Life and Friendship
I’ve done a lot of introspection since the loss of Kathy. About how I have met and known so many amazing people in my life. People who seem to show up when I need them most. That started with my Mom and Dad, both astonishing and wonderful in their own special way, and my dear, little (six foot, four) brother.
Over the years, I’ve talked a lot about Erick Wujcik, in part because he too has passed away, and in part because he was one of those larger than life people, a brilliant game designer in his own right. He and I were co-conspirators and cheerleaders in each other's lives for decades from the day we met; true friends and creative soulmates to the end. But there has been a multitude of other people who have had a profound impact on my life and work.
Kathy, of course, in more ways than you can imagine, dear sweet Julius Rosenstein (also passed), Matthew Balent, Robin Korona, William Messner-Loebs, the lovely Francis Loebs, Jim Domborski, Jim Osten, Kay Kozora, Larry Jordan, Cheryl Corey, Maryann Donald, my two kids, Kevin Long, Randy McCall, Roger and Randy Cartier, Mary Parkinson, Keith Parkinson, Rita Smolinski, Teresa Mead, Jim Steranko, Kevin Eastman, Peter Laird, Mark Freedman, Stephen Bissette, Ramon K. Perez, Freddie Williams II, Tyler Walpole, Larry Elmore, Steven Cummings, Jolly Blackburn, Brandon Aten, Shawn Hall, Richard Burke, Richard Cook, the Brown Family, Joe Bergmans, Doug Lamberson, Dennis Hughes, Jeff Hansen, Chris Guertin, Paul Deckert, Mark Oberle, Mike Leonard, John Zeleznik, Carl Gleba, Carmen Bellaire, Steven Dawes, Mark Dudley, Chuck Walton, Bill Coffin, Nick Bradshaw, Mike Mumah, Mike Wilson, Mike Majestic, Marc Moore, Ryan McDaniels, Nick Kay, Matthew Clements, John Klinkel, Chris Landauer, Wayne Smith, Sean Roberson (my new creative soulmate and crazy business partner) and the entire Roberson/Nelson clan, each and every single Defiler, especially the Bartolds, and a freakin’ army of other people! Far too many to list them all by name. Plus the greatest fans on the planet. Wow. It’s incredible to me.
Most of these people (and you) have impacted my life in the most wonderful and beautiful of ways, making me a better human being. Even when things sometimes turned sour, it becomes a learning experience that helps me grow in new ways. Some of these people were in my life for a short time, others for a lifetime, but always significant. It astonishes me to be so truly blessed.
There is one person who bears special acknowledgement. A gentle soul who has been an integral part of my existence for most of my life. He is quiet and gentle, quirky and kind, brilliant and creative, and a stalwart friend who has shared every – and I mean every – up and down, good and bad moment, triumph and loss, hope and dream. He was my first and dearest creative partner and the bestest of best friends for 56 years and counting, the unassuming Alex Marciniszyn. You know him as a Palladium editor and staff member, but he is so much more to me. We are as close as brothers – closer. Alex was my first publishing partner (Megaton Publishing), fellow artist and writer on a couple of fanzines in our teens and five issues of A+Plus, an alternative comic book, published during our college days. Alex is one of the Defilers, a sounding board for my ideas, researcher, concept guy, first Palladium employee and the helper behind the scenes at Palladium since day one before I could even afford to pay him. He was the best man at my wedding, an uncle to my children, and a kindred spirit throughout my life. Our love, friendship, and support for each other has never wavered, no matter the circumstance to this very day. In our youth, Alex and I were so inseparable, like the two Musketeers, that my Dad used to introduce him to others as, “and this is Alex, my other son.” Friends like that are truly rare and precious. Thank you, Alex for being such a great friend and vital part of my existence. May we share many new adventures in the decades ahead.
I hope you don’t mind me sharing like this. As I said, the loss of Kathy has made me introspective and all the more appreciative of my wonderful life and the multitude of awesome people in it. I see you, our fans, as our extended Palladium family and that puts you among those awesome people in my life. As such, I feel like I can share my inner thoughts and feelings with you. These Closing Thoughts have never been just about business. Palladium is a different kind of company. We really are a family by choice, and you are part of that family. I love it.
For those of you who may also be suffering a profound loss, I share your pain, and though you may not believe it now, things will get better. I promise, even as I struggle with that very notion myself. Be kind and patient with yourself. It’s okay to feel that deep loss and sorrow and to cry. I cried like a baby this past Monday and I have no idea what triggered it. It sucks, but it’s also okay, and things will get better. You’ll get better. Lean on your friends and gaming and whatever else brings you joy and happiness. A friend who lost his wife a few years ago said his weekly games were one of the few things that brought him joy and helped him through his time of grief and pain. Whether you too are grieving or happy as a clam, I want to reiterate Erick Wujcik’s final words to me, before he died: “In the end, all that matters is the people you love and whatever brings you joy. Find your joy and hold it close.” Amen. Have a great weekend, find joy, and game on.
– Kevin Siembieda, Game Designer, writer, and friend
