Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jan 12, 2017 6:42 pm

Reye Coronal Firestormer: (Speaking to the assembled EShemarians and Bondsmaids) "Rememder! They are to know fear! They are to know Pain! then they are to be atomized!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 12, 2017 7:28 pm

SRoss wrote:Reye Coronal Firestormer: (Speaking to the assembled EShemarians and Bondsmaids) "Rememder! They are to know fear! They are to know Pain! then they are to be atomized!"

*Sigh* "I'll get out the Shatner recital tapes."
"She said atomized, not lobotomized."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Thu Jan 12, 2017 10:32 pm

Hmmm,weve done alot of Edwards and Lynn Kyle bashing perhaps we should target some of the others.I mean like (points at Regent who was trying to tiptoe out the room)him or how bout Leonard.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:07 am

The Regess: "I am an accepted educational instructor at this facility! Unlike the others, I am loved here! (cracks whip menacingly...) MOVE, worms!"
The Regent: :frazz:

"I'm glad she isn't like that at home..."
The Regess: "I'll deal with you later, you walking slug!"
The Regent: :shock:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:42 am

Arnie100 wrote:The Regess: "I am an accepted educational instructor at this facility! Unlike the others, I am loved here! (cracks whip menacingly...) MOVE, worms!"
The Regent: "I'm glad she isn't like that at home..."
The Regess: "I'll deal with you later, you walking slug!"
The Regent:

New on Netflix ... 50 Shades of Green.

Ariel: "Suddenly, I'm not so sure I want to be telepathically linked to the hive." :shock:

Sera:

"I know what you mean sister..." :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:07 pm

SRoss wrote:[

New on Netflix ... 50 Shades of Green.:

This...used as a sexual abstinence sex-ed video.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:15 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

New on Netflix ... 50 Shades of Green.:

This...used as a sexual abstinence sex-ed video.

(Sex-Ed 101...)

"Now class...let's see what Invid mating looks like..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:23 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

New on Netflix ... 50 Shades of Green.:

This...used as a sexual abstinence sex-ed video.

(Sex-Ed 101...)

"Now class...let's see what Invid mating looks like..."

Sister of Clea err Repentia: :shock:

"Suddenly those vows of abstinence don't seem that bad anymore..." :shock:

Shinji: :eek:

"Wait! All you girls want to do THAT to me!?!" :eek:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:59 pm

(What happens in the Girl's Locker-room, stays in the Girl's Locker-room...)

Shinji: :frazz:

(Tries desperately to crawl out the door...)"HELP ME!" (Gets dragged back inside...)
Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"NOPE. Not gonna happen!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I want to keep certain parts of my anatomy intact!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:18 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(What happens in the Girl's Locker-room, stays in the Girl's Locker-room...)

Shinji: (Tries desperately to crawl out the door...)"HELP ME!" (Gets dragged back inside...)
Random MCHS Student #1: "NOPE. Not gonna happen!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I want to keep certain parts of my anatomy intact!"

"Shouldn't we like...help him out?"
"You got a dozen Colonial Marines to go with you into there? 'Cause you go in there after him, you're going to end up like the original poor bastards...minus the chestbursters..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Jan 14, 2017 12:55 am

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:(What happens in the Girl's Locker-room, stays in the Girl's Locker-room...)

Shinji: (Tries desperately to crawl out the door...)"HELP ME!" (Gets dragged back inside...)
Random MCHS Student #1: "NOPE. Not gonna happen!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I want to keep certain parts of my anatomy intact!"

"Shouldn't we like...help him out?"
"You got a dozen Colonial Marines to go with you into there? 'Cause you go in there after him, you're going to end up like the original poor bastards...minus the chestbursters..."

(Briefing Room, GMP Headquarters...)

GMP Seargent: "Alright, troopers! We have reports of a possible kidnapping incident in the Girl's Locker-room of MCHS#69! Any volunteers for the rescue mission? (Troopers suddenly disappear out of the door...) :shock:

I guess not..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Jan 14, 2017 11:41 am

Shinji: (Pleading to one of the Sisters of Clea err Repentia) "But, but, you're supposed to be the school's Public Morals Committee!" :frazz:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Jan 14, 2017 3:32 pm

SRoss wrote:Shinji: (Pleading to one of the Sisters of Clea err Repentia) "But, but, you're supposed to be the school's Public Morals Committee!"

Sister of Clea err Repentia: :shock:

"You just said a NAUGHTY word!" (Cracks whip...)
Shinji: "Morals is a naughty word?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 14, 2017 8:50 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:Shinji: (Pleading to one of the Sisters of Clea err Repentia) "But, but, you're supposed to be the school's Public Morals Committee!"

Sister of Clea err Repentia: "You just said a NAUGHTY word!" (Cracks whip...)
Shinji: "Morals is a naughty word?!"

It is to a group that's historically been frustrated by EXACTLY that same word....

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:39 am

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:Shinji: (Pleading to one of the Sisters of Clea err Repentia) "But, but, you're supposed to be the school's Public Morals Committee!"

Sister of Clea err Repentia: "You just said a NAUGHTY word!" (Cracks whip...)
Shinji: "Morals is a naughty word?!"

It is to a group that's historically been frustrated by EXACTLY that same word....

(Meanwhile in the Special Defense Force brieffing room))
Major :"That about it.special equipment will be given if requested.Any questions?"
General Intagra Hellsing:"Then go to your staging area."
Anna Puma:"Hope the Shatner/Barney decoys work."
Pidge:"They'll work designed it myself,with a little help from Ed."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:55 pm

Tanya: "Alright Maggots! Welcome to Hell! This class is air combat operations and I'm your instructor." :twisted:

Dana: "She's our teacher? she's younger then Aurora!"

Tanya: "My job is to weed out the weak. I'm not expecting much from you, but try not to drive me to despair!"

Hotaru: "She's trying to scare us, with that voice?"

Annie: "Watch this..." :twisted:

DRAGON FORM!!!

FEAR ATTACK!!!

Tanya: :demon:

Outside...

"Hey what set off the Bio-hazard alarm!?!"

"Annie went full dragon and the class let go their bowels."

"That usually isn't enough to set off the alarm..."

"Tanya looked Annie in the eye and well... Ever see a dragon let go her bowels?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 15, 2017 10:29 pm

"...funny, I thought it was only sea cucumbers that could turn themselves inside out...."
"Never been n the receiving end of one of Miss Tanya's glares, I take it?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 16, 2017 3:27 am

"Well, it looks like we're gonna have to re-build that wing of the school...again." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:30 am

Arnie100 wrote:"Well, it looks like we're gonna have to re-build that wing of the school...again."

"That's what shop students are for...hey, rebuilding in the wake of a a major catastrophe is a relevant and major life lesson in a post-Rain of Death education system, right?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 16, 2017 4:04 pm

Edwards: "They're looking at us again, Kyle (Sees Kyle already running far ahead of him) --YOU COWARD! WAIT FOR ME!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 16, 2017 9:50 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Edwards: "They're looking at us again, Kyle (Sees Kyle already running far ahead of him) --YOU COWARD! WAIT FOR ME!"

"DON'T RUN ACROSS THAT WET CONCR0(...blurb...)...never mind....idiots..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:18 pm

The bathroom wall explodes outward, sending Karno flying into the wet concrete.

Tanya: (Holding a rifle) :mad:

"YOU CALL THAT CLEAN!!! I am going to blast open that brainless head of yours and CARVE THE RULES OF HYGIENE ON THE INSIDE OF YOUR SKULL!!!" :mad:

Musica: "I don't care what the rest of you think, I like her."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:44 pm

"We got a new transfer student coming in today, boss!" :-D

"Indeed? That's news to me! Where's the student coming from?" :-?

"Ah, somewhere in Germany, I think...pig-something-or-other, swine...ah Schweinfort?" :-D

"Lemme see that...'Hogwarts'?" :roll:

"Oh, yeah, that's it....anyways, it sounds like a disciplinary case...real hardass, if they're sending him all the way here to be educated. Even has a name like a ganger...lizard badboy of something."
"Again, let me see that.....'Draco Malfoy'. Okay, when is he supposed to arrive?" :roll:

"About ten o'clock....ah,...that was...." :shock:

"Twenty minutes ago. Okay, better hope he's fashionably late, because if he wasn't, and showed up with nobody from this office to take him in hand, we'll be lucky to find any identifiable remains..."

Yeah, Draco's daddy thinks sending his kid overseas to study at a place rumored for its toughness and evil will harden the little twat.....

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 12:27 am

Draco: "WAIT UNTIL MY FA -- (Finds the barrels of several large-caliber handguns pointed at him...) -- never mind..."
Random MCHS Girl #1: "Little toe rag."
Random MCHS Girl #2: "Looks like another one with 'daddy' issues." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:13 pm

"Goyle! Grab my books and let's get out of here! Goyle? Goyle? CRABBE?! GOYLE!!!???"
"Get the impression the magic community never watched the movie 'Aliens'? Good cautionary lessons there."

Provided Draco survives introduction to class, I imagine the next worst thing he can do is slander Dana Sterling's mixed ancestry....
"You're not even fully human!"
(immediate sound of desks being shuffle-dragged away)

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:46 pm

Draco: "When the Dark Lord hears about -- AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!"
Random MCHS Student #1: "That new kid still hasn't figured it out?"
Random MCHS Student #2: "What? The girls here hate whiners?"
Random MCHS Student #1: "Well, that and you never get them mad at you."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:59 pm

"OUR Defense Against the Dark Arts course involves alpha-striking the other guy. Preferably starting with fusion, reflex, kinetic, and syncro ordnance."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:42 am

taalismn wrote:"OUR Defense Against the Dark Arts course involves alpha-striking the other guy. Preferably starting with fusion, reflex, kinetic, and syncro ordnance."

Random MCHS Student #1: "Our DADA class also tends to use a lot of 'forced volunteers' as practice dummies."
Arnie100: "Mr. Malfoy? Kindly step up to the front of the class, please."
Draco: (Sneering...) "That's a strange name for a Professor..."
Arnie100: "No talking, please. Miss Sarah, please demonstrate to the class how to deal with a zombie using blunt weapons. You may take as long as you like."
Random MCHS Student #2: "It's also a bad sign when one of our Professors is being too polite."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 1:06 am

Arnie100: "Ok, Tanya, please demonstrate on Mr. Malfoy how you deal with a hostile mage."

Tanya: (Aiming rifle) "Oh Lord, grant us the power to destroy the faithless enemies of the Fatherland."

Cut to: Exterior of the school.

A massive explosion blows out all the windows. They are immediately sucked back in.

Later in detention, Tanya is writing on the blackboard.

"I will not detonate the magical equivalent to a MOAB in class."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:56 pm

(Meanwhile in the infirmary...)

Waashu: "What's this? A new vic -- patient? MMMUUUAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHHAAA!!" :twisted:

Draco:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 5:14 pm

Draco: "Must...send...message...to...father.....get...help...out...of...here...."
MCHS#69 Student: "I know I should feel bad about eating such a normally noble bird...but owl tastes pretty good."
Student #2: "Except for the paper."(spits)

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:39 pm

(Meanwhile...Lucius Malfoy has entered the DADA class, mistaking it for the Principal's office...)

Lucius: "I demand to know why my son is being treated so badly in this dump of a school!"
Arnie100: :twisted:

"Okay; class, please show our visitor how we welcome pompous a**holes. You are free to use any method you like."
Lucius: :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 8:10 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(Meanwhile...Lucius Malfoy has entered the DADA class, mistaking it for the Principal's office...)

Lucius: "I demand to know why my son is being treated so badly in this dump of a school!"
Arnie100: "Okay; class, please show our visitor how we welcome pompous a**holes. You are free to use any method you like."
Lucius:

"I didn't think a rolling artillery barrage was applicable to magic spells."
"I think more like 'tsunami of fire'."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 8:30 pm

Meanwhile in the Staff Room...

Taalismn: "Let me get this strait, thanks to the incoming government, our school's funding is in the hands of a woman who says Public schools are a dead end." :badbad:

Alpha11: "Yep." :nh:

SRoss: (Grabbing the PA) "OK STUDENTS! WE'RE GOING ON A FIELD TRIP TO THE CAPITAL!" :twisted:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:35 pm

"Hello, we'd like to testify on behalf of the new nominee. We're from MCHS#69, a corporate- privately-funded educational facility training good citizens of the future. We're here to show what wonderful well-balanced people we are as a result of our experiences....quit playing with the butterfly knife, Howie...."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 20, 2017 12:18 am

taalismn wrote:"Hello, we'd like to testify on behalf of the new nominee. We're from MCHS#69, a corporate- privately-funded educational facility training good citizens of the future. We're here to show what wonderful well-balanced people we are as a result of our experiences....quit playing with the butterfly knife, Howie...."

(Cut to front of school where Lucius and Draco are being chased by heavily-armed and angry female students...)

Lucius: "What did you do to them, Draco?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 20, 2017 8:11 pm

Arnie100 wrote:[

(Cut to front of school where Lucius and Draco are being chased by heavily-armed and angry female students...)

Lucius: "What did you do to them, Draco?!"

"We like to skip the initial action and skip right to the retaliatory reaction. It's more fun that way, saves, time, and isn't as hard on us."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:34 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:[

(Cut to front of school where Lucius and Draco are being chased by heavily-armed and angry female students...)

Lucius: "What did you do to them, Draco?!"

"We like to skip the initial action and skip right to the retaliatory reaction. It's more fun that way, saves, time, and isn't as hard on us."

"It's also more entertaining, don't you agree? "
Lucius and Draco: :frazz:

"NO!" (Still on the run...)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:41 pm

"Kinda brings a new irony to the name 'death eater', don't you think?"
"...I don't get it...."
"EAT DEATH!"
"...oh..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:02 pm

Bellatrix: "Is ickle Lucy and Drakey afraid of a bunch of school children?"

(Lucius and Draco point at the horde of rampaging school children...)

Bellatrix: :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 9:36 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Bellatrix: "Is ickle Lucy and Drakey afraid of a bunch of school children?"

(Lucius and Draco point at the horde of rampaging school children...)

Bellatrix:

"And you thought quidditch thugs were bad...."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:20 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Bellatrix: "Is ickle Lucy and Drakey afraid of a bunch of school children?"

(Lucius and Draco point at the horde of rampaging school children...)

Bellatrix:

"And you thought quidditch thugs were bad...."

"Yes, but how many schools play quidditch with fully armed veritechs?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:29 pm

SRoss wrote:[

"Yes, but how many schools play quidditch with fully armed veritechs?"

"Only it's more like buzkashi with veritechs. Occasionally, Karno's the sheepskin."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Jan 22, 2017 6:07 am

Wait where is Mioshi during this.
Please tell me she's not in the prototype weapons vault.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 22, 2017 9:22 pm

batlchip wrote:Wait where is Mioshi during this.
Please tell me she's not in the prototype weapons vault.

Playing with the school's fuse box.....(lights flicker)
"Ah, you DO have the science lab's reactor control and coolant system on an independent power source and circuit, don't you?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Jan 22, 2017 11:29 pm

taalismn wrote:
batlchip wrote:Wait where is Mioshi during this.
Please tell me she's not in the prototype weapons vault.

Playing with the school's fuse box.....(lights flicker)
"Ah, you DO have the science lab's reactor control and coolant system on an independent power source and circuit, don't you?"

Tim Taylor: "Wuh?"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Mon Jan 23, 2017 1:49 am

taalismn wrote:
batlchip wrote:Wait where is Mioshi during this.
Please tell me she's not in the prototype weapons vault.

Playing with the school's fuse box.....(lights flicker)
"Ah, you DO have the science lab's reactor control and coolant system on an independent power source and circuit, don't you?"

Washu"Not to worry everything is fine I but in triple independent lines for both. Got four times the amount of safety systems and backups.no way is she gonna cause a pro-(Alarms start blaring) how did she .....?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:02 am

batlchip wrote:[

Washu"Not to worry everything is fine I but in triple independent lines for both. Got four times the amount of safety systems and backups.no way is she gonna cause a pro-(Alarms start blaring) how did she .....?"

You'd have thought she'd have learned by now....

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 23, 2017 12:45 pm

BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

:shock:

"Maybe not..."
Mihoshi: :shock:

"Did I do that?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 23, 2017 1:36 pm

"Well, even Greatest Geniuses of the Universe have off-days..."