Fall of House DeLong, part one.

[boxee]

Joan looked around, the bloodshed was massive why did house DeLong rebuke her order. At first she thought they were hiding something, some sinister secret. The soothsayers had to know what was happening and why. She was sure there was something dark waiting in the depths of the earth. She gave the order to destroy the heretics, leave only a few to question at length, even under torture.
Her estimate of the houses number were a massive mis-step. Her first wave 4000 troops were slaughtered, she learned the house had maybe upto 50,000 members. She called a crusade upon them and the full force of her order came to the call. The House they faced had strange warmounts and biotics that seemed smarter then normal.
She hated losing the saints from this hidden house, but they fought with their last breath. Joan later learned they were trying to protect massive storehouses of information, and trying to buy time for the houses children to escape. Her warriors saw only spite from the saints, not the desperation.
The smoke, black and thick bellowed from nearly every hall in this once great house. Blackened charred remains showed mothers curled around their children, trying against hope to save their sons and daughters. Cows standing upright blacked husks, other animals maybe sheep or goats, she could not tell stood in empty fields.
What at first she thought to be idols made to the machines, carved stone robotic forces. The red paint showing the weak points, where to strike to do the most damage. The detail was meticulous, it must have taken years to carve the statues.
House DeLong left nothing the enemy could use, except their seedlings. Joan guessed they thought even if they all die humanity needed the seedlings to survive. The engineers died rather then fall into a hostile forces hands. The scarecrows of the house knew they would not survive long so decided to fight to the last, take down as many of the invaders as possible.
Joan ordered 50,000 troops into the darkness, 758 came back out. She was releived the fight was over until she found a hidden tunnel out, up to the surface. About the same time her scouts on the surface warned about machine activity. Some forces were sitred up in a nearby ghost town. Joan figured the hidden tunnel exited somewhere near there. There must not have been many that escaped or more machines would be on the way.
Joan figured the machines would find the enterence into the house and decided to pull her people away, nothing was to be gained in a senseless battle with the machines. Still she wanted to know where the survivors went....
End part one.



So any feed back would be good.

[Guy_LeDouche]

The fall?! I protest! We should see "The Rise" first!

[boxee]

The fall?! I protest! We should see "The Rise" first!

Thank you for the reply. How did you like the sotry? Did you see the stealth fighter idea I posted? Hope to hear back from you soon.
Boxee.

[kevarin]

looks pretty good now you have to finish it must know what happens when the children come back for revenge

[Guy_LeDouche]

looks pretty good now you have to finish it must know what happens when the children come back for revenge

Seconded.

[Genhuman]

yes. Will part two be coming along any time soon?