Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 4:42 pm

"Actually I'm a VISIGoth girl. Care to see my Ulfberht?"

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 4:50 pm

taalismn wrote:"Actually I'm a VISIGoth girl. Care to see my Ulfberht?"

" Anrt you a little *OLD* to be dressing up like a teenager?, in which case it might be a good idea to keep your *Ulfberht* covered. " :nuke:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 5:04 pm

*Monument City Highschool #69*

Library

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

Erin: (Closing her book with a SNAP!) "Really? Can't I get 5 minutes!?!"

Blaze Flames On

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: :eek:

"Skree!(Oh Crap!!!)" :eek:

Cut To: Outside wall exploding...

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 5:10 pm

SRoss wrote:
*Monument City Highschool #69*

Library

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

Erin: (Closing her book with a SNAP!) "Really? Can't I get 5 minutes!?!"

Blaze Flames On

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(Oh Crap!!!)"

Cut To: Outside wall exploding...

You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse. :lol:

Erin:" What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me? "

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 6:02 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse.

Erin: "What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me?"

Oh she's used to that, ever since she set all those Centaurs on fire in Boston Common ... Along with the Common... :erm:

Erin: "Please address all questions and comments to my legal adviser."

Alecia: (Cracks her knuckles)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:11 pm

They went hunting in the LIBRARY.
Stupid predators.
There's a reason libraries are neutral ground....places of power attract beings of power, and they walk quietly for fear of OTHER beings of power hidden in the stacks.

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:50 pm

SRoss wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse.

Erin: "What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me?"

Oh she's used to that, ever since she set all those Centaurs on fire in Boston Common ... Along with the Common...

I guess she does not like horsing around does she.

What's the story behind that if you don't mind me asking?

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 8:51 pm

taalismn wrote:They went hunting in the LIBRARY.
Stupid predators.
There's a reason libraries are neutral ground....places of power attract beings of power, and they walk quietly for fear of OTHER beings of power hidden in the stacks.

Well they have to be excused, after all at that stage of their lives they are about as smart as three year olds, when they reach the teenage years that's when they truly become a real menace to all life around them.

Chronicler · Unread post by **Chronicler** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 9:21 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:They went hunting in the LIBRARY.
Stupid predators.
There's a reason libraries are neutral ground....places of power attract beings of power, and they walk quietly for fear of OTHER beings of power hidden in the stacks.

Well they have to be excused, after all at that stage of their lives they are about as smart as three year olds, when they reach the teenage years that's when they truly become a real menace to all life around them.

Chibi Rei xeno: Skree!Skree!(that was close right guys.) Skree?(guys?)

*Shadow looms over it*

Xeno Rei: *looks behind* SKRE- (oh cra-)

*WHAM* *thud*

Chronicler: "You come into my house you're going to get wrecked."
"..."
"I might have a use for this thing."

*drags body off to containment*

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Aug 07, 2015 10:15 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse.

Erin: "What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me?"

Oh she's used to that, ever since she set all those Centaurs on fire in Boston Common ... Along with the Common...

I guess she does not like horsing around does she.

What's the story behind that if you don't mind me asking?

DC Heroes campaign set in Boston. Someone opened a magical portal while Wonder Woman was away, Blaze found herself confronting Centaurs and Satyrs in Boston Common. She couldn't shoot at the Satyrs without endangering civilians, besides the Satyrs were distracted by every collage girl in the park. The Centaurs were trying to take her down with bows so she disarmed about 20 of them with multiple flame darts. The burning down of Boston Common was an exaggeration.

The New Freedom League, founded by the granddaughters two WWII heroines. Blaze was their fourth member, unknown to them, the granddaughter an Axis villiness, who was also a worshiper of Surtr. Erin is related to Surtr by blood and jokingly considers Arthur Brown's Fire a personal theme song.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:03 am

SRoss wrote:
The Defense Against Dark Arts Class - Umm, you REALLY don't wanna know what they're doing!!!

Arnie100: "Hey...my class isn't THAT bad...(scream; followed by loud roar, coming from behind closed classroom door)...I'll be right back..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 7:47 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
The Defense Against Dark Arts Class - Umm, you REALLY don't wanna know what they're doing!!!

Arnie100: "Hey...my class isn't THAT bad...(scream; followed by loud roar, coming from behind closed classroom door)...I'll be right back..."

I hesitate to ask what you did with Professor Lockhart...

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 8:27 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
The Defense Against Dark Arts Class - Umm, you REALLY don't wanna know what they're doing!!!

Arnie100: "Hey...my class isn't THAT bad...(scream; followed by loud roar, coming from behind closed classroom door)...I'll be right back..."

I hesitate to ask what you did with Professor Lockhart...

Samuel L. Jackson: (Stopping before Taalismn before running off) :eek:

"Run stupid!!!" :eek:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 10:22 pm

Bah! Evisceration? Big deal. Baal'rog? BOLO-summoning button on my car keys(below the PANIC button).

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 11:19 pm

taalismn wrote:
Alpha 11 wrote:[

So that's were the school gets the money to keep going...

Not if they get caught...then any profit is negated by medical care and funerary expenses.

True.

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"So are you here on a scholarship, a court order, or because you're inhuman abominations?"

" All of the above. "

Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:Meanwhile ... at MCH #69...

The Cheerleading Squad - Strips to their underwear, and loads up with weapons and ammo.

The School Morals Committee (aka. The Sisters of Cle err Repentia) - Strips naked, and loads up with weapons and ammo.

The Sensha-dō Class - Strips to their underwear, and starts their tanks.

The Defense Against Dark Arts Class - Umm, you REALLY don't wanna know what they're doing!!!

Ahh the teenage years, rife with hormones and heavy firepower.

taalismn wrote:[quote="Kargan3033
Ahh the teenage years, rife with hormones and heavy firepower.

Yeah, well, the irony of life: sex kills.[/quote]

:lol:

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 11:24 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Kargan3033
Ahh the teenage years, rife with hormones and heavy firepower.

Yeah, well, the irony of life: sex kills.

True enough but at lest you get off before you get offed.

Geeky, emo goth girl:" Do you like sex and death?, I do. "

Total bad ass male student:" Good then you can **** off and die. "[/quote]

[quote="taalismn wrote:"Actually I'm a VISIGoth girl. Care to see my Ulfberht?"

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Actually I'm a VISIGoth girl. Care to see my Ulfberht?"

" Anrt you a little *OLD* to be dressing up like a teenager?, in which case it might be a good idea to keep your *Ulfberht* covered. "

SRoss wrote:
*Monument City Highschool #69*

Library

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

Erin: (Closing her book with a SNAP!) "Really? Can't I get 5 minutes!?!"

Blaze Flames On

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(Oh Crap!!!)"

Cut To: Outside wall exploding...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 11:25 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
*Monument City Highschool #69*

Library

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

Erin: (Closing her book with a SNAP!) "Really? Can't I get 5 minutes!?!"

Blaze Flames On

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(Oh Crap!!!)"

Cut To: Outside wall exploding...

You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse.

Erin:" What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me? "

SRoss wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse.

Erin: "What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me?"

Oh she's used to that, ever since she set all those Centaurs on fire in Boston Common ... Along with the Common...

Erin: "Please address all questions and comments to my legal adviser."

Alecia: (Cracks her knuckles)

taalismn wrote:They went hunting in the LIBRARY.
Stupid predators.
There's a reason libraries are neutral ground....places of power attract beings of power, and they walk quietly for fear of OTHER beings of power hidden in the stacks.

Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse.

Erin: "What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me?"

Oh she's used to that, ever since she set all those Centaurs on fire in Boston Common ... Along with the Common...

I guess she does not like horsing around does she.

What's the story behind that if you don't mind me asking?

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 11:27 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:They went hunting in the LIBRARY.
Stupid predators.
There's a reason libraries are neutral ground....places of power attract beings of power, and they walk quietly for fear of OTHER beings of power hidden in the stacks.

Well they have to be excused, after all at that stage of their lives they are about as smart as three year olds, when they reach the teenage years that's when they truly become a real menace to all life around them.

Chronicler wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:They went hunting in the LIBRARY.
Stupid predators.
There's a reason libraries are neutral ground....places of power attract beings of power, and they walk quietly for fear of OTHER beings of power hidden in the stacks.

Well they have to be excused, after all at that stage of their lives they are about as smart as three year olds, when they reach the teenage years that's when they truly become a real menace to all life around them.

Chibi Rei xeno: Skree!Skree!(that was close right guys.) Skree?(guys?)

*Shadow looms over it*

Xeno Rei: *looks behind* SKRE- (oh cra-)

*WHAM* *thud*

Chronicler: "You come into my house you're going to get wrecked."
"..."
"I might have a use for this thing."

*drags body off to containment*

SRoss wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:You know I don't know if that would be considered to be child abuse or animal abuse.

Erin: "What do you mean the CPS and the SPCA is after me?"

Oh she's used to that, ever since she set all those Centaurs on fire in Boston Common ... Along with the Common...

I guess she does not like horsing around does she.

What's the story behind that if you don't mind me asking?

DC Heroes campaign set in Boston. Someone opened a magical portal while Wonder Woman was away, Blaze found herself confronting Centaurs and Satyrs in Boston Common. She couldn't shoot at the Satyrs without endangering civilians, besides the Satyrs were distracted by every collage girl in the park. The Centaurs were trying to take her down with bows so she disarmed about 20 of them with multiple flame darts. The burning down of Boston Common was an exaggeration.

The New Freedom League, founded by the granddaughters two WWII heroines. Blaze was their fourth member, unknown to them, the granddaughter an Axis villiness, who was also a worshiper of Surtr. Erin is related to Surtr by blood and jokingly considers Arthur Brown's Fire a personal theme song.

Interesting info.

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
The Defense Against Dark Arts Class - Umm, you REALLY don't wanna know what they're doing!!!

Arnie100: "Hey...my class isn't THAT bad...(scream; followed by loud roar, coming from behind closed classroom door)...I'll be right back..."

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
The Defense Against Dark Arts Class - Umm, you REALLY don't wanna know what they're doing!!!

Arnie100: "Hey...my class isn't THAT bad...(scream; followed by loud roar, coming from behind closed classroom door)...I'll be right back..."

I hesitate to ask what you did with Professor Lockhart...

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 11:28 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
The Defense Against Dark Arts Class - Umm, you REALLY don't wanna know what they're doing!!!

Arnie100: "Hey...my class isn't THAT bad...(scream; followed by loud roar, coming from behind closed classroom door)...I'll be right back..."

I hesitate to ask what you did with Professor Lockhart...

Samuel L. Jackson: (Stopping before Taalismn before running off) "Run stupid!!!"

taalismn wrote:Bah! Evisceration? Big deal. Baal'rog? BOLO-summoning button on my car keys(below the PANIC button).

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 11:42 pm

taalismn wrote:Bah! Evisceration? Big deal. Baal'rog? BOLO-summoning button on my car keys(below the PANIC button).

"Do I even want to know what Sh*t has to go down to make you push the PANIC button?" :roll:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Aug 08, 2015 11:58 pm

*Monument City Highschool #69*

Science Class

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

The hoard charges in to the lab and on to a platform just as the Fourth Wall Gang activates the switches...

The hoard disappears in a blinding flash.

SRoss: "Where do you think Lang's device sent them?"

Taalismn: "IRS Headquarters..." :demon:

IRS HQ

Accountant: "As carnivorous, non-income earning entities, you'll have to fill out Form B-24 slash F, Schedule C..."

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(Oh God!!! Kill me now!!!)"

Back at the Lab...

SRoss: "Wow, I've never seen Xeno-predators tear out their own throats before." :shock:

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Sun Aug 09, 2015 10:01 am

SRoss wrote:DC Heroes campaign set in Boston. Someone opened a magical portal while Wonder Woman was away, Blaze found herself confronting Centaurs and Satyrs in Boston Common. She couldn't shoot at the Satyrs without endangering civilians, besides the Satyrs were distracted by every collage girl in the park. The Centaurs were trying to take her down with bows so she disarmed about 20 of them with multiple flame darts. The burning down of Boston Common was an exaggeration.

The New Freedom League, founded by the granddaughters two WWII heroines. Blaze was their fourth member, unknown to them, the granddaughter an Axis villiness, who was also a worshiper of Surtr. Erin is related to Surtr by blood and jokingly considers Arthur Brown's Fire a personal theme song.

Ahh intresting, never played DC Heros, sounds like it was a good game.

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Sun Aug 09, 2015 10:05 am

SRoss wrote:
*Monument City Highschool #69*

Science Class

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

The hoard charges in to the lab and on to a platform just as the Fourth Wall Gang activates the switches...

The hoard disappears in a blinding flash.

SRoss: "Where do you think Lang's device sent them?"

Taalismn: "IRS Headquarters..."

IRS HQ

Accountant: "As carnivorous, non-income earning entities, you'll have to fill out Form B-24 slash F, Schedule C..."

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(Oh God!!! Kill me now!!!)"

Back at the Lab...

SRoss: "Wow, I've never seen Xeno-predators tear out their own throats before."

Which just goes to prove for all time that the IRS IS evil incarnate.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Aug 09, 2015 8:40 pm

Hey...I had an RCC called the 'Auditor Demon' hailing from a world called Bureaucron, which was a procedure-run society along the lines of Chinese divine planes and the Courts of Heaven. Not necessarily evil, just mind-numbingly procedure-happy to the point that several invading armies(including the Splugorth) ended up losing their equipment and anything of value to fees, licensing charges, and penalties(starting with parking).

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sun Aug 09, 2015 11:53 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:Bah! Evisceration? Big deal. Baal'rog? BOLO-summoning button on my car keys(below the PANIC button).

"Do I even want to know what Sh*t has to go down to make you push the PANIC button?"

SRoss wrote:
*Monument City Highschool #69*

Science Class

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

The hoard charges in to the lab and on to a platform just as the Fourth Wall Gang activates the switches...

The hoard disappears in a blinding flash.

SRoss: "Where do you think Lang's device sent them?"

Taalismn: "IRS Headquarters..."

IRS HQ

Accountant: "As carnivorous, non-income earning entities, you'll have to fill out Form B-24 slash F, Schedule C..."

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(Oh God!!! Kill me now!!!)"

Back at the Lab...

SRoss: "Wow, I've never seen Xeno-predators tear out their own throats before."

Kargan3033 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
*Monument City Highschool #69*

Science Class

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(I'm cute, love me!)"

The hoard charges in to the lab and on to a platform just as the Fourth Wall Gang activates the switches...

The hoard disappears in a blinding flash.

SRoss: "Where do you think Lang's device sent them?"

Taalismn: "IRS Headquarters..."

IRS HQ

Accountant: "As carnivorous, non-income earning entities, you'll have to fill out Form B-24 slash F, Schedule C..."

Hoard of Chibi Xeno-Rei Clones: "Skree!(Oh God!!! Kill me now!!!)"

Back at the Lab...

SRoss: "Wow, I've never seen Xeno-predators tear out their own throats before."

Which just goes to prove for all time that the IRS IS evil incarnate.

taalismn wrote:Hey...I had an RCC called the 'Auditor Demon' hailing from a world called Bureaucron, which was a procedure-run society along the lines of Chinese divine planes and the Courts of Heaven. Not necessarily evil, just mind-numbingly procedure-happy to the point that several invading armies(including the Splugorth) ended up losing their equipment and anything of value to fees, licensing charges, and penalties(starting with parking).

guardiandashi · Mon Aug 10, 2015 5:01 am

taalismn wrote:Hey...I had an RCC called the 'Auditor Demon' hailing from a world called Bureaucron, which was a procedure-run society along the lines of Chinese divine planes and the Courts of Heaven. Not necessarily evil, just mind-numbingly procedure-happy to the point that several invading armies(including the Splugorth) ended up losing their equipment and anything of value to fees, licensing charges, and penalties(starting with parking).

heh I didn't have that one but in one adventure more of a "one off" I was playing a Succubus who decided to make some "money" and recreated a couple magic items from a AD&D adventure and also was involved in the marketing campaigns (the marketing worked better than the actual products but... )

the 2 items were a variation on the melfs Plentiful potion (which basically makes a magic item that will repeatedly pour out the magic liquid stored in it. )
the first item was called "Kobald in a can" this was purchased by a variety of people (including fairly low level fighters) who used it to polish their Kobald fighting techniques as the Kobald popped out alive and equipped.

the other one sold better to monsters (especially evil ones) like dragons and the like...
it was "Peasant under Glass" which when you opened it gave you a live peasant .... The marketing was along the lines of when company comes over to the cave (Lair) unexpectedly and you don't have time to go out for dinner, (and when you don't want to get the neighbors too upset.) you get the Peasant under glass.....

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 5:26 pm

Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"This place is freaking NUTS!!" :eek:

Random MCHS Student #2: "You've just figured that out?!" :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 8:31 pm

guardiandashi wrote:
taalismn wrote:Hey...I had an RCC called the 'Auditor Demon' hailing from a world called Bureaucron, which was a procedure-run society along the lines of Chinese divine planes and the Courts of Heaven. Not necessarily evil, just mind-numbingly procedure-happy to the point that several invading armies(including the Splugorth) ended up losing their equipment and anything of value to fees, licensing charges, and penalties(starting with parking).

heh I didn't have that one but in one adventure more of a "one off" I was playing a Succubus who decided to make some "money" and recreated a couple magic items from a AD&D adventure and also was involved in the marketing campaigns (the marketing worked better than the actual products but... )

the 2 items were a variation on the melfs Plentiful potion (which basically makes a magic item that will repeatedly pour out the magic liquid stored in it. )
the first item was called "Kobald in a can" this was purchased by a variety of people (including fairly low level fighters) who used it to polish their Kobald fighting techniques as the Kobald popped out alive and equipped.

the other one sold better to monsters (especially evil ones) like dragons and the like...
it was "Peasant under Glass" which when you opened it gave you a live peasant .... The marketing was along the lines of when company comes over to the cave (Lair) unexpectedly and you don't have time to go out for dinner, (and when you don't want to get the neighbors too upset.) you get the Peasant under glass.....

Reminded me of a GM's 'Can-o-man' which worked like Marty the Martian's 'instant Martians'...it was an aerosol can that you sprayed out a big muscular bald guy in boxer shorts. Sort of a sprayable flesh golem. You could order him around and he could do a number of basic tasks, including fight, if you provided it with weapons and gear. Then 6-24 hours later(depending on the strength you bought), it would go POOF. A standard spray can had enough for 2-5 uses, and there were one-shot tabs and larger magnum-sized dispensers.

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 9:32 pm

guardiandashi wrote:
taalismn wrote:Hey...I had an RCC called the 'Auditor Demon' hailing from a world called Bureaucron, which was a procedure-run society along the lines of Chinese divine planes and the Courts of Heaven. Not necessarily evil, just mind-numbingly procedure-happy to the point that several invading armies(including the Splugorth) ended up losing their equipment and anything of value to fees, licensing charges, and penalties(starting with parking).

heh I didn't have that one but in one adventure more of a "one off" I was playing a Succubus who decided to make some "money" and recreated a couple magic items from a AD&D adventure and also was involved in the marketing campaigns (the marketing worked better than the actual products but... )

the 2 items were a variation on the melfs Plentiful potion (which basically makes a magic item that will repeatedly pour out the magic liquid stored in it. )
the first item was called "Kobald in a can" this was purchased by a variety of people (including fairly low level fighters) who used it to polish their Kobald fighting techniques as the Kobald popped out alive and equipped.

the other one sold better to monsters (especially evil ones) like dragons and the like...
it was "Peasant under Glass" which when you opened it gave you a live peasant .... The marketing was along the lines of when company comes over to the cave (Lair) unexpectedly and you don't have time to go out for dinner, (and when you don't want to get the neighbors too upset.) you get the Peasant under glass.....

taalismn wrote:
guardiandashi wrote:
taalismn wrote:Hey...I had an RCC called the 'Auditor Demon' hailing from a world called Bureaucron, which was a procedure-run society along the lines of Chinese divine planes and the Courts of Heaven. Not necessarily evil, just mind-numbingly procedure-happy to the point that several invading armies(including the Splugorth) ended up losing their equipment and anything of value to fees, licensing charges, and penalties(starting with parking).

heh I didn't have that one but in one adventure more of a "one off" I was playing a Succubus who decided to make some "money" and recreated a couple magic items from a AD&D adventure and also was involved in the marketing campaigns (the marketing worked better than the actual products but... )

the 2 items were a variation on the melfs Plentiful potion (which basically makes a magic item that will repeatedly pour out the magic liquid stored in it. )
the first item was called "Kobald in a can" this was purchased by a variety of people (including fairly low level fighters) who used it to polish their Kobald fighting techniques as the Kobald popped out alive and equipped.

the other one sold better to monsters (especially evil ones) like dragons and the like...
it was "Peasant under Glass" which when you opened it gave you a live peasant .... The marketing was along the lines of when company comes over to the cave (Lair) unexpectedly and you don't have time to go out for dinner, (and when you don't want to get the neighbors too upset.) you get the Peasant under glass.....

Reminded me of a GM's 'Can-o-man' which worked like Marty the Martian's 'instant Martians'...it was an aerosol can that you sprayed out a big muscular bald guy in boxer shorts. Sort of a sprayable flesh golem. You could order him around and he could do a number of basic tasks, including fight, if you provided it with weapons and gear. Then 6-24 hours later(depending on the strength you bought), it would go POOF. A standard spray can had enough for 2-5 uses, and there were one-shot tabs and larger magnum-sized dispensers.

Wow.

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Mon Aug 10, 2015 9:33 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "This place is freaking NUTS!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "You've just figured that out?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 10:28 am

"I just wish the school Art Club wouldn't keep putting down those chalk outlines on the sidewalk in front of the school; it scares the new transfers..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 1:05 pm

"So...I got History frst period...what did you get?"
:shock:

"Defense Against The Dark Arts...first period?!" :eek:

"Can I have your stuff? I don't think you're gonna be needing it..."

Chronicler · Unread post by **Chronicler** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 1:40 pm

Arnie100 wrote:"So...I got History first period...what did you get?"
"Defense Against The Dark Arts...first period?!"
"Can I have your stuff? I don't think you're gonna be needing it..."

Chronicler: Joke's on you kid, my class has a lower survival rate than DAtDA.

Students: :eek:

Arnie100: Really?

Chronicler: Nah. I just want to see them sh*t their pants.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 3:19 pm

Arnie100: "It's not like students disappear from my class on a regular basis..."

Chronicler · Unread post by **Chronicler** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 4:34 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: "It's not like students disappear from my class on a regular basis..."

Chronicler: "Just because I got time/dimension gates doesn't mean they disappear all the time. Besides I got minions to retrieve them."

*in another dimension*

Minion 21: "Uh, should we help them?"

*student being chased by Chibi Xeno Reis* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Minion 24: "Hm... five more minutes. I haven't have entertainment like this since we worked for The Monarch."

Minion 21: "Yeah this gig does bite sometimes."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:11 pm

Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 5:26 pm

Arnie100: "Besides, I need volunteers; yeah that's it, to help with...uhm...rituals and stuff..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 6:02 pm

taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Astrea: (Walking up to Taalismn) "Um, teacher, this round thing is beeping, does that mean it's broken?"

Taalismn: "Why did I have to buy the one's with a time delay mode?" :nh:

Cut to Hallway... Staff and students pause on hearing the sound of mines ripple detonating...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 6:05 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Astrea: (Walking up to Taalismn) "Um, teacher, this round thing is beeping, does that mean it's broken?"

Taalismn: "Why did I have to buy the one's with a time delay mode?"

Cut to Hallway... Staff and students pause on hearing the sound of mines ripple detonating...

"Apparently student texting literacy doesn't extend to real world warning signs like "Achtung! Minen!", or 'Explosives! Keep Out!". Let this be a lesson to you people and put away your cellphones!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 7:21 pm

Arnie100: (Looking outside) "See...THAT doesn't go on in MY classroom...excuse me...(starts banishing monster back into vortex)"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 8:07 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: (Looking outside) "See...THAT doesn't go on in MY classroom...excuse me...(starts banishing monster back into vortex)"

"I find 'Houndini Mines' are very effective at stopping, or at least slowing, that sort of thing. Amazing how many invisible monsters can't spot other invisible threats in their vicinity."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 9:09 pm

Arnie100: "You got a few to spare, taalismn? It could help to prevent; uhm, unnecessary absences of a creepy, crawly kind..."

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 9:48 pm

taalismn wrote:"I just wish the school Art Club wouldn't keep putting down those chalk outlines on the sidewalk in front of the school; it scares the new transfers..."

Arnie100 wrote:"So...I got History frst period...what did you get?"
"Defense Against The Dark Arts...first period?!"
"Can I have your stuff? I don't think you're gonna be needing it..."

Chronicler wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:"So...I got History first period...what did you get?"
"Defense Against The Dark Arts...first period?!"
"Can I have your stuff? I don't think you're gonna be needing it..."

Chronicler: Joke's on you kid, my class has a lower survival rate than DAtDA.

Students:

Arnie100: Really?

Chronicler: Nah. I just want to see them sh*t their pants.

Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: "It's not like students disappear from my class on a regular basis..."

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Tue Aug 11, 2015 9:49 pm

Chronicler wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: "It's not like students disappear from my class on a regular basis..."

Chronicler: "Just because I got time/dimension gates doesn't mean they disappear all the time. Besides I got minions to retrieve them."

*in another dimension*

Minion 21: "Uh, should we help them?"

*student being chased by Chibi Xeno Reis* AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Minion 24: "Hm... five more minutes. I haven't have entertainment like this since we worked for The Monarch."

Minion 21: "Yeah this gig does bite sometimes."

taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: "Besides, I need volunteers; yeah that's it, to help with...uhm...rituals and stuff..."

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Astrea: (Walking up to Taalismn) "Um, teacher, this round thing is beeping, does that mean it's broken?"

Taalismn: "Why did I have to buy the one's with a time delay mode?"

Cut to Hallway... Staff and students pause on hearing the sound of mines ripple detonating...

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Astrea: (Walking up to Taalismn) "Um, teacher, this round thing is beeping, does that mean it's broken?"

Taalismn: "Why did I have to buy the one's with a time delay mode?"

Cut to Hallway... Staff and students pause on hearing the sound of mines ripple detonating...

"Apparently student texting literacy doesn't extend to real world warning signs like "Achtung! Minen!", or 'Explosives! Keep Out!". Let this be a lesson to you people and put away your cellphones!"

Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: (Looking outside) "See...THAT doesn't go on in MY classroom...excuse me...(starts banishing monster back into vortex)"

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: (Looking outside) "See...THAT doesn't go on in MY classroom...excuse me...(starts banishing monster back into vortex)"

"I find 'Houndini Mines' are very effective at stopping, or at least slowing, that sort of thing. Amazing how many invisible monsters can't spot other invisible threats in their vicinity."

Arnie100 wrote:Arnie100: "You got a few to spare, taalismn? It could help to prevent; uhm, unnecessary absences of a creepy, crawly kind..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 8:08 pm

Yep, even got the custom versions where the shrapnel's laced with calamari seasoning...or, as it is also known "Tentacles B' Gone".

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Wed Aug 12, 2015 11:27 pm

taalismn wrote:Yep, even got the custom versions where the shrapnel's laced with calamari seasoning...or, as it is also known "Tentacles B' Gone".

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 1:53 am

Arnie100: "You ever try selling these? I bet they'd make a helluva profit."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 9:03 am

taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Nameless MCHS#69 Student:" Some how I'm failing to see how this *mining* is related to geology. "

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 3:43 pm

Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Nameless MCHS#69 Student:" Some how I'm failing to see how this *mining* is related to geology. "

"Some of them are planted under the ground..."

Kargan3033 · Unread post by **Kargan3033** » Thu Aug 13, 2015 4:10 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
Kargan3033 wrote:
taalismn wrote:Fortunately, I know where my students are.
Student: (whispering)"..just how sensitive are these motion-sensitive mines, sir?"
"Let's just say that any louder from you and we'd be talking about distribution patterns."
(whisper)"..then why aren't -you-..?"
"Voice recognition software. They're not called 'smart' mines for nothing, after all. "

Nameless MCHS#69 Student:" Some how I'm failing to see how this *mining* is related to geology. "

"Some of them are planted under the ground..."

Ahh ok then it's nice to see that this class is well *grounded* with real life aplications.