House Hawkwood - 1st Draft

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Shawn Merrow
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Comment: For the glory of Zeon and Zerebus, Sieg Zeon!

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Unread post by Shawn Merrow »

Nice work on the house. Should submit it to the Rifter when your fully done with it.
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Shawn Merrow
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Comment: For the glory of Zeon and Zerebus, Sieg Zeon!

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Unread post by Shawn Merrow »

Winter wrote:
Shawn Merrow wrote:Nice work on the house. Should submit it to the Rifter when your fully done with it.


Thanks for the vote of confidence, but do you think it would be good enough for consideration in a Rifter, I've seen some of the material they publish and Its' pretty good.


Yes, I think it would be good enough for the Rifter. Just keep expanding it. Some info on the main NPC would be nice.
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Spinachcat
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Unread post by Spinachcat »

Interesting stuff - keep going! If you are going to send it to the Rifter, I recommend that you change the name of the house. House Hawkwood is the name of the main noble house in the Fading Suns rpg and featured heavily in their video game. In fact, House Mountain Hawk would be more appropriate considering their location.
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Aramanthus
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Unread post by Aramanthus »

It is a very cool start! Please keep filling in the details. I agree it would make an great Rifter article!
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE
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Spinachcat
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Unread post by Spinachcat »

Here's my recommendation on proper noun issues. When you have a cool proper noun, do a google search. If nothing comes up where your proper noun is used in the same context, then bam, you're good. Otherwise, consider how you can modify the proper noun.
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taalismn
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Unread post by taalismn »

quite extensive on the first read-thru! :D
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------
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Aramanthus
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Unread post by Aramanthus »

Also don't use "Hawkwind" it is a music group out of England. :D We do want new material and yours looks very promising!
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE
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