Rune Weapons?

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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Library Ogre »

Castlerake... it doesn't just shoot through schools, it destroys buildings.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by 9voltkilowatt »

Yeah, Castlerake is very likely the most destructive but there are others of equal but "different" power. Take Mindprancer as a example, it gives you pretty much every psionic power ...in addition to some other abilities! :D
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Ice Dragon »

Castlerake is very powerful, but doesn't an Indian (=Hindu) deity of magic developed the "Shifter" - a rune weapon that can change it's "type" - like into a Sword of Atlantis, then into an Impaler and so on. IMHO, this is the most powerful rune weapon in the megaverse.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by csbioborg »

a bit off topic but I really like how PF gives a back story and unique powers to each rune weapon

Compare that to Atlantis and Syplnn where there is a list of generic rune weapons

it seems to take away from the unqiueness and rarity of rune weapons when you have standard issue rune weapons for high lord

PF each weapon has at least a paragraph stroy even if its a lesser rune weapon
you really get the feeling this has history behind it

my favorite is the dwark waraxe where the guy killed 1000 in a day with and gave up the sword apparently becoming a enlightend immortal someplace
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Starmage21 »

csbioborg wrote:a bit off topic but I really like how PF gives a back story and unique powers to each rune weapon

Compare that to Atlantis and Syplnn where there is a list of generic rune weapons

it seems to take away from the unqiueness and rarity of rune weapons when you have standard issue rune weapons for high lord

PF each weapon has at least a paragraph stroy even if its a lesser rune weapon
you really get the feeling this has history behind it

my favorite is the dwark waraxe where the guy killed 1000 in a day with and gave up the sword apparently becoming a enlightend immortal someplace


Thats a GOOD thing. In Rifts, technology often exceeds the capability of rune weapons for a much cheaper production cost. Oh look! A sword of Atlantis! *meh* sell it and buy 2 glitter boys.

Besides, Palladium is in a dimensional corner of the megaverse. Rifts Earth is a dimensional nexus, granting the potential infinite number of rune smiths from an infinite number of dimensions the chance to practice their trade under spluugorth slave masters :D
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by 9voltkilowatt »

Starmage21 wrote: granting the potential infinite number of rune smiths from an infinite number of dimensions the chance to practice their trade under spluugorth slave masters :D


Or more likely be mind-raped until they're gibbering idiots incapable of creating runic items.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Nekira Sudacne »

9voltkilowatt wrote:
Starmage21 wrote: granting the potential infinite number of rune smiths from an infinite number of dimensions the chance to practice their trade under spluugorth slave masters :D


Or more likely be mind-raped until they're gibbering idiots incapable of creating runic items.


Actually, it's stated the splurgorth do nither. They simply ENSLAVE them, and force them to work in their "runic factories" that churn out aforementioned "generic" rune weapons :D
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Library Ogre »

Actually, aren't a rather large number of High Lords Rune masters?
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Severite »

Mark Hall wrote:Actually, aren't a rather large number of High Lords Rune masters?


Yes. I also hate the feel of rune weapons/lost ancient arts in Rifts, so I have adjusted my campaign quite a bit to acomodate them.

There are 'generic' rune weapons, but they are of the light 'lesser' rune weapon variety. Similar to the Rune dagger in the temple of Aco adventure in Old ones 1st edition.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by 9voltkilowatt »

Nekira Sudacne wrote:Actually, it's stated the splurgorth do nither. They simply ENSLAVE them, and force them to work in their "runic factories" that churn out aforementioned "generic" rune weapons :D


Atlantis, pg 127, under "GM Note": The secrets of rune magic should never be learned by any player character, and anyone who steals or develops any part of the mystic knowledge will be hunted down and destroyed by the Splugorth regardless of the cost.

I don't remember ever seeing anywhere in the books where it mentions the Splugorth enslaving runic masters, every reference I can recall always mentions how they are hunted down and destroyed. Can you give a book and page number where it mentions enslavement?

Mark Hall wrote:Actually, aren't a rather large number of High Lords Rune masters?


As for the Highlords being Rune Masters, well, thats a little misleading. Highlord Rune Masters can read runes and magic symbols, understand the rudimentary concepts and procedures behind rune magic but cannot actually create rune items.

Atlantis, pg 44, First section.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Temporalmage »

9voltkilowatt wrote:
Nekira Sudacne wrote:Actually, it's stated the splurgorth do nither. They simply ENSLAVE them, and force them to work in their "runic factories" that churn out aforementioned "generic" rune weapons :D


Atlantis, pg 127, under "GM Note": The secrets of rune magic should never be learned by any player character, and anyone who steals or develops any part of the mystic knowledge will be hunted down and destroyed by the Splugorth regardless of the cost.

I don't remember ever seeing anywhere in the books where it mentions the Splugorth enslaving runic masters, every reference I can recall always mentions how they are hunted down and destroyed. Can you give a book and page number where it mentions enslavement?

Pantheons book under the asgardian dwarves, mentions that a percentage of them are Rune Smiths, and that when they travle they are sometimes hunted by splugorths for capture.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Nekira Sudacne »

Temporalmage wrote:
9voltkilowatt wrote:
Nekira Sudacne wrote:Actually, it's stated the splurgorth do nither. They simply ENSLAVE them, and force them to work in their "runic factories" that churn out aforementioned "generic" rune weapons :D


Atlantis, pg 127, under "GM Note": The secrets of rune magic should never be learned by any player character, and anyone who steals or develops any part of the mystic knowledge will be hunted down and destroyed by the Splugorth regardless of the cost.

I don't remember ever seeing anywhere in the books where it mentions the Splugorth enslaving runic masters, every reference I can recall always mentions how they are hunted down and destroyed. Can you give a book and page number where it mentions enslavement?

Pantheons book under the asgardian dwarves, mentions that a percentage of them are Rune Smiths, and that when they travle they are sometimes hunted by splugorths for capture.


Thank you. That's what I was refering to. There's also a note about the blessed Cyclopse of Hephestus having rune magic too and hiding it because they don't wanna be taken.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by csbioborg »

Starmage21 wrote:
csbioborg wrote:a bit off topic but I really like how PF gives a back story and unique powers to each rune weapon

Compare that to Atlantis and Syplnn where there is a list of generic rune weapons

it seems to take away from the unqiueness and rarity of rune weapons when you have standard issue rune weapons for high lord

PF each weapon has at least a paragraph stroy even if its a lesser rune weapon
you really get the feeling this has history behind it

my favorite is the dwark waraxe where the guy killed 1000 in a day with and gave up the sword apparently becoming a enlightend immortal someplace


Thats a GOOD thing. In Rifts, technology often exceeds the capability of rune weapons for a much cheaper production cost. Oh look! A sword of Atlantis! *meh* sell it and buy 2 glitter boys.

Besides, Palladium is in a dimensional corner of the megaverse. Rifts Earth is a dimensional nexus, granting the potential infinite number of rune smiths from an infinite number of dimensions the chance to practice their trade under spluugorth slave masters :D




sure but that dosen't explain the creature you bound to the weapon being identical to the next. In PF the personlity of the weapon influences its powers. A fire lemental is not going to have huge water powers.

Also even if a huge number of people know rune magic that does not mean they have access to deific beings required for greatest rune weapons at a tip of the hat. Which sword of atlantis and that entire list are
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Re: Rune Weapons?

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csbioborg wrote:sure but that dosen't explain the creature you bound to the weapon being identical to the next. In PF the personlity of the weapon influences its powers. A fire lemental is not going to have huge water powers.

Also even if a huge number of people know rune magic that does not mean they have access to deific beings required for greatest rune weapons at a tip of the hat. Which sword of atlantis and that entire list are


I'd say that might be evidence that the entrapped being is nothing more than a power source.

Greatest Rune Weapons might not necessarily require full blown gods, but maybe beings with powers on that scale. Basically other intelligences which might include rival spluugorth, really powerful mortals, and the like.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

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9voltkilowatt wrote:Yeah, Castlerake is very likely the most destructive but there are others of equal but "different" power. Take Mindprancer as a example, it gives you pretty much every psionic power ...in addition to some other abilities! :D

What book is Mindprancer listed in?
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Captain Shiva »

Yes. I also hate the feel of rune weapons/lost ancient arts in Rifts, so I have adjusted my campaign quite a bit to acomodate them.

There are 'generic' rune weapons, but they are of the light 'lesser' rune weapon variety. Similar to the Rune dagger in the temple of Aco adventure in Old ones 1st edition.[/quote]
If you have ever read Fred Saberhagen's Swords series, the magic swords in there each have a diffferent power, and they have drawbacks as well. For instance, Shieldbreaker is proof against any weapon, including the other Swords, but is powerless against unarmed opponents.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by csbioborg »

Starmage21 wrote:
csbioborg wrote:sure but that dosen't explain the creature you bound to the weapon being identical to the next. In PF the personlity of the weapon influences its powers. A fire lemental is not going to have huge water powers.

Also even if a huge number of people know rune magic that does not mean they have access to deific beings required for greatest rune weapons at a tip of the hat. Which sword of atlantis and that entire list are


I'd say that might be evidence that the entrapped being is nothing more than a power source.

Greatest Rune Weapons might not necessarily require full blown gods, but maybe beings with powers on that scale. Basically other intelligences which might include rival spluugorth, really powerful mortals, and the like.



really powerful mortals demi gods godling are speifically precluded from being used as greatest rune fuel.

Okay if Splugorth and other AIs like vampires it still begs the question how common could they be in the universe. That every decent ranked high lord has one.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by csbioborg »

Captain Shiva wrote:Yes. I also hate the feel of rune weapons/lost ancient arts in Rifts, so I have adjusted my campaign quite a bit to acomodate them.

There are 'generic' rune weapons, but they are of the light 'lesser' rune weapon variety. Similar to the Rune dagger in the temple of Aco adventure in Old ones 1st edition.

If you have ever read Fred Saberhagen's Swords series, the magic swords in there each have a diffferent power, and they have drawbacks as well. For instance, Shieldbreaker is proof against any weapon, including the other Swords, but is powerless against unarmed opponents.[/quote]

sure each book was devoted to a sword I liked the healing sword that you couldn't injuree anybody with even with a stab through the heart. Its been a lng time since i read those
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Re: Rune Weapons?

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csbioborg wrote:
Starmage21 wrote:
csbioborg wrote:sure but that dosen't explain the creature you bound to the weapon being identical to the next. In PF the personlity of the weapon influences its powers. A fire lemental is not going to have huge water powers.

Also even if a huge number of people know rune magic that does not mean they have access to deific beings required for greatest rune weapons at a tip of the hat. Which sword of atlantis and that entire list are


I'd say that might be evidence that the entrapped being is nothing more than a power source.

Greatest Rune Weapons might not necessarily require full blown gods, but maybe beings with powers on that scale. Basically other intelligences which might include rival spluugorth, really powerful mortals, and the like.



really powerful mortals demi gods godling are speifically precluded from being used as greatest rune fuel.

Okay if Splugorth and other AIs like vampires it still begs the question how common could they be in the universe. That every decent ranked high lord has one.


The answer is infinite :D We're dealing with rifts that open up to an infinite number of realities at any time and any space. The real question is how hard are you going to have to look to find them?

Logic suggests that somewhere out there in the infinite megaverse that there is an entire universe full of gods that want to become rune weapons. So yeah, maybe the sploogies have found it or something like it if theyre factory producing greatest rune weapons.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by csbioborg »

Starmage21 wrote:
csbioborg wrote:
Starmage21 wrote:
csbioborg wrote:sure but that dosen't explain the creature you bound to the weapon being identical to the next. In PF the personlity of the weapon influences its powers. A fire lemental is not going to have huge water powers.

Also even if a huge number of people know rune magic that does not mean they have access to deific beings required for greatest rune weapons at a tip of the hat. Which sword of atlantis and that entire list are


I'd say that might be evidence that the entrapped being is nothing more than a power source.

Greatest Rune Weapons might not necessarily require full blown gods, but maybe beings with powers on that scale. Basically other intelligences which might include rival spluugorth, really powerful mortals, and the like.



really powerful mortals demi gods godling are speifically precluded from being used as greatest rune fuel.

Okay if Splugorth and other AIs like vampires it still begs the question how common could they be in the universe. That every decent ranked high lord has one.


The answer is infinite :D We're dealing with rifts that open up to an infinite number of realities at any time and any space. The real question is how hard are you going to have to look to find them?

Logic suggests that somewhere out there in the infinite megaverse that there is an entire universe full of gods that want to become rune weapons. So yeah, maybe the sploogies have found it or something like it if theyre factory producing greatest rune weapons.



Well logic dictates those dimesnions get canceled out by the equally infinte number of gods looking to make rune weapons out of them there fore we have to deal with the nromal actions of Palladium superntaul beings
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Starmage21 »

csbioborg wrote:
Starmage21 wrote:
csbioborg wrote:
Starmage21 wrote:
csbioborg wrote:sure but that dosen't explain the creature you bound to the weapon being identical to the next. In PF the personlity of the weapon influences its powers. A fire lemental is not going to have huge water powers.

Also even if a huge number of people know rune magic that does not mean they have access to deific beings required for greatest rune weapons at a tip of the hat. Which sword of atlantis and that entire list are


I'd say that might be evidence that the entrapped being is nothing more than a power source.

Greatest Rune Weapons might not necessarily require full blown gods, but maybe beings with powers on that scale. Basically other intelligences which might include rival spluugorth, really powerful mortals, and the like.



really powerful mortals demi gods godling are speifically precluded from being used as greatest rune fuel.

Okay if Splugorth and other AIs like vampires it still begs the question how common could they be in the universe. That every decent ranked high lord has one.


The answer is infinite :D We're dealing with rifts that open up to an infinite number of realities at any time and any space. The real question is how hard are you going to have to look to find them?

Logic suggests that somewhere out there in the infinite megaverse that there is an entire universe full of gods that want to become rune weapons. So yeah, maybe the sploogies have found it or something like it if theyre factory producing greatest rune weapons.



Well logic dictates those dimesnions get canceled out by the equally infinte number of gods looking to make rune weapons out of them there fore we have to deal with the nromal actions of Palladium superntaul beings


that does not preclude our subject group.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Captain Shiva »

Rogue_Scientist wrote:
Captain Shiva wrote: If you have ever read Fred Saberhagen's Swords series, the magic swords in there each have a diffferent power, and they have drawbacks as well. For instance, Shieldbreaker is proof against any weapon, including the other Swords, but is powerless against unarmed opponents.


Not a commonly read series. Nice mention!

(Elvis voice) Thank you. Thank you very much. :lol: I felt that those swords provide the best example of rune weapons. Those, and Stormbringer. And by the way, I have always felt the Berserkers were a big influence on the Mechanoids.












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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Captain Shiva »

Rogue_Scientist wrote:Mjolnir deserves a mention.

Doing I think 4d6x10 + 55 MD per strike in Thor's hands, plus multipliers for assorted baddies, it probably has among the most consistent damage outputs of any of the rune weapons.

Well, you wouldn't expect a god to wield just any old rune weapon, now would you? :lol:
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Talavar »

I think the Black Sword of Styphon deserves special mention - 1d6x100, direct to hit points. Ouch.

Also, I would imagine a major source of rune weapons would be elementals.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Library Ogre »

IMO, two things influence the strength of a rune item... the strength of the soul, and the strength of the creator. A greatest rune weapon requires a strong soul, but not necessarily a deity or an AI... it may "only" be a greater demon (remember, some of those are capable of granting witch pacts!). However, to get real strength out of it, you need to have a strong rune master/smith.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

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Captain Shiva wrote:
9voltkilowatt wrote:Yeah, Castlerake is very likely the most destructive but there are others of equal but "different" power. Take Mindprancer as a example, it gives you pretty much every psionic power ...in addition to some other abilities! :D

What book is Mindprancer listed in?


Mindprancer is from Adventures in the Northern Wilderness.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Captain Shiva »

The Beast wrote:
Captain Shiva wrote:
9voltkilowatt wrote:Yeah, Castlerake is very likely the most destructive but there are others of equal but "different" power. Take Mindprancer as a example, it gives you pretty much every psionic power ...in addition to some other abilities! :D

What book is Mindprancer listed in?


Mindprancer is from Adventures in the Northern Wilderness.

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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Khanibal »

csbioborg wrote:Well logic dictates those dimesnions get canceled out by the equally infinte number of gods looking to make rune weapons out of them there fore we have to deal with the nromal actions of Palladium superntaul beings


Uh, doesn't that indicate an infinite number of rune weapons?
Just out of curiosity, which would you consider to be the least powerful rune weapon?
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Starmage21 »

Khanibal wrote:
csbioborg wrote:Well logic dictates those dimesnions get canceled out by the equally infinte number of gods looking to make rune weapons out of them there fore we have to deal with the nromal actions of Palladium superntaul beings


Uh, doesn't that indicate an infinite number of rune weapons?
Just out of curiosity, which would you consider to be the least powerful rune weapon?



LEAST powerful? Samurai daisho. All they get is the indestructibility and some increased damage.
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Khanibal
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Khanibal »

I can't remember where the example came from, but before I started playing palladium games, someone told me, or I read in a book, that scribing a rune on a piece of paper would render it indestructible. Does anyone else remember the peanut butter commercial where to prove how smooth the product spread, the actress cut a knife out of a paper plate to make the sandwich with?

I want a paper rune knife.
"Then one day, I was just walking down the street and I heard a voice behind me say, 'Reach for it Mister.', and I spun around and there I was face to face with a six-year-old kid.
Well, I just threw my guns down, walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass.”

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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by The Beast »

Khanibal wrote:I can't remember where the example came from, but before I started playing palladium games, someone told me, or I read in a book, that scribing a rune on a piece of paper would render it indestructible. Does anyone else remember the peanut butter commercial where to prove how smooth the product spread, the actress cut a knife out of a paper plate to make the sandwich with?

I want a paper rune knife.


Look under the Diabolist OCC from PFRPG or Rifts CB1. Also it doesn't change the strength of the paper, so your rune knife would only kill someone if they let you papercut them over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over 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and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by AzathothXy »

The Eternity Sword isn't bad.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Khanibal »

The Beast wrote:Look under the Diabolist OCC from PFRPG or Rifts CB1. Also it doesn't change the strength of the paper, so your rune knife would only kill someone if they let you papercut them over and over... and over again.


But, just imagine the peanut butter sandwiches you could make!
Mmmm
"Then one day, I was just walking down the street and I heard a voice behind me say, 'Reach for it Mister.', and I spun around and there I was face to face with a six-year-old kid.
Well, I just threw my guns down, walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass.”

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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Library Ogre »

Khanibal wrote:I can't remember where the example came from, but before I started playing palladium games, someone told me, or I read in a book, that scribing a rune on a piece of paper would render it indestructible. Does anyone else remember the peanut butter commercial where to prove how smooth the product spread, the actress cut a knife out of a paper plate to make the sandwich with?

I want a paper rune knife.


Not quite.

Inscribing a rune, in silver, on parchment, makes both the rune and the parchment indestructible. However, it's still parchment... which is scraped and beaten cow skin. It doesn't give paper cuts, and it crumples just like parchment always does... it just can't be cut, burned, or erased.

There are some valid uses of indestructible parchment in armory, but this is not one.
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Khanibal »

Ok, I'll settle for a silver rune butter knife.

Don't forget the jelly. Personally I prefer blackberry with my peanut butter. If it's just straight toast or hot fresh bread then strawberry or blueberry. Can I get an enchantment on my rune knife to equalize pressure and disolve hardened sugars to help me open the jars?
"Then one day, I was just walking down the street and I heard a voice behind me say, 'Reach for it Mister.', and I spun around and there I was face to face with a six-year-old kid.
Well, I just threw my guns down, walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass.”

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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Shadowfyr »

On a side note, Since magic is always mixed up and recreated into new spells and what not, Have people created their own Rune Weapons / Armors to surprise their groups?

If so list some of your favorites.


*I mean since tech is always being recreated into new cool things, whats to prevent a rune item from showing up 8-)
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Re: Rune Weapons?

Unread post by Khanibal »

I had a G.M. set up one of the player in my group with a Greatest Rune Weapon. 1d4x10 M.D. and double damage against normal insects. Friggin' thing would wake the whole party in the middle of the night.
"Mosquito!"

I don't play with that group anymore.
"Then one day, I was just walking down the street and I heard a voice behind me say, 'Reach for it Mister.', and I spun around and there I was face to face with a six-year-old kid.
Well, I just threw my guns down, walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass.”

-Waco Kid (Blazing Saddles)
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