Your Players Did What?!!

[Astral Pantheon]

What is the worst thing or dumbest thing your players have ever done??

--------------------------------------------------------------------

HU2 Game:

Background 7 Super Heroes (7 Different Magic Rings)-120sdc each and AR14: 1 major and 2 minor (Alien Devices) each ring. One of the Players saw Lord of the Rings on T.V. and had the idea to create a Hero Team Empowered by Rings. The Hero Team called themselves The Seven...(Somedays I wish they would put a little more thought into names). I made the foe a Natural Genius...and a multiple of battles over the months then a few hours ago I ran the following:
*The Aliens that "lost" the rings came back to Earth to get the rings and enslave all humans.
*The Aliens Starship starts destroying towns and sending out their demands--The energy from their ship negates all super power except the 7 rings ...but only one can fly so-------
*The Seven must team up with their Nemesis (Prototype Ship-cloaking techology).
*The Seven and Genius battle the alien Insect race after reaching the ship. The Mission takes the Players through 3 levels of the ship.
The next part is .....
The Powerful Queen only one Left
If the PC flood the ship with energy from the engine it may permanently change the power in each(18% only..I told them that) but would weaken the Queen to 1/10 Hp/SDC (Had Mass Damage Cap..and 8th level).

THIS is where the Players got Dumbest idea Ever:

All Seven Players talked it out and decided to give the all 7 rings to (Dred) their NEMESIS and have him take the rings safely outside the ship then pick the Seven back up again when the Team stops the Queen.

I even played it out...as Dred took each ring with a gleamer in his eyes, "Don't worry I'LL TAKE good care of the ring for you, (Insert Hero Name)."

Yep, all 7 gave over their rings and Dred got out. The Player Without their rings even the weaken Queen Sliced and diced the group...3 died then they radio for Dred to pick they up....Dred a said , "No, thanks I have some rings to play with." Dred flew off.

The Alien ship started to lose power (This is where You think what were the Players thinking)....(Yes, there were escape pods)....As the ship went down I even set a real time timer for 10 minutes and explained the ship would crash when the Buzzer went off. The Player even the Dead Ones "Spirits" took all the time on the radio trying to make Dred return....when the Player had 2 minutes left I had Dred radio back, "Times a Tick'n you better move or I'll be playing with your rings all by Myself, (Insert Laugh)."

The last 2 minutes were spent with The Seven explaining to Dred why he should turn to side of Good....then they all died. Dred said, "Well, the Gnats went Splat and Now, its time for some fun with all my new toys, (Insert laugh)!!!!!!!)

---Ages of players 16 to 30 and as a Group they said it was a cool & they never saw it betrayal coming (Dred was their NEMESIS!!!!!!!!!!)----

--------------------------------------------------------------------
Please, GMs come share the moments with us.

[sasha]

My players are smarter than me.

[Astral Pantheon]

Wow, that's impressively foolish. How did Dred talk them into surrendering the rings?

The Players came up with the idea...Dred didn't have to do anything.

[Astral Pantheon]

Didn't they ever see the Fantastic Four movies?

I did give everyone large EXP Bonus for staying in character....The only thing I came up with was the explaination of one clash with Dred a month ago. He (Dred) saved a child from a buliding falling down (His minions and the Players were fighting..Energy Bolt deflected...hit building...). The reason he saved the child, was self serving, there was a News Team there filming the battle. As you can imagine, Dred is hated by Heroes but the public has a soft spot for the him (Also helps he has a P.B. 20 and Money)

[sasha]

[Astral Pantheon]

Wow. Just wow.

I guess Dark Helmet was right when he said "Evil will always triumph because Good is dumb."

Great quote

So, now Dred-Natural Genius with seven rings grants him:

Control the Void
Metal Manipulation
Earth Possession
Defensive Immunity
Re-channel Kinetic Energy
Force Manipulation
Super Regeneraion

Immune to super power(some)
Impervious to poison and toxins
Extra PP
Impervious Fire and Heat
Impact Resist
Extra Speed
Iron Will
Wingless Flight
Energy Resist
Lightning Reflexs
Impervious to energy and electricity
Nightvision
Toy control
Mental stun

So, what should Dred do now?

[The ineffible GM]

I've had a couple but lets start with:

"Hey guys, the spirit incarnate of all the Earth's elemental energy now trapped in a human form is ignoring us, almost as though we were beneath his notice. We should try and get his attention. Lets run him over with a car."

Needless to say, it got his attention.

[Astral Pantheon]

I've had a couple but lets start with:

"Hey guys, the spirit incarnate of all the Earth's elemental energy now trapped in a human form is ignoring us, almost as though we were beneath his notice. We should try and get his attention. Lets run him over with a car."

Needless to say, it got his attention.

[The Beast]

Wow. Just wow.

I guess Dark Helmet was right when he said "Evil will always triumph because Good is dumb."

Great quote

So, now Dred-Natural Genius with seven rings grants him:

Control the Void
Metal Manipulation
Earth Possession
Defensive Immunity
Re-channel Kinetic Energy
Force Manipulation
Super Regeneraion

Immune to super power(some)
Impervious to poison and toxins
Extra PP
Impervious Fire and Heat
Impact Resist
Extra Speed
Iron Will
Wingless Flight
Energy Resist
Lightning Reflexs
Impervious to energy and electricity
Nightvision
Toy control
Mental stun

So, what should Dred do now?

Well if he can use all the rings at the same time, have your players star out as newbies and use him as the main supervillian. If not, he's a recurring supervillian who's powers keep changing every time they run into him.

[Astral Pantheon]

Wasn't a Palladium game, but it may as well have been.

A space-opera style game (Star-wars), a group of adventurers had tracked down the hideout of a Dark Lord on an uninhabited desert planet. They knew that the hideout was in a long-abandoned city and the makeup of the group was at least 6 troop transports full of troops (about eighty total), at least some with special powers and training.

So...the group of six loads up into a landing craft and heads planetside...the first navigation roll was made to be able to land and avoid detection...and was botched. They foudn this out when a ground to air defense system picked them up and shot missles at them.

Did they turn back? NO, they kept going in the SAME direction they were originally headed. Landing several kilos outside of the city and finding a huge ancient sewer drain that leads straight into the city, they begin to open the boobytrapped grates.

Now, admitedly, one of the player group was an infiltrator...and was feeding the group's possition and activities straight to the Dark Lord...but still.

The group found the boobytrapped grates and intentionaly detonated the charges on them...allerting the main base to "Hey a door was just opened". Traveling down the One way In, One way Out corridor, the troops just above them just barely managed to fail to collapse the tunnel on top of them.

Does the group turn back? NO! they march resolutely onward. Now, when the long one way tunnel reaches the city proper, it begins splitting off indifferent directions. The player group has no real idea which way to go at this point...does the enemy know where they are? YES! Not only because the infiltrator has been keeping tabs on them, but the badguys have had time to line the sewers with cammeras and motion detectors that the group was not looking for at ALL.

And they got pissed when they were ambushed with an overwhelming force. Shots were fired...a duffle bag full of heavy plasma mines was hit at one point...in a confied area...poof...TPK.

Good story

[devillin]

Current Phase World/Robotech campaign. Group has been hiring scientists and top engineers to help their new homeworld get its war craft development up and running. They are told about a planet that is producing vehicles very similar to the REF's stuff, so they figure they can hire an engineer or two there. In their background check they find out that the planet is recently populated (last 100 years or so) and is run by a monarchy under Queen Regina (a 7 foot tall lady with red hair who wears a gown with 3in1 motifs). They go to the planet through the D-Gates in Center in their Cyclone armors. When they go to meet the prospectives at an awards ceremony, they discover that they are being followed by the planetary security agency. During the course of the intro to the gala they find out that a member of the Royal Family will be showing up. During the course of the gala, through some really good ettiquette rolls, they do pick up that the RFM and the scientist getting the award are cousins and that both of them are "Flower Eaters". So when they meet up with the two prospectives they ask some further questions about the Royal Family, because at this point, both players have a really good idea as to what is going on. So they go to interview the third scientist, who it turns out was just given the award for his research, and he shows up, with his cousin and her bodyguards. At this point, they're going, "Oh S#!+ !!" And are trying to get out of the room, and hopefully off the planet without starting a war. She asks them one question, "Where did you get those Cyclones from?" Now at this point, I figured they would either tell the truth, or tell a lie, either option would have got them out of the room in one piece. The trick was, they had to say something. They tried to run. At which point, she stops them and demands an answer to her very simple question. One of the players tried to use Domination on her, which failed the first time and she didn't notice. She asked again, and he tried it again. He failed again, but this time she did notice and got pissed. Realizing the gig was up, the other player flash blinds everyone in the room, grabs the other guy, and bashes through a wall to get out of the room. As her turn was next, she tried to encase him in one of those Invid Stasis bubbles. Failed the first time, succeeded the second. The other guy tries to free him by cutting the bubble open, but doesn't do enough damage. Her turns comes around again, and she encases him as well. At this point, both of the two players who were there are in stasis with no way of them getting out.

I'm totally blown, since this was not how I imagined this going. What makes this especially ironic is that my players have been asking for adventures where things could be solved without fighting their way out. The first one I give them that could be solved by lying or telling the truth, and they take neither option and get themselves in a TPK situation.

[bigbobsr6000]

One of my players was playing a dwarf with two war dogs. They were waiting entry to a large walled city in the crowd outside the gates. He failed a perception check and was pick-pocketed. Almost immediately another party member noticed the dwarf's large gem pouch was missing. (He made a perception check as to spotting something awry, a nat 20)

Dwarf asked if anyone is running or acting suspicious.

I said, "As you scan the crowd for the would be culprit, you see about a 4 foot tall person in a hooded robe running from your position. He is about 10 yards away and gaining distance."

Dwarf, "I sick my dogs on him! Go get 'im!!!!"

The dogs quickly overtake the person and commence to tear him apart as the crowd screams and runs away from the grim scene.

Of course the city guard shows up. As does a very fine and costly carriage. You see, the boy of 12 was running to meet his parents. He was the son of the brother of the ruler of the city.

The dogs were destroyed, the Dwarf was put to death. The rest of the party was arrested because of witnesses accounts. All gear, money, weapons, etc. were taken. They were sentenced to 20 years in prison.

I asked, "New characters anyone?" They all agreed.

Big Bob.......................

[sasha]

Dwarf asked if anyone is running or acting suspicious.

That troll's bum in front of you looks awfully suspicious

That's a superb story. I really hope that dwarf was evil aligned. At least the GM was

[bigbobsr6000]

Dwarf asked if anyone is running or acting suspicious.

That troll's bum in front of you looks awfully suspicious

That's a superb story. I really hope that dwarf was evil aligned. At least the GM was

.................

[Noon]

If Dred is their nemesis, how come they could walk up to him and give him some rings?

I mean, he'd see it as some sort of trap and take precautions - so either they couldn't give him the rings or they'd notice all the precautions and think it was a bad idea.

I get the feeling the players thought this was a 'bad guy teams with good to defeat even worse bad guy' moment - and you got lucky that they read it as some amazing betrayal thing.

[Noon]

The dogs were destroyed, the Dwarf was put to death. The rest of the party was arrested because of witnesses accounts. All gear, money, weapons, etc. were taken. They were sentenced to 20 years in prison.

I asked, "New characters anyone?" They all agreed.

Big Bob.......................

Looking into the future, I predict 'Why are my players turtling and ignoring plot hooks' posts from you.

[Astral Pantheon]

If Dred is their nemesis, how come they could walk up to him and give him some rings?

I mean, he'd see it as some sort of trap and take precautions - so either they couldn't give him the rings or they'd notice all the precautions and think it was a bad idea.

I get the feeling the players thought this was a 'bad guy teams with good to defeat even worse bad guy' moment - and you got lucky that they read it as some amazing betrayal thing.

Without going into the full back story of the Players and Dred...

*The Party needed Dred to get on the ship and lets face it; even, most super villians don't want to see their world destroyed.

*Dred flew the Party to the Alien Ship (Ok, not actually Dred....an Android that looked and acted like Dred ...but the Party didn't know that!!)..Thats why the Party could get close to Dred.

*I agree the betrayal.....You can never guess what a Player will come up with next.

[The Beast]

Unfortunately the Cleric died trying to save him. This lead to the demise of the rest of the group, and Stepping off of the path became synonymous with a really bad idea. Sort of like "I disbelieve the Illussion"

I want more info on this part.

[Astral Pantheon]

Not much to it. I rarely use "lethal" traps in my games. I would say never, but I don't want my players to not have to worry. The trap i used in the forest is my absolute favorite, so I try not to use it ever. Its a rotating teleport. First person steps into the forest, it takes them to the north side of the Grove (The Path was on the south) The second person steps in, takes them to the center. After that, the forest didnt teleport for another hour, just moves them back to where they were. As I said not "Lethal" but it does wonders for splitting the group.
The group was a tank, a cleric, a caster, and a theif. While traveling down the path, they encountered an Archer. The Warrior decided to not play pincushion that day delivered the fateful line, and proceded to step off of the path. The Cleric deciding that it was a magical trap, and that the warrior was in serious need of help pronounced "I step off of the path" This left the Theif, and Wizard facing an Archer, the Warrior setting on the North Side of the Forest, and the Cleric in the Middle of the Forest. All credit is due to my group, they RolePlayed well, and didn't let real life knowledge change their course. The Warrior ran his heart out to regroup with the wizard and theif, and they charged valiantly down the path against increasing numbers of enemies in order to save the cleric. The cleric entered the hovel in the center of the forest thinking that the Warrior had been captured. In the end, the Cleric was no match for the Demented Druid, and only the Warrior managed to survive the fight to the clearing, where his misery was ended by the Druid's pet bear.

In the end, I think Ben Franklin said it best. United we stand, Divided we Fall.

I do give my Players and all Players out there credit for staying true to characters even when they ( In Real Life) know the anwser but play as if they didn't.

The players write down information as their character learn it. Of course, exp to a dead player isn't good...When a Player losses a character--I allow they to write up New character at 1/2 the level of the dead character and 1/3 the $$$ (All equipment turns into $$ with a few exceptions).... this is their bonus for playing true to character.

----------------------------------------------------------------
But I'm not without fault myself. Years and years ago...a dungeon crawl adverture. I was playing a 8th lvl Monk leading (3) 1st level clerics (all seasoned players) through goblin infested caves. As a group we were doing amazing (we all rolled at least 8 natural 20s each!!!). We came to a 6 feet missing section of floor...on the other side was a open door with what appeared to be a lot of gems (In town we had heard rumors the goblins master was weak vs gemstones and had been stealing it). We listened and heard no sounds at all then a cleric through a torch down the hole...the flame disappeared and never heard it hit.

The walls were smooth so, I took of my backpack and tied a piece of 20 ft rope to myself. Backing up, I ran, jumped, and even rolled great BUT half across I hit a force field and fell.....Did I mention I forget to hand the end of the rope to one of the other characters ALL 3 failed prowess and I fell over 780 feet into an open underground cave...then I went splat!!!

**The clerics went back to town and "my" new character Elf-Warrior joined the party...We did get to the room are a through a secret door to find out the what we thought were gemstones was just alot of glass that looked it gemstones **

Keep the stories coming

[devillin]

My best story involved players who thought that I as the GM was cheating when I rolled my dice hidden. I explained that if I wanted to kill them, I could just send bigger monsters, but they insisted that I make all rolls out in the open where they could see. Unfortunately, my d20 had it out for them, and even the hardiest tank couldn't stand up to a goblin war band backed by my 24 crits that night. I honestly wanted to make the goblins run away, but the players never did anything remotely demoralizing. Then again, it might of been that the Dwarven Cleric was sniped with a Nat 20 at the beginning of the ambush. If I hide my dice, it is because I am cheating, I am making sure no player dies a horrible death in what is essentially a random encounter.

Yeah, I had my players do the same thing to me in one of my last sessions. They were crawling through some tunnels under a city while a major ground battle was going on above them between their REF ground forces and a TGE Expeditionary Force backed by three Doomsday Machines. The REF's ace in the hole was Eggcracker, two MAC III drumbombs dropped from a Beta. The group was crawling through a section of tunnel directly below one of those Doomsday Machines when their allied forces dropped an Eggcracker on it. I had already pre-rolled an 18 for the strike (10 rolled +8 for pilot strike bonus) and the subsequent cave-in of the tunnel, and 4000 for total Eggcracker damage. They insisted that I re-roll the damage and a strike for each and every one of them. First I rolled the damage for the Eggcracker, two perfect 6's for 12000 translated through the ground at 10% for 1200 points of damage spread to whoever got hit. Then I rolled the strikes. Three players got lucky with modified hits of 18 or below, which they easily dodged. The three players who complained the most got hit with natural 19's and 20's for their hits. Needless to say, they failed their dodges. They only took 400 points of damage each.
I keep trying to tell them that if I ask them, "Are you sure you want to do that?", there is something nasty coming down the road and I'm only looking out for them.

[GreenGhost]

Aye, sounds like the GM was a bit tired of that campaign, or the Dwarfs Player ate the last slice of Pizza.
My best story involved players who thought that I as the GM was cheating when I rolled my dice hidden. I explained that if I wanted to kill them, I could just send bigger monsters, but they insisted that I make all rolls out in the open where they could see. Unfortunately, my d20 had it out for them, and even the hardiest tank couldn't stand up to a goblin war band backed by my 24 crits that night. I honestly wanted to make the goblins run away, but the players never did anything remotely demoralizing. Then again, it might of been that the Dwarven Cleric was sniped with a Nat 20 at the beginning of the ambush. If I hide my dice, it is because I am cheating, I am making sure no player dies a horrible death in what is essentially a random encounter.
In a related story, that group of players once encountered a Magical forest that grew overnight. During an encounter on a well designated path in said forest, one of the players declared "I step off of the path."
Unfortunately the Cleric died trying to save him. This lead to the demise of the rest of the group, and Stepping off of the path became synonymous with a really bad idea. Sort of like "I disbelieve the Illussion"

I know what you mean about the players thinking that you're fudging dice rolls. When I GM I come across that too sometimes. I keep the screens up to help the players. I can't tell you how many times the players should have been dead or crippled from my dice rolls, but since I get accused of fudging the dice rolls I've decided that I won't fudge anymore regardless of what happens to the characters.

Maybe then I'll receive some apologies

[Mouser13]

I have the same problem sometimes. Or just my players just being stupid.

I had a mystic knight thought he was a god/ vs CS forces. I had planed for the characters to sneak behind emeny lines go to one of the CS semi control border town and destory it, but the others players didn't want to do so he though he could then do it himself. So he did, but only because fudge some of the rolls so he was down to 1 M.D.C. point, but he was very mad about getting down to 1 point.

[GreenGhost]

[Mouser13]

Wanting the like one million exp for droping a nuke on chi town killing all the people in the burbs.

[mellowmaveric]

This took place during a d and d 3.5 game and while they were not my players i was in the game.
The ramparts were being over run by an invading army.
The Barbarian and the wizard were on top of 100' high ramparts.
The barbarian screamed 'RUN' at the wizard.
He then proceded to pick her up and toss her off before running down him self.
She made the dex check to grab her flying broom but failed to get on it in time.
She bounced from one building to the next on her way down ricosheing from one building to another.
Adding to the humilation when she landed and was still recovering a wizard from the opposing army stole her broom and ran off with it taunting her.
From then on out she was known as the pinball wizard.

[The Beast]

Oh wow! I forgot I was watching this thread still...


[quote="The Beast"]Arise. ARISE! ARISE YE DEAD THREAD!!!

[Captain Shiva]

Wow. Just wow.

I guess Dark Helmet was right when he said "Evil will always triumph because Good is dumb."

Great quote

So, now Dred-Natural Genius with seven rings grants him:

Control the Void
Metal Manipulation
Earth Possession
Defensive Immunity
Re-channel Kinetic Energy
Force Manipulation
Super Regeneraion

Immune to super power(some)
Impervious to poison and toxins
Extra PP
Impervious Fire and Heat
Impact Resist
Extra Speed
Iron Will
Wingless Flight
Energy Resist
Lightning Reflexs
Impervious to energy and electricity
Nightvision
Toy control
Mental stun

So, what should Dred do now?

Real question is, what can't he do?

[dragon_blaze_99]

So, what should Dred do now?

1.Dred should make a team of Villains that he command each one with a ring then the palyers can "try" to out smart them and Dred and get there rings back.....
2. start new character how try to get the rings from Dred's super team

also

xXx. Achilles Heel: the stupid of good
these guys

[The Beast]

I was GMing a PFRPG game. We were doing the Avaxa's Gate adventure from AitNW. The group split up so we could track down 4 elementals easier than 1 at a time. My cursebringer was teamed up with the dwarf merc, who was played by a "gung-ho" type of guy. We ended up tracking down our target into the castle floating over a canyon. We manage to get inside where we run into the owner, a jiin. My guy makes the monsters & animal skill check, and staying in character I began negociating for the elemental (I believed the two of us would need to be real lucky on rolls to beat him if we fought). The other guy fails his role and begins plotting to himself. I had an idea for a side quest (likely the one with Mindprancer in it) for us to do in exchange for the elemental. In character we reach this deal, and shake on it. I then have the jiin offer his hand to shake the dwarf's hand.

"I attack him with my battle ax at his head!" This was followed by an immediate die roll.



Yeah, that's what he said. And that was the reaction of everyone playing that night, including the two newbies.

The guy made a poor roll, though with bonuses it was good enough to hit the jiin. I starteed looking up the jiin in the books to see what his total dodge bonuses were, see if he had 6th Sense, and give the dwarf enough time to change his mind. Of this, only the low bonuses went our way. So I turn to the dwarf and tell him that unless I get init over the jiin and my Bio-Manipulation: Paraylise works, we're humped, and I'd hold it against him. Well we lucked out, and I got both rolls, and he then made a couple crits on the jiin's head. So we ended up killing him (I would have gone for a capture, but the luck wasn't there).

So we decide to look for the elemental (we only knew the jiin had captured it). I'm skimming through the section to see where it was at when I notice a line that pointed out if the jiin should be killed the castle would begin to fade away within 2 minutes. This meant that instead of taking everything and sorting it all out later, we could only get the captured elemental and get out before the castle faded away.


Same guy, same adventure (can't remember if this was before or after though):

The four main players (my cursebringer, the dwarf, a human ranger, and an elf mage) tracked down the water elemental to a cave full of Algor giants. We ended up in a battle against 10 of them (I can't remember how this occured, but I don't think it was due to anyone's actions). The elf manages to cast CoA at a choke point on them, only 2 of them saved. He then hits them with a Magic Net, so there's no longer any threat from that group of giants. That is until it was the dwarf's turn...

The dwarf asks if he can pole-vault over the Algor giants to attack them from the other side. The Rifts GM asks "What are you, stupid?" I ask him if he really wants to do it. He says yes. So I tell him to roll a d20 and roll really high. I then tell him that a failure could result in him landing in the CoA. I then tell him the giants would be swinging at him as well (hence the high d20 roll). He rolls a 14. The 5th or 6th giant rolls a natural 20 to swat him down, the others had missed at that point. He then fails his save against the CoA, which meant it had to be lowered in order to save him. He asked if he could land on his feet, and I have him roll on Sense of Balance (which was the first thing I could think of, might not have been the right roll), which he fails. I then have him roll to see if he landed on his back or his stomach, and it ended up on his back. He was lucky enough to have his weapon arm free, so he did manage to parry a couple really low rolls from gaints that didn't have good attack angles on him. The two he landed next to though really put a hurt on him (everyone had AoI cast on them). Needless to say everyone was wanting the dwarf to end up dead somehow, but the guy that made everyones' PC (except my cursebringer) had made them really well, and the dwarf was particuarly hard to kill without having something like an adult dragon single him out.

I got one more....

[The Beast]

Okay the previously mentioned Rifts GM had been LFG at the LGS when I met him. I ended up making a True Atlantean Cursebringer, and he introduced me to a couple new players, and wanted me to kind of mold them into better players. It was latter that I got my old group back to playing and we started doing Rifts as well when I took over PFRPG. But while he was running it, we were in the Place of Magic in the Old Ones book. One of the new two was a fairy, the other was a human thief IIRC. He ended up falling victim to the curse prior to my joining. One of his new powers was to metamorph into a mouse (or something around that size, maybe a rat). He did a couple things that the dwarf player would have been proud of (like throwing a barrel of oil onto an enemy I had set on fire, while I was in the same room). Anyway one of the games I had to miss, and the next time I showed up he had gotten himself trapped by 20 to 30 minotaur. The GM wanted to teach him not to run off by himself and get into trouble like he did, so before hand he told me to not interfear. I agreed, and sat back as the newbie tried to get himself out of there.

"I change into a mouse."


Yeah, at that point I knew he was dead....

Though I did learn how much damage 20 minotaur can do by stomping...

[Dolcet]

I have a stories that had everyone rolling on the dround with laughter in one case a litterally on the ground from laughing so hard. the player was a friend of mine who was notorious for not thinking things out both in rl & rpg a very smart guy but no comon sense.

1) he was suspended in a bamboo cage by some creatures & they lit a fire under it so he stated "I am going to put out the fire by smothering it with my staw bedding" at the time he had a bucket of bodily waste in the cage with him.

2)he was running a nightbane sorcerer & just after it would be useful he would cry "wait i have magic" this all led up to the gm being tired of it so after the character was dumped in lake in his morphus which was part metal (he for some unknown reason never thought to chage back).just after he passed out "wait i have breath with out air" the gm said it was to late & he had to rescued (after everyone stopped laghing)

3) he was running a cleric in a D&D game. he was part of a group the talked me into running undermoutain anyway a crawling claw (think thing from addams family) grabbed his cod piece. He said "i am going smash it with my mace" at the same time he made swinging motioton hands going from over his head to between his legs. I was on my way to gaming fridge to get a soda i didnt make it I fell to my knees from laughing so hard.

[Tadrith]

OK so we started in Heros unlimited, I was a flying super with Str. Then there was a tech guy with a souped up car with missiles and guns and stuff, a couple of mutants and a super soldier. about a 3rd of the way through the campaign we all get tossed through a rift to Palladium fantasy. As we start to explore the car starts to fall apart,(House rule dealing the effects of differing dimensions on nonnative tech.) So the tech strips out the missiles warheads and explosives from his car and put them in a duffel bag which we then all promptly forget about. Awhile later after some trials and tribulations we end up at the castle of this really powerful character (characters from old games became npcs in new ones) who is putting us up for the night and giving us a mission in the morning. During the night we get jumped by the minions of the bad guy and the tech guy goes unconscious and one of the mutants bites it, but not before taking out a chunk of the castle wall. I'm hovering about 100 ft over the battlefield holding the tech in one hand and a enemy in the other when the our host comes out ready to kick the ass of the people taking chunks out of his castle. I'll be honest here I panicked looked at the gm an said "I drop him and run"
I meant the enemy but didn't specify so... It was at this point the tech asks as his character is falling "What happens when the explosives in my pack hit the ground?" That was the start of our groups tradition of "nukeing" various towns, city's, and the Conan world.

[Lord Z]

I was running a SenZar campaign last year for about 9 months. There was nice sized group of players, up to nine at a time. They aren't stupid, but they do develop this strange herd mentality when they get together. Regardless of the problem they face, they tend to grasp the first fool solution they find and stick to it like it was the last lifeboat on the Titanic.

The campaign was about fantasy characters who were all reincarnated together as humans on a modern Earth. After re-discovering their powers, they also uncovered a secret society of telepaths (a lot like Mind Flayers) from their old planet, SenZar, which was plotting to destroy their Earth. Instead of even attempting to save Earth, they tracked down a derelict spaceship and got the heck out of Dodge. After retrieving the ship from under the ice of the south pole, they fought off two of the Mind Flayers' smaller pirate-space ships.

Now their entire goal for the campaign (which they set for themselves) was to return to SenZar. The retrieval of the spaceship was the climax I was hoping to have because they went there way sooner than I expected. Okay, so we'll have the climax over the planet SenZar instead. They fly back to SenZar, and there is a blockaid fleet of Mind Flayer ships in their path. Along the way, they gathered a lot of resources.

Just to name a few, they have the most powerful single ship currently in the galaxy, Starship Gygax. The ship has a super-AI, hundreds of ship-to-ship weapons, and an armed shuttle. Inside the ship, there is also a Vulcan Forge which can create magic weapons or a robot army for them (using golemancy rules). They've brought along all of their mentors, an allied cult of magicians, an elite team of special forces soldiers, a baby dragon, a huge black tiger, a clan of Predator-like aliens, and the demi-goddess chieftain of the that clan. The ship itself has an energy shield which can be rendered impervious to the enemy fleet's weapons if a single Primal Point (like a god's hit point) is invested into it. It also has a main gun which could wipe out the flagship of the enemy fleet with a single shot if a single Primal Point is placed in that. They have one Primal Point which they negotiated from an insane eternal spirit.

Rallying to their side come three or four large organic tree-ships which each contain hundred of telepathic planet aliens. I even had one guest player take on the role of Geshborne, god of lost causes, to aid them. I gave Geshborne the super-power of being able to convince any NPC to perform any fool plot just so that the players could be certain they had the plant-aliens on their side. Those tree-ships can project energy fields which work like the Sanctuary spell in Palladium games. They even had access to the insane eternal spirits if they wanted to negotiate for more Primal Points.

Against them, they are facing dozens of the smaller Mind Flayer's pirate ships and one huge Mind Flayer's flag ship -- but still not as large nor powerful as the Gygax when hyped up on Primal Points. The enemy ships have hundreds of ship-to-ship weapons which work by amplifying and focusing astrological spells. The enemy has suicide atomic missiles (also using the golemancy rules) which attack through the Astral Plane. They had full conversion borgs as marine troopers. There are hundreds of Mind Flayers spread throughout the enemy ships and tens of thousands of brain washed slaves.

So which of these resources do the players decide to use? None of them. I kick you not. They gathered all this power for the last six months in real time (and game time), and they decide to use none of it.

Their grand scheme is exactly as follows: #1 Leaves the Gygax behind in the Sanctuary field of the tree-ships. #2 Teleport to the nearest enemy ship. #3 Kill everything in sight. Yes, they were determined to walk through the enemy fleet, room by room, and either kill or let Geshborne re-brain wash every NPC. I let the try it, and I let it become very clear they the enemies were not going to roll over for them. Even as their hit points and magic points were being very slowly depleted, they stuck to their plan of attacking tens of thousands of enemies, one room at a time.

By this time, it was well past midnight, and I had to go to work in five or six hours. I excused myself to use the restroom, and I specifically instructed the discuss their strategy while I was gone. When I returned, they were still committed to the same strategy. I ended up having the goddess of the Predator clan lead her followers onto the bridge of the enemy's flagship, break through the magic wards, and kill the commanders of the Mind Flayer fleet. The player-characters followed. Geshborne fought the goddess and killed her in a single attack (they were both weak as gods with just about five or so Primal hit points).

The players complained to me that they didn't get a chance to do anything cool.

[Guy_LeDouche]

This one treads the fine line between stupidity and courage:

While GMing a game, the band of PCs (between 6th and 8th level) was trying to protect a group of refugees from the wraith of the CS. The refugees were fleeing a small city. One of the PCs, a Juicer acting as a rear guard, got cut off from the rest of the party and came under fire from a CS Helicopter Gunship.

He retreated into a multi story building, the Gunship following along at treetop level, blasting everything in sight (the Juicer, a few refugees, a couple of buildings, etc.)

Hiding in the building, his p-beam rifle out of ammo, he stayed hidden as the chopper came to a halt next to the building, still gunning at the party and the refugees, keeping them pinned down until reinforcements could arrive.

The player then threw me for a loop. He was almost level with chopper, and declared that he would jump from the building, landing on one of the gunship's "wings", pump an entire Naruni pistol clip into the cockpit, then jump away before the chopper crashed.

Yes, it flys in the face of every law of physics, but its a RPG, right? So, I allowed the attempt. He was ALMOST successful. He managed to blast the cockpit to smithereens, but didn't survive the crash.

The table erupted in applause. It was an awesome death, and certainly one befitting a Juicer.

[Lord Z]

Big Bob, your story bothered me a little bit. Granted, I wasn't there. From your description, however, it seems to me that this isn't a “Players did what?” story so much as a “GM did what?” story. You seem to be really tough on your players.

The player with the dwarf did over-react. I don't deny that. He over-reacted because you implied that the cloaked figure was an enemy. I might have done the same thing if I were in his place and if table time were running short. After an innocent character got mauled, you should have at least given the player-characters a chance to get away or given the dwarf a chance to roleplay his trial. This situation was sort of like the death-with-no-saving-throw-traps which were infamous in the very early D&D modules.

Astral Pantheon, I enjoyed your story greatly.

[Captain Shiva]

This is more what happens when your GM is not paying attention. Rifts campaign.

-----------------

GM: You guys can be anything you want, as long as it's in the Rifts World books.

Me, leafing through South America: Hmmm... can I be an Ellal?

GM: What book is it in?

Me (presents book): South America.

GM: Yeah. That's fine.

Me: Cool. Should be fun. (Reads a bit more before rolling up) Oh... Uhm, how old should I be?

GM: I don't care.

Me; This is kind of important. I am going to need a number.

GM: It doesn't matter.

Me: Did you read this class? My age kind of dictates my power level. I don't want to ruin your campaign. I need you as the DM to give me a number.

GM: I read it. You just saw me. Whatever. You're undead right? 2 million years old. How's that?

Me: I think you looked at the picture. I don't think you read anything.

GM: Look, quit bothering me. It doesn't matter. You are going to get killed anyways! 5 million, ok? Whatever.

Me: Uhm... ok. (starts rolling and doing math resulting in over 1.5 million MDC and a PS bonus of over 100,000 to any melee attack.)

End result: Crawling my way in to Chi-town, laying waste to everything, finding Emperor Prosek and asking him for a Pre-Rifts buffalo nickel before turning in my character sheet and going home.

Yes, the GM always needs to read the rulebooks, and should the rules at least as well as the most experienced player.

[BillionSix]

This is more what happens when your GM is not paying attention. Rifts campaign.

-----------------

GM: You guys can be anything you want, as long as it's in the Rifts World books.

Me, leafing through South America: Hmmm... can I be an Ellal?

GM: What book is it in?

Me (presents book): South America.

GM: Yeah. That's fine.

Me: Cool. Should be fun. (Reads a bit more before rolling up) Oh... Uhm, how old should I be?

GM: I don't care.

Me; This is kind of important. I am going to need a number.

GM: It doesn't matter.

Me: Did you read this class? My age kind of dictates my power level. I don't want to ruin your campaign. I need you as the DM to give me a number.

GM: I read it. You just saw me. Whatever. You're undead right? 2 million years old. How's that?

Me: I think you looked at the picture. I don't think you read anything.

GM: Look, quit bothering me. It doesn't matter. You are going to get killed anyways! 5 million, ok? Whatever.

Me: Uhm... ok. (starts rolling and doing math resulting in over 1.5 million MDC and a PS bonus of over 100,000 to any melee attack.)

End result: Crawling my way in to Chi-town, laying waste to everything, finding Emperor Prosek and asking him for a Pre-Rifts buffalo nickel before turning in my character sheet and going home.

A GM who doesn't care what you play, because he's just going to kill you anyway?

I am curious, was he always this bad? If so, why did you let him GM? Why did he let you keep playing once he figured out what your character was like?

Still, great story.

[Captain Shiva]

I have a stories that had everyone rolling on the dround with laughter in one case a litterally on the ground from laughing so hard. the player was a friend of mine who was notorious for not thinking things out both in rl & rpg a very smart guy but no comon sense.

1) he was suspended in a bamboo cage by some creatures & they lit a fire under it so he stated "I am going to put out the fire by smothering it with my staw bedding" at the time he had a bucket of bodily waste in the cage with him.

2)he was running a nightbane sorcerer & just after it would be useful he would cry "wait i have magic" this all led up to the gm being tired of it so after the character was dumped in lake in his morphus which was part metal (he for some unknown reason never thought to chage back).just after he passed out "wait i have breath with out air" the gm said it was to late & he had to rescued (after everyone stopped laghing)

3) he was running a cleric in a D&D game. he was part of a group the talked me into running undermoutain anyway a crawling claw (think thing from addams family) grabbed his cod piece. He said "i am going smash it with my mace" at the same time he made swinging motioton hands going from over his head to between his legs. I was on my way to gaming fridge to get a soda i didnt make it I fell to my knees from laughing so hard.

It could have been worse:what if he had said,"I'm going to bite it!!", and rolled a fumble.

[Vrykolas2k]

I was running Rifts, and sent the party to Africa to deal with the Four Horsemen.
The encountered War, and the guy playing the 'borg did a slide in under War, and used his power halberd to whack the demon in the crotch, then War rolled a natural 1 to whack him back. I use a sort of house-rule chart, which rolled that War hit himself in the crotch as well. He didn't get his loul absorbed by his own weapon of course, but he did deal the multiple damage...
It ended up being a very long combat, even with the other heroes there aside form the pcs...
Later when fighting Death, he hit one of the female pcs with his staff, sending her back at the other pcs... one stepped foreward and hit her with his big hammer, knocking her back at death...
They dealt with Pestilence by using DDT bombs, then taking him out when his bugs were dead.

[Captain Shiva]

I have a player in my game who reminds me of a male version Alicia Silverstone's character in Clueless. He plays a Combat Cyborg named Murphy (yes, a Robocop reference) with very little tactical sense, but it's no fault of the character, who is actually supposed to be fairly intelligent. Anyway, during a session a few weeks ago, the players had just returned to a town in Kansas called Heart with some power transistors they had salvaged from the ruins of Topeka and were looking to collect a reward. Unfortunately, they discovered that Heart had been decimated by an evil mage and a small force of demons (who had already moved on). After collecting the survivors and sending for help, they waited for someone to arrive to care for the survivors so they could continue on their journey. As they waited, a Coalition Kill Squad of Skelebots approached the town but made no hostile moves against the party (they were programmed to attack only D-Bees and creatures of magic, none of which were in the party at the time, unless fired up first). Murphy, who hates the Coalition because they were responsible for destroying his town as a child and giving him burns on his body that forced him to "convert," opened fire immediately. Of course, when he realized that the 10 skelebots were all returning fire against him and not spreading out their fire equally against him and his allies, he panicked, and fled at top speed on his hovercycle.


In our most recent session, a large demon crossed into Earth's dimension through Devil's Gate and the Cyber-Knight, his squire, and the Juicer immediately moved to engage it in melee so as to protect the mages and psionics. Good old Murphy however said "I load up my biggest plasma missile and launch it at the demon!" to which there was a collective scream of "NO!" from the other players who had just engaged the demon in melee. You see, Murphy had conveniently forgotten that his missile had a blast radius of 15 feet and would likely inflict more damage overall to his allies than he would to the demon.

Murphy's Law(actual)- when there is more than one way to do something, and one of those ways is certain to result in utter catastrophe, then some will do it that way.

[cyber-yukongil v2.5]

so my gaming group has been playing Deadlands Hell on Earth now for a about a month or so, and we have a harrowed Psyker in the group (or undead psionic, for those of you who haven't played Deadlands) played by the most scatterbrained individual I've probably ever played with. He's that kind of player that responds to every situation with violence and often big violence.

So he's got this power called Arson that creates a huge fireball (24 yard diameter) and he wants to use it at every oppurtunity (which is frustrating in itself, as it's the classic case of the wizard who fireballs everything before you fighter can get in there and have fun) but worse, is he will declare it dispite there being 2 or 3 party members in the radius. Every time, we've had to warn him of this and he reluctently agrees not to do it, but last week, I told the group that I was tired of having to "board-coach" him at every turn and from now on, just to let him do whatever he wants and then he'll have to live with the consequences.

So last night we're playing, he's on watch, when 10 muties avatars of War show up out of a fog and rush our position. First there is a rule were a character with the Leadership skill can roll it to warn other characters so they are not surprised and thus, may act and not be horribly mutilated by the baddies. Surprisingly he actually has the skill and rolls it, but misses it by 2 or so. Well in DL you have chips of fate that you may spend to add to your die rolls and such, and being that we are several weeks in, he has a buttload of chips just sitting there. Does he spend one of his many to alert the rest of the group? Nope (here though I broke my own rule and asked him to spend chips on the roll) douche bag move #1.

so we get rushed by the group, they hammer on a few people as they try to get up and ready after being caught by the surprise. My new character, a mutant that I have been playing for about 2 hours, errects a forcefield around the surprised characters to hold off the attacks that are incoming. It comes to his next action and he decides that he is going to Arson the baddies, and asks how far away the main group is from the party, to which the Marshall responds "oh, about 10 feet", he continues on anyways. The Marshall has him make an Artillery check to see if he can place the explosion, so that only the muties are caught in the radius. He doesn't have the skill, so with penalties, the highest he gets is a 1, needless to say, that ain't gonna work. It should be noted also, that he still has this huge pile of chips to up the roll (all he needed was a 5) and he knows that his failure is going to result in hitting the party. Does he spend the chips? Nope, douche bag move #2.

so he activates his power, gets a ridiculous number of success and ends up with this massive 6d10 fireball that catches everyone (to put this in scale a anti-tank missile only does 4d12) This kills almost everyone, even those behind my forcefield (it should also be noted that I had just found an errata to the Massive Damage Rules, which make them uber-lethal) except for our Junker and the Psyker. Well seeing this as the perfect oppourtunity, the demon inside the Psyker, takes over and then tries to finish off the Junker, who is on-fire, missing a leg, holding onto consciouness, barely. They init off and somehow the Junker wins, and with the words
"I should have killed you sooner"

blows the head off the Psyker and the collapses into unconsciouness until he burns to death.

So TPK from stupid moron who can't remember not to throw area effect attacks in mass-melee

[Natasha]

Are chips of fate tastier than chili cheese fritos?Sorry to hear about the d-bag.