Failure to Communicate

[JuliusCreed]

While I initially intended this for the PFRPG threads, I figured the myriad worlds of the Palladium Megaverse have such an ecclectic mix of languages in and of themselves, that it ought to be brought here instead. That said...

Have you ever had a moment in a game where you needed to make a language skill roll and failed utterly? What happened? Was it a simple misunderstanding? Did your failure at speak the language properly result in seriously honking off whoever you were talking to? Or did you just go with the old "He looks at you kinda funny like he doesn't know what you're talking about... want to try rolling again to see if he understands you this time?" route? Well now, here's a little optional table you can use to add a bit of spice to the unexpected failures that can make a gamer's life so interesting. I call it...

The Failed Language Skill Roll Table aka, The Table of Miscommunication
A roll on this table is needed when a Language skill roll is failed, either while trying to talk to someone or while listening to someone else speak.

01-10%: "Two priests walk into a bar...": Apparently a joke was told because the listener begins laughing, giggling, chuckling, chortling, or otherwise responding in such a way as to convey that whatever you said was rather humorous. Another Language roll may be necessary, and can often be readily allowed, in order to try and clarify what was actually meant to be spoken.

11-20%: "Your Momma's so fat...": A very dangerous response, you apparently insulted the listener, his family, his way of life, his race or any number of other personal concepts, and now they're pretty upset with you. Reactions tend to range from a haughty 'harumph!" and refusal to deal with the speaker to borderline violence. Whatever the reaction, it WILL be a negative one and the speaker had best talk fast with another attempted language roll to smooth things over. And they better hope they get it right this time...

21-30%: "I'm sorry, I meant YOURS, not HIS...": Close, but not quite. This is where you almost got what you were trying to say, but a couple small little details got kind of mixed up in your translation. For example you might mean to say "The Queen's ruby necklace is on her dresser", but what you actually said was "The Queen's ruby ring is in my hat." Depending on the situation, this particular blunder can have a wide variety of results, from a simple humorous misunderstanding to getting into serious trouble. Talk fast either way before things start to get ugly and pray it comes out right this time.

31-40%: "Them's fightin' words!": Uh oh, now you've gone and done it! Whatever you said, it has apparently been taken as a personal challenge and now the guy you're talking to feels he must defend his honor, his pride or whatever else it is he feels should be defended because of what you said. Heck for all you know you just walked up and said "Give me your money or die". Whatever it was you said, roll for initiative, hope you win and use your first action re-rolling your Language skill to apologize profusely and hope you get it right!

41-50%: "Please! Don't hurt me...": Oh dear! Something somebody said must have been pretty terrifying because the listener is now quaking in his boots! Did you threaten his family? Did you tell him you know about his dirty little secret? Are you going to tell his boss he really wasn't sick when he called in yesterday? You don't know, but whatever it is you said, please, re-roll and set the poor guy's mind at ease before he wets himself.

51-60%: "Purple stop sign monkey pineapple...": HUH? The ultimate misinterpretation blunder, you simply spout of a bunch of gibberish. Oddly, everything you say is perfectly clear, absolutely no mistakes in nuance or inflection, flawless pronunciation... heck, you sound like a native speaker! It's just that whatever you said is just a string of completely unrelated words and phrases that don't even form a coherent sentence. Reactions to this will be either a> Total confusion on the part of the listener, b> The listener thinks it's some kind of joke and starts laughing, albeit a little uncomfortably, or c> The listener looks at the speaker as though he were a complete lunatic. Whatever happens, try again and speak a little more slowly...

61-70%: "Would you like fries with that?": Interestingly enough, you've just asked the listener for something. Whatever it is, it was obviously not a threatening demand because they actually seem rather interested in helping you. Of course, whatever you asked for is not what you want as they try and give you some random thing like a toy, a blanket, food, or even directions to the bathroom. Smile gratefully, give them back whatever they gave you, unless your an evil little sneak with no scruples, and try again.

71-80%: "So sorry, no one here...": A frustrating response, whatever you said has the listener generally put off and unwilling to speak with you any further. Polite refusals and attempts to walk away will be made over and over again as they try to continue about their previous business. Attempts may be made to try speaking again with another Language roll, but are likely to be ignored even if successful unless the speaker has something really interesting to say.

81-90%: "Hey there, good lookin'...": A potentially dangerous result, you've just uttered a pick up line. If the listener is of the opposite sex, this could have a variety of results including, but not limited to, interest in the speaker, ignorance of the speaker, insulted by the speaker or even having the authorities called to deal with the pervert. If the listener is the same sex the result is often treated the same as "Purple stop sign monkey pineapple" above. Either way, you've got one chance to clear this up before something very interesting, and potentially dangerous, happens.

91-100%: "Eh, whatever....": No idea what you said, but whatever it was, it is of absolutely no interest to the listener. They pretty much just shrug and either walk away or look at you expectantly as though waiting for you to actually say something of importance. Either way, try again and hope for a better result.

Have fun with it kids! Good luck and great gaming!

[St. Evil]

How fun will try this out @ my next session.

[Akashic Soldier]

I have included a new communications skill for handling this very situation in my latest Rifter article Charm and Impress: The Key to Success. I kept it simple, intuitive, and fun. You will be able to check it out in Rifter #61. Hope you enjoy it!

I'll admit though, yours is funnier.

So you know... you win.

[JuliusCreed]

I have included a new communications skill for handling this very situation in my latest Rifter article Charm and Impress: The Key to Success. I kept it simple, intuitive, and fun. You will be able to check it out in Rifter #61. Hope you enjoy it!

I'll admit though, yours is funnier.

So you know... you win.

Thank you! Glad you like it, though I will have to defer the win you're giving me to you...

after all, you got published...

so... you know... you win