Mis-Credited, Mis-Stated Quotes, Rifts Style!!!

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 12:11 pm

The Premise of this latest bit of madness from me is quite simple:

A]] Try to take a well-known Phrase or Quotation, whether from Literature, or Music, or Movies, or from, well....anywhere, but make it "fit" something in Rifts.

--OR--

B]] Twist that same well-known Phrase around to fit into Rifts.

--OR--

C]] Do anything in between.

My own examples follow below. Come up with some of your own, if you can.

HAVE FUN!!!

*************************************************************

"This (Fade)Town ain't big enough for the two of us."
-The Dweller Below, in a Showdown with Nxla, in The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Alien Intelligences)

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU DAMN DIRTY KITTANI APE!!!"

-Charlton H. Darkbrandon, latest Prisoner of Atlantis, upon finding out that he'll spend the rest of his life as a Female Kittani's Sex Slave

"All your Brains are belong to us."

-Killer Cyborg, Necromancer

"What we have here, is a Failure to communicate."

[i]-A.R.C.H.I.E. Three, gloating on the advantages he has over the rest of the denizens of Ritfs Earth with his very own, exclusive, Satellite Network

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster."

CS Operative Codename: 'DeadBoy,' Former CS Super Patriot and now Master Vampire

"I AM CORNHOLIO!!! I NEED P-PE FOR MY TIME HOLE!!!!"

-Cornholioprime, Temporal Mage, after eating just a little too much Sugar....

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 12:54 pm

Aequitas wrote:"You can have my L-20 Pulse Rifle when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!" Spoken just outside Chi-Town customs

Thank You, Charleston Heston!!!!!

Most recent President of the N.R.A. (Nonhuman Rights Association)

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 2:30 pm

"Do you know what happened to the last NTSET Agent that tried to test me???

I had his Bio-System Liver with Fava Beans and a nice Chianti....."

****Makes hissing noise *****

-Z0b, Anti-CS Tactics Genius and self-proclaimed Grandmaster, facing down Lt. Johnny "C.R.A.F.T." Quick, NTSET Operative

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 2:53 pm

Aequitas wrote:"Lets go down into that basement, and carve ourselves a (Splugorth) witch!"

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sat May 21, 2005 3:31 pm

"These blast points are to accurate for Simvan, only Coalition Deadboys are so precise."

Cyber-Knight speaking with his young apprentice

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 5:00 pm

Toc Rat wrote:"These blast points are to accurate for Simvan, only Coalition Deadboys are so precise."

Cyber-Knight speaking with his young apprentice

Took me a minute, but I got the "A New Hope" Reference....

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 5:10 pm

"I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine."

-One Cyber-Knight, commenting on another's Psi-Sword before facing off in Final Battle on the Fields of Tolkeen

Braden Campbell · Sat May 21, 2005 9:52 pm

"It was the best of the Time Before Rifts, it was the worst of the Time Before Rifts."

intro to "Traversing Our Modern World"

Necrite · Unread post by **Necrite** » Sat May 21, 2005 9:57 pm

Aequitas wrote:"You can have my L-20 Pulse Rifle when you pry it from my cold dead fingers!" Spoken just outside Chi-Town customs

"Your proposal is... acceptable" - CS guard, in response

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 10:01 pm

Braden, GMPhD wrote:"It was the best of the Time Before Rifts, it was the worst of the Time Before Rifts."

intro to "Traversing Our Modern World"

Thanks loads, Mr. Dickens!!!!

Guest · Unread post by **Guest** » Sat May 21, 2005 10:07 pm

Titles: In P.A. 105, war was beginning.
King Creed: What happen?
Warlord Scard: Somebody set us up the bomb.
Tolkeen Operator: We get signal!
King Creed: What!
Tolkeen Operator: Main screen turn on!
King Creed: It's you!!
Coalition High Command: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
King Creed: What you say!!
Coalition High Command: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha....
Tolkeen Operator: King Creed!!
King Creed: Take off every 'ZIG'!! You know what you doing. Move 'ZIG." For great justice.

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 10:17 pm

Kuseru Satsujin wrote:Titles: In P.A. 105, war was beginning.
King Creed: What happen?
Warlord Scard: Somebody set us up the bomb.
Tolkeen Operator: We get signal!
King Creed: What!
Tolkeen Operator: Main screen turn on!
King Creed: It's you!!
Coalition High Command: How are you gentlemen!! All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.
King Creed: What you say!!
Coalition High Command: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha....
Tolkeen Operator: King Creed!!
King Creed: Take off every 'ZIG'!! You know what you doing. Move 'ZIG." For great justice.

DAMN this is funny!!!

(Mainly because I know what Old School Video Game this is from!!!)

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 10:54 pm

All Floopers all the time wrote:"A Deadboy hung me from a hook once. Once."
(100 Geek Points for anyone who can name the movie this quote is paraphrased from).

"One more D-Bee, two more minutes."
(Terminator 2).

"Back off man, I'm a scientist."
(Ghostbusters).

Johhny Dangerously. Joe Piscopo.

Gimme!!!!

teulisch · Unread post by **teulisch** » Sat May 21, 2005 10:58 pm

To boldly go where no Shifter has gone before!

Listen up you primitive screwheads, this is my RAIL GUN!
'Shop Smart, Shop Northern Gun'
Vampire, werewolf, im the one with the silver ammo...

cornholioprime · Sat May 21, 2005 10:58 pm

All Floopers all the time wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:
All Floopers all the time wrote:"A Deadboy hung me from a hook once. Once."
(100 Geek Points for anyone who can name the movie this quote is paraphrased from).

"One more D-Bee, two more minutes."
(Terminator 2).

"Back off man, I'm a scientist."
(Ghostbusters).
Johhny Dangerously. Joe Piscopo.

Gimme!!!!

Wow, that was fast. You have your prize, sir.

YAY!!!!!

MrTwist · Unread post by **MrTwist** » Sat May 21, 2005 11:10 pm

"Hey, where the human women at?"
-Random D-bee trying to lead some Coalition soldiers into a trap

Kalinda · Unread post by **Kalinda** » Sat May 21, 2005 11:20 pm

cornholioprime wrote:
All Floopers all the time wrote:"A Deadboy hung me from a hook once. Once."
(100 Geek Points for anyone who can name the movie this quote is paraphrased from).

"One more D-Bee, two more minutes."
(Terminator 2).

"Back off man, I'm a scientist."
(Ghostbusters).
Johhny Dangerously. Joe Piscopo.

Gimme!!!!

Shoot! I knew that one!

Oh well...

From the same movie, same character.

"it's a Naruni Plasma Cartridge pistol. It shoots through schools..." :twisted:

MrTwist · Unread post by **MrTwist** » Sat May 21, 2005 11:23 pm

"This is fargin' war!"
-Emperor Prosek, just before the SoT.

Kalinda · Unread post by **Kalinda** » Sat May 21, 2005 11:30 pm

Fargin War!

Headline of Chi-town tribune, day after Prosek's announcement.

Kalinda · Unread post by **Kalinda** » Sat May 21, 2005 11:35 pm

All Floopers all the time wrote:Hmm...two people besides me who remember Johnny Dangerously. I guess that movie is less obscure than I thought.

It's probably one of my favorite comedys of all time. It's fargin hilarious.

Thinyser · Unread post by **Thinyser** » Sun May 22, 2005 12:23 am

"Your a Deadboy (Marine) you have to Improvise, Adapt, Overcome!

Name the movie and actor 1000 geek points!

It also fits as if you play or GM Rifts... you must Improvise (for rules not covered), Adapt (the rules that you don't like), And Overcome (everyone's b!+(hing about the lack of cohereent well organized rules)!

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 12:34 am

MrTwist wrote:"Hey, where the human women at?"
-Random D-bee trying to lead some Coalition soldiers into a trap

What would we call THIS Movie??

Blazing Glitttermount Saddles?!?!?

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 12:35 am

MrTwist wrote:"This is fargin' war!"
-Emperor Prosek, just before the SoT.

Emperor Prosek: "...And when we get to Tolkeen, I wanna tear down THAT fargin' Wall, and THAT fargin' Wall, and THAT......."

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 12:37 am

eric.cline wrote:
Thinyser wrote:"Your a Deadboy (Marine) you have to Improvise, Adapt, Overcome!

Name the movie and actor 1000 geek points!

It also fits as if you play or GM Rifts... you must Improvise (for rules not covered), Adapt (the rules that you don't like), And Overcome (everyone's b!+(hing about the lack of cohereent well organized rules)!

Clint Eastwood as Gunnery Sgt. Tom 'Gunny' Highway in
"Heartbreak Ridge"

Good Sir, as a former Marine, I am ashamed to have EVER liked Clint Eastwood after that horrid movie!!!"

Thinyser · Unread post by **Thinyser** » Sun May 22, 2005 12:40 am

eric.cline wrote:
Thinyser wrote:"Your a Deadboy (Marine) you have to Improvise, Adapt, Overcome!

Name the movie and actor 1000 geek points!

It also fits as if you play or GM Rifts... you must Improvise (for rules not covered), Adapt (the rules that you don't like), And Overcome (everyone's b!+(hing about the lack of cohereent well organized rules)!

Clint Eastwood as Gunnery Sgt. Tom 'Gunny' Highway in
"Heartbreak Ridge"

Bravo

Much faster than I expected :-D

I Award You an EXTRA 2000 geek points for knowing his first name as well as the characters nickname

Here is your 3000 geek points Sir...Wear it with Pride.

Comrade Corsarius · Sun May 22, 2005 1:57 am

"I love the smell of plasma in the morning"
General Drogue, after the first assault on Tolkeen

"I find your lack of faith.... disturbing"
Dunscon to Lady Prosek, upon her first interrogation

"O, tis better far to live and die, under the brave black flag I fly, than play a sanctimonious part with a Pirate's head and a Pirate's heart!"
Poetry, written by Queen Ilia of Queenstown Harbour

"Now is the hour of our discontent, made glorious summer by this... sun of dweomer..."
Dunscon, again, raving at another Dweomer victory repelling the CS from the magic zone

"Of all the chop shops in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into mine"
cyber-doc upon seeing Juicer Donna Doom (from JU) stride in to ask about a refund

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
Prosek's response to Lady Prosek's concerns for the welfare of Tolkeen civilians

"We don't kill D-bees because they're not cute. We kill D-bees because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering – these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But killing D-bees..– these are what we stay alive for"
General Jericho Holmes at the gates of Tolkeen

CS Reporter to trooper in a Deaths Head transport: "So why do you guys sit on your helmets?"
Trooper "So we don't get our balls blown off"
unnamed transport flying jet pack troops over Tolkeen

"One day the war will be over. And I hope that the people that use this bridge in years to come will remember how it was built and who built it. Not a gang of slaves, but soldiers, Coalition soldiers, Clipton, even in captivity"
CS Major Guiness at a Tolkeen forced-labour camp

"We're gonna need a bigger boat"
Nemo-2 upon seeing the Lord Of The Deep for the first time

"Ah come on, Julian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood"
Juicer 'j-rock' trying to convince Julian the First to join the CS against tolkeen

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 2:00 am

Comrade Corsarius wrote:"I love the smell of plasma in the morning"
General Drogue, after the first assault on Tolkeen

"I find your lack of faith.... disturbing"
Dunscon to Lady Prosek, upon her first interrogation

"O, tis better far to live and die, under the brave black flag I fly, than play a sanctimonious part with a Pirate's head and a Pirate's heart!"
Poetry, written by Queen Ilia of Queenstown Harbour

"Now is the hour of our discontent, made glorious summer by this... sun of dweomer..."
Dunscon, again, raving at another Dweomer victory repelling the CS from the magic zone

"Of all the chop shops in all the towns in all the world, she had to walk into mine"
cyber-doc upon seeing Juicer Donna Doom (from JU) stride in to ask about a refund

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"
Prosek's response to Lady Prosek's concerns for the welfare of Tolkeen civilians

"We don't kill D-bees because they're not cute. We kill D-bees because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering – these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But killing D-bees..– these are what we stay alive for"
General Jericho Holmes at the gates of Tolkeen

CS Reporter to trooper in a Deaths Head transport: "So why do you guys sit on your helmets?"
Trooper "So we don't get our balls blown off"
unnamed transport flying jet pack troops over Tolkeen

"One day the war will be over. And I hope that the people that use this bridge in years to come will remember how it was built and who built it. Not a gang of slaves, but soldiers, Coalition soldiers, Clipton, even in captivity"
CS Major Guiness at a Tolkeen forced-labour camp

"We're gonna need a bigger boat"
Nemo-2 upon seeing the Lord Of The Deep for the first time

"Ah come on, Julian, it's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? 'Cause I was thinkin', it really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head, either. 'Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood"
Juicer 'j-rock' trying to convince Julian the First to join the CS against tolkeen

The best one of the Bunch!

Kalinda · Unread post by **Kalinda** » Sun May 22, 2005 4:32 am

"how can you shoot D-bee women and children?"

"Easy, you just don't lead them as much!"

"Oh, OK. Thanks for the tip!"

A CS grunt and a Gunner on a transport during the SoT.

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 2:31 pm

Misfit KotLD wrote:Deadboys? We don't need no stinking deadboys!

But seeing as this is a naruni plasma cartrige pistol and it'll melt your head clean off, you have to ask yourself one thing. Do I feel lucky?

Well, do you, Punk???

DO you??

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 4:21 pm

"Go into the Light. There is Peace, and Serenity.......in the Light....."

-Unnamed Poltergeist at the Azlum Asylum

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun May 22, 2005 5:41 pm

"When someone asks you if you're a god you say YES!

Veteran Deadboy to the surviving recruit after their platoon was attacked by a demi-god.

"Close up formation"

Lead Coalition SAMAS pilot to rest of squadron.

Comrade Corsarius · Sun May 22, 2005 6:06 pm

"Lock air-foils in attack position"
SAMAS leader to his flight before a low-level attack run

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Sun May 22, 2005 6:16 pm

"Stay on target!"

Aircastle squadron leader to remaining aircraft after one went down to enemy fire

Braden Campbell · Sun May 22, 2005 6:27 pm

"I know not with what weapons the Third World War will be fought. But the Fourth World War will be fought by Splugorthian biowizardry and tatoomagic, with a liberal smattering of giant robots and mutant dogs."

-Albert Einstien

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Sun May 22, 2005 8:54 pm

"I trusted them to fix it...It's not my fault!!!"
any chief engineer, any army, anywhere[/i]

MrTwist · Unread post by **MrTwist** » Sun May 22, 2005 9:00 pm

Obscure? I'll give you obscure.

Mr. Vandemaar: Best way to scare humans - creep up behind them, put your hand around their human necks and squeeze till they stop moving. That scares the stuffing out of them.
-A d-bee talking to other d-bees.

Guest · Unread post by **Guest** » Sun May 22, 2005 9:17 pm

Just for the obscurity of it:

Meet me at the Cafe Freidrichstrasa. -Erin Tarn to Victor Lazlo

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 10:58 pm

"The Ability to destroy Planets is insignificant next to the Power of the Forge."

-Sir Anakin the Angry, Fallen Cosmo-Knight

"I'll be back."

-Apepi the Dragon, moments before meeting his (latest) end at the barrel of a Zentraedi Synchro-Cannon

"Oh, Doctor, Doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning??"

-Unnamed, delirious Secondary Vampire, singing a Pre-Rifts Song from the 80s, after days of Doc Reid's "tender" mimistrations

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 10:59 pm

Braden, GMPhD wrote:"I know not with what weapons the Third World War will be fought. But the Fourth World War will be fought by Splugorthian biowizardry and tatoomagic, with a liberal smattering of giant robots and mutant dogs."

-Albert Einstien

Pretty damn good..... :lol:

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Sun May 22, 2005 11:35 pm

My God...It's full of Stars!
Andor Zane, Turbo-Jock; moments after finding "The Forge". Location- Unknown

cornholioprime · Sun May 22, 2005 11:49 pm

DhAkael wrote:My God...It's full of Stars!
Andor Zane, Turbo-Jock; moments after finding "The Forge". Location- Unknown

I was gonna use that one for some Temporal Wizard in a Rift but you beat me to it!!!

cornholioprime · Mon May 23, 2005 12:00 am

"Tha's Okay."

"Tha's Okay."

"Joo People need me...so Joo can look around and say 'There goes the bad Guy' ."

-Alistair "Scarface" Dunscon, after one mflagon of Dwarven Ale too many, addressing the Lords of Magic

Tinker Dragoon · Mon May 23, 2005 12:23 am

cornholioprime wrote:
DhAkael wrote:My God...It's full of Stars!
Andor Zane, Turbo-Jock; moments after finding "The Forge". Location- Unknown
I was gonna use that one for some Temporal Wizard in a Rift but you beat me to it!!!

I would have attributed it to a D-Shifter's prom date, but I wasn't sure if Chaos Earth references were applicable. :bandit:

Blight · Unread post by **Blight** » Mon May 23, 2005 1:21 am

Picture a seen with 2 cyberknights on the side of the road, and in the woods there is female Bear man and a lonely prospector. Insert quotes from Super Troopers. :shock:

Nekira Sudacne · Mon May 23, 2005 6:09 pm

cornholioprime wrote:"The Ability to destroy Planets is insignificant next to the Power of the Forge."

-Sir Anakin the Angry, Fallen Cosmo-Knight

"I'll be back."

-Apepi the Dragon, moments before meeting his (latest) end at the barrel of a Zentraedi Synchro-Cannon

"Oh, Doctor, Doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning??"

-Unnamed, delirious Secondary Vampire, singing a Pre-Rifts Song from the 80s, after days of Doc Reid's "tender" mimistrations

both are pretty good :ok:

though the Zentradi never had Syncro Cannons. that's an REF development.

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Mon May 23, 2005 6:20 pm

"This I command!"

Emperor Prosek, following many of his speeches

"Dude, where's my hovercar?"

Attributed to many a drunken person the morning after

cornholioprime · Tue May 24, 2005 12:11 am

Toc Rat wrote:"This I command!"

Emperor Prosek, following many of his speeches

"Dude, where's my hovercar?"

Attributed to many a drunken person the morning after

So, what you're trying to say is that Emperor Prosek is REALLY the combination of the DNA of all the World's greatest Conquerors?!?!?

cornholioprime · Tue May 24, 2005 12:15 am

"Ev'ry little Thing she does is Magic

Ev'ry Thing she do just turn me on

Even though my life before was tragic

Now I know my Love for her goes on...."

-Victor von Doom III, Adventurer and would-be Megaversal Dominator, about to find out in the worst way that the "she" that he is singing a Pre Rifts 80s tune about is actually a Changeling that identifies with the Male Gender.....

J/K

:fool:

Toc Rat · Unread post by **Toc Rat** » Tue May 24, 2005 12:32 am

cornholioprime wrote:
Toc Rat wrote:"This I command!"

Emperor Prosek, following many of his speeches

"Dude, where's my hovercar?"

Attributed to many a drunken person the morning after
So, what you're trying to say is that Emperor Prosek is REALLY the combination of the DNA of all the World's greatest Conquerors?!?!?

Nope, he's actually the little bit that dribbled down the leg... :shock:

Kalinda · Unread post by **Kalinda** » Tue May 24, 2005 12:44 am

"I remember Tolkeen. You wore blue, the Dead boys wore black." Rick, bar owner in Lazlo.