I haven’t had time to answer the growing mountain of Private Messages, so I wanted to post this Murmur to let folks know I’m hanging in there and doing okay. Honestly.
I’ve gotten numerous calls, emails and Private Messages of support regarding the situation with my father. A lot of people are concerned about me, and wondering if I’m okay.
Yes, I’m okay. And, um, no I’m not.
When my Dad, Henry “Hank” Siembieda, entered the hospital on August 31, 2010, we all – perhaps foolishly – thought he’d be out in 10-14 days. That was the doctor’s projection and, of course, we were all focused on him getting well and coming home. My Dad kept saying he wasn’t going to make it, even before he went into the hospital for surgery. Sadly, he was right.
As you might imagine, this is a strange time for me.
I have moments where I feel pretty good, and moments when I feel sad. In between I just feel worn out and tired, or angry. All part of dealing with grief.
I find myself thinking about all the good times I’ve had with my father: Christmases and birthdays, going to the park as a kid and catching butterflies, bugs and frogs with Dad, epic ping pong battles between us (and his patience in teaching me how to play to begin with), and much, much more.
Of course, this gets me thinking about other loved ones who have passed on. Erick Wujcik bought me that ping pong table that brought me and my Dad so very many hours of fun for years and years. That gets me thinking about and missing Erick, and Mom, and Grandma, and Aunt Jo and Uncle Skip (family friends my Mom and Dad met in the Air Force) and a cascade of other memories. I think about how Dad used to introduce Alex as his "third son." (Alex Marciniszyn and I have been best friends since 8th grade, and he was over our house every day.) Erick telling me how lucky I was to be so close to my Mom and Dad. How our home was full of love and joy even though we were very poor. I think of Christmas day and stacks of comic books under the bed. I think about Dad working at Palladium, the 2006 and 2007 Open Houses, Mom’s debilitating battle with cancer and how Dad never left her side, and myriad other things.
As I said, some make me smile and laugh. Some make me proud of my wonderful father. Others – sometimes even the memories that make me smile or proud – make me sad or teary-eyed.
So yes, all things considered, I’m doing okay. Really I am. Thank you for asking. Thank you for caring.
None of us were expecting this, but we’re dealing with it. My father is under Hospice care at the hospital and resting comfortably. Though his breathing was labored and he is non-responsive, he looked at peace this morning and early afternoon.
After getting back from the hospital, I’ve done a little work on Armageddon Unlimited™ today, answered some emails, talked to some friends, and signed a couple hundred books for the 2010 Christmas Surprise Packages. We start packing and shipping them out on Monday, so I need to get the prep work done. There are still more books to sign, but I’ll get to them tomorrow. I don’t feel like I’ve done much today, but the day is going by quickly. I can’t believe its already 7:30 PM. How did it ever get so late?
I was supposed to be at the Alliance Trade Show this weekend, but under the circumstance, Wayne had to handle it solo. I hope it’s going well for him. I felt like I was deserting Wayne, but he said not to worry. Turns out Steve Jackson is at the show and right next to the Palladium booth, so that should further the rumor (and long running joke) that Steve Jackson and Kevin Siembieda are never seen at the same event at the same time because we are the SAME PERSON. Funny.
I’m very much looking forward to this year’s Christmas Grab Bag season. Heck, I hope we see a record number of them. Dad and Mom always made Christmas special when I was a kid, and it has always remained my favorite holiday (with Halloween a close second). With all the sad and stressful things going on this year, I am sooo looking forward to putting together Grab Bags to make people happy and provide hours of fun. I always enjoy doing them, but this year I think I'm looking forward to them more than ever. I feel like they’ll be more fun and important than ever.
I know my Dad would want me to continue to work hard to get Palladium strong again, so that’s what I plan to do. I’m positive about Palladium’s future and I have a million ideas for new books and products. I’ve spoken with Tommy Yune about refocused efforts on the Robotech® RPG line and I’m hopeful about the Rifts® Movie. Every week Dad would ask me how the company was doing, how were sales, how were the guys (listing them by name) and the latest news about the Rifts® movie. I think he was Palladium’s biggest, secret fan.
I can’t let him down. It’s one way I can help celebrate his life and fulfill his hopes for me and Palladium’s future.Gosh, I’m probably rambling a bit, so it's time to sign off. Thanks again for the prayers, well wishes and warm regards. Give a loved one a hug, keep those imaginations burning bright and game on.
Sincerely,
Kevin Siembieda
© Copyright October 9, 2010 Palladium Books Inc. All rights reserved.
Rifts®, The Rifter®, RECON®, Splicers®, Palladium Books®, Phase World®, The Palladium Fantasy Role-Playing Game®, Megaverse®, Nightbane®, The Mechanoids®, The Mechanoid Invasion®, Coalition Wars® and After the Bomb® are Registered Trademarks of Palladium Books Inc. Heroes Unlimited™, Beyond the Supernatural, Dead Reign, Warpath, Shemarrian Nation, and other published book titles, names, slogans and likenesses are trademarks of Palladium Books Inc., and Kevin Siembieda.
Robotech® and Robotech® The Shadow Chronicles® are Registered Trademarks of Harmony Gold USA, Inc.