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"Slimy... yet... satisfying..." (OH GOD! SO WRONG! SO WRONG! It's from a Disney Movie!!!)

"What do you mean 'everyone else has eyes...'!?"

"Hey! Hey you! With the hat! and the shirt! And the face! HEY! Who the @#$% are you!?"

-"What the hell is THAT?!"

-"Coulda been worse...I coulda been assigned to a Metzla..."

-"Quit hogging the hot tub, Sluggo!"

-"Oops." (CRACKADOOM!)

"Hey, boys, bet you NEVER thought that 'bald' could look this damned good!"


"One of the really good things about being a BWW......
.....no Body Hair means no money wasted on razors or hairstylists....and even better than that: no 'Dumb Blonde' jokes."




*While walking down the street in Center.....*

Grackle-Tooth Male: "I'd sure like to get me some of that."
B.W.W.: "Men......."

Atorian Female: "I'd sure like to get me some of that."
B.W.W.: "Women..."

(5 Geek Points for the reference)

-"Oh no, Sluggo, tonight we practice our dance moves for 'Dancing with the Stars'! You don't have legs? Get the Biowizard to give you some! You're not getting out of practice THAT easily!"

-"Sensed one alternate dimension, you've sensed them all."

-"Okay, maybe the honey-dijon perfume was NOT a good idea with Sluggo around..."

-"Mmmmmmm....somebody's grilling something TASTY around here..."

Is that a new kind of oil, slime or are you just happy to see me

-"Oops...dropped my blow dryer in the slime bath...Quit thrashing, Sluggo!"

-"AAIIIEEE!! There's a bee under my skinsuit!"

-"GHH!! That's it! QUIT SNAPPING MY ELASTIC SUIT, YOU B####!!"

-"...whhoooohhh...feel oozy...shouldn't have given blood before going out raiding..."

-"LLLLEEERRROOOYYYYYYYYYYY JJJEEENNNNKKKIINNNNNNNSSSS!!!"

-"Hmmm...is shellback served with RED wine or WHITE wine?"

-"Great...Sluggo's got a cold, I can tell! Now we're ALL going to come down with it!"

BWW "Good, Evil...I'm the babe with the Net Gun."

BWW "Never mind her, MY outfit tighter!"

BWW "I just LOVE scanning for lifeforms!" *starts singing*

BWW "Great! I finally find a Macy's and some idiot put it through an Apocalypse!"

BWW "Here's the plan: We're gonna swipe barge-boy's credits and hit the shoe store..."

BWW "Why did become a slaver? Because I like a man in uniform!" *pats her hot slave boy, a former CS Grunt with a 19 PB*

-"Really! Do the Sunaj REALLY think they're fooling any of us with that act?"

-"Hmmm...I wonder what Metzla on the half-shell, stuffed with garlic, tastes like?"

-"HEY!!! THAT'S -OUR- PARKING SPACE!!! WHERE'S -YOUR- HANDICAPPED STICKER, HUH?!"

Here are more BWW funnies:

BWW said to Jerry Springer "I know it's wrong, but I'm in love with my own clone!"

BWW "My favorite thing about slave raids? Keeping the best clothes the slave girls had for myself!"

BWW "I know it's not normal to admit it, but, I think my Sploogie Slaver's kisses are sooooooo HOT!!!" *blushes*

BWW "They may not work, Mr.Slave, but MY EYES ARE UP HERE!!!"

Thank you, GaredBattlespike

Here's a few more:
BWW "The worst thing about having the floating pervert for a boss? He slimes-up the laundry cauldron and then FLOATS in it!!!!" *points to tye Barge*

BWW "I don't care that it's what 'I won', I don't WANT a 'Free Hot Tub Extravaganza' Slimebag!"

BWW "I never wanted to enslave people, but this outfit was just irresistable!!!"

BWW "OK. So I'm evil. Doesn't mean I have bad fashion sense. After all, the opposite of Good is NOT Evil-It's TACKY!"

More BWW wackiness:

BWW "I just love my newest capture; a Psi-Stalker gal!!!
She is bald and beautiful just like me! Best of all, we share the same clothing sizes!!! We're gonna go to the Dimensional Market and spend ALL the floating idiot's Credits! We deserve a better wardrobe!!!"

BWW with Psi-Stalker slave gal
"We're in LOVE and I'm gonna elope with her, just as soon as we take the rest of the floating freak's Credits!!!"

BWW "We're leaving you, Sluggo! If you value your sad little 'tentacle', you'll keep you big yap shut!!!" *walks in a Rift with Stalker wife-slave*

BWW "Men are like Xitixic: Gross, but make the funniest sounds when you stomp on them!"

"Sigh who let the slugo slaver read the map....they always think a inch is much more than a mile."

OK. A few more BWW "Thoughts"

BWW "I know that I'm supposed to enslave you, but I'll trade your freedom for telling me what I want to know: Who does your nails?!?! They're sooooo pretty!"

BWW #1 "Our own Comic Strip? A Road trip?!?! Yeah!!! About time we had some real fun! Let's ditch sluggo here and hit the New Lazlo Shoe Emporioum!!! 956 worlds of shoes! Glorious shoes!!!!"

BWW #2 "Road Trip?!?! Great but don't forget to bring the Extra-Dimensional Shoe Rack ! It holds 64 MILLION pairs!!!"

BWW#3 "Road Trip are great! Let's sell sluggo here for spending cash!"

BWW #4 "If I'm going on a road trip, I had BETTER be drawn by Perez! He's soooo dreamy!"

You want me to do what? I don't need this job that Baddly!

-"WHAT did he just call me???!!!!! Why that little-"

-"I distinctly recall ordering 'Set blasters to 'STUN'"

-"Why's Sluggo always give the backrubs to HER?!? -I- do all the heavy lifting around here!"

Even more BWW funnies:

BWW #1 "So when are we gonna get this Road Trip started? I just got my new Extra Dimensional Purse in order and I am set to go!"

BWW #2 "On this Road Trip, I call shotgun! Really! I have the WP!"

BWW #3 "This Road Trip is gonna be awesome! I just sold all of my old slaves so I can shop til I drop !!!"

BWW #4 "I can't wait to get going on this Road Trip...Cuz I just sold sluggo!!! No more slimy stuff!!!"

-"What, Sluggo? Ty'myy fell down a well? Where?"

-"*ack*...shouldn't have had that second gargoyle-burger before we set out...."

-"If...no, WHEN, I get my hands on whoever's been maxing out my credit cards, I'll---"

More BWW:

-"I'mma Chargin' my LAZA!!!"
-"Sluggo, what did we teach you about using the litter box?"
-"I wonder why I can't see anything..."

BWW #1 to BWW#2 hey look at the Slaves butt its just so big, I mean its just so round. She looks like one of those CS guys girlfriends. I mean look she's just so ...

Greetings!

More BWW fun!

BWW "Hey!!! Where's our Road Trip Comic Strip!?!? I wanna be in the Rifter!"

BWW "I just caught a Glitterboy. HE is wearing one of OUR MDC Spandex outfits! I was gonna raise a fuss about it, but I just took a few pictures instead. Now I'll just keep him in line with the pictures, and keep the perfect boyfriend!"

BWW "I just got back from the Dimensional Market! Why the HECK are there NO decent dresses!!! Nothing but spandex, and Pin-Up Girl outfits!!!!"

Good Gaming, GaredBattlespike

who is Joseph Prosek II taking to the annual coalition ball

Mech-Viper Prime wrote:who is Joseph Prosek II taking to the annual coalition ball

"What am I going to wear to it?"

"Is a thong too dressy?"

"Is he a groper or an ogler?"

taalismn wrote:

Mech-Viper Prime wrote:who is Joseph Prosek II taking to the annual coalition ball

"What am I going to wear to it?"

"Is a thong too dressy?"

"Is he a groper or an ogler?"

He is a BOTH.......and no I will NOT explain how I know that.

"I CALL SHOTGUN!"

"Hey, if Suzzie can bring her big pillow, I get to bring my waterbed! Don't give me that 'we don't have room' %$&^!!!"

"If that damn Sploogie plays, [I like big butts] as a battle song one more time I swear....................."

"No, Sluggo, NO! YOU -SIGNAL- A LANE CHANGE!!!-SIGNAL-!!! LEFT-TURN-SIGNAL!!!! Who the hell taught you to drive anyways?!!! You blind or something?! No, scratch that, -I'M- blind, and I can still drive better than you!"

"I wonder what 75% of blind warrior women are thinking about?"

"No WONDER we're lost! You have the map upside down!"

"That's right, call us blind, you bozos. 'Cause we can really see..."

*Sniff*sniff* "Is Sluggy wearing 'Bruit'?"

they wondering what is happening on As the Coalition turns
Is Lady Prosek going to left Karl for Lord Coake?
What will Karl do?
Will little jojo find true love?
Will Erin Tarn save Karl from a broken heart?

I... SEE you.

You know if we have to travel so damn far why don't we have recliners? You know I've got a new appreciation for Ms. Muffit fraking tuffit.

So... how do you keep your body suit from riding up?

Hey if you think we got it bad with camel toe slimey has the mother of all moose knuckles

Sooooo... who thought it was hot to wear combat boots with these body suits?

BWW1: Your donnor wears combat boots!
BWW2: Yeah... well so does yours.
BWW1: Yeah, that was a pretty dumb insult... who thought that was a good idea anyway?

Sooo because these outfits are so small we have INCREASED damage capacity??? That makes as much sense as a 7 foot tall super athletic hairy biped choosing to live on a forest moon with 3 foot tall super lethargic hairy bipeds... it just doesn't make sense.

I hope the slaver braided my hair currently.

"I don't care if others think I am fat. I certainly don't see myself as fat..."

~ Josh

Someday, somewhere, I will find my prince charming........ And hopefully get a good deal selling him at the market...

taalismn wrote:"....mmmm....pork rinds...."

"...Rifts World Book Twenty-One: Blind Warrior Women....nice sound..."

"As soon as I figure how to get Sluggo on the hook, we're going fishing!"

"Blind Warrior Women merchandise...as soon as we get the licensing done...*KA-CHING*KA-CHING!*"

"Damn it, I SHOULDA been in a Rifter Swimsuit Issue!"

There, fixed it!

Is my outfit really appropriate for Palladium Books?

taalismn wrote:
"Damn it, I coulda been in a Rifter Swimsuit Issue!

And woulda if Apollo ever finnished that darn piece of art.

Zer0 Kay wrote:

taalismn wrote:
"Damn it, I coulda been in a Rifter Swimsuit Issue!

And woulda if Apollo ever finnished that darn piece of art.

I'd be quite happy if there was never another Rifter Swimsuit Issue ever again. The Rifter Swimsuit Issues are the RPG book equivalent of that fat unwashed 40-something virginal loser with an "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body" t-shirt at the local gaming store. It takes an idea that was neither clever nor sexy to begin with and turns the pathetic up to 11.