Welcome to Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:11 pm

This idea started in my head years ago, transferred itself to a different thread (re: Random Magical Items) and has finally found its way here. Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane is an alchemist shop unlike any other. Not only does it stock any standard magic item found in the books, there is a nearly limitless number of items that you won't find anywhere else. Even the Dimensional Market of Splynn doesn't carry most of the items you can find at Uncle Remus' shop. The stuff you can find at this shop can range from the strange but useful to the downright ridiculous (though still useful in its own odd way)
So where can one find this little shop of wonders? That's the beauty of it... you can find it anywhere! Really! Not only is Uncle Remus's Emporium of the Arcane possibly the largest seller of the widest range of magical items ever, it is also the most ubiquitous. Major cities everywhere probably have a tiny little shop tucked away around some darkened corner housing this business. But it goes a little beyond that. Imagine exploring the ancient ruins of an underground Dwarven city and happening across Uncle Remus's shop there. Then, imagine it still being open for business! Running from demons through the streets of Hades? You round a corner and there's a familar sign hanging in the window of a tiny little storefront! Could it be? Yes! It's Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane!!
As for Uncle Remus himself, no one really knows anything beyond his chosen profession. His appearance is (usually) that of a kindly old man with a light spring in his step and a wild gleam of mischief in his bespectacled eyes. His personality is a cross between a sweet and generous old uncle and the slickest used car salesman you ever met with a little bit of insanity thrown in for added spice. One moment he can be helpful and generous, even giving particularly valued customers a generous discount (unheard of among most other alchemists), the next he can be a shrewd and conniving businessman, practically stealing the socks off of a character and somehow getting them to thank him for it. When it comes to business dealings, Uncle remus is always open to negotiation. Cash is always welcome, as is comparable items of trade. What he really likes to deal in, though, is exchange of services. His favorite phrase is "Well, I got this thing I need..." when it comes to negotiation of price. If a character insists on paying cash, he'll grudgingly agree to taking "that boring yellow metal" off their hands. And no one, absolutely NO ONE, steals from Uncle Remus. You have been warned.
With all of this said and done, welcome again to Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane! A magic candy store for the kid in all of us! Comments, questions and suggestions are always welcomed and custom and rush jobs are a specialty! Enjoy your visit!

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 8:19 pm

Hey there! Thanks for coming by the shop. Here's a few things you can find on the shelves;

Cloak of Shadow Meld: Functions as a standard Cloak of Shadows (PFRPG pg 258) with the added bonus of granting the wearer the abilty to Shadow Meld as per the Wizard spell (PFRPG pg 195) This power may be activated up to three times a day for a duration of up to 10 minutes. Cost: 15,000 gold

Stealth Armor: A suit of specially tailored armor, highly popular among thieves, assassins and rangers, usually constructed of chain or double mail, though heavier armor can be made for a higher cost. The armor is enchanted to be noiseless and lightweight as well as a Chameleon enchantment that can be activated up to 3 times a day for 10 melees. Cost: 55,000 gold for Chain or Double Mail, 60,000 for a suit of Scale or Splint, 65,000 for Plate and Chain or Full Plate

Money Changer: An odd device becoming popular with merchants and world travellers, it is a small metal box engraved with strange arcane symbols. It has a few different uses. First, any amount of money or valuables placed in the box, whether gold or silver coins, gems, jewelry or whatever will be transformed into whatever form of valuables the owner desires in equal value. (for example the owner places 250 gold pieces worth of diamonds and silver, and requests it be changed to gold coins, the box will transform them into 250 Gold in gold coins) It can also be used to change the coins' regional origin, like changing Northern gold coins to Eastern. It can change them to Old Kingdom coins as well, but NOT the Old Kingdom Dragon coin. Can only transform a maximum of 5000 gold pieces equivalent per activation. Cost: 2000 gold

Thanks for dropping by. More in the future so check back often. Come back anytime!

MrShowtime · Unread post by **MrShowtime** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:19 pm

I'm looking for a new ring. Anything new and exciting under your counter?

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:58 pm

MrShowtime wrote:I'm looking for a new ring. Anything new and exciting under your counter?

Hmmmmm... Rings... rings , rings, rings...
Ah, here we go... First and foremost I'd like to refer you to a nice little beauty in the other thread (re: Random Magical Items) called the Ring of Transportation Summoning. A rather interesting thing, inspired by a very popular book that was later made a movie (25% discount from the price for ya if you can guess the title :-D

)
Aside from that, here's a few little gems for you to peruse;

Assassin's Ring: As it's name suggests, a popular item among Assassins as well as Thieves, Spies, Mages and anyone wishing to travel incognito. It is closely related to Transfomable weapons but rather than being a relatively large item transforming into a weapon, it is a simple ring transforming into a knife or spike weapon. As a ring it appears to be a simple gold band, sometimes even decorated with intricate engravings or even set with a small stone or two. Activation takes little more than a thought, causing the ring to stretch and sharpen to a roughly knife-like blade shape of a striaght stabbing spike. Damage from this weapon is only 1d6, but it can be further boosted with other weapon enchantments, except for the Flaming Weapon option, at additional cost. The ring will remain in weapon form until deactivated by the wielder or, if the wielder is rendered unconcious it will automatically revert to ring form. Base cost for the ring: 5000 gold

Shield Ring: I nice piece of protective handywork, highly favored by anyone that wants to carry a shield without the added weight of one. The Shield Ring simply produces and energy shield similar to a Psionic Psi Shield and may be activated up to 6 times per day for 20 melees per activation. At the cost of three charges/activations the ring can also produce a domed Force Field around the wearer with a maximum 10 foot diameter. SDC of the Force Field is 150 with a duration of up to 10 minutes. Cost: 2500 gold

Ring of Light: A simple silver ring crowned with a clear faceted crystal, this item is essentially a miniature Crystal of Light (PFRPG pg 256) set onto a ring. However, the light emited by this crystal is much brighter than a Crystal of Light, enough to illuminate about a 15 foot wide circle. It also has an added benefit of directing a beam of light in whatever direction the wearer desires. The intensity of the light beam is actually quite bright, enough to light up a roughly 5 foot wide circle at a range of up to 50 feet away. It can also be used to temporarily blind opponents. Attacker rolls to Strike with the light beam using only PP bonuses to Strike. Defenders may Parry or Dodge, but either act will cause the loss of an attack (having to cover ones eyes with their hands). Failure will cause temporary Blindness with a -5 to Strike Parry and Dodge for 1d4 rounds. Cost: 6000 gold; unlike the Crystal of Light, the ring does NOT burn out.

Hope these help you a bit. If not, give me a few more details about what you're looking for. I'm sure I can find something for you.

Thanks for stopping in. Please come again soon!

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:42 am

Overkill wrote:Small party of three ragged adventures walk in wide eyed. A female warrior elf in once gleaming armor removes her dented winged helm and stares in bafflement. A dim eyed orc holding a torch begins licking the walls and a tall, lanky human man in dark red robes approaches the old fellow. "Uhh, not sure why you have a shop here, but got anything that'll help us get out of this maze good sir?"

Help you out of this maze? How about a map of it? Oh... wait... sorry out of stock... hang on a sec....
Aha!! here's a couple things that might help;

A Door!: Just place against a wall and knock! Seriously! Open the door and walk through to the other side of the wall. This particularly strange item will open a door sized hole through a wall up to 2 feet thick! Any thicker than that and the door automatically opens to a shallow broom closet. It is still the size of a normal door so it can be a little cumbersome, but its awkward size at least helps drive the price down.

Cost: 500 gold

Portable Hole: Similar to A Door above, but with 2 big advantages; 1> It can open holes in walls up to 5 feet thick, rather than the relatively limited 2 feet of A Door. It can also open pits in the ground up to 10 feet deep. (The hole itself is about 8 feet across) 2> It can be folded like a piece of cloth, making it a lot less cumbersome. Even comes with a special carrying case to keep it from openning a hole in whatever container you carry it in. Like the Pit Cloak it resembles, if something is in a hole it creates it cannot be picked up until the object/person is removed. Cost: 25,000 gold

Directional Indicator Device: A small compass like device with no traditional direction indications (ie north, south, east, west) but still has a free spinning arrow. Upon invoking the command word "acba" the owner/user states the direction he wishes to go (ie north, south, etc.) or indicates what he's looking for, giving a rough idea of how close or far and maybe a direction (ie "Find me the closest set of stairs to the north of my location" or "Where is the nearest exit?") Be cautioned on being too general in what your looking for. In the first example the arrow will point straight toward the nearest set of stairs, whether they lead up or down, that is in a general northerly direction. In the second example the arrow will most likely point to the nearest door, probably the one the character came in through. Also be warned that the device will point straight to whatever it is you're looking for, regardless of obstacles. With a little care and extra attention, the goal can be found. Cost: 10,000 gold

Mystic Maps: An offshoot of the Magic Maps in a different thread (re: Random Magical Items) These appear as blank pieces of parchment until they are smudged with a bit of dirt from your location and the command words "Icki Bolana Wassa Maatu Wittu" (language unknown but if translated by anything that magically speaks all languages or a Voice Box (see previously mentioned alternate thread) it means "Where the heck am I?") This causes a map of the immediate area around the invoker to appear on the map. One must note that immediate area is a pretty flexible term and depends entirely on the type of map bought. There are three kinds. The first one is the smallest as a 1 foot square of parchment. It will reveal the surrounding 1 mile radius area. Next up is the medium, measuring in as an 18 inch square. It reveals the surrounding 2 mile radius. Finally, the large measuring as a 24 inch by 18 inch rectangle, shows the surrounding 4 mile radius. The maps will reveal landmarks, cities, towns, villages, roads, rivers, trails, etc. It will NOT reveal the locations of people, monsters, treasures and so on. The map may aslo be reset by rubbing more dirt into the parchment and speaking the command words again, however each additional use beyond the third gives a cumulative 10% chance of a flawed and entirely inaccurate map (the parchment can only take so much dirt getting rubbed into it before it starts crossing the maps over each other) If used indoors or underground, the map will lay out whatever floor plans there are within its radius of effect for the particular floor/level the character is standing on. A different floor means a different map.
Cost: Small: 800 gold, Medium: 1,500 gold, Large: 2,000 gold

The kindly old man offers these items to you with a smile, flashing the female elf the most charming of winks and handing the lanky man in red a towel as he leans in close to his ear, nodding toward the orc. "Either you or he is gonna have to clean that up ya know... and by the way..." he looks around conspiritorily a moment before leaning back in and tilting his head toward the elf, his voice a barely audible whisper "... Is she single?"

Thank you for coming! I hope these help. Come back anytime!

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 10:21 am

Hello folks! Just a simple quick reference post of items you'll find in my shop that were posted in the alternate thread. Descriptions of each item can be found in said thread. I'm just listing the items and their prices.

Smelling Stones; Cost: 250-1500 gold
Magic Horse Brushes; Cost: 300 gold (450 for self cleaning)
Shade Torches; Regular: 150, Heavy: 250, Extreme: 400 gold
Magic Tobacco; Talespinner's Blend: 100-300 gold/oz, Vile Chaw: 250-500 gold/oz
Healing Armor: 50,000 gold
Voice Box: 5000 gold
Mystic Map (world): 1000 gold
Gloves of Adhesion: 20,000 gold
Venom Blade (weapon enchantment): Non-Lethal Poison(2d6 dmg): 50,000 gold, Lethal Poison (4d6 dmg): 60,000 gold, Sleep or Paralysis: 40,000 gold
Ring of Transportation Summoning: 50,000 gold
Spidey Suit: 150,000 gold
Elemental Gauntlets: 50,000 gold each
Friendship Bracelets: 1000 gold each (Must buy a minimum of a pair for them to work)
Whoop-Ass: Red: 1000 gold, Orange: 1200 gold, Yellow: 1200 gold, Green: 700 gold, Blue: 700 gold, Black: 1000 gold, Gold: 1500 gold

pblackcrow · Unread post by **pblackcrow** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:43 pm

Awesome!!! We may use it.

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Mon Nov 15, 2010 4:48 pm

pblackcrow wrote:Awesome!!! We may use it.

Another satisfied customer!

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:02 am

Hey kids! Uncle Remus here with great news! The latest shipment has come in. Check it out!

Whoop-Ass; You all remember the Cans of Whoop-Ass, right? Well here's a few new ones that'll really, well... Whoop-Ass!
Silver: When dumped on the ground this silvery liquid pools like mercury rather than splashing around, coalescing into a roughly humanoid shape, slowly taking on finer and finer details until, at the end of 1 melee round the thing looks like an exact copy of the thrower. It then opens its eyes to turn and look at the thrower, saying "Get... out" before turning back and attacking, its hands and arms lengthening and sharpening into sword-like appendages as it goes. The thing has an AR of 16, 200 SDC and regenerates from damage at a rate of 1d6x10 SDC per melee. It has 4 attacks, +4 to strike, +7 to parry/dodge and +10 damage. Attacks are made with the appendages in sword or spike form, doing anywhere from 1d6 (dagger hand or short sword hand and partial forearm) to 4d6 damage (polearm type weapon using both hands and arms or a very large sword) per attack, depending on exactly what kind of shape it uses. It is impervious to nearly all forms of magic and psionics. The only magic or psionic attacks that work are the ones that do real physical damage (ie Fireball, Psi-Sword, TK Punch, Call Lightning, etc) Also impervious to poisons, gases, and fumes. It feels no pain. It feels no fear. And it absolutely will not stop. At least not until it's destroyed or the duration of 10 melees runs out. Then it just melts away to nothing. Anyone watching it melt away will see it give a thumb's up as the last of its body vanishes. Cost: 1500 gold
Grey: Causes the ground to heave and churn, exploding upward with a lesser Earth Elemental under the command of the user. It will remain on this plane for 10 minutes. Cost: 1000 gold
Brown: Turns all opponent weapons into snakes, as per the Swords to Snakes wizard spell (PFRPG pg 208). The only difference is these snakes are tougher (AR 10 HP 35), hurt more (3 attacks/melee doing 1d8 dmg), and they're poisonous (Save vs non-lethal poison or take an additional 2d6 poison damage). And I do mean ALL opponent weapons are transformed, even the ones that are still sheathed/not being used. Transformation lasts for 10 melees. Cost: 1200 gold
Pink: A squad of, ahem... shall we say "attractive"... young girls wearing tight sweaters, short skirts and athletic shoes holding pom-poms come out to cheer for the user and his party. Any males among the opponenets must save vs magic at -5 or suffer the effects of Mesmerism (PFRPG pg 222) for the duration the girls are cheering. Females of any race also save, but with no penalty. If they fail to save, they will join the girls in the cheering. Duration is 10 melees. Cost: 1000 gold

Magic Tobacco; Here's a new blend for you to try.
Changeling Chew: Actually several different blends in this category, one for each different transformation. The duration of the transformations is limited only by how long the user decides to keep the stuff in his mouth. A specific person of the chosen race cannot be imitated, but with the judicious use of the disguise and/or impersonation skill a specific subject could be impersonated with a +10% bonus to the skill. Otherwise this stuff adds a +15% bonus to Disguise skill or Impersonation skill of a general class. These are just a few of the blends available;
Elven Snuff: A lightly perfumed chewing tobacco with an earthy taste of wildflowers and honey.
Dwarven Chaw: Heavy and musky, with a distinctly sharp taste reminiscent of the best Ales.
Gnome Chew: Similar to Dwarven Chaw, but not as heavy. Also has a sweeter taste to it, like Mead.
Orc Plug: Smells almost rotten and tastes bitter, like pure black licorice.
Goblin Weed: Smells worse than Orc Plug. Tastes roughly equivalent to swamp water.
Troll Fine Cut: Specifically cut this way so a Human sized person could use it. It smells like armpit and tastes like week old gym sock.
Troll Regular Cut: Identical to Fine Cut in every way, just in thicker strips that almost resemble strips of tree bark.
Wolfen Blend: A not unpleasant earthy scent, like the air in deep forest right after a heavy rain. Tastes a little bitter though.
Cost: 2000 gold per ounce, a minimum of one ounce being needed to get a complete transformation. One full melee round is needed for a full transformation. Duration of the metamorphosis is as long as the user keeps the stuff in his mouth. CAUTION: If this stuff is EVER swallowed, the metamorphosis becomes PERMANENT!!!.

Magic Mirror: A handy little device for those troublesome mages that keep popping into your life. This handy little charm looks like a 2 inch long hand mirror worn as a pendant on a chain. Any kind of directed energy cast toward the wearer (ie Call Lightning, Fireball, Paralysis Bolt, etc.) is reflected away from him. There's even a 50% chance it is reflected directly back at the caster, doing full regular damage to them instead. This charm is ineffective against any other form of magic or psionic attack, but will work against a Basilisk's Gaze (eye beams) Cost: 30,000 gold

Thanks for dropping by! Come again soon!

MrShowtime · Unread post by **MrShowtime** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:42 pm

A dwarf, short and rather stocky (even by dwarf standards) strolls in, large dual bladed axe on his back. His loud voice starts up "I'm in need of an extra line of defense during this rather long journey. I shall be needed some of your cans of silver Whoop-Ass!" He sighs with an embarrassed look on his now reddened face, "...And a pink as well, please Sir."

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:29 pm

MrShowtime wrote:A dwarf, short and rather stocky (even by dwarf standards) strolls in, large dual bladed axe on his back. His loud voice starts up "I'm in need of an extra line of defense during this rather long journey. I shall be needed some of your cans of silver Whoop-Ass!" He sighs with an embarrassed look on his now reddened face, "...And a pink as well, please Sir."

The old man looks at the dwarf with a broad grin and places the requested items on the counter with a sly wink. "Absolutely my good man. There's 3 silvers and a pink can of genuine Whoop-Ass. And might I recommend one of these as well...

Mystic Sharpening Stone: When used to sharpen any bladed weapon (including magic weapons) it temporarily inbues the blade with an extraordinary sharpness, granting it a bonus of +3 to damage for 24 hours. Whether the weapon is used or not, this bonus vanishes at the end of the duration. The stone is good for 12 sharpenings before crumbling to dust. Cost: 3000 gold

.... or maybe....

Sling Blades: Mystic Knives, Daggers or Throwing Axes enchanted to be thrown farther and more accurately then their normal counterparts. Triple normal throwing range and add a +3 to Strike when Thrown ONLY. Sold singly, or at a slight discount for a set of 3. They may also be further enchanted to return when thrown at normal cost for the enchantment. Cost: 10,000 each or a set of 3 for 25,000 gold

... and of course...

BOOM-erang: Simply a boomerang that explodes when it hits its target. If the thrower misses, the weapon returns though this is not a magical effect. And he'd better catch it or it will explode when it hits him! Catching the returning weapon requires a Parry roll higher than the thrower's original Strike roll -3. Damage from the explosion is a devastating 1d6x10 and affects a 5 foot radius area. Cost: 50,000 gold (Note: The explosion does NOT detroy the BOOM-erang.)

Good luck on your journeys, sir! Thanks for coming by and come see us again!

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 5:23 am

Hey everybody! Uncle Remus here with something extra special for you. I've had this stashed away on the back shelves for a long time now and I figure it's time I share this little secret with all of you. Come over here... closer... closer... check this out...

Pinnogard: A tall leafy plant closely resembling mint with a broader gold colored leaf and sparsely shot through with tiny white flowers, this plant has an origin clouded in mystery, its true origins and cultivation techniques known only to one man... yours truly, dear old Uncle Remus. It is, without a doubt, the rarest and most expensive drug available in the world. The secrets ofthis plant are so closely guarded that I personally oversee the harvesting of every single plant, making doubly sure that ALL seeds are extracted from the plant and NEVER sold to anyone under any circumstances. This plant may be used in a fresh picked state, or dried like an ordinary herb without the loss of any potency whatsoever. When dried, however, the scent of the plant becomes a bit more pronounced, smelling something like a cross between a light mint and a fuller sweet, flowery scent, with hints of an underlying musk.
The Use for this plant is both singular and spectacular; It's Dragon Nip... Catnip... for Dragons! They go nuts for this stuff! Dragons find the scent alone intoxicating to the point of distraction. If confronted with this stuff, a Dragon must save vs. Harmful Drugs at -10! Failure means the dragon loses Initiative (if he ever had it), all but 1 attack/action/melee, suffers a -10 to Strike, Parry/Dodge and Roll, sees skill performance reduced by 80% and loses all ability to cast spells or use any of his natural/magical abilities (can't focus well enough, too distracted by the Dragon Nip). Basically all the dragon does is indulge in the essence of the Dragon Nip, maybe defending himself if he's attacked. Even if the save is made the creature is still awfully distracted, suffering a -6 to initiative, attacks reduced by half and the above penalties at half as well (-5 instead of -10 and -40% instead of -80%) but no loss of magical/natural spell casting abilities.
Now the bad news. The effects last for as long as the supply lasts. A dragon is a pretty big creature, so a single ounce of this stuff will NOT go very far, lasting about 2 melee rounds on an average adult dragon. (3 or 4 for most hatchlings, 1 for ancients. Some ancient dragons are so old it may have no effect at all without a very significant amount, like a pound or so) And if a humanoid confronts a Dragon with this stuff be VERY CAREFUL! Dragons aren't ones to show weakness and this stuff is one of their greatest. Once the dragon recovers from his euphoria, he's as likely to kill you as ask if you have any more. Use with EXTREME CAUTION!! Cost: 20,000+ gold per ounce.

More to come in the near future. Thanks for coming by! Come back soon!

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:39 pm

Hello, and welcome back! I just got done stocking the shelves again. Here's a few of the items available today;

Bottomless Feedbag: A handy device that saves a lot of money on feeding horses. Technically however, the feedbag is NOT bottomless. The user simply drops a handful of a chosen feed into the bag (generally about 6 ounces). This handful is then consistently replicated in the bag as the horse eats it for a full 24 hours. At the end of that time, another handful of feed must be put in the bag. If the bag is ever removed and dumped out, just a handful of feed comes out of it. Of course if the bag is dumped out, it will need to have feed placed in it again for it to work. Cost: 1000 gold

Shield Bracer: A standard metal or leather forearm bracer that functions exactly like a Shield Ring, mentioned in a previous post, but with an added feature of a larger Force Field Dome covering a 20 foot diameter with a dome of 250 SDC for a duration of 10 minutes. Cost: 5000 gold

Invisible Bags: A handy little item for Thieves and smugglers, these bags operate similar to Enchanted Bags (PFRPG pg 258) in being able to hold more than they appear to be able to, but with an added feature. Uttering the command word "noseeyum" causes the bag, and its contents, to turn invisible for 10 minutes. Perfect for smuggling items into or out of high security areas. Note that items placed in the bag will still make noise if shaken/rattled around too much. Available ONLY in the Small and Medium Enchanted Bag sizes. (Large Invisible Bags just aren't cost effective) Cost: Small pouch, purse or bag; 5 lb capacity: 45,000 gold Medium handbag, satchel or bag; 15 lb capacity: 50,000 gold

Horseshoes of Thunderous Attack: A set of 4 horseshoes that, once attached to the hooves, give the horses Kick Attacks the equivalent of a Thunder Hammer strike as per the weapon enchantment of the same name (PFRPG pg 250), adding 2d6 damage to the horse's kick and setting of a booming clap of thunder when it strikes. There is a slight drawback; if these shoes are put on a horse not specifically trained for combat (ie a War Horse), there is a 30% chance the poor animal will be spooked by the sudden eruption of thunder when it kicks, causing it to immediately bolt off, possibly losing its rider. (roll under appropriate Horsemanship skill percentile) If the rider stays on, he can stop the beast after 1d4 melees of high speed flight. Riders roll twice per round to stay on the terrified beast. If the rider falls off, the animal will run straight on for 1d6+4 minutes, stopping only if it comes to an obstacle it cannot pass, such as a wide river or gorge, a high wall etc.

Thanks for coming by! Come again soon!

TheGameMaster · Fri Nov 19, 2010 11:19 pm

A human Bounty Hunter comes in with no weapons and missing a tooth. He says "What do you have for an adventuring Bounty Hunter? I lost all my weapons in my last quest, so something along those lines might help (I prefer swords), but I'm interested in anything else you have...Money is not an Object, but I do have this Coupon

"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Sat Nov 20, 2010 1:51 am

TheGameMaster wrote:A human Bounty Hunter comes in with no weapons and missing a tooth. He says "What do you have for an adventuring Bounty Hunter? I lost all my weapons in my last quest, so something along those lines might help (I prefer swords), but I'm interested in anything else you have...Money is not an Object, but I do have this Coupon "

The old man looks the Bounty Hunter over with a discerning eye, leaning to the side and talking to either himself or an unseen companion, slowly circling him as he does. With a satisfied nod he heads behind the counter and starts tossing items around, some flying across the room, some landing on the counter, others just kind of lazilly floating through the air. "I think I may have a few items of use for you... Not all of them are going to be weapons, but if you don't want those just move along to the next item... here's what I can come up with for you..."

Bola-cuffs: Literally a set of medium weight Shackles, specially weighted and enchanted to be thrown at a fleeing target. Sure, a standard Bola can take down a fleeing target too, but these actually shackle the target rather than just tangling him up so that you don't have to run up and shackle them yourself. (Saves a bit of time and keeps them from trying to untangle themselves if it takes a bit of time for you to go after them, like if the target's buddies are attacking you to give him a chance at getting away). The shackles themselves have NO LOCK (Magically held closed so they can't be picked) and will open only if the proper command word is spoken. The command word is set by the owner by rubbing a drop of his own blood into the shackles as he speaks the command word of choice 3 times. (the comand word need only be spoken once to open them) As these are Magic Restraints, the Escape spell is useless against them. Cost: 15,000 gold per set Special Note: Use WP Targeting/Thrown Weapons, they inflict no damage in and of themselves, though targets may take a bit of damage from the fall

Angler's Crossbow: Appears as a normal heavy crossbow with an extra thick strap at the front for the wielder's wrist/forearm to fit through as he shoots. On command, a bolt fired from this weapon leaves behind a thin trail of red light, connecting the bolt to the crossbow. When it hits, the head of it expands into a small claw which tightly grips whatever it is embedded in with an equivalent PS of 40. The crossbow may then be mentally commanded to "reel in" the target, the beam of red light shrinking as it drags the victim closer. Speed of the retrieval varies widely according to the weight/mass of the target, with a maximum speed of about 40 feet per melee round for targets weighing less than to just under the weight of the firer. Significantly heavier targets (double or more the character's weight) or targets that are braced or otherwise immobile will see the archer being dragged toward them. This little quirk can be fully exploited for being able to climb walls or get pulled up to a ceiling (Thieves and Spies in particular LOVE this weapon) Attempting to break the cord is possible (it is AR: 14 with 25 SDC) as is ripping the bolt out of the target (this option does an additional 2d6 damage to the victim) The crossbow may be activated up to 4 times per 24 hour period. Cost: 10,000 gold, Uses WP: Archery

Rope of the Python: Looks, feels and acts like regular rope. It's power is activated when it is used to bind someone. The more the victim struggles against the bonds made with this rope, the tighter it gets. This equates to an immediate -25% penalty to Escape Artist skill rolls that increase by an additional -5% per attempt at using this skill. Particularly stubborn people will start to take damage from the rope getting so tight if they continue to struggle (1d6 damage from the third attempt at escaping followed by an additional 1d6 per each additional attempt afterward, ie 2d6 on the 4th attempt, 3d6 on the 5th etc.) Good characters will usually warn their victims of the rope's powers after trussing them up. Evil... maybe. This rope may be made into a lasso that can be thrown around a victim and get the same results ( a lasso is basically a special kind of slip knot) The rope itself is rather tough with an AR of 12 and requiring 15 SDC damage to cut at any particular point. Cost: 100 gold per foot, Special Note: This item may also be further enchanted with the same additional abilities listed with Cherubot Rope (ie Impervious to Fire and/or Normal Weapons, PFRPG pg 257) at the same additional cost.

Stunstriker: A special weapon enchantment, tailored specifically for Bounty Hunter weapons. The weapon, regardless of type, increases the character's KO/Stun roll by +4 with this weapon ONLY (for example a required 17 or better becomes a 13 or better with this weapon) with the result ALWAYS being a Knock-Out on a successful strike. Victims are rendered unconcious for 1d6 melees. The only catch is that the weapon only does half damage in combat (PS and HtH damage bonuses are unaffected) and cannot have any other offensive enchantments placed on it. (can still be enchanted to be Indestructible or make its wielder Fire Resistant, but not a Flaming Weapon, Eternally Sharp or even have the ability to Spit Fire or Lightning) Cost: 30,000 gold

Might I also reccomend the Spidey Suit mentioned in a previous post (actually described in the Random Magical Item thread), and if you're interested, I can give you a little something special for that missing tooth of yours :twisted:

Poison Gas Tooth: A false tooth implanted in place of a real one, usually close to the front of the mouth. Activated by biting down on the tooth and giving a hard exhale, the user can breathe out a small cloud of poison gas from the tooth. The type of poison gas is decided by the user at the time of purchase and the tooth may be enchanted with up to 3 different types. The available effects are identical to the list of effects found under Natural Herbal Potions, Powders & Drugs (PFRPG pg 267) The only differences are the effects are immediate rather than taking 2d4 melees to take effect and actual damaging Poison is included requiring the same save as the rest (14 or better) or taking 5d6 damage. Range for this attack is horribly limited to about 3 feet, but can affect up to 2 people if their satnding close together. The tooth may be activated up to 3 times per 24 hours. Cost: The tooth itself costs between 50-200 gold (Special gold or silver teeth or teeth made from some other substance like gems, etc, tend to cost more) Each enchantment/effect costs 2500 gold.

"Hope this helps. If you've got any other requests let me know." He takes a look at the coupon and chuckles. "And any one of these items will be half price with that."

Thank you for coming! Come back again soon!

TheGameMaster · Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:59 am

I'll take the cuffs, the crossbow, the Rope, and a silver tooth its (its a canine). What do you have as far as Swords and Spears?

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Sun Nov 21, 2010 6:53 pm

TheGameMaster wrote:I'll take the cuffs, the crossbow, the Rope, and a silver tooth its (its a canine). What do you have as far as Swords and Spears?

The old man arches a brow with a rather inquisitive look before slowly nodding, a hand coming up to gently rub at the stubble on his chin. " Not exactly a 'bring 'em in alive' type are ya? Alright then, I can appreciate that... let's see what I have here then..."

*Wayfinder*: This little beauty was inspired by a book I read once. It's an exquisite longsword of unknown craftsmanship, though it is rumored that it was forged by some ancient and forgotten god. The blade is forged from an alien metal alloy of silvery-grey color with a darker grey mottling that seems to go several inches deep into the blade, even though the blade itself is only about a centimeter thick. The hilt is a simple metal rod, wrapped in dark leather and bound with double twisted wire. The pommel is a brushed steel "mushroom" style cap and the crosspiece is a simple bar with a slight upward curve at the ends. The center of the crosspiece bears a small symbol of an arrow pointing toward the blade. The sword possesses multiple powers but it also seems to possess a rather unique curse;
First: The sword seems to have a strange effect on the passage of time during a journey to the point that the normal travel time over great distances (ie 100+ miles) is cut in half. Over shorter journeys, Wayfinder has no appreciable affect.
Second: Wayfinder's greatest power; the ability to point out the direction of anyone or anything the character seeks. Similar to the Directional Indicator Device (see a few posts up) only this power is a bit more refined. As long as the wielder points the sword out in front of him, it will guide him to anything he wants to find as long as it is in the same plane of existance. Such things can be places, items, treasures, people, creatures... whatever. (At one point this sword was used to put together an adventuring party for a particularly difficult dungeon. Wayfinder was the deciding factor in who all went on the adventure by the wielder asking "Who is best suited for this adventure?". The sword proceeded to point out 7 adventurers who were immediately hired. The party suffered minor casualties with the death of one of the members, but was otherwise a rousing success. The one that died did so saving the party leader's life, so even he was chosen for a purpose)
As a weapon, Wayfinder does 2d6 damage and is +2 to Strike and Parry (quality bonuses, not magical)
Wayfinder's Curse: Any journey/quest taken up by the wielder of this sword will be more dangerous with hostile encounters being more numerous and/or dangerous. Wher the wielder might normally encounter a lone highwayman trying to rob him, he now faces a group of1d6+3 bandits instead, for example. GM's use your own discretion on exactly how this curse manifests itself. Cost: 250,000 gold
(Note: While this sword is unique, there are rumors of another 11 swords of similar appearance to this one, each with their own amazing and dangerous abilities. Stay tuned for more from this set to appear. Also I have a 75% off coupon to ANYONE that can name the book this came from; title and author required

)

The Devil's Fish Hook: Actually a spear, this weapon is defined as a harpoon with a ring attached just under a wickedly barbed head for tying a rope to it. It may be used in standard melee combat as a spear doing 1d10 damage, or it may be thrown up to 150 ft at a target with a successful strike doing 2d6 damage and making the victim save vs. Magic at -3 or suffer the effects of an Agony spell (PFRPG pg 200) Victims foolish enough to pull the harpoon out after it strikes take an additional 2d6 damage and see the effects and duration of the Agony effects doubled (NO save) Particularly cruel/evil hunters like to attach a rope to the harpoon through the provided loop near the head so they can jerk the harpoon out themselves after it hits, inducing the Agony effect themselves. Cost: 25,000 gold

The Paralyzer: An ordinary looking weapon, usually a club or other blunt weapon, but can be any kind, that on command becomes surrounded with a field of crackling electrical energy. When so energized, all strikes from the weapon do an additional 1d6 damage and have a cumulative 15% chance of paralyzing the target per successful hit. Targets wearing metal armor take an additional 2d6 damage and see the percentage chance of paralysis increase to a cumulative 25% per strike. The enchantment may be activated up to 4 times per day for a duration of 5 melees. Cost: 20,000 gold to place this enchantment on a blunt weapon, ball and chain or staff. 30,000 to place on any bladed weapon, including swords, axes, knives, spears and polearms. This enchantment can also be placed on arrows and crossbow bolts, but is rather cost restrictive at 10,000 per each arrow.

"Anything else I might could interest you in? I still got a few cans of Pink Whoop-Ass left... that stuff goes pretty fast you know." The old man grins with a sly wink, gently nudging the man's ribs with a rather bony elbow.
Thanks for stopping by! Come back again soon!

TheGameMaster · Tue Nov 23, 2010 1:23 am

JuliusCreed wrote:
TheGameMaster wrote:I'll take the cuffs, the crossbow, the Rope, and a silver tooth its (its a canine). What do you have as far as Swords and Spears?

The old man arches a brow with a rather inquisitive look before slowly nodding, a hand coming up to gently rub at the stubble on his chin. " Not exactly a 'bring 'em in alive' type are ya? Alright then, I can appreciate that... let's see what I have here then..."

I have alot of time when it is to the death combat, havent gotten that many bounty hunting jobs yet, when I do get them I try to wound or use a bear hug to subdue them... I'll take them all!

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:17 am

Welocme back! Glad you could stop by! Business has been a little slow today so I thought I'd clean the place up a little. It's amazing what you can find when you clean a place out after a couple centuries, you know? Like these, for instance;

Transport Boxes: These small metal boxes are only sold in pairs. They measure about 1 foot high and deep and 2 feet long. Other than some strange arcane symbols engraved in the boxes, they are unadorned. When an item is placed in the box and the command word spoken, the item is instantly transported to the other box. Any item to be transported by one of these boxes must fit entirely into the box. If it cannot close completely, the transport doesn't happen. There is also a 5% chance per activation that the box actually malfunctions, sending the item 1d10x100 miles in a random direction, so be careful that what you send isn't too terribly valuable. The Wolfen Military makes extensive use of these items for sending important messages back and forth, which can be done in duplicates to ensure receipt in case of the rare malfunction. Cost: 10,000 for a pair

Cat Boots: An item favored by Thieves and Spies, Cat Boots muffle the sound of the wearer's footsteps as he walks, adding a +15% bonus to his Prowl skill. On command they will also sprout small claws from the toes to add a +10% bonus to the Climb skill as well as an extra 1d6 damage to all kicks the user can perform. Cost: 35,000 gold

Cat Gloves: Mostly considered a cheaper version of Gryphon Claw Gloves by critics, these gloves also sprout claws from the fingertips, though they are significantly smaller, doing only 1d8 damage with a successful strike. However, they ARE better suited for assisting in Climbing, adding a +15% bonus to the skill. They CANNOT be used to parry. (too small) Cost: 25,000 gold

Steel Wool: Looks and feels like a normal suit of cloth or quilted armor of a strange patchwork design. Wearer's will find it to be highly resistant to damage with an AR of 15! However, the SDC of the Armor is horribly limited to just 50. This armor was originally designed as a deterrent armor for Spies in case they got caught and attacked, giving them high mobility combined with improved armor coverage. It is not meant for extended battles however. Just enough to give them a chance to get away. Cost: 20,000 gold plus additional SDC can be added at a cost of 10,000 per 50 SDC to a maximum of 100 extra SDC

Malfunctioning Magic Items (aka Uncle Remus's Bargain Bin)
These particular magic items are useful... usually... they have a tendency to not work quite the way they're supposed to from time to time. But, for the price, they just can't be beat!

Quill of Trans-Literacy: Works just like the standard Quill of Literacy, writing up to 25 spoken words per 8 hours. Problem, is the words will be written in 1d4 different languages (ie the first 4 or 5 in Elven, the next 3 or 4 in Western, the next one in Gobbely, and all the rest in Dwarf. Or whatever other combination the GM can imagine) Cost: 5,000 (still a little expensive because even these need to be made from a Cockatrice feather)

Whimper Bottles: They look like Screech Bottles, but when uncorked or smashed, they release the sound of several whimpering puppies. <shrug> Maybe you can figure out what to do with these things. Cost: 50 gold

Tome of Amnesia: Functions like a Tome of Images and is (fortunately) even more rare. Images are placed on the pages in the same manner as a standard Tome. However, once the book is closed or the page is turned, there is a 50% chance that this book will "forget" the image that was placed on it, thus rendering that page blank again! Cost: up to 1 million gold (it IS still a Rune Book people... :wink:

) but rarely sells for more than a million if it's discovered as a forgettful book

Beheading Cloak: Not literally! This is a Cloak of Invisibility without a hood. So, when it's worn the wearer's head can still be clearly seen. The cloak may be pulled up over the head to cover it, but this will leave the wearer's feet visible instead. Other than that, identical to a Cloak of Invisibility (PFRPG pg. 258) Cost: 20,000

Leather of Tin: A suit of Soft, Hard or Studded Leather with an AR of 14 and 45 SDC. Cost: 15,000 plus additional SDC can be added at the same rates and limitations as Leather of Iron

The old man coughs a bit at the dust swirling through the air, waving his way through a cloud of it. "Like I said, sorry about the mess. maybe I ought to just let things lie where they will sometimes. Anyway, Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:21 am

TheGameMaster wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
TheGameMaster wrote:I'll take the cuffs, the crossbow, the Rope, and a silver tooth its (its a canine). What do you have as far as Swords and Spears?

The old man arches a brow with a rather inquisitive look before slowly nodding, a hand coming up to gently rub at the stubble on his chin. " Not exactly a 'bring 'em in alive' type are ya? Alright then, I can appreciate that... let's see what I have here then..."

I have alot of time when it is to the death combat, havent gotten that many bounty hunting jobs yet, when I do get them I try to wound or use a bear hug to subdue them... I'll take them all!

The old man nods and wraps them up for you all nice and neat before taking your moneywith a grin and even throwing in a bonus Can of Whoop-Ass for being such a good customer. And yep, you guessed it... it's a Pink one! Score!
Good luck on your journeys! May these serve you well!

t0m · Unread post by **t0m** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:39 am

*a young man walks in wearing the skeletal remains of a horned humanoids face as a mask under his hooded cloak*

"hello? anyone here? i didnt know there was a magic shop here...i have lived in credia all my life. interesting..."

*looks around aimlessly*

"these transport boxes look handy...do you take trades? also, do you sell random/unmarked potions? preferably in 6 packs?"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:08 am

t0m wrote:*a young man walks in wearing the skeletal remains of a horned humanoids face as a mask under his hooded cloak*

"hello? anyone here? i didnt know there was a magic shop here...i have lived in credia all my life. interesting..."

*looks around aimlessly*

"these transport boxes look handy...do you take trades? also, do you sell random/unmarked potions? preferably in 6 packs?"

The old man looks at you curiously, a bushy brow arching a moment as a slow grin creeps across his face "Wow. You sound almost as adventurous as I used to be when I was that age. As a matter of fact, yes I do have several 6, 12 and 24 packs of random unmarked potions, but I'm going to need to see some form of Identification papers and cash up front for them only." He walks back behind his counter, apparently to fetch the requested items, before speaking again. "As for taking trades... well, I do have this thing I need..... :twisted:

"

Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

t0m · Unread post by **t0m** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:51 am

*the young man digs around in his pack and produces a brand new looking set of timiro/credia identification papers, which indicate he is 21 years old*

"how much for a dozen?" as he empties out a small sack of mixed coins and gems on the counter and starts trying to separate all the timiro sovereigns from the assorted currencies.

"and what is this 'thing' you are looking for. sounds a little...sketchy..." you cant see his face but you know he is smiling ear to ear...

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 4:10 am

t0m wrote:*the young man digs around in his pack and produces a brand new looking set of timiro/credia identification papers, which indicate he is 21 years old*

"how much for a dozen?" as he empties out a small sack of mixed coins and gems on the counter and starts trying to separate all the timiro sovereigns from the assorted currencies.

"and what is this 'thing' you are looking for. sounds a little...sketchy..." you cant see his face but you know he is smiling ear to ear...

The old man eyes the papers a moment, his brow arching dubiously until he hears the sound of gold and gems clattering across the counter. With barely a glance he sweeps it all away into a cash box saying "That should just about cover it". He then leans back over the counter with a sly grin. "This thing I need... ya see there's this hot looking elf warrior chick... came in here a few posts back with an orc and some guy in red robes. What I need is her name, address, and a list of turn-ons..."

t0m · Unread post by **t0m** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:04 am

"ill be back shortly..."

TheGameMaster · Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:12 pm

Thank you, I have a friend I'll send here, he's an Undead hunter and has been looking for some barding for his war horse maybe you can whip some stuff up for him.

JuliusCreed wrote:Whimper Bottles: They look like Screech Bottles, but when uncorked or smashed, they release the sound of several whimpering puppies. <shrug> Maybe you can figure out what to do with these things. Cost: 50 gold

Could be great way to prank your Beastmaster

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:18 am

BARQ wrote:His brows knit in concentration, tears escape down his dried, leathery cheeks. " God I am so tired" he whispers quietly. The moaning starts again. He pulls himself up and begins staggering down the alley, The Stench of the dead , and the thumps of wet meat slapping against asphalt, he knew that with his pneumonia he was dead. " I CAN'T DIE IN A STUPID ALLEY" he croaks, a coughing fit slows him down, but he wants to live. slowly he turns the corner, and a door stairs him in the face. It has a brass handle and a sign saying UNCLE REMUS' EMPORIUM OF THE ARCANE swings in a breeze. " What the hell?" he hears a meaty slap and runs/falls toward the brass door handle, he grasp it sees light as he losses consciousness.

hope i did not bring bad vodoo, but i could not resist trying await to see if you sally forth or if this dies the do do bird.

The old man glances up at the sudden intrusion, fumbling a bit with an apparently delicate item and nearly dropping it twice in his distraction. After regaining his composure he sets the item, which appears to be a tiny crystal statuette of a lithe dancer, on the counter and mumbles a bit under his breath as he approaches the sodden lump of flesh on his floor, a gnarled and softly glowing "walking stick" floating over to his hand as he moves. He stops a short distance away to visually inspect the poor soul with a look somewhere between total disgust and absent concern. With slight "harumph" of impatience he gives the lump a not-too-gentle nudge in the ribs with his stick. "Oy!! Inn's down the street ya drunken oaf! Go sleep it off!" Getting no response from the unconcious form he gives an almost irritated sigh and gestures lightly, tendrils of mystic energy wrapping the body up in a strong embrace and lifting him like a child's doll from the floor to give him the old heave ho.
As the body buckles a bit under it's own weight, a ragged wheezing gasp of breath is heard, making the old man hold his hand up to stop the bum's rush short of the door. With a more discerning eye, he brings the body closer with a wave of his hand, reaching a cool hand out to touch against the man's forehead, slowly withdrawing it with a grim sigh. Without another word and the briefest of thoughts, the shop instantly comes to life with herbs and medicines flying from the shelves to mix and brew in bowls and pots that dance across the counter to settle on a fire that suddenly springs to life in the hearth. In this buzz of activity, the man's clothes are spirited away with a gesture, replaced with a blanket that feels to have been warmed by a fireside as his body lazilly floats over toward the hearth to settle on a comfortable cot as it gallops up to receive him.
Meanwhile, the old man reaches back and pulls up an old rocking chair opposite where the man lays and settles in, the crystal he was working on at the counter somehow in his hands as though it had always been there, going quietly about his work. "Gonna be an interesting day tomorrow...."

No worries, brah... I'll nibble at this and see where it goes

t0m · Unread post by **t0m** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:22 pm

*the young man in the horned skull mask returns, flustered*

"after an extensive search, i am almost positive that no elven warrior woman matching your description exists in this city...are you positive that she was here in credia? perhaps you have something that belonged to her? a coin she paid with...or some item you took in trade? sometimes, if i concentrate on an object, i can see its past, or its owner..."

*he sits down for a moment, looking like he has been running for hours, if not days without stopping*

"nice homeless guy, by the way. is he for sale?"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:24 pm

BARQ wrote:Waking occasionally in a delirium, he smells musky odors of earth, cinnamon and feels energy like a thousand small tickle bugs coarsing through his body. he smiles at the elderly gentleman "thank you" he croakes. His body thrashes as nightmares of dead flesh, and ghoulish skulls eat his friends and families. A new set of dreams over take him. he stands next to a large "ogre" wearing a full plate armor And dark furs showing him how to wield large stars and and a sword, all to kill the undead, he also seems to learn how to hunt men(cross between undead and bounty hunter) from some customer of uncle Remus.
After fully recovering he explains to Uncle Remus that where he comes from that zombies have infested his world and just surviving is a days job. When He sees uncle Remus do magic he is dumb founded, things like this don't exist, but then neither did zombies and cults. He ask Uncle Remus if he can learn this magic stuff or find some one to teach him. He can find some way to pay him? Especially ways to kill undead.
ok when i saw this start of this new forum, and how your character has stuff all over megaverse i just got carried away. the way you introed him just made me like the character like a favorite uncle.

The old man carefully listens to the man's stories of his life, his expression changing from sympathetic to surprised as the conversation turns to a request to teach him the arcane arts. Over a period of days, Remus considers the request and all that it entails, carefully weighing options and potential consequences.
After a time he agrees to teach him the basics of the mystic arts, particularly focusing on what would be best applied against the supernatural and undead. He even volunteers the services of some of his more physically oriented minions and assistants to show him the ropes of combat. "The training will be gruelling, both mentally and physically, pushing you further than anything you've previously experienced, though the physical part is going to be particularly difficult with a body previously wracked with pneumonia. However, what I teach you is only the beginning. There is a monestery not far from here that trains Undead Hunters... people that make a living doing what you are asking for." He turns and scrawls something on a piece of parchment, sealing it in an envelope and handing it to him with a smile. "When the time comes that I release you, you will take this to the monestery and give it to Padre Gregor Lighthand. He'll know what to do..." He lets a wicked grin cross his face as he looks you over once again "As for the question of payment... let's just say this is on your tab..."
With a quiet chuckle, the old man you will come to know as "Please Master don't hurt me" turns and pulls a few odd looking implements from a shelf and smiles. "So, young apprentice... do we have an accord?"

Glad you like him. Uncle Remus has been an extremely popular NPC in all my games since his inception over 8 years ago. Everyone that has experienced Uncle Remus' shop has been back for more, not only for the magic items, but for the adventures as well. He always has something for adventurers to hunt down for him, especially if they really want to buy something and just can't seem to afford it.

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:35 pm

t0m wrote:*the young man in the horned skull mask returns, flustered*

"after an extensive search, i am almost positive that no elven warrior woman matching your description exists in this city...are you positive that she was here in credia? perhaps you have something that belonged to her? a coin she paid with...or some item you took in trade? sometimes, if i concentrate on an object, i can see its past, or its owner..."

*he sits down for a moment, looking like he has been running for hours, if not days without stopping*

"nice homeless guy, by the way. is he for sale?"

The old man sighs heavilly and shakes his head a bit. "Nah that's alright. Her friend handled the cash in the transaction and there's too many coins to search through to find one he gave me to track them down. No worries about it, kid, but I appreciate you trying." He claps you on the shoulder with a smile and hands you an unmarked 24 pack for your troubles. "And no... the homeless guy is NOT for sale, though he may be looking for a partner soon. I'll let the two of you work that out between yourselves"

t0m · Unread post by **t0m** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:25 pm

"oh i was joking around about buying you, friend. i have been bought and sold as a child myself, i hate nothing as much as i hate slavery...i am also not really looking for a partner right now, but i can offer you a safe place to stay in town if you require one."

*he pulls out a bottle of algor frost-shine and three unmarked potions. he pours three shots of the 'shine' and hands one shot and a potion to the shop owner and the homeless man*

"best drinking game you ever played...anyone interested? my name is grey, by the way. i figure a formal introduction might be appropriate at this point"

*he takes off his mask and drinks his shot and chases it with a random potion and waits to see the potions effect...a big grin creeping across his face in anticipation*

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:03 pm

BARQ wrote:The spastic coughs, and delirium make the mans face appear like a villain who faces a certain dark knight, he agrees whole heartedly. "nothing in this strange place could do any worse than seeing my family dead, so yes i accept." He looks at the funny man who "wants" to buy him. He smiles wickedly and gives the universal greeting of hello. the whole time filling and endless bag with .... thinking a human body would fit well in the bag.

ok Juliuscreed I nominate you to rank of appretice story teller, and i think Uncle remus has earned a very real place in my games if i may. I think your Uncle Remus may be to fantasy, what ikzar is for the heroes forum. now mind this is only my opinion. lol and i really do have pneumnia nd am full of good drugs but your uncle si damn good. so ENJOY THANKGIVING, /BOWS

The old man nods with a satisfied grin as he takes the drinks offered by the strange man in the mask, downing the shot and potion in rapid succession as he glances between the pair with a wry chuckle. "Well gentlemen, if you'll excuse me I've got a shop to run. I look forward to having you as regular customers. Come by anytime."

Thank you, thank you! No applause please. Ok maybe just a litte applause.

I'm glad you like dear old Uncle Remus. Perhaps one day I'll get him and his wares down on paper and submitted to PB so he can become a part of everyone's world the same way he's become a part of yours. Until then, he shall be readilly available to any and all who seek an alchemist with a bit more up his sleeves than what you can find already printed. Hope your recovery goes well and you get better fast. And Happy Thanksgiving to you as well... may your turkey be moist and juicy, even when it's down to leftovers.

t0m · Unread post by **t0m** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:32 pm

"ok. ill be back soon. i think my friend 'doc' would get a kick out of your shhhooooppppp...wiat what?"

*as he speaks, his words come out in the form of operatic singing, sounding like a world class tenor*

"oh, i must have got one of those singing potions...hahhahaaaaaaaaa. this will be fun when i get home. i wonder how long it will laaaasssstttt????"

"are you coming with me, homeless guyyyyy? fancy a hot meal and a waaarm bed?"

t0m · Unread post by **t0m** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 3:19 am

"the only funny business at my house is once my friend doc starts on the liquor and we get a random potion into himmmmmm lalala...faaaahhhlalalalala. this potion is a riot. do re mi fah so la ti dooooooo"

"i wonder what uncle remus got?"

*he walks out the door, ushering stone in the right direction. you can hear him singing the whole way home*

TheGameMaster · Thu Nov 25, 2010 4:20 am

A man in studded leather and a black cloak walks in;

"Working on forming a shop quartet?, My friend said I should stop by, he's a Bounty Hunter that was in here a few days ago. He said you have some really interesting wares. I'm an Undead Hunter on my way to the near by monestary to get some rest and see if I can't find some places with a high population of undead/monsters"

He takes a look around;

"THis is some nice stuff," He leans in closer "Do you have any 'Special' items? You know maybe something that you keep put away for a rainy day or thos 'special' costomers? I'll gladly pay, or maybe there is a service I can do for you, a quest of some sort?"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:36 pm

TheGameMaster wrote:A man in studded leather and a black cloak walks in;

"Working on forming a shop quartet?, My friend said I should stop by, he's a Bounty Hunter that was in here a few days ago. He said you have some really interesting wares. I'm an Undead Hunter on my way to the near by monestary to get some rest and see if I can't find some places with a high population of undead/monsters"

He takes a look around;

"THis is some nice stuff," He leans in closer "Do you have any 'Special' items? You know maybe something that you keep put away for a rainy day or thos 'special' costomers? I'll gladly pay, or maybe there is a service I can do for you, a quest of some sort?"

The old man quirks a brow curiously a moment before recognition dawns on his features with a smile. "Ah yessss, I remember now. Your friend the Bounty Hunter mentioned you were looking for barding for your horse or something. Seems you're in the market for something a little more hands on though so let's see what I've got here..."

Wooden Sword: Laugh if you want, this thing is dangerous, especially to the undead. It's fashioned in the shape of any sword you like, large or small, and is enchanted to do double damage to undead creatures. (1d6 normal, 2d6 vs. undead) It also makes for a very useful stake against Vampires, especially with a Regeneration enchantment. How it works is when you stake a victim (not neccessarily a Vampire) the end of the sword breaks off inside the body (hopefully the heart) and regrows a new one. While the end is broken off the weapon's damage is reduced for 1 melee round while it grows back. (1d4 normal, 2d4 against undead) The part that's broken off in the body continues to do damage to the victim at a rate of 1d4 per melee as long as the victim remains active or until it is removed. (double to a Vampire unless it's in the heart, then the Vampire is immobilized as though staked) The weapon can also be further enchanted with up to two more weapon enchantments except Indestructible. (this enchantment keeps the weapon from breaking off) If enchanted as a Flaming Sword, the end that breaks off in the victim will do 1d6 damage direct to the victim's Hit Points for 1d6 melees as the piece keeps burning for a bit. Cost 25,000 Additional enchantments can be added at normal cost.

Seekers: This is a weapon enchantment reserved for missile weapons ONLY, such as arrows or crossbow bolts, but it can also be applied to Thrown weapons like knives and throwing axes. The enchantment gives the weapon a +3 to strike that can be used in determining Critical Strikes. Thus a Critical Strike needing a 17 or better needs a 14 or better with a weapon with this enchantment. Cost: 10,000 gold

Strongoak Arrows: Originally designed for an Elf Ranger named Kevyn Strongoak who specialized in hunting Vampires. They are composed of an Ironwood shaft, fletched with an Angel's Feather and tipped with a silver double broadhead. The tip is engraved with the holy symbols of 8 of the primary gods of the Church of Light and Dark, specifically Ra, Isis, Thoth, Bennu, Set, Anubis, Amon and Apepi. It is enchanted to be Indesructible, does double damage to Demons, and has the Seeker enchantment above. The end result is an arrow that does 2d6 damage to mortal targets, 4d6 against Demons, and 1d6x10 damage to Vampires. Damage listed is for Long Bow arrows. Also available for Short Bows (1d6, 2d6 and 5d6 damage) and Crossbows. (1d8, 2d8 and 5d8 damage) These arrows are highly cost restrictive due to the enchantments normally placed on them as well as the nature of some of the components (Angel Feathers and Silver Arrowheads) but for what they do, many Undead Hunters find them worth every penny. Cost: 75,000 gold EACH

"And in case you are in the market for a new set of Barding for your horse, here's a few things that may interest you..."

Barding of the Pegasus: A set of standard horse barding of any type, though leather seems to be the preferred type for this enchantment, upon command of the rider a pair of mystic wings sprouts from the shoulder area of the armor allowing the horse and rider to fly at a speed of 60 mph. The horse still suffers from its usual restrictions on how much it can carry and is incapable of pulling anything (like a cart or wagon) while flying. Duration of the flight is up to 3 hours at a time and the power can be activated twice per day. Cost: 25,000+ gold (heavier types of barding tend to cost 25%-50% more) Special Note: As normal horses are NOT used to flying around, there is about a 25% chance the beast panics and bolts the first time it is activated. Riders roll against appropriate Horsemanship skill to avoid being thrown. If the rider is thrown, the armor's power automatically shuts down and the horse takes off in a straight run for 1d6+4 minutes or until it comes to an obstacle it cannot pass such as a wide river or gorge or a very high wall. Riders that are not thrown may be able to calm the animal in 1d4 melees.

Nightmare Barding: A dark colored suit of barding, usually Plate, set with hard edges and spikes. When commanded by the rider, the animal and rider are engulfed in a fiery aura similar to the Fiery Touch spell. (PFRPG pg. 234) The only real difference is this aura is visible! If the rider dismounts, the aura no longer covers/protects him, but he can still re-mount the beast without taking damage from the flaming aura. (he's also the ONLY one that can do this) Also once per melee the rider, while mounted, can command the horse to Breathe Fire as per the spell. (PFRPG pg. 237) Unlike the spell, this only costs one attack, but it is one of the rider's attacks, not the horse's. Range of the breath attack is 20 feet. Duration of the fiery aura is 20 melees (Note: The flaming aura must be active for the Breathe Fire ability to be used) and may be activated 3 times per 24 hour period. Cost: 50,000+ gold

Silver Shoes: Actually horseshoes, but still made of silver, enchanted to be Indestructible (silver is a pretty soft metal otherwise), these little beauties let a horse's Kick Attacks do double damage to Vampires and other creatures vulnerable to silver. Cost: 100,000 per set of 4 (a bargain, really, considering the Indestructible Enchantment costs 30,000 per item)

"If there's anything else I might be able to get you, I also stock all standard Undead Hunter gear and supplies at standard costs. And speaking of costs, there is this thing I need..."
Thanks for stopping by! Come back again soon!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
And don't forget to stop by for all your holiday shopping needs! Black Friday Special tomorrow! Buy 1 item, get one of equal or lesser value at half price! Tomorrow ONLY at Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane! A free Can of Whoop-Ass for all orders over 500,000 gold!!

pblackcrow · Unread post by **pblackcrow** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:45 pm

An elven noble wizard enters the shop, though only 5'11 his aura is that of a pure elf, he bows formally in the olden way. And says, "Hello Master Alchemist", and making some quick hands jesters partly hidden by his cloak so that only Remus can see. The jesters are known as the greeting by the members of the local guild of Mages, and there by identifying himself as a member there of. As he approaches the counter you notice 4 fairly young, rather well cut muscularly, and handsome, men that are accompanying him. Their expressions say guards.

The elf speaks again, "Could you please help me with a matter?...I was wondering if you have an almanac for the next 10 cycles (years). The weather these next years concerns me greatly. I need to know when it would be advised to have my people start planting the seeds. Unlike this past year when we had that dreadfully late cold spell...we lost a great deal of food, and had to import food and plants from the island of Castius. I spent a large amount of gold, but my people are worth it."

TheGameMaster · Fri Nov 26, 2010 12:05 am

JuliusCreed wrote:
TheGameMaster wrote:A man in studded leather and a black cloak walks in;

"Working on forming a shop quartet?, My friend said I should stop by, he's a Bounty Hunter that was in here a few days ago. He said you have some really interesting wares. I'm an Undead Hunter on my way to the near by monestary to get some rest and see if I can't find some places with a high population of undead/monsters"

He takes a look around;

"THis is some nice stuff," He leans in closer "Do you have any 'Special' items? You know maybe something that you keep put away for a rainy day or thos 'special' costomers? I'll gladly pay, or maybe there is a service I can do for you, a quest of some sort?"

The old man quirks a brow curiously a moment before recognition dawns on his features with a smile. "Ah yessss, I remember now. Your friend the Bounty Hunter mentioned you were looking for barding for your horse or something. Seems you're in the market for something a little more hands on though so let's see what I've got here..."

Wooden Sword:
Seekers:
Strongoak Arrows:
Nightmare Barding: Silver Shoes: Actually horseshoes, but still made of silver, enchanted to be Indestructible (silver is a pretty soft metal otherwise), these little beauties let a horse's Kick Attacks do double damage to Vampires and other creatures vulnerable to silver. Cost: 100,000 per set of 4 (a bargain, really, considering the Indestructible Enchantment costs 30,000 per item)

"If there's anything else I might be able to get you, I also stock all standard Undead Hunter gear and supplies at standard costs. And speaking of costs, there is this thing I need..."
Thanks for stopping by! Come back again soon!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
And don't forget to stop by for all your holiday shopping needs! Black Friday Special tomorrow! Buy 1 item, get one of equal or lesser value at half price! Tomorrow ONLY at Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane! A free Can of Whoop-Ass for all orders over 500,000 gold!!

I'll take one Wooden Sword, three Seekers in the form of throwing knives, six Strongoak Arrows for a short bow, one set of Noghtmare Barding (in scalemail if you have it), and two sets of the shoes...and what is thisThing you need? I assume it will cover at least some of the costs of my purchase.

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Fri Nov 26, 2010 12:31 am

pblackcrow wrote:An elven noble wizard enters the shop, though only 5'11 his aura is that of a pure elf, he bows formally in the olden way. And says, "Hello Master Alchemist", and making some quick hands jesters partly hidden by his cloak so that only Remus can see. The jesters are known as the greeting by the members of the local guild of Mages, and there by identifying himself as a member there of. As he approaches the counter you notice 4 fairly young, rather well cut muscularly, and handsome, men that are accompanying him. Their expressions say guards.

The elf speaks again, "Could you please help me with a matter?...I was wondering if you have an almanac for the next 10 cycles (years). The weather these next years concerns me greatly. I need to know when it would be advised to have my people start planting the seeds. Unlike this past year when we had that dreadfully late cold spell...we lost a great deal of food, and had to import food and plants from the island of Castius. I spent a large amount of gold, but my people are worth it."

The old man quirks a brow as the elf goes through the gestures of greeting for his guild and nods before flawlessly performing all appropriate return gestures for the same guild, though with much less discretion. With an odd little smile he settles into his rocking chair and addresses him in formal Court Elven. "A weather Almanac covering the next ten cycles? Simple enough. I can get you one that covers the next ten cycles with a roughly 95% accuracy, barring any supernatural interference, spell casting and/or acts of the gods. Anything else I can do for you son?"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Fri Nov 26, 2010 12:41 am

TheGameMaster wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
TheGameMaster wrote:A man in studded leather and a black cloak walks in;

"Working on forming a shop quartet?, My friend said I should stop by, he's a Bounty Hunter that was in here a few days ago. He said you have some really interesting wares. I'm an Undead Hunter on my way to the near by monestary to get some rest and see if I can't find some places with a high population of undead/monsters"

He takes a look around;

"THis is some nice stuff," He leans in closer "Do you have any 'Special' items? You know maybe something that you keep put away for a rainy day or thos 'special' costomers? I'll gladly pay, or maybe there is a service I can do for you, a quest of some sort?"

The old man quirks a brow curiously a moment before recognition dawns on his features with a smile. "Ah yessss, I remember now. Your friend the Bounty Hunter mentioned you were looking for barding for your horse or something. Seems you're in the market for something a little more hands on though so let's see what I've got here..."

Wooden Sword: Laugh if you want, this thing is dangerous, especially to the undead. It's fashioned in the shape of any sword you like, large or small, and is enchanted to do double damage to undead creatures. (1d6 normal, 2d6 vs. undead) It also makes for a very useful stake against Vampires, especially with a Regeneration enchantment. How it works is when you stake a victim (not neccessarily a Vampire) the end of the sword breaks off inside the body (hopefully the heart) and regrows a new one. While the end is broken off the weapon's damage is reduced for 1 melee round while it grows back. (1d4 normal, 2d4 against undead) The part that's broken off in the body continues to do damage to the victim at a rate of 1d4 per melee as long as the victim remains active or until it is removed. (double to a Vampire unless it's in the heart, then the Vampire is immobilized as though staked) The weapon can also be further enchanted with up to two more weapon enchantments except Indestructible. (this enchantment keeps the weapon from breaking off) If enchanted as a Flaming Sword, the end that breaks off in the victim will do 1d6 damage direct to the victim's Hit Points for 1d6 melees as the piece keeps burning for a bit. Cost 25,000 Additional enchantments can be added at normal cost.

Seekers: This is a weapon enchantment reserved for missile weapons ONLY, such as arrows or crossbow bolts, but it can also be applied to Thrown weapons like knives and throwing axes. The enchantment gives the weapon a +3 to strike that can be used in determining Critical Strikes. Thus a Critical Strike needing a 17 or better needs a 14 or better with a weapon with this enchantment. Cost: 10,000 gold

Strongoak Arrows: Originally designed for an Elf Ranger named Kevyn Strongoak who specialized in hunting Vampires. They are composed of an Ironwood shaft, fletched with an Angel's Feather and tipped with a silver double broadhead. The tip is engraved with the holy symbols of 8 of the primary gods of the Church of Light and Dark, specifically Ra, Isis, Thoth, Bennu, Set, Anubis, Amon and Apepi. It is enchanted to be Indesructible, does double damage to Demons, and has the Seeker enchantment above. The end result is an arrow that does 2d6 damage to mortal targets, 4d6 against Demons, and 1d6x10 damage to Vampires. Damage listed is for Long Bow arrows. Also available for Short Bows (1d6, 2d6 and 5d6 damage) and Crossbows. (1d8, 2d8 and 5d8 damage) These arrows are highly cost restrictive due to the enchantments normally placed on them as well as the nature of some of the components (Angel Feathers and Silver Arrowheads) but for what they do, many Undead Hunters find them worth every penny. Cost: 75,000 gold EACH

"And in case you are in the market for a new set of Barding for your horse, here's a few things that may interest you..."

Barding of the Pegasus: A set of standard horse barding of any type, though leather seems to be the preferred type for this enchantment, upon command of the rider a pair of mystic wings sprouts from the shoulder area of the armor allowing the horse and rider to fly at a speed of 60 mph. The horse still suffers from its usual restrictions on how much it can carry and is incapable of pulling anything (like a cart or wagon) while flying. Duration of the flight is up to 3 hours at a time and the power can be activated twice per day. Cost: 25,000+ gold (heavier types of barding tend to cost 25%-50% more) Special Note: As normal horses are NOT used to flying around, there is about a 25% chance the beast panics and bolts the first time it is activated. Riders roll against appropriate Horsemanship skill to avoid being thrown. If the rider is thrown, the armor's power automatically shuts down and the horse takes off in a straight run for 1d6+4 minutes or until it comes to an obstacle it cannot pass such as a wide river or gorge or a very high wall. Riders that are not thrown may be able to calm the animal in 1d4 melees.

Nightmare Barding: A dark colored suit of barding, usually Plate, set with hard edges and spikes. When commanded by the rider, the animal and rider are engulfed in a fiery aura similar to the Fiery Touch spell. (PFRPG pg. 234) The only real difference is this aura is visible! If the rider dismounts, the aura no longer covers/protects him, but he can still re-mount the beast without taking damage from the flaming aura. (he's also the ONLY one that can do this) Also once per melee the rider, while mounted, can command the horse to Breathe Fire as per the spell. (PFRPG pg. 237) Unlike the spell, this only costs one attack, but it is one of the rider's attacks, not the horse's. Range of the breath attack is 20 feet. Duration of the fiery aura is 20 melees (Note: The flaming aura must be active for the Breathe Fire ability to be used) and may be activated 3 times per 24 hour period. Cost: 50,000+ gold

Silver Shoes: Actually horseshoes, but still made of silver, enchanted to be Indestructible (silver is a pretty soft metal otherwise), these little beauties let a horse's Kick Attacks do double damage to Vampires and other creatures vulnerable to silver. Cost: 100,000 per set of 4 (a bargain, really, considering the Indestructible Enchantment costs 30,000 per item)

"If there's anything else I might be able to get you, I also stock all standard Undead Hunter gear and supplies at standard costs. And speaking of costs, there is this thing I need..."
Thanks for stopping by! Come back again soon!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
And don't forget to stop by for all your holiday shopping needs! Black Friday Special tomorrow! Buy 1 item, get one of equal or lesser value at half price! Tomorrow ONLY at Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane! A free Can of Whoop-Ass for all orders over 500,000 gold!!

I'll take one Wooden Sword, three Seekers in the form of throwing knives, six Strongoak Arrows for a short bow, one set of Noghtmare Barding (in scalemail if you have it), and two sets of the shoes...and what is thisThing you need? I assume it will cover at least some of the costs of my purchase.

Uncle Remus starts placing the requested items on the counter, including the requested barding being Scale Armor. With a wry grin he leans in close to the man, beckoning him closer as his voice drops to a conspiritorial whisper. "See... there's this really sexy looking Elf warrior girl that stumbled in here a few posts back... had a couple friends with her; a rather dim-looking orc and some lanky dude in red robes. You get me her name, address and a list of her turn-ons... I give you a pretty healthy discount... say.... 50%? Maybe more if you can get it fast....?"

TheGameMaster · Fri Nov 26, 2010 4:23 am

I will return with this for you as soon as I can.

pblackcrow · Unread post by **pblackcrow** » Fri Nov 26, 2010 1:02 pm

JuliusCreed wrote:
pblackcrow wrote:An elven noble wizard enters the shop, though only 5'11 his aura is that of a pure elf, he bows formally in the olden way. And says, "Hello Master Alchemist", and making some quick hands jesters partly hidden by his cloak so that only Remus can see. The jesters are known as the greeting by the members of the local guild of Mages, and there by identifying himself as a member there of. As he approaches the counter you notice 4 fairly young, rather well cut muscularly, and handsome, men that are accompanying him. Their expressions say guards.

The elf speaks again, "Could you please help me with a matter?...I was wondering if you have an almanac for the next 10 cycles (years). The weather these next years concerns me greatly. I need to know when it would be advised to have my people start planting the seeds. Unlike this past year when we had that dreadfully late cold spell...we lost a great deal of food, and had to import food and plants from the island of Castius. I spent a large amount of gold, but my people are worth it."

The old man quirks a brow as the elf goes through the gestures of greeting for his guild and nods before flawlessly performing all appropriate return gestures for the same guild, though with much less discretion. With an odd little smile he settles into his rocking chair and addresses him in formal Court Elven. "A weather Almanac covering the next ten cycles? Simple enough. I can get you one that covers the next ten cycles with a roughly 95% accuracy, barring any supernatural interference, spell casting and/or acts of the gods. Anything else I can do for you son?"

"For how much does such an item sell normally sell for?" the Elf will ask. Than motion him in close and asks in guild tongue, "I can see your busy right now, so meet me at the keep when you have time to spare. I wish to know if you've heard any courtly talk of note to me? Or perhaps something that might get me out of the keep for a while to rehone my mental skills?" Laying down a small "empty" blue velvet bag, that radiates magic and contains 25 phoenix coins, worth 500 gold each. "Consider it a down payment." And a note that read, "A rumor that might interest you has caught my ear the other day...Now, this is a rumor mind you. However, I heard from a certain Jester that Lady De'Stuffane is pregnant, and her husband has been away for quite some time at the high court as a juryman. Also from Loknear, a certain knight; not mentioning names; has been leaving his *clears throat* sword belt at a certain apartment here. Visiting an army buddy, making a "social call". I do try to make it a point to know who of interest comes into fiefdom and I have a mind mage stationed at the gates, I have never denied it. But of all people, who am I to judge? But he should at least have the decency to end things with his girlfriend, the dane, and don't be coming here and sneaking around trying to hide it." Once Remus finishes reading the note, he will *clears throat* his throat and hold out his hand wanting the note back. When he hands him the note, you see it disappear and reappear in the fire place. And resumes talking in courtly elvish, "But shall this cover your expenses?"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Fri Nov 26, 2010 3:26 pm

pblackcrow wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
pblackcrow wrote:An elven noble wizard enters the shop, though only 5'11 his aura is that of a pure elf, he bows formally in the olden way. And says, "Hello Master Alchemist", and making some quick hands jesters partly hidden by his cloak so that only Remus can see. The jesters are known as the greeting by the members of the local guild of Mages, and there by identifying himself as a member there of. As he approaches the counter you notice 4 fairly young, rather well cut muscularly, and handsome, men that are accompanying him. Their expressions say guards.

The elf speaks again, "Could you please help me with a matter?...I was wondering if you have an almanac for the next 10 cycles (years). The weather these next years concerns me greatly. I need to know when it would be advised to have my people start planting the seeds. Unlike this past year when we had that dreadfully late cold spell...we lost a great deal of food, and had to import food and plants from the island of Castius. I spent a large amount of gold, but my people are worth it."

The old man quirks a brow as the elf goes through the gestures of greeting for his guild and nods before flawlessly performing all appropriate return gestures for the same guild, though with much less discretion. With an odd little smile he settles into his rocking chair and addresses him in formal Court Elven. "A weather Almanac covering the next ten cycles? Simple enough. I can get you one that covers the next ten cycles with a roughly 95% accuracy, barring any supernatural interference, spell casting and/or acts of the gods. Anything else I can do for you son?"

"For how much does such an item sell normally sell for?" the Elf will ask. Than motion him in close and asks in guild tongue, "I can see your busy right now, so meet me at the keep when you have time to spare. I wish to know if you've heard any courtly talk of note to me? Or perhaps something that might get me out of the keep for a while to rehone my mental skills?" Laying down a small "empty" blue velvet bag, that radiates magic and contains 25 phoenix coins, worth 500 gold each. "Consider it a down payment." And a note that read, "A rumor that might interest you has caught my ear the other day...Now, this is a rumor mind you. However, I heard from a certain Jester that Lady De'Stuffane is pregnant, and her husband has been away for quite some time at the high court as a juryman. Also from Loknear, a certain knight; not mentioning names; has been leaving his *clears throat* sword belt at a certain apartment here. Visiting an army buddy, making a "social call". I do try to make it a point to know who of interest comes into fiefdom and I have a mind mage stationed at the gates, I have never denied it. But of all people, who am I to judge? But he should at least have the decency to end things with his girlfriend, the dane, and don't be coming here and sneaking around trying to hide it." Once Remus finishes reading the note, he will *clears throat* his throat and hold out his hand wanting the note back. When he hands him the note, you see it disappear and reappear in the fire place. And resumes talking in courtly elvish, "But shall this cover your expenses?"

The old man barely stifles a chuckle at the news of Lady De'Stuffane and the knight "visiting an old army buddy", making a mental note to perhaps visit the good Lady himself some sleepless night. And perhaps maybe even a call to the knight's girlfriend the dane would be in order as well... heartbroken lasses are always in such dire need of comfort when they discover such illicit affairs. And while it's never been a secret that a Mind Mage is constantly stationed at the gates, what is probably not so well know is said Mind Mage's penchant for indulging in some of the more... shall we say, euphoric... aspects of his skills in botany and herbology. But of course you never heard any of this from me. As for the coins, they vanish with a wave of the hand and a glimmer of the eye, a rather thick looking leather bound book bearing the symbols of the moon phases appearing in their place. Aye my good sir, that should cover the expenses quite readilly. And might I reccomend you pay particular attention to the first week of harvest month... could be some pretty dangerous developments for the peoples' crops this year.

TheGameMaster · Sat Nov 27, 2010 2:53 pm

The Undead Hunter returns with the Orc that was with the Elven warrior fallowing him.

"Uncle Remus, I have retrived the information you requested! Her name is Lithe'anial'itarmos Groomen'tharth, though she said most just call her Lithe. She is a Pallidin of Ruga, and says that her home is where ever her Goddess takes her. Her passions are; 'Faith, battle and a good challenge'. I hope this will satisfy your request. Also do you know of anyone who needs an Orc companion?"

he looks hopelessly at the Orc as he nearly knock something off one of the shelves. The Hunter sighs and rolls his eyes.

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Sun Nov 28, 2010 6:43 am

TheGameMaster wrote:The Undead Hunter returns with the Orc that was with the Elven warrior fallowing him.

"Uncle Remus, I have retrived the information you requested! Her name is Lithe'anial'itarmos Groomen'tharth, though she said most just call her Lithe. She is a Pallidin of Ruga, and says that her home is where ever her Goddess takes her. Her passions are; 'Faith, battle and a good challenge'. I hope this will satisfy your request. Also do you know of anyone who needs an Orc companion?"

he looks hopelessly at the Orc as he nearly knock something off one of the shelves. The Hunter sighs and rolls his eyes.

A small explosion is heard somewhere in the back as you enter the shop followed by a litany of creative euphisms in at least a dozen different languages, most of them involving what somethings mother can go and do with Belphegor of the Sulphur Pits. A moment later, Uncle Remus comes out with a pleasant smile on his soot smudged face, a tiny little fire burning on his sleeve.
"Glad to see you! And thank you so much for the information. It will help immensely in a couple of my more.... creative... ventures. Now, here's all of the items you ordered and for getting that little tidbit for me I figure you've earned a decent discout... say about.... 75%. You were pretty quick in retrieving the info for me. Thanks again for that. As for the orc..." he eyes the rather simple looking guy with a dubious eye, "I suppose I can keep him here for a bit. I could maybe use him as a sweeping boy or deliveries or something." He winces a bit as a bottle the Orc is inspecting teeters then falls from a shelf, stopping a mere inch from the floor before floating back up to its place before the creature's bewildered eyes. "Okay, maybe not sweeping, but I'm certain I can find something for him here. One last thing before you go. Do you happen to know where this Palladin of Rurga is currently located? I have something I'd like to give her. I can make it woth your while, of course." He gets a grin that borders somewhere between mischeviously wicked and downright devious.

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Sun Nov 28, 2010 9:56 am

Hey everybody! Uncle Remus here! My but it's been a busy time here what with all the new customers and such coming and going all willy nilly! But I have finally found a few new items to stock up my shelves thanks to the asisstance of my loving wife Auntie Remus! Here's just a few of the items she's helped me concoct;

Cook Pots: A small iron pot or cauldron about a foot across with a capacity of about a gallon or so. Unadorned in any way save for a single mark of unknown origin on the bottom. When activated with the command word "heetumop" the pot warms to a nice hot 100 degrees for up to 2 hours, or until commanded to deactivate with the command word "gudendun", while the outer surface remains cool to the touch! Anything in the pot, such as food or water, will be heated to boiling and/or cooked normally. While it doesn't add any bonuses to the Cook skill, it DOES eliminate the need for a fire to cook with (exceptionally useful when you just can't get a fire started) Cost: 5000 gold Also comes in a Frying Pan version for 3000 gold

Hunting Tent: Take an Environmental Tent and add a permanent Chameleon enchantment and BOOM!... Hunting Tent! Has all the Environmental regulation capabilities of a standard Environmental Tent and all the Stealth capabilities of Chameleon! Great for Rangers and trappers of all kinds. The Military forces of many places are looking at these things with a rather interested brow too, though the cost can be awfully restrictive for such large scale sales. Cost:55,000 for a 2-man, 60,000 for a 4-man and 70,000 for an 8-man tent Special Note: Another version of the Hunting Tent can be purchased that does NOT include the Environmental Tent's environmental regulation powers. Cost for this version is 10,000 less than the above prices

Forgettable Hat: A rather largish, wide brimmed leather hat adorned with a large feather plume and a garish hatband (think French Muskateer hats only a little bigger) when worn they make the character a lot less noticeable. It's not that the wearer can't be seen, but more like they just don't really get noticed. One would think that this would add to one's Prowl skill; it does NOT. Instead, it makes it possible for the wearer to attempt to Prowl out in the open or while crossing an area under direct observation. For example a thief wearing this hat could, in broad daylight, attempt to Prowl past a castle's guards through the front gate and into the treasury! As long as he/she succeeds on the Prowl roll, no one notices them! This item may be used in conjunction with a Cloak of Shadows, Boots of Mystery or any other device that affects a Prowl skill EXCEPT anything that turns the wearer Invisible. (the enchantment doesn't work if you can't see the hat) Note: The wearer can still be detected through Psionic means, such as Presence Sense, See Aura and, in the case of the wearer being a crafty Assassin, Sixth Sense, or by magical detections such as Detect Concealment, Locate, or with a Gem of Reality. Cost: 15,000 gold

Icebox: Tired of relying on your Water Warlock to create ice for your cold drinks? Buy an Icebox! This handy little device creates up to 3 lbs of ice every 24 hours in neatly stacked little cubes. The box measures 1 foot per side and can be activated 3 times per 24 hours (1 lb per activation) You want that Scotch on the rocks? Cost: 1000 gold

Thanks for coming by! Come again soon!

pblackcrow · Unread post by **pblackcrow** » Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:57 am

JuliusCreed wrote:
pblackcrow wrote:
JuliusCreed wrote:
pblackcrow wrote:An elven noble wizard enters the shop, though only 5'11 his aura is that of a pure elf, he bows formally in the olden way. And says, "Hello Master Alchemist", and making some quick hands jesters partly hidden by his cloak so that only Remus can see. The jesters are known as the greeting by the members of the local guild of Mages, and there by identifying himself as a member there of. As he approaches the counter you notice 4 fairly young, rather well cut muscularly, and handsome, men that are accompanying him. Their expressions say guards.

The elf speaks again, "Could you please help me with a matter?...I was wondering if you have an almanac for the next 10 cycles (years). The weather these next years concerns me greatly. I need to know when it would be advised to have my people start planting the seeds. Unlike this past year when we had that dreadfully late cold spell...we lost a great deal of food, and had to import food and plants from the island of Castius. I spent a large amount of gold, but my people are worth it."

The old man quirks a brow as the elf goes through the gestures of greeting for his guild and nods before flawlessly performing all appropriate return gestures for the same guild, though with much less discretion. With an odd little smile he settles into his rocking chair and addresses him in formal Court Elven. "A weather Almanac covering the next ten cycles? Simple enough. I can get you one that covers the next ten cycles with a roughly 95% accuracy, barring any supernatural interference, spell casting and/or acts of the gods. Anything else I can do for you son?"

"For how much does such an item sell normally sell for?" the Elf will ask. Than motion him in close and asks in guild tongue, "I can see your busy right now, so meet me at the keep when you have time to spare. I wish to know if you've heard any courtly talk of note to me? Or perhaps something that might get me out of the keep for a while to rehone my mental skills?" Laying down a small "empty" blue velvet bag, that radiates magic and contains 25 phoenix coins, worth 500 gold each. "Consider it a down payment." And a note that read, "A rumor that might interest you has caught my ear the other day...Now, this is a rumor mind you. However, I heard from a certain Jester that Lady De'Stuffane is pregnant, and her husband has been away for quite some time at the high court as a juryman. Also from Loknear, a certain knight; not mentioning names; has been leaving his *clears throat* sword belt at a certain apartment here. Visiting an army buddy, making a "social call". I do try to make it a point to know who of interest comes into fiefdom and I have a mind mage stationed at the gates, I have never denied it. But of all people, who am I to judge? But he should at least have the decency to end things with his girlfriend, the dane, and don't be coming here and sneaking around trying to hide it." Once Remus finishes reading the note, he will *clears throat* his throat and hold out his hand wanting the note back. When he hands him the note, you see it disappear and reappear in the fire place. And resumes talking in courtly elvish, "But shall this cover your expenses?"

The old man barely stifles a chuckle at the news of Lady De'Stuffane and the knight "visiting an old army buddy", making a mental note to perhaps visit the good Lady himself some sleepless night. And perhaps maybe even a call to the knight's girlfriend the dane would be in order as well... heartbroken lasses are always in such dire need of comfort when they discover such illicit affairs. And while it's never been a secret that a Mind Mage is constantly stationed at the gates, what is probably not so well know is said Mind Mage's penchant for indulging in some of the more... shall we say, euphoric... aspects of his skills in botany and herbology. But of course you never heard any of this from me. As for the coins, they vanish with a wave of the hand and a glimmer of the eye, a rather thick looking leather bound book bearing the symbols of the moon phases appearing in their place. Aye my good sir, that should cover the expenses quite readilly. And might I reccomend you pay particular attention to the first week of harvest month... could be some pretty dangerous developments for the peoples' crops this year.

"Thank you for the info. And uh, what time might I expect you?"

JuliusCreed · Unread post by **JuliusCreed** » Mon Nov 29, 2010 12:48 pm

pblackcrow wrote:Thank you for the info. And uh, what time might I expect you?"

The old man considers a moment, brows knitting together as he ponders. "Tough to say. I tend to try and be available to all of my customers at all times. I'm available pretty much at the here and now at any given time. Even now!"

TheGameMaster · Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:31 pm

JuliusCreed wrote:
TheGameMaster wrote:The Undead Hunter returns with the Orc that was with the Elven warrior fallowing him.

"Uncle Remus, I have retrived the information you requested! Her name is Lithe'anial'itarmos Groomen'tharth, though she said most just call her Lithe. She is a Pallidin of Ruga, and says that her home is where ever her Goddess takes her. Her passions are; 'Faith, battle and a good challenge'. I hope this will satisfy your request. Also do you know of anyone who needs an Orc companion?"

he looks hopelessly at the Orc as he nearly knock something off one of the shelves. The Hunter sighs and rolls his eyes.

A small explosion is heard somewhere in the back as you enter the shop followed by a litany of creative euphisms in at least a dozen different languages, most of them involving what somethings mother can go and do with Belphegor of the Sulphur Pits. A moment later, Uncle Remus comes out with a pleasant smile on his soot smudged face, a tiny little fire burning on his sleeve.
"Glad to see you! And thank you so much for the information. It will help immensely in a couple of my more.... creative... ventures. Now, here's all of the items you ordered and for getting that little tidbit for me I figure you've earned a decent discout... say about.... 75%. You were pretty quick in retrieving the info for me. Thanks again for that. As for the orc..." he eyes the rather simple looking guy with a dubious eye, "I suppose I can keep him here for a bit. I could maybe use him as a sweeping boy or deliveries or something." He winces a bit as a bottle the Orc is inspecting teeters then falls from a shelf, stopping a mere inch from the floor before floating back up to its place before the creature's bewildered eyes. "Okay, maybe not sweeping, but I'm certain I can find something for him here. One last thing before you go. Do you happen to know where this Palladin of Rurga is currently located? I have something I'd like to give her. I can make it woth your while, of course." He gets a grin that borders somewhere between mischeviously wicked and downright devious.

If you would like uncle Remus, I could deliver this item for you, and tell lady Lithe it is a gift from you. And might I ask Uncle Remus, out of curiosity, what has given you shuch an interest in this elf?

pblackcrow · Unread post by **pblackcrow** » Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:47 pm

"Ah...I see." and switching back into guild tongue, "A fragment of a good multiple dimensional being. In essences, you are many and in many places; but rarely out side of the shop. Cool. Like I said, I make it a point to know about the people of interests in my fiefdom. Shall I come back when you're not so busy? Say 10:00 at night, and I shall leave my guards behind." Again bows formally, and says in Elven, "Good day to you, Master Alchemist. I have several other places to go today. The farmers guild and the local branch of the Imperial Mages guild." Mutters, "My guards houses." "I shall bring the tea, or would you like something a tad stronger. Perhaps a good Elven Meed?"