randomer item table

[CyCo]

List #14

1. A pup tent. If someone tries to enter, they'll find themselves unable to. Not even magic will help. However, if a dog (or Dogboy, even a dog headed demon) tries to enter, they can pass inside without any trouble. Once inside, they'll find it at a comfortable temperature, has all the desirable toys (squeaky rubber t-bone, or even the latest game consoles), along with favorite snacks & drinks (from scooby snacks, to choc mint balls, and alcohol). The floor is nice and insulated and is a comfortable sleepmat.

Any feline (includes feline based critters) that tries to enter will get a massive electric shock. If they fail a Horror Factor 12 save, they flee the scene at their fastest rate for 1d3 minutes, and have a 45% chance of loosing some of their fur. This is automatically transmitted to a tv screen inside the tent, and is recorded for future laughs.

8p

[Zer0 Kay]

So let's do the one off plus one your own game. 1st item has to relate to the last item posted second item has to be something new.

2. An all environment pop tent. Right next tro the Lord of the Deep's eyeball, the middle of an erupting volcano, space... doesn't matter. The interior of the tent is a constant environment suitable for the inhabitants even if they all require different environments. Necessary food, hydration and waste management needs are accounted for and there is even an exercise room. Unfortunately the moment bare skin touches any surface inside the tent... POP.

3. An airloom tomatoe not because it is the species but because it is a really old tomato that has been in your family for decades. It's furry and may move on its own... Unfortunately you won't know, as the reason you were reminded about it is you just stuck you hand in a pocket... and the tomatoe. You do not smell nice HF of 6 for people to approach closer than 10', save vs. Non lethal poison to avoid retching for 1d20 minutes if they come within 10'. You are somehow immune but can't smell anything else either.

[taalismn]

4. An Airloom---It looks like an ordinary manual textile loom, but if you can fly and get into clouds, it can draw the cloud into useable thread that is lighter than cotton, yet comfortably cool to the touch. If high altitude clouds cannot be reached, it will do the same with fog. Possibly a Lyn-Syrial creation, what it's doing where you found it is anybody's guess. Possibly it fell off the back of a cloud.

5. Magic Dictionary---You've heard smart people being insulted by being heckled that they read the dictionary? This dictionary heckles you for not listening to/reading it correctly. Upon being opened, it will promptly begin interrogating you by asking you the spelling of commonly misspelled words. It you get them wrong, it will sneer and jeer at you, and put you through the spelling bee wringer until you satisfy its standards, and lets you look up more complicated words and tables. On the plus side, it's a megaversal translator; it reads in just about any language and can identify phrases in all of them(mind you, it won't teach you a new language/literacy, but having it on hand and suffering its running commentary, gives you a +5% to acquire a new language/literacy).

[Zer0 Kay]

So is it any different if it uses a storm cloud vs. nares' tails?
6. [A little stretch] Thesaurus. Out of nowhere a giant reptilian foot lands, harmlessly in front of you. Even if it is inside a building. The foot is connected to a leg. As you look up the leg and foot are pulled up and a head and long neck replace it. The creature says, pardon me I did not mean to invade your personal area or otherwise make you uncomfortable. I am simply passing through. Sorry again I must take my leave.
Except when he does he says every synonym for each word, for each language everyone in the party knows. Roll vs. Psionics, -1 per language in the group, or fall asleep.
This could take minutes to hours depending on the party. A moment where everyone wishes they didn't have that rogue scholar.

7. A slinky. When used it doesn't work. Put it on stairs and push it, it collapses back to its starting point. Hold a single coil on the top stair and move the rest to the second it goes back to the origin. Try to shift it from hand to hand it stays on one hand, even if the surface it starts on is tilted or turned upside down it stays in place. It is easily moved by hand but it is mystically broken. If set down and the user walks off it will slink after them but stops as soon as they try to look. It will only follow a person around for 1D6 days if it is not touched by them again. However unless extremely careful this makes stealth at close range problematic, -5% to prowl within 10' of people. The slinky is made out of giggadamage material and tricks can still be done with it like:
Tying a rope to it and throwing it on something. It will not decouple until it is handled again.
Stretching it across a doorway or other area and making contacts on both sides. It will trip/clothes line without decoupling, unless handled.

[taalismn]

8. Tripline---A thin wire at ankle level; perception rolls to spot it are at -1. Tripping over it reveals its presence, and following it to its anchor point will reveal an automated holographic display that will come on after 1d10 seconds, after which it runs a slick 5-minute advertisement for Atlantis Sky Cruises, with an earworm jingle, and the slogan, "Why walk when you can FLY?", along with contact information of arranging a skycruise(pretty much useless off Atlantis). The display device is a dirt-cheap disposable Kittani design massproduced by slave-labor, is solar powered, and would bring about 6d6 credits for its parts(it CANNOT be reprogrammed to play anything else.

9. Wall Plaque Seal---A large plaque laying in the PCs’ path. Anybody with a successful Lore: History roll will identify it as the Seal of the President of the United States. Roll a 1d6 to determine the condition of the Seal:
1- Burnt and radioactive
2- Covered in guacamole
3- Smeared in tar and feathers
4- Encrusted in dried salt and seaweed
5- The lettering is in Cyrillic
6- It’s oversized(it’s HYYYUUUUUGGGGE) and made of solid gold (heavy as heck and worth 1d6x10,000 credits if melted down and sold)

[taalismn]

10. Seal, Dead----Carcass of a seal, aquatic variety. Unusable for meat or fur. If found in the coast, no big deal. If found far inland,,,what the hell? How'd it get here?

11. Nutcracker---Simple metal lever-tool for cracking nuts. Only...anybody in the party picking it up and actually using it to crack nuts will be interrupted by the howls of pain of a random male party member as they suddenly feel the sensation of having their testicles painfully crushed. No actual damage, but victms must roll under their ME or be incapacitated(lose initiative, HALF all combat and skill bonuses for 1d6 melees, and 25% chance of just passing out from the PAIN).

[Zer0 Kay]

For those that are joining now we're playing a game. Each post should have two items no more no less. The first is supposed to be based off the last posts second item. The second item should be your own idea.

12. A sexroid Cherry 1. IT is made of metal and no attempt was made to make IT look human it has many sharp angles where graceful curves should be, hard flat surfaces with protruding rivets. It looks more like a cross between Rosy the cleaning robot and Bender with Chery 1 boldly emblazoned across its chest. It IS currently off. There is a button on the belly labeled press for a ride. There is also a piece of paper near it. Hopefully whoever finds it reads the paper it is a survey most of them at no star with horrible accounts a couple must have been written by massochists with five stars and the same horrible account told from a "different" point of view. If turned on causes 2d10 SDC going through the motions of copulation.

13. Can of spam... Well it is spoiled ham in a can. By spoiled I mean dead and by can I mean outhouse. The dead pig is looking out from the toilet. GMs... handle accordingly.

[taalismn]

14. Fortified Outhouse---MDC portajohn just off the path. It has armored construction, air filtration, a locking door, and gunports. The current occupant wishes to be left to have a bowel movement in peace and wants you to shove off. If you're desperate to use the facilities, or just don't like the attitude of somebody telling you to get lost, attacking the outhouse is going to be more difficult than you think; the construction has 500 MDC, the guy inside has a laser rifle, flame thrower and grenade launcher, toilet paper for a month, filtered rainwater, survival rations, enough reading material that he can hold out until his reinforcements arrive(yeah, he's got a radio too), and apparently strong magic and psionic resistance. Storming the place will result in a FAE methane explosion clearing the area, as he rocket-ejection-seats to safety. Somebody apparently thought of just about EVERYTHING when they designed the outhouse, or this maniac just likes to make sure he's not caught with his pants down, even when his pants are down.

15. Reminder Card---Small cardboard card with ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ printed on it, and scrawled Greek on the back, reading ‘Dionysus-7 o’clock’.

[Zer0 Kay]

For those that are joining now we're playing a game. Each post should have two items no more no less. The first is supposed to be based off the last posts second item. The second item should be your own idea.

16. A business card. It has your name and contact information on it. There is a nearby box that says 1/100 box of 500 cards and is empty.

17. A Russian throwing knife. Because in Russia you don't throw knives, knives throw you...

[taalismn]

18. A knife. A BIG knife. As in it has what looks a a varnished giant sequoia stump for a handle, and a blade roughly eighty feet long and apparently made of some sort of armor plate, sharpened along one edge. It's been jabbed into the ground halfway up the blade, and shows signs of wear, and a few blood stains as well. Otherwise, it looks like an ordinary butcher's knife.

19. Park Bench---A park bench made of pre-Rifts Golden Age 'miracle' megadamage(25 MDC) plastics. It's just sitting out in the wilderness, undamaged, with no apparent site or road nearby that it might be overlooking or waiting on. A 'In the memory of-" plaque on it is unfinished, as no name has been embossed/engraved on it. The bench has a monetary value of about 4d6 credits to any community willing to buy it for their own use, but the MDC plastic cannot be easily recycled into anything else. The bench's real value might be to any tired adventurer who comes across it and needs a place to sit down and rest, in which case it's a priceless piece of serendipity.

[Zer0 Kay]

20. You find an old ruined gym. After the first person enters they dont notice their friends are missing. Their friends are kept out by an invisible force. If someone does something to dismiss spirits they're able to enter but their friend isn't there, kept in a safe pocket dimension. Within that pocket dimension the character is worked out for what seems like a year. Just as mysteriously the character is dumped in front of their friends. In a pool of sweat stuck in the fetal position. Any attempt to help them regain normal posture is puts them in agony. A doctor can try to diagnose and will discover that the character has Kreiatinine poisoning and needs to be put on saline drip to rehydrate them. The character has 1d10 days to get the diagnosis and treatment or their muscles will begin to die. Healing powers and cure poison wont work as there is no damage and the kreatinine was naturally produced by the body. Hey on the plus side the PC looks super tone and if they receive treatment even get +1 to PS. On the way out the sign on the front of the building falls off barely missing the last person out. The impact clears of the grime. The name of the place is "The Bench Press". Then the building falls to rubble.

21. A box of 21 enchanted shrews... you know because they glow... and the Geiger counters aren't pinging... anymore than normal. The enchanted shrews each do 1d6 damage, SD in non- magic rich environments and MD in magic rich environments. After causing the damage the shrews will fall to the ground and run back to the thrower and climb into their little pouch... Oh the Shrewiken pouch is also in the box. If the pouch isnt carried by the thrower they will still return, but they'll attack.

[taalismn]

22. Box of 22 enchanted squirrels---If released from their box, they will immediately go for the nuts....Males in the party and/or any M.O.M. Crazies will be attacked. Each squirrel has 5 MDC, has a speed of 15, is +3 to strike/dodge, has two actions/attacks per melee, and does 2d4 damage, SD in non- magic rich environments and MD in magic rich environments. They will scurry about like mad until one of the following is met: a) they have emasculated at least one of the characters(or done critical skull damage to any Crazies), b) they are destroyed, c) the characters manage to retreat at least 2,000 ft from the box, or d) the box is destroyed(takes 100 MDC). Destroying the squirrels but not the box means the box will regenerate a new batch of killer squirrels within 24 hours. The box actually contains/is a minor Alien Intelligence that projects squirrel-like avatars because the insane AI has come to believe it IS a squirrel spirit inhabiting multiple squirrel bodies. Any attempt to communicate with the Alien Intelligence will reveal that it is incurably, well, nuts.

23. Freezer Box of Nitrated Sausages----About fifty lbs, of hot dogs packed in a large metal case. The nitrate is ammonium nitrate; the box is an ANFO bomb that will do 1d6x100 SDC (or 1d6 MD) to a 20 ft radius, if somebody tries to remove the meat from the box. Within 1d4 minutes of the explosives going off, about 2d6 local farmers/locals will show up to see what their trap did; the baited bomb was meant to deal with a local predator raiding their hamlet. They are armed with shotguns and low-end Northern Gun weapons and light non-EBA body armor. They will be annoyed that somebody else tripped their trap and wasted a good plan, and if anybody in the party offers to help(albeit for a fee) deal with the creature they're baiting, the farmers will refuse, calling the party too stupid to help if they couldn't spot the trap. If the characters volunteer to help for free, they get to effectively be the bait for the next trap.

[Zer0 Kay]

24. A freezer box full of ignited weiners.
There is a large reefer storage container. In it are five cryogenically stored Dachshund dog boys. They are 10 feet tall and all have burster powers.

25. A pair of glasses. After you put them on your vision is blurry without them. Curses

[taalismn]

26. Beer Goggles----They let you see beer, line of sight. You not only can find hidden beer, you can tell what kind it is, how old it is, and the alcohol content of same.

27. Giant Pumpkin and Patch...The centerpiece of this little garden is roughly 12 ft across and weighing on the order of 3 tons. Anybody stupid enough to try carving this vegetable monster will get carved up instead, as it opens a jack-o-lantern-style toothed maw, pulls itself up on its vines, and starts attacking. The Pumpkin has 300 MDC, kinetic attacks like explosives and rail guns do HALF damage to its thick shell, is IMMUNE to psionic and magic attacks, it moves at a Spd of 20, has 6 actions/attacks per melee, bites for 1d4x10 MD, entangles at +3 with its vines(6 of them and each has 100 MDC) that slash and crush for 2d4 MD each, and can spit seeds up to 800 ft, each seed doing 4d6 MD. If a seed actually penetrates flesh, roll versus magic or the seed will start germinating in the victim, doing/draining 3d6 HP/MDC per melee. The seed can be removed with surgery(-10% to the skill) or killed with an injection of herbicide, or application of magic(Wither Plants will work like a charm, as will Exorcism) that does as much damage to the seed as it has absorbed from its host, as it hasn't yet acquired the magic resistance the adult form has. If the victim dies before the seed(s) can be removed/stopped, they sprout into a new monster pumpkin. Yeah, it's revenge of the Pumpkin Spice.

[Zer0 Kay]

Nice seasonal theme...

[taalismn]

Nice seasonal theme...

It's amazing what you can come up with at 10 pm with sleep dogging you. You either get really stupid with your posts, or you tap uninhibited-by-reason depths of inspiration.

[abe]

28.a goofy goober! A very silly sentient peanut that proceeds to make sure you goof around with it!

[taalismn]

29. A tall black-furred, buck-toothed Dog Boy wearing baggy outer wear walks past you on the path. He says nothing, but simply looks at your party with cold, calm half-closed eyes, assessing you with a hardened killer's gaze. If nobody does anything with regards to the stranger, he simply continues on his way and vanishes into the wilderness. If anybody tries to talk to him, he simply ignores them. If anybody attacks or startles him, he silently and suddenly attacks with the viciousness of a kill hound, but revealing that under his baggy clothing, he has an arsenal strapped to him body and the high-level skill(15th level commando) to use it. He will fight until either he is killed or at least half the party is killed.
A little ways down the path from the encounter with the Dog Boy is the dismembered remains of what looks like a man-sized peanut-like d-bee. A successful forensics skill roll will determine that the likely chain of events was that the d-bee was beaten and then impaled with a walking stick, then slow-roasted with fire, and then a large part of the body was mechanically ground to a paste.

30. Zombies---A group of zombies lurches out to the wilderness. They will, however, come to a halt a respectful distance from the party, then one will ask, in a guttural but measured voice, where they are and, if possible, for directions to a specific graveyard or mausoleum. If the PCs answer them, the spokes-zombie will thank them for their help, the others will groan and moan in affirmation, then shuffle off in the indicated direction.

[Zer0 Kay]

31. Zoombies: 1d20 cars of various makes and models rocket toward you. The only things the cars have in common are the multiple JATO packs pushing them foward and the zombie guidance system. Roll strike for each vehicle. Party members roll initiative to see who dodges first. Resolve in initiative order, each character gets one dodge. All cars with a successful attack, strike the character causing 1d4 damage. Then the modified airbag deploys cutting off the zombies head so the car is no longer a danger. If the character rolls to avoid half damage, successful or not they roll another dodge to see if any of the remaining cars hit them (cars use same rolls for whole process) any cars that completely miss will harmlessly run into something or run out of gas and deploy the airbag to decapitate the zombies.

32. A fenced in field. Sign says off leash human park. You see dog boys playing with naked humans with collars. Just as your eyes connect with one of the humans and you come to the realization it is you and anger and embarrassment and a flood of other emotions overtake you, the whole park disappears in a spark of blue energy. This phase town crap is getting worse...

[taalismn]

33. Park Sign----Sign stating INVISIBLE NUDIST PARK. The woods and meadows around the sign, though apparently manicured and trimmed, are empty of anybody. !d4 minutes later, a random PC is slapped by something unseen. Nothing shows up on sensors or even magic senses.

34. Zip Line----PCs come across a cable attached to a tree(or building) with a castered set of handlebars(and harness) attached to the line. The other end of the line stretches off into the distance. Roll a 1d8 to see where it goes:
-1 Ends up in front of a Coalition patrol
-2 Ends in the middle of a pond
-3 Attached to a Tree Elemental(and it ain't happy somebody attached a zip line to it)
-4 Lumbering Camp(lumberjacks will be surprised to see somebody using their zip line, but not terribly upset)
-5 Ends in the mouth of a giant monster
-6 Line curves up into the atmosphere, and in violation of physics, the zip-liner will find themselves accelerating into orbit.
-7 Line disappears into a mine shaft and into darkness.
-8 Line disappears into a random rift.

[Zer0 Kay]

35. Zippered line. 1d20 guys are all taking a leak... not in a restroom and not necessarily in the same place. At the same time you notice them you step on a twig startling all of them. In a rush they quickly zip up... uh oh, there is now much screaming and cursing and many drop to their knees in pain some pass straight out.

36. A rat king. Not anything cool, just 1d20 rats that died together because their tails got bound.

[taalismn]

37. Dirty Rat----A large mangy rodent(though not an RUS) scurries out of the undergrowth and attacks the nearest unarmored PC. 30% it's rabid, and whoever got bit in the flesh will be making a roll versus disease or else be seeking medical treatment when the symptoms start showing. 90% chance it's carrying fleas and ticks, who will jump ship and re-establish themselves quite happily on any available warmblooded PC.

38. Darklight Candles-----A tin container holding 2d6 six-inch jet-black candles that radiate dark magic. Lighting one will reveal they work like regular candles, only in reverse; they cast an area of total darkness 6 ft in diameter, and dim light gradually out to 10 ft. Those regular creatures and objects will occult the dark light, leaving a reverse 'light shadow' behind them. Creatures of magic/darkness will not have this effect, but will be enveloped in the darkness(and incidentally safe from light/sunlight). Each candle burns for 45 minutes. Vampires and other creatures vulnerable to light would KILL to possess these things.

[abe]

39.crocodile shoes! A pair of living shoes made of crocodile skin!

[taalismn]

40. Darkmind Zone---An area (approximately 100 ft in diameter) which seems perpetually shrouded in shadow. This isn't the insidious part of it, since ANY thinking creature(even creatures of shadow) who steps into the area of darkness will find itself unable to string together or complete any coherent thought. Bright ideas sputter out because the thinker finds themselves lacking in creative continuation. Simple instructions and observations are forgotten because the victim finds the thought process just too complicated. IQ is effectively reduced to 1 under the influence of the area.
Once out of the area, victims are instantly restored to normal thinking clarity.
It isn't clear what generates this area of mental darkness; it may be an intrusion of another universe with different physical properties that interferes with intelligent thought.

41. A thick hardcopy file folder containing Emperor Prosek's undisclosed financial statements. Anybody reading it thoroughly may find some interesting tidbits of info suggesting the Emperor has properties and business interests outside the Coalition States, including in the Tolkeen territories. A few locations inside the CS seem interesting in the amount of credits the Prosek family has personally invested in them(adventure hooks anybody?).

[Zer0 Kay]

How about 40 and 41, Taalismn? Even if abe isn't playing the game.

42. Emperor Prosek's cred chit. If you hack it and use it to add to your account... it drains it instead. Apparently the Emperor is in debt and you just paid some of it off.

43. A book entitled Dune. Apparently not of the series written by the Herberts. Opening the book reveals that it's pages seem to be made of sand paper, but as flexible as a regular novel page. It is only when the book is placed on the ground that the weirdness starts happening. Sand blows out of the book covering an area only 1 inches beyond the edge of the book the area is a fan that starts at the center of the spine with slants that cross a point at the corner of the page. Weird but no big deal right? On the second day it is 2 inches, 4 on the third 8 on the fourth. Doubling in size each day. By the 13th day it is the size of the smallest desert on Earth, Carcross in Canada (1 sq mi). Some time on the 30th day it exceeds the size of Antarctica (5,500,000 sq mi). Though there is no wind dunes form as if they are blown from the book.

[taalismn]

43. A book entitled Dune. Apparently not of the series written by the Herberts. Opening the book reveals that it's pages seem to be made of sand paper, but as flexible as a regular novel page. It is only when the book is placed on the ground that the weirdness starts happening. Sand blows out of the book covering an area only 1 inches beyond the edge of the book the area is a fan that starts at the center of the spine with slants that cross a point at the corner of the page. Weird but no big deal right? On the second day it is 2 inches, 4 on the third 8 on the fourth. Doubling in size each day. By the 13th day it is the size of the smallest desert on Earth, Carcross in Canada (1 sq mi). Some time on the 30th day it exceeds the size of Antarctica (5,500,000 sq mi). Though there is no wind dunes form as if they are blown from the book.

44. Spice Rack----A cabinet containing 2d4x10 vials of various spices, most of which the PCs have never heard of. While all of them can be consumed by humans and most other intelligent species, and many of them are quite tasty, there's a 10% chance per vial of the contents having some disconcerting effect, like causing faerie-food-like side effects, random hallucinations, outbursts of psychic ability, temporary physical transformations, or super-abilities(or the delusion that one has superpowers).

45. Garbage Truck---The PCs are almost run over by a large municipal garbage truck barreling down the trail. The drivers are a team of mutant bears(or substitute a larger number of mutant squirrels) who have 'jacked the truck from a nearby community. If pulled over, the mutant animals will offer to let the PCs return the truck to the nearby town(the authorities there will be quite happy to have the truck returned and may even throw them a small reward); all they want is to leave with the garbage to feed their families. If the PCs do some serious digging, though, it emerges that it's more than just a country-hick trash-hijack; the garbage is covering a load of more valuable goods looted from houses in the town, and the surprisingly sophisticated bandits are using the garbage as cover for their operations. If the PCs discover this and insist on stopping them, the seemingly good-natured, if desperate, bumpkins will haul out hidden weapons and attempt to mulch the PCs...or worse, the bandits may already have a number of their forest friends waiting in the woods around them to deal with any witnesses.

[Zer0 Kay]

46. A garbage truck. Oh look it's one of Elon Musk's Cybertrucks. Roll Initiative it has been upgraded with A.I.

47. Gundamit: A 60' tall giant robot appears in a flash before you it has white legs and arms and head with a blue torso with yellow and red trimming its arms are down by its sides but your busy wondering What the Frank and you notice it is falling toward you. Roll Dodge or take 1d100 SDC. Cool you've survived and now you have a giant robot. Nope it is a giant model. Wonder where it came from?

[taalismn]

46. A garbage truck. Oh look it's one of Elon Musk's Cybertrucks. Roll Initiative it has been upgraded with A.I.

47. Gundamit: A 60' tall giant robot appears in a flash before you it has white legs and arms and head with a blue torso with yellow and red trimming its arms are down by its sides but your busy wondering What the Frank and you notice it is falling toward you. Roll Dodge or take 1d100 SDC. Cool you've survived and now you have a giant robot. Nope it is a giant model. Wonder where it came from?

48. Gundamite--- A man in a red uniform, and 'coal scuttle' helmet with a Demi-mask(covering his upper face) approaches your party. He is armed with a laser sidearm, but also can use automatic rifles and handguns with proficiency. He can also use just about any robot he can get into with a 9th level of proficiency within 1d4 melees. He will also insist on having any robot he takes a shoe to be painted red. He is articulate, well-spoken, and very charismatic(MA of 25). There is a 01-50% chance he will regard the party as boon companions and offer to assist them in 'resisting tyranny', and a 51-00% chance that he will attack the PCs, calling them 'filthy inferior mud-dwelling terratoids' or 'mind blind fossils of human evolution'. This attitude changes weekly(roll again after a week if he's still around'. He refuses to remove his helmet and mask, but if somebody is able to get his helmet off, and the blond wig underneath it, his M.O.M. studs will be revealed. Yeah, he's a Crazy, with a focus on robot piloting and combat.

49. Caffeine Shots----A pack of six 'WIDERIPPINAWAKE!!!!!" caffeine shots, a brand concocted by Crazies. Each small container contains enough caffeine for ten cups of expresso, which will keep the average person up and jitteringly(+1 to initiative, but -10% to any physical task requiring fine control) awake for 5d6 hours before crashing for twice that duration. Not recommended for children, the elderly, pregnant women, anybody with heart conditions, anybody also drinking alcohol or on other stimulants, or anybody with a lick of commonsense.

[Zer0 Kay]

50. Cafe shots-- Can only happen if sitting down drinking in an establishment. As you raise your drinking vessel it disappears. A large portion of the establishment also dissapears a 10' diameter hole in the building appears in the walls to either side of the character. A beam of some sort must have gone through the building perpendicular to you. It miraculously missed everyone. Someone must have something against YOU drinking.

51. Ninja Easter Eggshell Smoke Bomb-- A set of five traditional eggshell grenades. When thrown at the ground they erupt in a thick smoke colored the same as the egg shell. The person who threw it disappears, they reappear safe, in a remote, unknown location, wearing:

Black - Black Leather lingerie for the opposite gender. Know the joke about if you went camping and you woke up and your butt hurt... well it does.

Blue - Blue Swimwear for the opposite gender, it and the wearer are water logged

Pink - Pretty Pink Princess outfit with glitter that sticks around for ever. Hey what is that sparkly piece right by your eye?

Yellow - Bob the Construction guy outfit your arms are sore and your covered and smell of saw dust.

Green - Trash man coveralls. The character smells as if they'd been working at a refuse center.

[taalismn]

52. Speedo of Super Speed---A pair of tight black male swimwear. Putting it on allows the wearer to run at supersonic speeds. The problem is, it will not work unless the Speedo is the ONLY thing the character is wearing.

53. Radar Gun----An electronic device for tracking and determining the speed of moving objects. It also seems to register objects in orbit or are effectively far enough away, even line of sight, that they cannot be easily seen. This may confuse anybody who is pointing it around and getting a welter of confusing signals from distant objects.

[Zer0 Kay]

54. Raider Gun every time this thing is fired a man the size of the barrel .3 inches tall runs out of the barrel he immediately begins to grow and reaches his full 6', 6' away from the gun's muzzle. He runs off in the direction he was "shot" and will Rape, Plunder and Pillage (FYI the Archaic meaning of "rape", which would be the one used in this archaic saying, means to seize and take away by force the word that would have been used for forced fornication would be ravish) the first building he comes into contact with. The man is lightly armed and armored by Rifts standards wearing an SDC gambison armor and carrying a sword and wood shield. The danger is in the numbers. The gun has a "Hollywood clip" a bottomless magazine so with enough time 100s or more men could be sent to raid a building.

55. A desk lamp- you don't know how, you don't know why but this lighting device uses a standard, human size, office desk as the lampshade? But the underside of the desk produces a light without having some sort of element.

[taalismn]

56. Desk Pen Set----Two pens in swivel-mounted holders. Touching the pens causes them to rise into the air and take dictation....but the problem is, the pens will reword what the speaker is telling them to write to produce the opposite effect; a love letter becomes an insult-laden diatribe about fat the letter recipient's hips are, a complaint note becomes a sniveling admission of personal error, a diary entry becomes a torrid fictional account of barely recognizable events, and a concise, clear, report will be rendered into incomprehensible gibberish and technicalese.

57. Office Chair---A nice, comfy leather-bound swivel office chair. Very comfy...In fact it's too comfy. Anybody sitting in it must make a roll versus magic or be susceptible to suggestion similar to a Hypnosis or Dominate spell. They'll sign practically anything put in front of them and will agree to virtually anything asked of them while sitting in the chair. Make another roll versus magic to pry yourself out of the chair, it's that comfy. The grail of office salespeople.

[Zer0 Kay]

58. The Spanish Inquisition!!!! After several seemingly non sequitur diatribes dealing with the assumed expectation of encountering the Spanish Inquisition you finally learn they are looking for their comfy chair. If durring the non sequitur the characters try to escape they are found and the loud announcement continues. If they wait till the end and answer the Inquisitions question. "That being said. Do you know where our comfy char is?" They will nod to each other in an uneasy manner as if they didnt expect any answer to come so easily and dash off.

59. A green and a red star fish are fighting. If the characters don't say anything another starfish on each side joins the fray. Their number keeps increasing until someone says some iteration of "It's Star Wars." Then they quickly disperse.

[taalismn]

60. A large fish flies out of nowhere and smacks one of the characters in the face. Though edible, the fish is not of a species known for flying or gliding, and if the PCs are walking in a desert, it becomes even more puzzling. Apparently some cosmic force decided to hit one of the PCs with a fish for the halibut.

61. Groaning---A loud and pained groaning is heard echoing all around the characters, as if something large is constipated, frustrated, or about to explode. The groaning peaks in four melees at earthquake window-rattling, sonar-blinding, subsonic intensity, before suddenly cutting off. Attempts to locate the source of groaning prove useless, though any psychics with empathy will express that they felt as if several million beings were feeling disgusted vexation.

[Zer0 Kay]

67. Doh 1d100, 1d20 pound balls of raw dough fall from the sky within 1d12 minutes in a radium 1d10 feet wide striking 1d8 characters in the:
Roll 1d6
1. Head
2. Chest
3. Right arm
4. Left arm
5. Left leg
6. Right leg
Doing 1d4 SDC
When they strike and deflate they make a doh sound.

68. You find a large spherical polyhedron it has 30 sides numbered 1-30. It is brand new... guess no one used it. If someone rolls it it does not stop unless it collides with a perpendicular plane.

[taalismn]

69. Perpendicular Plane---In this case, it appears to be a pre-Rifts jumbo-jet liner stuck flying parallel to the ground, with one wing partially stuck in the ground at a right angle. Anybody making the effort can climb up to the fuselage, pry open a hatch, and get inside. The aircraft is a megadamage structure, which is unusual, because aircraft of its type were not known to have been made of MDC materials. Inside, it looks fully furnished, but the cabins are empty, the cargo holds and cabinets hold nothing, the fuel tanks are empty, and the batteries are dead. Even though the aircraft seems to be intact, any attempt to power up the systems or put fuel into the tanks results in the instruments briefly registering full tanks/generator charges, but then goes null again, with no sign of the fuel or electrical charge, as if the aircraft were in seems out of stasis. In fact, it's very posture with regards to the ground, it should have snapped its spine long ago.
Any attempt to scavenge the aircraft for materials will cause the aircraft to suddenly sink into the ground and disappear. Anybody aboard it at the time will vanish with it and never be seen again.

70. Plane---A giant woodworking plane, roughly ten feet long and a quarter ton in weight. In the right-sized hands, it could easily shave the bark off oversized trees like Millennium Trees or Umdhlebi Trees with ease.

[Zer0 Kay]

71. Plank- A 2x4... it's in meters

72. BDU top- An old U.S. Military BDU blouse with all accouterments. If you put it on some skinny kid from nowhere jumps you and while slapping you as hard as he can he keeps yelling "stolen valor." No damage but after 1d10 minutes it does get annoying and makes prowl impossibleand all skill rolls are at -10%. As wimpy as this kid seems (judging by his strikes) he has incredible grip roll under a 25% subtracting your P.S. from the roll and adding 12 (his P.S.). If you succeed you peel the kid off; he somehow takes the blouse with him and disappears to wherever he came from.

[taalismn]

73. Stolen Valor---A large appaloosa horse, with horse blankets stitched with the word/name 'Valor' on it, is contently grazing in some tall grass off the PCs' path. A search of the area will reveal the dead body of a man In the tall grass with his skull caved in. The horse responds well to anybody gently taking its reins and leading it along, or offering it treats, but if anybody attempts to get on it, the horse will immediately show that it is a trained warhorse(-30% to riding skill attempts) and will bite and kick the offending party.
Within an hour of the encounter, a heavily-armed party of Native Americans come along looking for Valor. If anybody in the PCs' party shows signs of being beaten on by the horse, or is caught abusing the animal, they will be attacked by the horse's owner(with his friends joining in as needed). If Valor has been treated well and is returned to the Native Americans and they are showed the dead body, the grateful owner will thank the PCs for rescuing his horse, and may give them information about the area.

74. Unlucky Horseshoes----The PCs are suddenly bombarded by horseshoes that come sailing at low fast trajectories from off the path. Roll to dodge or get hit by 1d4 horseshoes, doing 1d4 points of damage. The bombardment lasts for 1d6 melees. Backtracing the path of the projectiles reveals a small party of supernaturally-strong and intoxicated d-bees having a sporting competition that's gotten out of hand. Upon seeing the PCs, they'll invite them to participate or at least witness their insanely overpowered yard sports. If the PCs complain or attack the d-bees for their negligence, they'll fight the PCs for real. Drunk or not, these powerhouses can punch, kick, and hammer throw the PCs around like ten pins.

[Rockwolf66]

75: A set of red hot horseshoes. Don't try to pick them up if you are not a burster or similar fire and heat resistant being. How did they end up out in the middle of nowhere and why are they still hot?

76: A pair of Running shoes. They feel so nice and airy and they put such a bounce to one's step.


(So where was the last full set of random items compiled? I think I may need to go back and compile the last few unless someone has done so.)

[taalismn]

77. A Pair of Running Shoes---What look like two sneakers run by the party at high speed(80 MPH). Using sensors or mystic senses detects nothing invisible wearing the shoes, Actually catching up and somehow stopping the shoes long enough to examine them, reveal them to be a pair of sophisticated robots acting in concert with each other to give the illusion of running as part of a single organism. If not let go and allowed to run free, the 'bots will self-destruct.

78. Running Water---A Water Elemental goes sloshing by the party. Unless they're Water Elementalists/Warlocks, anybody attempting to stop the Elemental will be deluged. The Elemental is on its way to the nearest body of water.

[Zer0 Kay]

79. A Body --- Removing the clothes you find that they are on a "man-shaped" water elemental. It is non-responsive and you can't figure out why it is still here in this shape.

80. A set of keys --- If you pick them up you and 1d4 of your companions start arguing over which of the 1d30 keys is who's each claiming 1d12 (even if it is more than the number of keys available) it isn't for 1d8 hours until you all realize at exactly the same moment that... you don't use keys... for anything, drop the set and continue on, changing the subject of conversation to something pertinent or entertaining.

[Zer0 Kay]

Somehow list 14 didn't start with the items that were left off the previous list due to misnumbering. So I'll add them after 80.
81 - Rey's Cycle
Looks like a giant version of your childhood ride (bicycle, tricycle, moped, whatever...cycle) but when you touch it in the process of marveling at it a overcybered Brodkil rounds the corner and starts yelling at you for touching his ride. 1d10 other's round the corner on their similar rides... and they're gunning for you.

Roll initiative

82 - Broadside---A wide (50+ ft wide)swathe of landscape next to the character group just vanishes in an area-of-effect detonation, missing the group by a matter of 1d4x10 yards, deafening them, and pelting them with thrown-up dirt. The killzone would appear to be the result of multiple cannon shots , or a barrage of projectiles from an unknown source. Lucky miss or ranging shots? Anybody want to stick around to find out?

83 - Side Orders---A table cloth with a tempting basket of food...side entrees, specifically(bread sticks, salad, fried potatoes, etc.), that practically screams psychically "eat me!". If seeing perfectly good food, well-presented, by the trail-side, in the middle of nowhere, doesn't just sound 'TRAP!' alarms in people's heads, you deserve what's coming next;
Roll for the following:

1 Faerie Food---Oh, it's fast food alright; anybody eating it will have a case of the 'runs' for the next 1d8 minutes. The faerie-folk, just out of sight, will be laughing their heads off.
2 Psychic Decoy---Anybody grabbing a bite to eat will discover the magic trap underneath....a Pitfall trap.
3 Alien Parasites---Cunning ploy to get inside a warm host. Think psionic tapeworms. You've been wormed.
4 Bloat Bioweapon---Once you eat, roll vs psionic attack or keep eating until you're bloated and hardly able to move(HALF all HtH bonuses) for 1d4 hours. 50% chance the trapsetters will be by to check on what they've caught.
5 Cholesterol Bomb---Same as above, only roll versus lethal poison for clogged arteries.
6 Weightwatcher Trap---Anybody giving in to temptation reaching for the oh so fattening food gets tazered, with FORTY THOUSAND VOLTS OF RAW NAKED POWER . That will teach you to stick to your diet.

84 - Broad's Hide
As you are innocently walking around a female with an extremely torn and burnt outfit falls from the sky (in through a window) landing on her butt facing away from you. The momentum sends her tumbling in your direction she comes to a stop right in front of you on her back with her feet over her head. Her eyes are closed and she just keeps saying 'itai'. Her short skirt has flipped up and her underwear are plainly visible. When she opens her eyes, even if you are looking away at the time she hastily jumps up yells "hentai" and slaps you. Take 1D6 MDC (if the PC would die take pitty and make it 1d4x10 SDC), you are sent into the air spinning. Inexplicably the slap is heard in orbit. She runs off red faced. Freaking gyaru dragons!

85 - Pre-Packaged set of Rifts Underwear--- Look like a set of normal underwear that just happen to be of the preferred type that the finder likes to wear. When the underwear is put on there is a 10% chance a rift will open up in them, 50% when within 20' of a leyline. The wearer will feel (1d4):

1- A burning sensation (no damage)
2- Like the fabric is VERY breathable
4- VERY wet (external evidence to the contrary)
5- Like your junk just got covered in warm mushy stuff

apparently it is a rift to the elemental planes

86 - A Pair of Shorts W/ A Dimensional Pocket In It: Roll a 1d10 on the following for the contents of the Pocket:

1 Nothing
2 Set of car keys to a pre-Rifts car(luxury model).
3 Woman's thong(leather or lace)
4 Set of credit cards(since expired, or, if you somehow manage to read them, overdrawn/canceled)
5 1d4 e-clips
6 Keys to the penthouse of a Marche Noir boss's penthouse apartment in the Relic
7 Rattlesnake in suspended animation. It comes back alive in 1d8 seconds after being pulled out of the pocket, and it's in a bad mood.
8 1d8 credits in spare change
9 Armed mousetrap. Take 1 SDC to the fingers when it trips.
10 Roll again on these lists

87 - A great tentacle demon
...Hentai?!?!?! Yes unfortunately you are correct. GM roll attack +5 to sodomize... no we know what they did, this thing is going for gomorrahmy . Player roll defense +10 orifice preservation instincts. If dodge succeeds demon sulks away. If dodge doesn't succeed you can't walk, or dispose of waste, or breathe properly for the next 1d12 months

[Zer0 Kay]

Come on guys only 13 more for a new list!!

[taalismn]

88. A Jar of Marinated Octopus Suction Cups----Perfectly edible, but go ahead, dare somebody in your party to eat them.

89. Can of Bare Spray-----A shot of this stuff dissolves artificial and natural fibers, doing 1d4x10 SDC to SDC materials such as spandex, nylon, leather, cotton, and wool, but not to kevlar, metal, ceramic, and MDC fabrics. Also removes hair(not permanently, fortunately). Enough left in the can for 12 applications.

[Zer0 Kay]

90. Can of Bare Spray --- Save vs. magic and psionics or tell the first person you see EVERYTHING. (e.g. "Let me start from the beginning... my mom and dad conceived me on 2/22/88 in Lazlo. I can remember my dad rudely waking me up one time by thunking me on the head, thankfully mom was between us and praying to god and I didn't receive any real damage. My favorite memory from that time was when my parents would read to me or play music. Then there came the time I had to move out and for the first time I saw intense light and felt cold and the freaking doctor spanked my backside and I cried...") If the magic save is made you can't recall things you shouldn't be because you couldn't see them. If the Psionic save is made you can't recall things other people were thinking. But you still blurt out your history.

91. Spear of taking --- The spear has a six foot wooden shaft and a floppy 3 foot long and 3 inches wide, rubber head that never seems to stand still. Every time the head moves it makes a wubba sound, due to the sound this item is also known by the monikers The Wubba, The Spear of Wubba Wubba, Wubba Wubba, The Wubbajack, The Wubbster, Wubbster's Dictionary, and No Death Yay, by Snusnu Aww . The spear can not be accurately thrown -10 to hit. The best use as a weapon is to use the shaft which does 1d6 SDC damage as a blunt weapon. If striking with the head as a blunt weapon it causes 1 SDC and inevitably strikes a second time as it wraps around the object with a "wubba" causing another point of SDC. If used to stab the head will shrink to the size of whatever orifice it strikes causing no damage. However roll on the following table to determine from what orifice it exits, then save vs. HF of D20 plus HF from list.

1-10 right nostril (HF 7 )
11-20 left nostril (HF 7 )
21-30 right ear (HF 4 )
31-20 left ear (HF 4 )
21-25 right eye tear duct (HF 8 )
26-30 left eye tear duct (HF 8 )
31-40 mouth (HF 6 )
41-65 bellybutton (HF 1)
66-70 reproductive (HF 9 )
71-80 cellular waste removal (HF 9 )
81-95 digestive waste removal (HF 9 )
95-100 pore (HF 5 ) (yes even though these are the most numerous it is the least likely)

The item never enters the orifice, so it is never felt except on the surface and it is the same when it exits you don't feel it coming out of the orifice you only feel its unexpected presence outside of the body. (e.g. if stabbed at the torso with a successful strike and a roll of 27 the head of the spear would shrink down, in girth, to the size of a pore and in concert extend out the left eye's tear duct quickly expanding to it's 3 foot long by 3 inch wide solid rubber tube. Causing absolutely no damage but with the sudden perceived violation, unexplainable physics and sudden inability to see out of one eye and to a very limited extend the constant sound wubba, wubba, wubba the HF is 8 plus a roll of D20) After witnessing the horror of this item good characters will refuse to use the weapon often opting to try to destroy the item which must be cast into the La Brea tarpit. Those of selfish alignments often will refuse to use it but won't often perform the quest required to destroy it. Evil characters, well they're jerks so...

[taalismn]

92. Spear-mint---A tin box of bright green gel lozenges. Eating one will allow the consumer to spit sharp projectiles like green toothpicks equal in number to their APMs for 1d4 melees(the minty fresh breath lasts for 4d6 minutes). Each mini-spear does 1d4 damage(SDC or MDC depending on the target), counts as a magic attack, and can be spit 10 ft + 1 ft per point of the person's P.S.. Use character P.P. for any bonuses to strike. The tin holds 3d6 lozenges

93. Crypto-Mint----A small USB flash-drive holding 6d6x10,000 credits in crypto-currency. It's worth a mint(or killing for) .

[Zer0 Kay]

94. Cryptozoological Mint--- A coin mint. There is a hopper for the raw material. A crucible, A mold that produces a continuous metal rod, A hydraulic blade that cuts rounds, A Press that fits 30 individual dies at a time and a basin to catch the coin. There is a standing chest with thousands of small drawers each drawer contains 30 of the same die. Each drawer has the silhouette depiction of a cryptozoological creature. Some of the drawers may be unopenable (up to the GM). Regardless of the metal put into the hopper it gets melted down in the crucible and what can be seen in glances through the machinery appears to be gold as it is cut there is glints of white just before it is shuffled into the press. When it comes out of the press it looks like silver, but its very light and brittle almost like plastic. It is COMPLETELY worthless UNLESS a die was used and a creatures likeness was stamped on it. If that is done either breaking it in ones hands or throwing it hard against a solid surface to break it will cause the creature who's likeness is upon the coin. Use stats from the books or the GM can make something up.

95. Kate Monster and Trekkie Monster walk by. Kate Monster begins explaining to Trekkie Monster what the internet is for.

[taalismn]

96. Trekkers----A group approaches the PCs. The new group is equal in number to them, and the same general composition of types of members(if the PCs have a cyborg, the oncoming group has a cyborg, likewise if the group has a monster, the newcomers also have a monster), but in some way they will also be different(they dress in the opposite colors, or the PCs' personalities have been swapped around, etc.). Unless fires upon first, the newcomers introduce themselves as adventurers, heading in the opposite direction of the PCs. If asked politely, they'll provide information of the path ahead/behind that they've traveled, in exchange for what the PCs can tell them about what they've been through. Of course, if the PCs lie, then the GM can have what the trekkers tell them to be lies too, or else conditions change ahead.
Once their business is finished, the trekkers will mosey on down the trail on there own business.

97. Trailer----A scene of activity suddenly pops up ahead of the PCs...01-30% Appears to be bandits armed with ancient weapons and vehicles, 31-60% some sort of giant monster, 81-90%, armed soldiers with modern/futuristic weapons, 91-00% couple making out. Depending on what is rolled up, the scene appears real, possibly threatening, then suddenly changes to another scene like a car case, a cocktail party, cartoon characters, mage waving a wand. This goes on for 2d4x10 seconds, then begins repeating itself.
The culprit is an ancient holographic projector, solar -powered and motion-triggered, showing trailers for shows or movies. The holo-projector could be salvaged(has a value of 2d4x1000 credits for being so damned tough) and reprogrammed.

[Zer0 Kay]

98. Trailers--- A loud explosion and a plume of smoke draw the characters to the scene of a battle everyone is using lasers as there is no noise or projections from the weapons, though some of the combatants are shouting pew pew. It seems to be a one sided battle with the side wearing armored suits sweeping across the battle field. But just as the battle seems to be drawing to an end A large "hover" tank on a blue pedestal is pushed onto the battlefield by people wearing blue body suits. The tank sweeps its turret and the armored troops fall to the ground. Then a horn sounds and someone yells "Cut, Scene, Take five." With that the guys in the blue body suits just walk off and the guys who are still standing walk off in the same direction but then all the bodies get up and take their entrails and extra limbs and sort them into a series of tubs and then also walk off in the same direction. They're all headed to some barely hidden trailers that you just now noticed. Apparently people still make movies...

99. Deadtechdev--- As your searching all of your tech devices just cease, not functioning, just being. Anything that isn't non-tech based organic just disappears so whole starships to bioengineered cotton clothes. Cyborgs to Eugenics Super Soldiers... Just gone.

[Zer0 Kay]

62. Oops I did it again--- You find Britney Spears with two of her copyright lawyers serving papers to Zer0 Kay. When he sees you he says something to the lawyers and points. The two men in black suits turn to look at you. Better run!

63. The Count--- You find Count VonCount "61 ahahah, 62 ahahah, 63 ahahah, 64 ahahah, 65 ahahah, 66 ahahah, 67 ahahah. 61 ahahah, 62 ahahah, 63 ahahah, 64 ahahah, 65 ahahah, 66 ahahah, 67 ahahah. 61 ahahah, 62 ahahah, 63 ahahah, 64 ahahah, 65 ahahah, 66 ahahah, 67 ahahah, The numbers of the day must be an array between 60 and 68. That array out there ahahah."

So... obviously I screwed up the count this time and we were missing 62-66, now were just missing 64-66 AND 100