Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:46 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:MCHS Students: "Oh, s**t!"

(Down in the basement; yes, you coward, there is one...)

Edwards: (Tied spread-eagled, facing a wall...) "Who's bright idea was this?!"
Kyle: "I don't know...but it's probably YOUR fault!"
Minmei: (With a whip...) "I've been waiting a LLLOOONNNGGG time for this moment!"
Edwards and Kyle:

"Miss Lynn? Would you mind not powering your electroshock gear off the school power grid? This is the third time you've blown the fuses. Use batteries!"
"...sorry about that..."

Louie: "Here you go Ms Lynn! I re purposed the Protoculture enhanced Proton Packs to power your Probulator!"

Kyle and Edwards: :eek:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 10, 2016 9:52 pm

Tim Taylor: "And you have your own potoculture generator for more POWER!"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 10, 2016 10:29 pm

Arnie100 wrote:Tim Taylor: "And you have your own potoculture generator for more POWER!"

SRoss: "Not worried, just wondering, what's the AT field on the basement rated for damage wise!?!"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 10, 2016 10:52 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:Tim Taylor: "And you have your own potoculture generator for more POWER!"

SRoss: "Not worried, just wondering, what's the AT field on the basement rated for damage wise!?!"

Arnie100: "One of the reasons I have my own bunker. In this place; if it CAN go wrong, you can bet your arse it WILL go wrong!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:20 pm

Lynn Kyle: "Well, at least she's paying attention to me."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 5:28 pm

taalismn wrote:Lynn Kyle: "Well, at least she's paying attention to me."

Mistress Minmei: "You've been a bad, bad, boy!" (Cracks whip...)
Lynn Kyle: :shock:

"Pleaseignoremepleaseignoremepleaseignoreme..."
Edwards: :eek:

Mistress Minmei: "Don't worry... :twisted:

...you're next!"
Edwards: :frazz:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 6:40 pm

Minmei: "No, Kyle, I think for you, I'll go with ...sensory deprivation..."
Edwards: "Woo-Hooo!! Peace and quiet at last!"
Minmei: "For KYLE, not you."
Edwards: "Regardless, it's still peace and quiet for me away from him!"
Minmei" "...something's just not adding up here."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 7:04 pm

Edwards: "So I don't have to listen to his cr@p all day!"
Lynn Kyle: "Hhhheeeyyy!"
Edwards: "Do it, Minmei! DO IT!"
Mistress Minmei: :-?

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 7:38 pm

Janitor(poking head in): "Miss Minmei? You're supposed to discipline the STUDENTS. Those guys fall under the responsibility of the custodial union."
Edwards: "CUSTODIANS?! I'm -FACULTY- if anything! I get to hear from the Teachers' Union!!!"

Janitor: "You're not actually paid faculty, and you're not a custodian either. You're just custodial responsibility."
Edwards: "As WHAT?!"
BSB Sarge: "'Disposable Waste Management Supplies', that's what."
Edwards: "Oh, THAT what..."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Oct 11, 2016 8:29 pm

BSB Sarge: "In other words, if we spot any large critters in this school, you go in first. Stop smirking, Kyle. Did you forget you're his partner?"
Kyle: "Well, that sucks."
Edwards: "That we go in first?"
Kyle: "That and you're my partner."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Wed Oct 12, 2016 6:08 pm

Edwards: "Kissmy @a-"
(sound of violence ensues)
BSB Sarge:(shaking head) "...it always devolves into this."

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Oct 13, 2016 1:44 am

BSB Seargent: "Would you two like more quality time with Miss Minmei?"
Kyle and Edwards: :shock:

( Snapping to attention...) "SIR; NO, SIR!"
BSB Seargent: "Good!"
Edwards: "Sesrgent! Kyle volunteered to be the point man for any new missions we may be assigned!"
Kyle: "I did no such thing!"
BSB Seargent: "Excellent, Kyle! Edwards, you bring all the gear! Kyle has to be light and mobile!"
Edwards: "Wait...what?!"

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Oct 13, 2016 4:26 pm

Arnie100 wrote:BSB Seargent: "Would you two like more quality time with Miss Minmei?"
Kyle and Edwards: ( Snapping to attention...) "SIR; NO, SIR!"
BSB Seargent: "Good!"
Edwards: "Sesrgent! Kyle volunteered to be the point man for any new missions we may be assigned!"
Kyle: "I did no such thing!"
BSB Seargent: "Excellent, Kyle! Edwards, you bring all the gear! Kyle has to be light and mobile!"
Edwards: "Wait...what?!"

Edwards: "What's with these canisters of chemicals marked all 'Hazardous! Do Not Let Come Into Contact With Bare Skin!'"
Janitor: "You know your way around cleaning chemicals, sir."
Edwards: "Yeah, but these cans are LEAKING. And I don't get a hazmat suit? Why the hell no-....right. 'Disposable cleaning tool'."
Kyle: "Budget cuts are such a bastard."
Edwards: "Fine turnaround for a guy who used to yell about 'defunding the military'."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Oct 13, 2016 4:42 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

1) Subcontracted sanitary facility design and instillation to the Regess.

Kyle: (Carrying a plunger) "Damn toilet's making noises, again!"

Edwards: "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Cut to: Bathroom as the toilet uses it's tentacles to beat Kyle against the walls and ceiling...

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Oct 13, 2016 5:29 pm

"Hi, we're from the Environmental Protection Agency, and we're here to investigate reports about illegal laboratory waste dumping from your Genesis Pits."
( "Warn the Regis at once! It's the feds; they're onto us! We gotta scram!" )

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Thu Oct 13, 2016 6:05 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

2) The Cafeteria staff is Embryo.

Embryo: (Multiples of him wearing a hairnet) "This is humiliating..." :nh:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Thu Oct 13, 2016 6:50 pm

SRoss wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

2) The Cafeteria staff is Embryo.

Embryo: (Multiples of him wearing a hairnet) "This is humiliating..."

Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"I'm bringing my lunch from home."
Random MCHS Student #2: :puke:

"Ditto..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Thu Oct 13, 2016 7:26 pm

SRoss wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

2) The Cafeteria staff is Embryo.

Embryo: (Multiples of him wearing a hairnet) "This is humiliating..."

"Miss von Loewenherz, with regards to your shooting the kitchen help...you ARE going to pay for those damaged wall tiles and paneling."

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Fri Oct 14, 2016 12:21 am

MCH student:" umm, why is miss auska standing in a battler?"
MCH :" Because miss Washu is cooking lunch today"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Fri Oct 14, 2016 11:09 am

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

3) Silver engraved wards around Defence Against Dark Arts classroom are actually solder.

4) Protective Radiation Suits actually props from old Intel commercials.

5) Subcontracted Skuld and Tim Taylor to build schools Reflex Furnace.

6) Secretly replaced the Protoculture Canisters with Folgers.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Oct 14, 2016 4:53 pm

Arnie100: "You mean I actually have to pay for some decent wards around my DADA classroom?! As long as it doesn't cut into my liquor budget..."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Oct 14, 2016 9:07 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

7) Use old de-militarized afterburner sections from pre-Visitor military jets for the school ventilation and heating system.

8 ) School swimming pool doubles as a fission nuclear powerplant spent fuel rod storage pool

9) Cafeteria help clones double as dissection lab animals in the biology classrooms.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Oct 14, 2016 10:16 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

10) Have Edwards and Kyle do everything.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Fri Oct 14, 2016 10:18 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

10) Have Edwards and Kyle do everything.

11) Don't actually pay either Edwards or Kyle.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Fri Oct 14, 2016 11:50 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

10) Have Edwards and Kyle do everything.

11) Don't actually pay either Edwards or Kyle.

"They're classified as 'forced volunteer laborers '."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Oct 15, 2016 7:35 pm

12) Faculty retirement exit clause states departing staff CANNOT ever again contact anybody still employed by MCHS#69. This prevents anybody from catching on that 'retirement' and 'termination' have rather different meanings, given the subsequent savings in pension-payouts.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sat Oct 15, 2016 9:37 pm

13) Animal Control subcontracted to Annie.

(As the Asian dragon digs it's claws into the floor trying to keep from being dragged further. )

"I'm pretty sure the idea was to REDUCE the number of creatures wandering the halls, not drag more in."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sat Oct 15, 2016 10:43 pm

14) Sv mny n pitr ik b nt tpn eey ohr lte.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Oct 16, 2016 12:14 am

taalismn wrote:14) Sv mny n pitr ik b nt tpn eey ohr lte.

"Say what??"

batlchip · Unread post by **batlchip** » Sun Oct 16, 2016 1:00 am

Save many an something by not open any something

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:09 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
taalismn wrote:14) Sv mny n pitr ik b nt tpn eey ohr lte.

"Say what??"

Just in case nobody figured it out:
Save money on printer ink by not typing every other letter.

16) School athletic field doubles as a live fire range for the nearby miiliary base.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:37 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

17) Mihoshi is the school safety officer.

"What's this button do?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Sun Oct 16, 2016 10:17 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

18) Mihoshi also teaches Driver's Ed classes on weekends.

Student Driver: "We're all gonna die!" :frazz:

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:36 am

Arnie100 wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

18) Mihoshi also teaches Driver's Ed classes on weekends.

Student Driver: "We're all gonna die!"

Looking a car sticking out of a third floor window...

"How does this save us money again?"

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 1:51 pm

SRoss wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

18) Mihoshi also teaches Driver's Ed classes on weekends.

Student Driver: "We're all gonna die!"

Looking a car sticking out of a third floor window...

"How does this save us money again?"

"Uhm, she volunteered?"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 1:56 pm

Meanwhile, in Tarterus...

Mara: "Oh man! What was it this time!?!" :nh:

Kyle: "I don't know! I was cleaning the toilet and I got hit by a car..." :-?

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:04 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

19) Gary King is the school Guidance Councilor.

Gary: "Don't worry Annie. You should concentrate of having fun! I did, and look how I turned out!"

After that one meeting, Annie buckled down and became Valedictorian in Xenobiology...

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 2:05 pm

SRoss wrote:Meanwhile, in Tarterus...

Mara: "Oh man! What was it this time!?!"

Kyle: "I don't know! I was cleaning the toilet and I got hit by a car..."

Mara: (Upon seeing Edwards showing up...) "And what's your story?"
Edwards: :oops:

"After the car went through the window; apparently, it rolled backwards and fell on top of me as I was just about to walk through the front door."

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:21 pm

Arnie100 wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

18) Mihoshi also teaches Driver's Ed classes on weekends.

Student Driver: "We're all gonna die!"

20) The Driver's Ed simulator is a first generation Atari cartridge Pole Position video game.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:46 pm

taalismn wrote:
Arnie100 wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

18) Mihoshi also teaches Driver's Ed classes on weekends.

Student Driver: "We're all gonna die!"

20) The Driver's Ed simulator is a first generation Atari cartridge Pole Position video game.

Old Janitor: "Oh; man...this thing's a classic!" (As he expertly weaves through the complex turns of the ancient device, astonishing those younger kids with his skill)

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 9:29 pm

"Now remember, for this next part, the objective is NOT to hit objects in the road. Repeat, you do NOT get points for hitting objects."
"What about those guys down there?"(points to Kyle and Edwards doing road repair down the parking lot/track)
"Too easy. No points."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 10:04 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

21) Driver's Ed film is a VHS copy of Roger Corman's Death Race.

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Mon Oct 17, 2016 11:46 pm

Musica: "Actually, I did pretty well on this part! Bowled a full six!"

Clone Security Guards: "...we're no longer standing in a 'no speeding' zone , are we? We aren't? Oh shi-"

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 12:05 am

taalismn wrote:Musica: "Actually, I did pretty well on this part! Bowled a full six!"

Clone Security Guards: "...we're no longer standing in a 'no speeding' zone , are we? We aren't? Oh shi-"

Wouldn't be the first time, the instinct not to stand in front of traffic just isn't in their makeup.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 2:45 pm

Edwards: "Are you sure we should've volunteered for this Driver's Ed demo?"
Kyle: "It's a bunch of kids...what could possibly go wrong?"
Edwards: "Then why are they pointing their cars at us like we're contestants in a Death Race?"
Kyle: :shock:

"Oh, s**t..."
Edwards: "We're gonna die..." :nh:

taalismn · Unread post by **taalismn** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 5:09 pm

SRoss wrote:
taalismn wrote:Musica: "Actually, I did pretty well on this part! Bowled a full six!"

Clone Security Guards: "...we're no longer standing in a 'no speeding' zone , are we? We aren't? Oh shi-"

Wouldn't be the first time, the instinct not to stand in front of traffic just isn't in their makeup.

The other part of their job description is 'emergency brakes'.

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 5:34 pm

Mara: (Looking at Kyle and Edwards) "What the hell happened to you two?"

Edwards: "They had a GMU..." :shock:

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:32 pm

SRoss wrote:Mara: (Looking at Kyle and Edwards) "What the hell happened to you two?"

Edwards: "They had a GMU..."

Hades: "Pay up, Mara...I told you those two wouldn't last..."

SRoss · Unread post by **SRoss** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:59 pm

WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

22) Mara staffs the school store.

Arnie100 · Unread post by **Arnie100** » Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:13 pm

SRoss wrote:
WAYS BY WHICH MCH #69 KEEPS WITHIN BUDGET

22) Mara staffs the school store.

Random MCHS Student #1: "I need to file a complaint with the store manager..."
Random MCHS Student #2: :frazz:

"Uhm..." (Points at Mara...)
Random MCHS Student #1: :shock:

"Never mind!"