Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[taalismn]

[
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."

"Greetings, maggots! Welcome to Camp Lejune University!!!!"

[Arnie100]

[
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."

"Greetings, maggots! Welcome to Camp Lejune University!!!!"

New Recruit #1: "Can we go back to high school?"
New Recruit #2: "No kidding!"

[SRoss]

[
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."

"Greetings, maggots! Welcome to Camp Lejune University!!!!"

New Recruit #1: "Can we go back to high school?"
New Recruit #2: "No kidding!"

"You'll have to take that up with Dean Dessolk."

[taalismn]

"On the plus side, those graduating students of ours who are accepted into the Gloval Initiative have no fear of landing on hellworlds."

"Heh, high ambient radiation? Heavy gravity? Turbulent atmosphere? Tainted water and food? Vicious local ecology? Lemme tell yah about the xenomorph infestation at my old school..."

[Arnie100]

New Recruit #1: "We shoulda failed senior year...maybe we woulda been held back!"
New Recruit #2: "What if we do badly here? I mean how hard it can it be?:

[taalismn]

New Recruit #1: "We shoulda failed senior year...maybe we woulda been held back!"
New Recruit #2: "What if we do badly here? I mean how hard it can it be?:

"Dyin's easy in hard vacuum."

[Alpha 11]

"Let it not be said that MCHS#69 did not properly prepare its students for the real world. Our students, upon graduation, are sought by companies the world over for their preparedness, achievements, academic profile, and psychological readiness to enter the workplace."
"In other words, companies looking for workers whose will to resist has already been crushed, had resigned themselves to suffering and privation, or else are disposable cannonfodder or dogmeat."

Random MCHS Student #1: "You mean...we have to go OUT THERE?!" (Pointing at the gates of the school)
Random MCHS Student #2: "In the REAL world? Well, when you think about it...its probably safer then THIS place..."

Random MCHS Student #2: "In the REAL world? Well, when you think about it...its probably safer then THIS place..."

(said as a hovercar blows by, its driver obliviously talking on a cellphone...)

Random MCHS Student #2: "In the REAL world? Well, when you think about it...its probably safer then THIS place..."

(said as a hovercar blows by, its driver obliviously talking on a cellphone...)

Random MCHS Student #2: "We're so screwed...."
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."

[
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."

"Greetings, maggots! Welcome to Camp Lejune University!!!!"

[
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."

"Greetings, maggots! Welcome to Camp Lejune University!!!!"

New Recruit #1: "Can we go back to high school?"
New Recruit #2: "No kidding!"

[Alpha 11]

[
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "I wonder what college life is like..."

"Greetings, maggots! Welcome to Camp Lejune University!!!!"

New Recruit #1: "Can we go back to high school?"
New Recruit #2: "No kidding!"

"You'll have to take that up with Dean Dessolk."

"On the plus side, those graduating students of ours who are accepted into the Gloval Initiative have no fear of landing on hellworlds."

"Heh, high ambient radiation? Heavy gravity? Turbulent atmosphere? Tainted water and food? Vicious local ecology? Lemme tell yah about the xenomorph infestation at my old school..."

New Recruit #1: "We shoulda failed senior year...maybe we woulda been held back!"
New Recruit #2: "What if we do badly here? I mean how hard it can it be?:

New Recruit #1: "We shoulda failed senior year...maybe we woulda been held back!"
New Recruit #2: "What if we do badly here? I mean how hard it can it be?:

"Dyin's easy in hard vacuum."

[taalismn]

"I'd feel a lot better about graduating if my high school diploma hadn't self-destructed a day after we left. What did they do, print it on contact paper?!"

[Arnie100]

"Should you choose to graduate, this diploma will self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...1"
KKKKAAAAAA-BBBBBBLLLLLLLAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

(Later, infirmary...)

"What happened to you?!"
"Diploma blew up..."

[taalismn]

"Should you choose to graduate, this diploma will self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...1"
KKKKAAAAAA-BBBBBBLLLLLLLAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

(Later, infirmary...)

"What happened to you?!"
"Diploma blew up..."

"This is the final simulation of real life. Congratulations; from here on out there will be no warning shots, no do-overs, no fall-backs. You will catch it all in the face."
"Sir, a graduation speech is supposed to INSPIRE, not drive to psychotic depression or acute paranoia."
"Nobody warned ME, especially about jobs like this. I AM doing them a last favor with this warning."

[SRoss]

Command Roomba: <Roomba #5! Where did you place the extra diplomas?>

Roomba #5: <Edwards' office.>

#FFFFFWWWWWWOOOOOOOMMMMMPPPPP!!!!#

Hild: "Thermite ink on Contact Paper... Never thought of that one."

[taalismn]

"He's truly a man of letters."
"Yeah, T-N-T, A-N-F-O, I-E-D, F-A-E."

[SRoss]

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

[taalismn]

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

Dana: "The alternate fitout for the Spartas is a projectile cannon, right? We got area of effect rounds, right? beehive frags? Tac-nukes?"

[SRoss]

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

Dana: "The alternate fitout for the Spartas is a projectile cannon, right? We got area of effect rounds, right? beehive frags? Tac-nukes?"

The Roombas approach the Hovertank in reverence.

[Arnie100]

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

Dana: "KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYLLLLLEEEE!!!!!!"

[taalismn]

SRoss (looking at the spread of 105mm cannon round flechettes embedded in the armor-glas window):"....amazing what they're doing with plastic composites these days, isn't it?..."

[Alpha 11]

"I'd feel a lot better about graduating if my high school diploma hadn't self-destructed a day after we left. What did they do, print it on contact paper?!"

"Should you choose to graduate, this diploma will self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...1"
KKKKAAAAAA-BBBBBBLLLLLLLAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

(Later, infirmary...)

"What happened to you?!"
"Diploma blew up..."

"Should you choose to graduate, this diploma will self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...1"
KKKKAAAAAA-BBBBBBLLLLLLLAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!

(Later, infirmary...)

"What happened to you?!"
"Diploma blew up..."

"This is the final simulation of real life. Congratulations; from here on out there will be no warning shots, no do-overs, no fall-backs. You will catch it all in the face."
"Sir, a graduation speech is supposed to INSPIRE, not drive to psychotic depression or acute paranoia."
"Nobody warned ME, especially about jobs like this. I AM doing them a last favor with this warning."

Command Roomba: <Roomba #5! Where did you place the extra diplomas?>

Roomba #5: <Edwards' office.>

#FFFFFWWWWWWOOOOOOOMMMMMPPPPP!!!!#

Hild: "Thermite ink on Contact Paper... Never thought of that one."

"He's truly a man of letters."
"Yeah, T-N-T, A-N-F-O, I-E-D, F-A-E."

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

Dana: "The alternate fitout for the Spartas is a projectile cannon, right? We got area of effect rounds, right? beehive frags? Tac-nukes?"

[Alpha 11]

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

Dana: "The alternate fitout for the Spartas is a projectile cannon, right? We got area of effect rounds, right? beehive frags? Tac-nukes?"

The Roombas approach the Hovertank in reverence.

Staff Room...

Arnie 100: "What are you doing?"

SRoss: "If you must know, I'm using Dana Stirling's account to buy English Pounds while there cheap."

Taalismn: "You know what she'll do if she catches you."

SRoss: "That's why I'm using Kyle's laptop."

Dana: "KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYLLLLLEEEE!!!!!!"

SRoss (looking at the spread of 105mm cannon round flechettes embedded in the armor-glas window):"....amazing what they're doing with plastic composites these days, isn't it?..."

I needed some laughs!

[SRoss]

SRoss (looking at the spread of 105mm cannon round flechettes embedded in the armor-glas window):"....amazing what they're doing with plastic composites these days, isn't it?..."

I needed some laughs!

Indeed, in many ways I'm glad that after the last near-universe ending incident, we replaced the old Staff bunker with a Type 40 TARDIS with a well tuned HADS system.

[taalismn]

[

Indeed, in many ways I'm glad that after the last near-universe ending incident, we replaced the old Staff bunker with a Type 40 TARDIS with a well tuned HADS system.

The universe actually DID end. It's just that it was instantaneously replaced with an exact duplicate.

[Alpha 11]

[

Indeed, in many ways I'm glad that after the last near-universe ending incident, we replaced the old Staff bunker with a Type 40 TARDIS with a well tuned HADS system.

The universe actually DID end. It's just that it was instantaneously replaced with an exact duplicate.

[taalismn]

"Our Summer Class Seminar will be 'Universal Virtual Reality and Existentialism: Or, Am I Really Sitting In This Class Right Now?'"
"Otherwise known as 'Mind####ery 202."

[Alpha 11]

"Our Summer Class Seminar will be 'Universal Virtual Reality and Existentialism: Or, Am I Really Sitting In This Class Right Now?'"
"Otherwise known as 'Mind####ery 202."

[taalismn]

Now, are you really reading this, or are you only imagining you're reading it?
You want the red pill?

[Arnie100]

"NO!!! TAKE THE BLUE PILL!!" (Grabs both pills and swallows them...)

[taalismn]

Kyle: "You still haven't paid me."
Secretary: "Yes we did; you're just imagining that we haven't paid you."
Kyle: "No, you really didn't pay me!"
Secretary: "We paid you already. You're just in denial."
Kyle: "NO, you're the ones imagining that you can fool me into believing you really paid me when in reality you callously haven't!!!"
Secretary: "How long have you had problems distinguishing reality from your paranoid persecution fantasies?"

[Alpha 11]

Now, are you really reading this, or are you only imagining you're reading it?
You want the red pill?

"NO!!! TAKE THE BLUE PILL!!" (Grabs both pills and swallows them...)

Kyle: "You still haven't paid me."
Secretary: "Yes we did; you're just imagining that we haven't paid you."
Kyle: "No, you really didn't pay me!"
Secretary: "We paid you already. You're just in denial."
Kyle: "NO, you're the ones imagining that you can fool me into believing you really paid me when in reality you callously haven't!!!"
Secretary: "How long have you had problems distinguishing reality from your paranoid persecution fantasies?"

[Arnie100]

Secretary: "Mr. Kyle, volunteers do not get paid."
Kyle: "Wait...I volunteered? I never volunteered!"
Edwards: "Yeah, you did. You just don't remember."
Kyle: "And how do you know this?!"
Edwards: "I volunteered you when you were drunk."
Kyle:

[SRoss]

Secretary: "Mr. Kyle, volunteers do not get paid."
Kyle: "Wait...I volunteered? I never volunteered!"
Edwards: "Yeah, you did. You just don't remember."
Kyle: "And how do you know this?!"
Edwards: "I volunteered you when you were drunk."
Kyle:

Lisa: "Just like how I volunteered Edwards while he was sleeping off the rhino trancs."

[taalismn]

Lisa: "And I just welded Sue Graham into a school locker. Wonder if anybody's let her out yet?"

[Alpha 11]

Secretary: "Mr. Kyle, volunteers do not get paid."
Kyle: "Wait...I volunteered? I never volunteered!"
Edwards: "Yeah, you did. You just don't remember."
Kyle: "And how do you know this?!"
Edwards: "I volunteered you when you were drunk."
Kyle:

Secretary: "Mr. Kyle, volunteers do not get paid."
Kyle: "Wait...I volunteered? I never volunteered!"
Edwards: "Yeah, you did. You just don't remember."
Kyle: "And how do you know this?!"
Edwards: "I volunteered you when you were drunk."
Kyle:

Lisa: "Just like how I volunteered Edwards while he was sleeping off the rhino trancs."

Lisa: "And I just welded Sue Graham into a school locker. Wonder if anybody's let her out yet?"

[SRoss]

Secretary: "Besides, Mr Edwards and Mr Kyle, according to our records, the two of you have been officially declared dead on multiple occasions. This institution is not in the habit of paying dead people."

[taalismn]

Secretary: "Besides, Mr Edwards and Mr Kyle, according to our records, the two of you have been officially declared dead on multiple occasions. This institution is not in the habit of paying dead people."

"Do we at least get burial expenses?"
"Only if you sleep in a crematorium."

[batlchip]

*sound of boot steps echoing though the room. Your not in Kanas any more ! (Camera pans up to a scared but pretty face).Your on Pandora.If there's a hell you might want to go there for some R &R. Because on Pandora; Every living thing
wants to kill you and eat your eyes for juju beans.(Priss starts walking)Now it is my job take keep you all alive.(stops looks around at the crowd.)sadly I will not succeed (shakes head and glarea at the crowd.)not with all of you.but those who do make it Wel-(Lisa sticks her head in though the door) Priss stop scaring the cherries.

[taalismn]

*sound of boot steps echoing though the room. Your not in Kanas any more ! (Camera pans up to a scared but pretty face).Your on Pandora.If there's a hell you might want to go there for some R &R. Because on Pandora; Every living thing
wants to kill you and eat your eyes for juju beans.(.

"Whereas in New Jersey they will take your wallet, your pants, and leave you in a hotel room bathtub filled with ice and your kidneys missing."
"...still not helping calm nerves any..."

[batlchip]

*sound of boot steps echoing though the room. Your not in Kanas any more ! (Camera pans up to a scared but pretty face).Your on Pandora.If there's a hell you might want to go there for some R &R. Because on Pandora; Every living thing
wants to kill you and eat your eyes for juju beans.(.

"Whereas in New Jersey they will take your wallet, your pants, and leave you in a hotel room bathtub filled with ice and your kidneys missing."
"...still not helping calm nerves any..."

Kagato :Could be worse we could have been stationed on your nomma.

[taalismn]

[

Kagato :Could be worse we could have been stationed on your nomma.

"Port of call: Bayonne."

[Arnie100]

Port of Call: "Where the heck are we?!"

[taalismn]

Port of Call: "Where the heck are we?!"

"You are in super-secret EBSIS nuclear-proof and orbital bombardment-proof submarine pen. Now answer question of mine, or else be enjoying anger of righteous proletariat security apparatus defending motherland; how the hell did you get in here?"

[SRoss]

Port of Call: "Where the heck are we?!"

"You are in super-secret EBSIS nuclear-proof and orbital bombardment-proof submarine pen. Now answer question of mine, or else be enjoying anger of righteous proletariat security apparatus defending motherland; how the hell did you get in here?"

"Dude ... That was easy, I'm part of Minmei's entourage..."

(Sound of a heavy receiver being drawn back)

"ALRIGHT!!! NO ONE MESSES WITH MY PEEPS BUT ME!!!"

[taalismn]

"We survive Nazis, we survive Stalin, we survive hardliners, we survive Putin, we survive capitalists, we survive Zentraedi Rain of Death, now this..... WHY ARE WE BEING PICKED ON?! IS NOT HEAVEN SOCIALIST?!"

[Arnie100]

"Who was driving?!"

(Kyle tries to crawl away...)

[taalismn]

"Who was driving?!"

(Kyle tries to crawl away...)

"'Magic School Bus' my ass....it's more like the 'Minivan From Hell'."

[guardiandashi]

Port of Call: "Where the heck are we?!"

"You are in super-secret EBSIS nuclear-proof and orbital bombardment-proof submarine pen. Now answer question of mine, or else be enjoying anger of righteous proletariat security apparatus defending motherland; how the hell did you get in here?"

if it was my Character "Alecia" the answer would more likely be:

A) Not Sure I think a dimensional flux or rift picked me up from where I was... And dropped me off here.
or
B) I transported in using a matter to energy teleportation system, you should be happy I decided to transport myself in, rather than a bomb, as I could have dropped off a nuke, or about 10kg of antimatter if you would really prefer.

[SRoss]

Port of Call: "Where the heck are we?!"

"You are in super-secret EBSIS nuclear-proof and orbital bombardment-proof submarine pen. Now answer question of mine, or else be enjoying anger of righteous proletariat security apparatus defending motherland; how the hell did you get in here?"

if it was my Character "Alecia" the answer would more likely be:

A) Not Sure I think a dimensional flux or rift picked me up from where I was... And dropped me off here.
or
B) I transported in using a matter to energy teleportation system, you should be happy I decided to transport myself in, rather than a bomb, as I could have dropped off a nuke, or about 10kg of antimatter if you would really prefer.

EBSIS Interrogator: "I don't know if its the loneliness, or the vodka poisoning getting to my brain? But that's the most sensible answer I've had all week."

[taalismn]

[
EBSIS Interrogator: "I don't know if its the loneliness, or the vodka poisoning getting to my brain? But that's the most sensible answer I've had all week."

EBSIS Sergeant: "Told you to quit watching those American politics..."

[batlchip]

[
EBSIS Interrogator: "I don't know if its the loneliness, or the vodka poisoning getting to my brain? But that's the most sensible answer I've had all week."

EBSIS Sergeant: "Told you to quit watching those American politics..."

EBSIS Intrerrogator:" What do yo-(Blam!)

EBSIS Sergeant:
Minmei: hmmp (k-chingk)

[SRoss]

[
EBSIS Interrogator: "I don't know if its the loneliness, or the vodka poisoning getting to my brain? But that's the most sensible answer I've had all week."

EBSIS Sergeant: "Told you to quit watching those American politics..."

EBSIS Intrerrogator:" What do yo-(Blam!)

EBSIS Sergeant:
Minmei: hmmp (k-chingk)

Ava: "Couldn't we just hug it out?"