Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

guardiandashi · Sat Apr 01, 2017 1:10 pm

taalismn wrote:"Okay, let me make one thing clear; you do NOT get points in javelin for hitting your classmates."
"How about bystanders?"
"Okay, let me make ANOTHER thing clear-"

Sarah: "AHH and I thought we were going to play 'Catch' "

(I can't find it now but there was an old Garfield image with him holding a Javelin with the caption "Lets play Catch" )

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Apr 01, 2017 7:36 pm

guardiandashi wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Okay, let me make one thing clear; you do NOT get points in javelin for hitting your classmates."
"How about bystanders?"
"Okay, let me make ANOTHER thing clear-"

Sarah: "AHH and I thought we were going to play 'Catch' "

(I can't find it now but there was an old Garfield image with him holding a Javelin with the caption "Lets play Catch" )

Old Benny Hill short gag where the javelin sticks in an official, and as the impaled man is staggering back and forth, the other officials are having diffulties reeling the measuring tape back and forth to record where it fell(until he collapses).

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Apr 01, 2017 7:48 pm

taalismn wrote:
guardiandashi wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Okay, let me make one thing clear; you do NOT get points in javelin for hitting your classmates."
"How about bystanders?"
"Okay, let me make ANOTHER thing clear-"

Sarah: "AHH and I thought we were going to play 'Catch' "

(I can't find it now but there was an old Garfield image with him holding a Javelin with the caption "Lets play Catch" )

Old Benny Hill short gag where the javelin sticks in an official, and as the impaled man is staggering back and forth, the other officials are having difficulties reeling the measuring tape back and forth to record where it fell(until he collapses).

"ALRIGHT! Throw your javelins ... AT THE TARGET THIS TIME!"

Edwards suddenly feels something stuck to his back.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Apr 02, 2017 2:04 am

(Down Below...)

Charon: (Seeing all the javelins...) :shock:

Edwards: "Yeah, whatever..." :nh:

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:21 am

Coach Misato:"Elsa!We do not throw ice balls at Bell during dodge ball."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 7:56 pm

batlchip wrote:Coach Misato:"Elsa!We do not throw ice balls at Bell during dodge ball."

"We don't play dodgeball by the minefield either."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:36 pm

taalismn wrote:
batlchip wrote:Coach Misato: "Elsa! We do not throw ice balls at Bell during dodge ball."

"We don't play dodge-ball by the minefield either."

"Minmei! No throwing Nausicaan spiked balls at the Disney Princesses!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:53 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
batlchip wrote:Coach Misato: "Elsa! We do not throw ice balls at Bell during dodge ball."

"We don't play dodge-ball by the minefield either."

"Minmei! No throwing Nausicaan spiked balls at the Disney Princesses!"

"Hey! They got lightsabers!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:14 pm

"You know, if that technology ever got distributed to the Southern Cross UEDF, we wouldn't ever have to worry about future alien invasions."
"It's not as if anybody bothers checking this school, so it's NEVER going to get out."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:49 pm

taalismn wrote:"You know, if that technology ever got distributed to the Southern Cross UEDF, we wouldn't ever have to worry about future alien invasions."
"It's not as if anybody bothers checking this school, so it's NEVER going to get out."

Cut to... Years later...

Karno: "Foolish Micronians! They only sent a single boarder..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Apr 04, 2017 1:03 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:"You know, if that technology ever got distributed to the Southern Cross UEDF, we wouldn't ever have to worry about future alien invasions."
"It's not as if anybody bothers checking this school, so it's NEVER going to get out."

Cut to... Years later...

Karno: "Foolish Micronians! They only sent a single boarder..."

(Down Below...)

Charon: "You and your big mouth..."
Karno: "Yup..." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Apr 05, 2017 8:15 pm

Charon: "You're missing a few slices."
Karno: "So that's why I can't feel my ghostly spleen."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:15 am

Coach Misato:"okay class today your going to run two laps!"
Akane:"What if we don't want to do the laps?"
Misato:"oh,you'll run them.because your going to be chased by Gendo IKari and Happosai."
Akane :shock:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Apr 06, 2017 11:29 am

batlchip wrote:Coach Misato: "Okay class today your going to run two laps!"
Akane: "What if we don't want to do the laps?"
Misato: "Oh,you'll run them, because your going to be chased by Gendo IKari and Happosai."
Akane:

Sarah: "And if that doesn't work?"

Coach Misato: :demon:

"Release the Robotic Richard Simmons!" :demon:

MCH #69 Students: :eek:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:09 pm

SRoss wrote:
batlchip wrote:Coach Misato: "Okay class today your going to run two laps!"
Akane: "What if we don't want to do the laps?"
Misato: "Oh,you'll run them, because your going to be chased by Gendo IKari and Happosai."
Akane:

Sarah: "And if that doesn't work?"

Coach Misato: "Release the Robotic Richard Simmons!"

MCH #69 Students:

Edwards: "Maybe we could get Minmei as a Yoga instructor...have you seen some of the positions they can get into?"
Edwards and Kyle: :love:

(Down Below...)

Charon: "What now?!"
Edwards: "I don't know...I don't remember doing anything!"
Kyle: :nh:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Apr 06, 2017 1:07 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
batlchip wrote:Coach Misato: "Okay class today your going to run two laps!"
Akane: "What if we don't want to do the laps?"
Misato: "Oh,you'll run them, because your going to be chased by Gendo IKari and Happosai."
Akane:

Sarah: "And if that doesn't work?"

Coach Misato: "Release the Robotic Richard Simmons!"

MCH #69 Students:

Edwards: "Maybe we could get Minmei as a Yoga instructor...have you seen some of the positions they can get into?"
Edwards and Kyle:

(Down Below...)

Charon: "What now?!"
Edwards: "I don't know...I don't remember doing anything!"
Kyle:

Lisa: (Shrug) "What can I say Minmei? Their implant bombs are hormone triggered..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Apr 06, 2017 1:15 pm

SRoss wrote:[

Sarah: "And if that doesn't work?"

Coach Misato: "Release the Robotic Richard Simmons!"

MCH #69 Students:

At last we know what happened to him.

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sat Apr 08, 2017 12:19 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

Sarah: "And if that doesn't work?"

Coach Misato: "Release the Robotic Richard Simmons!"

MCH #69 Students:

At last we know what happened to him.

Claudia:"By the way; has anyone seen Bulma?
Bulma:"Where am i?"
Shadow :"Your not my Yuki."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:21 pm

Really someone says "yuki" and it's game over?

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 7:34 pm

(A horde of students run out of the Infirmary...)

Waashu: "Come back here, you cowards! It's just pain reliever!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 8:06 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(A horde of students run out of the Infirmary...)

Waashu: "Come back here, you cowards! It's just pain reliever!"

"How is being a zombie any different from the usual state of high school seniors this time of year?!"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 9:03 pm

Arnie100 wrote:(A horde of students run out of the Infirmary...)

Waashu: "Come back here, you cowards! It's just pain reliever!"

Congrats ya made me snarf (make liquid come out of my nose). :lol:

Coach Misato ":alright I need some brave volunteer 's for a special experiment.any takers?."
Beaker :"mmm ni mi mi."
Rock Lee:"huh?"
Coach Misato :Rock Lee glad you volunteered. I need three more."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 10:47 pm

batlchip wrote:[

Congrats ya made me snarf (make liquid come out of my nose).
Coach Misato ":alright I need some brave volunteer 's for a special experiment.any takers?."
Beaker :"mmm ni mi mi."
Rock Lee:"huh?"
Coach Misato :Rock Lee glad you volunteered. I need three more."

"Ummm....I know it's Rock Lee. but 'burning fires of youth' doesn't ACTUALLY involve fire, you know."
"FLAMING YOUTH!!!! FIRES OF MASCULINITY!!! I CAN'T FEEL THEM!!!!"
"DROP AND ROLL! DROP AND ROLL!!!"
"NO, YOU FOOL! RUN AROUND AND DISSIPATE THE FLAME!!!!"
"'RED VS BLUE' WAS A -PARODY-, NOT A FACTUAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, YOU IDIOT!!!!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Apr 24, 2017 11:37 pm

Random MCHS Student #1: "I got a dislocated shoulder..."
Random MCHS Student #2: "So...go to the Infirmary."
Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"Oh, no WAY...I'll do it myself!" (Walks up to wall and slams his shoulder into it...)
Random MCHS Student #2: :shock:

Random MCHS Student #1: "Saw it on an ancient movie. Now I can do it whenever I want!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:47 am

Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "I got a dislocated shoulder..."
Random MCHS Student #2: "So...go to the Infirmary."
Random MCHS Student #1: "Oh, no WAY...I'll do it myself!" (Walks up to wall and slams his shoulder into it...)
Random MCHS Student #2:
Random MCHS Student #1: "Saw it on an ancient movie. Now I can do it whenever I want!"

Random MCHS Student #1 walks ten feet and collapses in pain...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 5:18 pm

"Fool! You're supposed to bite a bullet to stave off the pain!"
"Okay."
#BLAM#
"Not an EXPLOSIVE bullet, fool!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:11 pm

taalismn wrote:"Fool! You're supposed to bite a bullet to stave off the pain!"
"Okay."
#BLAM#
"Not an EXPLOSIVE bullet, fool!"

"It was the only way to relieve the pain from the pain reliever!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 7:33 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Fool! You're supposed to bite a bullet to stave off the pain!"
"Okay."
#BLAM#
"Not an EXPLOSIVE bullet, fool!"

"It was the only way to relieve the pain from the pain reliever!"

"*sigh* And Southern Cross directives to build up the available trained combatant pool keep us from locking up the live ammunition...."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 10:39 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Fool! You're supposed to bite a bullet to stave off the pain!"
"Okay."
#BLAM#
"Not an EXPLOSIVE bullet, fool!"

"It was the only way to relieve the pain from the pain reliever!"

"*sigh* And Southern Cross directives to build up the available trained combatant pool keep us from locking up the live ammunition...."

Nova: "Who's job was it to police the live ammo?"

Baldrick steps forward.

Nova: ( Facepalms)

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 11:04 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Fool! You're supposed to bite a bullet to stave off the pain!"
"Okay."
#BLAM#
"Not an EXPLOSIVE bullet, fool!"

"It was the only way to relieve the pain from the pain reliever!"

"*sigh* And Southern Cross directives to build up the available trained combatant pool keep us from locking up the live ammunition...."

Nova: "Who's job was it to police the live ammo?"
Baldric steps forward.

Nova: ( Facepalms)

Nova: "How would you like a trip to the Infirmary?"
Baldric: :shock:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 10:00 am

Arnie100 wrote:
SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:"Fool! You're supposed to bite a bullet to stave off the pain!"
"Okay."
#BLAM#
"Not an EXPLOSIVE bullet, fool!"

"It was the only way to relieve the pain from the pain reliever!"

"*sigh* And Southern Cross directives to build up the available trained combatant pool keep us from locking up the live ammunition...."

Nova: "Who's job was it to police the live ammo?"
Baldric steps forward.

Nova: ( Facepalms)

Nova: "How would you like a trip to the Infirmary?"
Baldric:

Nova's comment would have been too subtle for him. He'd probably ask her if he could have some biscuits too.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:24 pm

Nova: "Too bad there isn't a facepalm Smiley..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Apr 26, 2017 10:12 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Nova: "Too bad there isn't a facepalm Smiley..."

Dana: "Nova..beating your head against that wall can't do you any good..."
Nova: "COME SWEET CONCUSSIVE AMNESIA!!! TAKE MY TORMENT AWAY!!!" :frust:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 4:16 pm

Baldrick: "I have a plan sir..."

Nova: "Is it a plan so cunning you can pin a tail on it and call it a fox?" :nh:

Baldrick: "Yes sir I believe it is."

#BLAM!#

Nova: "Thank you."

Alecia: (Holstering her gun) "No problem."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:26 pm

Principle: "Please say hello to your new instructor in introductory space tactics, ex-Admiral 'Voted Most LIkely to be Snuffed by a Sith Lord' Ozzel."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 10:47 pm

taalismn wrote:Principle: "Please say hello to your new instructor in introductory space tactics, ex-Admiral 'Voted Most LIkely to be Snuffed by a Sith Lord' Ozzel."

Principle: "Also give a warm welcome to our guest lecturer on Space Sanitation, COMMANDER ADAM QUARK!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Apr 30, 2017 3:03 pm

SRoss wrote:
Principle: "Also give a warm welcome to our guest lecturer on Space Sanitation, COMMANDER ADAM QUARK!"

Probably the only lecturer to attend MCHS#69 who actually walks back out(he, after all, has an honorary chair at the BioSanitation Corps' Hazmat Academy).

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue May 02, 2017 10:52 pm

Commander Adam Quark: "I am never lecturing at this place AGAIN. The DEPRAVITY..." :shock:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed May 03, 2017 1:58 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Commander Adam Quark: "I am never lecturing at this place AGAIN. The DEPRAVITY..."

Adam rounds the corner and encounters an army of Bettys.

Betty I, II etc: :love:

"Hiii Adam..." :love:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed May 03, 2017 9:09 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Commander Adam Quark: "I am never lecturing at this place AGAIN. The DEPRAVITY..."

Student: "How can you say that? I mean, after the sex ed lectures around here, I'm surprised ANY of us are the least bit interested in sex..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed May 03, 2017 10:27 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Commander Adam Quark: "I am never lecturing at this place AGAIN. The DEPRAVITY..."

Student: "How can you say that? I mean, after the sex ed lectures around here, I'm surprised ANY of us are the least bit interested in sex..."

At that moment, in the hallway, Corg gets blowgun darted and dragged off by Annie, Tenchi races around the corner pursued by many females, and a net drops down and lifts Shinji into the ceiling.

Student: "Ok, maybe it's just us boys who aren't interested in sex?"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed May 03, 2017 11:26 pm

"I dunno...maybe it was that whole graphic presentation about how human genders are really two different species and sex is really the mutual implantation of parasitic larvae between hosts resulting in mutually assured destruction by chestburster?

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu May 04, 2017 12:32 am

taalismn wrote:"I dunno...maybe it was that whole graphic presentation about how human genders are really two different species and sex is really the mutual implantation of parasitic larvae between hosts resulting in mutually assured destruction by chestburster?"

"Damn it! Gendo replaced the Sex-Ed film with Alien again!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu May 04, 2017 1:13 pm

SRoss wrote:[

"Damn it! Gendo replaced the Sex-Ed film with Alien again!"

"Really, Gendo, haven't your plans to traumatize your son and turn him into a pathetic milksop gone far enough?"
"You approved his transfer to this school and you ask me this NOW?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu May 04, 2017 3:20 pm

taalismn wrote:
SRoss wrote:[

"Damn it! Gendo replaced the Sex-Ed film with Alien again!"

"Really, Gendo, haven't your plans to traumatize your son and turn him into a pathetic milksop gone far enough?"
"You approved his transfer to this school and you ask me this NOW?"

Gendo suddenly hears a Safety being clicked off.

Yandare-chan: (Aiming a minigun) "I'm sorry, but I can't have you upsetting Sempi."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu May 04, 2017 3:34 pm

SRoss wrote:[
Gendo suddenly hears a Safety being clicked off.

Yandare-chan: (Aiming a minigun) "I'm sorry, but I can't have you upsetting Sempi."

Gendo: "Oh yeah, forgot about his entourage."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu May 04, 2017 11:08 pm

A whole bunch of Chestbursters skitter in fear from the cafeteria...

Washuu: "COWARDS! IT'S JUST CURRY!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri May 05, 2017 10:30 am

SRoss wrote:A whole bunch of Chestbursters skitter in fear from the cafeteria...

Washuu: "COWARDS! IT'S JUST CURRY!"

Ah, the cleansing diet. Effectively renders the body uninhabitable by parasitic organisms.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Wed May 10, 2017 5:03 pm

Tenchi: (Turning to Corg) "Um, you realize, with Shinji away, we're going to be the focus of the pursuit and sex skits."

Corg & Tenchi: (Clinging to each other) :eek:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Wed May 10, 2017 5:36 pm

Annie: "Corgie-poo, come out, come out, wherever you are! I need my feet massaged!"
Corgie-Poo: "Oh, no! Have you seen her feet?!"
Tenchi: "Can't be worse then Ayeka's or Ryohko's!"