Hard times -- the Good Fight

[Kevin]

Hard times -- the Good Fight

I don’t know about you, but it feels to me like the media is only filled with gloom and doom, and bad news, day in and day out.

It seems like everywhere I turn, I hear more bad news: bankruptcy, someone losing his home, illness, death, and more gloom and doom.

Worse, I’m sick and tired of the dog eat dog attitude that seems to prevail in our society, as well as the “I don’t give a ---- about my job or customer service, or doing the right thing.

In short, there are days where the whole world just seems to be a steaming mountain of poop I have to climb. On those days, I feel worn out, beaten down, trapped, and mired in you know what. There have been moments where I’ve felt like crying, screaming, smashing something or kicking the snot out of somebody. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed, or angry, or just too fried to go on.

I was feeling like that earlier today. I hate feeling like that.

Then Eminem came to the rescue.

It’s funny what can pull me out of the dumps, strengthen my resolve and even inspire me. Eminem’s music has done that on more than one occasion over the years. It’s raw, visceral, lyrical and wonderfully written. His choice of words (like them or not) . . . are pure artistry and storytelling.

The song that struck a cord with me is on his new album, Recovery, track 7, entitled Not Afraid.

The refrain goes something like this:

“I’m not afraid to take a stand, everybody come take my hand.
“We’ll walk this road together,
“Whatever weather comes along – you’re not alone.
“Holler if you feel like you’ve walked this road before.”

The song made me think of Palladium and you. And it made me feel strong and defiant.

Man, I’ve walked this road of strife, grief and challenges way too many times in recent years. I’ve been chewed up, spit out and chewed on again and again. Yet I’m still standing and ready to fight some more.

I’ve lost my Mom (who was also my best friend), my Grandma, Keith Parkinson, and Erick Wujcik to cancer (among others). Now my dear, sweet father is battling the beast.

Palladium Books has faced betrayal and treachery, been kicked and knocked low.

I’ve dealt with more challenges, losses, emotion and garbage than I ever imagined possible, and I’m sure more is coming down the pike. Somehow, I’m better for it.

I’m not afraid.

I stand strong. And I’m not alone. I have the Palladium staff, my family and an army of you.

I’ve never been afraid to take a stand or fight for what’s right. I’ve dealt with thieving, lying scum trying to tear Palladium Books (and/or me) down, and here I stand. I’m not afraid. I’m pissed-off. I’m angry. I’m motivated. I'm filled with resolve and determination. I have more strength in me than most people imagine (including myself sometimes). I don’t give up or give in to villainy and treachery, nor fear or fatigue. I don’t shy away from the leering face of death or the monster known as cancer. I fight the good fight. Win or lose, I give it my all. Win or lose, I’m there for my friends and family to the bitter end, even if it’s only to offer a smile, a kind word or my hand in comfort. No regrets. Nothing left unsaid.

I’m there for my Dad.

I’m there for my friends.

I’m there for Palladium Books.

I’m there for YOU . . . Palladium’s fans/friends/family, for without you, there would be no Palladium at all.

I may be many things, but I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid to share my thoughts, emotions and dreams. I’m not afraid to work hard, crazy hard, or to ask for help. I’m not afraid to display my affection or my ire.

It’s who I am. It’s who, all of the above, has helped shaped me into.

I’m actually writing this, probably too long, too raw, Murmur because in listening to that song, I thought of YOU.

I’m not afraid or alone, because of you. All of you. From fans and friends to family, you’ve helped and been there for me. You’ve helped to keep me strong when I’ve thought I had nothing more to give.

I write this, because I know that some of you – too many of you – feel the weight of these hard and uncertain times on your shoulders. That you may feel alone and hopeless.

Please don’t. Please never feel alone. Find joy and peace playing our games with your friends and loved ones. Don’t let the gloom of doom crush your spirit or make you stumble in darkness. Be true to yourself and honest to your loved ones. Be there for those you care about and find the joy life has to offer. Find it and hold onto it for dear life. Cherish what and who you have.

I know this may sound stupid, but I’m there for you. I care. I sympathize. I encourage you to hang on and fight the good fight. I’ll continue to write and publish RPG books that will carry you away to someplace full of adventure and heroics. I won’t let you down. You’ve been there for me, and I’m there for you. Take advantage of the Christmas in July Grab Bags. Play and find yourself in Palladium’s games. Look around during your game as you laugh and shout, and realize that you are surrounded by people who love you. Drink in that moment, hold on to that truth, and let it reinvigorate your soul. Find strength in your friends and family, and find joy in the little pleasures.

Hang tough. Yeah, we’ve all walked down the stinking road of toil and hardship too many times. These days there seems to be more than enough trouble, hardship, and worry to go around. Whatever weather comes along, take a stand, be strong, do not be afraid. You are not alone, we’re in this together.

Sincerely,
Kevin Siembieda
Not afraid and fighting hard

© Copyright July 7, 2010 Palladium Books Inc. All rights reserved.

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