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taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Meanwhile in the depths of GMP lockup...
Barney:
Bubba, the 280lb High Tech Bandit: (Jumping off the top bunk, unbuttoning his shirt) "Damn strait!"
"Mister Embryo, meet your cellmates."
taalismn wrote:"This is...not what I'm accustomed to."
"What?! You were expecting teenagers wearing only aprons?"
"Whatley used to go around wearing only an apron."
"...how could you tell?"
"He told me."
"Don't believe everything Whatley said...He was bucking for a 'diminished capacity defense'."
"I have no idea what the hell you people are talking about and already I have a headache."
"No, you'll know when you have a headache."
"Oh?"
"Because we're going to give you one."
as the room is lit by intermittent flashes, and the shadow of Jill violently convulsing)taalismn wrote:Good Reasons Why Cross Ange/Robotech Crossovers Are a BAD Idea:
"What are you doing?"
Jill: "This is just a medical exam-"
RIPshove-
##ZZAAARRPPP##
"-hagadahagadahagadahagadahagadahagadahagada-"
(Emma's face looking on in shock
<<CRACKLE>> @SLAM@
(Cut to Jill slumped unconscious against the wall, her prosthetic arm glowing hot, smoke pouring off her smoldering uniform)
Janic Em: (standing up off the exam table and straightening her clothes) "I'm pretty sure that's not how you do a medical exam."
"Was it good for you?" 
SRoss wrote:Ange: "Frying pan!?! Ok, that explains the gunshot, but how'd Momoka survive being hit by the van, the fall and the explosion."
SRoss: "Wwwweeellll"
Cut to Flashback...
Valhalla ... the Hall of Heroes.
The valkyries surround Momoka as Odin tries to explain to her that she isn't here to serve, she's here to be served. A blue box appears next to the group.
SRoss: "Hey Momoka, if you want to get back to Ange, hurry up! The guy I'm borrowing this from is very impatient..."
SRoss wrote:"You should have seen the cut scene.
R2-D2: "WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" (Flies back into the wall)
J.A.N.I.C.E.: (Smoking slightly)
taalismn wrote:"...oh damn...the fortress's main power just shorted out...we're on emergency power..."
"What the hell caused it? We're not in combat!"
"Power source from the residential bloc..let's see if we can't localize it more...okay...get Doctor Nichols up here...we're going to have to give him the lecture about using 'protection' again...."
SRoss wrote:Ange: "Frying pan!?! Ok, that explains the gunshot, but how'd Momoka survive being hit by the van, the fall and the explosion."
SRoss: "Wwwweeellll"
Cut to Flashback...
Valhalla ... the Hall of Heroes.
The valkyries surround Momoka as Odin tries to explain to her that she isn't here to serve, she's here to be served. A blue box appears next to the group.
SRoss: "Hey Momoka, if you want to get back to Ange, hurry up! The guy I'm borrowing this from is very impatient..."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Ange: "Frying pan!?! Ok, that explains the gunshot, but how'd Momoka survive being hit by the van, the fall and the explosion."
SRoss: "Wwwweeellll"
Cut to Flashback...
Valhalla ... the Hall of Heroes.
The valkyries surround Momoka as Odin tries to explain to her that she isn't here to serve, she's here to be served. A blue box appears next to the group.
SRoss: "Hey Momoka, if you want to get back to Ange, hurry up! The guy I'm borrowing this from is very impatient..."
"...anybody seen my spare sonic screwdriver?"
...
"..and when I hold the button like THIS, see what happens?"
Embryo: "AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Tusk and Ange: "Ewwwwwwwwwww..."
taalismn wrote:"And if I twist the handle like THIS..."
"EYYYYYYUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"AWwwwwww....."
SRoss wrote:IceGuard Enhanced Interrogation Techniques: Addendum.
Remember ... They can't talk if they're bitten in half.
SRoss wrote:The Doctor: "Hmm, I didn't know the Sonic Screwdriver could be used as a suppository..."
SRoss wrote:Dawn Pillar...
As the time-space storm raged ... a flying sub, various mails and veritech fighters dueled with Embryo's drones and Ragna-Mails. On the ground, the VA-6, EVAs, hover tanks and the IceGuard charged into close combat range with the dozen or so Bolos under Embryo's control.
At the palace, the BSS and the Sisters of Clea Repentia emerged from washrooms and came to grips with the Royal Guard.
And in the midst of the chaos, on two worlds, the Civil Defence Corps tries to save as many civilians as they can.
"A villain who can do the multidimensional body switch trick! Sam, Clover, Alex! Any ideas?"
taalismn wrote:Please...if you're going to threaten the crippled(but not so crippled) brat with zombies, make them REAL honest-to-goodness flesh-eating ZOMBIES!!!
"Think we should save her?"
"If only to keep her from coming back as a zombie herself, yeah, okay."
"Okay, but if the mutant polar bears show up again."
"She's on her own, right."
SRoss wrote:Sylvia: (Approaching a group of armed and armoured maids) "Excuse me, I'm alone and in danger, can you help me?"
Sister #1: (Dropping an unconscious guardsman) "A CIVILIAN CHILD! QUICK SISTER TAKE HER TO THE CDU EVAC POINT!"
BSS Sargent: (Kicking a downed guardsman) "Umm, guys I think that's that cripple princess."
Sister #1: "RIGHT! A PRISONER! QUICK SISTER TAKE HER BACK THE WAY WE CAME TO INTELLIGENCE!"
Sister #2: (Carrying Sylvia under her arm) "YES MAM!!!" (Salutes and runs back towards the toilets.)
taalismn wrote:"We understand you're into 'enhanced interrogation techniques'. Here's one you might be unfamiliar with. It's called 'waterboarding'."
"Ah, com'on, Ripper, you're still reading from the CIA handbook! That's so yesteryear! I hear the Ice Guard have one called 'icefishing'."
"Yeah, Breaker, but that one requires a large body of polar-cold seawater, oceanic ice coverage, and mutant seals to properly pull off."
SRoss wrote:IceGuard Enhanced Interrogation Techniques: Addendum.
Remember ... They can't talk if they're bitten in half.
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:IceGuard Enhanced Interrogation Techniques: Addendum.
Remember ... They can't talk if they're bitten in half.
"You wanted them to talk?"
taalismn wrote:"We understand you're into 'enhanced interrogation techniques'. Here's one you might be unfamiliar with. It's called 'waterboarding'."
"Ah, com'on, Ripper, you're still reading from the CIA handbook! That's so yesteryear! I hear the Ice Guard have one called 'icefishing'."
"Yeah, Breaker, but that one requires a large body of polar-cold seawater, oceanic ice coverage, and mutant seals to properly pull off."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:IceGuard Enhanced Interrogation Techniques: Addendum.
Remember ... They can't talk if they're bitten in half.
"You wanted them to talk?"
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:"We understand you're into 'enhanced interrogation techniques'. Here's one you might be unfamiliar with. It's called 'waterboarding'."
"Ah, com'on, Ripper, you're still reading from the CIA handbook! That's so yesteryear! I hear the Ice Guard have one called 'icefishing'."
"Yeah, Breaker, but that one requires a large body of polar-cold seawater, oceanic ice coverage, and mutant seals to properly pull off."
Sylvia: "Umm, No thanks, the Royal privies and the capital's sewage system were enough water torture for a lifetime."
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:IceGuard Enhanced Interrogation Techniques: Addendum.
Remember ... They can't talk if they're bitten in half.
"You wanted them to talk?"
(Facepalms) "Right, I forgot ... they were assigned to IceGuard."
SRoss wrote:Meanwhile ... In the heart of the storm.
Harlock: "Arcadia. Prepare for battle..."
taalismn wrote:Embryo: "You're nothing but an Old World monkey!"
That's when Sergeant Kong hit him with the bridge overpass.
(Yes, Tusk was raised on Monster Island)
taalismn wrote:"He doesn't like to be called a monkey."
(This, as Embryo is repeatedly pounded into the pavement with various loose cars)
"..why...am...I...not...teleporting...into...a.... new...body...?!"
"Oh, and in case you can still hear me, we turned off that little 'teleport into a new body' trick of yours. Actually fairly simple, once we figured out how you were doing it."
"...oh...you...bastards...!!!"
Kargan3033 wrote:Commander Alex Jones: " Embryo you have annoyed me for the last time! "
*Presses a BIG SHINEY RED BUTTON*
Nameless Ice Guard Trooper#1:" Ok time to bug out people! "
Nameless Ice Guard Trooper#2:" Why are we bugging out for, we just got this party started? "
Nameless Ice Guard Trooper#1:" The Boss has just sent Patches to put this Embryo into the Cold Dark, so grab your gear and haul ass. "
Nameless Ice Guard Trooper#3:" Sounds like the Boss is in a bad mood to let Patches lose on Embryo. "
Nameless Ice Guard Trooper#2: " I don't get it, who or what is this Patches that has us bugging out for? "
Nameless Ice Guard Sargent#21: " Speical Oprative Patches is the type of guy that makes the Scarry Marines in action look a Care Bears's tea party. "
* Suddenly there is a massive explosion and when the smoke and dust clears the Nameless Ice Guard Troopers see a large shadowy like figure standing in a large, glowing crater*
Nameless Ice Guard Trooper#2:" OH MOMMY! "
Speical Operative Patches:" I LIVE AGAIN! "
taalismn wrote:I suddenly get this impression of Embryo even with his 'die-and-show-up-somewhere-else-alive' powers getting used in a massive city-scaled game of 'Whack-a-Mole'.
(pant-pant-pant)"...FINALLy got away! Now, to plan my..."
"THERE YOU ARE AGAIN."
"-oh shi-"
taalismn wrote:I'm reminded of the episode of 'Turn Signals on a Land Raider' where the Pointy Sticks are faced with an award-winning EPIC model of a Chaos Demonlord with more point value than the ENTIRE Emperor's Pointy Sticks Chapter are worth. They get around it by telling the Unsupervised Game Store Kid that the Chaos Lord is made of candy.
Though my favorite TSoaLR is when the Space Marine Scouts decide they want to sit out the coming battle by getting killed in the first round(having been tired out by spending the weekend in the game store, entertaining the resident Amazon-dominatrix figurines). Unfortunately, they accidentally catch the opposing Chaos Demon so completely offguard when they jump on him out of a tree swinging a chainsaw they kill HIM in the first round.
glitterboy2098 wrote:[it wasn't just the amazon figures.. they also were used as stand ins or proxies for dozens of games during the week..
taalismn wrote:I'm reminded of the episode of 'Turn Signals on a Land Raider' where the Pointy Sticks are faced with an award-winning EPIC model of a Chaos Demonlord with more point value than the ENTIRE Emperor's Pointy Sticks Chapter are worth. They get around it by telling the Unsupervised Game Store Kid that the Chaos Lord is made of candy.
Though my favorite TSoaLR is when the Space Marine Scouts decide they want to sit out the coming battle by getting killed in the first round(having been tired out by spending the weekend in the game store, entertaining the resident Amazon-dominatrix figurines). Unfortunately, they accidentally catch the opposing Chaos Demon so completely offguard when they jump on him out of a tree swinging a chainsaw they kill HIM in the first round.
glitterboy2098 wrote:taalismn wrote:I'm reminded of the episode of 'Turn Signals on a Land Raider' where the Pointy Sticks are faced with an award-winning EPIC model of a Chaos Demonlord with more point value than the ENTIRE Emperor's Pointy Sticks Chapter are worth. They get around it by telling the Unsupervised Game Store Kid that the Chaos Lord is made of candy.
Though my favorite TSoaLR is when the Space Marine Scouts decide they want to sit out the coming battle by getting killed in the first round(having been tired out by spending the weekend in the game store, entertaining the resident Amazon-dominatrix figurines). Unfortunately, they accidentally catch the opposing Chaos Demon so completely offguard when they jump on him out of a tree swinging a chainsaw they kill HIM in the first round.
it wasn't just the amazon figures.. they also were used as stand ins or proxies for dozens of games during the week..
taalismn wrote:glitterboy2098 wrote:[it wasn't just the amazon figures.. they also were used as stand ins or proxies for dozens of games during the week..
The Eldar Exarch dropping spastic of his own combat drugs just as battle was about to begin was also quite amusing.
But for Deus Ex Machina, invoking the Unsupervised Game Store Kid was inspired dirty pool.
glitterboy2098 wrote:have you read the proxy wars comics?
http://www.geeknationtours.com/index.php?pageid=23
glitterboy2098 wrote:have you read the proxy wars comics?
http://www.geeknationtours.com/index.php?pageid=23
Never heard of them until today. Nice!taalismn wrote:glitterboy2098 wrote:have you read the proxy wars comics?
http://www.geeknationtours.com/index.php?pageid=23
Which has me thinking of some of the parodies of NGE where the SEELE council are all hiding behind giant dominos...
taalismn wrote:"Okay...so where is everybody?"
"Over filming at the alternate location."
"WHAT alternate location?"
"Couple of unused rooms in the media lab over at some school in Monument City."
"So why are they filming over there?"
"Because we can't use the sets HERE. Fumugating."
"For what?"
////GRRRAHHH!!!//
"Xenomorphs apparently. Pardon me..."
***INCINERATE***
"That's better. Pesky damned bastards. You good?"
"....just a moment. I'm mourning my eyebrows..."
"Err ... Well, I was lonely one weekend ... and he's sooo charming..." 
taalismn wrote:Ersha: "I'm back! I'm dead! Nope. I'm alive!"
Vivian: "You seem to have a male admirer."
Emma:"How many tons does a male DRAGON weigh?"
Lizardia: "Hmmmm...good snack...ever though of going into business for yourself?"
Chris: "So, in spite of the fact that I hate you all, and I laughed maniacally when I carved up the newbie, still want me back?"
Rosalie: "I can always kill you later."
Jill: "Tusk...I could have been...your STEPMOTHER!"
Tusk: "I had sex with Ange,.... for twelve hours. BURN."
Embryo: "UGHH! YOU LIE!!"
Tusk: "I'm afraid of nothing now...well, maybe giant squid, but who isn't?"
Jill: "MY SPLEEN!"
Aura: "Look! Tripart jaws! I'm a flying sandworm!"
Ange: "You again."
Embryo: "Me again. You don't get to sleep around. Only me."
Salia: "Gee, we only have one episode left! HOW ARE WE GOING TO WRAP THIS ALL UP?!"
taalismn wrote:Jill: "...ack....a little help here....?"
SRoss wrote:Seeing, Ange teleported leaving her clothes and ring behind...
"Alright! Who gave Embryo Ferengi transporter technology!?!"
Megara:
Fourth Wall Gang:
taalismn wrote:Ersha: "I;m back! I'm dead! Nope. I'm alive!"
Vivian: "You seem to have a male admirer."
Emma:"How many tons does a male DRAGON weigh?"
Lizardia: "Hmmmm...good snack...ever thought of going into business for yourself?"
Chris: "So, in spite of the fact that I hate you all, and I laughed maniacally when I carved up the newbie, still want me back?"
Rosalie: "I can always kill you latter."
Jill: "Tusk...I could have been...your STEPMOTHER!"
Tusk: "I had sex with Ange,.... for twelve hours. BURN."
Embryo: "UGHH! YOU LIE!!"
Tusk: "I'm afraid of nothing now...well, maybe giant squid, but who isn't?"
Jill: "MY SPLEEN!"
Aura: "Look! Tripart jaws! I'm a flying sandworm!"
Ange: "You again."
Embryo: "Me again. You don't get to sleep around. Only me."
Salia: "Gee, we only have one episode left! HOW ARE WE GOING TO WRAP THIS ALL UP?!"
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Ersha: "I'm back! I'm dead! Nope. I'm alive!"
Vivian: "You seem to have a male admirer."
Emma:"How many tons does a male DRAGON weigh?"
Lizardia: "Hmmmm...good snack...ever though of going into business for yourself?"
Chris: "So, in spite of the fact that I hate you all, and I laughed maniacally when I carved up the newbie, still want me back?"
Rosalie: "I can always kill you later."
Jill: "Tusk...I could have been...your STEPMOTHER!"
Tusk: "I had sex with Ange,.... for twelve hours. BURN."
Embryo: "UGHH! YOU LIE!!"
Tusk: "I'm afraid of nothing now...well, maybe giant squid, but who isn't?"
Jill: "MY SPLEEN!"
Aura: "Look! Tripart jaws! I'm a flying sandworm!"
Ange: "You again."
Embryo: "Me again. You don't get to sleep around. Only me."
Salia: "Gee, we only have one episode left! HOW ARE WE GOING TO WRAP THIS ALL UP?!"
Momoka: "Oh no! The corridor exploded! Good thing I kept that frying pan."
SRoss: "Giant Squid!?! Alright! Who called Cthulhu!?!"
taalismn wrote:Tusk: "And yogurt. Something about yogurt always raises my hackles."
Ange: "WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHERE TUSK KEEPS GETTING HIS NICE WHITE DRESS SHIRTS! THEY'RE NOT HOMESPUN! AND I"VE GONE THROUGH AT LEAST THREE OF THEM!"
Jill: "...ack....a little help here....?"
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Jill: "...ack....a little help here....?"
Washu: "Did someone just ask for help?"
taalismn wrote:Sylvia Ikaruga Misurugi wakes up in a bathroom somewhere in the Imperial Palace and is shocked to find herself in a bathtub filled with ice water, thick bandages around her midsection.
"UUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
taalismn wrote:Major Jones: "I've been around long enough, Doctor Smith, to be quietly and utterly terrified for both myself and humanity when I see that smile on your face. If I may ask so I can brace the crisis management teams for the worst...?"
Doctor Smith: "Let's just say that I figured out how to do a properly evil karmic deed and a good karmic deed in the same action, with the net effect that whatever powers that be that tabulate such things are surely going nuts with frustration."
Jill: "...ughh....where am I? And why am I still alive?"
Maggy: "Relax, Jill, you're recovering from abdominal organ transplant surgery. The Ice Guard medics who brought you in said you'd gotten at least a kidney, spleen, and some intestine grafted in."
Jill: "...huh? They GROW spare organs or something?"
Meanwhile:
Sylvia Ikaruga Misurugi wakes up in a bathroom somewhere in the Imperial Palace and is shocked to find herself in a bathtub filled with ice water, thick bandages around her midsection.
"UUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
If that really happen to someone, I don't think they would live very long, would they?SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Sylvia Ikaruga Misurugi wakes up in a bathroom somewhere in the Imperial Palace and is shocked to find herself in a bathtub filled with ice water, thick bandages around her midsection.
"UUUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Gloval: (Handing her a lit pipe) "Here, I think you need this more then I do..."
