On a personal note

[Kevin]

It has been one of those weeks . . .

Those of you who follow my Murmurs already know that September sales are in the gutter and that I had to temporarily lay off Jason Marker and Wayne Smith. Even though it is temporary, it was a difficult and painful decision. Even though sales always drop in September, it is an unnerving situation. While we are all confident sales will pick up with the release of new titles and the 2009 Christmas Surprise Packages (October-December sales have always soared every year in the past), our current situation is still disquieting. So many Palladium friends and fans are hurting financially, it's a bummer. Which is why I’m planning on making the 2009 Christmas Surprise Packages bigger and better than ever (more on that to come in the next Press Release).

Sales seem to have picked up a bit this week, but they are still up and down. I cannot yet tell if this is the usual spike we see when a new book is about to be released (a lot of the sales this week have been Palladium Fantasy titles which suggests it is), or whether overall sales are starting to rise. Certainly this morning’s sales were not good, but yesterday's sales were, and sales all year have been an up and down roller coaster ride. Fingers are crossed for a strong weekend.

Things are in the dumps on a personal level too

A couple weeks ago, after I learned my father, Hank, had cancer, there was a day when Jason Marker asked if I was okay because I looked like hammered excrement. This week I feel like hammered sh . . .

I’m stressed to the max, I actually feel weary and every bone in my body aches.

My father, Henry (79 years old), was in the hospital recently. He has bladder cancer and was in for surgery. All things considered, the doctors are pretty hopeful. They believe they got the tumor and the cancer is contained to the bladder, but things will largely depend on how well he responds to chemotherapy and if the assumption that the cancer has not spread into other organs proves to be true. Time will tell. Should know more around the first of next year.

Out of the frying pan, into the fire

On Saturday I get a frantic call from my Dad’s long time girl friend, Arlene. She had been rushed to the hospital Friday afternoon and may be seriously ill. Doctors are running a battery of tests and don't know what's wrong yet. Her blood platelets were way down -- normal is 150,000 -- when she was admitted they were down to 10,000!!! Problems with a low red blood cell count too. She has Lupus and this could be related, but nobody knows yet. She may have to have her spleen removed. I pray she'll be alright.

Living with Dad. Arlene and my father live together, and with her in the hospital, my Dad cannot be left alone, so he has been living with me in my apartment since Saturday. He needs a fair amount of attention and has been coming to work with me. Wanting to be helpful, he has signed at least 100 books for Christmas Grab Bags and accompanied me on errands. But mostly the poor guy wanders around with a worried look on his face. I would think he’s bored out of his mind, but he says no and that he doesn’t want to be alone at the apartment. I've been making his meals, taking him to the doctors and chemotherapy, and taking care of him the best I can. There is no other family here in Michigan, so we are on our own, but doing okay.

Dad is holding up reasonably well for the moment. He's mainly depressed and worried, not just about his own situation, but about his girlfriend and Palladium Books too. His mental and emotional state is troubled, he has trouble remembering things, has trouble dealing with modern technology (forget about using a TV remote or cell phone), and he is distracted and easily confused at times. It hurts seeing him this way. He is a great Dad. Then there are moments and days, where he's pretty on top of things. Today was one of those, so that was nice. We've had our share of laughs and goofing around and have enjoyed conversations and our time together.

I spent the entire day with Dad yesterday. Took him to breakfast, prepared him for chemo, drove to the doctors, tried to be funny and make him laugh (which worked, we had lots of laughs). The chemo-treatment went very smoothly and Dad was relieved that it was so easy. He's been much more relaxed now that he knows what to expect. We ran some errands on the way home (the doctor is on the other side of town), rested, and watched a bunch of old movies I knew he would enjoy: Blondie & Dagwood (1940), Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator, and Cool Hand Luke. All in all, we actually had a pretty nice time.

Still the pressure of it all is murder. I feel like I’m being pulled in a thousand directions. Gotta get back focused on writing and editing. Couldn’t do it today. Ran some errands, answered some emails, talked on the phone and spent two hours trying to write this dang Murmur. Like I said, words were coming hard today. I think I’m gonna run to the comic shop with Dad, snag my favorite pizza, and take Dad to the apartment to chow down. Haven’t decided if I’m going back to the office to put in a few hours later tonight.

The proof copy of Mysteries of Magic™ Book One: The Heart of Magic is done so I’ll be running out to the printer tomorrow morning to make the final approval and it ships next week Friday.

Doing what we can. Trying to stay frosty.

Sincerely,
Kevin Siembieda
Publisher, Writer & Game Designer
Palladium Books®, Inc. – 28 years of RPG Publishing

© Copyright September 17, 2009 Palladium Books Inc. All rights reserved.

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