Submissions to Kevin...that didn't "make the grade"

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cornholioprime
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Submissions to Kevin...that didn't "make the grade"

Unread post by cornholioprime »

In the latest Fun Scenario, you are Kevin Siembieda Himself, perusing the latest in a never-ending line of Reader and Rifter Submissions.

Problem is, the Ideas sent to you just plain SUCK!!!!

Tell us YOUR Ideas of potential Rifts Submissions...that should never see the light of day.....

I'll start it off.


***Caffeine Juicers***
-they exist in Real Life and are therefore not really suitable for Fantasy RPGs. I should know: I'm one of them....

***Flooper Power Armor***
-uh...........no.

***Shifter Spell: Summon CS-Trained Kill Hound***

-Unfortunately, the Creature was NOT under the Shifter's control once summoned.....

***Lesser, Greater, and Greatest Rune Toilet Paper***
-Do I really have to elaborate on the potential dangers of completely indestructible TP??? And you don't wanna know details of how a Soul Drinking Attack might occur in this particular instance.... :eek:
The Kevinomicon, Book of Siembieda 3:16.

16 Blessed art Thou above all others, O COALITION STATES, beloved of Kevin;

17 For Thou art allowed to do Evil without Limit, nor do thy Enemies retaliate.

18 Thy Military be run by Fools and Dotards.

19 Yet thy Nation suffers not. Praise be unto Him that protects thee from all harm!!
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Unread post by MrTwist »

"Pimp My Power Armor"-submission for a recurring Rifter article

"Why My Character Kicks Ass"-submission for Rifter

"Zen And The Art Of Inserting Fusion Blocks In Orifices"-submission for Rifter

"Erin Tarn Swimsuit Calendar"-submission for artwork to be included somewhere

"My House"-300page submission for a World Book

"Conversion Book 4: Porn Stars"-submission for new conversion book with stats and special abilities of major porn stars

"Power Creep"-350 page submission for a sourcebook with all kinds of weapons that are ridiculously unbalancing for any campaign.

"No, Really, My Character Is Freakin' Awesome!"-submission for Rifter article

"Geekworld"-submission for Dimension book, set in a world where computer nerds and RPG geeks are considered the pinnacle of sexiness in the world. Written entirely in 733|.

"How To Kill Ninjas With Common Household Items"-submission for the Rifter.

"Spatula City"-submission for a Heroes Unlimited book

"Mechanoid Killing Kitty"-submission for artwork

"Land Of Missing Socks"-submission for Dimension Book

"Doom Book"-submission for book that contains Doom's interpretations of everything

"Rifts Gaming Session Drinking Game"-submission for Rifter

"Proper Way To Smack A D20 Enthusiast You Just Met At A Convention"-submission for Rifter

"Blind Warrior Women Gone Wild"-artwork

"Fred Hembeck Destroys The Megaverse"-comic submission for Rifter

"My Character; Badass, Lover, Munchkin"-submission for Rifter
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Unread post by dark brandon »

Rifts Monster: MDC Mosquitos.

This thing: http://boingboing.net/2004/03/20/gigant ... c_pil.html

RIFTS, new England: Featuring George Washington and Abe Lincon and their terrible truth. They are AI.

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Rifts: Average size of male parts throught the megaverse.
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Unread post by Toc Rat »

Health and Hygene in Rifts: Vibro-Toothbrushs, E-clip powered! TW toilets with mini-rifts opening with every flush! No more clogs!
Toc Rat: The Col. wants us to install what in his tank?!
Col.'s Driver: A cigarette lighter so he can plug in his cellphone charger.
Toc Rat: :frust:

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An excellent insight that hits the nail on the head with a rune-hammer.

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Unread post by NMI »

Toc Rat wrote:Health and Hygene in Rifts: Vibro-Toothbrushs, E-clip powered! TW toilets with mini-rifts opening with every flush! No more clogs!
Leading straight to Garbage World!!!
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cornholioprime
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Unread post by cornholioprime »

gadrin wrote:MDC Condoms -- are the CS behind this ? upcoming Rifter article

Supernatural PS and Slingshots -- upcoming Rifter article

False Atlanteans 120 pgs, by Carl Gleba, based on the guy from Fantasy Island and the Gene Splicers. Free set of temporary ink-tats for you and your friends!

Erin Tarn's Family Values: an Interview with Tommy & Tammy Tarn, 226 pgs by CJ Carella, illustrated by Perez

Queer Eye for the CS Guy -- how Joe Prosek came to love Dee-Bees, 145 pgs by Walt Smith, cover by John Z.

The Brady Bunch Makes a Pact -- here's the story of an extra nipple... 300 pages by Carl Gleba, illustrated by Vincent Van Gogh

Muppet Town and Muppet Ops -- Nobody crosses Kermit Amici, Nobody!, 125 and 165 pages, by Carmen Bellaire, illustrated by Perez
Actually, Gadrin, these are DAMNED funny.

If KS ever makes another April Fools Day Rifter, he should really give a look-see to thse Ideas that you wrote up.

Really.
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16 Blessed art Thou above all others, O COALITION STATES, beloved of Kevin;

17 For Thou art allowed to do Evil without Limit, nor do thy Enemies retaliate.

18 Thy Military be run by Fools and Dotards.

19 Yet thy Nation suffers not. Praise be unto Him that protects thee from all harm!!
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cornholioprime
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Unread post by cornholioprime »

MrTwist wrote:"Pimp My Power Armor"-submission for a recurring Rifter article

"Why My Character Kicks Ass"-submission for Rifter

"Zen And The Art Of Inserting Fusion Blocks In Orifices"-submission for Rifter

"Erin Tarn Swimsuit Calendar"-submission for artwork to be included somewhere

"My House"-300page submission for a World Book

"Conversion Book 4: Porn Stars"-submission for new conversion book with stats and special abilities of major porn stars

"Power Creep"-350 page submission for a sourcebook with all kinds of weapons that are ridiculously unbalancing for any campaign.

"No, Really, My Character Is Freakin' Awesome!"-submission for Rifter article

"Geekworld"-submission for Dimension book, set in a world where computer nerds and RPG geeks are considered the pinnacle of sexiness in the world. Written entirely in 733|.

"How To Kill Ninjas With Common Household Items"-submission for the Rifter.

"Spatula City"-submission for a Heroes Unlimited book

"Mechanoid Killing Kitty"-submission for artwork

"Land Of Missing Socks"-submission for Dimension Book

"Doom Book"-submission for book that contains Doom's interpretations of everything

"Rifts Gaming Session Drinking Game"-submission for Rifter

"Proper Way To Smack A D20 Enthusiast You Just Met At A Convention"-submission for Rifter

"Blind Warrior Women Gone Wild"-artwork

"Fred Hembeck Destroys The Megaverse"-comic submission for Rifter

"My Character; Badass, Lover, Munchkin"-submission for Rifter
I know where you got Spatula City from......nyah nyah

(I'm Sy Sperling. I liked Spatula City so much...I bought the Company!!!).

Does this ring a bell. MrTwist??
The Kevinomicon, Book of Siembieda 3:16.

16 Blessed art Thou above all others, O COALITION STATES, beloved of Kevin;

17 For Thou art allowed to do Evil without Limit, nor do thy Enemies retaliate.

18 Thy Military be run by Fools and Dotards.

19 Yet thy Nation suffers not. Praise be unto Him that protects thee from all harm!!
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Unread post by Jefffar »

darkbrandon wrote:Rifts Monster: MDC Mosquitos.



Isn't that allready in a book somewhere (I want to say CS Navy or Rifts Canada)
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Unread post by Kalinda »

Jefffar wrote:
darkbrandon wrote:Rifts Monster: MDC Mosquitos.



Isn't that allready in a book somewhere (I want to say CS Navy or Rifts Canada)


I believe it is. I can't recall which book, but I remember a picture of a guy being pinned by a man sized skeeter...
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Kalinda wrote:
Jefffar wrote:
darkbrandon wrote:Rifts Monster: MDC Mosquitos.



Isn't that allready in a book somewhere (I want to say CS Navy or Rifts Canada)


I believe it is. I can't recall which book, but I remember a picture of a guy being pinned by a man sized skeeter...


Probably Rifts: Canada...beside the entry on MDC Blackflies.... :eek:
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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Unread post by Braden Campbell »

Rifts World Book 24: Hollow Earth

The denizens of the underworld wage war on the surface dwellers! The nations of man and demon alike respond in kind! 350 pages of pure, uncut adventure featuring...

- The Mole People RCC; diabolic servants of the Mole King who rules the Hollow Earth!

- Giant openings at the poles; the surface world races to invade the Hollow Earth.

- Search for the Hollow Earth throught the ages, including the Nazis and Jules Verne.

- Earth Titan RCC; like the Sea Titan, but with Earth!

-plus more stone magic because we know it gets used so often, giant vehicles like the Big Drill, and the mysterious arms dealers known only as Hard Core. (Core, get it? Like Earth's core?)

Compatible with the entire Palladium MegaVerse, provided your very good at coming up with house rules.
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If that doesn't prompt you to buy it, I don't know what else I can say.
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Misfit KotLD wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:I know where you got Spatula City from......nyah nyah

(I'm Sy Sperling. I liked Spatula City so much...I bought the Company!!!).

Does this ring a bell. MrTwist??


UHF, the best movie ever.


Welcome to the Wheel of Fish!!!!!
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

Rimmerdal wrote:
Misfit KotLD wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:I know where you got Spatula City from......nyah nyah

(I'm Sy Sperling. I liked Spatula City so much...I bought the Company!!!).

Does this ring a bell. MrTwist??


UHF, the best movie ever.


Welcome to the Wheel of Fish!!!!!


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Unread post by Hystrix »

Rimmerdal wrote:
Kalinda wrote:
Jefffar wrote:
darkbrandon wrote:Rifts Monster: MDC Mosquitos.



Isn't that allready in a book somewhere (I want to say CS Navy or Rifts Canada)


I believe it is. I can't recall which book, but I remember a picture of a guy being pinned by a man sized skeeter...


Probably Rifts: Canada...beside the entry on MDC Blackflies.... :eek:


It's CS Navy. They are called Giant Water Striders. Ranks right up there with Giant Leeches (also in CS Navy)...
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Hystrix wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:
Kalinda wrote:
Jefffar wrote:
darkbrandon wrote:Rifts Monster: MDC Mosquitos.



Isn't that allready in a book somewhere (I want to say CS Navy or Rifts Canada)


I believe it is. I can't recall which book, but I remember a picture of a guy being pinned by a man sized skeeter...


Probably Rifts: Canada...beside the entry on MDC Blackflies.... :eek:


It's CS Navy. They are called Giant Water Striders. Ranks right up there with Giant Leeches (also in CS Navy)...


Man is this game starting to sound like another game....what's next? Invisible Stalkers and Bigby's hairy palm? :lol:
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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Unread post by Jesterzzn »

Girls Gone Wild: Vampire Beach Addition! See hot coeds sucking blood and getting freaky! Raw meaty in your face action! The hottest Wild Vampires bloodlusting by the Vampire Beach moonlight! Hot Girl on Girl blood orgy action!



30 day money back guarantee. Order GGW: Vampire Beach
Addition and your credit card will automatically be billed every month
when we send a new GGW video that has the same recycled footage that
we used the last ten times. Cancel at anytime, except by anytime
we mean never. Not legal in the CS of Chi Town. CS of Lone Star add
16.99% sales tax.
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Re: Submissions to Kevin...that didn't "make the grade&

Unread post by Thinyser »

cornholioprime wrote:
*** Rune Toilet Paper***
-Do I really have to elaborate on the potential dangers of completely indestructible TP??? And you don't wanna know details of how a Soul Drinking Attack might occur in this particular instance.... :eek:


actually this prolly does exsist as I'm sure there are many an adventurer that carries a piece of diabolist's rune paper and will wash it off after each *ahem* use...its better than leaves or pinecones :eek:

"I'm cornholioprime... I need Rune TP for my bung hole"
:lol:
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Unread post by dark brandon »

Jesterzzn wrote:Girls Gone Wild: Vampire Beach Addition! See hot coeds sucking blood and getting freaky! Raw meaty in your face action! The hottest Wild Vampires bloodlusting by the Vampire Beach moonlight! Hot Girl on Girl blood orgy action!


I don't see why this was rejected. I'd totally buy this one.
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Unread post by jedi078 »

I guess you didn't read the fine print at the bottom of the post (before the sig).
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Unread post by dark brandon »

jedi078 wrote:I guess you didn't read the fine print at the bottom of the post (before the sig).


I did, but I didn't care. To see hot vampire goth chicks in blood orgy baths? Yeah, I'd buy that for a dollar!
"We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine And the machine is bleeding to death The sun has fallen down And the billboards are all leering And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles ...I open up my wallet And it's full of blood "~~Godspeed you black emperor.
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

darkbrandon wrote:
jedi078 wrote:I guess you didn't read the fine print at the bottom of the post (before the sig).


I did, but I didn't care. To see hot vampire goth chicks in blood orgy baths? Yeah, I'd buy that for a dollar!


Hey, as long they don't come to my town...I'd pay a buck.
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Misfit KotLD wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:
darkbrandon wrote:
jedi078 wrote:I guess you didn't read the fine print at the bottom of the post (before the sig).


I did, but I didn't care. To see hot vampire goth chicks in blood orgy baths? Yeah, I'd buy that for a dollar!


Hey, as long they don't come to my town...I'd pay a buck.


Besides, I'm using his credit card. :D


then we'd be usingf Darkbrandon's...You think I'm gonna give my address to a bunch of Vamp chicks?

I can think of much worse ways to to die....but vamp chicks are definitley not my first pick....
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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Unread post by dark brandon »

Misfit KotLD wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:then we'd be usingf Darkbrandon's...You think I'm gonna give my address to a bunch of Vamp chicks?

I can think of much worse ways to to die....but vamp chicks are definitley not my first pick....


Dude, I'm a zombie. This is right up my alley.


And I'm goth, it's EXACTLY how I want to die!!!111111
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Unread post by dark brandon »

Misfit KotLD wrote:Cool, he isn't even ***** I used his credit card. Today is a good day for Brandon to die.


I'm goth, I'm always dieing...but never dead.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go write some more bad poetry about life and how meaningless it is...and how I wish I could die by vampire's hands.
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Unread post by cornholioprime »

Rimmerdal wrote:
Hystrix wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:
Kalinda wrote:
Jefffar wrote:
darkbrandon wrote:Rifts Monster: MDC Mosquitos.



Isn't that allready in a book somewhere (I want to say CS Navy or Rifts Canada)


I believe it is. I can't recall which book, but I remember a picture of a guy being pinned by a man sized skeeter...


Probably Rifts: Canada...beside the entry on MDC Blackflies.... :eek:


It's CS Navy. They are called Giant Water Striders. Ranks right up there with Giant Leeches (also in CS Navy)...


Man is this game starting to sound like another game....what's next? Invisible Stalkers and Bigby's hairy palm? :lol:
**wipes tears from eyes**

Don't you DARE tell us why Bigby's Palm IS hairy in the first place....and its it Clenching or Crushing Damage??

Under the circumstances, I'd rather be crushed to death than clenched by a big, hairy palm and have to live the experience down....

***Cornholioprime spits out stray hair caught his between teeth after attack...in front of ALL of his adventuring buddies***
The Kevinomicon, Book of Siembieda 3:16.

16 Blessed art Thou above all others, O COALITION STATES, beloved of Kevin;

17 For Thou art allowed to do Evil without Limit, nor do thy Enemies retaliate.

18 Thy Military be run by Fools and Dotards.

19 Yet thy Nation suffers not. Praise be unto Him that protects thee from all harm!!
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Re: Submissions to Kevin...that didn't "make the grade&

Unread post by cornholioprime »

Thinyser wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:
*** Rune Toilet Paper***
-Do I really have to elaborate on the potential dangers of completely indestructible TP??? And you don't wanna know details of how a Soul Drinking Attack might occur in this particular instance.... :eek:


actually this prolly does exsist as I'm sure there are many an adventurer that carries a piece of diabolist's rune paper and will wash it off after each *ahem* use...its better than leaves or pinecones :eek:

"I'm cornholioprime... I need Rune TP for my bung hole"
:lol:
Except that there are Runes of Permanency on those sheets. They can't be cleaned.....

:eek: :eek: :eek: :oops: :oops: :oops: :eek: :eek: :eek:
The Kevinomicon, Book of Siembieda 3:16.

16 Blessed art Thou above all others, O COALITION STATES, beloved of Kevin;

17 For Thou art allowed to do Evil without Limit, nor do thy Enemies retaliate.

18 Thy Military be run by Fools and Dotards.

19 Yet thy Nation suffers not. Praise be unto Him that protects thee from all harm!!
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Re: Submissions to Kevin...that didn't "make the grade&

Unread post by Killer Cyborg »

cornholioprime wrote:
Thinyser wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:
*** Rune Toilet Paper***
-Do I really have to elaborate on the potential dangers of completely indestructible TP??? And you don't wanna know details of how a Soul Drinking Attack might occur in this particular instance.... :eek:


actually this prolly does exsist as I'm sure there are many an adventurer that carries a piece of diabolist's rune paper and will wash it off after each *ahem* use...its better than leaves or pinecones :eek:

"I'm cornholioprime... I need Rune TP for my bung hole"
:lol:
Except that there are Runes of Permanency on those sheets. They can't be cleaned.....

:eek: :eek: :eek: :oops: :oops: :oops: :eek: :eek: :eek:


And you can't tear them on the perforation lines either...

Edit:
(Actually, that would be a pretty funny joke for a diabolist to play on somebody... Or a mage with a specialized version of Ironwood that affects paper...)
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cornholioprime
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Well, mostly.....
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Unread post by cornholioprime »

Yet another submission turned down:

Spell: Godlike Bodily Function Control.

-Ideal for such Occupations like Assassins and Snipers who sometimes have to wait in one spot for hours or even days to "catch" elusive or well-protected Quarry, but cannot get to proper facilities and cannot move without alerting others to their presence, this 4th level Invocation seemed like a godsend; however, the side effects of the Spell were soon made disatrously clear:

As living things, the Bowels and Bladder (the "recipients" of the Spell) each get to save versus Magic at +2.

If either of the Body parts in question makes the save, the Caster will "suffer" the OPPOSITE of the intended Effect.

Double the 'Damage.'**

Double the 'Duration.'

And you WILL suffer a penalty to your Prowl Rolls.

Ye Gods, will you suffer a Penalty to your Prowl Rolls, especially in a Sealed Bodysuit/Light Armor!!


**4D6 S.D.C. Damage to the Underpants, Outerwear, and the Caster himself; damage to the Caster, as well as all Spell Effects, are tripled if constipated at the time; quadrupled if near a Ley Line Nexus!!!
The Kevinomicon, Book of Siembieda 3:16.

16 Blessed art Thou above all others, O COALITION STATES, beloved of Kevin;

17 For Thou art allowed to do Evil without Limit, nor do thy Enemies retaliate.

18 Thy Military be run by Fools and Dotards.

19 Yet thy Nation suffers not. Praise be unto Him that protects thee from all harm!!
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Thinyser
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Re: Submissions to Kevin...that didn't "make the grade&

Unread post by Thinyser »

cornholioprime wrote:
Thinyser wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:
*** Rune Toilet Paper***
-Do I really have to elaborate on the potential dangers of completely indestructible TP??? And you don't wanna know details of how a Soul Drinking Attack might occur in this particular instance.... :eek:


actually this prolly does exsist as I'm sure there are many an adventurer that carries a piece of diabolist's rune paper and will wash it off after each *ahem* use...its better than leaves or pinecones :eek:

"I'm cornholioprime... I need Rune TP for my bung hole"
:lol:
Except that there are Runes of Permanency on those sheets. They can't be cleaned.....

:eek: :eek: :eek: :oops: :oops: :oops: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Huh? Only the paper is invulnerable and indestructable not what is put upon it... even the ink can be scraped off and the pages of a book reused so washing off poo ought to be no problem.
"We live in a world where people use severed plant genitals to express affection.
Rifts is really not much weirder than that." ~~Killer Cyborg

"If we let technical problems scare us away from doing anything, humanity would still be in the trees flinging poo at each other."~~Killer Cyborg

"Everything that breeds is a threat."~~Killer Cyborg
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Thinyser
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~George Carlin
Location: Sioux Falls SD

Re: Submissions to Kevin...that didn't "make the grade&

Unread post by Thinyser »

Killer Cyborg wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:
Thinyser wrote:
cornholioprime wrote:
*** Rune Toilet Paper***
-Do I really have to elaborate on the potential dangers of completely indestructible TP??? And you don't wanna know details of how a Soul Drinking Attack might occur in this particular instance.... :eek:


actually this prolly does exsist as I'm sure there are many an adventurer that carries a piece of diabolist's rune paper and will wash it off after each *ahem* use...its better than leaves or pinecones :eek:

"I'm cornholioprime... I need Rune TP for my bung hole"
:lol:
Except that there are Runes of Permanency on those sheets. They can't be cleaned.....

:eek: :eek: :eek: :oops: :oops: :oops: :eek: :eek: :eek:


And you can't tear them on the perforation lines either...

Edit:
(Actually, that would be a pretty funny joke for a diabolist to play on somebody... Or a mage with a specialized version of Ironwood that affects paper...)
I never said a roll of paper i said a piece of paper no perforations no splinters.
"We live in a world where people use severed plant genitals to express affection.
Rifts is really not much weirder than that." ~~Killer Cyborg

"If we let technical problems scare us away from doing anything, humanity would still be in the trees flinging poo at each other."~~Killer Cyborg

"Everything that breeds is a threat."~~Killer Cyborg
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Zer0 Kay
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Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

Rimmerdal wrote:
Misfit KotLD wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:
darkbrandon wrote:
jedi078 wrote:I guess you didn't read the fine print at the bottom of the post (before the sig).


I did, but I didn't care. To see hot vampire goth chicks in blood orgy baths? Yeah, I'd buy that for a dollar!


Hey, as long they don't come to my town...I'd pay a buck.


Besides, I'm using his credit card. :D


then we'd be usingf Darkbrandon's...You think I'm gonna give my address to a bunch of Vamp chicks?

I can think of much worse ways to to die....but vamp chicks are definitley not my first pick....


Hey in a relationship with a vampire chick who pricks who?
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
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Zer0 Kay
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Unread post by Zer0 Kay »

cornholioprime wrote:Yet another submission turned down:

Spell: Godlike Bodily Function Control.

-Ideal for such Occupations like Assassins and Snipers who sometimes have to wait in one spot for hours or even days to "catch" elusive or well-protected Quarry, but cannot get to proper facilities and cannot move without alerting others to their presence, this 4th level Invocation seemed like a godsend; however, the side effects of the Spell were soon made disatrously clear:

As living things, the Bowels and Bladder (the "recipients" of the Spell) each get to save versus Magic at +2.

If either of the Body parts in question makes the save, the Caster will "suffer" the OPPOSITE of the intended Effect.

Double the 'Damage.'**

Double the 'Duration.'

And you WILL suffer a penalty to your Prowl Rolls.

Ye Gods, will you suffer a Penalty to your Prowl Rolls, especially in a Sealed Bodysuit/Light Armor!!


**4D6 S.D.C. Damage to the Underpants, Outerwear, and the Caster himself; damage to the Caster, as well as all Spell Effects, are tripled if constipated at the time; quadrupled if near a Ley Line Nexus!!!


:lol: you are soooo messed up in the head :lol: Hope you don't open that sealed suit near an ignition source.
:thwak: you some might think you're a :clown: but you're cool in book :ok: :thwak:--Mecha-Viper
BEST IDEA EVER!!! -- The Galactus Kid
Holy crapy, you're Zer0 Kay?! --TriaxTech
Zer0 Kay is my hero. --Atramentus
The Zer0 of Kay, who started this fray,
Kept us laughing until the end. -The Fifth Business (In loving Memory of the teleport thread)
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dark brandon
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Unread post by dark brandon »

Misfit KotLD wrote:Want my ex-wife's number? She's quite a blood sucking, soul devouring devil. :D


I'm not into second-hand goods. :D
"We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine And the machine is bleeding to death The sun has fallen down And the billboards are all leering And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles ...I open up my wallet And it's full of blood "~~Godspeed you black emperor.
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Danger
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Location: Greenwood, MO

Unread post by Danger »

Coalition Sourcebook - Coalition on Ice!
Source Book V - ARCHIE Bots on Parade (Featuring the feared Drag Queen Androids)
Rifts World Book 2.5 - Atlantis: A Night on the Town With Splynncryth


Alternate Book Names for Beyond the Supernatural

Not Quite Supernatural
Really Close to the Supernatural
Almost Supernatural
Next Door to the Supernatural
Nearly Supernatural
Possibly Supernatural
We're Not Sure it's Supernatural
It Might Be Supernatural
What the Hell is Supernatural?
Are We Sure this is Supernatural?
"Can you kill me?! With those feeble arms?!" - Ogami Itto
"Bodycount's in the house!" - Ice T
"The Great Destroyer is back again!" - Duo Maxwell
"It's mine you hear? Mine ALL MINE Get back in there. Down Down Down! Go Go Go! MINE MINE MINE!!!" --Daffy Duck
Nekira Sudacne wrote:Sorry, the Anime genre and the Furry genre don't usually mix, except where Catgirls are concerned :D
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Necrite
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Unread post by Necrite »

MrTwist wrote:"Geekworld"-submission for Dimension book, set in a world where computer nerds and RPG geeks are considered the pinnacle of sexiness in the world. Written entirely in 733|.


Actually... It's "1337". What you wrote would translate to "teal", and a Dimension Book printed entirely in teal ink would be a source of much eye strain. And probably expensive to print.
"I have to applaud you for doing all that math :D" - Nekira Sudacne
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Necrite
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Unread post by Necrite »

Danger wrote:Coalition Sourcebook - Coalition on Ice!
Source Book V - ARCHIE Bots on Parade (Featuring the feared Drag Queen Androids)
Rifts World Book 2.5 - Atlantis: A Night on the Town With Splynncryth


Alternate Book Names for Beyond the Supernatural

Not Quite Supernatural
Really Close to the Supernatural
Almost Supernatural
Next Door to the Supernatural
Nearly Supernatural
Possibly Supernatural
We're Not Sure it's Supernatural
It Might Be Supernatural
What the Hell is Supernatural?
Are We Sure this is Supernatural?


You forgot "I Can't believe It's Not Supernatural"
"I have to applaud you for doing all that math :D" - Nekira Sudacne
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Danger
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Location: Greenwood, MO

Unread post by Danger »

Necrite wrote:
Danger wrote:Coalition Sourcebook - Coalition on Ice!
Source Book V - ARCHIE Bots on Parade (Featuring the feared Drag Queen Androids)
Rifts World Book 2.5 - Atlantis: A Night on the Town With Splynncryth


Alternate Book Names for Beyond the Supernatural

Not Quite Supernatural
Really Close to the Supernatural
Almost Supernatural
Next Door to the Supernatural
Nearly Supernatural
Possibly Supernatural
We're Not Sure it's Supernatural
It Might Be Supernatural
What the Hell is Supernatural?
Are We Sure this is Supernatural?


You forgot "I Can't believe It's Not Supernatural"


Actually, believe it or not, I thought of that after I posted. :D
"Can you kill me?! With those feeble arms?!" - Ogami Itto
"Bodycount's in the house!" - Ice T
"The Great Destroyer is back again!" - Duo Maxwell
"It's mine you hear? Mine ALL MINE Get back in there. Down Down Down! Go Go Go! MINE MINE MINE!!!" --Daffy Duck
Nekira Sudacne wrote:Sorry, the Anime genre and the Furry genre don't usually mix, except where Catgirls are concerned :D
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Rimmerdal
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Dog boys: Chi-Town...(Dog Boys is filmed live....)

CSI: Chi-town
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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Jesterzzn
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Unread post by Jesterzzn »

Rimmerdal wrote:Dog boys: Chi-Town...(Dog Boys is filmed live....)

CSI: Chi-town


All suspects are Guilty, period. Otherwise they wouldn't be suspect would they?
:fool:
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Danger
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Location: Greenwood, MO

Unread post by Danger »

ARCHIE - Iron Chef Expansion
The Coalition Cookbook
Rifts Nintendo Conversion - The tagline works too: Now you're playing with power!
"Can you kill me?! With those feeble arms?!" - Ogami Itto
"Bodycount's in the house!" - Ice T
"The Great Destroyer is back again!" - Duo Maxwell
"It's mine you hear? Mine ALL MINE Get back in there. Down Down Down! Go Go Go! MINE MINE MINE!!!" --Daffy Duck
Nekira Sudacne wrote:Sorry, the Anime genre and the Furry genre don't usually mix, except where Catgirls are concerned :D
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Rimmerdal
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Danger wrote:ARCHIE - Iron Chef Expansion
The Coalition Cookbook
Rifts Nintendo Conversion - The tagline works too: Now you're playing with power!


There's a scary thought Mario in Titan power armour...

and you know some baelrogs would be selling the Mushroom guy Yoshi to the local drug dealers...
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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dark brandon
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Unread post by dark brandon »

Rifts: Detailed decriptions on ritualistic sacrifices that can be done at home.

Rift: How to contact satan...for reals

Rifts source book 6: Everything in Rifts is real
"We're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine And the machine is bleeding to death The sun has fallen down And the billboards are all leering And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles ...I open up my wallet And it's full of blood "~~Godspeed you black emperor.
Natalya

Unread post by Natalya »

Jesterzzn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:Dog boys: Chi-Town...(Dog Boys is filmed live....)

CSI: Chi-town


All suspects are Guilty, period. Otherwise they wouldn't be suspect would they?


Another "Troops" fan, I see.

:D
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Rimmerdal
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Natalya wrote:
Jesterzzn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:Dog boys: Chi-Town...(Dog Boys is filmed live....)

CSI: Chi-town


All suspects are Guilty, period. Otherwise they wouldn't be suspect would they?


Another "Troops" fan, I see.

:D


We allow most sci-fi fans...we're not picky.. :)
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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Jesterzzn
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Unread post by Jesterzzn »

Natalya wrote:
Jesterzzn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:Dog boys: Chi-Town...(Dog Boys is filmed live....)

CSI: Chi-town


All suspects are Guilty, period. Otherwise they wouldn't be suspect would they?


Another "Troops" fan, I see.

:D


Yea, its killer.
:fool:
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Kalinda
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Unread post by Kalinda »

Rifts conversion book 4: really dark conversions. Rules for Perverted tentacle demons and other naughtiness. :eek: Also included is detailed information on human-mutant animal relationships. :hug:

Rifts conversion book 5: We give up already! All the information you need to convert Rifts to D20 and GURPS. 512 pages, hardbound. $125 us. :ugh:

After DA BOMB!! In the aftermath of a nuclear war, mutant animals rebuild, basing their society on rap and hip-hop... :frazz:

Rifts Office space: All the information you need to play a desk jockey in Chi-town! Includes new OCCs like the Brownnoser and the Middle manager and new skills like Lore: donuts. Also included are detailed maps of a Chi-town office complex, complete with cube farms! :sleep:
Personally, I think that we have a duty as role-players to try to anchor each other to reality a bit. To keep other gamers from being complete freaks and weirdos, or even psychopaths, if we can. Killer Cyborg
283 geek points. 42 McGeekpoints.
:lol: 50 Smartass Points! :lol: Slag.
60 DaDa points.
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Rimmerdal
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Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Kalinda wrote:Rifts conversion book 4: really dark conversions. Rules for Perverted tentacle demons and other naughtiness. :eek: Also included is detailed information on human-mutant animal relationships. :hug:

Rifts conversion book 5: We give up already! All the information you need to convert Rifts to D20 and GURPS. 512 pages, hardbound. $125 us. :ugh:

After DA BOMB!! In the aftermath of a nuclear war, mutant animals rebuild, basing their society on rap and hip-hop... :frazz:

Rifts Office space: All the information you need to play a desk jockey in Chi-town! Includes new OCCs like the Brownnoser and the Middle manager and new skills like Lore: donuts. Also included are detailed maps of a Chi-town office complex, complete with cube farms! :sleep:


Thats awsome!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
User avatar
Rimmerdal
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:24 pm
Comment: Official Member of the 'Transformers don't need Humans Club'

Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Rifts: the adult magaz...(Ughhh...hey wait, I'm not done....zaaap!!!!!aghhhhh!!")


nothing to see here, move along...!
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
User avatar
cornholioprime
Palladin
Posts: 7686
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2004 1:05 am
Comment: At long last....I am FINALLY free of my wonderful addiction to the online Flash game "Bloons."
Well, mostly.....
Location: In the Hivelands with General Jericho Holmes, taking advantage of suddenly stupid Xiticix...

Unread post by cornholioprime »

Rimmerdal wrote:
Kalinda wrote:Rifts conversion book 4: really dark conversions. Rules for Perverted tentacle demons and other naughtiness. :eek: Also included is detailed information on human-mutant animal relationships. :hug:

Rifts conversion book 5: We give up already! All the information you need to convert Rifts to D20 and GURPS. 512 pages, hardbound. $125 us. :ugh:

After DA BOMB!! In the aftermath of a nuclear war, mutant animals rebuild, basing their society on rap and hip-hop... :frazz:

Rifts Office space: All the information you need to play a desk jockey in Chi-town! Includes new OCCs like the Brownnoser and the Middle manager and new skills like Lore: donuts. Also included are detailed maps of a Chi-town office complex, complete with cube farms!
:sleep:


Thats awsome!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Yeah, I was about to cut out some of it...but then re-read it and realized that ALL of this Post is DAMNED funny........

ESPECIALLY Lore: Donuts.

:lol: :lol: :lol:
The Kevinomicon, Book of Siembieda 3:16.

16 Blessed art Thou above all others, O COALITION STATES, beloved of Kevin;

17 For Thou art allowed to do Evil without Limit, nor do thy Enemies retaliate.

18 Thy Military be run by Fools and Dotards.

19 Yet thy Nation suffers not. Praise be unto Him that protects thee from all harm!!
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Rimmerdal
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 7:24 pm
Comment: Official Member of the 'Transformers don't need Humans Club'

Unread post by Rimmerdal »

Atramentus wrote:Rifts: Humans Across the Megaverse - The Other White Meat


that would be even funnier if it wasn't true... :shock:
taalismn wrote:
Rimmerdal wrote:mmm Rifts street meat..


Flooper. Fried, broiled, or chipped.
It's like eating Chinese.
FLOOP! And you're hungry again.
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