randomer item table

[Zer0 Kay]

Lol I was thinking of Fart gun from despicable me. I said dart... Oh never mind.

[CyCo]

Oh yes. Cause I was wondering... under what circumstances would we use this?

8p

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

I appreciate the effort Cyco, but technically #6 should combine 4 and 5 to make something unique. While it should embody elements of it's parents it shouldn't be just the 2 of them stuck together example (of how Not to do it). 4 A scope. 5 A rifle. 6 A rifle with a scope.

[Rockwolf66]

So has anyone collected the last two completed tables?

I thought that someone was supposed to post the completed tables once we made them.

[CyCo]

Well, since no one have kept this going, I'll just make a simple one item post to keep this puppy going.

#7

A can of Dinki-Di dog food. Can is open and is still half full. Near the can is a wooden spoon, with traces of dog food on it.

[Zer0 Kay]

So has anyone collected the last two completed tables?

I thought that someone was supposed to post the completed tables once we made them.

Who ever wants to does it. I have done it but by no means am I supposed to or obligated to do so. I have also been consolidating them in an excel spread sheet with a simple random retreival from an array to provide automated random item generation. If your in a hurry and want them done, I suggest you have a go. Then I only have to update the spread sheet and generator.

Thanks in advance... (Torch passed).

Please make sure to copy and paste items exactly and not correct or reorder numbering. Thanks.

[Zer0 Kay]

8- A pair of mirrored shades. If a CS or NG weapon with integrated scope is powered up near the glasses the glasses display "Bluetooth Connecting". If more than one weapon is within 100 feet the glasses ask for the weapons connection code (which is displayed in the weapons scope). The glasses after connection will show a cross hair if the scope is pointed within the view of the glasses or an arrow if the scope is pointed out of the field of vision. If the word "scope" is said the scope's view will be superimposed over reality. The system allows for 50x digital zoom without pixilization. The image is clear enough to accurately aim but transparent enough to be seen through if needed. If the trigger is partially pulled the software will detect edges and assume whatever the crosshairs are on is the target and with the combined systems of the Rifle, scope and glasses wind, gravity and range are compensated for. Other voice commands:
Range: displays range to surface the rifle is pointed at.
Ammo: displays ammo status (current/max)
Clear (function): Clears named function or "all" clears all.
All of this... well just the scope stuff, adds a +5 to strike with the connected weapon.

What this does say is that "so that is what that component we weren't sure about does." It also says, "uh wait, why does some of NG's' stuff work with this?!"

[Zer0 Kay]

I say we vote on making TOSAN produce the third posts AND only those. Of course this would require TOSAN's approval due to it requireing his regular input.

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

Lol well thanks zero kay. I guess it is better than being nominated for @$$ hole of the week.

sorry I haven't been around much lately. Mandatory overtime at work combined with some annoying health problems that I'm trying to get under control have put a big kink in my internet time (plus I got a copy of Skyrim and that is a massive time sucking black hole right there)

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

8- A pair of mirrored shades. If a CS or NG weapon with integrated scope is powered up near the glasses the glasses display "Bluetooth Connecting". If more than one weapon is within 100 feet the glasses ask for the weapons connection code (which is displayed in the weapons scope). The glasses after connection will show a cross hair if the scope is pointed within the view of the glasses or an arrow if the scope is pointed out of the field of vision. If the word "scope" is said the scope's view will be superimposed over reality. The system allows for 50x digital zoom without pixilization. The image is clear enough to accurately aim but transparent enough to be seen through if needed. If the trigger is partially pulled the software will detect edges and assume whatever the crosshairs are on is the target and with the combined systems of the Rifle, scope and glasses wind, gravity and range are compensated for. Other voice commands:
Range: displays range to surface the rifle is pointed at.
Ammo: displays ammo status (current/max)
Clear (function): Clears named function or "all" clears all.
All of this... well just the scope stuff, adds a +5 to strike with the connected weapon.

What this does say is that "so that is what that component we weren't sure about does." It also says, "uh wait, why does some of NG's' stuff work with this?!"

so let me get this straight. If I have the glasses and you have a CS or ng rifle I can connect the glasses to the rifle via bluetooth and see what you are aiming at? this is an interesting post, I'm not really sure how it benefits the person who does not have the rifle, but in the hands of the rifle user it's a pretty neat rick

[taalismn]

8- A pair of mirrored shades. If a CS or NG weapon with integrated scope is powered up near the glasses the glasses display "Bluetooth Connecting". If more than one weapon is within 100 feet the glasses ask for the weapons connection code (which is displayed in the weapons scope). The glasses after connection will show a cross hair if the scope is pointed within the view of the glasses or an arrow if the scope is pointed out of the field of vision. If the word "scope" is said the scope's view will be superimposed over reality. The system allows for 50x digital zoom without pixilization. The image is clear enough to accurately aim but transparent enough to be seen through if needed. If the trigger is partially pulled the software will detect edges and assume whatever the crosshairs are on is the target and with the combined systems of the Rifle, scope and glasses wind, gravity and range are compensated for. Other voice commands:
Range: displays range to surface the rifle is pointed at.
Ammo: displays ammo status (current/max)
Clear (function): Clears named function or "all" clears all.
All of this... well just the scope stuff, adds a +5 to strike with the connected weapon.

What this does say is that "so that is what that component we weren't sure about does." It also says, "uh wait, why does some of NG's' stuff work with this?!"

so let me get this straight. If I have the glasses and you have a CS or ng rifle I can connect the glasses to the rifle via bluetooth and see what you are aiming at? this is an interesting post, I'm not really sure how it benefits the person who does not have the rifle, but in the hands of the rifle user it's a pretty neat rick

"The weapon you have tried to reach is no longer in service. Please redial and try again. Our apologies for any inconvenience this may cause you."(looming jaws of predator visible through glasses and text message)

[Zer0 Kay]

Lol well thanks zero kay. I guess it is better than being nominated for @$$ hole of the week.

sorry I haven't been around much lately. Mandatory overtime at work combined with some annoying health problems that I'm trying to get under control have put a big kink in my internet time (plus I got a copy of Skyrim and that is a massive time sucking black hole right there)

Ah, I hope that health stuff gets under control. It may not mean much but I'll pray for ya. I'm not allowing myself to get skyrim. I guess it wouldn't be so bad on the Xbox but I played oblivion on PC and was downloading all the mods I could get my hands on. I LOVE community modable games especially when you can ad a little kink into it. Made the game seem that much more like a real RPG instead of an RPG simulator.

I guess it would better if we had the person complaining about not having the lists done do them. Any votes for Rockwolf66?

[Zer0 Kay]

8- A pair of mirrored shades. If a CS or NG weapon with integrated scope is powered up near the glasses the glasses display "Bluetooth Connecting". If more than one weapon is within 100 feet the glasses ask for the weapons connection code (which is displayed in the weapons scope). The glasses after connection will show a cross hair if the scope is pointed within the view of the glasses or an arrow if the scope is pointed out of the field of vision. If the word "scope" is said the scope's view will be superimposed over reality. The system allows for 50x digital zoom without pixilization. The image is clear enough to accurately aim but transparent enough to be seen through if needed. If the trigger is partially pulled the software will detect edges and assume whatever the crosshairs are on is the target and with the combined systems of the Rifle, scope and glasses wind, gravity and range are compensated for. Other voice commands:
Range: displays range to surface the rifle is pointed at.
Ammo: displays ammo status (current/max)
Clear (function): Clears named function or "all" clears all.
All of this... well just the scope stuff, adds a +5 to strike with the connected weapon.

What this does say is that "so that is what that component we weren't sure about does." It also says, "uh wait, why does some of NG's' stuff work with this?!"

so let me get this straight. If I have the glasses and you have a CS or ng rifle I can connect the glasses to the rifle via bluetooth and see what you are aiming at? this is an interesting post, I'm not really sure how it benefits the person who does not have the rifle, but in the hands of the rifle user it's a pretty neat rick

Exactly. I figured something developed by the DOD or NEMA.
Besides, this list isn't primarily filled with "useful" things .

[Zer0 Kay]

8- A pair of mirrored shades. If a CS or NG weapon with integrated scope is powered up near the glasses the glasses display "Bluetooth Connecting". If more than one weapon is within 100 feet the glasses ask for the weapons connection code (which is displayed in the weapons scope). The glasses after connection will show a cross hair if the scope is pointed within the view of the glasses or an arrow if the scope is pointed out of the field of vision. If the word "scope" is said the scope's view will be superimposed over reality. The system allows for 50x digital zoom without pixilization. The image is clear enough to accurately aim but transparent enough to be seen through if needed. If the trigger is partially pulled the software will detect edges and assume whatever the crosshairs are on is the target and with the combined systems of the Rifle, scope and glasses wind, gravity and range are compensated for. Other voice commands:
Range: displays range to surface the rifle is pointed at.
Ammo: displays ammo status (current/max)
Clear (function): Clears named function or "all" clears all.
All of this... well just the scope stuff, adds a +5 to strike with the connected weapon.

What this does say is that "so that is what that component we weren't sure about does." It also says, "uh wait, why does some of NG's' stuff work with this?!"

so let me get this straight. If I have the glasses and you have a CS or ng rifle I can connect the glasses to the rifle via bluetooth and see what you are aiming at? this is an interesting post, I'm not really sure how it benefits the person who does not have the rifle, but in the hands of the rifle user it's a pretty neat rick

"The weapon you have tried to reach is no longer in service. Please redial and try again. Our apologies for any inconvenience this may cause you."(looming jaws of predator visible through glasses and text message)

LOL Bluetooth isn't for phones only silly.

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

in the words of my late father, "what in the cornbread hell?"

What happened to post #7? Did it get deleted? I think it was a can of Dinky Di dog food and a wooden spoon.

How am I going to make a #9 combo-post if I don't have a 7 AND an 8?

[CyCo]

It's about 11 posts above this one.

8]

[The Oh So Amazing Nate]

Hrmm. this is gonna be a tough one. a half full can of dog food and a wooden spoon PLUs a pair of mirrored shades the remotely connect to the scope of a CS or NG rifle to show what is seen through the scope.

[abtex]

For the continuing List 10:

101: Mime Speech Transmogrifier----Ah, the blessed sound of silence.....

02: Toxic Jingle Generator, This creates catchy jingles and boosts the ambient PPE level of the world it is on. But this like many world changing devices it has a malevolent dark side. It can over time change mundanes into evil CoM's, and pollute the culture of the world, turning it towards the darker aspects, through the jingles it creates. Fortunately, these effects can be contained to a small region if the TJG, and it's jingles, are not used in mass media.

03: Toxic Tune Player---A single-tune music device that plays an asinine little tune THAT WILL NOT QUIT PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD!!!! Once this starts, the affected PCs must roll versus psionic attack or be stuck hearing the same damn tune over and over and over, even to the point that, no matter how much they hate the original tune, they find themselves singing or humming it. This becomes so distracting that in combat, they must save versus psionics(at a -1) or be -1 to initiative(or -2 to initiative and dodge if relying on auditory cues) for the duration of the combat, or until they are assaulted by/exposed to some other loud, catchy music, in which case they get a second roll to save at +2. U the alternative, destroying the original music player and hearing it be destroyed will break the spell.

04: Toxic Song - a copy of Britney Spears' song Toxic

05: Small Sheathed Dagger, with the words, in Dragonese, 'Only the Strong Survive', engraved on the scabbard. The first person to draw the blade from its sheath must immediately roll versus possession, as the dagger's next action is to attempt to plunge itself into the chest of the weakest member of the party.

06: A bottle of Spanish Fly. When opened 1,000,000 flies fly out of the bottle, immediately flying/crawling into the eyes/nose/ears of anyone near by. Somehow can get into enclosed environmental armour. Also, the zipper of anyones pants will open, and will be impossible to zip up until the flies disperse (1D1000 minutes). Additionally, any slimy 'd-bee' with long tongues will find the person who opened the bottle incredibly attractive. Just remember, to use protection. ;]

07: Roadkill Cookbook---Found in the middle of the remains of a pre-Rifts highway. The book is written in a dialect of Demongogian and is lavishly illustrated with pictures of ...road-killed humans. Just as the characters realize this, there's the sound of a large engine and the blare of an airhorn very close by....

08: You find the teleportation thread. It is a small piece of string that allows you to teleport anywhere except into anything made of cardboard... Or anything sealed (thank goodness because some child wanting ice cream could get teleported into a freezer and not be able to get out )... or into/onto anything moving (e.g. A car, giant robot, kaiju, moon sized battle station, or planet)... SO you can teleport "safely" into space... Thank goodness for all those safety "features"

09: Seashell---A large conch-like seashell. Holding it up to your ear, you can hear ocean noises...then a bubbling inhuman sound. Roll versus Mind Control/Possession, because the Lord of the Deep's just called you collect.

02: Pair of Used Sneakers---If picked up, and anybody attempts to put them on, they pretty much fall apart. If bypassed, kicked, abused, or picked up and thrown away, they will spring to life and begin pursuing the PCs. They have four APMs, +2 to strike, kick for 1d6 SDC/MDC damage(depending on the target), and have 5 MDC each. They also run at a Speed of 25(12 if one of them is destroyed) and can jump up in the air 5 ft up/10 ft across.

03: Can of Pickled Tentacles---Opening what appears to be a can (or jar) of marinated seafood, will instantly unleash a Reacher of the Lord of the Deep. The 300-ft long tentacle will wave drunkenly around for 1d4x10 melees, doing considerably damage just by sheer mass alone, but it will not actually grab anybody. At the end of a random period of time, it will collapse back to the ground, and withdraw back into the can before disappearing completely, leaving behind a few drippings of an alcoholic marinara that quickly evaporates. Just as well, because anybody attempting to take a drink of the stuff will take 6d6(or 3d6 MD) in Hit Point damage, starting with their liver exploding. On a roll versus lethal poison, damage is halved, but a state of intense intoxication/alcohol poisoning insues, lasting 4d8 hours. Even sniffing the stuff will sear sinuses, removing the person's sense of smell for 6d6 hours.

04: Package of Brownies----Hmmmm-hmmmm, plastic-wrapped goodness! Anybody taking a bite of these brownies will discover their SECRET INGREDIENT. Save versus non-lethal poison or be utterly blitzed and higher than a kite (-4 on initiative, only 1 APM, NO bonuses in hand to hand, -20% to all skills, but oddly enough, +5 to save versus mind control and possession) for 1d6x10 minutes. A successful save will reduce duration and effects by HALF. Any properly trained sniffer dog or Dogboy will immediately be able to tell the brownies are chocolate-flavored dope.

05: Moth Traps----A cardboard box smeared with adhesive gunk and baited with a chemical cue attractive to moths. Package of 1d6. If used, the trap will attract 1d10 moths that will land on it and become hopelessly stuck and die. After the initial wave, 1d4 larger moths will arrive on the scene, then, with small flashes of light, free the last moth trapped. Before flying away, the moths will then set the trap on fire.

06: Picture of a Redheaded Blue-eyed Girl...She is wearing a US flag bikini and has trianguler shaped red barrettes in her hair that have a jagged black line running around them.

07: A box of keys. Random types of house/car/padlock keys. If used to try opening lock, roll two D%. If the second one is lower than the first, you've managed to open the lock. However, if you roll doubles on both d% rolls, you talk 'off key' for the rest of the gaming session. This could mean your character talks off key for a few hours, or even months or possibly years, depending on the campaign. This will give you a -5% to any rolls concerning communication or even public talking, but give you a +15% with any interactions with Crazies. Whether you like it or not.

08: Rotten Tomato Thrower---A rotten tomato(or other decayed fruit or vegetable) hits one of the PCs with uncanny accuracy. The culprit is a modified Northern Gun mini-missile launcher mine, modified to throw such items. The launcher-mine still has 6 very putrid projectiles ready to fire, and can be scavenged for parts. It is concealed beneath a billboard proclaiming "WELCOME TO (Insert village name here)!!!". A little beyond the billboard is the burned and shattered remains of a small village.

09: A box of topic papers. Random topics on activism, politics, everyday life and more. If used to try starting a conversation, roll two D%. If the second one is lower than the first, you've managed to sound intelligent, regardless of reading directly from the paper or even being capable of reading. However, if you roll doubles on both d% rolls, you talk 'off point' for the rest of the gaming session. This could mean your character talks off key for a few hours, or even months or possibly years, depending on the campaign. This will give you a -5% to any rolls concerning communication or even public talking, but give you a +15% with any interactions with politicians. Whether you like it or not.

10: Giant Truck Tire----Tire off a Caterpillar 777 dump truck. It's big and not terribly worn; a good operator could probably modify it without too much trouble into a spare tire for a Mountaineer ATV.

11: Geezer Chair---It's a rocking chair, rather well made, but anybody sitting down in it will immediately take on the appearance of themselves as very elderly. Even to their own eyes, they look(and sound) on the far side of their life expectancy. However, this is all illusion; the person sitting in the chair will NOT feel any of the slings, aches, and pains that their apparent ache would entail. The illusion is broken the moment they sit up out of the chair. Yes, the chair can be carried along for those who find a use for the illusion.

12: - A sealed package most of the writing is worn off. The label says its called lent een and is made by a company named soy t. It claims to contain high-energy plankton and is more nutritious and tasty tan their previous red and yellow versions but is in limited supply. Inside are two green 2x2 inch green square wafers. If someone tries they notice the oldest person in the group is missing. The missing character returns in 1d4 hours with a crate with the words it's people spray painted on the side. Inside are a bunch of the packets. The company is Soylent and the product is Soylent Green.

13: -Rain Coat----A rubberized poncho-style garment. When donned, the wearer will be deafened by the sound of thunder in his ears and will be soaked wet by water spraying on the inside. Reversing the coat does nothing. If put on a vampire, it will do 1d4x10 Hit Points of damage per melee the coat is on.

14: Tome of the Lurkers - Upon reading, the person is suddenly aware of 1D6x100 other people sitting around them in a loose circle, silently starring at them. The lurkers cannot be interacted with in any way. 01-50% chance of becoming paranoid for each round of awareness. Lurkers vanish when the book is closed.

14: A lost random item. Roll again on these lists. The item you find is obviously not supposed to be here 'cuz it doesn't have the weird number tag you've had on all the other random items you've found. What's up with those anyway?

15: Bob Dylan Figurine - Gives user +20% skill to play the tambourine.

16: Ashes of Keith Richards - (in metal tin) - If snorted, mixed with tea and drank, or injected, user has 01-99% chance of geting higher than Jesus. +15% to creative writing, +40% to dance, +25% to Pilot: Female.

17: a strange piece of sequined cloth. It's either a bow tie or a g-string. Either way you manage to wear it. Roll vs. Magic. If successful your clothing except for the piece of cloth feels itchy like a bad wool sweater. If you fail you're overcome by the urge to take it all off... In front of the rest of the group while dancing. But don't worry the group has to save vs magic if they succeed they will tip you based on their sexual preference. If they do not they tip you with half their credits regardless of preference and will forget they tipped you.

18: Sequined Glove---There's only one of them. Anybody putting the glove on must make a save versus magic or see their own hand punch out the first person within reach(roll damage as normal for the wearer's strength). If nobody is immediately within reach, it will wait until somebody gets within range. The wearer is fully conscious, but his or her hand just seems to have a life of its own, and it likes punching people, with APMs similar to their own(Note that the wearer WANTS the hand to punch out people, they get their normal APMs using their other limbs, while the gloved hand can only deal out punches). Roll every melee to keep from punching somebody out (or trying to). Removing the glove will require a combined PS of 50...or removal of the hand.

19: Book: 1001 Sexual Techniques You Will Never Have the Opportunity to Use---It's exactly that; a book of techniques that would make you Superstud, lord of your own harem, but that you will NEVER be able to use, as long as you retain possession of the book. This is because the owner of the book will be rendered impotent, wholly unattractive, erased from the social perception of women, rendered incapable of being able to muster any sexual longings, or cursed with the sexual charisma of a month-dead road-killed marmoset. Once the person disposes of the book, both their normal MA and their libido return to normal, but they will lose ALL memory of the contents of the book. The author's name on the spine may be a clue to its true nature: Tantalus.

20: a boot ... it has pockets up the leg that can contain up to 10 cubic feet of belongings in extra dimensional pockets, but until you have a matching one made, you can't wear it without limping, reduce your speed by half.

21: Keychain---A metal ring with 2d6 different keys on it. There's a 10% chance the next lock the PCs encounter can be opened by one of the leys on the 'chain.

22: Keychain, the keys don't seem to open anything, yet you refuse to be without them. You always put them in an off hand pocket you can easily reach. You are -10% to do any task that requires both hands and -20% to prowl. Everyone says your always playing with the damn keys, making such a racket. You adamantly argue otherwise because if you did your hand would be in your... Damn it, but it isn't making any sound so you have no idea what the heck they're talking about. After being made aware of jingling the keys you can stop for d4 minutes, then you don't even notice your hand going back. You are -2 to MA because of your argumentative natue

23: 4-ounce Plastic Cup of Yogurt(Greek variety, Strawberry-flavor, sealed) --Well it would be 4 ounces if it was still in its dimension of origin. Here, on Rifts Earth, it's 400 GALLONS, and the size of a small swimming pool. Peeling back the foil lid takes 1 MD of damage or a combined PS of 40. You could probably drown a lactose-intolerant enemy in this thing. No spoon is provided.

24: A cow... From the same dimension as the previously mentioned Greek yogurt it weighs 800 tones and is a mile and a half tall at the shoulder. You don't know whether to slaughter this thing and solve world hunger or let it continue to clear the area for development... Either way your hungry for a barbecue.

Just watch out for the cow patties.

Bandini mountain anyone? Got skis?

25: A bottle of very expired Viagra (individual results may vary).

26: Warm Soda---A metal can of carbonated beverage. It is both warm AND has been well shaken up prior to the PCs discovering it. Anybody opening it takes 1d4 SDC damage (to a 5 ft blast radius) as the can explodes in a spray of aluminum shrapnel, 50% chance of knocking people in that blast radius off their feet, and those in a 10 ft radius beyond that are tagged and soaked by the spraying soda. Not so much refreshing as blast-stunning.

27: Coke and only too late do you find out that picking it up released mentos into the soda... As you try to throw it you also learn that there was adhesive on the bottle. BOOM it goes off on your hand. You take 1d4 sdc and everyone in a 10' radius is doused in soda. You also loose feeling in your hand and suffer -10% to any skill requiring a sense of touch, for d% minutes. Oh and you suffer the effects of being rendered deaf too, for d4 rounds, then half effects as the ringing subsides.

Wasn't that fun? Lets try another!

Wait how the heck did that one get in your other hand?!

(repeat once for each grasping appendage a creature has.)

28: Can of D-bee Soda---Yes, it's a non-standard-sized(14 ounces or so) metal can of some beverage, its outsides printed in a decidedly non-human language, but the art is enough to suggest that the contents are liquid, tasty, and refreshing. Only upon attempting to open it, will one discover that its contents are, in fact, a Coalition-made(or Northern Gun-made, if the perps want to cover their tracks) fragmentation grenade ungentlemanly rigged to go off in your face(s), because only a d-bee or d-bee-loving enemy of the state would pick up such obvious d-bee item. Rotten booby-trapping bastards.

29: Laff Track---An 8-track tape cassette. If anybody has an appropriate player(or can kludge up a player), all 8 tracks seem to consist of somebody apparently trying to laugh with an obstructed airway (a good Foresnics roll will indicate various substances as the blockage(s)), before suffocating in the process. It's certainly not any form of music or language. Must be some d-bee fetish thing.

29: (if the characters aren't in the middle of nowhere or a ruined and abandoned city then reroll). A teriyaki restaurant and its the best dang food you've ever had. Roll vs. magic if you succeed you forget about the restaurant but your new favorite type of food is teriyaki. If you fail... When ever you talk to a friend you bring it up... Even if they were there. If they weren't there you suggest they try it but for the life of you you can't remember exactly where it was. Even if you just turned one corner, because it isn't there so it must have been somewhere else. It always seems as if it was just around the last corner, even if you're in the middle of a flat plane. "Well if you just go around the cor... Uh, it must be in... I can't remember the street name. Now it going to bother me all day.". And it has been everyday, all day, ever since you ate there, but you don't mind that because it was so good and everyone...EVERYONE should try it!

30: A set of the Bubblegum Crisis RPG (The Mainbook and the expansion book) and assorted dice.

31: My Little Pony RPG (Sudden Death Edition) w/ Magic Dice---Anybody actually playing this game and rolling a critical failure gets friendship-nuked in a rainbow blast.

32: The Mekton collection everything from the original box set to Mekton II to Mekton Empire to Mekton Zeta.

No dice though, gotta get em yourself.

33: The complete collection of Synnibar
You believe this will make a fine addition to your collection. What you don't know is that due to all of the over engineering in calculations and the shallow world setting combined with the obvious bent toward munchkinism, where you can become a god, you now own a game frequently known as the worst RPG ever made... And yet somehow your living in "the most munchkin world."

34: a key chain of doom!
it has so many items besides a key that it can be used as a mini-flail for 1d4 sdc (mdc if the items are mdc in nature) per attack!
other than that it's a regular key chain.

35: Mighty Prophylactic of Bill Clinton - Gives the wearer Supernatural PS and PE (but only in one place...). Further, the wearer is +5 to dodge/parry thrown frying pans and kitchen flatware. If wielding a cigar, the wearer is +7 to strike. The only thing that can cancel the effects are blue dresses.

36: Decanter of Endless Emoticons - This object appears to be nothing more than a dusty wine bottle. However, if unstoppered, it lets forth a titanic blast of emoticons [ : ) , : p , |-), ; )~~ , etc ] which hit with the force of a freight train, doing 2D4x10 MD per melee round. Anyone hit with such a blast must also save vs. Insanity or be mentally transformed into a 13-year-old girl for 1D6 minutes. It takes a combined PS of 50 to restopper the bottle.

37: Hair Jel (or Gel) of Bieber The Merciless - Found in random bottles across the Megaverse, this glowing green jel gives the user a number of mystical properties when applied liberally to his/her hair: Impervious to Fire, Impervious to Static Cling, Impervious to South Texas Humidity, +40% to Seduce, +25% to Say Nothing. On the downside, the user is -90% to Make Up A Good Excuse For Drinking & Driving, -50% to Act Like A Mature Adult, -75% to Not Act Like A Spoiled Rich Kid. Further, each use of the HJoBtB has a cumulative, irreversable effect of lowering the wearers IQ by one point per month. Orcs love it.

38: Tor's Circlet of Ponderous Rhetoric - This ornately-crafted gold circlet gives the wearer the ability to post threads which deconstruct Palladium rules down to their atomic structure and give complex arguments as to why they should not be so. +5 to Confuse Everyone, +59% to Debate, +30% to Cause Others To Scratch Heads.

39: Nightfactory's Bracers of Instigation - These plain metal bracers contain a terrible secret: the wearer will be compelled to post threads which are controversial and get everyone pissed off at each other. -10 to save vs. No You Didn't, -20% to Calm the F Down, -80% to Seduce Kevin Siembieda. On the plus side, the wearer is +15 to Post Like A Mad Bastard, +10 to Dodge Logical Fallacies, +45% to Send Jeffar A Hairnet Or Something.

40: TOSAN's Gloves Of Spelling Nazism - These leather gauntlets, when put on, instantly give the wearer the following powers: +80% to Correct Insignificant Spelling Mistakes, +50% to Miss The Point, +5 to save vs. Satirical Humor.

41: Internet Punch Screen---Congrats; you have found the Holy Grail of the Internet, the Excalibur of the Online Forums. Placing this device over your computer screen allows you to put your fist through your computer screen to punch individuals of your choice, provided they are online through the same forum/webpage you are on, and provided they are in range of your fist(you can get your entire arm through the screen up the shoulder). In the alternative, you can use a handheld weapon(baseball bat, hockey stick, garden claw, etc.) to extend your reach, or use a handgun(no bonus to strike and counts as shooting wild, unless you have a concurrent webcam view of your target) or use it to toss an explosive device through. You can also use your ability to smash the other guy's computer, provided you can pull your arm back before the computer goes offline. You finally have the Power to deal with internet idiots, you are now The Troll Slayer; use your power wisely.

42: A CD with titled "Lin Minmay's Greatest Hits" in large print. In small print underneath that "sung by Yellow Dancer".

42: Persian Carpet---A large, ancient, dusty carpet, rolled up. Unrolling it will reveal a skeleton(a Forensics or Anatomy roll will determine it's female) in what appears to be Egyptian jewelry, gold, worth just short of a queen's ransom(some 3d4x1,000 credits between the gold and jewels).

43: Framed Picture of Captain Gloval - Equiped with a proximity sensor. Whenever anyone walks within 5 feet, it says, "Fold THIS, B____ch!"

44: Pair of Buttocks---A very fine pair of buttocks indeed. About 4d6 minutes after finding these, a Shemarrian war party will show up and inquire rather bluntly if they've found a pair of buttocks. One member of the war party in particular is holding back, standing behind a warmount, hidden from the waist down. If the PCs say that they HAVE found the buttocks, the Shemarrians will demand them back, and let the party leave peacefully if they hand them over. If the party refuses to hand them over, or lies about not having them, the Shemarrians will attack and kick their asses in order to recover the buttocks.

45: Cabbage Patch Kevin Doll - When a string is pulled, says phrases like: "These sprues are DEEEEE-LICIOUS!", "Mechanoid Space: Hahahahahahahahahahaha!", and, "Free-basing powdered D4's? Hell yes!" Note that possession of said doll will instantly attract all evil RRT minions who will attempt to destroy the doll and it's possessor. Doubles as a floatation device.

46: The Freedom Ring, a ring with a blue diamond, red ruby and white sapphire.
If a person puts this on they will find all mental bonds are bloken, whether the mind control was mystical or mundane in nature. Seeing how his own actions would put others in bondage and be revolted by it.

47: Blessed Halter-top of Scarlet Johansen - While wearing this halter-top any female PC will gain the ability of: +10 to Kick Ass of Guys Way Bigger Than You are, +5 to leap, +5 to dodge/parry, +5 to drink venti no-whip iced mocha. Additionally, the user gains: +69% to Look Stunning, +75% to Induce Salivic Response, +90% to Get Someone To Go Down On You in 5 Seconds. If worn by a male PC, he is instantly and permanently transformed into a can of Chef Boyardee Mini Ravioli until the garment is forcibly removed.

48: Infinite Cup of Dixie Dispenser---A plastic dispenser filled with disposable waxed-paper drinking cones, only IT NEVER RUNS OUT OF THEM. The paper cups are fairly fragile(about 1 SDC to crush them in your hand) and they can't be set upright(cone shaped), and they start going flimsy after about 1d4 hours filled with liquid, but one could use them(set upside down) to mark paths.

48a: Nate's Amazing Glasses of Dixie Discernment - These ordinary-looking spectacles give the user that ability to instantly detect the difference in a authentic Dixie Cup and a cheap paper drinking cone foisted on the unsuspecting public as an actual Dixie cup. The wearer is also +5 to save vs. Kool-Aid.

49: Full-Automatic Pez Gun - With a cyclic rate of 1000 rounds per minute, this Pez Gun can unload it's full payload of 30 delicious Pez candies in less than 5 seconds. Additionally, the possessor gets +30% to Contract Diabetes and +40% to Destroy Tooth Enamel.

50: Lost Luggage---A leather bag with attached tags in some language unfamiliar to anybody(an Eyes of Toth spell will spell out 'Property of M.Z. Zeryeuirwez'), contents of which consists of several dozen garments of both natural and synthetic fiber, possibly pants and/or shirts, only with many more, and longer appendages than would fit humans, a ring with several long indented strips of metal, a plastic bag with various brushes and tubes of various organic substances(none edible), an electronic device that could be a shaver, and, the real find, a universal energy matrix converter with universal plug attachment.

51: Anti-Intrustion Rune Door Mat - This rubber door mat must placed on the ground outside of one's front door, and the power word said ("Scrama"). Once activated, anyone who steps on it (salepeople, annoying relatives, nosy neighbors, missionaries, etc) will find themselves instantly teleported 500 miles away in a random direction before they can even knock on the door.

52: An over-shoulder-boulder-holder. Only one part of a tag can be read : 62FFF (!!!). Can be worn by anyone (!!!!), and will automatically dispense boulders, which the wearer can throw 150 feet for 6d6 damage. The wearer can specify either MDC or SDC damage, their choice. If worn by any giant kind (or related), range and damage is doubled. If a critical hit happens, it causes triple damage, but then the over-shoulder-boulder-holder disappears.

53: Dispenser of Infinite Dixie---A battered boombox that plays 'Dixie' and ONLY 'Dixie', ad infinitum. The battery system appears to run forever, since it should have run out its batteries long ago.

54: Insta-Heat Gerbil Fritters---Case of 2d4 foil pouches. Each one has a tear strip that, when pulled, causes a chemical reaction that instantly heats up the pouch's contents to a nice toasty temperature, said contents being rodent-based meat-filled pastries. Yum. Might be some guinea pig rolls in there too.

55: Drink Pouch---Foil liquid pouch, printed in festive red and gold, with Spanish writing on it spelling out the words 'Refreshment O'. Anybody actually drinking from it will discover it's filled with stabilized whole blood...O negative. Product of Mexico.

56: Infinite dispenser of Dixie Chicks. This item appears to be a boom box. On closer inspection it has a hinged door on one side. When the power switch is moved to the o-n position it starts producing hatchling chickens with Ol' Dixie (name of confederate flag for those who don't want to look it up) dyed onto the feathers. You were hoping it wasn't chickens huh?

57: Brass Shell Casings---About 1d4x100 brass shell cartridges are spread over the ground. Looks like 7.62 caliber. A metal dealer would pay about 4d6 credits for the brass.

58: Chicken's Teeth----A set of dentures. How do you know they're chicken's death? Because Foghorn Leghorn is wearing them("I -SAY-! I -SAY-!"). After 3d6 minutes of being harrangued by this poultry-appearing obvious d-bee, roll under your ME to avoid blasting or basting him out of sheer annoyance.

59: A diminutive hawk looking d-bee being lectured by a large rooster looking d-bee. After 1/d10 of a minute the vertically challenged d-bird assaults the large restraint challenged d-bird in such a one sided violent trouncing that it would even make Prosek wince and the scientists at lone star drool over what they could do with the little ones DNA.

Who is going to bring up the transvestite bisexual bunny?

60: Censorship Dot---A circular blackness that covers objectionable material/imagery. It floats in the air and will automatically cover the most objectionable thing in its vicinity, according to some arbitrary set of standards that the PCs are not privy to. The area covered can vary from a hand-sized area to an entire large body, according to its 'programming'. Whoever it covers can NOT be seen through its sheer darkness, but can see and speak perfectly fine through it. There is only one dot, and if it discovers anything even more objectionable and needing censorship than what it is currently covering, it will disappear from its current 'host' and appear on the new target. This may give the PCs some inkling of what it's programmed to 'censor'(i.e., only exposed sexual organs, bug-eyes, blue skin, or red-haired people's heads are covered up). If faced with two or more equally censorable targets, the dot will attempt to divide(50% chance) or simply harmlessly explode into nothingness.

61: Sing along dot/bouncing ball--- this 1' diameter sphere does absolutely nothing but bounce around following you and changing color to most closely resemble the environment. If there is music it turns black and follows you, bouncing to the beat. If you start singing words appear floating in the air, an entire line/stanza in font large enough to be read 1000' away. The sphere and text assume any color that best contrasts against the background. If people are within 100' and do not sing it will unerringly strike them in the forehead, on the offbeat and flash like a bulb. The floating words will have a line of noticebly smaller, but still readable at 1000', translated text beneath the the original word in the native language of the struck person (even if it's the same language). If the person still doesn't sing it will continue to hit them in the for head on the offbeat getting progressively harder add 1d10 sdc each strike after the first upto 25d10 when it just does 1MD per strike (hope its not a fast beat). On the downside if someone else is singing or singing better than you it will do a sing along for them. At some point you realize you weren't humming when it was bouncing to a beat. This thing is telepathic but does require a verbal sing along.
Translating to your language if needed.

BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!

62: Singed Pair of Eyebrows---A fine pair of manly hairy eyebrows, slightly burnt at the ends, and smelling of lighter fluid.

63: rudimentary cell phone that works. Limited to phone operators in Chi-Town Burbs, Tolkien (before the Fall), Lazlo and a few other major townships or other people that have such phones. %60 chance that the service will be temporarily down. Labeled, "Carlos Dragon Light Industries."

64: m1911 pistol. black with ornate gold engraving, with white horn grips. SDC stats, 4D6 but compatible with certain mdc ammo.

65: toy robot. Yamato brand. High quality.

66: helmet. Looks like a motorcycle/pilot helmet. It draws you to a giant Mecha mostly buried in a hill. Excalibur destroid from the original robotech source book or mecha of your choice.

67: map to ARCHIE 3 underground facility.

68: Tesseract---A cube, about twelve inches on a side , that, depending how how you hold it and what angle you view it from seems to fade from reality, go transparent, become insubstantial, become harder than diamond, or glow with spectacular prismatic effects. Doing an Object Read on it yields impressions of nearly incomprehensible transcendence and very intense lust. It's a marital aide for supra-dimensional alien intelligences.

69: A cube-- some guy tells you is a tesseract. Don't worry its not a marrital aid reguardless of how much energy vibrations it puts off. It is indeed a cube which holds all the necessary elements to create a new universe, the only problem is it is also sentient. Some would call this a galactic... no a cosmic... no universal cube, then again that would make it sound like a cube that could be used for anything. Connecting it to any sort of device makes the device implode into a compact 2" ball, mass is not effected. If you plug it into a structure that is powered it only pulls out the wires. It does nothing to organic circuitry except develop a 3000V static charge, that really isn't that much, usually considered the lowest detectable charge to a humans sense of touch.

70: A cube with intricate golden patterns on all 6 surfaces. When found there will be flakes of dried blood on it from the previous owners fingertips all over the device. A careful examination will reveal that the patterns can be manipulated and causes the cube to shift and the faces change patterns.

If found...run! Don't touch it or pick it up.

It's the Hellrazor cube.

"How sweet, fresh meat"

71: Big X....A big black 'X' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the burial spot of some valuable item(roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'X' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being at ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage.

72: Big O....A big black 'O' spraypainted on the ground. What does it signify? What does it mean? 30% chance of it marking the spot of an odd encounter (roll again), 30% chance of whoever stands on it looking like a idiot of standing on a big 'O' spraypainted on the ground. 40% chance of whoever stands on it being near other Xs and Os and the Xs happen to be ground zero for a full CS missile artillery barrage don't worry, you'll only take half damage.

73: Package of Tolkeen MREs. Wax paper package with mystical logos and cursive or calligraphy. Recommend not more than a few days of it. GMs discretion
+1 to all Attributes +1 Attack Per Melee if they have high PP(16 or higher). Feelings ranging from euphoria to relief may accompany consumption. Pleasure is experienced since it tastes really good.
Effect lasts for three days after Tolkeen food is eaten.

74: Coalition MRE. No special stats. Indigestion quite likely small percentage of food poisoning. GMs discretion.

75: Container of mustard yellow fluid. May be labeled "Caution: Blood Sample." Does 1d6 Mega Damage per Melee round for 4 rounds or 4d6 if a large or unremovable object and the molecular acid can not be countered.

76: Electric Toothbrush....Fully functional, but close scrutiny will reveal wire bristles and a rather large electric motor and gearing. Anybody not of a megadamage phsyiology, or possessing MDC teeth, will suffer 1 SDC of enamel and gum damage per melee if attempting to use this thing.

77: Elric's toothbrush --- Stormbrusher is an old styled noble's toothbrush with an ornate gold handle, boar's hair bristles. The toothbrush magically vibrates at a high frequency and runs for two minutes, once activated, with tactile notifications every 30 seconds. Stormbrusher has a +5 to slay plaque, +3 to slay tartar and grants a +10% to save vs. gingivitis.

78: You experience Le Petit Mort-- a tension comes over you and it increases. Then, from no where, this this little skeletal dude in a robe carrying a small scythe passes you. As as he does, its as if you've summited some peak and all the tension leaves your body as endorphins flood your system.
Some people would pay him to walk back and forth by them a few times.

79: an empty 30 pack of cans a campfire now cooling embers. And a well hidden claymore. -15% detect concealment. Only -5% find traps and mines.

80: Claymore---A pile of thirty empty beer cans, a claymore sword(nicked and scratched, but with a little regrinding and re-polishing, could probably fetch 100-300 credits) and a torn and bloody kilt.

81: A torn and bloody kilt in a pile of 30 bear cans with an old claymore. With a successful sewing skill you mend the kilt and a lot of cleaning gets the bloodstains out.
You get it good enough to sell second hand for 20 credits.

There is a 10% chance that NLCSI (New Lazlo) find it and identify the tartan pattern to belong to the McDuck clan and the blood on it to very wealthy Scrooge McDuck and trace it back to you, who appears to be the guilty party because of the hours of work put into repairing and cleaning it for 20 credits.

82: Hand Grenade, Coalition States model, Plasma-type--Perfectly normal looking standard-issue CS Army plasma grenade. However, anybody throwing it or dismantling it will discover it's loaded with confetti and a compressed air cylinder to spread it. It's really a gag item produced by a little shop in Splynn that specializes in 'harmless' replica weapons.

83: A group of three jugglers. Speaking only in french the jugglers pick pocket the pc's and start juggling their belongings. If attacked the have an autodoge. Ans a speed of 260mph. The flee.

84: 24 cs troops. 7 Enforcer Robots. 10 SAMAS Power Armor. Rmb. Old style. No conversation. Seek and Destroy mission.

85: Cs Troops---24 infantry, 7 Enforcers, 10 SAMAS Power Armors. Old style. No conversation. Seek and Destroy Team, now running fast and shooting over their shoulders behind them without stopping. You really want to stick around to see what's chasing them?

87: Lemonade Stand (viewtopic.php?f=8&t=141605&hilit=lemonade)

88: You hear a loud hiyah. A large quite dead T-rex lands before the party. Sliding to a stop. A short red headed and bearded man simply drops out of the sky. He introduces himself as LoneWolf. He then grabs the dead beasts tail and jumps back the direcyion he came from. Any attack is considered a miss and LoneWolfs roundhouse kick simo strike. Deals triple damage direct to hit points. Mdc creatures take times five damage.

89: T-Rex Head on a Plaque---Mounted T-Rex head on a wall plaque, ready to be hung up. Looks realistic, very realistic, almost alive. In fact, its eyes follow you, its nostrils dilate, and will even make a snapping lunge for you if you get too close, although its bite will only do 1/4th its normal damage(it lacks the full muscle strength of a complete body). Something a Gene Splicer thought would be neat.

90: The Dude. An aging stoner stumbles acroos the road. Stops waves says Dude. Thumbs up and wanders away.

91: Children's Slide---A perfectly innocent-looking children's slide set. Anybody climbing the ladder, though, is in for a surprise. Though they may appear to everybody else to be a mere 6 ft off the ground at the top, from their perspective, they'll think they've somehow climbed about a thousand feet up! And if they actually get on the slide...by the time they hit the bottom, they'll be going in excess of 75 MPH! Likewise, jumping off the ladder, they will hit the ground with the same velocity as if they'd jumped off a cliff several hundred feet tall!

92: 30 mdc tactical kilt. Can be worn over clothes.

93: Bottle of vodka, Kalua, cream(preserved) and an empty ice tray.

94: Folding bicycle: mountain type, multi-gear. comes with neoprene case.

95: Laser sword - 5d6 MD, 40%chance of catching flammable objects on fire.

96: Large eggs with ridges. Dragon egg. 30% abandoned, 31-60% orphaned, 61-100% momma is looking for the egg and will be likely filled with ire towards anyone with it.

97: gas mask - 2 filters, new and sealed in box.

98: holographic weapon site. +2 for close to mid ranged targets. Unless the weapon has a rail it must be installed but competent weapon's armorer or equivalent technician.

99: Beretta .22 with silencer. 144 rounds 2d6 SDC

100: A series of sequentially numbered cards each listing a different, unrelated (seemingly random) item. The cards bear only the items name and the minimum of relevant data in regards to the item named. No history, description, or interesting information about the item is given. They are more of a place holder/marker. There is no monetary, historical, or magical value to the cards.


Example: card 100a

Pine cone, Douglas fir
4" l x 7" w

[abtex]

Random Table 11

01: A reacher from the deep. Rifts Underseas.

02: Spectacles of Deflection, causes the anger of others to be focused on someone other then the wearer.
The people around the wearer can try to save vs the effects vs 18, ME Psi bonuses are applicable.

03: A new pair of work boots. Size twelve. Made of light mdc materials. 15-mdc.

04: Predatory Waffle Iron----Moves at Spd. 10, has 10 SDC(A.R. 10) and has three attacks per melee. It wants to hook into your electrical system, but it will just as happily give you a hot snap-bite(1d4 SDC, but the hot iron hurts like a bastard!).

05: A sturdy table three chairs. And four full bowls of cereal. No spoons or milk. :/

06: Cereal the really sugarry stuff with milk and a spoon... but no bowl... it looks like it's in a bowl but there's nothing there. Oh when you try it the mil is spoiled too.

07: Intergalactic Prophylactic - A 5000 MDC condom that simply cannot be broken by anything short of a full-battery blast from a battleship or dreadnaught class vessel. Yet, it is only 0.00005 milimeters thick and provides full sensation during copulatory engagements. Also, when worn, gives the user the following benefits: +50% to Seduction, +37% to Drilling, +10% to Sexual Navigation. (Take that as you will.)

08: A cube (oh no, not cubes again!!). This one is about 12mm (suck it up and look it up ;p ) and has numbers on every face. Yep, it's d6. But, when you count the faces/numbers, they go up to 7....? But when you look at it, you swear it's a cube....Oh noes!! It's a non-euclidean cube!! Make a save vs insanity and lose.... d7 san points. 8p

09: Mummified Dog----Actually quite friendly and not slobbery(more like sandpaper-dry). Has a collar on it inscribed "If found, return to Necromancer Bob" followed by an address only readable with an Eyes of Thoth spell. Necromancer Bob's a right nasty piece of work, but if you return his dog to him he'll actually be nice to the PCs(like not turning any of them into zombies) and might even be predisposed to doing them a favor.

10: a Large coppper pot. Several swirly pipes and an open. Flame boiling some corn and sugar mixture.
The oldtimer CottonCandy Jenkins. Offers the pc's a sip of the shine. Roll vs non lethal poisons -6 and intoxication lasts until the character sleeps.

11: Wanted Poster---A wanted poster, offering a substantial reward for the captured person, or critical parts thereof, one of the PCs in the party. The poster identifies as the issuer a town/community the PCs(and the wanted PC in particular) has NEVER been in or gone near.
30% chance of the published date of the printing of the poster being exactly one YEAR from the current day. Yep, time for temporal mind####ery.

12: Paternity Suit.
A small village thirty people May be. Upon entering the local Hotel. A young woman Physical Beauty:25 goes up to the male pc with the lowest pb. Yup its his. Dang moonshine.

13: Small Flightless Bird - This 5 SDC bird does nothing but sit on the ground and silently stare at the PC. It has no other function whatsoever. After 4 hours of being starred at, PC must save vs HF 18 or suddenly jump up and run away, screaming with a fright that cannot be named. If this happens, the Small Flightless Bird will then go in search of another PC to stare at. It can be easily killed with a rock, however.

14: Boeing 747---Fully functional and fueled up Boeing 747 jet airliner. Problem is, it's only six inches long, and anybody riding it would have to be the size of a deer tick.

15: A bag. The large kind you get at a convention. It is cloth and seems to be 2.5 x 3 feet on both faces and 3 inches wide. The mouth has shoulder strap from one narrow end to the other. The bag has 30 MDC. Can be repaired by magical means. Should the MDC be expended bad things happen. The bag is a portal to a pocket universe. You can store whatever you can fit in the bag. Once a day or 1d4 days it can be stretched large enough to allow a vehicle in. If the MDC is depleted you will lose all belongings stored within. 1-25%There will be a 4d6x100 mega damage explosion 100 foot radius. 26-50% Everyone in a 10 foot radius will be sucked into a a pocket universe. If not rescued within 30 minutes the portal will close and you will be permanently trapped. 51-75% There is a bright flash and a loud noise and you have lost your belongings. 76-100% A greater demon appears(GMs choice) very angry at anyone near by.

16: Robe of Useless Items - This sturdy full-length cowled robe has 12 pockets sewn on the inside. At any time, the wearer may reach into one of them and pull out a item that is utterly useless to him/her.

Possible items include:

- Big dried wad of pre-chewed gum.
- Plastic spork handle with the spoon part broken off.
- Wayne Smith's grocery list from October, 1995.
- 1/250,000th size plastic replica of an earth worm.
- A copy of Hero System v6.0
- Packet of Baal Rog nostril hair.
- A Comfort Wipe.
- Small piece of tree bark that doubles as a shield if you're less than 1mm in height.
- Cowbell without the dinger inside.
- 5000-year-old potato kinish.
- A recording of Taalisman repeatedly whispering the phrase, "I like them big knockers" 700 times in a row, then it explodes for 1D2 SDC damage.
- A picture of John Belushi autographed by Leonard Nimoy.
- A Murmur From The Megaverse in which Kevin absolutely promises that Mechanoid Space will be released before 2279 CE.



17: Thumb Tack---It's about 15 ft in diameter, 9 ft long, and weighs about seven tons.

18: Boa of Delightfulness - This red feather boa, when worn, will cause all within a 5' radius to save vs Awe Factor of 17 or be compelled to say, "That boa is delightful." It has no other functions.

19: Electrical Switch---Not connected to anything, but if flipped, a random member of the party experiences 1d4 seconds of utter and completely mindblowing bliss(depending on the disposition of the person, this can be akin to a drug high, an intense spiritual experience, or a really intense orgasm).

20: Neural-Net Sarcastic Furby of Adhesion - This Furby is equiped with a neural-net intelligence and programed only to respond to the actions and comments of the PC with elaborate sarcastic answers (in a uber-annoying high-pitched voice) such as, "Is that your prediction, Nostra-dumb-ass?", "Oh noes! You've hoisted me on my own petard!", and "You're a wonderful conversationalist, Grunty!", etc. Worse, once it is touched, it magically adheres to whatever body part it first came in contact with. It can only be removed with a combined Supernatural strength of 50. Anything less rips the skin off the creature for 4D6 SDC/MDC damage.

Note: The TGE has dropped billions of these on CCW worlds through the use of their Etherium stealth vessels. It is one of the primary reasons the CCW and TGE are at war.

21: Sixpack of Whupass----Opening a can in this sixpack will instantly reduce the person to 1 Hit Point/SDC/MDC, all without breaking the skin(recover/repair the damage as normal) and leaves the victim feeling as if they've just been whaled on by a very angry god of beatdowns.

22: Snuff of Snuffing - This snuff, when thrown into the air, will snuff out any snuffable light source for 1D10 melee rounds within a 10' radius including torches, lanterns, LED lights, flourescent and incandescent lights, lasers, glowsticks, Zero Kay's toupee, bioluminescent lights, and even spells such as Globe of Daylight and Lantern Light. 2 pinches per box.

23: Big Knockers---A set of large brass door knockers, fairly stylistic, worth about 25 credits for the brass, 45 credits to a collector of the particular style. If fastened to any door of Nightfactory's, using them will result in the door being blasted in, with 1d4 SDC backpressure damage to the person doing the knocking. That's getting off light; the doorbell had a claymore directional mine wired to it, and the bell cord would have dropped giant leeches on the poor sod. Wear protection always.

24: Baby rattle of cuteness. Anyone picking up this item can't discard it and as long as they're holding it those around them have to roll vs. An awwwww factor of 16.
On a failed roll:
Women will develop an intense maternal instinct to the person. Roll vs. Magic or try to nurse the holder.
Men roll vs. Magic or try to give the holder a piggy back ride.

25: Thumb Drive---A small high-capacity flash drive. Inserting it into a computer to read its contents, however, infects the hardware with a low-IQ AI troll program that scrambles your readouts like a keyboarder who doesn't believe in a spellchecker, proper syntax, complete sentences, proper use of capital letters, or punctuation. It will also make inane statements that make no sense whatsoever("why Yu haTe disney?" "like see moar DRaguns!" , etc...). If the computer has an verbal interface, the AI will chatter nonstop about nothing in general, and nothing in particular. Removing the troll virus will require several hours of Computer Programming work, but there's a 25% chance that it will only lie dormant for 1d6 days before popping up again, requiring another hours-long session of wipe and reboot.

26: Shatner's Cursed Phaser - This MDC phaser pistol does 5D6 MD to any target it is fired against, range 500', and has an effectively unlimited payload. Unfortunately, with each pull of the the trigger, there is a +10% cumulative chance that the person firing it will begin to talk exactly like William Shatner. Should the an individual be afflicted with this curse, they suffer the following penalties: -50% to Be Taken Seriously, -25% to Bang A Showgirl, -5 to Save vs. Infomercials, and will be afflicted with Male Patern Baldness. On the plus side, neither Chantico nor his followers will ever attack the PC. Throwing away the weapon has no effect and Remove Curse is also ineffective. The only way to rid oneself of the Curse is to seek out the City At The Edge of Forever and sacrifice a uncircumsized male wombat to The Shatner at midnight during a solar eclipse.

27: Little Bunny Slap Slap - This object appears to be little more than an SDC children's toy, a cute bunny rabbit. However, once per hour, it will say in a cute voice, "Fluff the bunny!" If the possessor pets it, nothing will happen. If they do not, though, it will animate and slap them with a supernatural PS of 250, doing 6D6x10 MD damage. Those who are not killed outright will be knocked through the air for 1D4x1000 miles, suffering an additional 1D6x10 MD damage upon hitting the ground, and with a healthy new respect for cute fluffy animals. Floopers are immune to this attack.

28: Jar of Ghost Peppers---One quart jar of ghost peppers. Anybody with a P.E. of less than 16 taking a bite of these mean-hot beauties must roll versus non-lethal poison or be incapacitated(-1d4 to initiative, dodge, strike, and parry) for 1d4 melees as their taste buds scream for mercy, their sinuses flare, and their eyes water. There are about 50 peppers in the jar, worth about 50 credits for the whole jar(more to a spicy foods enthusiast or dietary masochist).

29: Can o' Spinach--- You find an unopened and undamaged can of spinach. It's contents are edible. Consuming the spinach places a curse on the PC. Their forearms appear bulbous and increase in size by 4X their original diameter and are positively riddled with cancerous growths. The victims face contorts as his/her eyebrows and cheek muscles are forced into a permanant squinting expression which reduces vision (both sight distance and quality of vision) by 2D4 X 10 %. Speech is also impared and the victim can barely get a sentance out without stammering, stuttering, mumbleing and speaking in non-sensical "curse" words. The victim also aquires astonishing anger management issues, and is predisposed to fighting at any given opportunity.

The symptoms of this curse can be cured with a Remove Curse spell, but recieve a +1 to save for each malady. Also the symptoms can not be cured all at the same time, they must be cured individually.

30: The lil black book.
The acrid smell of burning flesh. The find a male body smoldering from the waist down. Shoved in his mouth is a small black book. Its contents the addresses and contact information for 700 females within a 250 mile radius. The last entry has Elaine. Freak. Wow. Married.

31: The Sephora Configuration - This ornately-crafted puzzle box can be physically manipulated by the owner in various ways so that some parts of it will rise up and move to a different position. There is a 01-40% chance per hour that the owner will eventually find the right configuration of the cube, opening a portal to a dimension filled with high-end make up products. If the portal is opened, 1D4 demonic women with big hair will appear, seize the owner, and give them a complete make-over, permanently increasing their PB by +5, but reducing their MA by -5. After this grueling proccess is over, the women will depart, magically removing $1000 from the owner's bank account.

32: Wristwatch---A cheap-looking wristwatch(complete with leather wrist band) that keeps fairly accurate time. However, if worn against bare flesh, an eye will open up in the watchface, and the wearer can actually look through the eye as if it was a part of them. Though obviously one can more easily look around corners with this, it's something of a gag-gift in Splynn.

33: A left sneaker. No foot inside just a left sneaker.

34: The Pin----A simple metal tack or pin, but it's the Proverbial Pin That Dropped; dropping it on the ground will cause a resounding boom and effects similar to a boomgun in a 200 ft radius.

35: A burned out husk of a 55 chevy Belair. First character to touch the car is swarmed by 1D4×100 paper wasps. No real effect if in environmental body armor, but potentially deadly otherwise.

36: Michelangelo In A Bag - This small ordinary-seeming cloth bag conceals a secret. When opened, a pink mist spills out of it and forms into the famous Itallian Renaissance sculptor Michelangelo! Michelangelo will be very disoriented and frightened, running away from the PCs as soon as he can. Chances are he will get himself run over by a vehicle. Sad.

37: Michealangelo. mystic ninja level-15. Turtle.
The legendary orange masked turtle is sitting eating pizza. Signs an autograph for the the characters. Then promptly asks for 3.50$

38: Judi Gun - This gun resembles a regular Colt .45 automatic pistol. When fired at an opponent, each bullet magically transforms into Judi Dench who informs the target that they are a "misogynist dinosaur" before slamming into them with a flying full body block. 2D6 MD, plus targets weighing less than 1 ton have a 01-80% chance of being knocked down, losing initiative, and one attack. After hitting the target, Judi Dench vanishes. The clip holds 7 Judi's at a time.

Note: Not to be confused with the Gidget Gun which, when fired, causes the target to compulsively eat cotton candy until they get a tummy ache.

39: teasmade-basically a runed version of a Victorian automatic tea service set! the spirit inhabiting it is a VERY proper English butler that speaks with a thick British accent!

40: Road-Mart.
A large discount shopping plaza. Inhabited by deformed mutants. All items are cheaply made.

41: Ghost of Archie Bunker - Basically it just follows you around calling you "meathead!"

42: Purity.The players find a young maidens lost purity. Do they take it or return it??

43: A large Stick in the mud. Try as they might the stick will not budge. Requires a Supernatural Strength of at least 200 to pull the stick out. And its just a normal birch stick.

44: A cheese sandwich. Sitting off to the side of the road is a small brown paper bag. Its contents.....a cheese sandwich.

45: A box with 1d6+4 small leather purses of powder (golfball sized).
When purses are tossed the explode covering the target. The power seals away the magic from the magic user for 1d100 years.

46: A pack of Freeport 100's menthol cigarettes. No lighter though.

47: A Lighter---Sadly, this is not a GI-issue "Reliable" Bic; it is a Self-Combustor. Anybody actually trying to use it will find a 1 ft radius of the lighter sprayed with lighter fluid, followed by an ignition spark. The resulting flash-burn will do 1d6 SDC, with a 60% chance of lighting combustible materials(clothing, hair, etc.) on fire.

48: Stuffed Honeybadger----Stuffed for now, but wait another 2d6 hours and after digesting its current meal, it will be hungry again and happy to eat somebody's face off.

49: A preRifts comic book.
The adventuring party is on the cover. The contents their last adventure. And possibly a glimpse of there next adventure.

50: Hungry Honeybadger---What they're like when they're not stuffed. Not being around this random item is strongly advised.

51: Honey Bear.
A tall thin man wearing a purple wide brimmed hat and a white suit stands of to the side of the road.
"What it is"
"Jive Turkey"

52: GPS Direction Finder---The tutorial program on this data tablet promises you directions to any known place on Earth you'd care to go, provided you input as your starting point your more-or-less exact(within a mile) coordinates(like ' third house west of Survivor Boulevard and Apocalypse Drive' and not 'Old Maryland Territory'). It will refuse to give directions otherwise. If you DO input your starting point, the screen will provide a quick montage of superimposed geographical, radar-contour, and old pre-Rifts maps with what appears to be aerial/orbital video footage before locking on to the PC's present position. Then the Orbital Bombardment System opens fire, doing 1d4x100 MD to a 10 ft radius, centered on your position. If you were ever paranoid and obstinate about providing your home address to MapQuest or a librarian when asking for directions to somewhere, this either justifies that attitude, or it's karma making payback.

53: Eight-Ball---A giant black and white solid sphere, 10 ft in diameter. It either has an enormous 'eight' or the sign for 'infinity' on it. Either way, don't get behind it.

54: Dimebag.
The spirit of one of the sickest guitarists ever is shredding on his guitar!!
Jamming with him is a 12 foot tall Viking on a monstrous axe shaped guitar.

55: A randomer item table. Before you sits a large table with some sort of machine on it. You can only find one switch on it and when you flip it on a nozzle on the device starts extruding material onto an articulated platform after a couple minutes you can tell it is creating a 3d image.

Roll again. The item created is an exact replica of whatever item is rolled. It is inanimate, non functional, not alive, and besides looking like a fine rendition of the item provides no benefits or detriments whatsoever and the item is only a single color roll:
1 red
2 blue
3 yellow
4 black
5 green
6 pasty yellow, fluorescent green
After the device finishes the switch clacks loudly back to the o-f-f position. Flipping the switch again will create another item, roll again.
The item it produces is scaled so that it can be held, weighs no more than 5 lbs., and is 1d20 SDC
If the equipment is tampered with the circuit board becomes irreparably damaged and will cost 2,000,000 credits to procure a compatible pre rifts board.

56: Cleansing Booth---A device not unlike a photobooth, cheerily decorated and inscribed in several Galactic(Three Galaxies that is) languages, including passable English and Dragonese, and advertising 'an invigorating experience'. The credit counter seems to have been jimmied, so anybody stepping inside will be given a free 'an invigorating experience'. Roll to dodge(at -5 due to the close quarters) or spend the next 2d4 minutes being automatically stripped, tumbled, cut, trimmed, shaved, ablated, scrubbed, bodily orifice plumbed, moussed, rinsed, dried, manicured, and brushed. Those who manage to crawl out after this treatment will feel like they've been molested by a car wash, but also the cleanest they've ever felt. The booth can process about 1d4x10 people before it signals that its filters and supplies need to be changed.

57: Giant Hamster Ball---Yep, it's a 10 ft diameter giant plastic hamster ball, currently unoccupied. Has about 100 MDC too. Wanna go for a run?

58: Partially Neutered Giant Hamster. Very Angry! Looking for it's missing Giant Hamster Ball. Hamster has 87 MDC, does 1d4 MD claw attack and 1d8 MD bite attack. A nat. 20 on a bite attack results in the victim being swallowed whole, unharmed, and stuffed into the hamsters cheek pouch for later consumption.

59: Torn Map--A hand-drawnm map with landmarks nobody recognizes. The scrawled notes on the untorn, unburnt, unbloodied, and still there portion of the map speaks of some horrific weapon called 'the Emasculator'...Doing an Object Read on the map draws up jumbled thoughts of great vengeance, desperation, and leg-crossing agony.

60: Amazon Hunting Expedition---A group(equivalent in numbers to the PC party) of Amazon warriors(see Rifts South America) on the prowl for parts of a map to a weapon called 'the Emasculator'. They'll ask(any female PCs) if the PCs have , or have heard if/seen, such a map, and either ignore or glare at any male PCs. If the PCs actually have the map(or parts thereof) they will demand it. If a fight breaks out for any reason, and the Amazons are defeated, looting them will turn up (another) scrap of map. If any of them get away, they will be back to dog the PCs(especially if the PCs either have their own scrap of the map, or have acquired the Amazons' map). These are rogue Amazons who have broken away from the Minoan enclave and seek to establish their own kingdom.

61: Tarn Map... Yup a map or rather giant Atlas detailing where Tarn has been. If returned to her and the PCs wait for her to review the Atlas she will comment on how she hasn't been to some of the places... But the most recent location is one she was just considering not 30 minutes ago.

If the group likes Tarn it ends on a final note from her, in even older age than she is, commenting on having to leave her exploration days behind her and entrust the future to her student (suitable fan boy/girl in player group's name here).

If the group doesn't like Tarn her gruesome ending is described by one of her traveling companions.

62: Amazin' hunters... Well not really, because they're just that good. GM start having the party start rolling perception checks "too frequently". Make lots of off hand comments and odd reactions like:
"Okay"
"Never mind"
Smile like you have something up your sleeve
Smile with your mouth covered.
Dismiss the rolls as nothing to worry about
Start rolling behind a shield or your hand
Let out a little laugh and then snap your hand over your mouth like you didn't mean to do that.
When the players start yelling at you because "something is going on" or "your up to something" look shocked like they caught you and act like a person who knows they're caught but is trying to dismiss the charge.
Have a piece of paper you keep in your pocket and occasionally take out, unfold and look at when "you think no one is looking."
If you have a player you can trust with a gag, start passing "notes" back and forth and looking at each other "knowingly".

After the party starts getting paranoid start to use one of their "perception rolls" each time the group rolls for the following table, feel free to come up with more and post them... Maybe we should start a new thread for that.
-It's too quiet
-You know that feeling you get when someone's staring at you...
-What's that? Nevermind it's just the wind.
-Did you see that? (have an NPC spend the next several minutes pointing to an area and swearing they saw something)
-You hear a loud snap come from behind you. The PCs may figure out that one of them made stepped on a stick, but didn't notice because of their mdc armor.
-Suddenly all the animal noises go quiet!! A couple minutes later someone comments its probably because they're making so much noise.
-As the party just starts to sit down for a break, someone sees a canned drink sitting nearby, without an owner. If someone grabs it they will feel the sweat in the can and that its still a little cold and half empty, they must still be nearby. After a few minutes on high alert Have an NPC from the group come back zipping their pants group and then start yelling that someone moved their drink and yelling LOUDLY yelling at someone probably drank it too.

After the party has been suitably tortured and made paranoid, as they walk on, the entire group is snatched up into snares... Even giant robots and tanks, EVERYTHING... and each snare is perfect for each person in it. A fairy is ensnared as they flew too near a small branch. Even Vampires can't mist out. These are inescapable. After the hopelessness is described to them, people seem to form from nothing, come over and cut the characters sown by hold them up by the snare line. Photographs are taken, there is laughter and congratulatory gestures. After all the pictures the characters are held on the ground face down and then there is nothing.
Have this happen to the characters a few days in a row and then whenever they get upitty, just the last emasculating part not the paranoia part.

63: Centaurs.
A large herd of 6D6 centaurs. Carrying mismatched splugorthian weapons and piecemeal armor. Wide eyed and crazy. They have obviously escaped from a slave barge.

64. Cyber-Horsemen.
A large herd of 6D6 Cyber-Horsemen. They are carrying hocky sticks, Maple syrup and Putine(sp?). Friendly and helpfull. They have obviously escaped from Canada.

65: Giant Rolling Pin---A giant rolling pin comes careening down the path at the PCs. Those who fail the dodge get run over for 4d6 MD of damage(HALF that if the ground is soft enough to simply squash them into the soil. The rolling pin itself is some 75 ft long(plus another 25 ft for the handles) by 25 ft in diameter, weighs some 50 tons, and has 400 MDC. It moves at roughly 60 MPH and in a straight line, Once past the PCs it will keep rolling into the wilderness for some 3d6x10 yards before it is knocked off straight by the lay of the land and rolls out of sight, where upon it disappears.

66: A sleeping Giant. A greater norse giant. 24000mdc bio-regenerates 1D4×100mdc per minute.
All attempts to wake him fail. Any damage dealt is almost instantly healed. After one minute of attack if attacked he simply fades into nothingness.

67: A Baker Norse Giant... Looking for his rolling pin roll dodge or be stepped on. 99% chance you end up in the tread on his sandal like those ants you try to smash but keep missing because of your extra grippy sneakers... Darn sneakers... Wait no, good giant sneakers.

68: Rhino buffalo mating season.
Six large males battling it out twenty females waiting for the winner to emerge. The females turn and flee unless cornered. The males fight to the death anything that draws their attention, then resume combat amongst themselves for the right to mate.

69: A spork, yup a spoon fork combo, but instead of being a spoon with prongs this has a spoon on one end and a fork on the other.

70: A spork, another spoon fork combo, but instead of a pronged spoon this is an shoveled fork... Fork with a curved tip or a spoon that had slats cut out of it. Either way, mostly useless.

71: Promethean Army Knife---Bigger on the inside than on the outside; besides the standard blade, spork, nail cutters, comb,compass, fish-scaler, scizzors, and file, it can also extend a table saw, power lathe, overhead drill press, spot-welder, metal stamper, steel roller, triphammer, and and metal grinder/polisher. And apparently a nuclear powerplant somewhere in there, too, because the big equipment doesn't seem to be wanting for power.

72: "Amazin' Hunters" TV show Film Crew & Host.

73: Tattered Newspaper----The date reads December of 2008, and the faded headline reads "Palin Beats Obama!". Little else remains legible of the paper.

74: Silver Plate---A tarnished commemorative silver plate engraved with the names of several pre-Rifts state politicians, in honor of some great personage visiting their state. To a collector of pre-Rifts history, it would be worth 3d6x100 credits. To a vampire hunter or mercenary wanting silver for anti-supernatural weaponry, it would be worth 1d4x1,000 credits for its metal.

75: a oldman on an mdc riding lawnmower leveling rocks small trees and perfectly cut grass. He ignores the characters gives a wave and continues leveling the areas around the large trees.

76: Old wizard riding something you can't see. Whatever it is is leveling rocks small trees and leaving perfectly cut golf course fairway grass, even where there was no grass. He ignores the characters gives a wave and continues leveling the areas around the large trees.

77: Cow... standing still as you approach it, it motionlessly moos. It continues to moo but only when you move. On further inspection, it is made of plastic and a motion sensor must trigger the moo. While inspecting the body passing an object under the udders causes the udders to eject liquid. It's fairly thick, you just hope its supposed to have the consistency of yogurt... but it smells disgusting.
Roll vs. psionics +3 a failed roll means that every time you hear moo you become nauseous vomiting 50% of the time.

Moo

Moo ugh

Moo ehh

Moo well at least it doesn't make me...
Moo
Moo

78: In-ground Water Sprinkler System---Pre-Rifts system with computer control, designed to draw upon local watershed, powered by solar power(solar cells hidden in local trees) and was last set in 'intruder detection mode', but has been acting quirky due to system deterioration over the centuries. The PCs will be well within the field when the sprinklers pop up and thoroughly soak them.

79: Keys... They're yours.
80: Keys... They're yours.
81: Keys... They're yours.
82: A hole in your pocket, now you know why you lose your keys.


83: A flying saucer,
The ship is a flat disc with running lights around the rim with a ramp that folds down from the underside to be able to load/unload both cargo and passengers. The hull is painted with a smart paint that can change it colors and patterns down to a 1mm x1mm pixel. Unlike where many cultures build ship, the control deck near the center of the ship.

Tons; 50
SDC: 1250
AG Drives: Atmo.: Mach 10, SF: 20

Consolidated Bonuses
Plasma heat weapons only do Half Damage
Ion & Particle weapons only do Half Damage
Incoming mini-, Short Range-, & Med. Range Missiles have a 30% chance of Premature Detonation. roll for each volley.
+3 Dodge
+2 Strike w/weapons
+1 Strike w/ laser turrets
+10% piloting rolls when docking

Features
Med. Laser (opposite vehicle/cargo ramp) range: 13 miles space/1.3 miles atmo., 4d6x10 SD
Light Laser in Retractible Concealed turrets (2) One on top & other on bottom. range: (s)6 mi./atmo. 0.6 mi., 1d6x10+6 SD
Trans-Atmo. Capability
Basic Sensors Upgrade
Auto-pilot (90%)
Standard Crew Quarters double wide (room w/attached bath) "Captain's quarters"
Standard Crew Quarters (3)
Normal FF 285 SDC
Tracking Radar & Combat Comp. (+2 strike, +1 dodge
Atmosphere Recycling System
Sleep Stasis beds (4)
Vehicle Storage Bay (internal) rated 10 tons.(for hover ATV, cost pro-rated from the fighter bay costs, 75,000 cr.)
Magnetic Shield
Grapple 100 ton rated
Normal FF Rated at 649 SDC
Auto. Hull Sealing Systems
Motion, Perimeter, & Collision Warning System full
4 modules/tons of cargo space w/10 cases of mili'spec meal packets: 20 count each.

84: a flying saucer. no, not that kind. a simple china saucer, basically a tiny plate about 3-4 inches across, white with floral design on the edges. within this pattern, in gold leaf, are the words "Whoever sitteth on this saucer and willeth in thought to be taken up and set down upon other site will, in the twinkling of an eye, be borne thither, be that place nearhand or distant many a day's journey and difficult to reach." in very tiny lettering. (note: users will not shrink to fit, and large individuals trying to sit on it will most likely break the fragile saucer.)

85: Redundancy Hound---Like a HellHound or DemonHound stat-wise, but it's a much nicer-dispositioned slob and effectively unstoppable as a literary device. It smells useless redundancies and homes in on them, devouring the redundancy, opening the energy and space in space/time for other things to grow there, after which it will belch, wag its tail, and then run off to seek more wasteful redundancy to devour.

86: (Missing)

87: Discarded Fast Food Franchise Napkins---About a dozen soiled napkins and about a half-dozen fresh ones, plus several empty fast food boxes and containers, all bearing the franchise icon of a pre-Rifts fast food franchise. Thing is, these things look like they couldn't have been dropped more than a couple of days ago...

88: You find a APFSDS kinetic penetrator lodged in you entering your right shoulder on the rear and exiting just under your left rib in the front. There is no blood and you can push it back and forth painlessly. It can only go as far forward as the fins. As you push it out the other way something clatters on the ground and emits sparks. If you were using a finger on the pointy end it stops at your skin. The other end can now be moved about in a wide range, as if the point where it is touching your skin is a pivot point. If you finish pulling out the KP as soon as the point leaves contact with your skin something clatter on the ground and emits sparks. There is nothing wrong with you or the KP... well except that you may be confused on whyaKPwouldbeinyouorhowitwasinyouorwhyyouweren'thurtorwhereitcamefromor... but the KP is just fine and has no issues though it may be wondering why your holding it and staring at it like that... creeper much? Or you may just be transferring human thought onto a non-human object.

Damn Promethian practical jokers, for when the fake arrow through the head, head band won't work...

89: A thread necromancer... A person in dark robes is surrounded by many pieces of string which seem to be poorly animated. The strings are pulling themselves free from worn out clothing. You don't know how you can tell but all the string seem for turn and look at you. [if the PC is wearing new or at least good condition clothes] the strings charge you and rip of your clothes. [if the PC is wearing old clothes] the strings loose interest and continue to sample about the thread necromancer.

90: Area denial spell experiment sight.
You've returned to where your home town should be... No wait this isn't it.

A mage was attempting to develop a spell that would deny an enemy an area by use of force. He failed. What he managed to make is a field that makes everything in it non existent to those outside. Your home town is four feet away. Not only do you no longer remember it being here but you will do all you can to not enter the field. Hopefully someone who remembers you on the inside will reach out and pull you in. It will give you a headache that will incapacitate you as your mind copes with the two realities but once you stabilize in 3d20 minutes you will not be able to be affected by the particular field again.

91: Wha? Roll twice and COMBINE THEM
92: Seriously! Roll three times and COMBINE THEM
93: That's just not possible. Roll four times and COMBINE THEM
94: Okay so who did this? Roll five times and COMBINE THEM
95: Wait... What? Roll six times and COMBINE THEM
96: That's not even funny. Roll seven times and COMBINE THEM
97: I just can't comprehend this. Roll eight times and COMBINE THEM
98: WTH!? Roll nine times and COMBINE THEM
99: How is that even possible!! Roll ten times and COMBINE THEM
100: Uh... I refuse to admit to seeing that on the grounds that it may make me insane?! Roll eleven times and COMBINE THEM

[Zer0 Kay]

Thank you abtex. Now I can cut and paste and parse and only have to edit a smidge. Your awesome.

[CyCo]

#1

A beanbag 'chair' in the shape of Zero Kay.

[Zer0 Kay]

02. A random item list... Hmm, how can that be, it is blank?

[abtex]

03. You find tree that has grown around a bulletin board. Attached to the board is a (nearly) blank random item list, next to it is a dimmer switch. If you turn the knob, the list has more items appear... WOW!!!

04. While standing there, a hatchet hits tree beside the board. No attacker can be seen. But when you look back, a new item is on the list.

[CyCo]

05.

You find a old, faded Polaroid photo. In the photo you see two people who seem to be playing Twister. But they seem to be nude. But it's hard to tell as the photo is very faded, they just could be wearing nude body stockings. Written on the back are the words "Oh what memories!" and is signed by Zer0 Kay and Abtex.


8p

[abtex]

06. There is a cork sign hanging sideways on a wall with the letters "C Y C O". When looking closer, you see that it's really a dart board where the rings have come loose. The darts are still that. But the letters are being held in place by several knives, hatchets ... but the bullet holes and laser burns may strange shape.

[CyCo]

heh lol

8]

[abtex]

heh lol

8]

Did I do good?

[CyCo]

Certainly! Gave me a chuckle. 8]

[Zer0 Kay]

7. A psychotic electronic toy otter. When you wave at it, it chirps and waves and bounces on its bottom. If for some reason you wave a paper in front of it it starts chirping and bouncing toward it while reaching for the paper. If you wave a blank piece of paper in front of it, it starts chirping loudly, gets red eyes, pulls out a gun from no where (some assume it is hammer space but it is actually butt space and starts shooting... fortunately they're caps. Don't worry, it is mostly cute, often annoying and sometime presents the illusion of being dangerous.

[Zer0 Kay]

So what is this list 12?

01: SCREAMING FEATHERY DEATH FROM ABOVE!! 1d6x10+5 damage is taken. No save, no parry, no dodge. NO MERCY!

02: Players will notice the immediate area (20 ft radius in all directions, even up!) is doused with blood, bits of bone, and gobbets of flesh; as if a bubble of gore suddenly and violently burst. Any type of magic or psionic ability used to determine what happened will yield the following result. WTH did you see that!? There was a screach, something blured past and Dave exploded!

3. You find Al Gore. he says nothing but has a self satisfied grin upon his face. Using a power to find out what's up results in:

WTH did you see that!? There was a screach, something blured past and the climate exploded!... I was right the ice caps melted and the sea rose.

Just don't tell him it was the return of Atlantis and the glaxiers are just fine.

4. A petrified hamburger falls out of the sky from no where. If your wearing armor there is a big thud and a petrified hamburger falls to the ground. If your not wearing armor... You come too on the ground with a raging headache. There is a petrified hamburger next to you.

#5

A hamburger in a styrofoam container with a logo that looks like a pair of Golden ArchesTM. You find it simply laying on the ground. When you pick it up and open it, you see a Big burger. Has a light dusting of dust on it. If wiped off and eaten, it will provide you with a portion of a meal. You will feel the need to have some fries, a diet cola, 6 nuggets with your favorite sauce, an apple pie and a sundae. What those things are, and where you can get them, you have no idea. But at least you didn't get sick from the burger. Possibly a first.

#6.

A bucket of buckshot. There is 1d10x1d100 in the bucket.

Oh, they're bucks (male deer), and alive and kicking.

That's a big bucket, but you should have seen the size of the shotgun!!!

7. A full size Zentradi in hunting coveralls. He is carrying a giant shotgun and looking on the ground for something. He is friendly toward humans, but is distracted and may accidentally step on you. This sight brings beckons a few thoughts, and for some reason neither are about what he's looking for, as if that's already taken care of.

What the heck does he think he is camouflaged with, you can't quite figure out the pattern.

What the heck is he hunting?

What freaking gage is that shotgun?

Should I really be around to find out what he is hunting?

Do those coveralls come in your giant robots size and who makes them?

8. The reason chickens cross the road... and you don't like it. You know how birds are supposed to be descendants of dinosaurs? Ya may not know but back in the 00s they did an experiment to see if they could tweak the birds genes and it grew teeth. Weeeeeell apparently this chicken has devolved. You follow this rather tall (6') poultry to its nest and find not only baby chicken raptors but what must be the population of a small town in bones....

9. (Mostly from taalismn) As your looking around searching for loot some kid walks up to you and says. "If you guys are waiting for Goddot, he can't make it today, he said that he will surely be here tomorrow."
If the players wait only the kid arrives. He doesn't recognize them and tells them the same thing. This happens every day the players wait.

10. A boxy robotic dog, it doesn't work anymore and everything is burned/worn out

11. A cross, while your holding it a six-gun preacher marches up to you and puts his gun in your face. "Gimme er cross ya ungodly bastard." he grabs the cross with his free hand never taking his aim off you. "Now as the good book says 'an eye for an eye'."

What the PC doesn't know is. The preachers wife was murdered and he was just told the man holding her cross is the one that did it. Guess who's cross the PC was holding?

12. A man , dressed all in black, with a wide brimed hat and white collar stands over an unmarked grave. He hold some sort of religous book and a small silver cross. Praying out loud, you hear him ask forgiveness from his Deity for the blood spilled by his own WRATH.

13. You don't find it, so much as it finds you.......Free toothache!!! All these months of wandering the wilderness has left your dental hygene a bit wanting. The result of which is an agonizing toothache that hurts so much you actually contemplate sawing off your own head.

Minus 5 on initiative rolls and HALF all combat bonuses untill he can get to a dentist or other suitable body fixer.

14. Chewing Foil. There they are, laying on the ground as pretty as you please, several (1d8+4) shiny pieces of aluminum foil. They seem to be the exact shape and dimensions (of what modern era earth dwellers can identify) as a stick of chewing gum. Any players passing within 1d6 feet must save vs psionic attack/mind control. A failed save results in the PC picking up one of the pieces, popping into their mouth and chewing it! Pc takes 1d4 damage (effects both sdc and mdc beings the same.) and ALL rolls/actions are reduced by 1/2 for the next 1d4 melee rounds as blinding pain radiates from the characters teeth through jaw and into their brain.

15. +1 Bible of Thumping. An intact leather bound version of the (protestant) Christian Bible. This is a minor holy weapon/object (all standard abilities). Striking the book with the palm or bottom of the hand produces a resounding "THUMP" (see spell Thunderclap). The effect can also be achieved when used as a blunt weapon to strike an opponent 'upside the head'.

Can be used by PC's of good alignment with no penalties to abilities/effects/durations. Use by other alignments: Selfish -25% to all abilities/effects/durations. Evil -50 to all abilities/effects/durations.

*Continued use/possession (regardless of alignment) will result in a alignment shift every 1d4 months until PC is of Principled alignment. Discarding the book will allow the PC to return to their previous alignment, but the GM should make them play the return out.

*Optional

16. Podium of the Word – A discarded wooden podium. If stood up and used (standing behind and talking) ones speech becomes loud and direct. It doesn’t matter what the subject is discussing, it just sounds urgent and with the last word in every sentence pronounced. If used in conjunction with the +1 Bible of Thumping, the area effect of the bibles power is tripled.

17. a good strong pair of Synth-Hide Gloves—Actually a pair of Blameshift gloves. When accused of something, the user (while wearing the gloves) can point at any other sentient being within LOS and say, “He did it.” The accuser immediately blames the target of the pointing for the transgression, no save.

Really handy when you **** off a demigod…

18. Boots of Uh uh. (cursed item) while wearing these boots the wearer always happens to stand between two people. When some one is about to point or nod or otherwise gesture or direct anothers attention in your another's, you always disappear in a puff of dust nearby but nowhere in the vicinity of the directed attention. You are completely unaware of the shift. These boots have also been known as not me boots.

19. A toaster oven it isn't what you think. It is a full size oven that for whatever reason only cooks toast. And by toast I mean lightly charred bread.

20. Toaster---A backpack flamethrower with a toast-making attachment, just in case you want to have breakfast while scorching for vermin(or committing a wartime atrocity). Sure, the toast smells of napalm, but it's perfectly toasted. Oh, and it even has a no-drip cheese holder. What will those home appliance geniuses come up with next?

21: Bottle of Magical Musk---A crystalline atomizer half-full of a lavender-colored fluid. If spritzed at somebody and inhaled, on a failed save versus magic, the spritzee will be attracted tow the spritzer, and their alignment shifts a level in the direction of the spritzer's. for the next 1d4 hours, the affected person will behave in ways meant to impress the object of their affection, as long as it is consistent with their shifted alignment. After the musk wears off, the victim will have only vague recollections of their feelings for the other person. The atomizer has enough musk for 6 applications.

22: Some guy in Deadboy armor walks over and lumps the lifeless body of a D-bee at your feet and skips away. Weird, apparently its a gift and your his new object of attraction. Meee Ow

23: (miss phrasing intentional for humor, please no need for correction) After you wade through the remnants of a battle between the CS and a army, group, uh... heard of minotaurs, minotauri... is this like moose and the plural is the same as the singular... anyway. Making it to the far end of the battlefield the CS has circled the wagons and there is a bunch of smoke coming from the middle. It smells like... steak, just don't ask where they got it from. You've found a... barbeque?

24. Bottle of Barbeque Sauce---Extra-Zesty flavor...for hominids(that is, for use on hominid meat). Long pig, anybody?

25.Personal Communicator---A modern comm unit(glorified cellphone) with a defective silent paging function. If activated, the 'vibrate' function reveals itself to be rather hyperpowered(set on 'jackhammer mode'); -2 to initiative, -2 to strike, -20% to maintain balance, and -25% to any skills requiring fine control as the device's wearer violently trembles as if they'd swallowed a whole bottle of earthquake pills, and look as if they're in real danger of snapping their necks(or getting a bad case of whiplash). If in a crowd, at close quarters(1 ft distance), the wearer will unintentionally body-slam 1d4 people per melee. On the plus side, the character is +1 to dodge. This state lasts for as long as the device is on(the battery is good for 2 hours), the device is turned off(turning the device off counts as 'fine control'), or until the incoming call is cancelled. Afterwards, roll under ME or be dizzy and discombobulated(-1 to initiative, strike, parry, and dodge, -5% to maintain balance) for 1d6 melees. Roll versus non-lethal poison to avoid losing your lunch and upchucking all over the ground/companions. The problem cannot be fixed without destroying the communicator.

26. (Edited, to fit the rules) You come across a large Personal Communicator that is displaying a message "Delivery in 5 seconds." and is counting down to Zer0 with a loud beep. Looking around that nothing coming. Then a Triax style Drop Pod lands right behind you. When opening it contains Hunting gear, a single huge pair of giant size camouflaged coveralls. The camouflage pattern is made up with a nearby town's stores logos and names. They would make the wearer a walking billboard. What looks like long barrel recoil-less rifle made into a shotgun and ammo for it, marked as a Punt gun. Also found is a map taped to a rest of other oversized hunting gear, leading to a local site circled with 'DuckBills here!' on it.

I am not going to say anything about the Zentradi in a towel standing outside the pod. Saying "Good, my hunting kit is here. If you have a good sized truck, I've got a job for you."

27. Also found in the Drop Pod is a Catalog, with several dog eared pages .....

28: Biotech Catalogue---A glossy, but dog-eared, album, printed in several different languages, for 'Madam Gaia's Bio-Boutique' which apparently sells genetic modifications and biosystem implants. Those dog-eared pages? Well, they look quite real, alive, they twitch to follow your movements. And the fur on the cover looks particularly warm...

29: Rotten Tomato--You can tell it's rotten because it just threatened to cut off your 'nadgers if you don't hand over your money, your guns, and the most delectable female in your group. Seeing as the tomato in question is six feet in diameter, has 8 tentacle vines, a supernatural PS of 30, 150 MDC, six attacks per melee, and is bradishing three laser rifles and three vibro swords at you, it just might be able to make good on its threat.

30. A tomato that's saucy- A tomato with a towel wrapped around its waist walks across your path, it appears to look at the most top heavy woman in your group (if no women are present to offend one will be provided for you) as it "looks" (cuz a tomato has no eyes) it "accidentally" drops its towel. Then starts doing what must be a pelvic thrust, while saying crude comments. When confronted about talking to a woman like that he scoffs and says he's talking to the cantaloupe twins.

If it is explained to him, he apologizes and turns eggplant purple in embarrassment.

31. Two cantaloupes suspended from a clothes line in a bra.

32. A Lovely Pair of Coconuts---What they're doing here of all places, is anybody's guess.

33. A Pre-Rifts Manga Copy---It's Sci-Fi RomCom with some of the characters looking suspiciously like members of the party. Whoever wrote and drew this apparently liked the idea of shipping the two most mutually antagonistic characters in the group(regardless of their gender...eck, yaoi!).

34. A western Romance novel the two people on the cover look just like you and someone in the group that can't stand you. It says the novel was written by the other person.

35. A box of q-tips, the q-tips are about 3 feet long and have balls of gotten the size of your fist wrapped around each em Uh, they're also used by something large to clean out earwax... You hope.

36. Hearing Aide---An electronic hearing aide the size of a basketball, and obviously meant for something BIG. It could probably double as a loudspeaker with a little reworking.

37. Ceramic Lawn Gnome---A pre-Rifts lawn gnome, caked in dried blood.

38. You see some blood covered Ceramic Lawn Gnomes burying some there you have never seen before. But for some reason you know that it's a 'KnitPicker'. What a 'KnitPicker'? Go over and put it back together, to see it. That is if the Gnomes let you.

39. A robot Lawn Mower seem to be on guard duty in a nicely cared for yard and garden. It's watching your party closely.

40. Robotic Weedwhacker---A robotic weeder seems to be engaged in combat with mutant weeds, regardless of who wins, they'll come after you next, because you're standing in their territory.

41: Bottle of Tequila---With a live Worm of Taut(any variety) in it. It's not happy that it was stuffed, via magic, into a decidedly small bottle, and will cheerfully take out its rage on whoever opens the bottle.

42: Bottle of Wood Alcohol- Um this stuff gets anyone tipsy just from smelling it (see cross-eyed for a week), will kill any mundane if they sip it and will give any greater being including Old Ones liver, or whatever they use for one, disease. The bottom of the bottle says made OF Wormwood.

43: Square Table- A large square table washes ashore or falls from the sky which ever is closer. It has a blue and red segmented design which fans out from the middle each made to have an equal share of area. There are names like Lancelot, Bedwyr and Tristan.

44. Chessboard---A chessboard made of alabaster and obsidian. No pieces included. If pieces are put on the board, set up for a game, and left unattended, the next time somebody looks at the board, it will appear as if a game has already been played, with pieces scrambled on the board, and others removed from it(lating next o the board).

45. Headphones---A headset, with earphones and attached microphone. If put on, a squeaky voice speaking with a mangled accent will begin asking the wearer questions about what's their favorite robot vehicle, what's the strongest person in their party, what details about their lives and adventures, who do they think is going to win the Minion War, etc...Roll versus psionic attack each melee the headset is on; a failed roll means the person is effectively being dominated and will answer the questions, even if they are of a revealing, personal, or security-sensitive nature. The person also loses a point of IQ per melee they are under the headset's influence. At an IQ of 0, the person is effectively a drooling vegetable, limited in action only to spastic tremors. The victim can regain their IQ at a rate of 1d4 points per day, but not if they still have the headphones on. The headphones are a demonic manifestation of an entity known as an Intellect Siphon, which feeds on other people's cognitive energies. Removing the headphones and destroying them(a simple matter; the headphones only have 1d6 MDC) will free the victim from the brain-suck and allow them to start the process of recovery.

46. A disarmed Glitterboy with giant head phones on, is dancing and making jet assisted cabriole, echappe, entrechat, jete, tour en l'air, and pa de chat. Bounding with strength of a kangaroo, flying through the air like a sparrow and landing with the grace of a cat... A half ton cat but still. And not just that doing moves that look like they're from a cirque's silkwork act. The artiste is part of a traveling circus practicing his routine.

47. A Glitterboy lands near you with a deep thud, takes a couple steps and stands stalk still as it fires at something. Your blown back 60 or so feet from its recoil compensation system and you can't hear anything but a tone in your ears. The GB leaves. When you go to investigate what the hell happened you find another GB, disarmed, and decapitated. From the stat its in it appears as if it too was jumping through the air but was either sent head over heals to land upside down against a tree or was doing flips. nah, it probably got flipped by the impact of the shot... now what's that guy over there trying to say to you?

48: a new Helmet shaped like a GlitterBoy's head.

49 A bit of skin with a tiger tattooed onto it. The tiger jumps onto the 1st person to touch the skin, the the old bit of skin crumples to dust. That person not has a Magic Tiger tattoo that when activated is in full living color. (not the gray most magic animal tattoos look like when activated.)

#50.

A bit of skin with a tiger tattooed onto it. The tiger jumps onto the 1st person to touch the skin, the the old bit of skin crumples to dust. That person has a Magic Tiger tattoo that when activated is in full living color. (not the gray most magic animal tattoos look like when activated). However, this tattoo was created by someone who couldn't spell. And also stuffed up the magical ceremony somewhat when they initially created the tattoo. So when you summon the tigger, it bounces around on it's tail, singing something like "the wonderful thing about tiggers".

#51.

You spot a donkey. A sad donkey. A purple donkey. Actually it's a sad purple donkey. He comes up to you and asks you if you've found his tail. Make a save vs ritual magic or become sad & depressed for 1d4x10 minutes.

52: Pilloried Arse---A set of stocks, set up beside the trail/road, with a man locked in them, his posterior positioned towards the path. A sign(in pictures, if necessary), or a helpful bystander, states that the man is pilloried for various public offenses, and his punishment is to be available to have his butt kicked by any passersby for at least a day. The man is blindfolded and gagged, but if freed of those, he'll deny that he's guilty of any such things as stated. However, after some discussion with the guy, one quickly gets the impression this guy is an @$$(he can be a bigoted jerk, a conscience-less bandit, a hopeless punster, a bully, or suchlike). Whether he deserves to be punished for it, is up to the players. On the other hand, if the PCs are feeling depressed and feel no compunction about inflicting a little pain, haul off and start kickin'.

53: Magnifying Glass---A small brass-and-glass magnifying glass. If used on something, it will quickly reveal itself to show not simply an enlarged image of things, but things unseen. At the GM's prerogative, it can show fingerprints on objects, UV damage to skin, invisible writings, microscopic societies living on larger things, the entire light spectrum, magically hidden/camouflaged objects. etc.

#54. Steampunk Goggles---These goggles are carved out of wood with brass/bronze trimmings with inlays of intricate designs or gears placed into them. The lenses are not glass, but some sort of thin cut crystal. Colors vary (though ruby quartz is popular for some reason). Putting on the goggles alows the user to have x-ray like vision alowing the user to see through most substances. Maximum depth penetration for this effect is 5ft. Sliders with additional lenses of varying intensity are toggled into place to acheive different depths of the x-ray effect.


#55. Bad Lip Reading---You encounter a being who appears to be the same race as the most prominant race within the party and speaks the dominate language, (or just default to human/english). He is not agressive, but every time he speaks his mouth does not match the sounds comming out of his mouth. Is it a skill that allows him to do this? Magic? Some sort of translator?

No matter the origin of the phenomenon the result is the same. His speech is very disorenting and kind of annoying, so much so that all who can hear AND see it must make a save under their M.E. or be compelled to Kung-fu fight him and each other.

56. Milli Vanilli CD----A CD of Milli Vanilli's 'greatest hits'....only the CD case play list doesn't match the actual order of music on the CD. Worth about 100 credits to collectors of pre-Rifts memorabilia, about 1 credit to anybody who actually knows who Milli Vanilli was.

57. Model Rocketry Kit----Enough materials and engines to make up about a dozen model rockets with a range of about 3,000 ft(would do about 2d4 SDC if used as a weapon at ranges of 500 ft or less. With some tinkering and some extra materials, they can be converted into flares or incendiary weapons.

58. A rocket booster seat a dozen model rocket engines are strapped to the bottom of a child's booster seat. Wow, musta been one sick puppy that made this up.

59. A dagger of invisibility superior. To activate it you have to unsheathe it but someone always considers the act of unsheathing it a hostile action so the spell never works... it is a nice looking dagger though.

60. Letter Opener--- Simple letter opener that does 1 point of SDC. However, it's enchanted with a Spinning Blades spell(1d8 level) that does damage as normal.

61: Missing Number---The Gods of Order noticed that this list is out of order. THey therefore have decreed that here is the missing number. It doesn't do much but cause the list roller to ROLL AGAIN.

62: Envelope---A blank mailing envelope, legal size, with MEGAVERSAL POSTAGE PREPAID stamped on it. . If something is put inside and the letter sealed and addressed, the stamp space will briefly glow with the energy of a miniature rift, and the letter will disappear. Note that the envelope is too small to package a grenade ir anything heavy.

63: A package with MEGAVERSAL POSTAGE appears in front of the PC(s) containing a mini-cd single with The King's return to sender song on it.

64: A StormTroopers Armor: 100 MDC and fully environmental. And is fully immune to red blaster fire and fully vulnerable to blue blaster fire.

65. You find a white suit of armor that appears to be made of plastic, not unlike a plastic man armor... Except it is a plastic woman armor over what would have to be a really tight bodysuit. And BOY does she have a rack... of weapons right next to the armor. They look different but the suit is a stylize plastic man and the weapons are several modified north American weapons.

66. A 100 gift card for target with a digital read out.

If the PC keeps ot with them enemies have a +4 to hit and are drawn to attack the carrier to the point that they will fight over who gets to shoot the carrier and will even go up and point to who was closer to center mass in the middle of combat.

Each successful hit by the opponent reduces the cards number by 1.

67. Bull Terrier---A bull terrier with a round red fur patch around one eye. It's a fairly friendly normal dog, though it has a tendency to piddle on robots, power armor, and cyborgs if not watched. There's no other identifying marks or collar, so the dog is effectively up for adoption if the PCs would like.

68. Bull Terrier---A bull terrier with a round red fur patch around one eye. It's a fairly friendly normal dog, very friendly, and very well behaved. It will trail any particularly large, powerful, or interesting-looking group, though the dog will run off and hide if the group runs into trouble, always returning if and when the PC group wins, or gets ready to make a quick retreat/escape. A VERY close exam will reveal several chips of metal in its skull, and only constant monitoring of EM frequencies will reveal that the dog is making regular transmissions. The terrier is, in fact, a Lone Star Dog Boy, with a physique of an unmodified dog, but human-level intelligence, better than average psionics(including Autodefense Mind Block), and an implanted scrambled transmitter. The Dog Boy is a loyal spy for te Coalition States, and, if ever discovered, will quickly desert the PCs to try to get back to his superiors in the CS.

69. A church there are piles of bone everywhere. Guess it was all a load of bull

70. A church there is no one in the church, only piles of clothes in the pews and on behind the pulpit. Their faith rewarded.

71: A building full of healthy friendly people gathering together in a pot-luck. Welcoming the strangers into their midst to join in the meal the socializing.

72: A tank full of sharks at the end of the treasure map.

73. Freaking sharks with freaking lasers on their heads. Fortunately your miles away from the nearest body of water. Unfortunately these are LAND SHARKS.

74. The truth, but you can't handle it... cuz it isn't a physical object, duh.

75. TRUTH---Carved twenty feet high out of black granite and very much a physical object(or set of giant letters). There's nothing around it to suggest who made it, and what truth it's referring to.

76. Soda Vending Machine---A soda vending machine, selling popular brands. Anybody putting in coins and selecting a soda will get a surprise when they reach in and try to get their can/bottle; the machine is a disguised shape-changing supernatural predator*fairly dumb, but smart/telepathic enough to try to assum what it thinks is a perfectly innocuous appearance to lure in prey) .

77. Slot Machine-- An old looking but functional slot maching. If the lever is pulled roll 3d8 to determine spin results.

1.(a). Cherry. If a single cherry is rolled in any slot the reels will spin 1d6 times finally comming to a stop on "3 in a row" of a
single 1d8. (roll 1d8 to determine the outcome for all 3 reels, just so you arent stuck rolling forever).

1.(b). Cherries. When 3 of these symbols are rolled, roll once on this Randomer table.

2. Lemon. When 3 of these symbols are rolled, roll once on any Randomer table of the G.M.'s designation. If the effect is
positive, congratulations-you have turned lemons into lemonaide. If the effect can be considered negative then those
effects are are considered to be "doubled".

3. Watermelon. When 3 of these symbols are rolled the P.C. feels refreshed, rejuvinated and regenerated. Any effects of
sleeplessnes, hunger, thirst and fatigue are gone. Also the P.C. heals 3d6 (?).D.C.

4. Bell. When 3 of these symbols are rolled a peircing sould comes from the machine. This loud and irritating noise can be
heard up to 1 mile away. G.M.'s discretion on what hears it and comes to investigate.

5. Blank. Any reel that comes up "blank" will re-roll that individual reel untill a non-blank result is rolled.

6. "Triple Bar". When 3 of these symbols are rolled the G.M. rolls 1 result from 3 different Randomer tables.(total of 3 results)

7. "Lucky 7's". When 3 of these symbols are rolled the P.C. will find that any credit stick/card on him will have increased in
value by 01-100%. (roll percentile).

8. Joker. When 3 of these symbols are rolled the machine starts spinning the reels. 10 seconds later the reels land on 3.....2
and finally .....1. (even though 1, 2, and 3 are not on the reels normally). upon reaching "1" the machine explodes
causing 3d6X10 Damage to everything in a 20 ft radius. Somehow, the slot maching is unharmed in the explosion.

Players can choose to roll untill they get a "reward". Once a "reward" is rolled by a player, he/she can no longer spin as the machine will stop working for that person. Move on to the next P.C., if they decide they want to spin. Once all the P.C.'s have rolled or definitively determined they do not wish to poll, the slot machine disappears.


78. Fencing Cyber-Knights-- You come across a pair of Cyber-Knights fencing. Thats right. These 2 knights have taken it upon themselves to repair the fence on a strech of land for an old farmer that was unable to do so because of an injury. The knights are both Lvl. 1d4 + 4. It is undetermined if the labor of fencing has inreased their swordsmanship abilities.

79. A cyber knight trying to fend off a four armed monster. The monster is using a tri-beam sword, wills laser sword, phase sword and a Amaki psi sword. The knight parries a paired... paired... paired weapon a strike with a psishield. Before the strike lands you get a migrane, apparently all the variables of the swords interacting with the shield are too much. It feels like your head explodes (1d10 S/MD)

80. A mini missile strikes your vehicle/armor in a random location except the main body it only does 2MD and the blast radius is 1,000' all your other LOCATIONS are hit and everything around seems to have been blown by a strong wind but nothing else happens. WTH, you think, those can't hit me there and they surely don't damage everything else on me and hardly anything to the environment... You spend the next 1d4 minutes pondering on this before you decide there is no point and walk on, knowing that in this world it must have been a fluke. Horrified of going through a rift to a world where a single grenade or missile will kill you... yeah like a single standard caliber bullet to your unarmored torso would have a chance to kill you... whatever, no sense pondering science fiction.

81. A small group of DBees with a human female who is very easy to look at comes up to you and starts to ask you questions about your reactions to the above 'Attack'. While she is asking and recording your answers on her I-Pad style clipboard. Mean while the DBees are scanning and taking readings of your vehicle/armor with different devices. Some may even be trying get inside to look around, without asking. After a half hour or so. She gives you a piece of Digital paper with a map and pass to a near by location, telling you can visit if you want. As they are leaving, you see a small cloud drift off your vehicle, seemly taking the damage with it ?!?!?! The vehicle they leave in is strange looking, almost grown than made.

Do you spent time looking even your armor, to find out what happen? Have your medical device do a full check-up? Are just follow the map and ask what happen? Run like crazy Just go about your own business or finishing your mission?

Wonder if there is .... any sense pondering science fiction.


82. You come across what looks like copy of vehicle, right down to small markings and passed repairs. When you ask where the owner got it from. He says from a near by marketplace or trading post. They have several other ones available, along with a bunch of vehicles and armor. Ask for something and they will have it or find it in minutes. Gear and spare parts, even the vehicle seems more grown that build. The owner even says it acts like it's live, trying to make him happy to own it.

The driver says that the Trading post deals in trade of old stuff and salvage, not credits. Everything they have like new, even if looking old and beat up.

Do you really want to know?

Could be by or from:
1) DBee tech or links to other dimension.
2) 'Rabbit Hole' leading to a Golden Age buried complex
3) Something made by one Tman's "CeeFy 'Galaxy Mother'Biomechanoid"
4) Then it could look that way.
5) Something else, maybe....

83. Noob Genesplicer practice: You find a biomech bike. The "vehicle is still too... animal. The bike looks like some sort of canidae was twisted into this form. The front paws permanently hold a wheel. The handle bars are formed from the ears. The seat not far behind on the animals back. The alterations seem to stop there as the hind legs are still present and are how the bike is propelled. The animal's intelligence is still present and the bike acts like a lost dog. The animal doesn't seem to be in pain.

84. A white van:

1-40 The van is empty, up on blocks and stripped
41-60 Says "FREE CANDY" on the side, works if you can get fuel
61-80 Says "FREE WI-FI" on the side, the inside is burned out
81-99 Says "FREE CANDY AND NAPS" on the side, it is running and there's some old dude sleeping in the back on a pile of candy
00 Says "FREE E-CLIPS" on the side, as you approach to check some tentacles beast jumps out and tries to pull you in. It's the new Sploog slaving tactic.

#85

A black van. It has a red stripe down the side, and across the spoiler on the rear of the roof. As you approach the vehicle a african american with a beard/mohawk combo steps out from around the other side and says "I pity the fool who messes with my ride'.

Make a save v Fear Factor 25 or run in fear of scratching the black van.

#86

A dog collar with a leash attached. Problem is, judging from the size of the collar, it would suit a dog that would stand 10 foot high at the shoulder. Maybe it belonged to that Zentradi in the hunting camo you saw a few days ago, the one with the huge shotgun?!?

# 87

A dog. His name is Garfield. He's an incredibly confused hound.

#88

A turkey. If you get closer, you see it has small metal bumps on it's head. Congratulations, you've just met your first Wild Turkey. With the full combat stats of a 15th level Crazy. It takes offense and attacks. It also has a Naruni forcefield belt around it's neck.

Good luck.

89. You find a dinning room set for American Thanksgiving. The cooked Turkey is standing wings akimbo. All the fixings are floating through the air... Oh no, its the poultry geist.

90. A piece of broccoli stuck in your teeth when your talking in an important situation. If you are not in a conversation you don't fund it yet. But it is there. If you don't have a conversation for a month its still there... and it decays as normal. When speaking save 9+ or pick it out in the middle of conversation. Your breath has an HF of 1 for every 2 days it's in there. Importance of conversation determined by GM. After discovery and removal resistance failure roll on following table:
•1 You manage to get it out deftly, the person your talking too doesn't even notice it. (No HF roll)
•2 You get it out with some noticeable tongue action it becomes distraction the person your talking to doesn't catch an pertinent but minor detail.
•3 You get it out by blowing through your teeth. The resulting awkward moment results in the person your talking to missing a whole step.
•4 You have to dig it out with a finger nail. The conversation turns to the broccoli, half the conversation is misunderstood.
•5 You spend so much time digging this thing out the person your talking to gets offended and as they start to turn to leave and you say "wait" the broccoli ejects from your mouth and flies straight at them. They may roll to dodge an attack of 12. The conversation turns to how disgusting that was.
•6 You get it out with a combination of maneuvers but it causes damage. Your gums are bleed profusely... rediculously. The person your speaking to is concerned, disgusted and insulted as they lean it to try to do something to help you the dang thing finally comes out it shoots through the air. You see it in slow motion as the thing navigates its way into their eye... even if they have sealed armor! Of course you just see the part where it hits the neck deflects upward and disappears into some seam in the armor and then the person just grab at their face plate and start cursing.
+1 to roll for each week it has been in your mouth. Add roll to HF. Remember whenever you talk to anyone and it isn't that important conversation they gotta toll HF, unless one or both of you are in EBA or better.

91. A brand new toothbrush still wrapped. After you brush your teeth with any toothpaste your breath smells just like the toothpaste, To YOU. to everyone else it smells like you ate a combination of kimchi, steamed cabbage and brussels sprout soup, garlic onion pizza limburger cheese, the excrement of a skunk that ate the same thing and one dirty, dirty shizno. When you breath you kill flowers and small animals, when you belch hazmat teams are called in. People prefer to stick their nose... no their head up another persons posterior in order to escape the stench and with out that rout available will become sudden practitioners of yoga. It is not unknown for your victims to be found it the classic Archaeopteryx fossil pose. No one except those with incredible willpower can hope to withstand this breath that puts dragons to shame (HF 20, victim may add any save vs. insanity bonuses). To remove stench you just have to brush your teeth with a different tooth brush 1d4... x 1d6... x 1d8... x 1d10... x 1d12... x 1d20......... x 1d100 times, with toothpaste of course. Of course you, not being able to tell what your breath smells like, have to test it out occasionally. And the smell doesn't gradually dissipate it is either their or not.

92. You find a dimmer switch that looks like it was pulled out of a wall. You fidget with it and nothing happens, you subsequently dispose of it. Meanwhile (read in voice of super friends voice over guy) back in the Imperial throne room of Chi-Town Emperor Prosek trips on a raised floor tile he couldn't see because the lights keep fluctuating. Back at the Black Vault several troops lie wounded or dead and a couple of Enforcers are battered because the giant door to the vault randomly swung open and closed. Does the player somehow figure out the importance of such a seemingly worthless device? Does the CS figure out a way to track the device down? Only one way to find out, see it here next week on Light Swap.

# 93

A dimmer switch from a car instrument panel. This dimmer switch, when fitted to any vehicle, will give the vehicle enhanced sensors, without installing any other sensor equipment. But what you get is another question.

1. Infrared
2. Ultraviolet
3. X-ray
4. Sonar
5. Radar
6. Ladar
7. See the Invisable
8. Gm's choice

The range depends on the 'standard' sensor package of that vehicle, if none fitted, treat it as a 100 meter range. Duration is 1d10x1d10 minutes, or until the setting is changed again. If used more than 5 times in one 24 hour period, everyone who has used the enhanced sensors must make a Save vs Magic or go blind for 24 hours. This save only has to be made by people who have used all 5 vision modes during the 24 hour period. Thus it might take some time before someone goes blind. And they won't know if it's permanent or not. When the players work out how it works, let them use it for a while. But when they really start to abuse it, it disappears from their vehicle. After all, that found it randomly somewhere, didn't they?

#94.

A vending machine. Looks like a typical drink vending machine. It might be one of those that just dispenses cans, or it might be one of those with a clear front that dispenses bottles. When a coin is inserted and you make your selection, the can or bottle is dispensed out the bottom, but has been opened and is empty. Even if you can see the bottle is full, when you get it, it's empty. If anger is taken out physically against the vending machine, it morphs into a suit of PA (Say, a Super Samas), and attacks as if piloted by a 15th level Elite PA Pilot. If fired upon, it morphs into a Robot Vehicle (GB, or maybe Enforcer....of if the party are more powerful, give them something bigger to fight). Again attacks as if piloted by a 15th level Elite Robot Pilot (select applicable skill).

95. A vending machine it sells used underwear, a historian of oddities would think it was a transplant from Japan... if it wasn't selling men's underwear. For your convenience they're already turned stained side out so all you have to remember is brown in back and yellow up front.

96. A Ninja ninja. A Ninja motorcycle that transforms into a ninja. It is 1:1 scale but non functioning, cool but functionally impossible. (hmm, maybe some magic...)

97;

Ninja! 1d6+4 black clad Ninja jump out from nowhere and attack by throwing shuriken!! Each one in fact throws 5 of them, either at the same or multiple targets. +20 to hit (they're Ninja!), and each one does 1d6 damage (SDC/MDC/whatever's applicable). The then vanish before anyone can respond. Even Hyperion Juicers can't get the jump on them. If anyone has any sixth sense or other psi power running, all they get is a vague impending sense of doom, but even they can't tell how soon or when whatever is going to happen will happen.

(based on an ongoing encounter in an old AD&D campaign many, many moons ago. lol)

Alternately, this.

98:

A pink fluffy pillow. This is an enchanted pillow, and will give you a good nights rest if you use it as a pillow when you go to sleep. No matter what you do, you can't hide the fact that it's a pink fluffy pillow (think fake sheepskin rug type pink & fluffy). Paint & dye don't stick, a pillow case (or other material) will just dissolve away into dust (even mega damage material). It can't be rendered invisible.

If used for a week, you even gain +10% experience points for the following week. But.....there has been an enchantment cast upon the user. Everyone but the pillows user will see the person as if they were dressed up as a 'fairy god mother', or 'fairy princess'. Dressed all in pink, with a pink tutu, leggings, corset, etc, the person will look to be, simply a Fairy Princess. They will still look like themselves other than that. So same height, same equipment (though armour looks to be a dress, etc....), a jetpack might look like wings, etc. They even has a diamond tiara on their heads. Even if they look in a mirror or something else that casts a reflection, all they see is their normal selves. And this also means, men will still look like grown men. Dressed as a Fairy Princess. In Pink.

Can be removed by the usual methods of removing enchantments/curses, but this also removes the benefit of the +10% experience points.

If a woman uses the pillow, she also gets +50% Charm/Impress.

Despite who uses it, after a week, it disappears.

99. A black leather pillow with spikes and steel plates. This is an enchanted pillow, and will give you a good nights rest if you use it as a pillow when you go to sleep, even if you lay on the spikes and plates. No matter what you do, you can't hide the fact that it's beyond tacky (think bad biker from 50's b-movie tacky). Paint & dye don't stick, a pillow case (or other material) will just dissolve away into dust (even mega damage material). It can't be rendered invisible.

If used for a week, you even gain +10% experience points for the following week. But.....there has been an enchantment cast upon the user. Everyone but the pillows user will see the person as if they were dressed up as as a cast member of the Rocky Horror Picture Show... and I'm not talking Brad or Janet on arrival. Dressed un black leather BDSM gear, with a ball gag, hose, corset, etc, the person will look to be a pervert. They will still look like themselves other than that. So same height, same equipment (though armour [edit: ahhhh i just realized with the cut and paste i used the British spelling of armor, damn there goes our 200 year old rebellion, may as well come back and reclaim us England. I'm sorry fellow Americans I've failed you ] looks to be a of various BDSM attire, etc....), a jetpack might look like wings, etc. They even have a studded collar on their neck and a leash connected to it. Even if they look in a mirror or something else that casts a reflection, all they see is their normal selves.

Can be removed by the usual methods of removing enchantments/curses, but this also removes the benefit of the +10% experience points.

If a woman uses the pillow, she also gets +50% Charm/Impress.

Despite who uses it, after a week, it disappears.

100. The End. That's right. Your walking around minding your own business when you run into the End. Now if this happens before you've defeated your opponents or if you have "unresolved issues" in your life, you you hear booing and comments of a horrible ending. You loose your PPE and ISP for a day. If you defeat your opponents there is cheering your HP & SDC/MDC are doubled for the day. If a character in your group has died, and the player hasn't yet made a new character, there is applause and crying and if it was a PC there are comments on how they'll be brought back in the sequel, the dead PC is resurrected.

Credits roll Character Played by Player, Directed by GMs name, based on a story written by KS blah blah blah. Oh the player has to make 1d20 dodges against the ridiculously long credits or be hit for minimal damage in a comedic way. Everything goes black for EVERYONE for some time and then Part X starts.

[Zer0 Kay]

I shall have the random item generator updated and available on request in a couple days

[taalismn]

08: Robot Arm---The characters come across the arm of a Northern Gun robot vehicle. Problem is, the arm is floating in the air as if it were still attached to the robot it came off of. It will also MOVE as if still attached to an invisible, but insubstantial, robot vehicle. If the characters ignore the arm, it will float/walk off into the distance, but if they attempt to salvage/attack it, it will fight as if manned by a 10th level robot pilot, appropriate to the specific type of robot. The arm has full MDC for its type, and any integrated weapons, with unlimited shots for energy weapons, though combat will be limited to ONLY what the arm is packing(or, by the robot specification, what it can pick up and use) and not what the rest of the robot would be carrying(it's just an arm).

09. Robot Leg---A disembodied robot leg, moving as if still attached to a robot vehicle, Trailing it will mean a journey of MONTHS into the wilderness with no specific destination(or, it could just lead to the remains of a mercenary camp, or back to Northern Gun). Attempting to attack/salvage it will result in the lag fighting back with any installed weaponry, or by kick/stomp attack, as if it were attached to a robot piloted by a 10th level pilot. The only way to really stop this thing will result in its total destruction.

[say652]

03.
Hearing Gunshots and the sounds of a Battle, the party stumbles upon 7 Ulti Max robots Blasting and Back Pedaling at a Gianormus Spiny Ravager. The beast is over 125 feet tall 300 feet long!
(Take a Spiny Ravager and add the leyline mutation Gargantuan to see bonuses)
Everyone should Roll vs a Horror Factor of 21.

[Rockwolf66]

Can someone please post lists 10 & 11?

04. 7 Ultimax robots doing the cha cha.

[taalismn]

12. A wrecked NG 'Salamander' truck with a line of a dozen NG labor robots standing outside in an impromptu assembly line using supplies from inside the truck. Anybody approaching to see what they're diligently assembling will get to see the line start up and a 'product' make its way down the line towards them. The last robot in line then takes the finished cream pie and smashes the observer in the face with it.

[abtex]

Can someone please post lists 10 & 11?

They are on the page 24
Edit -- Screw-up links fixed

List 10
List 11

[taalismn]

13. A Coalition Skelebot wanders by, wearing a sombrero and shaking a pair of maracas. If left alone it will ignore the characters and keep dancing down the path. If attacked, it will fight to destruction.

14. A pocket calculator. If turned on, a little electronic voice comes on and claims to be 'ARCHIE-3.2' ad promises that if the characters restore it to its proper place of power, it will make them more powerful than their greatest dreams. If pressed on how and where this restoration of power is to take place, the calculator hems and haws before shamefacedly admitting it apparently doesn't have enough memory to remember where it's supposed to go. It can still do basic mathematical problems REALLY well, however(Basic and Advanced Math at 99%).

15, Automated Self-closing Toilet Seat, No hands or reminders needed.

[abtex]

At the top of the page is (or Here):

7. A psychotic electronic toy otter.

Well, need a start on # 13?

01: Robot Arm---The characters come across the arm of a

16: You come across a confused 'Nitpicker' bird, that is wondering if it's in posting #9 or #16. But flys off as a cream pie hits the Sign post it was sitting on.

[taalismn]

Okay, thanks....renumbered mine so Say and Rockwolf's posts can be renumbered as #10 and 11 respectively....

[Zer0 Kay]

Can someone please post lists 10 & 11?

They are on the page 24

List 10
List 11

Yep, IIRC the great abs did them too. . Of course page number may verry depending on personal settings. But I'm sure the links go directly to the posts.

[say652]

17. A drunken turn off the century pirate, slurring and hard to understand -85% language skill.
Well translate enough to learn he is lost.

The pirate stumbles off after a melee.

If attacked he fights with his sword as a 15th level Juicer with double the number of attacks. Any attack roll over 10 causes a knock out.
Any damage the players receive is reduced zero, unless the role is a knockout.

They players awaken wrapped in a ships mooring line, not tied just wrapped hap hazardly around them like the are tied up.

The male pc with the highest Pb is naked with a tattoo on his butt saying "Sea Turtle, Mate"

[CyCo]

# 18.

A butt pirate.

Run!!!!!!!

8p

[say652]

19. A rat strangling a pigeon. Normal rat, normal pigeon, just weird thing to see. Hmm

[taalismn]

20. A 12-ft long tube sock.

[Zer0 Kay]

21. A 21' long tube steak... ... ... a giant hot dog, come on people. What were you thinking?

[Zer0 Kay]

Alright New lists put into item generator. Anyone want it, just e-mail me. Ramease.shaw@gmail.com please make the topic line Random Item List so I can filter for it, thanks.
I've added a button on the first page with a macro, all it does is select a blank cell and delete it to "re-roll" the item. Alternately instead of using the computer to produce random numbers (and I like this method) you can still make your players roll a D12 for the list and a % for the... percentile and just put them into the appropriate cells. I always use this as something for my players to do when I need to leave the table.

[say652]

22. Four Brodkil holding several farmers hostage.
Two of the men work the field, the seven woman care for the large Goat herd and several children perhaps a dozen are playing with toys near the giant demons.

[taalismn]

23. Five Brodkil being forced to work a field, while several men and women sit on the side of the field, wearing swimsuits and drinking cocktails, with heavy weaponry close at hand. The fact that the squishies are wearing swimsuits should tell you something....

[say652]

24 a man wearing a white suit with a song southern accent calling himself the colonel.

[taalismn]

25. Five cases, each containing 24 19-ounce cans of red cabbage soup, marked in Cyrillic. Russian Army standard issue rations, dated '2015'.