Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

[SRoss]

Edwards: "Yes! We have something named after us!"
Kyle:

Grayson: "Isn't this just a cannon pointed at the ceiling?"

Charon: (Lighting the fuse) "Your point?"

Grayson: "Oh, S**!"
Charon:

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!

Grayson: "AAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!"

Grayson: "well if anything that was an interesting study of ballistic arcs, now to get to work."

*Looks at his ruined science classroom*

Grayson: "Damn, someone stole my hyper neutron accelerator, well I hope they enjoy the feeling of total body irradiation."

Mr. Taylor: "Hmm, this needs MORE POWER!"

Everyone Else: "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

[Arnie100]

Mr. Taylor: "Hmm, this needs MORE POWER!"

Everyone Else: "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Mr. Taylor: "Just kidding!"
Everyone Else: "Wheeeww..."
Mr. Taylor: "On the other hand..."
Everyone Else: "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" (Stampede of a students out of the classroom...)

[SRoss]

Edwards: "THIS WAY GUYS! I secured an escape plane!"

In the cockpit...

Harrison Ford: "This is your captain. I've shut down all the electronic navigation aids. Prepare for take-off."

Plane roars down the taxiway at take-off speed and piles into a nearby orange grove.

[Arnie100]

Edwards: "THIS WAY GUYS! I secured an escape plane!"

In the cockpit...

Harrison Ford: "This is your captain. I've shut down all the electronic navigation aids. Prepare for take-off."

Plane roars down the taxiway at take-off speed and piles into a nearby orange grove.

(Of course Ford safely ejects out of the airplane...)

Edwards: "That's not fair!"
Kyle: "Here we go again..."

(Down Below...)

Charon:

[taalismn]

[
Grayson: "Damn, someone stole my hyper neutron accelerator, well I hope they enjoy the feeling of total body irradiation."

Mr. Taylor: "Hmm, this needs MORE POWER!"

Everyone Else: "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Doctor Manhattan: "See...this is how I got into trouble in the first place...."

[Arnie100]

[
Grayson: "Damn, someone stole my hyper neutron accelerator, well I hope they enjoy the feeling of total body irradiation."

Mr. Taylor: "Hmm, this needs MORE POWER!"

Everyone Else: "NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Doctor Tachyon: "See...this is how I got into trouble in the first place...."

Mr. Taylor: "Oh, please...that needs..."
Waashu: "I bet I could tweak it!"

(Mass stampede as school empties...)

[taalismn]

Doctor Manhattan: "Our next lesson, after the folly of humanity, will be 'Pulling Yourself Back Together After Your Intrinsic Field has been Obliterated'."

[Arnie100]

Kyle: "Where IS everyone?!"
Edwards: "I've got a bad feeling about this..."
Kyle: "Oh, great...you just jinxed us."

[taalismn]

Kyle: "Where IS everyone?!"
Edwards: "I've got a bad feeling about this..."
Kyle: "Oh, great...you just jinxed us."

Charon: "Just enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasts...because it NEVER lasts..."
Edwards/Kyle: "...hi...!"
Charon: "See what I mean?"

[SRoss]

"Ah, we survived Halloween, and now the Christmas season is upon us."

"How can you tell?"

"Shinji's stalker is singing on the PA."

[SRoss]

Shinji: "What do you mean I can't transfer to another school!?!"

[SRoss]

"Is anyone else alarmed that we have Doug Marcaida judging the students shop projects?"

Rook: (Quenching her blade) "No, why?"

[taalismn]

"Is anyone else alarmed that we have Doug Marcaida judging the students shop projects?"

Rook: (Quenching her blade) "No, why?"

"Only if you're not taking the advanced courses about IEDs..."

[SRoss]

Doug: (Testing Yandere-chan's shop project) "It weeell kill."

Dana: "But, it's just supposed to be a spice rack!?!"

[taalismn]

Doug: (Testing Yandere-chan's shop project) "It weeell kill."

Dana: "But, it's just supposed to be a spice rack!?!"

"The kitchen is arguably the most dangerous place in your home."
"...when did you visit my house?"

[SRoss]

Doug: (Testing Yandere-chan's shop project) "It weeell kill."

Dana: "But, it's just supposed to be a spice rack!?!"

"The kitchen is arguably the most dangerous place in your home."
"...when did you visit my house?"

"Well, it stands to reason... After all, the cafeteria is the most dangerous part of this school."

[taalismn]

"Don't let the PE teachers hear that..."

[SRoss]

"Don't let the PE teachers hear that..."

PE Teacher: (Dropping a pile of canonballs on the gym floor) "OK KIDS! TIME FOR DODGE BALL!"

[taalismn]

"Don't let the PE teachers hear that..."

PE Teacher: (Dropping a pile of canonballs on the gym floor) "OK KIDS! TIME FOR DODGE BALL!"

"I didn't think they actually had automatic dhalgren cannons...."

[SRoss]

"Class, I'd like to introduce you to your new English teacher ... Professor Yellow *itch."

"THAT'S YELLAVITCH! YOU WORM!!!"

[taalismn]

"So, what do we give thanks for this Thanksgiving?"
"The fact that we don't have to draw straws this year to see who's the 'turkey'?"

[SRoss]

Nova: "I'm worried. One of the Fourth Waller's is missing."

Infirmary:

SRoss: (Stapped to a table) "Umm, I'm Canadian. We have Universal Health Care..."

Washuu: "Silly Boy!" (Snicker) "That's why I'm using the BIG laser..."

[SRoss]

SRoss: (Laying back in the Staff Lounge) "Well, wasn't like I needed that kidney ... or the appendix."

[taalismn]

SRoss: (Laying back in the Staff Lounge) "Well, wasn't like I needed that kidney ... or the appendix."

"Or those six inches of spine..."

[SRoss]

"Why are all the staff and students crowded around outside the school."

Random MCH #69 Student: "Someone covered the ceiling with Mistletoe..."

Meanwhile, hiding just inside...

The Sisters of Clea err Repentia:

[taalismn]

Fateful Moments Upon Which the Course of History Can Change:

Ben Solo: "Funny...this doesn't look like Uncle Luke's academy..."
"Welcome to the dark side, kid..."

[SRoss]

Corg: (At his locker when an arrow wrapped in Mistletoe thunks into the wall over his head)

[taalismn]

Corg: (At his locker when an arrow wrapped in Mistletoe thunks into the wall over his head)

Unfortunately. warm-weather arachnowolverines associate mistletoe with food......

[SRoss]

"Christmas and New Years are over, how are we preparing for the student's return?"

"Staff conditioning."

"?"

Washuu: (Writing on chaulk board) "Mystudentsarenottestsubjects! Mystudentsarenottestsubjects! Mystudentsarenottestsubjects!"

Mr. Taylor: (Writing on chaulk board) "Itdoesnotneedmorepower! Itdoesnotneedmorepower! Itdoesnotneedmorepower!"

Arnie100: (Writing on chaulk board) "IwillnotsummonDagoninclass! IwillnotsummonDagoninclass! IwillnotsummonDagoninclass!"

Taalismn: (Writing on chaulk board) "TheAntilifeEquationisnotpartoffirstyearmath! TheAntilifeEquationisnotpartoffirstyearmath! TheAntilifeEquationisnotpartoffirstyearmath!"

[taalismn]

"YYYYAAAaahhhhHHHH!!! SNOW DAY!!!"
"-you DO realize that just means we're trapped here on the wrong side of the school doors?"
"...bwwwwwaaaaaaahhhhhh...."

[SRoss]

"ED-209 and the Sister's of Cle err, Repentia have been doing a god job as Hall Monitors, but I think we'll supplement them this year."

"What do you mean?"

Elsewhere...

Random MCH #69 Student: "Do you guys smell lavender?"

Ava: "Helllooo children! should you be loitering in the halls during class time?"

"Damn you're evil."

[taalismn]

"ED-209 and the Sister's of Cle err, Repentia have been doing a god job as Hall Monitors, but I think we'll supplement them this year."

"What do you mean?"

Elsewhere...

Random MCH #69 Student: "Do you guys smell lavender?"

Ava: "Helllooo children! should you be loitering in the halls during class time?"

"Damn you're evil."

\

(AVA, for those readers who are not familiar with the name, but who read this thread nevertheless, expecting high-brow entertainment, or simply punishing yourselves by voluntarily reading the equivalent of bad fanfiction, is a Non-Player Character from the Shemarrian Fan Creations thread of the Rifts Forums. She's essentially an experiment in android design and transferred intelligence by ARCHIE-3, but she escaped his laboratories and now wanders the countryside. Since she has a personality that seems like a combination of Kasumi Tendo and Belldandy, and a body packed full of sufficiently advanced technology that's mistaken for magic, many of the backwoods folk have mistaken her for some sort of goddess incarnate.
But the setting being Rifts, she's got a megadamage body and LAZERS in her four(!) arms, so abusing her kind nature is asking for more than a scolding...though she scolds pretty impressively, such that many on the receiving end of a disciplinary lecture from her, would rather that she just blasted them instead.
-The Interdim Librarian)

[SRoss]

"ED-209 and the Sister's of Cle err, Repentia have been doing a god job as Hall Monitors, but I think we'll supplement them this year."

"What do you mean?"

Elsewhere...

Random MCH #69 Student: "Do you guys smell lavender?"

Ava: "Helllooo children! should you be loitering in the halls during class time?"

"Damn you're evil."

\

(AVA, for those readers who are not familiar with the name, but who read this thread nevertheless, expecting high-brow entertainment, or simply punishing yourselves by voluntarily reading the equivalent of bad fanfiction, is a Non-Player Character from the Shemarrian Fan Creations thread of the Rifts Forums. She's essentially an experiment in android design and transferred intelligence by ARCHIE-3, but she escaped his laboratories and now wanders the countryside. Since she has a personality that seems like a combination of Kasumi Tendo and Belldandy, and a body packed full of sufficiently advanced technology that's mistaken for magic, many of the backwoods folk have mistaken her for some sort of goddess incarnate.
But the setting being Rifts, she's got a megadamage body and LAZERS in her four(!) arms, so abusing her kind nature is asking for more than a scolding...though she scolds pretty impressively, such that many on the receiving end of a disciplinary lecture from her, would rather that she just blasted them instead.
-The Interdim Librarian)

I still get a laugh out of that story with her and that poor hapless Pariah...

[taalismn]

[
I still get a laugh out of that story with her and that poor hapless Pariah...

Yep...when Do-Gooder Good/Earth Mother Figures Attack!!!!

*Again, for those readers scratching their heads, it's another snippet in the SFC thread, where Ava encounters a Shemarrian Pariah-class drone. When the Pariah tries to warn Archie-3 that it's located the runaway experiment, Ava unconsciously jams the signal, while, mistaking the Pariah for a destitute castaway, quickly repairs the Pariah's rags, gives her new sandals and homemade lavender soap(and directions to a safe bathing area and a nice town to seek shelter in), then departs. Before the Pariah can again contact Archie-3, she gets blue-screened and rebooted by a band of rebel EShemarrians who have been looking for the rumored 'Ava'(who's assuming a reputation as something of a benign Big Foot to the Shemarrian rebels), and recognize in the nice-smelling soap that they probably JUST missed their quarry.

[SRoss]

[
I still get a laugh out of that story with her and that poor hapless Pariah...

Yep...when Do-Gooder Good/Earth Mother Figures Attack!!!!

*Again, for those readers scratching their heads, it's another snippet in the SFC thread, where Ava encounters a Shemarrian Pariah-class drone. When the Pariah tries to warn Archie-3 that it's located the runaway experiment, Ava unconsciously jams the signal, while, mistaking the Pariah for a destitute castaway, quickly repairs the Pariah's rags, gives her new sandals and homemade lavender soap(and directions to a safe bathing area and a nice town to seek shelter in), then departs. Before the Pariah can again contact Archie-3, she gets blue-screened and rebooted by a band of rebel EShemarrians who have been looking for the rumored 'Ava'(who's assuming a reputation as something of a benign Big Foot to the Shemarrian rebels), and recognize in the nice-smelling soap that they probably JUST missed their quarry.

Reye: "Do not worry sisters. I have acquired the services of expert trackers."

Matt Moneymaker: "Today on Finding Bigfoot me and Bobo are taking break to find the elusive Ava."

Rand: "I take it I'm here because of my awesome wilderness skills."

Bobo: "No. Because we've heard that this Ava is drawn to helpless pathetic things."

Rand:

Kyle: "Why am I tied up in the middle of the hallway?"

[taalismn]

[q

Bobo: "No. Because we've heard that this Ava is drawn to helpless pathetic things."

Rand: ]"

Annie: "Let me set him on fire first."

[Alpha 11]

"ED-209 and the Sister's of Cle err, Repentia have been doing a god job as Hall Monitors, but I think we'll supplement them this year."

"What do you mean?"

Elsewhere...

Random MCH #69 Student: "Do you guys smell lavender?"

Ava: "Helllooo children! should you be loitering in the halls during class time?"

"Damn you're evil."

\

(AVA, for those readers who are not familiar with the name, but who read this thread nevertheless, expecting high-brow entertainment, or simply punishing yourselves by voluntarily reading the equivalent of bad fanfiction, is a Non-Player Character from the Shemarrian Fan Creations thread of the Rifts Forums. She's essentially an experiment in android design and transferred intelligence by ARCHIE-3, but she escaped his laboratories and now wanders the countryside. Since she has a personality that seems like a combination of Kasumi Tendo and Belldandy, and a body packed full of sufficiently advanced technology that's mistaken for magic, many of the backwoods folk have mistaken her for some sort of goddess incarnate.
But the setting being Rifts, she's got a megadamage body and LAZERS in her four(!) arms, so abusing her kind nature is asking for more than a scolding...though she scolds pretty impressively, such that many on the receiving end of a disciplinary lecture from her, would rather that she just blasted them instead.
-The Interdim Librarian)

Wow. What a combo of charactors.

[
I still get a laugh out of that story with her and that poor hapless Pariah...

Yep...when Do-Gooder Good/Earth Mother Figures Attack!!!!

*Again, for those readers scratching their heads, it's another snippet in the SFC thread, where Ava encounters a Shemarrian Pariah-class drone. When the Pariah tries to warn Archie-3 that it's located the runaway experiment, Ava unconsciously jams the signal, while, mistaking the Pariah for a destitute castaway, quickly repairs the Pariah's rags, gives her new sandals and homemade lavender soap(and directions to a safe bathing area and a nice town to seek shelter in), then departs. Before the Pariah can again contact Archie-3, she gets blue-screened and rebooted by a band of rebel EShemarrians who have been looking for the rumored 'Ava'(who's assuming a reputation as something of a benign Big Foot to the Shemarrian rebels), and recognize in the nice-smelling soap that they probably JUST missed their quarry.

[
I still get a laugh out of that story with her and that poor hapless Pariah...

Yep...when Do-Gooder Good/Earth Mother Figures Attack!!!!

*Again, for those readers scratching their heads, it's another snippet in the SFC thread, where Ava encounters a Shemarrian Pariah-class drone. When the Pariah tries to warn Archie-3 that it's located the runaway experiment, Ava unconsciously jams the signal, while, mistaking the Pariah for a destitute castaway, quickly repairs the Pariah's rags, gives her new sandals and homemade lavender soap(and directions to a safe bathing area and a nice town to seek shelter in), then departs. Before the Pariah can again contact Archie-3, she gets blue-screened and rebooted by a band of rebel EShemarrians who have been looking for the rumored 'Ava'(who's assuming a reputation as something of a benign Big Foot to the Shemarrian rebels), and recognize in the nice-smelling soap that they probably JUST missed their quarry.

Reye: "Do not worry sisters. I have acquired the services of expert trackers."

Matt Moneymaker: "Today on Finding Bigfoot me and Bobo are taking break to find the elusive Ava."

Rand: "I take it I'm here because of my awesome wilderness skills."

Bobo: "No. Because we've heard that this Ava is drawn to helpless pathetic things."

Rand:

Kyle: "Why am I tied up in the middle of the hallway?"

[q

Bobo: "No. Because we've heard that this Ava is drawn to helpless pathetic things."

Rand: ]"

Annie: "Let me set him on fire first."

Poor Rand.

[taalismn]

Charon: "Let me get this straight...you didn't burn to death, you were-"
Rand: "HELPED to death, yes...between at least five different chemical fire extinguishers being dumped on me, and somebody tackling me to the ground to roll out the flames, I was smothered, choked, frozen and crushed to death."

[SRoss]

Charon: "Let me get this straight...you didn't burn to death, you were-"
Rand: "HELPED to death, yes...between at least five different chemical fire extinguishers being dumped on me, and somebody tackling me to the ground to roll out the flames, I was smothered, choked, frozen and crushed to death."

Roomba: (Explaining to Ava) <Yes, apparently humans can't breath a 100% Halon atmosphere.>

[taalismn]

Charon: "Let me get this straight...you didn't burn to death, you were-"
Rand: "HELPED to death, yes...between at least five different chemical fire extinguishers being dumped on me, and somebody tackling me to the ground to roll out the flames, I was smothered, choked, frozen and crushed to death."

Roomba: (Explaining to Ava) <Yes, apparently humans can't breath a 100% Halon atmosphere.>

Actually, I think it was the Roombas with the freon sprayers. The school automatics triggered the Halon. Ava tried to wrap Rand in a cloak to smoother the flames. Several faculty members threw fire extinguishers at him.
Yeah, Rand was done in by altruism.

[SRoss]

"So, why does a school have such aggressive fire suppression?"

"Weeelll..."

FLASHBACK TO THE NIGHT THE BLOOD RIDERS WERE HIRED TO ORGANIZE THE SCHOOL DANCE

"Oh."

Erin: (Yelling from down the hall) "BEST SCHOOL DANCE EVER!"

Rei & Sarah: (Facepalm)

[taalismn]

"That's when we installed the new fire control reservoirs on the roof."
"I thought those were rooftop swimming pools!"

[SRoss]

"Shinji? Tenchi? What are you doing?"

Tenchi: "Preparing for Valentine's Day"

"But that's not til February..."

Shinji: "YES!!! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!"

[taalismn]

"Shinji? Tenchi? What are you doing?"

Tenchi: "Preparing for Valentine's Day"

"But that's not til February..."

Shinji: "YES!!! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!"

"So....that would explain your interest in finding undocumented dead-space in the walls?"

[SRoss]

"Shinji? Tenchi? What are you doing?"

Tenchi: "Preparing for Valentine's Day"

"But that's not til February..."

Shinji: "YES!!! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!"

"So....that would explain your interest in finding undocumented dead-space in the walls?"

Meanwhile, Tenchi and Shinji open the old Jewish Wine Cabinet in the Defence Against Dark Arts class...

Dybbok: (From inside) "Get your own hiding place! This one's mine!!!"

[taalismn]

[

Meanwhile, Tenchi and Shinji open the old Jewish Wine Cabinet in the Defence Against Dark Arts class...

Dybbok: (From inside) "Get your own hiding place! This one's mine!!!"

The vicious nearly unseen wars for hiding spaces at MCHS#69 have been compared by the history teachers to the wars waged by various European barbarian tribes in their quest to flee more powerful tribes(such as the Huns), that shattered the Roman Empire.....

[batlchip]

Misato:umm......Bato? Why is there a bunch of
red shirts guarding Tenchi and shinji's room?
Bato: Because valentines day is coming and we need the stormtroopers to be chaperones at the school dance.

[SRoss]

Misato: "Umm......Bato? Why is there a bunch of red shirts guarding Tenchi and Shinji's room?"

Bato: "Because valentines day is coming and we need the Stormtroopers to be chaperones at the school dance."

Sister of Cle... err Repentia #1: "Hey chaperoning is OUR job!"

Sister of Cle... err Repentia #2: "Yeah! At least WE can shoot!"

[taalismn]

Misato:umm......Bato? Why is there a bunch of
red shirts guarding Tenchi and shinji's room?
Bato: Because valentines day is coming and we need the stormtroopers to be chaperones at the school dance.

So, it's a suicide detail, no?

[batlchip]

Misato:umm......Bato? Why is there a bunch of
red shirts guarding Tenchi and shinji's room?
Bato: Because valentines day is coming and we need the stormtroopers to be chaperones at the school dance.

So, it's a suicide detail, no?

Pretty much. At least red shirts are easy to replace. Stormtroopers you have to clone them,then train,and make armor for them. Red shirts all have to do is beam off a planet, tell them they will be a important part of the cew and there's fame and glory.