Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[glitterboy2098]

and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..

[taalismn]

and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..

They had a delivery error, and the Spetzies were accidentally delivered to the cafeteria service entrance/loading dock...

"Hey...is ths a Soviet paratrooper button in my pot roast?"

[Alpha 11]

All the female students are piled into one classroom.

"Greetings class, I am you teacher Shino Kuribayashi and this class is how to be a bad-ass soldier-girl 101, this is my partner, Rory Mercury. And this sorry sack is our testing dummy."

Prince Zorzal: (Bound and Gagged) "Mmmmuuufff mmmmoooouuuufff!!!"

LOVED that sceen!

(Down Below...)

Charon: "At least this one'll be entertaining. (Grabbing a bowl of popcorn)"

Erin: "Why am I here?"

Rei: "Cause, even though you can melt a city block, you punch like Usagi."

Usagi: "Hey!!!"

Dana: "I think I'm going to like this class."

Erin: "Why am I here?""

"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"

Erin: "Why am I here?""

"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"

Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"

[q

Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"

Principal: "According to the midterm exams....what's lower on the scale than idiots?"

Wow.

Erin: "Why am I here?""

"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"

Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"

Charon wasn't sure what happened next, or how he ended up hanging from the school flagpole by his underwear...

Several Valkyries laughed and pointed...

Brunhilde: "You forgot the rules of anime..."

[Alpha 11]

Erin: "Why am I here?""

"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"

Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"

Charon wasn't sure what happened next, or how he ended up hanging from the school flagpole by his underwear...

Several Valkyries laughed and pointed...

Brunhilde: "You forgot the rules of anime..."

Charon: "I'm a dead man...why would I need underwear?"
Brunhilde and the Valkyries:

"Flagpole through the ribcage?"
"...okay, even if that doesn't hurt me, it's still undignified..."

Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"

Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"

Principle: "RIGHT! From now on, the cafeteria will no longer post pictures of menu items..."

Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"

Principle: "RIGHT! From now on, the cafeteria will no longer post pictures of menu items..."

This, in a school where the civics class shows full color photos of the result of Prince Zorzal de Ceasar 'negotiating' with the JSDF, the UEsG, Stargate SG-1, the GNE, the Shemarrians, the Splugorth, the Justice League, the Avengers, Ranma Saotome, the USMC, the UNSC.....

That's..., one long list.

[Alpha 11]

Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"

Principle: "RIGHT! From now on, the cafeteria will no longer post pictures of menu items..."

This, in a school where the civics class shows full color photos of the result of Prince Zorzal de Ceasar 'negotiating' with the JSDF, the UEsG, Stargate SG-1, the GNE, the Shemarrians, the Splugorth, the Justice League, the Avengers, Ranma Saotome, the USMC, the UNSC.....

Don't forget the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, Apocalypse, the Shi'Ar, the Kree, Doctor Doom, Magneto, the Guardians of the Galaxy, Thanos, Doctor Doom, Darkseid, Yautja, the Arachnid Empire, the Kilrathi, Xenomorphs, etc., etc., etc.

And it just got longer!

"So....these are Jackson Pollock prints?"
"Blood spatter patterns, actually, on the Imperial Palace walls. Except for the last...that's a 3-d radar map of a crater in the Imperial Palace floor..."

"I thought they were for the school art gallery."
"We have an art gallery?!"
"If you can call some of those abominations art, yeah."

"The snowflake?"
"Somebody called 'Ice Guard'."

and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..

and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..

They had a delivery error, and the Spetzies were accidentally delivered to the cafeteria service entrance/loading dock...

"Hey...is ths a Soviet paratrooper button in my pot roast?"

Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.

[taalismn]

[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.

"Oh look...a metal pineapple in the pineapple salad!"(sound of grenade spoon detaching )

[Arnie100]

[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.

"Oh look...a metal pineapple in the pineapple salad!"(sound of grenade spoon detaching )

Random MCHS Student #1: "What the...?!"
Ransom MCHS Student #2: "They're goes the cafeteria again."

[taalismn]

"At least the gas piping in the school has multiple easy-access shut-off points so we don't have to wait and call the gas company."

[Arnie100]

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

[taalismn]

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."

[SRoss]

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."

"Much like how our teaching staff has the requirement; Must be able to dodge bullets."

[Arnie100]

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."

"Much like how our teaching staff has the requirement; Must be able to dodge bullets."

Arnie100: "Some of us have armored bunkers with a fully-stocked armory, kitchen and fridge, and most importantly...a FULLY-STOCKED BOOZE LOCKER. Well, I DO, at least."

[SRoss]

Max: "I'm worried the new girl might have an unhealthy obsession with Shinji."

Mirya: "She seems normal to me..."

[Arnie100]

Shinji: "THAT'S NORMAL?!"
Tenchi: "Oh, goodie...she's after you."
Ryoko: "Good for HER."
Ayeka: "Indeed!"

[SRoss]

Shinji: "THAT'S NORMAL?!"
Tenchi: "Oh, goodie...she's after you."
Ryoko: "Good for HER."
Ayeka: "Indeed!"

Yandere-chan: "I noticed you hanging out with Sempai, could I talk to you in the south storage room?"

One Week Later...

Erin: "Damn weirdest thing. After being absent for a week, Ryoko suddenly shows up at recess and tries to stab Ayeka in the face."

Sarah: "Probably mid-term stress."

[taalismn]

[
Arnie100: "Some of us have armored bunkers with a fully-stocked armory, kitchen and fridge, and most importantly...a FULLY-STOCKED BOOZE LOCKER. Well, I DO, at least."

"#Koff--glaucoma prescription--koff#"

[Alpha 11]

[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.

"Oh look...a metal pineapple in the pineapple salad!"(sound of grenade spoon detaching )

[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.

"Oh look...a metal pineapple in the pineapple salad!"(sound of grenade spoon detaching )

Random MCHS Student #1: "What the...?!"
Ransom MCHS Student #2: "They're goes the cafeteria again."

That's how many so for this week?

"At least the gas piping in the school has multiple easy-access shut-off points so we don't have to wait and call the gas company."

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."

"Much like how our teaching staff has the requirement; Must be able to dodge bullets."

Love that show!

[Alpha 11]

"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."

"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."

"Much like how our teaching staff has the requirement; Must be able to dodge bullets."

Arnie100: "Some of us have armored bunkers with a fully-stocked armory, kitchen and fridge, and most importantly...a FULLY-STOCKED BOOZE LOCKER. Well, I DO, at least."

And full pluming, also?

Max: "I'm worried the new girl might have an unhealthy obsession with Shinji."

Mirya: "She seems normal to me..."

Ya, crazy.

Shinji: "THAT'S NORMAL?!"
Tenchi: "Oh, goodie...she's after you."
Ryoko: "Good for HER."
Ayeka: "Indeed!"

RUN!!

Shinji: "THAT'S NORMAL?!"
Tenchi: "Oh, goodie...she's after you."
Ryoko: "Good for HER."
Ayeka: "Indeed!"

Yandere-chan: "I noticed you hanging out with Sempai, could I talk to you in the south storage room?"

One Week Later...

Erin: "Damn weirdest thing. After being absent for a week, Ryoko suddenly shows up at recess and tries to stab Ayeka in the face."

Sarah: "Probably mid-term stress."

[
Arnie100: "Some of us have armored bunkers with a fully-stocked armory, kitchen and fridge, and most importantly...a FULLY-STOCKED BOOZE LOCKER. Well, I DO, at least."

"#Koff--glaucoma prescription--koff#"

[taalismn]

Principle: "It worries me that our substance abuse classes seem to serve only give our faculty ideas as to what they're missing...."

[Alpha 11]

Principle: "It worries me that our substance abuse classes seem to serve only give our faculty ideas as to what they're missing...."

[taalismn]

"So...Flower of Life pollen has mind-altering effects? That's good to now, because LDS is no longer doing anything for me..."

[Arnie100]

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

[SRoss]

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

[taalismn]

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."

[SRoss]

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."

SRoss: "Won't help, she also stole the spare key to the vault in the Defence Against Dark Arts class."

[Arnie100]

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."

SRoss: "Won't help, she also stole the spare key to the vault in the Defence Against Dark Arts class."

Arnie100: "Huh...all she took was that cookbook...and one more...and I found the key on my desk..."
SRoss: "What was the orher cookbook?"
Arnie100: "TO SERVE MAN"
SRoss:

[taalismn]

Principle: "I suppose we should be happy none of the school kitchen ovens can fit a human being...."
Vice-principle: "Unless you dismember it first..."
Principle: "Let's try thinking positive thoughts, shall we?"
Vice-principle: "Yes. At least somebody else beat her to Buildings and Grounds' chainsaws."

[Alpha 11]

"So...Flower of Life pollen has mind-altering effects? That's good to now, because LDS is no longer doing anything for me..."

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."

SRoss: "Won't help, she also stole the spare key to the vault in the Defence Against Dark Arts class."

"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"

Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."

Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."

SRoss: "Won't help, she also stole the spare key to the vault in the Defence Against Dark Arts class."

Arnie100: "Huh...all she took was that cookbook...and one more...and I found the key on my desk..."
SRoss: "What was the orher cookbook?"
Arnie100: "TO SERVE MAN"
SRoss:

I'm just not going to ask.

Principle: "I suppose we should be happy none of the school kitchen ovens can fit a human being...."
Vice-principle: "Unless you dismember it first..."
Principle: "Let's try thinking positive thoughts, shall we?"
Vice-principle: "Yes. At least somebody else beat her to Buildings and Grounds' chainsaws."

[guardiandashi]

"So...Flower of Life pollen has mind-altering effects? That's good to now, because LDS is no longer doing anything for me..."

Arnie100: "Huh...all she took was that cookbook...and one more...and I found the key on my desk..."
SRoss: "What was the orher cookbook?"
Arnie100: "TO SERVE MAN"
SRoss:

I'm just not going to ask.

To Serve MAN was a giants cookbook in the chronicles of Narnia, "the Silver Chair"
lets just say id didn't have much to do with how to have a "MAN" as a guest for dinner, but had lots of options on how to prepare man as dinner.

[glitterboy2098]

actually, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man

[taalismn]

That whole tragedy, I imagine, would be an important part of galactic diplomacy courses beat into students from Day One of the course...
"Do NOT sell the planet, human race, or solar system, and be wary of anything that would appear, on the surface, to speak of outsider altruism. Remember what well-meaning businessmen and missionaries brought to the New World? Cultural upheaval and epidemics. Be careful or our own First Contact as a species will make those previous meetings look like happy handshakes."

[Alpha 11]

"So...Flower of Life pollen has mind-altering effects? That's good to now, because LDS is no longer doing anything for me..."

Arnie100: "Huh...all she took was that cookbook...and one more...and I found the key on my desk..."
SRoss: "What was the orher cookbook?"
Arnie100: "TO SERVE MAN"
SRoss:

I'm just not going to ask.

To Serve MAN was a giants cookbook in the chronicles of Narnia, "the Silver Chair"
lets just say id didn't have much to do with how to have a "MAN" as a guest for dinner, but had lots of options on how to prepare man as dinner.

actually, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man

Ouch! Well, at least they can try and fight back now.

That whole tragedy, I imagine, would be an important part of galactic diplomacy courses beat into students from Day One of the course...
"Do NOT sell the planet, human race, or solar system, and be wary of anything that would appear, on the surface, to speak of outsider altruism. Remember what well-meaning businessmen and missionaries brought to the New World? Cultural upheaval and epidemics. Be careful or our own First Contact as a species will make those previous meetings look like happy handshakes."

Well, for the epidemics, it went both way. And as for the cultural upheaval, I'm glad some of those civilations went down. I'm talking mostly of the Aztecs. Sorry..., actually I'm not, anyways, any civilation that does human sacrafices of any kind, HAS to be brought down.

[Arnie100]

Random MCHS Student #1: "I still can't believe they have cookbooks like that..."
Random MCHS Student #2: "I can't believe there are people who BUY those cookbooks..."
Random MCHS Student #1: "And what would they be doing in a school?"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'm seriously not eating in the cafeteria anymore."
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "Ditto."

[SRoss]

SRoss: "You're sure she took THAT cookbook?"

Arnie100: "Yeah. Why?"

SRoss points to the lunch room where Yandere-chan is giving Shinji a piece of pie...

Shinji: "This isn't one of those pies where you've baked your hair into it, is it?"

Yandere-chan: "No, of course not... I baked Asuka instead..."

[Arnie100]

Shinji, Arnie100 and SRoss:
Yandere-chan: "I was just joking..."
Shinji: "Whew..."
Yandere-chan: "There's only one way to find out...want a slice?"
Shinji: "No, thank you!"

[taalismn]

Baked Asuka? Baked Alaska? Verbal typo?
I don't think so....
Tsundere-bake.

[Arnie100]

P.A.: "Good morning, Students! We'd like to welcome our new head chef...Yandere-Chan!!!!"
Random MCHS Student #1:
Random MCHS Student #2: "Oh, God!!"

[SRoss]

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

[SRoss]

Dana: "Damn weirdest thing, Shinji got this card and shouted Nnnnoooo, and locked himself in the EVA cockpit and won't come out..."

[Arnie100]

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."

(Girl fight ensues...)

[SRoss]

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."

(Girl fight ensues...)

SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"

[Arnie100]

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."

(Girl fight ensues...)

SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"

Arnie100: "Godzilla or Cthulhu-size...Will that be enough?!"

[SRoss]

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."

(Girl fight ensues...)

SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"

Arnie100: "Godzilla or Cthulhu-size...Will that be enough?!"

SRoss: "No where close to what we'll need. Get the blowguns and the Setsuna trancs..."

[SRoss]

Meanwhile...

Taalismn: (Rapping on the EVA plug) "Shinji! Shinji! Come on, it's time for school. You have to get out of the EVA."

Alpha 11: "Besides, Makoto can't hurt you, someone dumped water on her in the bathroom and she got electrocuted trying to turn on the bathroom light."

Yandere-chan: (Giggles)

[taalismn]

Dana: "You remember when this was just a bad 'jailbait cop' parody, instead of a protracted exercise in student attrition?"
Nova: "Can't socialize now, Dana; too busy trying to figure out how to whack my alien teacher."
Dana: *sigh*

[SRoss]

Late that night, Dana slips into Shinji's room to borrow his biology notes ... and dives for cover as a hail of gunfire erupts...

Dana: "OH COME ON SHINJI! WHO MOUNTS SENTRY GUNS IN HIS BEDROOM!!!"

[taalismn]

Late that night, Dana slips into Shinji's room to borrow his biology notes ... and dives for cover as a hail of gunfire erupts...

Dana: "OH COME ON SHINJI! WHO MOUNTS SENTRY GUNS IN HIS BEDROOM!!!"

(from under the bed)"It's Asuka! If she kisses me she'll plant her offspring in my chest and they'll eat their way out!"
"...how long have you been NOT sleeping, Shinji?"

[Alpha 11]

Random MCHS Student #1: "I still can't believe they have cookbooks like that..."
Random MCHS Student #2: "I can't believe there are people who BUY those cookbooks..."
Random MCHS Student #1: "And what would they be doing in a school?"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'm seriously not eating in the cafeteria anymore."
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "Ditto."

SRoss: "You're sure she took THAT cookbook?"

Arnie100: "Yeah. Why?"

SRoss points to the lunch room where Yandere-chan is giving Shinji a piece of pie...

Shinji: "This isn't one of those pies where you've baked your hair into it, is it?"

Yandere-chan: "No, of course not... I baked Asuka instead..."

Shinji, Arnie100 and SRoss:
Yandere-chan: "I was just joking..."
Shinji: "Whew..."
Yandere-chan: "There's only one way to find out...want a slice?"
Shinji: "No, thank you!"

[Alpha 11]

Baked Asuka? Baked Alaska? Verbal typo?
I don't think so....
Tsundere-bake.

P.A.: "Good morning, Students! We'd like to welcome our new head chef...Yandere-Chan!!!!"
Random MCHS Student #1:
Random MCHS Student #2: "Oh, God!!"

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Dana: "Damn weirdest thing, Shinji got this card and shouted Nnnnoooo, and locked himself in the EVA cockpit and won't come out..."

[Alpha 11]

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."

(Girl fight ensues...)

So what's new?

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."

(Girl fight ensues...)

SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"

I think you need to be in another galaxy to be same for this one.

Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.

Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."

(Girl fight ensues...)

SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"

Arnie100: "Godzilla or Cthulhu-size...Will that be enough?!"

I'd say no.