Re: Monument City Highschool #69(open humor thread)
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2015 1:20 am
Wasn't a certain ex-KGB type who served as Major Jones second in command, also moonlighting as the Vice Principal?
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SRoss wrote:Wasn't a certain ex-KGB type who served as Major Jones second in command, also moonlighting as the Vice Principal?
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Wasn't a certain ex-KGB type who served as Major Jones second in command, also moonlighting as the Vice Principal?
Federoff; in a rare moment of sobriety he decided to go BACK to Ice Guard on a field trip with some students, but apparently ran into some 'old friends' from the KGB. The outside world thinks he's dead, having vanished with said students. However, the KGB hit squad has ALSO not been heard from again either.
Kargan3033 wrote:[
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
Plus the KGB underestimated the fat drunk guy, not realizing he HADN'T drunk himself into a stupor.
Plus the previous KGB teams with any cold weather experience(and the wits to avoid standing on an avalanche-prone ridge) were all either dorking with the CWOS or had been already eaten in previous encounters with Ice Guard's perimeter.
Kargan3033 wrote:Basicly the Ice Gaurd is the cold weather version of the Catchens(SP)death worlders as far as I can tell.
glitterboy2098 wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:Basicly the Ice Gaurd is the cold weather version of the Catchens(SP)death worlders as far as I can tell.
that would be the Valhallan ice Warriors, actually.
(and it's spelled catachan. )
glitterboy2098 wrote:Valhallans have to deal with Squigs and other alien orkoid life the Orks brought to their world. plus their world is an iced over practically dead planet.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
Plus the KGB underestimated the fat drunk guy, not realizing he HADN'T drunk himself into a stupor.
Plus the previous KGB teams with any cold weather experience(and the wits to avoid standing on an avalanche-prone ridge) were all either dorking with the CWOS or had been already eaten in previous encounters with Ice Guard's perimeter.
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
Plus the KGB underestimated the fat drunk guy, not realizing he HADN'T drunk himself into a stupor.
Plus the previous KGB teams with any cold weather experience(and the wits to avoid standing on an avalanche-prone ridge) were all either dorking with the CWOS or had been already eaten in previous encounters with Ice Guard's perimeter.
Also he has an autographed picture of This Guy on his desk.
taalismn wrote:Plus, being chased around the Ice Guard base by mutant polar bears and killer whales is a GREAT exercise regimen for making one fast on the feet.
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Wasn't a certain ex-KGB type who served as Major Jones second in command, also moonlighting as the Vice Principal?
Federoff; in a rare moment of sobriety he decided to go BACK to Ice Guard on a field trip with some students, but apparently ran into some 'old friends' from the KGB. The outside world thinks he's dead, having vanished with said students. However, the KGB hit squad has ALSO not been heard from again either.
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Wasn't a certain ex-KGB type who served as Major Jones second in command, also moonlighting as the Vice Principal?
Federoff; in a rare moment of sobriety he decided to go BACK to Ice Guard on a field trip with some students, but apparently ran into some 'old friends' from the KGB. The outside world thinks he's dead, having vanished with said students. However, the KGB hit squad has ALSO not been heard from again either.
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
Plus the KGB underestimated the fat drunk guy, not realizing he HADN'T drunk himself into a stupor.
Plus the previous KGB teams with any cold weather experience(and the wits to avoid standing on an avalanche-prone ridge) were all either dorking with the CWOS or had been already eaten in previous encounters with Ice Guard's perimeter.
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
Plus the KGB underestimated the fat drunk guy, not realizing he HADN'T drunk himself into a stupor.
Plus the previous KGB teams with any cold weather experience(and the wits to avoid standing on an avalanche-prone ridge) were all either dorking with the CWOS or had been already eaten in previous encounters with Ice Guard's perimeter.
If anyone in the RT Verse got warped to the WH40k Verse the Ice Gurad would be the ones who would most likely to survive for any length of time.
Basicly the Ice Gaurd is the cold weather version of the Catchens(SP)death worlders as far as I can tell.
glitterboy2098 wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:Basicly the Ice Gaurd is the cold weather version of the Catchens(SP)death worlders as far as I can tell.
that would be the Valhallan ice Warriors, actually.
(and it's spelled catachan. )
Kargan3033 wrote:glitterboy2098 wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:Basicly the Ice Gaurd is the cold weather version of the Catchens(SP)death worlders as far as I can tell.
that would be the Valhallan ice Warriors, actually.
(and it's spelled catachan. )
No I was not thinking of the Valhallans, I was thinking of the Catachans due to the mutant arctic wild life that the Ice Guard has to deal with.
I wonder if Mauve Squadron would be concidered to be a penal legion in WH40k, or they might be concidered to be pure Chaos made flesh.
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
What can one say other then the Ice Guard look after there own since the rest of the world has pretty much writen them off.
Plus the KGB underestimated the fat drunk guy, not realizing he HADN'T drunk himself into a stupor.
Plus the previous KGB teams with any cold weather experience(and the wits to avoid standing on an avalanche-prone ridge) were all either dorking with the CWOS or had been already eaten in previous encounters with Ice Guard's perimeter.
Also he has an autographed picture of This Guy on his desk.
taalismn wrote:Plus, being chased around the Ice Guard base by mutant polar bears and killer whales is a GREAT exercise regimen for making one fast on the feet.
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:Plus, being chased around the Ice Guard base by mutant polar bears and killer whales is a GREAT exercise regimen for making one fast on the feet.
Yep and not to metion restraining/captuering a live specimen for Dr.Smith's *resreach* to toughen one up.
Kargan3033 wrote:
Yep and not to metion restraining/captuering a live specimen for Dr.Smith's *resreach* to toughen one up.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:
Yep and not to metion restraining/captuering a live specimen for Dr.Smith's *resreach* to toughen one up.
Comes under the heading of 'Worst Jobs'.
Actually there is a worse one than that...'Sampling the intestinal fauna/flora of a live specimen for Dr. Smith's research'.
There's also 'Unwitting Human Test Subject Ordered Up by Dr. Koonitz'...as in some poor schmoe who gets off the plane, blinks, starts saying "I don't understand, I'm here to meet Dr. Koonitz-' and gets tranked and carried off the tarmac by said Dr. Koonitz to her lab(cryogenics and suspended animation research). IG veterans call these folks 'popsicles walking', 'frozen sunshine'(as most come off the plane thinking they were bound for the tropics), or 'fresh canned clueless'.
Kargan3033 wrote:[
Nice!, I wonder what the children from the pairing of Dr.Smith and Dr.Koonitz would be like, let alone how the courting between those two would go.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
Nice!, I wonder what the children from the pairing of Dr.Smith and Dr.Koonitz would be like, let alone how the courting between those two would go.
The local 'Lovers' Lane' would be curiously denuded of other couples after their visit...unless the other young people made their Genre-Savvy rolls with regards to 'Mad Scientist Stalkers' and 'Romantic Young Couples in Isolated Regions'.
taalismn wrote:They're competent doctors; it's just that, well..."How do you feel about prenatal genetic enhancement and restructuring?' isn't what most expectant mothers expect to hear from their physician...
taalismn wrote:Yep, save vs HF, -2 if they've SEEN the movie 'It's Alive!'.
taalismn wrote:"Okay, maybe it would be easier to ask, who in this classroom ISN'T a mutant? Raise your hands. Like right now. Like, so I can see you? Don't be afraid, you won't be judged."
taalismn wrote:Run for it! He means to propagate his species!
(Fails genre-savvy roll)"You know, you're pretty cute too!"
Friend: "Wear protection...like CVR-3 armor...and use birth control."(shoves a fully loaded grenade launcher in the first girl's bookbag).
Peacebringer wrote:Did not the Zentraedi attack kill about 99% of human-life on Earth? They would have a thousand-yard stare after witness their parents, brothers and sisters getting vaporized from above.
They would play games like, who can make a bigger pile of skulls.
Peacebringer wrote:Did not the Zentraedi attack kill about 99% of human-life on Earth? They would have a thousand-yard stare after witness their parents, brothers and sisters getting vaporized from above.
They would play games like, who can make a bigger pile of skulls.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:
Yep and not to metion restraining/captuering a live specimen for Dr.Smith's *resreach* to toughen one up.
Comes under the heading of 'Worst Jobs'.
Actually there is a worse one than that...'Sampling the intestinal fauna/flora of a live specimen for Dr. Smith's research'.
There's also 'Unwitting Human Test Subject Ordered Up by Dr. Koonitz'...as in some poor schmoe who gets off the plane, blinks, starts saying "I don't understand, I'm here to meet Dr. Koonitz-' and gets tranked and carried off the tarmac by said Dr. Koonitz to her lab(cryogenics and suspended animation research). IG veterans call these folks 'popsicles walking', 'frozen sunshine'(as most come off the plane thinking they were bound for the tropics), or 'fresh canned clueless'.
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:
Yep and not to metion restraining/captuering a live specimen for Dr.Smith's *resreach* to toughen one up.
Comes under the heading of 'Worst Jobs'.
Actually there is a worse one than that...'Sampling the intestinal fauna/flora of a live specimen for Dr. Smith's research'.
There's also 'Unwitting Human Test Subject Ordered Up by Dr. Koonitz'...as in some poor schmoe who gets off the plane, blinks, starts saying "I don't understand, I'm here to meet Dr. Koonitz-' and gets tranked and carried off the tarmac by said Dr. Koonitz to her lab(cryogenics and suspended animation research). IG veterans call these folks 'popsicles walking', 'frozen sunshine'(as most come off the plane thinking they were bound for the tropics), or 'fresh canned clueless'.
Nice!, I wonder what the children from the pairing of Dr.Smith and Dr.Koonitz would be like, let alone how the courting between those two would go.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
Nice!, I wonder what the children from the pairing of Dr.Smith and Dr.Koonitz would be like, let alone how the courting between those two would go.
The local 'Lovers' Lane' would be curiously denuded of other couples after their visit...unless the other young people made their Genre-Savvy rolls with regards to 'Mad Scientist Stalkers' and 'Romantic Young Couples in Isolated Regions'.
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
Nice!, I wonder what the children from the pairing of Dr.Smith and Dr.Koonitz would be like, let alone how the courting between those two would go.
The local 'Lovers' Lane' would be curiously denuded of other couples after their visit...unless the other young people made their Genre-Savvy rolls with regards to 'Mad Scientist Stalkers' and 'Romantic Young Couples in Isolated Regions'.
Good point I wonder if any of the Female Ice Guards would have to make a PE roll at -5 to safely give birth to their children if either of the Doctors are on call at the time.
taalismn wrote:They're competent doctors; it's just that, well..."How do you feel about prenatal genetic enhancement and restructuring?' isn't what most expectant mothers expect to hear from their physician...
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:They're competent doctors; it's just that, well..."How do you feel about prenatal genetic enhancement and restructuring?' isn't what most expectant mothers expect to hear from their physician...
..Right before they are given the aniestetic, if that the case would it be a save VS HF?
taalismn wrote:Yep, save vs HF, -2 if they've SEEN the movie 'It's Alive!'.
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:Yep, save vs HF, -2 if they've SEEN the movie 'It's Alive!'.
I loved that movie and the sequeals that came after it.
Would they have to make a save VS HF at -8 if they have seen Rosemarry's Baby?, Alien, Humanoids Of The Deep?
Kargan3033 wrote:Random Male MCHS#69 Student: " Note to self do NOT Invite the Regis over to smoke a few joints with me and my girlfriend and watch 80's B-grade horror movies "
taalismn wrote:"Okay, maybe it would be easier to ask, who in this classroom ISN'T a mutant? Raise your hands. Like right now. Like, so I can see you? Don't be afraid, you won't be judged."
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:"Okay, maybe it would be easier to ask, who in this classroom ISN'T a mutant? Raise your hands. Like right now. Like, so I can see you? Don't be afraid, you won't be judged."
After Friday's lunch of " Invid Food Day " the prices of medical insurence in Monument City reachs into seven digets
Kargan3033 wrote:Random MCHS#69 science teahcer: " Class today we have a new student joining us. "
*The rest of science class watches as tall young man with slightly jundced skin walks into the class*
Random MCHS#69 science teacher:" Welcome to Monument City Highschool Number sixty-nine, tell us your name Young Man? "
New Student:" I am Zacus. "
*The rest of the students watch as the some what tacturn boy walks towards an empty desk, then stop in front of a young girl.*
Zacus:" You have good genetic meterial. "
taalismn wrote:Run for it! He means to propagate his species!
(Fails genre-savvy roll)"You know, you're pretty cute too!"
Friend: "Wear protection...like CVR-3 armor...and use birth control."(shoves a fully loaded grenade launcher in the first girl's bookbag).
Peacebringer wrote:Did not the Zentraedi attack kill about 99% of human-life on Earth? They would have a thousand-yard stare after witness their parents, brothers and sisters getting vaporized from above.
They would play games like, who can make a bigger pile of skulls.
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:Run for it! He means to propagate his species!
(Fails genre-savvy roll)"You know, you're pretty cute too!"
Friend: "Wear protection...like CVR-3 armor...and use birth control."(shoves a fully loaded grenade launcher in the first girl's bookbag).
Not bad but you failed your genre-savvy roll.
Kargan3033 wrote:Peacebringer wrote:Did not the Zentraedi attack kill about 99% of human-life on Earth? They would have a thousand-yard stare after witness their parents, brothers and sisters getting vaporized from above.
They would play games like, who can make a bigger pile of skulls.
That's just a typical Monday morring to these students.
taalismn wrote:Peacebringer wrote:Did not the Zentraedi attack kill about 99% of human-life on Earth? They would have a thousand-yard stare after witness their parents, brothers and sisters getting vaporized from above.
They would play games like, who can make a bigger pile of skulls.
Indeed. But MHS#69 students were mainly born into the post-Rain Earth, so they know it as their world(Dana Sterling was most likely conceived AFTER the Rain of Death, and frankly had to be de-aged a few years by author fiat in order to attend) . They've learned duck-and-cover as practical matters, and civil defense preparedness as a matter of course. Then we get to the dysfunctionalism, like pimping their bicycles with weapons, and eating the school gerbils(raw)...at least until they imported lemmings from the Arctic Circle, and the situation reversed.
taalismn wrote:A correction: It's not Doctor Koonitz who's ordering up human guinea pigs and drugging them before anybody at the annex can notice them, it's Doctor Renna Minitz.
Doctor Koonitz is interested in extreme cold(Absolute Zero), while Doctor Minitz is more interested in the biological effects if cold. Of course, given how Koonitz and Minitz often collaborate, it may be only a matter of time before Dr. Koonitz decides to see if she can't use super-cooled nervous tissue or use cryogenically suspended human brains as part of a quantum computer system....
Kargan3033 wrote:[
Yep even thought that was done in Gammaworld under TSR but the only problem with that kind of problem is the brain death that is induced by tramatic brain freeze.
taalismn wrote:A correction: It's not Doctor Koonitz who's ordering up human guinea pigs and drugging them before anybody at the annex can notice them, it's Doctor Renna Minitz.
Doctor Koonitz is interested in extreme cold(Absolute Zero), while Doctor Minitz is more interested in the biological effects if cold. Of course, given how Koonitz and Minitz often collaborate, it may be only a matter of time before Dr. Koonitz decides to see if she can't use super-cooled nervous tissue or use cryogenically suspended human brains as part of a quantum computer system....
Kargan3033 wrote:taalismn wrote:A correction: It's not Doctor Koonitz who's ordering up human guinea pigs and drugging them before anybody at the annex can notice them, it's Doctor Renna Minitz.
Doctor Koonitz is interested in extreme cold(Absolute Zero), while Doctor Minitz is more interested in the biological effects if cold. Of course, given how Koonitz and Minitz often collaborate, it may be only a matter of time before Dr. Koonitz decides to see if she can't use super-cooled nervous tissue or use cryogenically suspended human brains as part of a quantum computer system....
Yep even thought that was done in Gammaworld under TSR but the only problem with that kind of problem is the brain death that is induced by tramatic brain freeze.
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
Yep even thought that was done in Gammaworld under TSR but the only problem with that kind of problem is the brain death that is induced by tramatic brain freeze.
Yeah, a brain is a horrible thing to waste.
Arnie100 wrote:Dr. Waashu: "Someone wanted a brain worked on?"
Arnie100 wrote:"Who IS this doctor?! She's --"
"She can hear you!!"
Waashu: "I promise this won't hurt...a LOT."
Arnie100 wrote:"Who IS this doctor?! She's --"
"She can hear you!!"
Waashu: "I promise this won't hurt...a LOT."
taalismn wrote:Arnie100 wrote:"Who IS this doctor?! She's --"
"She can hear you!!"
Waashu: "I promise this won't hurt...a LOT."
"See? If I touch this nerve-"
Embryo: "GGGYYYYYYYYYYAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"I've never seen a man kick himself in the groin like that!"
"Wanna see it again?"
"Sure!"
"GGGYYYYYYYYYYAAGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
SRoss wrote:[
UEG Minister #2: "Howabout the time you convinced us to appoint Mirya as Mayor of New Monument City?"
taalismn wrote:"Now watch what happens when I use the blowtorch!"
"I was wondering why you'd borrowed that from the Shop teacher."
SRoss wrote:Of course what many people wonder is why the UEG would put so many dangerous students and faculty together in one place? They assume because of the name, Monument City Highschool #69 is located somewhere near Monument City.
Cut to ... the bridge...
The Student Council: (Looking at the planet below) "They must never know."
Cut to outside view ...
The camera pans back from the side of a modified Colony Class ship to show the Hull Numbers MCH #69...
taalismn wrote:Shop Teacher: "THis semester, boys and girls, your semester project will be to restore a derelict superdimensional fortress!"
Student: "Ah...can't we just make sheet metal tool boxes?"
Teacher: "Not if you want to pass this class."
Student: "I'd be happy to just survive..."
SRoss wrote:UEG Minister: "Who's boneheaded idea was it to give them a ship!?!"
Minister of Education: "Hey! When have any of my ideas been boneheaded?"
UEG Minister #2: "Howabout the time you convinced us to appoint Mirya as Mayor of New Monument City?"
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:[
UEG Minister #2: "Howabout the time you convinced us to appoint Mirya as Mayor of New Monument City?"
"Honey, 'drive-thru' doesn't mean 'drive-THROUGH'."