Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:31 pm

SRoss wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

22) Mara staffs the school store.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but souls are not legal tender in Monument City."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:34 pm

Little Hild: (Arriving at Home Room) "I wonder what chaos I can cause here?" :demon:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:50 pm

SRoss wrote:Little Hild: (Arriving at Home Room) "I wonder what chaos I can cause here?"

(Winds up seated in a school student desk that's been covered and surrounded in containment wards)
"...that Dark Arts Defense teacher is TOO good..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:39 am

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:Little Hild: (Arriving at Home Room) "I wonder what chaos I can cause here?"

(Winds up seated in a school student desk that's been covered and surrounded in containment wards)
"...that Dark Arts Defense teacher is TOO good..."

Hild: "Wait a minute! These wards aren't silver! There solder dipped in glitter!!! WHO DO THEY THINK THEY'RE DEALING WITH!!!"

Federoff: "Please being settled down Arnie100. School authorised purchase of silver wards from liquor budget, da? Is much to expect them also spring for express delivery... You will have to wait for them to come surface mail like everyone else."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:49 am

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

23) Vince McMahon the new sensha-dō coach.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 1:33 am

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:Little Hild: (Arriving at Home Room) "I wonder what chaos I can cause here?"

(Winds up seated in a school student desk that's been covered and surrounded in containment wards)
"...that Dark Arts Defense teacher is TOO good..."

Hild: "Wait a minute! These wards aren't silver! There solder dipped in glitter!!! WHO DO THEY THINK THEY'RE DEALING WITH!!!"

Federoff: "Please being settled down Arnie100. School authorised purchase of silver wards from liquor budget, da? Is much to expect them also spring for express delivery... You will have to wait for them to come surface mail like everyone else."

Arnie100: "Bloody snail mail...I need another drink..."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 1:53 am

Lynn Kyle :"you know dispit everything I haven't meet a single bad teacher here."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 10:23 am

batlchip wrote:Lynn Kyle :"you know dispit everything I haven't meet a single bad teacher here."

"Welcome to Cooking class Mr. Kyle. I'll be your teacher, my name is Hannibal Lecter." :fl:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 1:14 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

24) Soylent Green is the new meat product in the kitchen.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 1:16 pm

SRoss wrote:
batlchip wrote:Lynn Kyle :"you know dispit everything I haven't meet a single bad teacher here."

"Welcome to Cooking class Mr. Kyle. I'll be your teacher, my name is Hannibal Lecter."

"Keep Mister Lector away from the cooking wine...and anything sharp. And keep all body parts away from his teeth."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 1:58 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

25) Izetta is teaching Pilot's Ed...

Izetta: "Wait, so none of you have flown on an Anti-Tank Rifle before?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 2:49 pm

SRoss wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

25) Izetta is teaching Pilot's Ed...

Izetta: "Wait, so none of you have flown on an Anti-Tank Rifle before?"

"Does an IED count?"

(Flashback shot of Edwards screaming as he flies across the school courtyard straddling a flaming length of water piping)

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 3:01 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
batlchip wrote:Lynn Kyle :"you know dispit everything I haven't meet a single bad teacher here."

"Welcome to Cooking class Mr. Kyle. I'll be your teacher, my name is Hannibal Lecter."

"Keep Mister Lector away from the cooking wine...and anything sharp. And keep all body parts away from his teeth."

"It's PEOPLE! It's PEO -- aaaaagggghhhh!" (Knife protruding from back)
Mr. Lector: "What? I didn't do anything."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 7:03 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

25) Izetta is teaching Pilot's Ed...

Izetta: "Wait, so none of you have flown on an Anti-Tank Rifle before?"

"Does an IED count?"

(Flashback shot of Edwards screaming as he flies across the school courtyard straddling a flaming length of water piping)

Lunk: "Uh, yeah, if anyone asks that was just one of Annie's birthday fireworks."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 9:23 pm

SRoss wrote:[

Lunk: "Uh, yeah, if anyone asks that was just one of Annie's birthday fireworks."

"Wouldn't have guessed by the big white phosphorus explosion when it impacted."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:40 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

Lunk: "Uh, yeah, if anyone asks that was just one of Annie's birthday fireworks."

"Wouldn't have guessed by the big white phosphorus explosion when it impacted."

In Tartarus...

Mara: "WOW! GHOST RIDER! I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!!!"

Edwards: (On fire) "No, it's just me again." :nh:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Oct 20, 2016 12:55 pm

Mara: "Again?!"
Edwards: "That school is DANGEROUS!" :frazz:

Mara: "A school? Really, now?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:33 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Mara: "Again?!"
Edwards: "That school is DANGEROUS!"
Mara: "A school? Really, now?"

Apparently her little avatar hasn't been able to report in yet that she's in serious trouble(currently trapped in a gerbil cage in the DADA classroom).

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:07 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Mara: "Again?!"
Edwards: "That school is DANGEROUS!"
Mara: "A school? Really, now?"

Apparently her little avatar hasn't been able to report in yet that she's in serious trouble(currently trapped in a gerbil cage in the DADA classroom).

Annie: "It's such a cute, little thing."
Arnie100: :shock:

(Walks into classroom and walks back out again...) "Time for another drink..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:27 pm

"Though how you got her to run on the little hamster wheel is beyond me..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Oct 20, 2016 3:50 pm

taalismn wrote:"Though how you got her to run on the little hamster wheel is beyond me..."

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

26) New Power Source for the school.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:01 pm

Meanwhile, in the Defence Against Dark Arts classroom...

Kyle: "Hello! Anyone here? Oh one of those Claw games."

After several minutes and a pile of tokens...

Kyle:

"DAMN MACHINE IS RIGGED!!!"

(Kicks machine over)

As hoards of small ninja flood out of the class room.

Command Roomba: <<WARNING! ALERTING ALL FLESHBAGS! MANY NINJA HAVE ENTERED THE SCHOOL FROM THE DEFENCE AGAINST DARK ARTS CLASS ROOM! 98% OF ROOMBAS NO LONGER COMBAT EFFECTIVE!!! BLAME KYLE! AVENGE US!>>

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Oct 21, 2016 4:09 pm

SRoss wrote:Meanwhile, in the Defence Against Dark Arts classroom...

Kyle: "Hello! Anyone here? Oh one of those Claw games."

After several minutes and a pile of tokens...

Kyle: "DAMN MACHINE IS RIGGED!!!" (Kicks machine over)

As hoards of small ninja flood out of the class room.

Command Roomba: <<WARNING! ALERTING ALL FLESHBAGS! MANY NINJA HAVE ENTERED THE SCHOOL FROM THE DEFENCE AGAINST DARK ARTS CLASS ROOM! 98% OF ROOMBAS NO LONGER COMBAT EFFECTIVE!!! BLAME KYLE! AVENGE US!>>

Arnie100:

"Anyone else wanna get drunk?"

(Meanwhile down in Tartarus...)

Mara: "What's your story?"
Kyle: "Mini-ninjas..." :nh:

Edwards: "Bwahahahahahaha!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:12 pm

MCH #69, Night, In a darkened corridor...

Sachiko: (Giggling) "Hey lady, do you want to play a game?" :twisted:

Rook: "God I hate Halloween..." :nh:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Oct 23, 2016 10:52 pm

SRoss wrote:MCH #69, Night, In a darkened corridor...

Sachiko: (Giggling) "Hey lady, do you want to play a game?"

Rook: "God I hate Halloween..."

"At least it's not a clown."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 24, 2016 2:00 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:MCH #69, Night, In a darkened corridor...

Sachiko: (Giggling) "Hey lady, do you want to play a game?"

Rook: "God I hate Halloween..."

"At least it's not a clown."

Pennywise: (Appearing behind Rand) "You called..." :demon:

Hild: "You know, I think I'm going to like it here."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 24, 2016 3:00 pm

(Pennywise finds himself staring into the gun barrels of half a dozen MAC IIs...with Annie sitting on top of one...)

Annie: "I hate clowns." :twisted:

Pennywise: :shock:

"Oh, s**t..."
Hild: "Get him, girlfriend!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 24, 2016 8:28 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(Pennywise finds himself staring into the gun barrels of half a dozen MAC IIs...with Annie sitting on top of one...)

Annie: "I hate clowns."
Pennywise: "Oh, s**t..."
Hild: "Get him, girlfriend!"

"What? You were expecting a co-ed massacre? You came to the wrong school for that."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 24, 2016 9:07 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:(Pennywise finds himself staring into the gun barrels of half a dozen MAC IIs...with Annie sitting on top of one...)

Annie: "I hate clowns."
Pennywise: "Oh, s**t..."
Hild: "Get him, girlfriend!"

"What? You were expecting a co-ed massacre? You came to the wrong school for that."

"MCH #69, Where the Cheerleaders hunt the mask wearing psycho."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 24, 2016 10:18 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:(Pennywise finds himself staring into the gun barrels of half a dozen MAC IIs...with Annie sitting on top of one...)

Annie: "I hate clowns."
Pennywise: "Oh, s**t..."
Hild: "Get him, girlfriend!"

"What? You were expecting a co-ed massacre? You came to the wrong school for that."

"MCH #69, Where the Cheerleaders hunt the mask wearing psycho."

Freddy: (Running into Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers...) "Not that school! Not that school!" (Flees in absolute terror...)
Freddy and Jason: :-?

(Notices heavily-armed band of females heading in their direction) :shock:

(before turning and running in Freddy's direction...)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 25, 2016 7:44 pm

Chucky(Openning eyes):"Heehhehehhehe.....uh oh..."(realizes he's strapped into a seat on a school bus pulling into MCHS#69)

"Aren't you girls a little old to be playing with dolls?"
"This? It's not a doll...it's a crash test dummy."
"Let's try the two seater city-car with fully-loaded gasohol tanker collision combo next!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Oct 26, 2016 2:14 pm

Pinhead: "I think my puzzle box is much safer..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Oct 26, 2016 7:48 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Pinhead: "I think my puzzle box is much safer..."

"Commencing structural integrity test with the Factory Satellite metal press."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Oct 27, 2016 8:35 pm

Lady Hild: (Walking into the cafeteria) "I wonder what chaos I can cause here?"

Erin: :eek:

"EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!" :eek:

FFFFFFFFFWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Fire alarms and sprinklers go off....

Scott: "What's that smell?" :-?

Rand: "Kinda smells like burning Angel Eater..."

Angel Eater: (Rolling on the floor burning) "Why! Why was I given the ability to feel pain!?!"

Lady Hild: (Walking away, brushing flames off herself) "Well that was close! Almost got cau ... Lavender?"

Ava: (Grabbing Hild in a hug) :love:

"THERE YOU ARE! YOU'VE BEEN A BAD GIRL. OFF TO DETENTION FOR YOU!" :love:

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:37 pm

Dana:"so Frankenstein,Dracula,and the wolf man walk into a bar."
Nova:"Dana how's that joke supposed to be funny?"
Dana:"oh,that's because it's an MCHS# 69 bar."
Nova:"Dana that's not funny that's cruel.."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Oct 30, 2016 11:44 pm

Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolfman: "Oh, s**t!" (Runs for the door, but blocked by large bank-style vault door)
Girls: "We are no longer victims...we are the HUNTERS. YOU ARE THE PREY."
Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolfman: :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 8:01 pm

batlchip wrote:Dana:"so Frankenstein,Dracula,and the wolf man walk into a bar."
Nova:"Dana how's that joke supposed to be funny?"
Dana:"oh,that's because it's an MCHS# 69 bar."
Nova:"Dana that's not funny that's cruel.."

Student #1: "We have a bar? But we're MINORS! We're not allowed to have alcohol."
Stident #2: "You have no idea of how your teenage years are supposed to go, do you? Really?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:41 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

27) Replace the targets on the Firing Range with Schrodinger from Hellsing, and charging per shot.

Seras: (Carrying a GAU-8, slaps down a Gold Card) "I'm going to be awhile..." :twisted:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 10:45 pm

taalismn wrote:
batlchip wrote:Dana:"so Frankenstein,Dracula,and the wolf man walk into a bar."
Nova:"Dana how's that joke supposed to be funny?"
Dana:"oh,that's because it's an MCHS# 69 bar."
Nova:"Dana that's not funny that's cruel.."

Student #1: "We have a bar? But we're MINORS! We're not allowed to have alcohol."
Stident #2: "You have no idea of how your teenage years are supposed to go, do you? Really?"

Arnie100: "You know Urd, the whole point of me having a private stock was so I WOULDN'T have to share with the students." :badbad:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 31, 2016 11:52 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
batlchip wrote:Dana:"so Frankenstein,Dracula,and the wolf man walk into a bar."
Nova:"Dana how's that joke supposed to be funny?"
Dana:"oh,that's because it's an MCHS# 69 bar."
Nova:"Dana that's not funny that's cruel.."

Student #1: "We have a bar? But we're MINORS! We're not allowed to have alcohol."
Stident #2: "You have no idea of how your teenage years are supposed to go, do you? Really?"

Arnie100: "You know Urd, the whole point of me having a private stock was so I WOULDN'T have to share with the students."

Arnie100: "If you share with the others...you don't get any, either..."
Urd: :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Nov 03, 2016 7:08 pm

It's worse...Arnie booby-traps his stock.
I should know; he commissioned me to help design the traps.....

When that first false wall of bottles goes up, sending a flying storm of armor-glass shards blasting at yah....

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Nov 03, 2016 8:30 pm

taalismn wrote:It's worse...Arnie booby-traps his stock.
I should know; he commissioned me to help design the traps.....

When that first false wall of bottles goes up, sending a flying storm of armor-glass shards blasting at yah....

Meanwhile, as Urd and Arnie dive to avoid the flying glass...

Erin: "So, all you Magical Girls have to do this long transformation sequence?"

Rei: "Yeah. What about you?"

Suddenly they hear the explosion...

Rei: "MARS POWER! MAKE..."

Erin transforms into Blaze turns the glass molten. Sarah grabs Schrodinger and uses him as a meat shield to protect the other students.

Erin: "I just change."

Rei:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 7:20 pm

Edwards is watching his laundry go through the washer in the faculty launcry room when Kyle walks in.
Kyle: "Say, hey, did you hear about the Samsung washing machine recall? Seems they tend to ex#@BLAM@#...oh, I see you found out."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 7:42 pm

taalismn wrote:Edwards is watching his laundry go through the washer in the faculty launcry room when Kyle walks in.
Kyle: "Say, hey, did you hear about the Samsung washing machine recall? Seems they tend to ex#@BLAM@#...oh, I see you found out."

Random MCHS Student #1: "What was that?! Sounded like it came from the laundry room!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "We have a laundry room?!'
Random MCHS Student #1: "We used to..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 8:32 pm

Samsung Exec: "Damnit, we're supposed to keep our secret military technologies division SEPARATE from our commercial products distribution network!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:09 pm

taalismn wrote:Samsung Exec: "Damnit, we're supposed to keep our secret military technologies division SEPARATE from our commercial products distribution network!"

Lisa: "Here, I got you this Sybian as a conciliation for not being able to get a man." :twisted:

Minmei: "Wow! I didn't know Samsung made these!" :love:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:12 pm

(Down Below...)

Charon: :shock:

"Oh, Dear God...I'd probably go to He --, Oh, wait...I'm already there, so...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Minmei:

"It's not funny!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Nov 04, 2016 10:52 pm

"Great...now they're confiscating our cellphones at school as deadly weapons."
"Better than at home. The GMP raided our utility room, claiming they had evidence we were acquiring bomb-building materials."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Nov 07, 2016 8:44 pm

Kyle enters the faculty lounge just in time to see Edwards reaching into the fridge-
and see a giant translucent purple ogre in chainmail emerge from the refrigerator and beat the snot out of him with a mace, before pulling back into the icebox.
Kyle: "Told you not to touch the pomegranate juice, Edwards...."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Nov 07, 2016 11:17 pm

Foods Not to Improve With The Flower of Life:

Pomegranate Juice