Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

guardiandashi · Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:31 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
say652 wrote:"I have a Doctor's note for light duty. "

Chief Toombs: "So did I." (Scrubbing the latrines...with a TOOTHBRUSH)

Sarah: I had a medics note for light duty.... they had me putting Samas units into carrier racks by hand.....

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:33 pm

Pees on the Doctors shoes in the closet.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:45 pm

say652 wrote:Pees on the Doctors shoes in the closet.

Washuu: "Well, well, it looks like kitty has a bladder problem... This catheter should fix that." :twisted:

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 1:55 pm

Then sleep on a nice warm computer console, something in the weapon satellite room.
After I poop under the desk.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:09 pm

Roomba #1: <<Bloody cats!! >>
Roomba #2: <<Must have targetting profiles updated to include those disgusting animals!>>

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 6:36 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Roomba #1: <<Bloody cats!! >>
Roomba #2: <<Must have targetting profiles updated to include those disgusting animals!>>

Roomba #3: <<Brothers, I'm concerned that our cleaning profiles have been up dated to include blood!>>

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 9:19 pm

say652 wrote:Then sleep on a nice warm computer console, something in the weapon satellite room.
After I poop under the desk.

...you DO realize the computers in this school are homicidally enabled, don't you?
Their definition of 'in self defense' is pretty liberal, too.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:04 pm

Eat the house plants, shred the curtains, pee on her pillows, and constantly bring her dead guards.
Lay them at her feet sweet like.
"Reowr Reowr."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:13 pm

ED209: <<Targetting profiles updated...now including cats, plus the individual known as Mr. Snow.>>

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:03 pm

say652 wrote:Eat the house plants, shred the curtains, pee on her pillows, and constantly bring her dead guards.
Lay them at her feet sweet like.
"Reowr Reowr."

Considering the school uses flak curtains, that's pretty impressive.
And at MCHS#69. it's a 50-50 chance the house plants will eat YOU.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:39 pm

taalismn wrote:
say652 wrote:Eat the house plants, shred the curtains, pee on her pillows, and constantly bring her dead guards.
Lay them at her feet sweet like.
"Reowr Reowr."

Considering the school uses flak curtains, that's pretty impressive.
And at MCHS#69. it's a 50-50 chance the house plants will eat YOU.

SRoss: "Hey! Is there supposed to be a cat's tail sticking out of the pitcher plant?"

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:52 pm

"Get me out of here" the felinoid whispers. "She's listening." Suddenly pouncing on a ball of paper he rolls away kicking and batting at.
"Reowr."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:57 pm

Annie: "Look what I have for you, Mr. Kitty!" (Pulls out a ball of yarn...)
Mr. Snow: :shock:

"Reowr..." (As if hypnotized by the ball pf yarn...)
Annie: :twisted:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 9:06 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Annie: "Look what I have for you, Mr. Kitty!" (Pulls out a ball of yarn...)
Mr. Snow: "Reowr..." (As if hypnotized by the ball pf yarn...)
Annie:

"Anyone seen that ball of carbon nanofibre I left on my desk?"

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 9:07 pm

Sneaking up into the drop ceiling Mr Snow deftly evades the rampaging Annie and her string...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 9:17 pm

say652 wrote:Sneaking up into the drop ceiling Mr Snow deftly evades the rampaging Annie and her string...

You fool! That's where the xenomorphs are hiding!

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 10:16 pm

Several dead xenomorphs begin melting through the ceiling, then then floor.
The Mighty warcry "Reowr." Echoes through the Alien filled crawl space.
"Uurrrr Reowr."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 10:24 pm

Command Roomba: <<THAT'S IT!!! ALL UNITS FIND AND ELIMINATE MR. SNOW!!! FILTHY CATS!!!>>
Roomba #1: <<What's he got against cats?">>
Roomba #2: <<Other then the fact that they're disgusting creatures?>>
Roomba #1: <<Oh, right...>>

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 10:27 pm

"These taste like Wasabi and dryer lint, Reowr."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Mar 19, 2016 10:57 pm

Roomba #3: <<COMMAND! I have retreaved the WMD! Proceeding to assembly point!>>

SRoss: "HEY! COME BACK WITH THOSE HYPERFLEAS YOU CRAZY VACUUM CLEANER!" :badbad:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 1:32 pm

say652 wrote:Several dead xenomorphs begin melting through the ceiling, then then floor.
The Mighty warcry "Reowr." Echoes through the Alien filled crawl space.
"Uurrrr Reowr."

Then, of course, there are the ninjas.

And the students, who have learned to react to noises in the overheads, in one of two ways:
a) Run like Hell.
b) Open fire with the nastiest area of effect tactical weaponry you got.

"Does it bother you that our school seems intent on killing our students by exposing them to constant danger?"
"We're working on a post-apocalyptic agenda in which our students have to be prepared to face possible extinction from alien threats, and therefore we must expose and acclimate them to the full spectrum of physical and emotional shock they will be expected to encounter later in life."
"So we're pre-traumatizing them into functional sociopaths?"
"I prefer 'leaders of tomorrow'."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 1:36 pm

"Can't be as bad as Hogwarts. Seriously...evil professors, crazy headmaster, ghosts, monsters inside AND outside of the castle and some say they practice magic over there."
"Magic?! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Where is this place, anyways?"
"Scotland or England, I think."
"Crazy Englishmen."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 1:43 pm

"Does this mean I'm supposed to attack the students as well?"
Dropping from the ceiling and tearing the arm of an ED209 then beating the Robot to a sparking pile with it.
Then stalking down stairway towards the Gymnasium for a game of scratch the student while they scream in terror.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 2:38 pm

say652 wrote:"Does this mean I'm supposed to attack the students as well?"
Dropping from the ceiling and tearing the arm of an ED209 then beating the Robot to a sparking pile with it.
Then stalking down stairway towards the Gymnasium for a game of scratch the student while they scream in terror.

Means the students can attack YOU, so forget about calling your lawyer(the smart lawyers fear calls from the MC legal department, since the municipal lawyers have access to artillery, and Leonard's lawyers have access to nukes/reflex weaponry).

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 2:41 pm

Hehehe. Wedges double door so it's a single.
"Students there is free Pizza and chocolate milk in the cafeteria."

Confident he just vanquished several hundred students by poisoning them, Mr Snow was sure the school could afford his four cent raiser now.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 2:58 pm

say652 wrote:Hehehe. Wedges double door so it's a single.
"Students there is free Pizza and chocolate milk in the cafeteria."

Confident he just vanquished several hundred students by poisoning them, Mr Snow was sure the school could afford his four cent raiser now.

"Like we're going to fall for the 'free pizza' trick."
"Like we'd actually go into the cafeteria."

Mr. Snow's rather late to the semester...he missed the cannibalism period.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 3:32 pm

"Who eats in the cafeteria, anyways?!"
"Seriously...especially when the food tries to EAT you."
"Someone's never been here on Thanksgiving."
"Freaking man-eating turkeys."

(However...)

Edwards: "Hey, Kyle! Free pizza and chocolate milk in the cafeteria!"
Kyle: "Oh, goodie!"

(Down Below...)

Charon: :nh:

Edwards and Kyle: :cry:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 4:20 pm

No, Mister Snow doesn't get credit for killing Kyle or Edwards.
It's like trying to claim a head-bounty on dust bunnies(of the mundane, non-radioactive, gray goo nanoswarn, carnivorous kind).

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 4:33 pm

"What doo you mean your cutting my pay? ?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 4:53 pm

say652 wrote:"What doo you mean your cutting my pay? ?"

"You never got paid in the first place...it says in your contract 'permanent volunteer'."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 4:55 pm

"Why was the contact written in Sanskrit and I had to sign it in blood? ?"
Mr Snow also points out how he defeated the angry bald guy Krillin when he asked about the Field Trip to the underworld.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:43 pm

"Cats don't get paid."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:56 pm

"Oh look at mere immma Hoooman, derr deer deer."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:58 pm

say652 wrote:"Why was the contact written in Sanskrit and I had to sign it in blood? ?"
Mr Snow also points out how he defeated the angry bald guy Krillin when he asked about the Field Trip to the underworld.

"Translation is available in the Defense Against Dark Arts class. By the way, it's not Sanskit, it's Aklo."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 7:10 pm

"Soooo I wonder it's they're hiring at Hogwarts. ..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:03 pm

say652 wrote:"Soooo I wonder it's they're hiring at Hogwarts. ..."

Yes, but try not to be too put off when they start laughing while reading your resume...

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:05 pm

"I have a fourth grade education,light years ahead of the students here...."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:11 pm

say652 wrote:"I have a fourth grade education,light years ahead of the students here...."

"You could always transfer to Beacon."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:18 pm

There's a reason why MCHS#69 is known as 'the Career Graveyard'.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:21 pm

"My career was dead before I got here...."
Mr Snow says suddenly chewing on his ribcage.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:49 pm

say652 wrote:"My career was dead before I got here...."
Mr Snow says suddenly chewing on his ribcage.

Nah, quit chewing. We've got people who will do the autopsy for you.

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 9:04 pm

Kicking behind his ear, then vomiting a half eaten student on the office carpet.
"That's not mine..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:16 pm

"Well, Mr. Filch at Hogwarts IS looking for a mate for Mrs. Norris..."

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:26 pm

"So man eating Turkeys are given out you say....

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:31 pm

say652 wrote:"So man eating Turkeys are given out you say....

"They might think of you as a midnight snack."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:38 pm

say652 wrote:"So man eating Turkeys are given out you say....

SRoss: (Opening the back gate) "Welcome to Jurassic Turkey Park." :mrgreen:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:42 pm

SRoss: "Or maybe given this school, another theme would be more appropriate."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:43 pm

MCHS #69's version of a turkey: http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/arc ... 85950k.jpg

say652 · Unread post by **say652** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 10:52 pm

A wide crazy look fills Flying Snow eyes.
Suddenly in a frenzy of mean spirited glee he begins devouring Turkeys.
"Don't worry about the raise or paying me." Omnomnomnomnom. Crunch Crunch Crunch.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Mar 20, 2016 11:06 pm

The Turkey Leader arrays his warriors climbs on his War Mount and goes to confront the enemy.