Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:01 pm

SRoss: "The Containment Grid for the DADA class wasn't on that circuit, was it? Arnie? Arnie? COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!!!" :badbad:

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 10:18 pm

SRoss wrote:SRoss: "The Containment Grid for the DADA class wasn't on that circuit, was it? Arnie? Arnie? COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!!!"

Ummm....not a coward but I er......heh I'm gonna get my M.AC ll (might need that personal pin point barrier)and sit in it with my VR 41 armor. Just in case.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 24, 2017 11:26 pm

SRoss wrote:SRoss: "The Containment Grid for the DADA class wasn't on that circuit, was it? Arnie? Arnie? COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!!!"

"Here, MIster Malfoy...stick your finger in this hole...stand there until we tell you otherwise..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:16 am

batlchip wrote:
SRoss wrote:SRoss: "The Containment Grid for the DADA class wasn't on that circuit, was it? Arnie? Arnie? COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD!!!"

Ummm....not a coward but I er......heh I'm gonna get my M.AC ll (might need that personal pin point barrier)and sit in it with my VR 41 armor. Just in case.

Mihoshi: (Inside the M.A.C. II cockpit) "What's this button do?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:31 am

Random MCHS Student #1: "Who's in the M.A.C. II?!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "Oh, no..." :frazz:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:17 pm

"Hole in the space/time fabric at MCHS#69."
"...again?!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:07 pm

Mihoshi:

"Did I --"
Everyone: "Yes, you did." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:48 pm

"Can we just patch it this time, or are we going to have to reset the entire universe again?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:04 am

"Is that even possible or are we just seriously screwed?"
"Ever the optimist."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 12:19 pm

Washuu & GlaDOS: "TEST SUBJECTS!" :twisted:

Escaped Demons & Spirits: :eek:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:05 pm

"Can't we just enact 'Wildfire' protocols on the damned place?"
"No! It's not like Ice Guard! People would take notice if a zoned school was nuked! Questions would be asked! No, only as an absolute last resort can we initiate cauterization!"
"What constitutes 'absolute last resort' situation?"
"If they send my kid home."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 2:53 pm

SRoss wrote:Washuu & GlaDOS: "TEST SUBJECTS!"

Escaped Demons & Spirits:

Escaped Demons and Spirits: (Begging Arnie100...) "Send us back! We'll do anything!!"
Arnie100: :twisted:

"Anything?"
Escaped Demons and Spirits: :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Jan 27, 2017 9:05 pm

"So, how was your CPR course?"
"I failed."
"You FAILED?! How did you manage to do that?"
"Snapped my mannequin's neck."
"Ho-"
"It was Karno. He was playing dead to avoid some bizarre Tirolian courtship ritual."
"That's absurd! And cruel!"
"Yeah, the instructor said I failed the CPR test, but my hand to hand instructor gave me an 'A', as did my literature professor."
"What does the latter have to do with it?"
"She appreciated my role in irony."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 12:08 am

taalismn wrote:"So, how was your CPR course?"
"I failed."
"You FAILED?! How did you manage to do that?"
"Snapped my mannequin's neck."
"Ho-"
"It was Karno. He was playing dead to avoid some bizarre Tirolian courtship ritual."
"That's absurd! And cruel!"
"Yeah, the instructor said I failed the CPR test, but my hand to hand instructor gave me an 'A', as did my literature professor."
"What does the latter have to do with it?"
"She appreciated my role in irony."

Lynn Kyle (whispering to Karno ):"We'll always have Paris."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 8:36 pm

batlchip wrote:
taalismn wrote:"So, how was your CPR course?"
"I failed."
"You FAILED?! How did you manage to do that?"
"Snapped my mannequin's neck."
"Ho-"
"It was Karno. He was playing dead to avoid some bizarre Tirolian courtship ritual."
"That's absurd! And cruel!"
"Yeah, the instructor said I failed the CPR test, but my hand to hand instructor gave me an 'A', as did my literature professor."
"What does the latter have to do with it?"
"She appreciated my role in irony."

Lynn Kyle (whispering to Karno ):"We'll always have Paris."

Karno: "Wasn't Paris obliterated during The Rain of Death?"
Lynn Kyle: "Oh, right..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Jan 28, 2017 9:06 pm

"He MEANT Paris HILTON."
"No I didn't. Not even I'm that desperate OR depraved..."
"..and that's saying a lot."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Jan 29, 2017 12:35 am

taalismn wrote:"He MEANT Paris HILTON."
"No I didn't. Not even I'm that desperate OR depraved..."
"..and that's saying a lot."

"I wouldn't even touch Miley Cyrus or Madonna..."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Jan 29, 2017 6:36 am

Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"He MEANT Paris HILTON."
"No I didn't. Not even I'm that desperate OR depraved..."
"..and that's saying a lot."

"I wouldn't even touch Miley Cyrus or Madonna..."

Karno:"By the way what ever happened to Nikki what's her name.
Lynn Kyle :"She got married to an alternate Dolza.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Jan 29, 2017 9:58 pm

"Qucik, Karmo, I hear them coming! Play dead!"
"Uh-"
THUD!
"...ah, an unresponsive body. Doesn't respond to prompts, doesn't appear to be breathing! What d you do?"
"Chest compressions! 110 a minute!"
THUMP*THUMP*THUMP*#CRUNCH#UGGHHH!!!!THUMP*THUMP#CRACK#THUMP*THUMP#SNAP!
"ADFs here!"
-PLEASE APPLY PADS-SCANNING-ABNORMAL HEARTBEAT DETECTED-SHOCK RECOMMENDED-CHARGING-STAY CLEAR-
"FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!"
<<<FORTY THOUSAND VOLTS OF RAW NAKED POWER>>>
-------------sizzle-----------

"Okay, somebody want to tell me what Miss Sterling did wrong here?"
"She didn't immediately call for help."
"Her chest compressions were all the way to the spine."
"The automatic defibrilator was set too high."
"It's 'Clear!', not 'fire in the hole'."
"Good! What did she do right?"
"Good compression rate."
"She eliminated an obvious enemy agent with efficiency."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:19 pm

THINGS WE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE ENHANCED WITH PROTOCULTURE

AEDs - nuff said...

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:30 pm

"We have a guest instructor for Cooking class today"

Celsia: "Good morning children. Today I will teach you how to prepare Long Pork, so you can all grow up and be strong children ... Except the weaker ones, who will likely be consumed by the others ..." :mrgreen:

Edwards: (Tied to the table, with an apple in his mouth) :eek:

"MMMMMM! MMMMM! MMMM!!!" :eek:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:19 am

Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"Vegan diet sounds like a good idea..."
Random MCHS Student #2: "And they said this school was safe..." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 12:19 am

SRoss wrote:
THINGS WE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE ENHANCED WITH PROTOCULTURE

AEDs - nuff said...

"Using the leaf blower as am emergency respiration device wasn't too bright either."
"...on the bright side, if we plug his nose and mouth fast enough, we can use Karno as a pretty decent swimming pool float."
"In OUR school swimming pool? The chlorine content's high enough to dissolve plastic."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 4:57 pm

SRoss wrote:
THINGS WE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE ENHANCED WITH PROTOCULTURE

Power Tools

Tim Taylor: :twisted:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 8:25 pm

SRoss wrote:
THINGS WE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE ENHANCED WITH PROTOCULTURE

AEDs - nuff said...

Roomba: <"See? I told you reprogramming the meatbag medical device would yield spectacular results.">
AED: <"LET ME SHOCK HIM AGAIN! HE'S STILL TWITCHING!">

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:22 pm

Random MCHS Student #1: "Need to see the Nurse?!"
Random MCHS Student #2: :frazz:

"Oh; heck, no!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 10:37 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "Need to see the Nurse?!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "Oh; heck, no!"

School Nurse: "I happen to be a practical instructor in historical medicine."
Random MCHS Student: "Trepanning with obsidian blades, hacksaw amputations without anesthesia.."
School Nurse: "The patients survived the trepanning, obsidian is sharper than surgical steel, and in the field, you do what you must with what you have."
Random MCHS Student #2:"Dude, she got her internship immediately after the Rain of Death. Tossed in the deep end, so to speak."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:29 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:
THINGS WE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE ENHANCED WITH PROTOCULTURE

AEDs - nuff said...

Roomba: <"See? I told you reprogramming the meatbag medical device would yield spectacular results.">
AED: <"LET ME SHOCK HIM AGAIN! HE'S STILL TWITCHING!">

"Do you smell burning ham?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Jan 30, 2017 11:32 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "Need to see the Nurse?!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "Oh; heck, no!"

School Nurse: "I happen to be a practical instructor in historical medicine."
Random MCHS Student: "Trepanning with obsidian blades, hacksaw amputations without anesthesia.."
School Nurse: "The patients survived the trepanning, obsidian is sharper than surgical steel, and in the field, you do what you must with what you have."
Random MCHS Student #2:"Dude, she got her internship immediately after the Rain of Death. Tossed in the deep end, so to speak."

Jill: (Rolling up her sleave) "I'm ready to start your physical now."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 31, 2017 10:06 am

SRoss wrote:[

Jill: (Rolling up her sleave) "I'm ready to start your physical now."

(POV shot through the door of the nurse's office of Jill, most of her arm hidden from the POV by the door jamb, being flailed up and down and slammed into the floor repeatedly as she's screaming)
Nurse:(from off-camera)

"Have you been prescribed anything for those enflamed hemorrhoids?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:46 am

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

Jill: (Rolling up her sleave) "I'm ready to start your physical now."

(POV shot through the door of the nurse's office of Jill, most of her arm hidden from the POV by the door jamb, being flailed up and down and slammed into the floor repeatedly as she's screaming)
Nurse:(from off-camera) "Have you been prescribed anything for those enflamed hemorrhoids?"

Washuu: :twisted:

"I'll take over now nurse." :twisted:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Jan 31, 2017 4:21 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

Jill: (Rolling up her sleave) "I'm ready to start your physical now."

(POV shot through the door of the nurse's office of Jill, most of her arm hidden from the POV by the door jamb, being flailed up and down and slammed into the floor repeatedly as she's screaming)
Nurse:(from off-camera) "Have you been prescribed anything for those enflamed hemorrhoids?"

Washuu: "I'll take over now nurse."

House: "Aren't you a little young to be playing 'Doctor'?"

School Intercom: "Nurse's Office Paging Doctor Darwin. Doctor Darwin to the Nurse's Office!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Jan 31, 2017 11:53 pm

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MCH #69 AND OTHER SCHOOLS

Other schools cater their summer BBQs and bonfires, MCH #69 just invites the Blood Riders...

"No, no, it's just a little party not an inferno. No need to call the CDU."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:08 am

SRoss wrote:
DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MCH #69 AND OTHER SCHOOLS

Other schools cater their summer BBQs and bonfires, MCH #69 just invites the Blood Riders...

"No, no, it's just a little party not an inferno. No need to call the CDU."

"The smell of broiling picnic meat and third degree burns should be easier to tell apart."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:39 am

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

Jill: (Rolling up her sleave) "I'm ready to start your physical now."

(POV shot through the door of the nurse's office of Jill, most of her arm hidden from the POV by the door jamb, being flailed up and down and slammed into the floor repeatedly as she's screaming)
Nurse:(from off-camera) "Have you been prescribed anything for those enflamed hemorrhoids?"

Washuu: "I'll take over now nurse."

Kagato :'I heard about the last time you played nurse.The boy was out for a week."
Washu :" That wasn't all me though (glares at Mihoshi )"
Mihoshi :"But you told me to play with the jo--"
Lisa:"WHOA WHOA! Family friendly remember."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:49 am

"WWWWHHHOOOOOOaaaaaaa, Nurse!!!!!"
"At least we now know where Dana Sterling got that nurse's outfit she wore going after Zor...."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Feb 01, 2017 6:21 pm

Dana: "The things I had to do to get this outfit and it still doesn't fit..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Feb 01, 2017 7:46 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Dana: "The things I had to do to get this outfit and it still doesn't fit..."

Aurora: "Perhaps if your "Field Maneuvers" didn't keep ending at the Tim Hortons[sup]tm[/sup] drive thru?

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Feb 01, 2017 8:09 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Dana: "The things I had to do to get this outfit and it still doesn't fit..."

Aurora: "Perhaps if your "Field Maneuvers" didn't keep ending at the Tim Hortons[sup]tm[/sup] drive thru?

Dana: "At least I'm an actual person in this universe!"
Aurora: "Touche..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 01, 2017 8:51 pm

"Dana's talking to herself again."
"Oh yeah, she's DEFINITELY officer material..." :roll:

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Thu Feb 02, 2017 12:30 am

Nova:"It could be worse she could be like him (points at Leonard."
Dana:"Good point."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Feb 02, 2017 12:36 am

batlchip wrote:Nova:"It could be worse she could be like him (points at Leonard."
Dana:"Good point."

Leonard: "First of all, I don't know why the hell I was scheduled for visiting a school to give a promotional talk to a bunch of high schoolers-"
Principal: "Because your secretary hates you?"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 10:16 am

Corg:"How come Leonard isn't getting the multiple deaths?"
Nova:"That's a good question."
Dana:"we'll let the fourth wall gang handle it"
Nova:"agreed"(.looks down at Lynn Kyle )"It puts the lotion on itd skin or it gets the hose again"
Lynn Kyle :"okay okay anything but that hose full of taco bell sauce."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 11:53 am

Cut to Leonard running on a treadmill...

Jill: "I didn't know visitors had to have physicals too."

Washuu: "This isn't a physical. I just thought he needed the exercise."

Jill: "All that fat jiggling ... it's kinda hypnotic..." :shock:

Washuu: "Yes ... it is..." :shock:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:07 pm

"Well, at least he can still see his FEET."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Feb 08, 2017 1:52 am

"Shinji, Why have you welded yourself in the washroom?"

Shinji: :frazz:

"Valentine's Day is coming! Remember last time!!!" :frazz:

"Sigh... I'll alert the clone banks..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:55 am

SRoss wrote:"Shinji, Why have you welded yourself in the washroom?"

Shinji: "Valentine's Day is coming! Remember last time!!!"

"Sigh... I'll alert the clone banks..."

"Good idea. Decoys."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 1:49 am

Tenchi:

"I'm gonna call in sick...'
Ryohko: "You're not gonna get away that easily!" :twisted:

Ayeka: "Indeed." :twisted:

Tenchi:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:17 am

Meanwhile in the Quarantine Section of the Nurses Office...

Magruder: (Feverus and sweating, struggles to get out of bed) "Must <Caugh> attend school <Wheeze> for Valentines Day! <Groan> Must become <Hack> a man!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:12 pm

Girls of MCHS #69: "Who's Magruder?"
Magruder: :shock: