I thought it was high time for a female underware thief, equality and all that fun stuff besides I'm sure that in real life there are female perverts who have a thing for guy's underware.


As for Monument City's economy given how costly education as well as pretty much everything else is in the post Rain Of Death world everything has vaule, and don't even get started on the full sized zent's undergarments.

Marie Crystal: "Please...Sean's ego is already nearing critical overload levels..."

[Kargan3033]

Clearly Monument City's economy is circling the drain if Shawn Phillips' underwear is worth ANYTHING.

Not really, given that in most anime underware theives are ususaly guys I thought it was high time for a female underware thief, equality and all that fun stuff besides I'm sure that in real life there are female perverts who have a thing for guy's underware.


As for Monument City's economy given how costly education as well as pretty much everything else is in the post Rain Of Death world everything has vaule, and don't even get started on the full sized zent's undergarments.

Marie Crystal: "Please...Sean's ego is already nearing critical overload levels..."

LOL talk about calling the kettle black, she's most like the one suporting the black market for Sean's boxers being as man hungry as she is.