How would you kill Prosek?

[Tags]

Not that it would be possible... However Death 1000 cuts would most satisfying.

With one of my characters, I thought It would be amusing to get cloe to him through his son, arrange his death and eventualy his sons death as well.

[dark brandon]

I was talking with RAVENSBLOOD1369 and a question came up that would influence the security of Chi-town, how many attempts have there been on Prosek's life?

Now I'm not saying this is an easy task, but I would like some player input and maybe even an official Palladium answer. So please post character stories involving an assassination attempt, or just ideas you have about it. Just because he's well protected will not stop people from trying.

There has only been 1 possible attempt on his life. It was in siege on tolkeen where they had sent in an Auto-G to try and userp or just kill him (I forget). Either way it was unsucessful.

[Crazy Lou]

I was talking with RAVENSBLOOD1369 and a question came up that would influence the security of Chi-town, how many attempts have there been on Prosek's life?

Now I'm not saying this is an easy task, but I would like some player input and maybe even an official Palladium answer. So please post character stories involving an assassination attempt, or just ideas you have about it. Just because he's well protected will not stop people from trying.

There has only been 1 possible attempt on his life. It was in siege on tolkeen where they had sent in an Auto-G to try and userp or just kill him (I forget). Either way it was unsucessful.

Auto-G????

[NMI]

Yeah but any proseck seen outside of Chi-Town fortress is likely to be a bot/borg in disguise. or a brainwashed auto-g.

[Braden Campbell]

What? A simple body double is too good for the CS?

Look... if the United States army, with all of its available resources, can't liquidate Osama Bin Ladin, then no Player Character is going to kill Emperor Prosek, who for all we know, never comes out of his personal Furhurbunker far beneath Chi-Town.

[sennin]

Auto-G????

Funny, i was just about to start a thread to ask what this is, might as well ask it here now. I just noticed the Auto-G mentioned in the old main book on page 51 as one of the groups the coalition encourages their soldiers to abuse (savagery was the term in the book). I figured it was something that was supposed to be edited out but now one tries to assassinate Prosek in the Tolkeen campaign? Who are these people?

As for Prosek, I cant guess at the best weapon, but i figure he's surrounded by so many Dog Boys a deep undercover agent working his way up the ranks of the coalition military would have a better chance to get to him than any alien or supernatural assassin.

I never realized that they were mentioned in the old main book. Auto-Gs are are type of human mutant shape changer that copy people down to a genetic level. All they need to do this is a bit of genetic material from someone of that race. They can also make an identical copy of a person with a bit more effort. IIRC, they are statted out in one of the SoT books. They are definitely in Merc Ops under one of the most wanted entries.

[Nekira Sudacne]

4d transformation to see where he is. Drop off a 50 megaton nuke next to where he's standing with a half second time delay and 4d teleport out.

[Mack]

Psi-Ghost with a fusion block, for the win!

[Crazy Lou]

4d transformation to see where he is. Drop off a 50 megaton nuke next to where he's standing with a half second time delay and 4d teleport out.

The trick is getting the duration to last long enough to find him w/o perm ward.

[Pepsi Jedi]

It should be noted in the write up on that auto G ATTEMPT it was pointed out that the CS isn't just asleep at the wheel. They know such things are out there and have safe guards in place for the sorts of things being proposed here. If they've got enough psychics and protection around to catch somone that could make an exact copy all the way down to the genetic level, you can bet your anus they have safe guards for "psy ghosts with a fusion block" ect ect ect.

Now I know ___NOTHING___ is 100.0000000000000000000000000000000% fail safe... but, that being said, the "Robots or Cosmeticly altered body doubles with inturnal radios to transmit what they see and hear to a VR helment though 1038487097109785924091234 relay stations to hide the real physical location of the REAL prosek (( out in CA of course where noone ever goes living on the beach and surfin'. hehe joke but... hey)), wher ein he gives prompts on what to say and do, via that inturnal radio in the stand in's head during any "public" event....

Is probably alot more plauseable than anyone "we" ever play getting with in range to even hear he's in the building even after a 20 year incertion and climbing though the ranks.

In short, nothing shy of a book being published by Kev has much likely hood of actually getting to Karl

But.. it's your game, mistakes happen, if you WANT to totally and radically depart from the cannon books, that's probably the 'easiest' way to do it.

[Rallan]

4d transformation to see where he is. Drop off a 50 megaton nuke next to where he's standing with a half second time delay and 4d teleport out.

Glad someone's thinking the same way I do. All the Dog Boys and Psi-Stalkers and secretly hired master psychic bodyguards in the world aren't gonna detect a Temporal Raider assassin until after he's popped back into 3-dimensional space and dropped off a package.

Failing that, just drop a big enough asteroid on Chi-Town. He might have enough warning to get the hell out of dodge, but even if he's out of town at the time his career as North America's most badass dictator will pretty much end the moment his heartland is turned into an eighty mile crater.

[Marrowlight]

I'd kill him with kindness.

Or a Mass Driver. I could snag all of Chi-Town in the process with that.

[Marrowlight]

4d transformation to see where he is. Drop off a 50 megaton nuke next to where he's standing with a half second time delay and 4d teleport out.

Glad someone's thinking the same way I do. All the Dog Boys and Psi-Stalkers and secretly hired master psychic bodyguards in the world aren't gonna detect a Temporal Raider assassin until after he's popped back into 3-dimensional space and dropped off a package.

Failing that, just drop a big enough asteroid on Chi-Town. He might have enough warning to get the hell out of dodge, but even if he's out of town at the time his career as North America's most badass dictator will pretty much end the moment his heartland is turned into an eighty mile crater.

Now all you need is to know where he is, a 50 MT nuke, or access to a mass driver capable of slinging a large asteroid with precision through the atmosphere.

If you have access to that, killing Prosek is waaaaaaaaaaaay low on your list of priorities.

If your priority is destabilization, are there really a lot of big name empires with leaders as potentially squishy as prosek? Atlantis and the Phoenix Empire would need some major juice to crack, and the NGR we don't really know enough about.

[Marrowlight]

If you can sling an asteroid with precision that has the power to crater a fortress city, the Phoenix Empire is NOT a tough nut to crack.

I meant Neki's idea, not mine. I know my guys have much better things to do than screw with the CS.

[dark brandon]

This is one of the benifits of CS. They are big enough to cause problem in an area, but really, when you get powerful enough to challenge them, you probably won't.

For example a temporal raider. Why would he care about CS or who runs it? This is a person who can teleport through dimentions, so why would he give two flags about prosek? At best you could probably pay the raider to do it, but it probably wouldn't be cheap.

Beyond that, depending on how one views CS, CS may/may not have defences against it. One of my things is that CS has magical protection because it was established before their anti-magic views, but in order to keep the psi-stalkers that lived in CS from going crazy, these anti-magic defences are dormant until triggered.

Honestly, if you know and have the money to hire a raider, it would be just as easy to find a diabolist, and have them create a circle to summon pawn. Bring the war home, as it were, as opposed to fighting him where he is strongest.

[Fyrpower]

Just have him annoy some divine being and get him cursed with a wasting disease or something. Those powers in dragons and gods should do the trick nicely.

[batlchip]

I say get in the sewers and open a rift to the Mechanoids home world.Its the only way to be sure

[Marrowlight]

even if you succeed in killing K.P. you would only find out he was a clone all along.

We're Sorry, Our Prosek is in another City-Fortress type deal eh?

[Crazy Lou]

even if you succeed in killing K.P. you would only find out he was a clone all along.

We're Sorry, Our Prosek is in another City-Fortress type deal eh?

That's what I thought of too!

Just have him annoy some divine being and get him cursed with a wasting disease or something. Those powers in dragons and gods should do the trick nicely.

That's pretty close to what I was going to say in response to Pepsi Jedi. I was also thinking that in response to the question of how to find prosek before you use 4-D to kill him, you could have a huge campaign to gain the favor of Zurvan, and ask him since he knows everything.

I also think that the mass driver or the SDF's main gun would work wonders (though that's not nearly as easy...)

[Exiled_one]

Flooper in the Bathroom, with a candlestick (or weapon of choice...)

everything else just isn't appropriate for Rifts...

[dragon_blaze_99]

Ride up to chi town and stand their screaming challenge until he comes out and fights me ( think Troy) or the CS open fire which ever comes first

[Marrowlight]

Ride up to chi town and stand their screaming challenge until he comes out and fights me ( think Troy) or the CS open fire which ever comes first

Oh! Oh! I know which one will come first!

Think Faramir's charge in RoTK: Da Movie

[Crazy Lou]

Well, I just found out today that unlike the original SB1 states, that dear old Karl P. is actually a diehard human supremacist and hates anything that damages humanity's purity (originally he didn't care much and just used that as a rallying point for his rise to power). Well SB1 also said he wore lightweight 100MDC armor everywhere including public addresses. Well, even supposing he wore a helmet also (probably would) to those speeches and even if it alone had say... 80 MDC (which is absurd), well that's nothing that a couple hits from that stupidly powerful Naruni Sniper Shoulder Cannon thing. If you just gave one to everyone in your group, and had them all shoot him at the same time (you wouldn't even really need a head shot then but you probably ought to go for one in case the CS magically has cloning tech too...) then he ought to be toast -- after all, they have a really high range, and I don't think that the CS would be able to cover every possible sniping position in a radius that large. Or did CWC or SB1:R change things so he now never ever goes out in public at all?

Another option: take the magical defenses Tolkeen had versus long range attacks (little dimensional portal opens to swallow the assault as I understand it, I don't have SoT, but that's how I understand it to have worked from what I've gathered) and turn that idea around and use it for attacks instead. So you shoot a long range multi-warhead nuclear missile into a dimensional portal and have it come out another one right in front of Prosek while he's at a public speech. Hopefully his son and flunkies and entorage (sp?) are around him too (or at least part of them).

[asajosh]

Well he may not be as well protected as he thinks. Characters who can physically travel to the Astral Realm (or the DreamStream if you bring in Nightbane) can poke around Chi-Town pretty easily till they find him. Then plant the fusion blocks.

[asajosh]

what about one of those changelings like Crow has? i'm not sure how they stack up to an auto-g since i'm only a dabbler in rifts. but it seems a bit plausible

In D-Bees of NA, there is a story about a group of assassins who use an Auto-G on Prosek (in the RCC description). The CS checks for them now, but their screening process isn't 100%. Good call tho, blasting Prosek was my first thought when I started reading about Auto-Gs.

[sennin]

Here are a few ideas:

Knight of the 13th Hour + fusion blocks

Psi-ghost + fusion blocks

Superbeing with intangibility and invisibility (or cloaking) + fusion blocks

A mage with swap places + fusion blocks (arm fusion blocks, cast spell, affix blocks to our dear Karl, cancel spell, watch boom)

fusion blocks + fusion blocks

Teleport: Lesser + fusion blocks

Star Ghost fighter (good luck getting your hands on one)

or my favorite...

Get a high level mage (lvl 10+) that knows mystic portal and soul twist and who is a minor psychic with the powers of mask ppe and mask isp and psionics. During a speech, have the mage use the psionics to move about without alerting the psihounds or psistalkers. Get to a nice, secure spot about 1000' away. Open a mystic portal that leads to within 100' of Mr. Prosek. Cast soul twist through the portal. It may not kill him, but it will make his life miserable.

[dark brandon]

Here are a few ideas:

Knight of the 13th Hour + fusion blocks

Psi-ghost + fusion blocks

Superbeing with intangibility and invisibility (or cloaking) + fusion blocks

A mage with swap places + fusion blocks (arm fusion blocks, cast spell, affix blocks to our dear Karl, cancel spell, watch boom)

fusion blocks + fusion blocks

Teleport: Lesser + fusion blocks

Star Ghost fighter (good luck getting your hands on one)

or my favorite...

Get a high level mage (lvl 10+) that knows mystic portal and soul twist and who is a minor psychic with the powers of mask ppe and mask isp and psionics. During a speech, have the mage use the psionics to move about without alerting the psihounds or psistalkers. Get to a nice, secure spot about 1000' away. Open a mystic portal that leads to within 100' of Mr. Prosek. Cast soul twist through the portal. It may not kill him, but it will make his life miserable.

Why would a psi-ghost or anyone with intangibility or invisiblity pose any real threat?

Psionics still affect psi-ghosts, as does gas.

[asajosh]

Psionics still affect psi-ghosts, as does gas.

Gas (physical) does not effect intangible targets.

[Mech-Viper Prime]

CS has Psi Corps and the Psi Corps have nega-psychics and nullifiers in it and odds are sometime of minority report psychic like system in place to protect Prosek. odds are any attack will fail, if the being aren't killed on the spot , the CS M.I. will take them away for questions and torture, then followed by a very public execution.

so no super powers or psionics or magic will work at this

[dark brandon]

Psionics still affect psi-ghosts, as does gas.

Gas (physical) does not effect intangible targets.

No?

Heroes unlimited 2nd ed "Gas and smoke attacks are particularly effective, as the gaseous substance passes right through and into the blood stream, doing full damage/effect".

Psyscape under psi-ghost says the exact same thing. Pg 63.

[asajosh]

Psionics still affect psi-ghosts, as does gas.

Gas (physical) does not effect intangible targets.

No?

Heroes unlimited 2nd ed "Gas and smoke attacks are particularly effective, as the gaseous substance passes right through and into the blood stream, doing full damage/effect".

Psyscape under psi-ghost says the exact same thing. Pg 63.

Okies i bow down to canon, but I'll grumble internally if it ever comes up in a game of mine. Maddness...

[sennin]

I would say that the super being with both intangibility and invisibility would be a threat. They have no detection system for super powers. It might actually be better to go with cloaking instead of invisibility, that way you can very easily get past any technological sensors. You just have to be sneakier to get around detection by the naked eye.

As far as gas goes, if they don't know you are there, they won't know that they need to gas you.

[sennin]

I would say that the super being with both intangibility and invisibility would be a threat. They have no detection system for super powers. It might actually be better to go with cloaking instead of invisibility, that way you can very easily get past any technological sensors. You just have to be sneakier to get around detection by the naked eye.

As far as gas goes, if they don't know you are there, they won't know that they need to gas you.

Except invisibility doesn't protect you from psychics and can't intangibility still be hurt by energy weapons?

An intangible character can only be hurt by electricity, even that is just half damage. Psychics will be hard pressed to detect you accurately enough to really make a difference because you would not be a creature of magic or supernatural being. As long as you do not attack the guards, sixth sense will not go off until it is too late.

Even if they detect the fusion block after it materializes, you will still have accomplished one thing:

You would have thrown off the Emperor's Groove. His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior.

And the when that happens, they just throw you out the window.

[Marrowlight]

both, maybe, depending the powers for the Hero, yes?

[sennin]

I would say that the super being with both intangibility and invisibility would be a threat. They have no detection system for super powers. It might actually be better to go with cloaking instead of invisibility, that way you can very easily get past any technological sensors. You just have to be sneakier to get around detection by the naked eye.

As far as gas goes, if they don't know you are there, they won't know that they need to gas you.

Except invisibility doesn't protect you from psychics and can't intangibility still be hurt by energy weapons?

An intangible character can only be hurt by electricity, even that is just half damage. Psychics will be hard pressed to detect you accurately enough to really make a difference because you would not be a creature of magic or supernatural being. As long as you do not attack the guards, sixth sense will not go off until it is too late.

Even if they detect the fusion block after it materializes, you will still have accomplished one thing:

You would have thrown off the Emperor's Groove. His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior.

And the when that happens, they just throw you out the window.

An intangible character can still be hurt by psionic attacks though.

Still, I need to find my Conversion Book. Can't remember if it was martial artists or supers who suddenly became supernatural creatures when they came to Rifts Earth. Think it was martial artists though who had taken the MD skin techniques...so I'm not sure.

I just looked through mine (original cb). I read the whole section under both Heroes Unlimited and N&SS. Neither place specifically states the character turns into a supernatural being. With a couple of the magical power categories, it states that they have supernatural attributes, which can be interpreted as them being supernatural. As far as psionic attacks go, this whole plan depends on stealth. You won't get attacked if you don't get detected. If you want to take it even further, I believe there is a impervious to psionics super power (CB1 states that Rifts super heroes can have 3 major and 2 minor powers).

[sennin]

both, maybe, depending the powers for the Hero, yes?

I'll have to check tomorrow. The one big problem I have with all these attempts is the whole fusion block thing; as if getting one near him is all it takes. I'm sure any number of his bodyguards would just throw themselves on it if they saw it was about to go off. Considering demolitions is a skill that almost every military OCC gets or chooses, I can't imagine his bodyguards not knowing how to shut those things off.

That is easy. Rig the thing with a 3 second delay (any EOD specialist worth his salt can bypass the safety). You will have time to arm it and phase out again. The guards will not have time to disarm it. Hell, the guards probably won't even know it is there until it is too late. Besides, I am not talking about just 1 fusion block, I am talking about as many as you can carry in a satchel and still go intangible (40 lbs) hooked to 1 detinator. BTW I was wrong before - intangible characters can be also be hurt by particle beams and sonic attacks.

[Marrowlight]

both, maybe, depending the powers for the Hero, yes?

I'll have to check tomorrow. The one big problem I have with all these attempts is the whole fusion block thing; as if getting one near him is all it takes. I'm sure any number of his bodyguards would just throw themselves on it if they saw it was about to go off. Considering demolitions is a skill that almost every military OCC gets or chooses, I can't imagine his bodyguards not knowing how to shut those things off.

aren't the detonators on those capable of having a really short time?

[Marrowlight]

both, maybe, depending the powers for the Hero, yes?

I'll have to check tomorrow. The one big problem I have with all these attempts is the whole fusion block thing; as if getting one near him is all it takes. I'm sure any number of his bodyguards would just throw themselves on it if they saw it was about to go off. Considering demolitions is a skill that almost every military OCC gets or chooses, I can't imagine his bodyguards not knowing how to shut those things off.

aren't the detonators on those capable of having a really short time?

No, 30 second minimum as they come. Though I'm sure there's a way around it via Operators or those with high demo skills. There's always a way around something, however.

Huh. Must be crossing it up with the things the Triax Power Armor uses (the Super trooper).

[dark brandon]

An intangible character can only be hurt by electricity, even that is just half damage. Psychics will be hard pressed to detect you accurately enough to really make a difference because you would not be a creature of magic or supernatural being. As long as you do not attack the guards, sixth sense will not go off until it is too late.

6th sense goes off up to 1 minute before the action happens. So, if in 1 minute you're going to do what you want to do, all psychics and then military personel are going to be on edge.

Intangible characters can be hurt by electricity and fire both do damage, granted at a decreased rate, but they still do damage. MD damage. A psi-ghost can only turn 20lbs of material intangible, so, you figure even a plasma rifle doing 30% of it's damage is going to be devistating in someone wearing juicer plate, or Urban warrior. Especially if there's a whole group of them.

Next, even with invisiblity there will be those who can see invisible, as well as thermal optics.

Impervious to psionics only makes it so you no longer have to roll a save vs. psionics, but you can still be affected by them, by things such as mind bolt, or an inverted telekentic force field would work wonders if they can't seem to hurt the psionic character. Just keep it up, and eventually the person inside will run out of air.

[sennin]

An intangible character can only be hurt by electricity, even that is just half damage. Psychics will be hard pressed to detect you accurately enough to really make a difference because you would not be a creature of magic or supernatural being. As long as you do not attack the guards, sixth sense will not go off until it is too late.

6th sense goes off up to 1 minute before the action happens. So, if in 1 minute you're going to do what you want to do, all psychics and then military personel are going to be on edge.

Intangible characters can be hurt by electricity and fire both do damage, granted at a decreased rate, but they still do damage. MD damage. A psi-ghost can only turn 20lbs of material intangible, so, you figure even a plasma rifle doing 30% of it's damage is going to be devistating in someone wearing juicer plate, or Urban warrior. Especially if there's a whole group of them.

Next, even with invisiblity there will be those who can see invisible, as well as thermal optics.

Impervious to psionics only makes it so you no longer have to roll a save vs. psionics, but you can still be affected by them, by things such as mind bolt, or an inverted telekentic force field would work wonders if they can't seem to hurt the psionic character. Just keep it up, and eventually the person inside will run out of air.

I feel the best way is not to use a psi-ghost, but a superbeing with the powers. That way they seem normal to things such as see aura and such. A telekinetic forcefield cannot go into the ground, an intangible character can.

[Rallan]

both, maybe, depending the powers for the Hero, yes?

I'll have to check tomorrow. The one big problem I have with all these attempts is the whole fusion block thing; as if getting one near him is all it takes. I'm sure any number of his bodyguards would just throw themselves on it if they saw it was about to go off. Considering demolitions is a skill that almost every military OCC gets or chooses, I can't imagine his bodyguards not knowing how to shut those things off.

aren't the detonators on those capable of having a really short time?

No, 30 second minimum as they come. Though I'm sure there's a way around it via Operators or those with high demo skills. There's always a way around something, however.

You don't even need that, you just need a stopwatch. Stay astral/intangible/4D for a while, let the timer run almost all the way down, then pop in and out of Karl's bedroom when the thing's only got a few seconds left.

[Rallan]

Right, so if intangibility is out because of psychic characters, that pretty much leaves you with characters who can physically enter and leave the astral plane (like that ectoplasmic thingamijig Mindwerks can make, or several critters from the Nightbane RPG), 4-D transformation (I can almost guaruntee that Karl doesn't have any temporal wizards as bodyguards), or being a twink and using some Dreamstream funkiness from Nightbane.

[sennin]

both, maybe, depending the powers for the Hero, yes?

I'll have to check tomorrow. The one big problem I have with all these attempts is the whole fusion block thing; as if getting one near him is all it takes. I'm sure any number of his bodyguards would just throw themselves on it if they saw it was about to go off. Considering demolitions is a skill that almost every military OCC gets or chooses, I can't imagine his bodyguards not knowing how to shut those things off.

aren't the detonators on those capable of having a really short time?

No, 30 second minimum as they come. Though I'm sure there's a way around it via Operators or those with high demo skills. There's always a way around something, however.

You don't even need that, you just need a stopwatch. Stay astral/intangible/4D for a while, let the timer run almost all the way down, then pop in and out of Karl's bedroom when the thing's only got a few seconds left.

Bringing us back to the whole "how do you find him to kill him?" part of the topic.

That will probably be the hardest part of the whole plan.

[dark brandon]

I feel the best way is not to use a psi-ghost, but a superbeing with the powers. That way they seem normal to things such as see aura and such. A telekinetic forcefield cannot go into the ground, an intangible character can.

See aura would reviel them to be a mutant or aberration with powers.

Also, an astral being can go underground, and generally, an astral being will have other psychic powers to aid him to slow down or stop the being such as telekenitic push to push the intruder into the air to allow the another pychic to place an inverted TK bubble around the intruder.

[sennin]

I feel the best way is not to use a psi-ghost, but a superbeing with the powers. That way they seem normal to things such as see aura and such. A telekinetic forcefield cannot go into the ground, an intangible character can.

See aura would reviel them to be a mutant or aberration with powers.

Also, an astral being can go underground, and generally, an astral being will have other psychic powers to aid him to slow down or stop the being such as telekenitic push to push the intruder into the air to allow the another pychic to place an inverted TK bubble around the intruder.

The only places that I can see constantly using see aura are gates and check points. An intangible character can easily slip past both.

I do also like the astral projection idea. As well as the inverted tk force field.

[The Galactus Kid]

how would I kill Prosek? Using the most lethal weapon available to me...the ability to write canon material. hahahaha

[cornholioprime]

Now I'm not saying this is an easy task, but I would like some player input and maybe even an official Palladium answer. So please post character stories involving an assassination attempt, or just ideas you have about it. Just because he's well protected will not stop people from trying.

Currently, given the means by which he is protected, his top-secret location (not even given to you the Players through God's-eye view), and the unknown nature of Chi-Town's innards (except for that one Vampire in MercTown, and he knows only a little, and he ain't talking)...I would say that it is currently imposible within canon to kill Prosek or even get close to him short of staging an all-out, Atlantis sized attack....and even Splynnie wouldn't likely find it all that easy a thing to do (although Prosek's death would be inevitable in such a scenario).

[Larsen]

I always thought the only sure fire way would be to poison all the food, water, and clothes that enter chi-town. But that way would lead to a lot of unneeded killing and it still might not work. Not to mention just how difficult that would be.


Maybe if there was a new strain of the black plague or something that might work.

[sennin]

how would I kill Prosek? Using the most lethal weapon available to me...the ability to write canon material. hahahaha

Except a certain company president still edits what you write...and Prosek is his golden boy. Even you would get backhanded...HAR!

Alejandro FTW!!!!!

[Marrowlight]

how would I kill Prosek? Using the most lethal weapon available to me...the ability to write canon material. hahahaha

Except a certain company president still edits what you write...and Prosek is his golden boy. Even you would get backhanded...HAR!

Alejandro FTW!!!!!

oh boy, here comes Alejandro the Living Planet!