*Cut to the scene of a dirty, dingy bar on the ass end of the galaxy*
Shinji: " I think we'll be safe here. "
Tenchi: " I hope so I don't know how much long I can keep running from those loony psycho b****es. "
Unknown Man: " Ahh gentleman it seems like you both are in a bit of trouble. " he said in an over done Australian accent.
Shinji and Tenchi:
Unknown Man: " Allow me to introduce myself, I am Count Du Money, a trouble shooter of no small fame. "
Shinji and Tenchi *look at one another then look at the Count*
Count Du Money: " Judging from the looks of you two you both seem to be having trouble of the *Feminine* kind am I right? "
Tenchi: " Look nothing against you personally but we don't know you from a hole in the ground. "
Count Du Money: " Oh I understand completely and I'm not offended in the lest. " *waves at a topless waitress and orders some drinks.
* Once the drinks arrive the Count slips a 50 credit note in the topless waitress's ratty G-string*
Count Du Money: " so what kind of trouble are the two of you in? " he asked as he take a large drink of his high tess drink.
Tenchi & Shinji: *Look at their drinks and are debating on rather or not they should drink them after the long hours of dodge the mob of rabid fan girls that want to do *unspeakable* things to them for a week straight*
Tenchi: *takes a sip of this drink to try and relax as he is considering hiring the Count to get them as far away from the mob of horny, crazed fan girls as possible*
Shinji* who's *issues* have an entire multi dimensional multi media broadcast company down half his drink in one go. *
*Suddenly there is lound, feminine squealing that make Tenchi and Shinji dive for cover*
Count Du Money:
*Count Du Money just relaxes as he sees that the feminine squealing was from one of the topless waitresses because one of the fairly drunken patrons dropped an ice cube down the back of her ratty G-string*
Count Du Money: " Relax guys it's safe. " * he says to Shinji and Tenchi who crawl out from under the table as they realize that the mob of lust addled stalkers have not found them and sit back at the table.*
*Shinji and Tenchi finish off their drinks as they try to relax from the false alarm that nearly gave them a heart attack*
Count Du Money: " It looks like your situation is far, far, FAR worse then I have be led to believe. "
*Suddenly Tenchi and Shinji drop to the floor passed out cold, not only from their strong drinks but also that the Count had slipped a large amount of xenomorph tranquilizers in their drinks when they had duck and covered in misplaced fear*
Count Du Money:* securing Tenchi and Shinji in inescapable restraints after stripping them naked*, " Nothing personal, but your asses have been brought and paid for and I ALWAYS complete my job, but for what it is worth I can afford to buy an entire universe with what I'm getting paid for this job. "
*One week later in an unknown location*
Count Du Money:" As I promised, two *lovely* male teenager idols delivered to you. "
*One shadowy figure steps forwards from a large group of shadowy figures*
Shadowy Figure#1 :*with a distorted voice*, " You have done well, we are pleased with your work. "
Count Du Money looks at his wrist computer and sees a *LARGE* number followed by an even *LARGER* set of zeros has been deposited into his untraceable bank account*, " The pleasure was all mine. ", *walks away from the bound and slumbering Shinji, Tenchi and the group of shadowy figures.
Count Du Money:*lighting up a nasty ass smelling cigar* " Life is good. "
" Ale and Whores, it's not just your reward, it's your Motivation. "