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In the shadow of GM catch phrases i want to start one that has some of the funny things your players have said at the right moment in the right context:

My buddie nick who was playing a jucier at the time keep getting called to do "good things" so he anounced "HEY I ONLY HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR ONE GOOD DEED"

perfect for a jucier to say

Borg one liner:I'm not you tool

Couple of the players were scouting out a CS encampment. When descovered by a patrol, were asked what they were doing one of the players had his character point at another's. Who had on the old syle armour and shouted.

"He's my prisoner and he just stole my armour!"

Naturally they were immedialy shot upon.

I was GMing a Rifts campaign, with alien mutants being the majority of the group. One player had a character with stretching and invulnerability. During a fire-fight with TW cyborgs, his clothes were destroyed, leaving him butt-naked. The guy actually had the temerity to ask me "What do I have to roll to winkie-whip the cyborg?" I told him a natural 20, just playing along. He spent an action lengthening his member, rolled and got a natural 20! After defeating the cyborg (the last one standing), he looked to his buddy and said, I kid you not, "Sometimes it pays to be a big dick."! We had to stop for half an hour from laughing so hard!

in my palladium fantasy campaign the group has been involved in numerous local disturbances in the capital city. they stopped a slave riot, broke up an evil cult, have been targeted by assassins within city limits (with civilian casualties) as well as getting in the way of some crooked politicians. as a group they basically accepted responsibility for a lot of it and were not surprised when the king (who had previously been quite nice to them in regard to stopping the riots) summoned them after a particularly bloody in-town fight. the king wasnt so impressed this time and basically gave the group a verbal beating (this was fun as gm) and told them to not come back to town until 'all the problems were gone'. meaning, find out who is sending the assassins etc etc. it seemed reasonable to the majority of the group and with their heads down, they left the kings court and prepared to leave town.

on the way out the cocky, ignorant, self serving elven warlock (my girlfriend) mutters "does the king know who hes messing with here, seriously..."

Head hunter pricked by a needle when jumping into a pile of trash bags-"@#$% this I'm not getting AIDs"-and blew off his own leg with an MD pistol

Jucier when questioning why the CS would administer the promethius treatment one jucier said-"Aww come on its the Coalition their just doing it out of th goodness of thier hearts"

Psi-Stalker using a neural mace on a T'zee who keeps making his save and fighting back.

"Don't <frak> with me, I'm a serial killer!"

A Palladium Fantasy character who ended up on Heros earth

PF guy: "Why is everyone so mad? I killed the bad guys, thats what we do!"

HU guy: "Yeah, thats called mass murder, and that would be illegal."

PF guy: "What kinda crazy law is that!"

The player did a great job of playing the differances between the respective laws of differant worlds.

In one of the few times I got to play Rifts, I was joining a campaign in progress and the GM allowed me to bring in an old NPC Head Hunter of mine (he looked it over before hand), he said it looked good except for a possible alignment conflict with the existing party.

Anyway I meet the rest of the group, introductions are made and we proceed to the mission, well it goes kind of rough at first, we get pinned down by the enemy who is using civilians to reduce the groups fire power to minimum.

ME (firing a TX-30 on burst): What the hells wrong with you guys, shoot BACK!"

Other PC: "We cant risk shooting the innocent people!"

ME: "Thats the problem?"

Another PC: "Uh, yeah!"

ME: "Hold on" *passes a note to the GM, then shoots a few times, getting glares from the other characters as well as being told to stop firing*

ME: "Ok, its safe for you to shoot now."

All other PCs: "WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?"

In my Palladium Fantasy Campaign, my best friend is running a barbarian warrior turned mercenary who has been pretty much adopted by my dwarven mercenary. These two can't go into a tavern without starting a brawl. So... during one such brawl one of the NPC's, a guy I described to my friend as "tall and painfully thin, when this guy swallows a pill, you can watch it go down" rolls a natural twenty on trying to break the barbarians neck! My friend, whose character is physically rather... shall we say... large, falls to the ground. (I gave him a fifty / fifty chance at surviving the break, and rolled poorly for the barbarian.) So now as his uber-powerful barbarian lies dead at the feet of this ninty-eight pound weakling, my friend growls in a very barbarian sounding voice "I'm going to kill that bastard!" After the brawl the other characters were successful in getting him resurrected at the local temple. The barbarian went searching for the man that had killed him, vowing to pay him back. I played it out for about an hour as he searched the city (Shinkasa, in the Western Empires Old Kingdom Frontier) for this guy, finally finding him hiding in a small house at the edge of the city. He breaks in and proceeds to beat the guy senseless. Well, the NPC takes one final, desperate try and saving his life and swings a dining chair at the barbarians head. What do you suppose I rolled? A NATURAL TWENTY! Once again the barbarian suffers a broken neck, (rolled off of a damage chart I use for such occurances) and falls to the ground dead, (based on an almost identical roll to the first time this happened). My friend, who is staring numbly at my dice (half jokingly labeled the "Dice of DOOm") then shifts his gaze to me and says... "I'm going to kill you." He then proceeded to roll up another character.

Barabas wrote::shock:

Hey Nxla,
What did the note say?

And I quote...

"I shoot the hostages"

An old friend of mine was playing a dog boy named Shank, (cant remember the breed), we were following the psychic scent of a supernatural monster who gave us quite a beating before running off. We follow into a known dead end alley but cant see our prey. The dog boy reaches over to the garbage eats a chicken bone (acts it out) and says "sorry nervous eater" I just about pissed myself, as did the rest of the party.