Re: Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)
Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 9:03 pm
and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..
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glitterboy2098 wrote:and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..
SRoss wrote:All the female students are piled into one classroom.
"Greetings class, I am you teacher Shino Kuribayashi and this class is how to be a bad-ass soldier-girl 101, this is my partner, Rory Mercury. And this sorry sack is our testing dummy."
Prince Zorzal: (Bound and Gagged) "Mmmmuuufff mmmmoooouuuufff!!!"
Arnie100 wrote:(Down Below...)
Charon: "At least this one'll be entertaining. (Grabbing a bowl of popcorn)"
SRoss wrote:Erin: "Why am I here?"
Rei: "Cause, even though you can melt a city block, you punch like Usagi."
Usagi: "Hey!!!"
Dana: "I think I'm going to like this class."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Erin: "Why am I here?""
"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"
Arnie100 wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Erin: "Why am I here?""
"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"
Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"
taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:[q
Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"
Principal: "According to the midterm exams....what's lower on the scale than idiots?"
SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Erin: "Why am I here?""
"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"
Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"
Charon wasn't sure what happened next, or how he ended up hanging from the school flagpole by his underwear...
Several Valkyries laughed and pointed...
Brunhilde: "You forgot the rules of anime..."
Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Erin: "Why am I here?""
"We all, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves that question. It is the bane and the duty of a thinking person."
"I don't mean the existentialist 'why am I here?'. I mean, the 'why am I here standing next to a bunch of idiots?'"
"What idiots?"
Charon: "The whole lot of you are idiots!"
Charon wasn't sure what happened next, or how he ended up hanging from the school flagpole by his underwear...
Several Valkyries laughed and pointed...
Brunhilde: "You forgot the rules of anime..."
Charon: "I'm a dead man...why would I need underwear?"
Brunhilde and the Valkyries:
taalismn wrote:"Flagpole through the ribcage?"
"...okay, even if that doesn't hurt me, it's still undignified..."
Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"
SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"
Principle: "RIGHT! From now on, the cafeteria will no longer post pictures of menu items..."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"
Principle: "RIGHT! From now on, the cafeteria will no longer post pictures of menu items..."
This, in a school where the civics class shows full color photos of the result of Prince Zorzal de Ceasar 'negotiating' with the JSDF, the UEsG, Stargate SG-1, the GNE, the Shemarrians, the Splugorth, the Justice League, the Avengers, Ranma Saotome, the USMC, the UNSC.....
Arnie100 wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "OH, GOD...THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'll NEVER be able to get that out of my mind!"
Principle: "RIGHT! From now on, the cafeteria will no longer post pictures of menu items..."
This, in a school where the civics class shows full color photos of the result of Prince Zorzal de Ceasar 'negotiating' with the JSDF, the UEsG, Stargate SG-1, the GNE, the Shemarrians, the Splugorth, the Justice League, the Avengers, Ranma Saotome, the USMC, the UNSC.....
Don't forget the X-Men, the Fantastic Four, Apocalypse, the Shi'Ar, the Kree, Doctor Doom, Magneto, the Guardians of the Galaxy, Thanos, Doctor Doom, Darkseid, Yautja, the Arachnid Empire, the Kilrathi, Xenomorphs, etc., etc., etc.
taalismn wrote:"So....these are Jackson Pollock prints?"
"Blood spatter patterns, actually, on the Imperial Palace walls. Except for the last...that's a 3-d radar map of a crater in the Imperial Palace floor..."
Arnie100 wrote:"I thought they were for the school art gallery."
"We have an art gallery?!"
"If you can call some of those abominations art, yeah."
taalismn wrote:"The snowflake?"
"Somebody called 'Ice Guard'."
glitterboy2098 wrote:and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..
taalismn wrote:glitterboy2098 wrote:and here i thought the iceguards contribution would have been a flash frozen Ice-9 Spetznez..
They had a delivery error, and the Spetzies were accidentally delivered to the cafeteria service entrance/loading dock...
"Hey...is ths a Soviet paratrooper button in my pot roast?"
Alpha 11 wrote:[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.
taalismn wrote:Alpha 11 wrote:[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.
"Oh look...a metal pineapple in the pineapple salad!"(sound of grenade spoon detaching )
Arnie100 wrote:"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."
taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."
"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."
"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."
"Much like how our teaching staff has the requirement; Must be able to dodge bullets."
Arnie100 wrote:Shinji: "THAT'S NORMAL?!"
Tenchi: "Oh, goodie...she's after you."
Ryoko: "Good for HER."
Ayeka: "Indeed!"
Arnie100 wrote:[
Arnie100: "Some of us have armored bunkers with a fully-stocked armory, kitchen and fridge, and most importantly...a FULLY-STOCKED BOOZE LOCKER. Well, I DO, at least."
taalismn wrote:Alpha 11 wrote:[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.
"Oh look...a metal pineapple in the pineapple salad!"(sound of grenade spoon detaching )
Arnie100 wrote:taalismn wrote:Alpha 11 wrote:[
Wow, no wander no one wants the cafeteria food.
"Oh look...a metal pineapple in the pineapple salad!"(sound of grenade spoon detaching )
Random MCHS Student #1: "What the...?!"
Ransom MCHS Student #2: "They're goes the cafeteria again."
taalismn wrote:"At least the gas piping in the school has multiple easy-access shut-off points so we don't have to wait and call the gas company."
Arnie100 wrote:"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."
taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."
"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."
"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."
"Much like how our teaching staff has the requirement; Must be able to dodge bullets."
Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"At least they didn't blow up the toilets."
"That would be...EEEEEWWWWWWWW."
"Our plumbing system has more redundant safeguards than a post-Fukashima nuclear reactor."
"I'm not going to ask WHY."
"Much like how our teaching staff has the requirement; Must be able to dodge bullets."
Arnie100: "Some of us have armored bunkers with a fully-stocked armory, kitchen and fridge, and most importantly...a FULLY-STOCKED BOOZE LOCKER. Well, I DO, at least."
SRoss wrote:Max: "I'm worried the new girl might have an unhealthy obsession with Shinji."
Mirya: "She seems normal to me..."
Arnie100 wrote:Shinji: "THAT'S NORMAL?!"
Tenchi: "Oh, goodie...she's after you."
Ryoko: "Good for HER."
Ayeka: "Indeed!"
SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:Shinji: "THAT'S NORMAL?!"
Tenchi: "Oh, goodie...she's after you."
Ryoko: "Good for HER."
Ayeka: "Indeed!"
Yandere-chan: "I noticed you hanging out with Sempai, could I talk to you in the south storage room?"
One Week Later...
Erin: "Damn weirdest thing. After being absent for a week, Ryoko suddenly shows up at recess and tries to stab Ayeka in the face."
Sarah: "Probably mid-term stress."
taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:[
Arnie100: "Some of us have armored bunkers with a fully-stocked armory, kitchen and fridge, and most importantly...a FULLY-STOCKED BOOZE LOCKER. Well, I DO, at least."
"#Koff--glaucoma prescription--koff#"
taalismn wrote:Principle: "It worries me that our substance abuse classes seem to serve only give our faculty ideas as to what they're missing...."
Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."
Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."
Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."
SRoss: "Won't help, she also stole the spare key to the vault in the Defence Against Dark Arts class."
taalismn wrote:"So...Flower of Life pollen has mind-altering effects? That's good to now, because LDS is no longer doing anything for me..."
Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."
Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."
Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."
SRoss: "Won't help, she also stole the spare key to the vault in the Defence Against Dark Arts class."
Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who made coffee from The Flower Of Life?!"
Yandere-chan: "Sorry, that coffee is for Sempai..."
Principal: "Please have all copies of 'Cooking With Flower of Life" removed from the school library and burned."
SRoss: "Won't help, she also stole the spare key to the vault in the Defence Against Dark Arts class."
Arnie100: "Huh...all she took was that cookbook...and one more...and I found the key on my desk..."
SRoss: "What was the orher cookbook?"
Arnie100: "TO SERVE MAN"
SRoss:
taalismn wrote:Principle: "I suppose we should be happy none of the school kitchen ovens can fit a human being...."
Vice-principle: "Unless you dismember it first..."
Principle: "Let's try thinking positive thoughts, shall we?"
Vice-principle: "Yes. At least somebody else beat her to Buildings and Grounds' chainsaws."
Alpha 11 wrote:taalismn wrote:"So...Flower of Life pollen has mind-altering effects? That's good to now, because LDS is no longer doing anything for me..."
Arnie100: "Huh...all she took was that cookbook...and one more...and I found the key on my desk..."
SRoss: "What was the orher cookbook?"
Arnie100: "TO SERVE MAN"
SRoss:
guardiandashi wrote:Alpha 11 wrote:taalismn wrote:"So...Flower of Life pollen has mind-altering effects? That's good to now, because LDS is no longer doing anything for me..."
Arnie100: "Huh...all she took was that cookbook...and one more...and I found the key on my desk..."
SRoss: "What was the orher cookbook?"
Arnie100: "TO SERVE MAN"
SRoss:
I'm just not going to ask.
To Serve MAN was a giants cookbook in the chronicles of Narnia, "the Silver Chair"
lets just say id didn't have much to do with how to have a "MAN" as a guest for dinner, but had lots of options on how to prepare man as dinner.
glitterboy2098 wrote:actually, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Serve_Man
taalismn wrote:That whole tragedy, I imagine, would be an important part of galactic diplomacy courses beat into students from Day One of the course...
"Do NOT sell the planet, human race, or solar system, and be wary of anything that would appear, on the surface, to speak of outsider altruism. Remember what well-meaning businessmen and missionaries brought to the New World? Cultural upheaval and epidemics. Be careful or our own First Contact as a species will make those previous meetings look like happy handshakes."
SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."
(Girl fight ensues...)
SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."
(Girl fight ensues...)
SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"
Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."
(Girl fight ensues...)
SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"
Arnie100: "Godzilla or Cthulhu-size...Will that be enough?!"
SRoss wrote:Late that night, Dana slips into Shinji's room to borrow his biology notes ... and dives for cover as a hail of gunfire erupts...
Dana: "OH COME ON SHINJI! WHO MOUNTS SENTRY GUNS IN HIS BEDROOM!!!"
Arnie100 wrote:Random MCHS Student #1: "I still can't believe they have cookbooks like that..."
Random MCHS Student #2: "I can't believe there are people who BUY those cookbooks..."
Random MCHS Student #1: "And what would they be doing in a school?"
Random MCHS Student #2: "I'm seriously not eating in the cafeteria anymore."
Random MCHS Stusent #1: "Ditto."
SRoss wrote:SRoss: "You're sure she took THAT cookbook?"
Arnie100: "Yeah. Why?"
SRoss points to the lunch room where Yandere-chan is giving Shinji a piece of pie...
Shinji: "This isn't one of those pies where you've baked your hair into it, is it?"
Yandere-chan: "No, of course not... I baked Asuka instead..."
Arnie100 wrote:Shinji, Arnie100 and SRoss:
Yandere-chan: "I was just joking..."
Shinji: "Whew..."
Yandere-chan: "There's only one way to find out...want a slice?"
Shinji: "No, thank you!"
taalismn wrote:Baked Asuka? Baked Alaska? Verbal typo?
I don't think so....
Tsundere-bake.
Arnie100 wrote:P.A.: "Good morning, Students! We'd like to welcome our new head chef...Yandere-Chan!!!!"
Random MCHS Student #1:
Random MCHS Student #2: "Oh, God!!"
SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
SRoss wrote:Dana: "Damn weirdest thing, Shinji got this card and shouted Nnnnoooo, and locked himself in the EVA cockpit and won't come out..."
Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."
(Girl fight ensues...)
SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."
(Girl fight ensues...)
SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"
Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Arnie100 wrote:SRoss wrote:Hotaru walks up and gives Tenchi a card.
Ryoko: "Who's the hussy that gave you that card?!"
Hotaru: "HUSSY?!"
Ayeka: "For once, I agree with Ryoko!!"
Tenchi: "OH, NOOOO..."
(Girl fight ensues...)
SRoss: "Um, what's our bunker rated for!?!"
Arnie100: "Godzilla or Cthulhu-size...Will that be enough?!"