Dear Humans...
Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 3:52 pm
Dear Zombies,
I would be more than happy to stop calling it the "Zombie Apocalypse" so long as you abide by these easy-to-follow rules:
1. I like my brains where they are. And I need them more than you do.
2. Please don't jump out at me when I open a door. It bothers me that I don't know you're there. Knock first, and then I can invite you in for tea.
3. Please don't eat my friends. I like them as humans.
4. Don't be offended if I shoot you in the head. If you were being chased by a ravaging cannibal, you'd fight back too.
5. Take a bath once in a while. You guys stink!
6. Stop drooling on my floor. I just waxed it!
And lastly...
7. Learn how to speak. "uuuuhhhhhhh" and "braaaaiiiiinnnnssssss" aren't conversation starters.
Sincerely,
The Human Race