Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[Arnie100]

Rand: "Where's Annie?! (Spots her on top of a graboid...complete with saddle) Oh, s**t..."
Annie: "RIDE 'EM, COWGIRL!!!"

[taalismn]

Rand: "I miss the days we were in Bloopers and doing foul-up skits."
Rook: "You were on fire half the time."
Rand: "Yea, but at least we had the dedicated EMT team there with the fire extinguishers handy. Here, we're lucky if there's a functional water fountain within range and the school sprinkler systems go off at all,"

[Arnie100]

Random MCHS Student #1: "Well, not everyday you see a little girl riding a giant worm."
Random MCHS Student #2: "No kidding. We're never gonna get that transfer are we?"
Random MCHS Student #1: "Nope."
Random MCHS Student #2: "Even if we do, it'll probably someplace worse then this."
Random MCHS Student #1: "What could be worse then this place?"

[taalismn]

Random MCHS Student #1: "What could be worse then this place?"

Kyle: "Edwards, do you EVER cllean this place?!"
Edwards: "Why bother? It's not like I live long enough to live in it."

[Alpha 11]

Rand: "Where's Annie?! (Spots her on top of a graboid...complete with saddle) Oh, s**t..."
Annie: "RIDE 'EM, COWGIRL!!!"

Rand: "I miss the days we were in Bloopers and doing foul-up skits."
Rook: "You were on fire half the time."
Rand: "Yea, but at least we had the dedicated EMT team there with the fire extinguishers handy. Here, we're lucky if there's a functional water fountain within range and the school sprinkler systems go off at all,"

Random MCHS Student #1: "Well, not everyday you see a little girl riding a giant worm."
Random MCHS Student #2: "No kidding. We're never gonna get that transfer are we?"
Random MCHS Student #1: "Nope."
Random MCHS Student #2: "Even if we do, it'll probably someplace worse then this."
Random MCHS Student #1: "What could be worse then this place?"

NEVER taught Murrfy.

Random MCHS Student #1: "What could be worse then this place?"

Kyle: "Edwards, do you EVER cllean this place?!"
Edwards: "Why bother? It's not like I live long enough to live in it."

[taalismn]

"GRADUATION DAY!!!!"
"-what's so good about it?"
"Some of us get to LEAVE!!!!"
"Time off for good behavior?"
"Please! We're a SCHOOL! Not a prison! They're obligated to eventually let us go if we make our grades! We finally get to go out and see the world!"
"Yes...onwards to Paris Island, Fort Zindernauf, Study Camp Siberia,-"
"Hey! I got a summer job already waiting for me!"
"Yeah, where?"
"Some high-tech, high-security firm! My parents musta pulled some serious strings to get me a position there! I guess they really DO love me! I can't wait to start working for them!"

"Welcome to Ice Guard. Here is your polar bear repellent, which may or may not work, depending on this month's mutation. You may wind up just shooting yourself with it, though odds are, either the wildlife or the weather will get you first. Now run along; Motorpool expects you to thaw out the crankcases on their snocats by the time breakfast rolls around."
"----i hate my parents----"

[SRoss]

Ah, summer at IceGuard, when it's warm enough that you can actually see the water under the ice.

[taalismn]

Ah, summer at IceGuard, when it's warm enough that you can actually see the water under the ice.

...and the KrystalSquid can see YOU on the surface of the ice...

[SRoss]

Ah, summer at IceGuard, when it's warm enough that you can actually see the water under the ice.

...and the KrystalSquid can see YOU on the surface of the ice...

"Excuse me sir! Why is that squid carrying a jug of wine, a loaf of bread and a French Peasant Girl?"

[taalismn]

[

"Excuse me sir! Why is that squid carrying a jug of wine, a loaf of bread and a French Peasant Girl?"

"Cthulu must have discovered the sewers of Paris."

[Arnie100]

"GRADUATION DAY!!!!"
"-what's so good about it?"
"Some of us get to LEAVE!!!!"
"Time off for good behavior?"
"Please! We're a SCHOOL! Not a prison! They're obligated to eventually let us go if we make our grades! We finally get to go out and see the world!"
"Yes...onwards to Paris Island, Fort Zindernauf, Study Camp Siberia,-"
"Hey! I got a summer job already waiting for me!"
"Yeah, where?"
"Some high-tech, high-security firm! My parents musta pulled some serious strings to get me a position there! I guess they really DO love me! I can't wait to start working for them!"

"Welcome to Ice Guard. Here is your polar bear repellent, which may or may not work, depending on this month's mutation. You may wind up just shooting yourself with it, though odds are, either the wildlife or the weather will get you first. Now run along; Motorpool expects you to thaw out the crankcases on their snocats by the time breakfast rolls around."
"----i hate my parents----"

"I'm sorry, but graduation doesn't include you guys. Apparently you failed to meet the requirements for graduation. Which means you'll be held back another year."

[taalismn]

[
"I'm sorry, but graduation doesn't include you guys. Apparently you failed to meet the requirements for graduation. Which means you'll be held back another year."

Obviously the school doesn't allow previous graduates to communicate with underclassmen...

[SRoss]

[
"I'm sorry, but graduation doesn't include you guys. Apparently you failed to meet the requirements for graduation. Which means you'll be held back another year."

Obviously the school doesn't allow previous graduates to communicate with underclassmen...

"The usual dumping err, Post Graduate assignment sites were full."

[taalismn]

[

"The usual dumping err, Post Graduate assignment sites were full."

"Ugh...I kinda pictured my first real summer job to different from school....Endless zombie horde, heh?"
The citizens of Alexandria stared in disbelief as the young man who'd appeared from nowhere casually walked past them, casually annihilating walkers with a bewildering variety of weaponry seemingly pulled from nowhere, while muttering to himself. Rick Grimes blinked as zombie body parts flew like confetti, before remembering himself and starting after the young man, intent on offering him a job.

[Alpha 11]

"GRADUATION DAY!!!!"
"-what's so good about it?"
"Some of us get to LEAVE!!!!"
"Time off for good behavior?"
"Please! We're a SCHOOL! Not a prison! They're obligated to eventually let us go if we make our grades! We finally get to go out and see the world!"
"Yes...onwards to Paris Island, Fort Zindernauf, Study Camp Siberia,-"
"Hey! I got a summer job already waiting for me!"
"Yeah, where?"
"Some high-tech, high-security firm! My parents musta pulled some serious strings to get me a position there! I guess they really DO love me! I can't wait to start working for them!"

"Welcome to Ice Guard. Here is your polar bear repellent, which may or may not work, depending on this month's mutation. You may wind up just shooting yourself with it, though odds are, either the wildlife or the weather will get you first. Now run along; Motorpool expects you to thaw out the crankcases on their snocats by the time breakfast rolls around."
"----i hate my parents----"

Ah, summer at IceGuard, when it's warm enough that you can actually see the water under the ice.

Ah, summer at IceGuard, when it's warm enough that you can actually see the water under the ice.

...and the KrystalSquid can see YOU on the surface of the ice...

Ah, summer at IceGuard, when it's warm enough that you can actually see the water under the ice.

...and the KrystalSquid can see YOU on the surface of the ice...

"Excuse me sir! Why is that squid carrying a jug of wine, a loaf of bread and a French Peasant Girl?"

[

"Excuse me sir! Why is that squid carrying a jug of wine, a loaf of bread and a French Peasant Girl?"

"Cthulu must have discovered the sewers of Paris."

"GRADUATION DAY!!!!"
"-what's so good about it?"
"Some of us get to LEAVE!!!!"
"Time off for good behavior?"
"Please! We're a SCHOOL! Not a prison! They're obligated to eventually let us go if we make our grades! We finally get to go out and see the world!"
"Yes...onwards to Paris Island, Fort Zindernauf, Study Camp Siberia,-"
"Hey! I got a summer job already waiting for me!"
"Yeah, where?"
"Some high-tech, high-security firm! My parents musta pulled some serious strings to get me a position there! I guess they really DO love me! I can't wait to start working for them!"

"Welcome to Ice Guard. Here is your polar bear repellent, which may or may not work, depending on this month's mutation. You may wind up just shooting yourself with it, though odds are, either the wildlife or the weather will get you first. Now run along; Motorpool expects you to thaw out the crankcases on their snocats by the time breakfast rolls around."
"----i hate my parents----"

"I'm sorry, but graduation doesn't include you guys. Apparently you failed to meet the requirements for graduation. Which means you'll be held back another year."

[
"I'm sorry, but graduation doesn't include you guys. Apparently you failed to meet the requirements for graduation. Which means you'll be held back another year."

Obviously the school doesn't allow previous graduates to communicate with underclassmen...

Won't be surprised.

[
"I'm sorry, but graduation doesn't include you guys. Apparently you failed to meet the requirements for graduation. Which means you'll be held back another year."

Obviously the school doesn't allow previous graduates to communicate with underclassmen...

"The usual dumping err, Post Graduate assignment sites were full."

[

"The usual dumping err, Post Graduate assignment sites were full."

"Ugh...I kinda pictured my first real summer job to different from school....Endless zombie horde, heh?"
The citizens of Alexandria stared in disbelief as the young man who'd appeared from nowhere casually walked past them, casually annihilating walkers with a bewildering variety of weaponry seemingly pulled from nowhere, while muttering to himself. Rick Grimes blinked as zombie body parts flew like confetti, before remembering himself and starting after the young man, intent on offering him a job.

Ya, I can see someone from that school reacting that way.

[taalismn]

"Zombies are just like crabgrass....you can get rid of them, but you have to be thorough about it."
"WHAT were they teaching you at that school?!"

[SRoss]

The students relax after their first day at IceGuard. Suddenly a haggard figure collapses through the door.

Sean Bean: "Winter is coming."

Random MCH #69 Student: (Powering up his Plasma Thrower) "White Walkers, Why did it have to be White Walkers?"

[taalismn]

The students relax after their first day at IceGuard. Suddenly a haggard figure collapses through the door.

Sean Bean: "Winter is coming."

Random MCH #69 Student: (Powering up his Plasma Thrower) "White Walkers, Why did it have to be White Walkers?"

That's when an education at MCHS#69 proves to be actually worth a damn...You hardly blink when xenomorphs charge you from the darkness, you're non-plused by body-invading demonic worms, alien invasions do not horrify you, and unspeakable abominations of mad science or eldritch monstrosities from distant ages past don't phase you.

[SRoss]

Jones: (Sipping his coffee-like substance) "Cold adapted warriors leading an army of the dead. That's a new one."

[Arnie100]

"As long as they're not singing 'Let It Go'..."

[taalismn]

"As long as they're not singing 'Let It Go'..."

Sergeant Amanda ‘Armaggedon’ Gideon:"That's why I rigged the ice with acoustically-triggered cobalt charges. They hit the high notes and -POW-....it will be =spectacular-."
Sergeant Rockwell: "Hey, aren;t those MY cobalt charges?!"

[SRoss]

"As long as they're not singing 'Let It Go'..."

Sergeant Amanda ‘Armaggedon’ Gideon:"That's why I rigged the ice with acoustically-triggered cobalt charges. They hit the high notes and -POW-....it will be =spectacular-."
Sergeant Rockwell: "Hey, aren;t those MY cobalt charges?!"

Sergeant Rockwell: "Ha! I've topped you! I rewired your acoustic trigger to the base's Reflex Furnace!"

The Rest of IceGuard:

[taalismn]

[

Sergeant Rockwell: "Ha! I've topped you! I rewired your acoustic trigger to the base's Reflex Furnace!"

The Rest of IceGuard:

"AH! When's the last time that thing made a noise? Because it DOESN'T WORK!"
Major Jones: "Sad, but true, we've been generating BTUs burning HQ's hardcopy missives about our performance evaluations."
Tolliver: "How can they write evaluations about us when they never send anybody up to evaluate us?"
"THey compare us on a simulated bell curve to better performing units, and make an educated speculation of our likely readiness percentiles based on that. Big clue: Mauve Squadron is NOT on the list of units we are compared to."
"So they're comparing us to elite units, and making up figures that make the top notch units even more shiny and us look like total doofuses?"
"Hole in one, Tolliver. According to the latest repots we'd have to start killing each other to increase our combat performance ratings."

[batlchip]

HHa, just try and kill me .I'll get the first shot (throws a punch)......You missed .Well...er.....umm..... (pulls out a tuna)

[taalismn]

HHa, just try and kill me .I'll get the first shot (throws a punch)......You missed .Well...er.....umm..... (pulls out a tuna)

"Fool! Everybody knows trout works best for that!"

[SRoss]

The Fourth Wall Gang enters the staff room to find the EShemarrian's sitting around drinking...

Arnie100: "MY STASH!!!"

SRoss: "Um, why are you here?"

Rei: "RIFTs has been optioned as a movie."

Taalismn: "I'd have thought that was a good thing?"

Rei: "By Disney..."

SRoss: "Arnie, I think their gonna need the hard stuff... "

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "Lucky I have the hard stuff in a secure spot for just such emergencies. Disney...huh???." (Hands bottles to everyone)
SRoss: "Let's get hammered!"

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "Lucky I have the hard stuff in a secure spot for just such emergencies. Disney...huh???." (Hands bottles to everyone)
SRoss: "Let's get hammered!"

"Thor...we didn't mean that literally...."

[SRoss]

Ava: "Hey guys! The nice Disney people gave me the sheet music for our songs!"

Firestormer: (At the thought of Ava singing Disney tunes, grabs Arnie100 by the the collar) "QUICK! HUMAN! HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR THIS ALCOHOL TO WORK!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS SOBER!!!"

[Arnie100]

Ava: "Hey guys! The nice Disney people gave me the sheet music for our songs!"

Firestormer: (At the thought of Ava singing Disney tunes, grabs Arnie100 by the the collar) "QUICK! HUMAN! HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR THIS ALCOHOL TO WORK!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS SOBER!!!"

Arnie100: "Have another bottle? Or a case?"

[taalismn]

"Goes quicker if you bypass the stomach altogether and take it intravenously...I don;t think using a garden hose is safe..."

[SRoss]

"Goes quicker if you bypass the stomach altogether and take it intravenously...I don;t think using a garden hose is safe..."

"I was planning to use Alecia's Matter Transporter to beam the alcohol molicules directly into my blood stream."

[taalismn]

Meanwhile, in the school biology lab, several faculty members have gone the route of having just their brains pickledpreserved in alcohol.

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "I wonder if I could build my own brewery, hhhmmmm..."

[taalismn]

Arnie100: "I wonder if I could build my own brewery, hhhmmmm..."

The internet is a wonderful thing.
Before it, though, magazines like Mother Earth used to regularly publish articles on building your own homebrew rigs.

[Arnie100]

Arnie100: "I wonder if I could build my own brewery, hhhmmmm..."

The internet is a wonderful thing.
Before it, though, magazines like Mother Earth used to regularly publish articles on building your own homebrew rigs.

Arnie100: "Too true. It would be for select staff members, of course!"

[taalismn]

[

Arnie100: "Too true. It would be for select staff members, of course!"

Kyle: "For me? What's the occasion?"
"First brew. Just making sure it's not poisonous. Employee appreciation day!"

[SRoss]

[

Arnie100: "Too true. It would be for select staff members, of course!"

Kyle: "For me? What's the occasion?"
"First brew. Just making sure it's not poisonous. Employee appreciation day!"

Urd: (Looking at Kyle) "OH COME ON! After all this time, you're still falling for this crap!?!"

Charon: "Glad I'm still on vacation."

[taalismn]

Kyle: "Used the wrong fermentation culture there, dude."
"Thanks."

[Arnie100]

[

Arnie100: "Too true. It would be for select staff members, of course!"

Kyle: "For me? What's the occasion?"
"First brew. Just making sure it's not poisonous. Employee appreciation day!"

Urd: (Looking at Kyle) "OH COME ON! After all this time, you're still falling for this crap!?!"

Charon: "Glad I'm still on vacation."

Charon: "Life is GOOD." (Sipping on a mai tai...)

[taalismn]

[

Charon: "Life is GOOD." (Sipping on a mai tai...)

Vacationing in the Greek isles?

[SRoss]

[

Charon: "Life is GOOD." (Sipping on a mai tai...)

Vacationing in the Greek isles?

Well, after the incident at the nude beach in Saint Tropez, he decided to stick with a place he knew.

[taalismn]

[

Well, after the incident at the nude beach in Saint Tropez, he decided to stick with a place he knew.

Showed up as a bare-bones skeleton, did he?

[Alpha 11]

[

Charon: "Life is GOOD." (Sipping on a mai tai...)

Vacationing in the Greek isles?

Well, after the incident at the nude beach in Saint Tropez, he decided to stick with a place he knew.

[

Well, after the incident at the nude beach in Saint Tropez, he decided to stick with a place he knew.

Showed up as a bare-bones skeleton, did he?

[

Arnie100: "Too true. It would be for select staff members, of course!"

Kyle: "For me? What's the occasion?"
"First brew. Just making sure it's not poisonous. Employee appreciation day!"

Urd: (Looking at Kyle) "OH COME ON! After all this time, you're still falling for this crap!?!"

Charon: "Glad I'm still on vacation."

Charon: "Life is GOOD." (Sipping on a mai tai...)

[taalismn]

[

Well, after the incident at the nude beach in Saint Tropez, he decided to stick with a place he knew.

Captain Morgan: "...I think we picked a bad time and place to come ashore..."

[Alpha 11]

[

Well, after the incident at the nude beach in Saint Tropez, he decided to stick with a place he knew.

Captain Morgan: "...I think we picked a bad time and place to come ashore..."

[taalismn]

"Let it not be said that MCHS#69 did not properly prepare its students for the real world. Our students, upon graduation, are sought by companies the world over for their preparedness, achievements, academic profile, and psychological readiness to enter the workplace."
"In other words, companies looking for workers whose will to resist has already been crushed, had resigned themselves to suffering and privation, or else are disposable cannonfodder or dogmeat."

[Arnie100]

Random MCHS Student #1: "You mean...we have to go OUT THERE?!" (Pointing at the gates of the school)
Random MCHS Student #2: "In the REAL world? Well, when you think about it...its probably safer then THIS place..."

[taalismn]

Random MCHS Student #2: "In the REAL world? Well, when you think about it...its probably safer then THIS place..."

(said as a hovercar blows by, its driver obliviously talking on a cellphone...)

[Arnie100]

Random MCHS Student #2: "In the REAL world? Well, when you think about it...its probably safer then THIS place..."

(said as a hovercar blows by, its driver obliviously talking on a cellphone...)

Random MCHS Student #2: "We're so screwed...."
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."