Forums of the Megaverse®

You are among the masses of people in Palladium Books whose Advertising Slogans and Jingles were.....uh.......subpar.

Okay, your Advertising Ideas for Rifts just plain reeked!!

Now, tell us the failed Advertising Slogans for Rifts Books that YOU came up with!!

I'll submit a couple to start:

"RIFTS: Now with La Blue Girl -style Tentacle Hentai on the cover!!!"

"RIFTS: Because Cthulu and Satan really aren't as evil as Nxla!!! TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!"

Submit your own Failed Slogans. Make us laugh. And have fun.

Rifts: a rules argument on every page, or your money back!

Rifts: A Megaverse of blowing **** up!

Rifts: Game balance is for whining little crybabies.

Rifts: You can use Every other palladium book you own! kind of...

Rifts: Where magic and technology are equally powerful. As long as they never meet each other...

Rifts: Now with 40% more nazis!

Kalinda wrote:Rifts: a rules argument on every page, or your money back!

Rifts: A Megaverse of blowing **** up!

Rifts: Game balance is for whining little crybabies.

Rifts: You can use Every other palladium book you own! kind of...

Rifts: Where magic and technology are equally powerful. As long as they never meet each other...

Rifts: Now with 40% more nazis!

I'd actually BUY the Book with that Slogan.......

Rules Arguments (NOT while in Game/Campaign with the GM)....yippee!!!!

gadrin wrote:Rifts: With plenty o'Titles that'll never get published ! Coming to a store near you.

Rifts! Show the other gamers who the real power gamer is!

Rifts! Its not D20!

Rifts! Not a Hasbro product!

Rifts! Free six pack of Zoom with proof of purchase!

Rifts: By Steve Jackson

Rifts: There's a movie, we swear!

Rifts: GURPS without the Point-Based System

Rifts: All Your Base Are Belong to Us

Rifts: There is no Power Creep in Rifts, not no never (from our friend, the Iraqi Public Information Minister)

Rifts: If you don't like it, it ain't broken

Rifts: They Set Us Up the Bomb (also suggested for After the Bomb Second Edition)

Rifts: New and Improved Second Edition coming soon, now with Giga-Damage!

Rifts: You aren't in Kansas anymore

Rifts: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha....

Rifts: Part Beyond the Supernatural, Part Heroes Unlimited, All Confusing

Rifts: Now with thicker books for better Rules Lawyer bashing (thanks to Maryann for this slogan regarding the RGMG)

Rifts: Like a fine wine, it only gets better with time

Riffs: Let me check my notes

and last but not least...

Rifts:

Rifts: the only game you should play drunk!

Rifts: Becuase DnD sucks!

Rifts: Because your House Rules are too simple.

Rifts: because life, like games should never be simple!

Rifts: Where ANYTHING can have MEGA-DAMAGE!!

Rifts: Home of the original MUNCHKIN!!

We keep thinking about impossibly unballanced characters, because we want you to buy a Rifts book.

Jesterzzn wrote:Rifts: By Steve Jackson

What the frack is THAT all about???

STILL, it seems funny somehow.....even if I don't understand the reason why......

Kuseru Satsujin wrote:Rifts: There's a movie, we swear!

Rifts: GURPS without the Point-Based System

Rifts: All Your Base Are Belong to Us

Rifts: There is no Power Creep in Rifts, not no never (from our friend, the Iraqi Public Information Minister)

Rifts: If you don't like it, it ain't broken

Rifts: They Set Us Up the Bomb (also suggested for After the Bomb Second Edition)

Rifts: New and Improved Second Edition coming soon, now with Giga-Damage!

Rifts: You aren't in Kansas anymore

Rifts: You have no chance to survive make your time. Ha ha ha ha....

Rifts: Part Beyond the Supernatural, Part Heroes Unlimited, All Confusing

Rifts: Now with thicker books for better Rules Lawyer bashing (thanks to Maryann for this slogan regarding the RGMG)

Rifts: Like a fine wine, it only gets better with time

Riffs: Let me check my notes

and last but not least...

Rifts:

Thrall wrote:RIFTS: When self-loathing isn't enough

RIFTS: For your not-so-fresh days

RIFTS: Strong enough for a GM, but munchkin based for a player

gadrin wrote:

Aequitas wrote:Rifts: Once you get past the floopers, MD Kangaroos, and the narrator that acts like Grandma, it's all downhill

LMAO!

Rifts: Tattooed Freaks that shoot Lasers out of their eyes, now that's a player character!

Rifts: This book has weapons that do more damage than the previous ones.

I'm sorry I didn't see this one sooner, Gadrin.

DAMNED funny

BTW, you should make that a disclaimer rather than an Adevertising Slogan......

rellik wrote:Rifts: 'Cause its not an RPG without Giant Robots AND Magic...

That would cause me to buy the book.

New!! Rifts Main Book with Bonus:

Full Size Coalition Officer Uniform!!!

Just attach the Included Inverted Ancient Crosses where indicated, put on the knee-high Boots, and you're ready for a night on the town in Harlem!!!!!

(sorry, no Refunds, please)

Rifts: Who else could make Giga-Damage seem plausible?

Rifts: Powergamers, meet C.J. Carella

Rfits: Damn those Ferkelbergers!

The White Rabbit wrote:

Jesterzzn wrote:Rifts: Becuase DnD sucks!

lol Agreed.......

Rifts: At least its not DnD

Rifts: Because all the other five letter words were taken

Rifts: Where even a Guy who can bench 300 pounds in real life is reduced to a pile of ash and a blood smear by a 6 year old... lousey hair trigger

Rifts: Now with 50% more less

Rifts: D&D meets cyberpunk oh noos!

Rifts: Really, Inconvenient Fabrication of Tautological Systemology!

Rifts: Really, it doesn't follow Physics.

Rifts: Don't Ask us to make Sense, Damn it.


Rifts: Really It's Not Anime, Trust Us(tm).

Rifts: We Solemnly Swear We Did not get all of our ideas from Anime.

Rifts: We Love Nazis, So Can You.

Rifts: We shot the Sheriff, And Blew out the whole stinking town.

Rifts: the only game where people Read about Giga Damage and had to stop and think "they might not be joking..."

Maybe somebody has said this one, but...

"Rifts: If You Don't Like It, Change It (But Keep Buying Our Books!)"

Rifts: An impossible vision of the future... or is it?

Rifts: When else would you drink 5 gallons of Mt. Dew?

Rifts: When it absolutely, positively, has to be ambiguous overnight.

Rifts: Helping geeks score since 1989!

Mack wrote:Rifts: Helping geeks score since 1989!

Actually, that would be 1990.

Rifts: Explore the thingyverse.

Rifts: Now with Lime.

Rifts: An RPG for players with taste.

Rifts: Bite me.

Rifts: Produced by the people who brought you Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the RPG.

Rifts: Atkins approved.

Rifts: Bam!

Rifts: It's open to interpretation.

Rifts: Where you can get mutant crabs.

Rifts: The Dimensioning

Rifts: Nipples you can milk.

When you read your new copy of Rifts, you will be so excited your nipples could cut glass.

Rifts: Cut and Paste is way better than writing.

Rifts: Cutting the Gordian knot never seemed like a better idea.

Rifts: Keep buying the books, and we'll keep the rules confusing.

Rifts: Your first session will be devoted to house rules.

Rex wrote:Rifts: Cut and Paste is way better than writing.

Rifts: Cutting the Gordian knot never seemed like a better idea.

Rifts: Keep buying the books, and we'll keep the rules confusing.

Rifts: Your first session will be devoted to house rules.

...dude....I declare that awsome

Rex wrote:Rifts: Cut and Paste is way better than writing.

Rifts: Cutting the Gordian knot never seemed like a better idea.

Rifts: Keep buying the books, and we'll keep the rules confusing.

Rifts: Your first session will be devoted to house rules.

cornholioprime wrote:

Jesterzzn wrote:Rifts: By Steve Jackson

What the frack is THAT all about???

STILL, it seems funny somehow.....even if I don't understand the reason why......

Believe it or not, there was actually a rumor going around that there was no 'Kevin Siembieda', that Maryann was the real author of Rifts, HU, Robotech, etc. the rumor was that she talked Steve Jackson into posing as the fictional 'KS' to help her break into the 'male dominated' world of RPG design.

Truth is stranger then fiction because fiction has to make sense...

Rifts: Hundreds of character to choose from, and a million ways to kill them.

Rifts: Dogboy, man best friend, a mage's worst enemy.

Rifts: Plagues, Death and War, find them all here.

Rifts: Just when you figure it out, you find more conflicting rules.

Rifts: Still waiting for the Chi-Town sourcebook...

Munchkinsim: It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

Rifts: Taking power creep seriously.

Rifts: No Chi-Town sourcebook, or your money back!

Rifts- Now with World Book Timbukto!

Rifts- Who cares about North America anyways...

Rifts- Where men in robots are GODS and the panthenons are running!

Rifts- Payback for all those times a dragon gave you problems in DnD

Rifts- You could play a mage but why?

Rifts: It's not just for GURPS anymore.

Rifts: Building Muscle Mass on Gaming Geeks since 2000! (after carting all those books to each game)

Rifts: What book were we working on again?

Rifts: Editing? We don't need no stinking Editing!

Rifts: The weakest deities this side of the Apocalypse

Rifts: The game where everybody knows YOUR name

Rifts: Archie III is your friend, and if you don't believe me, you're a commie mutant traitor

Rifts: Post-Apocalyptic to Super Societies in three books or your money back!

Rifts: Making Tolkeen look worse at war than the French!

Rifts: With Mexican Vampires bringing new meaning to the words "Illegal Alien"

Rifts: Because 50 foot tall alien Mega-Damage beings weren't enough

Rifts: We Came, We Saw, We Wrote the Books

Rifts: One Nation, under...no, wait, make that Two Nations...no, wait, make that Four Nations...no, wait, make that Eight Nations...no, wait...

Rifts: For when Darth Vader makes the Dark Side look nice

Rifts: In 101 P.A. a crack commando unit was sent to prison by the Coalition for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Chi-Town underground. Today, still wanted by the Coalition, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Rifts: Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."


Oops, almost forgot...

Rifts: ...and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling Rules Lawyers

Subjugator wrote:Rifts: Still waiting for the Chi-Town sourcebook...

Munchkinsim: It's not just a job, it's an adventure!

Rifts: Taking power creep seriously.

Rifts: No Chi-Town sourcebook, or your money back!

True dat!!!

Kuseru Satsujin wrote:Rifts: It's not just for GURPS anymore.

Rifts: Building Muscle Mass on Gaming Geeks since 2000! (after carting all those books to each game)

Rifts: What book were we working on again?

Rifts: Editing? We don't need no stinking Editing!

Rifts: The weakest deities this side of the Apocalypse

Rifts: The game where everybody knows YOUR name

Rifts: Archie III is your friend, and if you don't believe me, you're a commie mutant traitor

Rifts: Post-Apocalyptic to Super Societies in three books or your money back!

Rifts: Making Tolkeen look worse at war than the French!

Rifts: With Mexican Vampires bringing new meaning to the words "Illegal Alien"

Rifts: Because 50 foot tall alien Mega-Damage beings weren't enough

Rifts: We Came, We Saw, We Wrote the Books

Rifts: One Nation, under...no, wait, make that Two Nations...no, wait, make that Four Nations...no, wait, make that Eight Nations...no, wait...

Rifts: For when Darth Vader makes the Dark Side look nice

Rifts: In 101 P.A. a crack commando unit was sent to prison by the Coalition for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Chi-Town underground. Today, still wanted by the Coalition, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Rifts: Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."


Oops, almost forgot...

Rifts: ...and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling Rules Lawyers

and you wonder they don't go to US for advertising....?

Nekira Sudacne wrote:Rifts: the only game where people Read about Giga Damage and had to stop and think "they might not be joking..."

True.

Scary, but true......

Kuseru Satsujin wrote:Rifts: What book were we working on again?

Rifts: Archie III is your friend, and if you don't believe me, you're a commie mutant traitor

Rifts: In 101 P.A. a crack commando unit was sent to prison by the Coalition for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Chi-Town underground. Today, still wanted by the Coalition, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Rifts: ...and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling Rules Lawyers

Rolling Bear wrote:Rifts: Chicks dig it.

This one is still my favorite. And in that vein...

Rifts: If you can't get laid in real life...

Rifts: Where you can teleport into vehicles.

Rifts: Fun with names like Splynncryth.

Rifts: Reprinting text from earlier books for your convienence.

Communist Russia Rifts: Where the megaverse explores you!

Rifts: Soon to be a movie that won't leave you suicidal like some other movies based off RPGs.

Rifts: Not made by Ang Lee.

MrTwist wrote:Rifts: Where you can teleport into vehicles.

Rifts: Fun with names like Splynncryth.

Rifts: Reprinting text from earlier books for your convienence.

Communist Russia Rifts: Where the megaverse explores you!

Rifts: Soon to be a movie that won't leave you suicidal like some other movies based off RPGs.

Rifts: Not made by Ang Lee.

Cut and Paste Editing????

They DO that here????

Crazy for Juicers wrote:Rifts: Users don’t use drugs…unless you’re a Juicer.

Rifts: It’s Megaversalicious!!!

Rifts: Now with added SPAM!

Rifts: Warning! The consumption of this product may be detrimental to your metal health.

Rifts: More MDC than you can throw a stick at.

Rifts: We got more acronyms than anyone else!

Rifts: Because ONE universe just isn’t enough

Rifts: A nice way to spend time in those rainy weekends you got nothing to do.

Rifts: Abandon all hope ye who enter…

Rifts: The only RPG with single-word alignments.

Rifts: Uncle Prosek wants YOU to fight for the Coalition States!

Rifts: You’ve seen the movie, now play the game….wait isn’t it the other way around?

Rifts: Keep on Powergaming!

Rifts: batteries not included (or dice…or character sheets)

Rifts: Come and relax in our high ambient P.P.E. environment.

Rifts: Because hardcover is for wimps.

You got Rift?

Rifts: It’s 8.30 PM. Do you know where you Alien Intelligence is?

[song] "...RIFTS, the R.P.G.......

It's Mega-vers-alicious....!" [/song]

Rifts: Because the games designer uses his own rules set.

Rifts: I can't believe it's not d20!

Rifts : Thanks for all the megafauna.

Rifts : Just when you thought it was safe to enter the Megaverse.

Rifts: Because it is a universal system. Honest!

Rifts : We'll seperate the big manuscripts into three books, and only release one.

Rifts : Jipping off authors one at a time.

Rifts : But wait, there's more (worldbooks)!

Rifts : We came, we saw, we have to buy more books to get an rule admentment!?!

Rifs : We refuse to use the latest technology when we edit our books (it's faster and easier, honest!).

Rifts : Just because out book features technology, doesn't mean we have to use it too (and we don't use magic either!!).

Rifts : Like your stuff, but we'll rewrite it anyway and not put your name to it.

Rifts : Because we can!

Rifts : In a can!

Rifts : What do you mean, release date?

Rifts : Damage caps (because everything has to use the same damage formula).

Rifts : Your cardboard boxes will be stronger!!

Rifts : Resistance is useless!

Rifts : You will be assimulated!

Rifts : Exterminate! Exterminate!! Exterminate!!!

Rifts : Stronger than a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Rifts : MDC Gaffa Tape. No other game uses it!!

Rifts : Green D-bees in SPAM!

CyCo wrote:
Rifts : Resistance is useless!

Rifts : Stronger than a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Rifts: It's like a brick to your head

Rifts...because sometimes you want your Ordinary, Armored Soldiers to have MORE M.D.C. than the Armored Carrier they're riding around in for protection.......

cornholioprime wrote:Rifts...because sometimes you want your Ordinary, Armored Soldiers to have MORE M.D.C. than the Armored Carrier they're riding around in for protection.......

Nice.