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Kargan3033 wrote:[
The Random Medtech is quickly section8'ed and placed on heavy duty drugs due to the mental scaring after her conversation with Tolliver in her very own *Comfy Room* at *Club Med*

The -other- female medtech listening in on the conversation just chimes in with the question "And how does she handle the cramps?"

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[
The Random Medtech is quickly section8'ed and placed on heavy duty drugs due to the mental scaring after her conversation with Tolliver in her very own *Comfy Room* at *Club Med*

The -other- female medtech listening in on the conversation just chimes in with the question "And how does she handle the cramps?"

Darkraven quietly mutters, "By psychically shunting them off to others within a fifty mile radius."

wyrmraker wrote:

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[
The Random Medtech is quickly section8'ed and placed on heavy duty drugs due to the mental scaring after her conversation with Tolliver in her very own *Comfy Room* at *Club Med*

The -other- female medtech listening in on the conversation just chimes in with the question "And how does she handle the cramps?"

Darkraven quietly mutters, "By psychically shunting them off to others within a fifty mile radius."

Distance between the hive and IceGuard Base = 49 miles.

SRoss wrote:[

Distance between the hive and IceGuard Base = 49 miles.

Yah, EVERYBODY on base gets to know the calender.

Darkraven: "And people wonder why I prefer to work FAR AWAY from 'civilization'."

wyrmraker wrote:Darkraven: "And people wonder why I prefer to work FAR AWAY from 'civilization'."

"That...and 'Teletubbies' marathons."

Hello Kitty Marines: "We come seeking battle with the Twilight Squadron..."

SRoss wrote:Hello Kitty Marines: "We come seeking battle with the Twilight Squadron..."

"See that black soot mark over there? That's them."

(Meanwhile, at Charon's Landing)
"...as I was ABOUT to say, we DON'T have any vampires in our squadron! But they all just jumped to conclusions!"
"Ah, maybe they thought we meant 'ponies'?"
"NO PONIES either!"

Cut to...

Ryoko and Ayeka carrying a bound and gagged Tenchi, racing ahead of a pack a ravening school girls and Invid Princesses.

SRoss wrote:Cut to...

Ryoko and Ayeka carrying a bound and gagged Tenchi, racing ahead of a pack a ravening school girls and Invid Princesses.

Hmmm...Ryoko can fly and phase, but Invid Princesses can teleport....yeah, this is going to get..interesting..

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Cut to...

Ryoko and Ayeka carrying a bound and gagged Tenchi, racing ahead of a pack a ravening school girls and Invid Princesses.

Hmmm...Ryoko can fly and phase, but Invid Princesses can teleport....yeah, this is going to get..interesting..

Well if anything Tenchi is not going to die of a heart attack with the Ice Guard level cadro work out he is getting in dodging the fan girl squad from hell.

Which just makes the fan girls all the more hell bent on capturing him because he has such a *good blood flow* through out his body.

Kargan3033 wrote:[
Which just makes the fan girls all the more hell bent on capturing him because he has such a *good blood flow* through out his body.

Given the dating scene on these threads, anything that still has a regular pulse qualifies.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[
Which just makes the fan girls all the more hell bent on capturing him because he has such a *good blood flow* through out his body.

Given the dating scene on these threads, anything that still has a regular pulse qualifies.

" Ahh the *intoxicating* stench of female desperation. "

"Do we really need men if we have cloning?"

*Cut to the scene of a dirty, dingy bar on the ass end of the galaxy*

Shinji: " I think we'll be safe here. "

Tenchi: " I hope so I don't know how much long I can keep running from those loony psycho b****es. "

Unknown Man: " Ahh gentleman it seems like you both are in a bit of trouble. " he said in an over done Australian accent.

Shinji and Tenchi:

Unknown Man: " Allow me to introduce myself, I am Count Du Money, a trouble shooter of no small fame. "

Shinji and Tenchi *look at one another then look at the Count*

Count Du Money: " Judging from the looks of you two you both seem to be having trouble of the *Feminine* kind am I right? "

Tenchi: " Look nothing against you personally but we don't know you from a hole in the ground. "

Count Du Money: " Oh I understand completely and I'm not offended in the lest. " *waves at a topless waitress and orders some drinks.

* Once the drinks arrive the Count slips a 50 credit note in the topless waitress's ratty G-string*

Count Du Money: " so what kind of trouble are the two of you in? " he asked as he take a large drink of his high tess drink.

Tenchi & Shinji: *Look at their drinks and are debating on rather or not they should drink them after the long hours of dodge the mob of rabid fan girls that want to do *unspeakable* things to them for a week straight*

Tenchi: *takes a sip of this drink to try and relax as he is considering hiring the Count to get them as far away from the mob of horny, crazed fan girls as possible*

Shinji* who's *issues* have an entire multi dimensional multi media broadcast company down half his drink in one go. *

*Suddenly there is lound, feminine squealing that make Tenchi and Shinji dive for cover*

Count Du Money:

*Count Du Money just relaxes as he sees that the feminine squealing was from one of the topless waitresses because one of the fairly drunken patrons dropped an ice cube down the back of her ratty G-string*

Count Du Money: " Relax guys it's safe. " * he says to Shinji and Tenchi who crawl out from under the table as they realize that the mob of lust addled stalkers have not found them and sit back at the table.*

*Shinji and Tenchi finish off their drinks as they try to relax from the false alarm that nearly gave them a heart attack*

Count Du Money: " It looks like your situation is far, far, FAR worse then I have be led to believe. "

*Suddenly Tenchi and Shinji drop to the floor passed out cold, not only from their strong drinks but also that the Count had slipped a large amount of xenomorph tranquilizers in their drinks when they had duck and covered in misplaced fear*

Count Du Money:* securing Tenchi and Shinji in inescapable restraints after stripping them naked*, " Nothing personal, but your asses have been brought and paid for and I ALWAYS complete my job, but for what it is worth I can afford to buy an entire universe with what I'm getting paid for this job. "

*One week later in an unknown location*

Count Du Money:" As I promised, two *lovely* male teenager idols delivered to you. "

*One shadowy figure steps forwards from a large group of shadowy figures*

Shadowy Figure#1 :*with a distorted voice*, " You have done well, we are pleased with your work. "

Count Du Money looks at his wrist computer and sees a *LARGE* number followed by an even *LARGER* set of zeros has been deposited into his untraceable bank account*, " The pleasure was all mine. ", *walks away from the bound and slumbering Shinji, Tenchi and the group of shadowy figures.

Count Du Money:*lighting up a nasty ass smelling cigar* " Life is good. "

taalismn wrote:"Do we really need men if we have cloning?"

Let's just say *some things* can't be cloned and leave it at that.

Kargan3033 wrote:*

Count Du Money:*lighting up a nasty ass smelling cigar* " Life is good. "

At the risk of drawing the attention of LucasFilm lawyers, I'm tempted to have Bobba Fett swipe CDM's 'bag' for the benefit of Fett's own contracted employers, then have to play 'keep away' from other bounty hunters all the way to the delivery drop-off.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:*

Count Du Money:*lighting up a nasty ass smelling cigar* " Life is good. "

At the risk of drawing the attention of LucasFilm lawyers, I'm tempted to have Bobba Fett swipe CDM's 'bag' for the benefit of Fett's own contracted employers, then have to play 'keep away' from other bounty hunters all the way to the delivery drop-off.

Hehe that would make things interesting because the Count wouldn't have an issue with it, he got paid to deliver the *boy toys* to his employers and he did and if his employers wanted them back they would have to pay him to take them back from Fett and given how much of a *hot* commodity Tenchi and Shinji are there would be many, many, MANY how shall we say *interested* females who would want Shinji and Tenchi for themselves would could leave to a large scale conflict for *possession* of the two of them.

And so the great, long running and on going Great Harem Wars began.

Let's just say that Shinji and Tenchi give a whole new meaning to the moose I mean babe magnet curse.

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Let's just say that Shinji and Tenchi give a whole new meaning to the moose I mean babe magnet curse.

"I don't know where the bull moose came from, but it seemed intent on fighting me."
"I think I saw that on a nature program....isn't that behavior associated with males fighting for females?"

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Let's just say that Shinji and Tenchi give a whole new meaning to the moose I mean babe magnet curse.

"I don't know where the bull moose came from, but it seemed intent on fighting me."
"I think I saw that on a nature program....isn't that behavior associated with males fighting for females?"

"But what's the Squerral's deal?"

SRoss wrote:[

"But what's the Squerral's deal?"

"...they wanna crack your nuts..."

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:[

"But what's the Squerral's deal?"

"...they wanna crack your nuts..."

Boris: "Da"

So Kargan wants to know:
Is Zor Prime so much of a pathetic emo yutz that Palladium-style psychiatric treatment, augmented with psionics, couldn't make a dent in his thickheaded messianic-guilt complex?

And, what would happen if the Shemarriams(presumably the uber-Shemarrians of the Shemarrian fancreation thread) ran into the Robotech Masters(essentially a Phaseworld-Robotech mashup with a rather limited cast of characters...if you can call at least 17 tribes' worth super-psionic gynoids and cyborgs 'limited')?

Well, yeah, the Masters are likely to be gutted, with much kicking and screaming and boomgunning, because simply punching holes in Shemarrian ships isn't going to stop them, and a Bioroid with a Monstrex or other Warmount latched atop of it and chewing its limbs off ain't a happy camper. It's almost like siccing the Mechanoids on them, especially when the EShemar and their neShemar auxiliaries start going psychic hotline on them.

Likewise, given how many times Zor Prime's been erased and retaped like a blank cassette, it shouldn't be too hard to rehab him, if only through application of -fear- as an incentive(Lost Eclipse member: "Don't make me come in there and teach you not to be emo, elf-boy."). Or simply get somebody from the Rifts community to come in with a Technowizardry ClueBat and beat some sense into him.
"Look, Zor, it's either play nice with the normal people...Dana, put the handcuffs away....or little Darla here beats you to a pulp with her Sledgehammer of Persuasion...."
"OUT, OUT, SPIRITS OF STUPIDITY!!!"

taalismn wrote:So Kargan wants to know:
Is Zor Prime so much of a pathetic emo yutz that Palladium-style psychiatric treatment, augmented with psionics, couldn't make a dent in his thickheaded messianic-guilt complex?

And, what would happen if the Shemarriams(presumably the uber-Shemarrians of the Shemarrian fancreation thread) ran into the Robotech Masters(essentially a Phaseworld-Robotech mashup with a rather limited cast of characters...if you can call at least 17 tribes' worth super-psionic gynoids and cyborgs 'limited')?

Well, yeah, the Masters are likely to be gutted, with much kicking and screaming and boomgunning, because simply punching holes in Shemarrian ships isn't going to stop them, and a Bioroid with a Monstrex or other Warmount latched atop of it and chewing its limbs off ain't a happy camper. It's almost like siccing the Mechanoids on them, especially when the EShemar and their neShemar auxiliaries start going psychic hotline on them.

That's what I figured would happen to the Masters but I don't think The Gals would waste everyone on a Master's mother ship, most likely they would waste the leaders and adopt the civies which would be an interesting.

Likewise, given how many times Zor Prime's been erased and retaped like a blank cassette, it shouldn't be too hard to rehab him, if only through application of -fear- as an incentive(Lost Eclipse member: "Don't make me come in there and teach you not to be emo, elf-boy."). Or simply get somebody from the Rifts community to come in with a Technowizardry ClueBat and beat some sense into him.
"Look, Zor, it's either play nice with the normal people...Dana, put the handcuffs away....or little Darla here beats you to a pulp with her Sledgehammer of Persuasion...."
"OUT, OUT, SPIRITS OF STUPIDITY!!!"

Ya I'd say that Rift's mental health is a high-tech rehash of the 19th century *mental health*

Though admittedly the M.O.M. tech we see on display is all militarized, If not for the pressure of the Rifts, we might have seen the development of anti-psychotic implants...though ethically, in a more civilized world, these might be seen as little better than a lobotomy.

taalismn wrote:Though admittedly the M.O.M. tech we see on display is all militarized, If not for the pressure of the Rifts, we might have seen the development of anti-psychotic implants...though ethically, in a more civilized world, these might be seen as little better than a lobotomy.

Or outright mind control.

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Though admittedly the M.O.M. tech we see on display is all militarized, If not for the pressure of the Rifts, we might have seen the development of anti-psychotic implants...though ethically, in a more civilized world, these might be seen as little better than a lobotomy.

Or outright mind control.

The Terminal Man.

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:

taalismn wrote:Though admittedly the M.O.M. tech we see on display is all militarized, If not for the pressure of the Rifts, we might have seen the development of anti-psychotic implants...though ethically, in a more civilized world, these might be seen as little better than a lobotomy.

Or outright mind control.

The Terminal Man.

Hopefully he's not running on Dos or Win 95.

(Admiral Rick Hunter appears on the screen, looking formal and serious)
RH: "There's been recent talk that the public future of Robotech is adversely affected by what is essentially a grimdark future of little optimism, promulgated in part, or primarily, by the constant McGuffin of an alien powersource that everybody wants and is stupidly addicted to, forcing a constant cycle of invasion and counterattack in which Humanity is the idiotball carrier of said McGuffin...that Robotech humanity is doomed to be forever fighting everybody and their pets for control of Protoculture.
This is patently NOT true; we are NOT fighting everybody! The idea is utterly ridiculous, promoted primarily by certain parties who, for whatever reason, just don't like u-"
(A man with curly blond hair and a prominent forehead pops up behind Rick Hunter, with a weapon in one hand)
High-Browed Man: "You will give us the secrets of this 'protoculture'! With it we can reinforce our ionization field and finally win the war against the Zagons! Metaluna MUST have your technoloAck!"
(HBM slums out of sight, having been sharply elbowed between the eyebrows by RH)
RH:(massaging his elbow) "AS I was saying, it's ridiculous to think that we're constantly fighting for less than serious reas-"
Off-Camera Voice: "-FOR ASSOCIATING WITH OUR SWORN ENEMIES, THE METALUNANS, YOU MUST BE DESTROYED!"
Voice from Other Side of Screen: "-told you."
RH: (Facepalming)"Oh be quiet. Max, launch the fighters..we've got another war...again."

taalismn wrote:(Admiral Rick Hunter appears on the screen, looking formal and serious)
RH: "There's been recent talk that the public future of Robotech is adversely affected by what is essentially a grimdark future of little optimism, promulgated in part, or primarily, by the constant McGuffin of an alien powersource that everybody wants and is stupidly addicted to, forcing a constant cycle of invasion and counterattack in which Humanity is the idiotball carrier of said McGuffin...that Robotech humanity is doomed to be forever fighting everybody and their pets for control of Protoculture.
This is patently NOT true; we are NOT fighting everybody! The idea is utterly ridiculous, promoted primarily by certain parties who, for whatever reason, just don't like u-"
(A man with curly blond hair and a prominent forehead pops up behind Rick Hunter, with a weapon in one hand)
High-Browed Man: "You will give us the secrets of this 'protoculture'! With it we can reinforce our ionization field and finally win the war against the Zagons! Metaluna MUST have your technoloAck!"
(HBM slums out of sight, having been sharply elbowed between the eyebrows by RH)
RH:(massaging his elbow) "AS I was saying, it's ridiculous to think that we're constantly fighting for less than serious reas-"
Off-Camera Voice: "-FOR ASSOCIATING WITH OUR SWORN ENEMIES, THE METALUNANS, YOU MUST BE DESTROYED!"
Voice from Other Side of Screen: "-told you."
RH: (Facepalming)"Oh be quiet. Max, launch the fighters..we've got another war...again."

Showing once again that humanity's default state is conflict.

Kargan3033 wrote:[
Showing once again that humanity's default state is conflict.

Rap or soul? Tuna fish or sardines? Pizza or fried chicken? Liquid or bar soap?! THE CONFLICT!!!!!

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[
Showing once again that humanity's default state is conflict.

Rap or soul? Tuna fish or sardines? Pizza or fried chicken? Liquid or bar soap?! THE CONFLICT!!!!!

Any conflict, human are funny like that, willing to spill blood for almost any reason or just because we tend be a blood thirsty lot who will fight and kill just because we woke up on the wrong side of the bed in some cases.

No we don't! *hmpf*

dataweaver wrote:No we don't! *hmpf*

George Carlin:"I believe in love, peace, and tolerance...and anybody who doesn't agree with that should be taken out and shot."

Darkraven: "Humanity has never need a reason to be s****y at each other, just an excuse. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go and kill this guy for... reasons. Yeah, reasons."

wyrmraker wrote:Darkraven: "Humanity has never need a reason to be s****y at each other, just an excuse. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go and kill this guy for... reasons. Yeah, reasons."

Reasons?, who needs a reason, well if you are the kind of person that needs a reason for killing some one then I guess the person stealing all of your Robotech stuff is the best reason of all.

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Reasons?, who needs a reason, well if you are the kind of person that needs a reason for killing some one then I guess the person stealing all of your Robotech stuff is the best reason of all.

"Hi, I'm Robbing Hood, not Robin Hood. I steal protoculture and give it to -myself-."

taalismn wrote:

Kargan3033 wrote:[

Reasons?, who needs a reason, well if you are the kind of person that needs a reason for killing some one then I guess the person stealing all of your Robotech stuff is the best reason of all.

"Hi, I'm Robbing Hood, not Robin Hood. I steal protoculture and give it to -myself-."

"Of course what mister Hood doesn't know is we've replaced his protoculture canisters with Twitch's special chili sauce. "

SRoss wrote:
"Of course what mister Hood doesn't know is we've replaced his protoculture canisters with Twitch's special chili sauce. "

"THat explosion over there....Invid attack?!"
"Not unless the Invid are using daisy-cutters."

Bad First Contacts:
-What if New Detroit had been rescued from Khyron by another group of aliens? And Lynn Kyle was on hand to greet them?
....What could go wrong?

Lynn Kyle Meets the Wookies:
“What is that horrible smell?! Oh, it’s yo-”
***
“-Well, we can re-attach your legs, but the toenail in your eye is going to require separate surgery.”

Lynn Kyle Meets the Klingons:
“Great, just what we need; another group of ‘WARRIORS’! Another group of stupid, egomanical war-mongi-”
***
“-Apparently parrying fists and tables just isn’t effective against large steel blades. I don’t know what ‘Martial Arts Targ Butchery’ entails exactly, but it seems brutally effective.”

Lynn Kyle Meets the Asgardians:
“God of Thunder, my ass! You’re just another pushy, arrogant, militaristic-”
***
“Okay, I’ve heard of lightning striking twice, but FIFTY TIMES?! Just what was this man doing, practicing polevaulting in a thunderstorm?!”

Lynn Kyle Meets the Shemarrians:
“If you’re expecting gratitude from us for bringing your senseless violence into our peaceful communities, and promoting your hatred, you are NOT welc-”
***
“Helluva backhand that lady has. The return stroke was just overkill.”

Lynn Kyle meets the Gatlantis:
"Great! Another band of war-like barbar-..."
***
"-Geez, I can understand em not wanting to hear him speak anymore... But blowing yourself up seems a little much..."

Why Lynn Kyle Isn’t Invited to High Society Parties:

Lynn Kyle Meets Tony Stark
“Oh, at last we meet the manipulative warmonging military industrial complex capitalist profitee-”
***
“I’m sorry, Mister Kyle, but it’s legally airtight and I can’t do a thing about it. Mister Stark DOES own your ass.”

Lynn Kyle Meets Xanatos
“You’re just another self-important swaggering sadistic violence-loving megalomaniac like Star-”
***
“Mister Stark may own your ass, but Mister Xanatos legally owns every other part of you. And he sez you don’t have permission to breath with HIS lungs.”

Lynn Kyle Meets Hank Scorpio
“And who do you think you are, telling us what to do in New Detroit? You think you can just barge in here with your money and your big ide-”
***
“Well, on the bright side, your future’s all taken care of, so no worries there, Mister Kyle. Though I can’t do anything about the wording of the end of your legal contract with Mister Scorpio; ‘Expiration’ does seem rather odd.”

Lynn Kyle Meets Darth VaderAnakinSkywalker
“I don’t listen to anybody who thinks violence is the first solution to everythin-** *”

Lynn Kyle Meets Bruce Wayne
“Huh! And how many fellow humans did your family screw over to give you all this undeserved wealth, Mister Playboy Way-”
***
“Mister Wayne is an easygoing and very forgiving person. It’s the people on Alfred Pennyworth’s **** that get the boot around here. Consider yourself permanently banned from Gotham, Mister Lynn, and consider yourself lucky we’re -only- running you off across county borders.”

Lynn Kyle meets Victor von Doom - "What! You think that mask ma...."

At this point about the only high roller Kyle could meet and NOT get beaten up by is Richie Rich...and that whiny brat will just sic his Cuban mercenaries bodyguards on Kyle.

Kyle meets the Collector - "No... You're not worth adding to my display..."

SRoss wrote:Kyle meets the Collector - "No... You're not worth adding to my display..."

No interest in setting up a Hall of Stupid?

taalismn wrote:

SRoss wrote:Kyle meets the Collector - "No... You're not worth adding to my display..."

No interest in setting up a Hall of Stupid?

Collector: "I've just been to Washington and London... It's full to capacity."

Kyle meets Ava - "Hiiiii! Wanna be my friend?"

(Kyle runs screaming to the hills)

SRoss wrote:Kyle meets Ava - "Hiiiii! Wanna be my friend?"

(Kyle runs screaming to the hills)

Because to Kyle, actual true love, compassion and friendliness is like...well hitting Grumpy Cat with a ten-ton My Little Pony plushie....

Kyle meets Thanatos - "Damn! you would be in the half that survived..."