RIFTS: THREADS BOOK 2 "Displacement" (Serial Fan Fiction)

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:54 pm

Set in the same universe as THREADS this new story tells the tale of what happened to the people of the Great Miami Valley of Ohio when they were ripped from Earth and deposited on an Alien World racked with war.

http://ow.ly/rlgS306oNXM

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Wed Nov 23, 2016 1:56 pm

In Chapter 2 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT we are introduced to the Keltarans, are they friend or foe?

http://ow.ly/QpMQ306sPlH

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 8:36 am

In Part 3 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT we get our first round of exposition.

http://ow.ly/Cq4o306xxsp

Daniel Stoker · Sun Nov 27, 2016 10:18 pm

I'm only caught up to 2, but interesting story here so far.

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:24 pm

In Chapter 4 the humans and Keltarans meet and we learn a few things.

http://ow.ly/epWx306Bi7I

Daniel Stoker · Tue Nov 29, 2016 12:16 am

Ok caught up and still very much amused that it's taking place in Dayton where my mother and her family lives.

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 9:37 am

It's where I live

Daniel Stoker · Wed Nov 30, 2016 10:31 pm

Oh you poor poor thing.

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Fri Dec 09, 2016 12:41 pm

In Chapter 5 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT the Keltarans tell their story to the human refugees.

http://ow.ly/Fcuj306YCPt

Daniel Stoker · Fri Dec 09, 2016 6:08 pm

Write faster damn it!

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:57 pm

WE'RE BACK!!!

After a long hiatus RIFTS Displacement returns with a brand new Chapter 1 (no changes to the other chapters) free to read on Watt Pad.

http://ow.ly/uP4N30gI0D4

Daniel Stoker · Wed Nov 22, 2017 4:54 pm

Hurry up and write more!

Daniel Stoker

Hotrod · Unread post by **Hotrod** » Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:26 pm

Daniel Stoker wrote:Oh you poor poor thing.

Daniel Stoker

Hey, I actually like it in Dayton. Beats the other 11 places I've lived.

Daniel Stoker · Tue Dec 05, 2017 12:25 pm

I've got family there and honestly it's not bad.. but I mean.. it's still Dayton, and even worse has people related to me living there.

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:03 pm

Hey!

I didn't ask to live here.

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:03 pm

We go back to before our story starts in order read the first part of a multi-part (probably 5 parts) prologue. Read it, love it, and it will change your life... or maybe you'll just be mildly amused.

http://ow.ly/q2ei30h2i1U

Tick · Unread post by **Tick** » Wed Dec 06, 2017 12:03 am

Nice! Speaking of fan fiction, here is a real play web cast for heroes unlimited http://strangecorpseposse.blogspot.ca/ that is a ton of fun to listen too!

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Thu Dec 07, 2017 12:51 pm

In the RIFTS: Displacement Prologue Part 2 “Shudder” we see the end of Golden Age Earth from high above.

https://www.wattpad.com/504499328-rifts ... 0D-shudder

Daniel Stoker · Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:41 pm

I hope to read through it all this week, but glad to see you writing again... you know... even if you are in Dayton.

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Fri Dec 15, 2017 5:41 pm

In Part 3 of The RIFTS DISPLACEMENT Prologue The orbital community descends into chaos.

http://ow.ly/5cNd30hg601

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Wed Dec 20, 2017 5:57 pm

In Part 4 of the RIFTS DISPLACEMENT Prologue, we get a look at Area 51 on its last day of operation.

http://ow.ly/XMNh30hmiht

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Dec 21, 2017 9:49 pm

Ah, good! The Coming of the Rifts from the POV of the ones above. Rifts Orbit doesn't get enough love IMHO.

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 9:54 pm

In the final part of the "RIFTS - DISPLACEMENT" Prologue the USS Yeager and Sheppard Station find themselves on a collision course.

Read all parts for free on WattPad.

http://ow.ly/VJSJ30hLiKA

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Tue Apr 10, 2018 9:21 pm

Read Chapter 6 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT for free (as well as the rest of the story) on WattPad.

In this chapter, we are introduced to The Hawk.

https://www.wattpad.com/559797352-rifts ... 6-the-hawk

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Mon Jun 25, 2018 12:48 pm

In Chapter 7 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT (always free to read on WattPad) the human forces and the forces of the enemy make first contact.

http://ow.ly/v9fC30kEI9j

Daniel Stoker · Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:09 pm

Damn it... had to redo my phone a while back and I keep forgetting to add Wattpad to it again so I can follow the story. I really liked the first 2 chapters and loved the earlier stories so sooner or later I WILL get this done.

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Wed Aug 01, 2018 9:32 am

In Chapter 8 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT the human exiles hammer out their future as they stand at the edge of a new war for survival.

As always free to read on Wattpad.

https://www.wattpad.com/612258258-rifts ... referendum

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:21 am

In Chapter 9 of RIFTS: Displacement there is treason most foul among the human exiles.

As always, free to read on Wattpad.

#RIFTS #PalladiumBooks #FanFiction

https://www.wattpad.com/612775111-rifts ... dark-seeds

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Fri Aug 03, 2018 3:36 pm

In Chapter 10 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT the face of the enemy is revealed and the stakes are raised exponentially.

As always free to read on @wattpad

#RIFTS #PalladiumBooks #IndieWriter #FanFiction

http://ow.ly/rSbT30lgbnW

TeeAychEeMarchHare · Sun Aug 05, 2018 7:54 pm

Dayton isn't the worst place to live in Ohio.

That's more a condemnation of Cleveland, Youngstown, and Toledo than any kind of praise for Dayton though. Cleveland sets the bar *real* low. Even for Ohio, Cleveland sucks.

I lived in Ohio for ten LLLLOOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGG years. Ohio's state motto should be "At least it's not NY, NJ, MD, MI, or IL".

Lao Tzume · Unread post by **Lao Tzume** » Wed Aug 15, 2018 3:46 pm

Oh wow! I didn't know this took place in the durty DYT! I enjoyed your last work. I live in Dayton also! I love it here.

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Wed Aug 15, 2018 6:52 pm

I chose Dayton because I know the area and I wanted Wright-Patt to play a central role.

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Sat Aug 25, 2018 4:19 pm

The newest chapter of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT is now free to read on Wattpad!

https://www.wattpad.com/623167782-rifts ... %0D-allies

Hotrod · Unread post by **Hotrod** » Mon Aug 27, 2018 8:43 pm

I'm quite enjoying this read. I love the concept of a city transported into another dimension. Incidentally, I would love to see this and other similar bits developed as dimension books! It could go a long way towards explaining why humans are so common throughout the Megaverse.

I also like the way you keep it grounded by using a real place. Granted, you did this in Shores of the Dead, too, but it works well in both settings.

I have three (hopefully constructive) criticisms for you:

First, your characters seem to have the same voice. The sentence structures and expressions seem very consistent across most of the speakers. That's a problem for me as a reader when trying to differentiate characters. It feels particularly out of place during cross-species speech. I suggest you develop more distinctive speaking styles for each character. Perhaps a general's tone could be laconic, giving short, dry quips ("With enemies that big, we won't miss much."), while the alien queen speaks with unnatural grammar perfection and formality ("It was we who guided you city hence, Madam Mayor Woodruff."). Just a thought.

Second, this could use a good copy-editing scrub. There are a lot of word choice errors; these don't prevent me understanding your meaning, but they are annoying. For example, in the original post in this topic, you use "racked" which is appropriate for pool balls and rifles, but in this case, it should be "wracked."

Finally, your portrayal of military customs, courtesies, and lifestyle seems a little off. This isn't a huge problem for casual fans, but for folks who have spent years in the military, it can be a bit jarring. For example, a term like "command sergeant" tends to make them wince, as what you probably mean is "command sergeant major" who should be addressed like that if in the Marine Corps, or as "Sergeant Major" if in the Army. Nobody is called a "command sergeant" in any branch of the U.S. military. There are other, more subtle issues, but you might do well to talk to some veterans (of whom there are many around Dayton) and/or get some to read this and talk about it with them. This is also something I noticed in your Shores of the Dead series.

Please don't let any of this discourage you from writing more; I enjoy your stories and look forward to reading more chapters of this fanfic. I mean only to help.

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Thu Aug 30, 2018 2:26 pm

I appreciate the feedback. The one thing I will say is that since this is all fanfiction and posted for free on WattPad I don't have the funds to have a full edit done on it. But other than that I'll how to incorporate your suggestions.

Thanks for reading!

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Mon Sep 17, 2018 9:19 am

In Chapter 12 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT the new alliance stands on the threshold of war. Before the balloon goes up, General Anya Gonzalez takes a few moments for reflection.

https://www.wattpad.com/632330109-rifts ... %0D-equals

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Wed Sep 19, 2018 3:23 pm

In Chapter 13 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT the war to liberate Keltara begins.

https://www.wattpad.com/633125777-rifts ... D-breakout

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Fri Sep 21, 2018 12:57 pm

In Chapter 14 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT we follow POW Lt. Garret Greer behind enemy lines in the Urkasan colonies.

https://www.wattpad.com/633777961-rifts ... e-colonies

Daniel Stoker · Fri Sep 21, 2018 2:20 pm

Just added the app to my new phone and while I'm about 7 chapters behind I can finally get off my butt now and catch up.

Daniel Stoker

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Mon Sep 24, 2018 2:11 pm

In Chapter 15 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT the Humans and their Keltaran allies pause to lick their wounds, enact repairs, and prepare for the next big push.

#IndieWriter #IndieAuthor #AmWriting #Writing #FanFiction #Rifts #PalladiumBooks

https://www.wattpad.com/635047904-rifts ... -the-pause

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Wed Sep 26, 2018 5:35 pm

In Chapter 16 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT, we learn a few secrets of the Keltarans.

#IndieWriter #IndieAuthor #AmWriting #Writing #FanFiction #Rifts #PalladiumBooks

https://www.wattpad.com/635797962-rifts ... ory-lesson

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Sat Oct 20, 2018 1:34 pm

In Chapter 17 of RIFTS: DISPLACEMENT it's the night of the big election. What could possibly go wrong?

https://www.wattpad.com/644698460-rifts ... tion-night

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Fri Oct 26, 2018 7:48 am

In Chapter 18 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT opposing factions within the alliance attempt to mend the wound separating them.

https://www.wattpad.com/646887374-rifts ... -18-parlay

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Sun Oct 28, 2018 12:26 pm

In Chapter 19 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT Lt. Garret Greer arrives at the heart of Urkasan occupied Keltara and risks everything on behalf of the resistance in general and one person in particular.

#IndieWriter #IndieAuthor #AmWriting #Writing #FanFiction #Rifts #PalladiumBooks

https://www.wattpad.com/647827521-rifts ... -territory

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Thu Nov 01, 2018 2:47 pm

In Chapter 20 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT, the crews of Sheppard Station and The Yeager explore the ruins on the surface of Keltaras moon.

#IndieWriter #IndieAuthor #AmWriting #Writing #FanFiction #Rifts #PalladiumBooks

https://www.wattpad.com/649390467-rifts ... small-step

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Tue Nov 20, 2018 4:38 pm

In Chapter 22 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT, we get to know Archie 5 a little better.

#IndieWriter #IndieAuthor #AmWriting #Writing #FanFiction #Rifts #PalladiumBooks

https://www.wattpad.com/656947167-rifts ... tanglement

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Wed Nov 21, 2018 8:12 pm

In Chapter 23 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT romance comes to the Human Republic of Keltara.

https://www.wattpad.com/657392822-rifts ... ding-bells

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:36 pm

In Chapter 24 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT, old friends are reunited and one of our heroes sets off o a secret mission.

https://www.wattpad.com/658128141-rifts ... atching-up

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Sat Nov 24, 2018 3:33 pm

In CHAPTER 25 OF RIFTS DISPLACEMENT, Lieutenant Garret Greer fights for his life.

https://www.wattpad.com/658515064-rifts ... D-the-duel

Josh Hilden · Unread post by **Josh Hilden** » Sat Dec 01, 2018 11:31 pm

In Chapter 26 of RIFTS DISPLACEMENT, the Allies prepare for the final push into occupied Keltara while in that territory Arch makes progress on his secret mission.

https://www.wattpad.com/661448311-rifts ... -precipice