Robotech Crossover question

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Dec 24, 2015 4:58 pm

Charon: "Crap...I just hope I don't get a whole bunch of people who died from fruitcake poisoning..." :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Dec 24, 2015 5:10 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Charon: "Crap...I just hope I don't get a whole bunch of people who died from fruitcake poisoning..."

"ANGELO!"
"Nope, not my mom's. She just uses good wholesome concrete, sugar, and alcohol."
"Ah yes, I remember when Louie did a calorie test on it...something about 'energy density approaching solid rocket fuel', only a lot more stable."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Dec 24, 2015 10:45 pm

Dana:

"Got my Christmas list done!" :mrgreen:

Santa: (Facepalms) :nh:

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Thu Dec 24, 2015 11:24 pm

taalismn wrote:"Cyanide...ow, strychnine!....curare...interesting....lead bon-bons, rather slow....oh, my old friend arsenic!....Hey, a nerve-toxin nugget! And this smells like a corrosive battery-acid jelly!"

Arnie100 wrote:Charon: "Crap...I just hope I don't get a whole bunch of people who died from fruitcake poisoning..."

You like to temp Murphy, don't you.

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Charon: "Crap...I just hope I don't get a whole bunch of people who died from fruitcake poisoning..."

"ANGELO!"
"Nope, not my mom's. She just uses good wholesome concrete, sugar, and alcohol."
"Ah yes, I remember when Louie did a calorie test on it...something about 'energy density approaching solid rocket fuel', only a lot more stable."

SRoss wrote:Dana: "Got my Christmas list done!"

Santa: (Facepalms)

That is a nice list.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Dec 25, 2015 7:13 pm

Dana: "WHAT THE HECK?! A sack of COALS?! I should've blasted that fat man when I had the chance!!"
Angelo: "Somebody must've been REALLY naughty!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Dec 25, 2015 9:08 pm

"Threatening an elf massacre may not have been a wise move to make."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Dec 25, 2015 11:09 pm

Louie: "Wait! Dana! That's not a coal, it's a ..."

Behelit: "ROAR!!!"

Angelo: "Great, and now we're on another plain..." :nh:

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Fri Dec 25, 2015 11:18 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Dana: "WHAT THE HECK?! A sack of COALS?! I should've blasted that fat man when I had the chance!!"
Angelo: "Somebody must've been REALLY naughty!"

taalismn wrote:"Threatening an elf massacre may not have been a wise move to make."

SRoss wrote:Louie: "Wait! Dana! That's not a coal, it's a ..."

Behelit: "ROAR!!!"

Angelo: "Great, and now we're on another plain..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Dec 26, 2015 5:05 pm

Charon: " All I wanted was a nice Christmas...do I get one of those? NnnnooooOOO...I get you idiots." (Looking at Dana, Louie and Angelo)

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sat Dec 26, 2015 11:50 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Charon: " All I wanted was a nice Christmas...do I get one of those? NnnnooooOOO...I get you idiots." (Looking at Dana, Louie and Angelo)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Dec 27, 2015 10:12 pm

"Isn't there supposed to..."
"...be a crossover here? They're all in other threads, making a hash of things."
"Like where?"
"Someplace cold."
"Can you be more specific?"
"Someplace REALLY cold."
"That could mean Minnesota right now..."
"Or Kansas."
"All I know is they packed their longjohns."
"Well. of you see anybody, give them this. We'd like to talk to them."
"Yeah, okay...right.....I'll let'em know...."
(tosses the 'LucasFilm Legal' cards and letters in the dumpster as soon as the visitors disappear)

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 12:15 am

"So who was that?"
"Bunch of lawyers or something...gave me some cards...figured they were trash and binned them."
"Good job."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 5:04 pm

Gate Control...

#THUMP!#

Walter: "Did you hear something hit the iris?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 6:07 pm

SRoss wrote:Gate Control...

#THUMP!#

Walter: "Did you hear something hit the iris?"

Gen. Hammond: "Open it up and let's -- what the hell is it?!"
Maj. Carter: "I don't know..."
Dr. Jackson: "It's UGLY whatever it is."
Jar Jar: "WAIT! Meesa come in peace!"
Col. O'Neil: "I say we kill it and send the body back." (Aiming his FN P90)
Teal'c: :twisted:

"Indeed." (Aiming his own P90)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:48 pm

(Tokyo-3 Gateland)
"Misa be not understanding everybody be so mean!!!"
(Cut to a mob made of members of every division in the UEsG armed services aiming weapons or other specialized devices at him)
"Because some traumas stretch across dimensional barriers. Now GIT!!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 9:10 pm

(Appearing in a jungle)

Jar Jar: "Meesa SAFE! Meesa -- Oh, S**T!!" :shock:

(Staring at an Indominus Rex).

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:00 pm

ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:13 pm

taalismn wrote:ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

ACU: Asset Containment Unit. http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/Asse ... nment_Unit For those that don't know.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:22 pm

"Looks like Blue's got something stuck in his teeth again..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:35 pm

Blue:

"I think Blue's got food poisoning..."
"Well, he shouldn't eat everything he feels like, now should he?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:53 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

ACU: Asset Containment Unit. http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/Asse ... nment_Unit For those that don't know.

The guys voted 'Most Likely to Imitate James Cameron's Colonial Marines in a Situational Cluster####'.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:04 pm

Jar Jar: "Where we be now Boss."

Flan: "Welcome to Gensokyo, will you play with me?" :demon:

Jar Jar: "She seema nice."

Lucus: (Facepalm) :nh:

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:26 pm

taalismn wrote:"Isn't there supposed to..."
"...be a crossover here? They're all in other threads, making a hash of things."
"Like where?"
"Someplace cold."
"Can you be more specific?"
"Someplace REALLY cold."
"That could mean Minnesota right now..."
"Or Kansas."
"All I know is they packed their longjohns."
"Well. of you see anybody, give them this. We'd like to talk to them."
"Yeah, okay...right.....I'll let'em know...."
(tosses the 'LucasFilm Legal' cards and letters in the dumpster as soon as the visitors disappear)

Well, shouldn't that be Disney card now?

Arnie100 wrote:"So who was that?"
"Bunch of lawyers or something...gave me some cards...figured they were trash and binned them."
"Good job."

SRoss wrote:Gate Control...

#THUMP!#

Walter: "Did you hear something hit the iris?"

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:Gate Control...

#THUMP!#

Walter: "Did you hear something hit the iris?"

Gen. Hammond: "Open it up and let's -- what the hell is it?!"
Maj. Carter: "I don't know..."
Dr. Jackson: "It's UGLY whatever it is."
Jar Jar: "WAIT! Meesa come in peace!"
Col. O'Neil: "I say we kill it and send the body back." (Aiming his FN P90)
Teal'c: "Indeed." (Aiming his own P90)

Even though I don't mind Jar Jar at all, that was funny.

taalismn wrote:(Tokyo-3 Gateland)
"Misa be not understanding everybody be so mean!!!"
(Cut to a mob made of members of every division in the UEsG armed services aiming weapons or other specialized devices at him)
"Because some traumas stretch across dimensional barriers. Now GIT!!!!"

Arnie100 wrote:(Appearing in a jungle)

Jar Jar: "Meesa SAFE! Meesa -- Oh, S**T!!" (Staring at an Indominus Rex).

taalismn wrote:ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

ACU: Asset Containment Unit. http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/Asse ... nment_Unit For those that don't know.

They should have given them more heavy weapons.

SRoss wrote:"Looks like Blue's got something stuck in his teeth again..."

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:27 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Blue:
"I think Blue's got food poisoning..."
"Well, he shouldn't eat everything he feels like, now should he?"

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

ACU: Asset Containment Unit. http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/Asse ... nment_Unit For those that don't know.

The guys voted 'Most Likely to Imitate James Cameron's Colonial Marines in a Situational Cluster####'.

SRoss wrote:Jar Jar: "Where we be now Boss."

Flan: "Welcome to Gensokyo, will you play with me?"

Jar Jar: "She seema nice."

Lucus: (Facepalm)

Chronicler · Unread post by **Chronicler** » Tue Dec 29, 2015 2:43 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

ACU: Asset Containment Unit. http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/Asse ... nment_Unit For those that don't know.

The guys voted 'Most Likely to Imitate James Cameron's Colonial Marines in a Situational Cluster####'.

To be fair they did have a crappy manager that wanted that thing alive instead of listening to the only sane person that would have fixed this right off the bat. And even then he get's screwed over by his employers by not giving him vital information on the d@mned thing.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Dec 29, 2015 6:52 pm

Chronicler wrote:[
To be fair they did have a crappy manager that wanted that thing alive instead of listening to the only sane person that would have fixed this right off the bat. And even then he get's screwed over by his employers by not giving him vital information on the d@mned thing.

Hoskins=Burke.
Reincarnations of greed and stupidity?

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Wed Dec 30, 2015 12:28 am

Chronicler wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:ACU Newbie: "There's screaming in the carnivore paddock! Shouldn't we investigate?!"
ACU Veteran: "Nope. Some things ain't worth risking your life for."

ACU: Asset Containment Unit. http://jurassicpark.wikia.com/wiki/Asse ... nment_Unit For those that don't know.

The guys voted 'Most Likely to Imitate James Cameron's Colonial Marines in a Situational Cluster####'.

To be fair they did have a crappy manager that wanted that thing alive instead of listening to the only sane person that would have fixed this right off the bat. And even then he get's screwed over by his employers by not giving him vital information on the d@mned thing.

That always seems to happen to the good people.

taalismn wrote:
Chronicler wrote:[
To be fair they did have a crappy manager that wanted that thing alive instead of listening to the only sane person that would have fixed this right off the bat. And even then he get's screwed over by his employers by not giving him vital information on the d@mned thing.

Hoskins=Burke.
Reincarnations of greed and stupidity?

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Dec 30, 2015 1:43 pm

Dick Jones (OCP): "I say good business is where you find it."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Dec 30, 2015 11:20 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Dick Jones (OCP): "I say good business is where you find it."

ED-209: "You are in direct violation of Penal Code 1.13, Section 9. You have five seconds to comply. : Four... three... two... one... I am now authorized to use physical force!"

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Wed Dec 30, 2015 11:23 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Dick Jones (OCP): "I say good business is where you find it."

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Dick Jones (OCP): "I say good business is where you find it."

ED-209: "You are in direct violation of Penal Code 1.13, Section 9. You have five seconds to comply. : Four... three... two... one... I am now authorized to use physical force!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 12:04 am

NEW YEARS EVE at the 4[sup]th[/sup] Wall Gang's Secret Lair

(Megara's Shoulder Storage)

SRoss: "Hey look! Gendo sent us a card!"

"CONGRATULATIONS ON SURVIVING THE THIRD IMPACT!"

"You @#$%tards! "

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 2:46 pm

"Arrange a Fourth Impact?"
"Tanging Tang? Sounds zen."

Chronicler · Unread post by **Chronicler** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 4:38 pm

taalismn wrote:"Arrange a Fourth Impact?"
"Tanging Tang? Sounds zen."

Chronicler: "Nah. That would get a little meta. What would our impact be like anyways? Nuking everything and start over? Bending reality so much that it becomes a mobious wheel? Time loop so much that we create an infinite number of clones of everyone? Or we break the known laws of everything and create an eleventh dimension?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 5:03 pm

Chronicler wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Arrange a Fourth Impact?"
"Tanging Tang? Sounds zen."

Chronicler: "Nah. That would get a little meta. What would our impact be like anyways? Nuking everything and start over? Bending reality so much that it becomes a mobious wheel? Time loop so much that we create an infinite number of clones of everyone? Or we break the known laws of everything and create an eleventh dimension?"

"Paging Doctor Banzai. Paging Doctor Banzai."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 6:10 pm

Doctor Banzai: "I'm staying out of this one. My schedule is full."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 9:09 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Doctor Banzai: "I'm staying out of this one. My schedule is full."

"Watermelon in the hydraulic press?"
"Shhhh....'observer effect'..."

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Sun Jan 03, 2016 10:47 pm

SRoss wrote:
NEW YEARS EVE at the 4[sup]th[/sup] Wall Gang's Secret Lair

(Megara's Shoulder Storage)

SRoss: "Hey look! Gendo sent us a card!"

"CONGRATULATIONS ON SURVIVING THE THIRD IMPACT!"

"You @#$%tards! "

taalismn wrote:"Arrange a Fourth Impact?"
"Tanging Tang? Sounds zen."

Chronicler wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Arrange a Fourth Impact?"
"Tanging Tang? Sounds zen."

Chronicler: "Nah. That would get a little meta. What would our impact be like anyways? Nuking everything and start over? Bending reality so much that it becomes a mobious wheel? Time loop so much that we create an infinite number of clones of everyone? Or we break the known laws of everything and create an eleventh dimension?"

I think we're already on the way to creating that!

taalismn wrote:
Chronicler wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Arrange a Fourth Impact?"
"Tanging Tang? Sounds zen."

Chronicler: "Nah. That would get a little meta. What would our impact be like anyways? Nuking everything and start over? Bending reality so much that it becomes a mobious wheel? Time loop so much that we create an infinite number of clones of everyone? Or we break the known laws of everything and create an eleventh dimension?"

"Paging Doctor Banzai. Paging Doctor Banzai."

Arnie100 wrote:Doctor Banzai: "I'm staying out of this one. My schedule is full."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Jan 04, 2016 9:16 pm

Loop...

The Macross appears in Earth orbit.

Vanessa: "Sir! We're in Earth orbit but the North American continent is in flames!"

Gloval: "The Zentraedi?"

Kim: "We're getting a communication from Earth. Apparently, a <Censored> more open to mocking then a certain former Liberal PM has become ruler of America."

Gloval: "Lisa! Target the White House with the Reflex Cannon and fire."

(No names this time.)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 04, 2016 9:23 pm

I'm voting Friend Computer this year(Cthulu opted out of political life).

gaby · Unread post by **gaby** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:37 am

That was very Bias SRoss,I always hate it when people try to demonaze people who disagree about Politics.
This is just a Smear job.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:22 pm

"Okay...who the hell gave Alucard a REFLEX CANNON?"
"He said he needed it to 'deliver great justice to a great evil'."
"Great, thousand-year-old bloodsucker's starting to sound like a magic girl...with strategic nuclear weaponry. What is this universe coming to? What's Helsing saying about this?"
"She's working her way through her family's liquor cellar and refuses to sober up."
"Okay...that's understandable, but not what I wanted to hear."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:30 pm

Seras: "Can I HAVE ONE OF THOSE?" :shock:

Helsing: "NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT."
Seras: "Aaawwwww..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:38 pm

"So that's what happens when a junior vampire is accidentally dosed with Protoculture..." :shock:

"Alucard's going to be ######......"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 6:53 pm

Seras: "I CAN MORPH MY ARMS INTO TENTACLES!!!"
Alucard: (Smacks forehead) "Whoever gave her that stuff is going to be dinner."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:11 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Seras: "I CAN MORPH MY ARMS INTO TENTACLES!!!"
Alucard: (Smacks forehead) "Whoever gave her that stuff is going to be dinner."

"Higher than a kite she is."
"Couldn't be more stoned if you'd dropped a quarry on her."
"Couldn't be more blitzed if the entire Luftwaffe bombed her."
"This is your undead brain on drugs..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 7:34 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Seras: "I CAN MORPH MY ARMS INTO TENTACLES!!!"
Alucard: (Smacks forehead) "Whoever gave her that stuff is going to be dinner."

"Higher than a kite she is."
"Couldn't be more stoned if you'd dropped a quarry on her."
"Couldn't be more blitzed if the entire Luftwaffe bombed her."
"This is your undead brain on drugs..."

Seras: "HHHEEEYYY. This is my natural bubbly self!"
:shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 05, 2016 8:30 pm

Arnie100 wrote:[
Seras: "HHHEEEYYY. This is my natural bubbly self!"

"You're kidding...emo undead girl? Bubbly? Maybe in direct sunlight.."
"Don't need that image..."
Seras: "Okay, so maybe I'm bummed about the 'undead' part people keep reminding me of!" :frust:

"Right. Political correctness. It's 'no-life', right?"
Seras:"...the way you say it, it sounds more pathetic..."

"Corpusacularly challenged?"
"Is that even a word?"
"Vitality deficient?"
"Technically incorrect. Alucard's DAMN fast."
"Life-absent?"
"Sounds like she was hidden behind the door when they were handing out sunshine and light in school."
Seras:"I'M NOT ALWAYS GOTH-GLOOMY!!!" :badbad:

"She's the tragic poster child for denial..."
"No, not really, she just hides her depression poorly. It's not as if they can put her on Prozac, or have her bite a dope-head. Vampire biology just doesn't work that way."
"Wampyr?"
"Nope; that would have become a critical plot point if she was."
Seras:"Wait...'wampyr'?" :-?

"Not quite dead, not quite alive, better off than being a vampire thrall, but a few degrees body temp shy of being fully alive. You're not one, in canon."
Seras:"..oh damn...." :-(

Chronicler · Unread post by **Chronicler** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:05 am

Marine Grunt 1"Uh-oh."
MG 2 "What?"
MG 1 "Just saw The Crimson F...er Alucard's Twitter. He found the Twilight universe."
MG 2"How's that bad?"
MG 1"He took enough ordinance to recreate The Rain of Death."
MG 2"... Again how is that still bad?"
MG 1 "THAT'S ALL OUR F!@#ING RESERVE ORDINANCE THE U.Es.G'S HAS AND IF HE USES IT ALL WE ARE SCREWED! WE WON'T HAVE ANYTHING LEFT FOR AT LEAST 5 YEARS! 3 AT MINIMAL!"

MG 2

"We got to stop him!"
MG 1 "No sh!@ Sherlock."

Nova: *Looking over reports about stolen ordinance, ammo, and carrier pigeons (don't ask)* "..... Oh someone's in serious trouble once I find out who let this happen."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:13 am

Integra: "...I wonder if Kagome will let me borrow that dog collar...."

Alpha 11 · Unread post by **Alpha 11** » Wed Jan 06, 2016 12:30 am

SRoss wrote:Loop...

The Macross appears in Earth orbit.

Vanessa: "Sir! We're in Earth orbit but the North American continent is in flames!"

Gloval: "The Zentraedi?"

Kim: "We're getting a communication from Earth. Apparently, a <Censored> more open to mocking then a certain former Liberal PM has become ruler of America."

Gloval: "Lisa! Target the White House with the Reflex Cannon and fire."

(No names this time.)

If Washington DC disappeared tomarrow, I wouldn't be sad at all. So sick and tired of both sides.

taalismn wrote::frazz:

I'm voting Friend Computer this year(Cthulu opted out of political life).

taalismn wrote:"Okay...who the hell gave Alucard a REFLEX CANNON?"
"He said he needed it to 'deliver great justice to a great evil'."
"Great, thousand-year-old bloodsucker's starting to sound like a magic girl...with strategic nuclear weaponry. What is this universe coming to? What's Helsing saying about this?"
"She's working her way through her family's liquor cellar and refuses to sober up."
"Okay...that's understandable, but not what I wanted to hear."

Arnie100 wrote:Seras: "Can I HAVE ONE OF THOSE?"
Helsing: "NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT."
Seras: "Aaawwwww..."

taalismn wrote:"So that's what happens when a junior vampire is accidentally dosed with Protoculture..."
"Alucard's going to be ######......"

So..., should we be scarred?

Arnie100 wrote:Seras: "I CAN MORPH MY ARMS INTO TENTACLES!!!"
Alucard: (Smacks forehead) "Whoever gave her that stuff is going to be dinner."

So..., no real different then what happened in the anime.

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Seras: "I CAN MORPH MY ARMS INTO TENTACLES!!!"
Alucard: (Smacks forehead) "Whoever gave her that stuff is going to be dinner."

"Higher than a kite she is."
"Couldn't be more stoned if you'd dropped a quarry on her."
"Couldn't be more blitzed if the entire Luftwaffe bombed her."
"This is your undead brain on drugs..."